Uncle Eds Magnificent Time Machine 19xx.xx.xx Show 02

Summary

Harold's Old Time Radio - Episode: Uncle Ed's Magnificent Time Machine Show 02

Release Date: April 8, 2025

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Introduction

Uncle Ed's Magnificent Time Machine takes listeners on an engaging journey through the Golden Age of Radio, showcasing iconic radio shows and pivotal moments from the early to mid-20th century. This episode delves into beloved programs like Amos and Andy, Cecil and Sally, and The Aristocrats, interwoven with musical performances and cutting-edge news segments that reflect the societal and political climate of their times.

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Amos and Andy: The Road to Chicago

Timestamp: 02:27 - 12:47

Overview: This segment features the classic radio duo Amos and Andy, whose comedic banter highlights the aspirations and struggles of African American characters in the late 1920s. In this episode, Amos and Andy discuss their plans to move to Chicago in search of better opportunities.

Key Points:

• Aspirations vs. Reality: Amos envisions Chicago as a land of prosperity with ample job opportunities, while Andy remains skeptical based on letters from friends who faced hardships.
• Friendship and Trust: The dynamic between Amos and Andy showcases their reliance on each other despite differing viewpoints.

Notable Quotes:

• Amos: “They tell me that the newspapers up there are full of want Ads. They are so hard up for men to work.” (04:02)
• Andy: “Well, I tries to understand the best I kin.” (04:05)
• Amos: “Leave it to me, son. We'll go up there and go in business.” (06:06)

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Cecil and Sally: A 1932 Soap Opera

Timestamp: 13:34 - 21:38

Overview: Ceicul and Sally presents a heartfelt soap opera episode set in 1932, focusing on themes of charity, misunderstanding, and community support. Cecil and Sally attempt to help Mrs. Vanderlip, a neighbor struggling with financial difficulties.

Key Points:

• Acts of Kindness: Cecil and Sally represent a community club dedicated to aiding those in need, emphasizing the importance of compassion.
• Miscommunication: Initial misunderstandings between the characters add depth to the narrative, highlighting societal challenges of the era.
• Resolution: The episode concludes with Mrs. Vanderlip receiving assistance, reinforcing the show's message of helping others.

Notable Quotes:

• Cecil: “We came to call on you.” (17:24)
• Sally: “We want to give this $5 as a good deed to a nice poor lady.” (19:56)
• Mrs. Vanderlip: “Well, I must say this is unusual, but may I? Thank you.” (18:21)

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Ed Bolton's Musical Interlude: "Nevertheless"

Timestamp: 22:22 - 24:21

Overview: Renowned singer Ed Bolton graces the microphone with his rendition of the 1931 classic "Nevertheless." His performance bridges the narrative segments, providing a melodic respite that underscores the emotional undertones of the preceding stories.

Notable Quotes:

• Amos: “Ed's version is the best version.” (24:38)

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The Aristocrats: Harmonious Reflections of 1934

Timestamp: 26:24 - 37:51

Overview: The Aristocrats showcases a musical group's performance from 1934, blending orchestrated pieces with dramatic dialogue that reflects the cultural ambiance of the time. The segment transitions seamlessly between musical numbers and scripted interactions, offering a glimpse into the entertainment landscape of the era.

Key Points:

• Musical Variety: The group's performances demonstrate the diverse musical tastes of the 1930s.
• Dramatic Elements: Intermittent dialogues add narrative depth, portraying everyday scenarios and the societal norms of the period.

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American Radio Newsreel: The World in 1939

Timestamp: 39:11 - 56:49

Overview: This pivotal segment presents the American Radio Newsreel from 1939, delivering critical news updates and insightful commentary during a tumultuous period marked by the onset of World War II.

Key Topics:

• Political Forecasting: Wyatt Williams, a renowned columnist, discusses his predictions regarding the march of Germany into Austria and the potential outbreak of World War II.
• Legal Drama: Coverage of the lawsuit between Rev. Dr. Harry Rimmer and Mr. William Floyd over alleged scientific errors in the Bible, highlighting the intersection of religion, science, and law.
• Sports Highlights: An interview with football legend Tuffy Lehman contrasts college and professional football, emphasizing the physical demands and character-building aspects of the sport.
• Humanitarian Efforts: General Terry Roosevelt Jr. advocates for aid to Chinese refugees affected by the Sino-Japanese conflict, underscoring the global humanitarian crises of the time.

Notable Quotes:

• Wyatt Williams: “I think that the end of the war will come with the definite overthrow of Hitlerism inaugurated inside Germany.” (41:39)
• Mr. Floyd: “If Dr. Rimmer and the church will sign a paper admitting that there are numerous errors in the Bible, I will withdraw the suit.” (44:57)
• Tuffy Lehman: “When you're playing professional ball, you're playing for the love of it. And also getting a little check on the side.” (50:33)
• General Terry Roosevelt Jr.: “Just a dollar will keep a Chinese child alive for a couple of months.” (52:47)

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Wendell Wilkie's Presidential Campaign: 1940

Timestamp: 54:38 - 57:01

Overview: The episode concludes with the 1940 presidential campaign song of Wendell Wilkie, offering listeners a glimpse into the political landscape and campaign strategies of the era. The song emphasizes trust, reliability, and Wilkie’s commitment to the American people.

Notable Quotes:

• Campaign Chorus: “When true lovers move, they still say I love you on that you can rely no matter what the future brings.” (57:01)

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Conclusion

Uncle Ed's Magnificent Time Machine masterfully encapsulates the essence of America’s Golden Age of Radio, providing a nostalgic yet informative experience. Through a blend of classic radio dramas, musical performances, and insightful news segments, the podcast not only entertains but also educates listeners about the historical and cultural contexts that shaped early 20th-century America.

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Notable Quotes Summary:

• Amos on Job Opportunities: “They tell me that the newspapers up there are full of want Ads. They are so hard up for men to work.” (04:02)
• Cecil on Charity: “We came to call on you.” (17:24)
• Wyatt Williams on War Predictions: “I think that the end of the war will come with the definite overthrow of Hitlerism inaugurated inside Germany.” (41:39)
• General Terry Roosevelt Jr. on Aid: “Just a dollar will keep a Chinese child alive for a couple of months.” (52:47)

These quotes highlight the core themes of ambition, community support, political foresight, and humanitarianism that permeate the episode.

Transcript

[Nicole Byer]

We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Nicole Byer helping you make those rooms flyer today's style tip when it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com Ooh, beers. This has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors superior.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Wayfair Every style, every home.

[Uncle Ed]

And now it's time for Uncle Ed's magnificent time machine.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

You must remember this A kiss is still a kiss A sigh is just a sigh the fundamental things apply as time goes by and when two lovers woo they still say I love you on that you can rely no matter what the future brings as time goes.

[Narrator]

By.

[Uncle Ed]

Yes, once more it's time to sit back, relax and listen as we travel back through the sands of time to a better time. A time when America's radio was the best radio programming in all of the world. There was one particular program that proves the point because the whole family was gathered around the radio at 7pm when this program was on. And starting with this program that we're going to hear now on Tuesday, March 20, 1928, it was the second program that was destined to become America's favorite pastime. And here it is.

[Amos]

And now it's time for Amos and.

[Uncle Ed]

And once more it's time to sit back, relax and listen to Amos and Andy.

[Amos]

Amos and Andy were sent to Atlanta by their employer, Mr. Hopkins, who has a farm just outside Atlanta. Before loading up their wagon with provisions.

[Uncle Ed]

They decided to take a stroll up Decatur Street. Here they are.

[Andy]

Come on Andy, we can't waste too much time. We gotta get back and load up that wagon and get on back to the farm.

[Amos]

Now listen here son, I's regussed with you. You ain't got no sense. Every time I try to splain something to you, you don't know what I's talking about.

[Andy]

The trouble is with you that you use such big words that I can't figure em out.

[Amos]

That's all you is thick headed. That's the trouble with you.

[Andy]

Well, I tries to understand the best I kin.

[Amos]

Well now come boy, let's walk up Decatur street here and look the sights over.

[Andy]

I don't guess nothing's gonna happen to them mules we got tied out in front of that stow down there, is there?

[Amos]

If them mules would run away, they wouldn't be missed, I can tell you that. That's one thing I ain't got no use for. That's a lazy mule.

[Andy]

Tell me this now, Andy. You was talking about going to Chicago. Is Chicago bigger than Atlanta is?

[Amos]

Listen, son, Chicago is a big, big city. It's so big. Well, Chicago, if you would walk from one end of the town. Let me see here. Chicago covers more miles. Well, it's bigger than that.

[Andy]

Chicago's a big town, ain't it?

[Amos]

To give you an idea how big Chicago is, I was talking to a fellow that used to work up there. And he used to drive a secondhand automobile round. And he say that the town is so big that sometimes when the bridges is up, it take an hour to get from one end of the town to the other.

[Andy]

That sure must be some town, ain't it? What kind of bridges is that you talking about?

[Amos]

Just plain bridges, that's all.

[Andy]

But what do the bridges go over?

[Amos]

They goes over and over.

[Andy]

Well, that must be some town, all right.

[Amos]

Not only that, Amos, up in Chicago they has got. Let me see.

[Uncle Ed]

How.

[Amos]

How can I explain this to you?

[Andy]

Explain it to me, Andy. Cause I want to know about this yo stuff.

[Amos]

You is done bidding in buildings down there that go up in the air, ain't you?

[Andy]

Yeah, I done been in some of these here office buildings. And them that has elevators in them.

[Amos]

Well, they tell me that up in Chicago they go sideways.

[Andy]

What you mean, they go sideways?

[Amos]

This fella was telling me that when you wants to go from one part of the town to the other part to get on the elevator, it take you right there.

[Andy]

That sounds good. All right. I was getting soothed about it, you know.

[Amos]

Not only that, Amos, they has got more policemen in Chicago than they got people.

[Andy]

Got more policemen up there, huh? Ain't no chance of us getting arrested up there, is it?

[Amos]

The policemans up there means business, too. Then they got firemen up there. They must have a hundred firemen in that town.

[Andy]

A hundred firemen?

[Amos]

You see, that's the thing we wants to do, Amos. We wants to get up there, get a big job. Then we can come down here and tell all the boys that we as big men and we got lots of money. Then they'll think we used somebody.

[Andy]

That's all right. Just so we don't go up there and starve to death. That's all I was worrying about.

[Amos]

Even if we get up there and don't have a job before we get there, we can find one.

[Andy]

What you mean, we can find one?

[Amos]

They tell me that the newspapers up there is full of want Ads. They are so hard up for men to work.

[Andy]

Well then we ain't going to have no trouble getting a job, is we?

[Amos]

All you got do is pick up a newspaper, find some place that you like and walk over to see the man and tell him you is ready to go to work.

[Andy]

How about living Spencers? Do it cost a lot, eh?

[Amos]

Now, now we can get a place up there to live for a little or nothing.

[Andy]

But they tells me it's plenty cold up there.

[Amos]

Well, the cold ain't gonna bother you none.

[Andy]

I oughta get some warm clothes though before I go up to where it's cold. My feet is on the ground now. Now look here at these shoes of mine.

[Amos]

Boy, we'll make so much money in Chicago the first week we is there that we can open up a shoe store if he wants to. You know, you might be thick headed, but I ain't so dumb. I know how to make money.

[Andy]

Well, I was telling you to go up there. All right, just so we know we ain't going to starve. That's the main thing.

[Amos]

Leave it to me, son. We'll go up there and go in business.

[Andy]

Well, tell me this, Andy. Somebody was telling me that Chicago was way out west. Is that right?

[Amos]

Well, if I had a map here I could show you where it is on the map.

[Andy]

I heard that everybody out there dressed up like a cowboy and they have buffaloes running around and everything.

[Amos]

Well, we don't care how they dress and we don't care nothing about the buffaloes. The main thing we wants to do is get up there and make some money.

[Andy]

You want to stop here in the barbershop here a minute and see if we see any of the boys we know.

[Amos]

I was going in the barbershop anyway to get a haircut.

[Andy]

You ain't got no time to get a haircut.

[Amos]

Listen here, Amos, when I wants to get a haircut, I gets one. Now don't try to tell me what I ain't got time to do.

[Andy]

We gotta get back and load up that wagon and get back to the farm, Auntie. That's what we gotta do.

[Amos]

Don't worry about that now.

[Andy]

Look here, look who's standing in front of the barbershop.

[Amos]

Well, there's old Jim.

[Andy]

Hello there, Jim. How is you?

[Amos]

Oh, hello there boys. What is you doing in town? Well, I brought Amos in here, Jim, to get some pervisions from the market downtown here.

[Andy]

Yeah, we both come in to get some groceries to take them back out to the farm.

[Amos]

Well, how is everything on the Farm there, boys. Well, it's all right, Jim, but we is figuring on going to Chicago and get a big job.

[Andy]

Yeah, that's what we figured on, Jim. We is figuring on leaving here sometime and going to Chicago.

[Amos]

Well, a lot of boys goes to the big cities every now and then. I was just screaming to Amos here, Jim, that a fellow with my ability could go up to Chicago and there, and then we could clean up a fortune.

[Andy]

Yeah, what you think about that, Jim? You think we can make him a lot of money up there?

[Amos]

Well, that's hard to tell there, boys. Some of the boys from here went up to New York. Then some of the boys went to Chicago. They tells me that Chicago is the place to go for big money. But two of the boys that left here a month ago wrote one of the boys back here a letter the other day. He said that they wanted to borrow $5 to get something to eat with up there.

[Andy]

But that don't sound so good, do it?

[Amos]

Another one of the boys asked, went up to Chicago. Does he say that it is so cold there one day that while he was looking for work, both his ears done froze up on him.

[Andy]

Both of his ears froze up while I was looking for work, huh?

[Amos]

Well, he must have looked in the wrong place. I ain't expecting to go up there and look out for snow or nothing.

[Andy]

The boy's ears froze up on him, huh?

[Amos]

And like a crazy man this year, boy poured hot water on his ears, like to ruin him. Well, that man ain't got no sense. The boy was looking for work in the snow.

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[Andy]

They tells me, Jim, that it's mighty cold up there. Is that right?

[Amos]

Well, it gets below zero up there. Below zero? Hmm. That ain't nothing.

[Andy]

Zero sounds bad enough. That sounds like it's cold to me.

[Amos]

Well, I gonna get on here and get a haircut.

[Andy]

Wait a minute, Andy. We ain't got no time for you to get no haircut. We gotta get back on the farm. You know that, don't you?

[Amos]

Now, don't give me no back talk, son. I's going in and get a haircut.

[Andy]

Wait a minute. You can't get no haircut now. We gotta load that wagon up and get back out there. I'm telling you, Jim.

[Amos]

Do you?

[Nicole Byer]

We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfarer message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Nicole Byer helping you make those rooms. Liar. Today's style tip. When it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild like an untamed animal print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com. ooh, ears, this has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors superior.

[Cecil]

Wayfair every style, every home Boy trying.

[Amos]

To tell me what to do. Well, I guess Amos don't want to get no trouble with the balls.

[Andy]

That's right, Jim. I don't want to get no trouble with the balls.

[Amos]

Now listen, you go on down there and load that wagon up. And then after you get it loaded, drive by here and pick me up. By that time I'll get my hair cut.

[Andy]

All right, then I'll go on down there and load that wagon up. I wish you'd come on down and help me though.

[Amos]

Don't mess with me, son. Now go on and do what I tell you. Ain't I getting ready to take you to Chicago?

[Andy]

Well, I'll go down and get the wagon loaded up and come by here for you. I'll see you later, Jim.

[Amos]

Well, so long there, Amos. Now wait a minute. You got five cents in your pocket?

[Andy]

Yeah, I got five cents.

[Amos]

Go across the street there and get me a big cigar and bring it over to me before you go down there.

[Andy]

All right, I'll get you one.

[Amos]

Well, it looks like Andy's going to.

[Uncle Ed]

Have his haircut in the barber shop.

[Amos]

And Amos is going to be left out in the cold.

[Uncle Ed]

Tune in again tomorrow for another chapter.

[Amos]

In the lives of Amos and Andy. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.

[Uncle Ed]

Uncle Ed's magnificent time machine has just taken us to Tuesday, March 20, 1928, with the best radio program of all, the most listened to radio program of all in the United States of America called Amos and Andy. And now we're going to advance forward in our time machine to April 29, 1932. It's the comic strip of the air, Cecil and Sally.

[Cecil]

Cecil, this is the little boy on the porch.

[Sally]

Say, Sally, do you think I really ought to give him my watch?

[Cecil]

Oh, the poor hungry little boy. Of course. Make him happy, Cecil. You'll be rewarded in heaven.

[Sally]

He's a dumb looking little boy.

[Cecil]

Wait, Cecil. Oh, hello, little boy. Do you live here?

[Sally]

That's a dumb question to ask, Sally. You know he does.

[Cecil]

Please, Cecil. I'm talking to the little boy.

[Sally]

Bet he's deaf and dumb.

[Cecil]

Hello, little boy.

[Sally]

Oh, go ahead and knock on the door, Sally.

[Cecil]

Well, go ahead and give the little boy your watch like you promised. Poor little boy.

[Sally]

Oh, all right.

[Narrator]

Hey, you, you want a watch?

[Cecil]

What's wrong with it?

[Sally]

Well, for cat's Sake. That's a swell thing to say, Cecil.

[Cecil]

Let me have it.

[Narrator]

Here.

[Cecil]

Here, you poor little boy. Here, take it. It's yours now. Is your sick mother in the house? What do you want? Oh, well, we want to see her. We live down the street, and we've come to help you.

[Narrator]

We have?

[Sally]

We're going to give your mother some money.

[Cecil]

Give it to me.

[Sally]

Hey, let him go. Sally, ring the doorbell.

[Cecil]

Well, all right. There.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Ha, ha.

[Sally]

I didn't hear it.

[Cecil]

Oh, I guess it rang. Inside. We'll be back in a minute. Little boy. Isn't he cute, Cecil?

[Sally]

I hope he appreciates that.

[Narrator]

Watch.

[Cecil]

Oh, it's just grand to go out like this, Cecil. Helping people and making life more. More beautiful. Take a deep breath, Cecil.

[Uncle Ed]

There.

[Cecil]

Doesn't doing good deeds make you feel better, Cecil? It's wonderful to help others. It just fills our hearts with. With. With. With hooey? No, not with hooey. With. With. Someone's coming to the door.

[Sally]

Wish this was over.

[Cecil]

This is our duty.

[Sally]

I hope the lady isn't proud and doesn't get insulted.

[Cecil]

Wait, Tiso. She's going to open the door. Hello.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Oh, how do you do?

[Cecil]

I represent the DA Day Club. We go through life, highways, and byways scattering happiness like the farmer shows his.

[Sally]

We came to call on you. That is Sheila, and I came with her. This is Sally Smith, and she lives two blocks from you.

[Cecil]

Oh, Cecil, you spoiled my speech.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Oh, I see you're neighbors. Well, that's charming of you to call. Won't you both come in?

[Cecil]

Yes. This is Cecil. He's the boy that goes calling with me. When he comes over to my house and I go calling and he's around.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Oh, I see. Well, I'm very glad to have you call. You come in.

[Cecil]

Thank you. Come on, Cecil. Isn't she brave, Cecil? She's just trying to make us think she isn't about dying.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Just come right in here. We just moved in, and my furniture hasn't arrived yet.

[Cecil]

Yes, we'll follow you, Cecil. It's just an excuse. I haven't really got any furniture.

[Narrator]

Isn't it sad?

[Sally]

Don't whisper.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

She might hear you now. I'm sorry, but you'll have to sit down on these packing boxes. That's all we have in the way of chairs.

[Narrator]

I.

[Sally]

It's all right.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Mrs. Vanderlip is the name.

[Cecil]

Yes, Mrs. Vanderlip. Thank you. I bet you wondered why we came.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Why, no. However, I'm glad you did.

[Cecil]

Well, you see, I go around. That is, I want to help people. I Represent the girls of our city. The deed of day. And this is sort of my good deed.

[Sally]

Yeah. Ms. Vanderlip, I came along with Sally because she told me about you.

[Cecil]

Oh, Cecil. I'll tell her. I've seen your little boy out in front, and I know all.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Oh, dear. Has that child been talking again? Wilmot has a vivid imagination.

[Cecil]

I talked to him, in fact, the other day.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Oh, that must have been the day we moved in. He looked like a little tramp.

[Sally]

Ah, that's all right. We know you couldn't help it.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Indeed I can't. You've no idea how hard it is.

[Cecil]

Oh, yes, we have. And that's why we've come to rescue you.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Why, I don't quite follow you. Wilmot should be thanked if he was impolite.

[Cecil]

Oh, no, Mrs. Vanderlip. But we know what he really needs.

[Narrator]

You do?

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

And may I ask what it is? Food.

[Cecil]

Isn't that right, Cecil?

[Sally]

Yeah. And milk.

[Cecil]

Good cow's milk, though I've heard that goat's milk is very helpful.

[Sally]

Sally here belongs to the deed.

[Cecil]

Cecil, let me. I know what to say.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Did I understand you to say that you were knavery?

[Cecil]

Oh, yes. My uncle is Mr. Thomas Smith.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Oh, yes, I've heard of him in the music business.

[Cecil]

Yes, that's my uncle Cecil. She's heard of my uncle. Woofenderna's sake. Ha ha ha.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

A charming man from what I've heard. My, I'm glad he didn't drop in with the house in the condition it is.

[Cecil]

Oh, that's all right. He'd overlook it. He knows what it means to be poor.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

I don't quite understand.

[Cecil]

Oh, you don't need to pretend with us, Mrs. Vanderlip. We understand. Don't we, Cecil?

[Sally]

Yeah, and we feel sorry for you, too.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

You feel sorry for me?

[Cecil]

Yes. And your secret will be sacred with us. We'll help you all we can. You poor, sweet lady.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Well, I must say this is unusual, but may I? Thank you.

[Sally]

Regardless, think nothing of it.

[Cecil]

That's what the D to day is for.

[Sally]

I helped them get started. But that wouldn't interest you.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Oh, yes. My dear friend Mrs. Landis is a well known club woman here in town.

[Cecil]

You must be very unhappy with no furniture in this house.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Yes, my dear, it is rather trying, but at least we have the lights turned on.

[Sally]

Oh, the light company wouldn't dare turn.

[Cecil]

Them off just because Mrs. Vanderlip is there. Just you and little Wilmot?

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Yes. My husband is away.

[Cecil]

You mean he deserted you?

[Sally]

Did he run out and leave you in need?

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Why, no. Whatever made you say that? Why, he's in the East.

[Cecil]

Oh, goodness, but you're brave. You're a very beautiful lady, too, Mrs. Vanderslip.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Why, thank you, my dear.

[Cecil]

That's charming of you, that is, considering what you've been through.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Been through? Oh, yes. You mean moving into this neighborhood?

[Cecil]

Oh, Mrs. Vandercliff, I think you're just marvelous to be so happy about it, struggling as you are all alone.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Well, I will admit that moving is a struggle.

[Sally]

Sally, it's not Vander Cliff. It's Vandermyt.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

No, no, no. It's Vanderliffe.

[Cecil]

We've come to help. The D to day, like the Navy, has things well in hand.

[Sally]

You mean the Marines, Shelly?

[Cecil]

Well, they're all sailors.

[Sally]

Well, tell her about what you came to do for her.

[Cecil]

Oh, yes, Mrs. Vandermet, are you proud?

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Why, to a degree, I presume I am.

[Cecil]

Well, now, you mustn't be. When a person is in need, they. They should swallow their pride.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Yes.

[Cecil]

Well, the deed a day has $5 to give to some poor lady that's hungry and sick and. Oh, now, don't be insane.

[Sally]

No, because Sally doesn't want to insult you.

[Cecil]

Remember, bakers can't be choosers. Well, we want to give this $5 as a good deed to a nice poor lady.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Oh, will you pardon me just a moment? Someone's at the door. My maid hasn't joined me. I'll have to attend to it.

[Cecil]

Come in.

[Narrator]

Mrs. Man live here?

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Yes, what is it? The package. Bring it in, please.

[Narrator]

Yes, ma'am.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Packet COD oh, yes, thank you. Put it on. How much is it?

[Narrator]

$45.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Oh, just a moment. I'll look in my purse. Oh, can you change a $100 bill?

[Uncle Ed]

No, ma'am.

[Amos]

I've only got change for a 50.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Oh, well, here's a $50 bill, then.

[Ed Bolton]

Yes, ma'am.

[Narrator]

Here's your change.

[Uncle Ed]

Thank you, ma'am.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Thank you. Goodbye. Few things I had sent out from one of the stores for little Wilmot. Now, what were you saying about this girl's club?

[Cecil]

Oh, how was that money real that you gave him?

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

What do you mean by real?

[Cecil]

Oh, nothing. Aren't you afraid to carry so much in your purse?

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Oh, perhaps I shouldn't, but I'm used to it. Now, what were you saying about the $5?

[Sally]

Nothing.

[Ed Bolton]

We.

[Sally]

Sal. Sally, I think we'll go.

[Cecil]

Oh, I was saying that $5 is $5, isn't it?

[Sally]

Yeah, it sure is. It's never 10 or 3. It's always 5. Come on, Sally.

[Cecil]

We just came over to call and say hello.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Well, I'm certainly glad you did. Must you really leave?

[Cecil]

Oh, yes, we must. I just wanted to say if you ever hear of anyone, some poor people that might need money, my club is helping people. Of course, $5 is nothing to you.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

No, I'm afraid it isn't. But I shall speak to my friend Mrs. Landis about your club.

[Cecil]

Well, thank you very much, and goodbye.

[Sally]

Goodbye.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Goodbye.

[Uncle Ed]

Well, there you have it, kids. One of the very first radio programs ever to be aired. In fact, I think it's one of the very first soap operas. And this program aired April 29, 1932. And now it gives me a lot of pleasure to bring to the microphone a good friend of mine, one of the best singers I know, and he's going to sing a song from 1931, and it's called Nevertheless. Here's Ed Bolton.

[Amos]

But nevertheless I'm in love with you.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Maybe I win and maybe I'll lose and maybe I'll die from crying the.

[Amos]

Blues but nevertheless I'm in love with.

[Narrator]

You.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Somehow I know at a glance A terrible chance and I'm taking.

[Amos]

Fight.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

At the start and make a heart.

[Amos]

That is great.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Maybe I'll live a.

[Amos]

Life of regret and maybe I'll give.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Much more than I'll get But nevertheless.

[Amos]

I'm in love with you.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Somehow I know at a glance the terrible chance that I'm taking Fine at the start.

[Amos]

And left with a heart that ends.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Pray maybe I live a life of.

[Amos]

Regret and maybe I'll give much more than I'll get But nevertheless I'm in love with you.

[Uncle Ed]

Well, there you have it, folks. That's my good friend Ed Bolton singing a song from 1931 called Nevertheless. The Mills Brothers did it later on, and then Bobby Vinton did it. But I gotta tell you, I think.

[Amos]

Ed's version is the best version.

[Uncle Ed]

Now I'm gonna give the microphone back to my good friend, Ed Bolton. Ed? Thank you, John. There was a musical group known as the Aristocrats that broadcast in the year 1934. Our magic time machine is now going to go forward from 1932, the moment of Cecil and Sally, to the year 1934. And we're going to listen right now to that group called the Aristocrats. And here they are.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

This night can be a night that we remember this night can be a night that we'll forget Our love can be a flame without an ember or it can be a little game we may replay all of your charms Overwhelm.

[Narrator]

Me.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Here in my arms your divine A light is in your eyes that seems to tell me this lovely night will be the night I made you.

[Narrator]

Mine.

[Ed Bolton]

And that was the orchestra saluting you with the selection. This night. We come now to a bit of drama. The scene a dark, deserted street. And the time.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Well, who is it?

[Narrator]

It's just me, my dear, bringing you oceans and oceans of love. Come down and unlock the door, will you?

[Cecil]

This is a fine time to be getting home.

[Narrator]

I couldn't help it, my dear. I had to stay at the office till 2 o'clock on account of the strike.

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

Well, you can just stay on the.

[Cecil]

Front porch till 8 o'clock on account of the lockout.

[Ed Bolton]

And we wouldn't fool you for a moment, folks. The next number is Love Lockdown.

[Narrator]

That.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Love locked out in all the cold and rain Love locked out may never come again Love locked out and weeping bitter too no one ever hears love calling Though we need the precious gift it brings we don't heed the song of loved saints on the door Love beats its tiny wings Just love locked out A world without love is a world without wine A sad world full of bl so please make a place there for love in your heart it doesn't need much room Love is well worth waiting for when it comes knocking at your door Fling it w For love like that will come no.

[Cecil]

More.

[Ed Bolton]

The orchestra continues with Let them Eat Cake from the.

[Narrator]

There'll be some changes May.

[Ed Bolton]

Just a second, folks.

[Narrator]

What are they?

[Mrs. Vanderlip]

That's it.

[Cecil]

That's it. There'll be some changes.

[Ed Bolton]

Yeah, but what are the changes?

[Cecil]

Oh, get out of the way. I'll announce it myself. The next number, ladies and gentlemen, is There'll be some changes made.

[Narrator]

What will be different? My talk and my name. Nothing about me going to be that. And I'm going to change my way I give them. That ain't enough I'm going to change the way I drive myself Nobody wants you when you're old and grass wealthy There'll be a change in my music.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

From the tree to the heart.

[Narrator]

Sweet.

[Cecil]

Music is a thing that I forgot.

[Narrator]

Changes will be made I'm going to change my way I step in, drive.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Me down to the mark Moment in.

[Narrator]

My desert life Sweet and slow There'll be some changes Next. Let's go. There'll be some changes Next. Oh, no. There'll be some changes.

[Ed Bolton]

Say, listen, folks. Listen. Get up close to your loudspeakers. This is very confidential. But you know that business where she whispered to me about There'll be some changes made. Remember that. Well, listen, that was just a gag all put on. I knew what the number was right along. And those girls, the three girls who just sang it, well, they've been rehearsing.

[Narrator]

It for a week.

[Uncle Ed]

Yeah, honest.

[Ed Bolton]

And now this next number. There's no gag about it at all. It's called Little Did I Dream.

[Narrator]

Okay, boys, take it.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Little did I dream until you came along that life could ever hold so many charms but how was I to know that I would ever hold you in my, my arms? Though I used to plan on seeing you alone in some secluded secret rendezvous? Oh, little did I dream that every little scheme would soon come through I never knew skies could be so blue, dear I never knew life could be so sublime I always thought when I dreamt of you, dear I was wasting my time but strange as it may seem you've opened up your heart and you've confessed that you're in love with me oh, little did I dream that such a sweet romance as this.

[Narrator]

Sa.

[Uncle Ed]

Uncle Ed's magnificent time machine has just taken us back to the year 1934 as this program came over the radio exactly as it was broadcast in 1934, and it was called the Aristocrats. Now we're going to advance forward our time machine to the year 1939. Germany is attacking England. The United States has a big problem. Whether to help its friend England against Germany and risk being involved and drawn into another world war, or whether to isolate itself and say in effect, well, what goes on in Europe is their business and we're not going to interfere. In 1939, there was a program called the American radio newsreel, and we're going to listen to it now. In 1939.

[Ed Bolton]

The American radio newsreel, a headline hunting expedition on the scene of action along the news fronts of the world. Behind the headline, the world's ace political forecaster looks into the future. Here is Wyatt Williams, internationally known columnist and editor of Greenwich Time, the most uncanny political predictor in the world today. But I'm going to let Mr. Williams himself tell you about his predictions which already have proved true. All right, wife Williams, it's your turn.

[Narrator]

In my column as the clock strikes printed in Greenwich Time other newspapers, I predicted the march of Germany into Austria some weeks before it happened. I declared at the time of the Munich conference that the Germans would not march day after day prior. And during that conference, about six months before the Russian German alliance, I made the prediction that happening giving chapter and verse upon what was then taking place between the two nations. On six different occasions from last Easter until the end of July, I made the prediction that the World War II would begin either the last in the last week of August or the 1st of September.

[Ed Bolton]

Well, look, Mr. Williams, you don't read the stars, look at the tea leaves or gaze into crystals. Please tell our listeners how you arrive at your conclusion.

[Narrator]

Well, I lived 46 years abroad constantly. And when I came back, I had the forethought of establishing several very good pipelines of information. From those, I get most of my news underground in the grapevine. Grapevine routes in that coral.

[Ed Bolton]

Oh, I see. Well, from your secret sources of information, have you formed an opinion about how the war will end?

[Narrator]

I think that the end of the war will come with the definite overthrow of Hitlerism inaugurated inside Germany.

[Ed Bolton]

And what role, if any, do you think the United States will play in the European war do you believe we will be drawn in?

[Narrator]

The United States, by the recent action of Congress, is giving itself industrial force largely to the democracies, because the democracies control the seas and they can buy our material where Germany cannot. Therefore, with that great aid given to the democracies by the United States, I do not think that the United States ever will be called upon to fight with strong war.

[Ed Bolton]

That should be reassuring to our listeners coming from you, Mr. Williams. And I know they all appreciate your reading between the lines of the international news. Thank you, wife, William. The Public Forum Editor Hughes Minister for Scientific Errors in the Bible A few days ago, the Rev. Dr. Harry Rimmer inserted a public notice in metropolitan newspapers offering $1,000 rewards to anyone who can prove that scientific errors exist in the Bible. The challenge immediately was taken up by Mr. William Floyd, Editor of the Arbitrator, a digest magazine of news of social and scientific significance. The exchange resulted in a court suit against Dr. Emmer instituted by Mr. Floyd for collection of the thousand dollars. The American Radio Newsreel brings you the two principles in this amazing case exclusively and for the first time on the air. First, Mr. Floyd, will you tell our listeners how you came to bring the shoe to against Dr. Rimmer?

[Narrator]

I was prepared to accept the challenge made publicly by Dr. Rimmer and immediately wrote him, specifying seven of the many scientific errors in the Bible and demanding the award. As he did not reply, I asked Joseph Wheelis, an attorney prominent in free thought circles, to bring soup. And the papers were served on Dr. Rimmer and the Central Baptist Church. The case will be tried in the Municipal Court, 4th District, New York.

[Ed Bolton]

And now let's hear Dr. Rimmer's side. Dr. Rimmer, is this the first suit that has ever been filed against you for collection of the reward?

[Narrator]

Once before, our committee was sued by this same attorney on this same issue. The suit was tried in the municipal court here in the City of New York, and our corporation won a decision.

[Ed Bolton]

Well, now, Mr. Floyd, do you intend to continue the suit you have instituted against the Dr. Rimmer for the thousand dollars?

[Narrator]

The monetary side of the case is of no importance. If Dr. Rimmer and the church will sign a paper admitting that there are numerous errors in the Bible, I will withdraw the suit.

[Ed Bolton]

Dr. Rimmer, why didn't your organization pay the reward to Mr. Floyd on the basis of the evidence he says he submitted?

[Narrator]

They wrote, in a rehash of the ancient ignorances made popular by Thomas Payne in the Age of Reason and by Colonel Robert Ingersoll in his rather famous or infamous book Book, The Mistakes of Moses. All of these questions have been answered repeatedly in the last 70 or 80 years. We presume it would be a little difficult to find an infidel who was within 80 years of up to date in his thinking or in his evidences.

[Ed Bolton]

Well, Doctor, you say that you have tried such a case before. What do you think will be the outcome of Mr. Floyd's Cute against you?

[Narrator]

In a word, the ridiculous contention of this suit is such that it will be difficult to get an intelligent judge to consider it with a straight face. When this same case was tried before, the judge gave a rather unique decision. In effect, he asked if the plaintiff was there when this thing happened upon being told that it had occurred occurred some 3,500 years ago and the plaintiff could not be there. In effect, the judge said, well, Moses was there, so we'll take his word for it. I'm afraid that that decision must rest in this case as well.

[Ed Bolton]

Thanks, Dr. Rimmer and Mr. Floyd. The American radio newsreel is taking no side in this case, but we know that every listener in will. We'd like to know your reaction. So if you'll drop a card or a letter to us here of this station or to our New York Radio City studios, we'll tabulate the votes for and again and broadcast the results over this station. Soon, the comic page George Jessel reaches back for a gag about Sophie Tucker. Your deso comic star of Footlights films and airwaves pops out of the headlines of the theater session to tell us one about his old friend, Sophie Tucker. Georgie, how long have you known Sophie?

[Narrator]

Oh, my, my, my. How long have I known Sophie? Well, there was McKinley, Garfield, James G. Blaine, Sophie Tucker and I in a show along. Now, I've known Sophie Tucker since I was a little bit of a kid and she wasn't much more than that herself. A little heavier than I was, but she was kind of a kid herself. Oh my.

[Ed Bolton]

Can you remember any amusing incidents, George.

[Narrator]

With Sophie on the stage?

[Ed Bolton]

Have you ever played with her?

[Narrator]

Well, in vaudeville we always played on the same programs on and off, two or three times a year. No, I don't. The only very amusing thing I remember was on a bill with singer's midget. And the midget were very fond of Ms. Tucker. As a matter of fact, every time she went to do her turn, they would be in the entrance and I'll never forget it, she came off to make a quick change, tripped over these little. And turned to the stage manager and said, every time I come off here, I'm just up to my neck to make it. I changed that around a little, but that's what really happened.

[Ed Bolton]

Well, thanks a lot, Georgie Dazzle. And remember, there's an open invitation to come back and visit all these folks again. The sports page. A professional star comments on college versus pro football. Just coming into the dressing room of the Polo Grounds is Tuffy Lehman, one of the all time greats of football. Here to interview him is your microphone reporter, Mike Flair. Take it, Mike. And Tuffy, what's one of the most.

[Narrator]

Thrilling experiences you've ever had playing football? Well, Mike, I've had a lot of them, but I'll tell you. One of the most thrilling for me was the one when we won the championship in Green Bay last year and became the world's championship football team. It was really a thriller.

[Ed Bolton]

Pardon me a minute, Mike and Toffee I'd like to put in my. Or do you mind telling us what you believe is the difference between the professional and the college game?

[Narrator]

Well, that seems to be a question that's pretty hard to answer for everyone. One reason why I think professional ball is a little tougher than college ball is because after all, take for instance, a chain. If you have a weak, there's always a weakness there where it's a possibility of breaking. Well, in football, so goes it too. You might have one man that's a little weaker than the other one. What did you do? You just turn around and go kaploo. You're right into that spot. Well, professional football, where you're paid for doing things, you're supposed to have the cream of the crop. So that answers my question as far As I can tell you. Well, Tuppy, which do you like to.

[Ed Bolton]

Play the best, college or professional football?

[Narrator]

Well, I think I'd rather play college professional ball. Pardon me for getting a little hasty there, but, you know, after all, I'm just out of college a little while. But, you know, when you're playing professional ball, you're playing for the love of it. And also getting a little check on the side.

[Ed Bolton]

Mike, here's that man again. Excuse me for butting in, but I'm sure the American radio newsreel audience would like to hear from Toffee about Don Herring.

[Narrator]

What is your opinion of the case of big Dunn Herring Jr. The Princeton football star who had his leg amputated due to injuries received in Princeton's game with Brown? Well, that's a tough, tough one, Mike. I'll tell you why. That big boy was out there giving all he had. And I imagine right now, when things are really tough on him, he's got to give a lot more. And right now is the time that I'm sure he'll come through. Because on the football field, they're supposed to make characters. And I know that that boy is really there with everything that a football player has got to have, and he's got it.

[Ed Bolton]

And every reader of the nation's sports pages agrees with you, I'm sure. Now, Mike Blair, let's go and leave Stuffy to take his shower. And thanks a lot, Toughie Lehman. Teddy Roosevelt has made for Chinese war.

[Narrator]

Refugees.

[Ed Bolton]

Crowded off page one for the past few weeks, but still in the news is the war. War in China. The bowl of Rice dinners being held throughout the nation find prominent Americans urging help for the unfortunate civilian victims of the sino Japanese conflict. General Terry Roosevelt, Jr. Who knows the Chinese situation probably as well as any living American, is in New York's Chinatown attending the bowl of Rice dinner. From there, he explains the plight of the Chinese people and how we can help. Now, Colonel Teddy Roosevelt speaking from Chinatown. Do you realize that an American dollar.

[Narrator]

Just a dollar, will keep a Chinese.

[Ed Bolton]

Child alive for a couple of months?

[Narrator]

It's the truth. I think all Americans ought to know this and ought to realize that if they will put aside $1, nothing more, and send it for use in China, if that. That dollar will spell the life, and I mean literally the life of a child for two months. I'm with this work heart and soul.

[Ed Bolton]

Thank you, Colonel Teddy Roosevelt. I believe I am safe in saying that many of our listeners will be glad to give what the American radio newsreel is produced by Eric Palm. Edited by Joseph Johnstone and released by Ayers Prescott Incorporated, Radio City, New York. Your announcers, James Fleminger and Alan Barnes.

[Uncle Ed]

Uncle Ed's Magnificent Time machine has just taken us back to 1939. And now we're going to advance to just one year later and Wendell Wilkie is running for president. We turn on the radio in 1940 and we hear Wendell Wilkie's presidential campaign song.

[Narrator]

Everyone knows the trouble we've had now we brought them no gone we took the man when the Wilkie when the Wilkie will be a tool when the Wilkie when the milky news the what will do we'll all talk to Earth no wonder curse for we know Just.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Try and true when the Wilkie when.

[Narrator]

The Wilkie speaks and I'll give thanks Be the people that you came across the world and why Also sa We.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

Want to.

[Narrator]

Be approved when to will see when to will continue Always on your side and when to live without you.

[Uncle Ed]

And with the 1940 presidential campaign of Wendell Wilkie and his campaign song. This is Ed Bolton sang so Long for Uncle Ed's Magnificent Time Machine.

[Wayfair Voiceover]

You must remember this. A kiss is still a kiss A sigh is just a sigh the fundamental things apply as time goes by and when true lovers move they still say I love you on that you can rely no matter what the future brings as time goes by.