
Uncle Eds Magnificent Time Machine 19xx.xx.xx Show 03
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Ryan Seacrest
Hello, it is Ryan. And we could all use an extra bright spot in our day, couldn't we? Just to make up for things like sitting in traffic, doing the dishes, counting your steps, you know, all the mundane stuff. That is why I'm such a big fan of Chumba Casino. Chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino style games that you can play for free, anytime, anywhere with daily bonuses that should brighten your day a little. Actually, a lot. So sign up now@chumbacasino.com that's chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary. BGW terms and conditions 18 and now, going back in time. You are there in Uncle Ed's Magnificent Time Machine. You must remember this A kiss is still a kiss A sigh is just a sigh the fundamental things apply as time goes by and when two lovers woo they still say I love you on that you can rely no matter what the future brings as time goes by. Yes, with the singing of as Time Goes by by Rudy Valli in 1931, his famous hit even before the picture Casablanca was ever made. This is Uncle Ed's Magnificent Time Machine once again taking us back through the sands of time to a better time. A time when the best radio programming in the history of the world ever took place. We begin our program with the best of all the comedy programs in radio history. This program commanded a bigger, wider audience than any program before or since. Department stores and theaters advertised that this program would be piped through their PA system so that shoppers would not have to miss one chapter of this program. Now Uncle Ed's Magnificent Time Machine takes us Back to Thursday, March 22, 1928. All the families in the United States of America at 7pm are sitting by their radio in great anticipation to listen to this radio program. And now it's time for Amos and Andy. Yes, once more time to sit back, relax and listen to our favorite friends, Amos and Andy. The boys were walking up Decatur street in Atlanta when Andy suggested that the two of them flip coins and match for supper. Amos lost and had to pay for both suppers. As we find the two boys now they are on their way to the depot to see if they can get some information about railroad fare to Chicago. Both boys are seriously considering going to the Windy City. Here they are. What is you going to ask the man when we get down to the depot, Andy? That's the main thing. Don't make no difference what I ask him. Amos, you just come on with me. I tends to the business. But we gotta get more money than we got now though, to get up there, I can tell you that. Well, maybe they got some kind of scourgin rate up there. You know, we has got some money. Well, I've done sort of counted on buying myself some tan shoes though, Saturday. And maybe get a new hat or something. Well, wait till we get in Chicago and get your shoes. That's the thing to do. Trouble is though, Andy, if it's as cold up there as people says it is, my feet is liable to freeze up on me. Boy, I's telling you, Amos, when we gets up to Chicago, we gonna make so much money that we gonna be millionaires. I certainly would like to have a lot of money once. If I ever see $100 at one time, I was liable to get married. That's what I was liable to do. Now listen here. The first thing they wants to do is get up there in Chicago and get a good job, get a good place to live and a lot of stuff to eat. Oh yeah, that's the first thing we want to do all right. That certainly was a pretty good meal we had tonight, wasn't it? After we get more money though, we can eat better food than that. Well, I ain't gonna match you no more. Every time I match you for something to eat, I lose and I have to pay for both of them. I was just lucky, that's what I is. I'll say you was lucky. I gotta save my money if we goin to Chicago. Here's the depot right now. Come on, Amos, let's get in here and talk to this man and find out how much it costs to get up there. That's a long way up there too, ain't it? How long do it take us to get up there? Oh, we ought to get up there in two, three days on a fast train. Is you going up to the window and talk to the man? Yeah, I'll go up and talk to the man. Come on, Amos. Go up here with me though. Well, you go ahead and do all the talking, Andy. Cause I don't know nothing about him. Wait a minute. Before we get up there is you got a pencil so we can write this stuff down? I got a little pencil here if I can find it. I don't know if it's got no point on it though. Well, see if you can't find a thing. I gotta have a pencil here. Cause when I talks to the man, I wants to write down some figures. Yeah, choose, Andy. Ain't got much of a point on it there. You might be able to sharpen That a little bit is. You got a knife? Hand it to me here. I'll take my fingernail and pull some of that wood off there. Don't break a point, now. I ain't gonna break it. Hold on, now. That's enough. Yeah, you is. Yeah, you is. Go ahead, now. Come on, Amos. Let's go up through the window here. That's what you. Go ahead, talk to the man. Hey, mister, can I ask you a question? Sure, what is it you want to know? How much do it cost to go from here to Chicago? The fare is 26.72. That's $26.72. Say, mister, you ain't got nothing cheaper than that, is you? No, that's the lowest fare from here to Chicago. That's a lot of money, ain't it? Tell me this, mister. If two of us go up there at one time, will you make it any cheaper? No. That'll be 26.72 each. That means two times that. 2672. Donut. That's a lot of money, ain't it? That's the best rate you got, is it? Yes, that's the best rate. You want a couple of tickets? No, sir, mister. Don't bother about getting us no tickets right now. We ain't packed up our things yet. We'll be back. Yeah. Thank you, mister. Come on, Andy. Let's get away from here. Figure this thing out. Wait a minute. Say, mister, can I ask you one more question? Sure, go ahead. What is it you want? You don't charge nothing extra to carry our baggage up there, do you? Oh, no. That's included in the 2672. Step into the world of power, loyalty and luck. I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. With family, cannolis and spins mean everything. Now you want to get mixed up in the family business. Introducing the godfather@champacasino.com test your luck in the shadowy world of the Godfather slot. Someday I will call upon you to do a service for me. Play the Godfather now@shambacasino.com Welcome to the family. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. Packages by Expedia. You were made to be rechargeable. We were made to package flights, hotels and hammocks for less. Expedia. Made to travel. Thank you, mister. Where's you going now, Andy? I'm going to sit down here. Come on, Amos. Sit down over here on this bench with me. I want to do some figuring. Come on now, let's sit down here and figure this thing out. Now, listen here. 2672. That's what it costs each one of us. Now, you has got a times that by two, ain't you? Wait till I do that. Here. 2672 times two. Two times two is. That's full. No, no, Amos. Two and two is full. We is times in here now. Well, two times two is full, ain't it? What we gotta do is multify. You is stacking them up. That's what you was doing. Two times two. Now, wait a minute. Two times two is six. Two times two is six, huh? And nothing to carry. Now, a two times seven. There's one right there. Boy, that's a dog, whatever it is. Let me see now. We is two times in 2672. Two times two is six. Nothing to carry. Two times seven, that's two sevens, ain't it? That can't be 17, can it? I know what that is. Wait a minute here. Let me count it here on my fingers. That's 14, ain't it? That's what I just said. Now, put down a foe and carries one. Now, I'll put that one up here by that six. Two times 16. Now what you gonna do now? Multiply 16, huh? Well, I gotta carry that one. I put that one right in between the two and the six. Well, what is we multiplying? We is multiplying 2672 by two. You see, Amos, the first thing is two times two is six and two times seven is 14. And then I carries one, you see. So that goes right in between the two and the 6. Oh, that goes right in between the 2 and the 6, don't it? Well, put it there. Now, let me see how it looks. Wait a minute here. Now, I put the one in between the two and the six. That makes 216. Now, is you gonna multiply that 216? Of course I gonna multiply. What do you think I gonna do with it? Well, what is that? 216? Is that $216? You see where I done put that dot in there, don't you? That makes $216. That's $216. Well, when did we get up in them big figures? That's what happened when you multiply, Amos. Well, then go ahead, do it. You know what you was doing there? 2 times 216. Let me see here. How much is 216 times 2? Well, figuring out in my own hate here, I figured that's over $400. I believe you is right, Amos. Dad is right. That's over $400 two times 2672. The way I figures here is over $400. That certainly is a lot of money for us to get up there on either. Listen, Amos, I got an idea. We'll fool him. I'll go one day and give 26.72. Then the next day, don't say nothing to him. And you go in there and give him 26.72 and we'll both get there. That's an idea. Boy, you certainly do think of Amanda. Well, it sure looks like the boys just might get to Chicago after all, doesn't it? If only they can come up with the money for the ticket. Tune in next time for another chapter in the exciting adventures of Amos and Andy. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company. This is Henry Kissinger. And that was a magnificent performance of America's greatest pastime, Amos and Andy. And now it is my pleasure to introduce a program which is one of the very first soap operas on the air. And it first aired in 1928. The name of the program is Cecil and Sally. And to introduce Cecil and Sally, I'm going to turn it over right now to my good friend Ed Bolton. Thank you very much, Henry Kissinger. Well, we're going to go forward in time from March 22, 1928, on which Amos and Andy that we just heard was broadcast to April 29, 1932, four years later. It's the comic strip of the air and it's called Cecil and Sally. Happy days are here again the skies are falling Let us sing the song of cheer again Happy days are here again well, yesterday, Sally's first good deed in the interest of the D to Day Club didn't turn out so well. She was just about to give a lady she thought was poor $5 when a delivery boy came with a COD package. The lady took a roll of bills from her purse and asked the delivery boy if he had change for a hundred dollar bill. Sally said something about just getting acquainted with her neighbors and told Cecil they had better go. The scene opens the next night and. Now, that was a fine stunt you pulled last night.
Henry Kissinger
Now, Cecil, how was I to know that the lady was very wealthy and.
Ryan Seacrest
You were about to offer her $5 to buy food?
Henry Kissinger
She phoned up here just a little while ago.
Ryan Seacrest
What for?
Henry Kissinger
She remembered Uncle Thomas's name. She told me she thought that my D to Day Club was very noble.
Ryan Seacrest
Is that all she wanted?
Henry Kissinger
No. She said she was going to tell her friend, Mrs. Guy Landis, the social worker.
Ryan Seacrest
What tour?
Henry Kissinger
She said that Mrs. Garlandis might be able to do something.
Ryan Seacrest
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Henry Kissinger
Travel thing for our club.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, that old hen. Mrs. Landis is always promising something together.
Henry Kissinger
She gets in the papers too.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, I know. I saw her picture in last Sunday's paper. She was giving a party for sick cats and weak kneed dogs.
Henry Kissinger
No, it wasn't. It was a benefit for the dog and cat hospital.
Ryan Seacrest
Well, I know it was something.
Henry Kissinger
Oh, but she's very well known. Her pictures in the papers all the time.
Ryan Seacrest
I guess you want to get your picture in the papers.
Henry Kissinger
No, but it would be nice if this Mrs. Landa said something nice about our club.
Ryan Seacrest
She makes a speech over the radio every week, doesn't she?
Henry Kissinger
Yes. Last week she had some man giving a beautiful talk entitled Our Dumb Friends of Animal World.
Ryan Seacrest
Well, I got a lot of dumb friends that look like animals.
Henry Kissinger
Is that no way to talk about your friends?
Ryan Seacrest
They're not really my friends.
Henry Kissinger
Think of the D to day. Do we go around even talking about our enemies? No, we don't. We love everybody.
Ryan Seacrest
All right, it's your club. I have nothing to do do with it.
Henry Kissinger
Our creed is to help all people and animals make life happy.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, you're gonna start that?
Henry Kissinger
Yes, I am. I'm proud of my girls club.
Ryan Seacrest
Well, you haven't done anything noble yet.
Henry Kissinger
I have to.
Ryan Seacrest
What, for instance?
Henry Kissinger
Well, our club is going to have a song.
Ryan Seacrest
A what?
Henry Kissinger
A song. I've already made up a song for the D today.
Ryan Seacrest
What do they want a song for?
Henry Kissinger
This beautiful United States of America has a song. Why shouldn't we have one?
Ryan Seacrest
You can have two as far as I care.
Henry Kissinger
So I made up the words to our club song.
Ryan Seacrest
You're planning on going to war?
Henry Kissinger
No, we don't fight. We make people happy. That's what our club is For.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah, but why a song?
Henry Kissinger
So that every time we have a meeting to see who has done the most good deeds, we can all stand up and sing our song.
Ryan Seacrest
And you made up the words already?
Henry Kissinger
Also the music.
Ryan Seacrest
When did you do that?
Henry Kissinger
Right after dinner, before you came over. Didn't take you long, but it was good anyhow. Do you want to hear the words?
Ryan Seacrest
No, thanks. I'm getting tired of your old club.
Henry Kissinger
Very well. I'll tell you the words.
Ryan Seacrest
Yes. I can't stop you.
Henry Kissinger
The words will surprise you, Cecil. They even surprised me, and I made them up.
Ryan Seacrest
Did they rhyme?
Henry Kissinger
Oh, yes. I had a hard time making some of them rhyme, though. It's in three verses.
Ryan Seacrest
And you made it up yourself? Yes.
Henry Kissinger
I think it was an inspiration.
Ryan Seacrest
I'll bet it was.
Henry Kissinger
Oh, wait a minute. I wrote them all down. Hope I can read them.
Ryan Seacrest
Can't you read your own writing?
Henry Kissinger
Not all the time. You see, I was inspired.
Ryan Seacrest
What are you going to call it?
Henry Kissinger
The Song of the Deed of Day. Here it is, right here.
Ryan Seacrest
All right, shoot.
Henry Kissinger
I stand on the hillside and face the sun.
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, wait a minute. You do what?
Henry Kissinger
Can't you understand English? I said, I stand on the hillside and face the sun.
Ryan Seacrest
But what are you doing on a hillside?
Henry Kissinger
Now, Cecil, don't start fast. Remember, this is a poem.
Ryan Seacrest
I thought it was a song.
Henry Kissinger
I stand on the hillside and face the sun the sunset sign that my day is done My day is done My day is done.
Ryan Seacrest
You said that three times.
Henry Kissinger
I know I did. That makes it so weird.
Ryan Seacrest
You're telling me.
Henry Kissinger
The darkness shall soon around me come for darkness comes when day is done when day is done when day is.
Ryan Seacrest
Done when day is done Shadows fall. Hey, that's a song.
Henry Kissinger
Oh, not the way I sing it. Then it goes on. But I shall not be afraid to go no, I say. No, no, no. I shall not be afraid to go A thousand times, no.
Ryan Seacrest
You're going up first. It was three. Now it's a thousand.
Henry Kissinger
Second verse. I shall not dare to die, I say For I belong to the deed of day Hooray.
Ryan Seacrest
Hooray. Hooray.
Henry Kissinger
No. As through life's fields of green we stray we cast good deeds upon our way and would we fail to help a foe No. A thousand times, no. Foe or friend. Friend or foe.
Ryan Seacrest
A thousand times.
Henry Kissinger
Now, now, Peto, please. Third verse.
Ryan Seacrest
Just go on and on.
Henry Kissinger
Third verse. We help by smiles and laughter Gay as we do Our daily d To day da day be to day we help the butcher, the baker and the miller We'd Even help a caterpillar? Lo, the lonely caterpillar.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, for a cat's sake, Sally, why a caterpillar?
Henry Kissinger
Well, I just put that in to show that we'd even stoop to help a poor little caterpillar.
Ryan Seacrest
You'd have to stoop to help a caterpillar.
Henry Kissinger
We'd help every living thing. Cecil. Now don't stop me again. For a butterfly is just a worm that nature did a very good turn. The lower high the higher low. Shall we help but a few?
Ryan Seacrest
No, no, no.
Henry Kissinger
A thousand trillion times no. So once again I wish to say long wave, the noble deed of day.
Ryan Seacrest
Is that all?
Henry Kissinger
Yes, I could improve on it a little.
Ryan Seacrest
No, that's a honey just like it is.
Henry Kissinger
Oh, Cecil, do you think so?
Ryan Seacrest
Thank you.
Henry Kissinger
Maybe I have a spark of genius.
Ryan Seacrest
You've got a spark towards missing then.
Henry Kissinger
Oh, but wait, I have to sing it for you. I made up the tune all by myself.
Ryan Seacrest
You made up the music too?
Henry Kissinger
Oh, it's beautiful. It goes like this. I stand on a hillside and face awesome the sun that my day is.
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. I recognize that it's. Oh say can you see by the john darling, it is a sea. It is too. Oh say can you see now see.
Henry Kissinger
Well, can I help it if somebody else writes a table song that sounds like mine?
Ryan Seacrest
Why don't you put it to the tune of Dixie? I stand on a hillside and face the sun, the sunset sun that my day is done look away, look away D today Hooray.
Henry Kissinger
All right, now you stop making fun of my club.
Ryan Seacrest
Remember I'm president A I'll glance at your phone.
Henry Kissinger
It isn't everybody that could make up the words and music both to a club song.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Henry Kissinger
Hello? Yes, this is Sally Smith. Yes, yes, I'm president of the D to day. Oh, you know all about it.
Ryan Seacrest
Who?
Henry Kissinger
Oh, Mrs. Garlander's the Society lady. Oh, hello Cecil. It's the big club woman.
Ryan Seacrest
That's all right, just so it isn't the dog faced boy.
Henry Kissinger
Oh, what did you say? Yes, yes. Oh, but I never did before. Oh, well, yes, all right, I will tomorrow.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Henry Kissinger
Oh well, thank you very much. All right, goodbye.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, Sito, what's happened?
Henry Kissinger
Cecil? Oh my goodness, I can't breathe.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, oh, oh, come on, what is it?
Henry Kissinger
Well, that was Mrs. Guy Landis. She said that her friend told her about our new club and she'd like to help us get started.
Ryan Seacrest
Huh? She means she'd like to get her name in the papers some more.
Henry Kissinger
She says that I'm to make a speech over the radio about our D To Day Club for girls.
Ryan Seacrest
You're to make a speech over the radio?
Henry Kissinger
She puts somebody on every week to talk about things. And she's going to let me do it tomorrow night. Oh, I'm so excited.
Ryan Seacrest
You can't make a speech.
Henry Kissinger
I can too. She has a bad cold and she wants me to tell a dear Bass radio audience about the D To Day Club.
Ryan Seacrest
How many times do you have to mention her name?
Henry Kissinger
Only once. And she's going to send her car to get me tomorrow night. You'll be scared to death I'm famous, Esau. Oh, I have nothing to live for now.
Ryan Seacrest
Shall I go up the radio station with you?
Henry Kissinger
Well, I. No, no. You stay home and tell me how good I am.
Ryan Seacrest
And they're going to take you up there.
Henry Kissinger
Yes, and it's all due to that lovely lady that we wanted to help down the street.
Ryan Seacrest
She told her friend Mrs. Lannis about your club, huh?
Henry Kissinger
Yes. It all goes to prove that good deeds are all repaid. Cecil. If you do a good deed, maybe some rich lady would let you talk over the radio too. What would you do if you were me? Sing my song over the radio or write a speech? Guess. Better write a speech and tell everybody about the good work a beautiful Dee dea is doing, huh? You won't forget to listen on the radio for me, will you, Seesaw? I want you to hear me.
Ryan Seacrest
You'll be famous if you don't watch out. Sally and happy days are here again the skies above are clear again let's sing the song. Happy days are here again. You've been listening to Cecil and Sally from the year 1932. And now Uncle Ed's magnificent time machine moves us Forward in time seven years later to the year 1939. And all strong, able bodied boys in the United States are tuned very carefully to the Lone Ranger. A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty hi O Silver. The Lone Ranger. Sam. The hearty cry of High O Silver has echoed through the years from the wild and untamed west of yesterday. It has acted as a symbol of courage for the oppressed, a challenge to the lawless. Let us return to the west of old and thrilled to another of the Lone Ranger stories. Featuring the most picturesque and colorful character ever to ride the plains and prairies. As our drama begins, we see the masked rider of justice urging his great horse Silver down the trail leading to the town of Osage. Listen to those flying Silver shot Hoops. The Lone Ranger rides again. Come on. Come on, boy. Only a short time distance left. The COVID sh was waiting for us at the end of the trail. Many stories had reached the people of Oage about the Brugin brothers, two of the worst outlaws in the West. But little did they suspect that the notorious killers were seated in one corner of the room in the cafe where a number of men line the long bar talking about them. Let us move to that corner table and meet Dan and Paul Brugin as they discuss their plans for the evening. It'll be a sense to get away with the cash. Neosage bank, Paul. There ain't but one man there and he's too slow to beat anyone with a draw. I'm with you, Dan. Only I still sit. Ain't no use taking chances. Still hanger to shoot the banker, huh? Why not? Well, he ain't never hurt us none. He ain't never had the chance to hurt us. Let him get a look at our faces and we're done for. Maybe the reason we're still free is because we never let ourselves be seen. You're the boss, Paul. What you say goes? I say we're fools to take chances on being recognized. All right, shoot the banker then. Then if ever we do get caught, we'll swing anyhow. What? One more murder added to all we got behind us. What about this hiding place you mentioned? It's a hum day. How far? Two hours. Right. Good. How's the ground between here and there? No grass or nothing. This old trail then we can get to the hiding place without being followed? Easy. How long can we stay there? As long as we want. Stay there? We feel it's safe to move on somewheres else. Good. I'll toss off that drink. Let's get started. We got some banking business. It needs tendency. Missouri. It rankles me to be so flat broke. Don't rankle you no more than it does me, Sleepy. Here's the two of us, stove in old fashioned critters. That ain't worth a dime to no man. No. When I think of all the cash we UN's had a while back. And now. Hey there, you two old mavericks. Meaning us, bartender. Meaning you, Ms. Order. You and Sleepy step up here and let me have your order. Well, it be Sleepy. Oh, I. I reckon I ain't drinking no more. Come on. We both ain't drinking. Bartender. Oh, I savvy. Busted a fat broken. Well, you were warned when you had that silver mine that your luck mightn't hold out. Forever. I ain't complaining. We had plenty of fun while our claim was good. Now it's petered out and we're broke. Ain't complaining, but you ain't drinking either. Now come on gents, it's on the house. Well, maybe it's soon. To have some chug dog gone, some grub would taste right good and step right it is. Ryan Seacrest here. There was a recent social media trend which consisted of flying on a plane with no music, no movies, no entertainment. 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Not unless you call giving away every time dime you got from your silver mine something. Well, dead red of the two of you made things easier for every poor family in the county. Now get yourself back to the kitchen and fill up after the sour dough we've been living on. Some real food might spile us, Ronnie. Now wait a minute, Barky. Does that invite include a friend of ours? Hey, this engine looks hard up and down on his luck. Come on, engine. You look like you could pack away some hot grub. Me not hungry. Oh, he ain't. Me got plenty food. Reckon he means it, Missouri. Come on, let's put on the feed bag. I'm gosh awful hungry. Yeah, turned old fools, that's what they are. Oh, them Missouri and Sleepy, that's what they're called. They just can't bear to see anyone in hard luck. Oh, they thought you was up a gin it and was willing to share a meal with you. They been the same with every pilgrim and Stray hound dog. They ever seen them good fell. It's a darn shame that silver mine run out. They deserve to have things easy. More than any men I ever knowed about. Where they're mine? Off north at somewheres. By thunder, them two will eat free of charge as long as I got grub and a place to cook it. It's their pride that makes it so hard to do things for them. Come on boys. It's the bank. It's being robbed. Hey, who robbed it? When did it happen? What was the shooting? Anybody hurt? Let's go. I bet it's the Broken. How many of them was there? Two men's on it. They shot the banker. Where'd they go? Anybody see him? Anybody else hurts beside the banker? Wait there boys. Let me through, Sheriff. Old man Lifter's been shot down. Anybody see it? Who done it? Did they get away with money? They cleaned out the bank. I seen the two of them riding away like old Kid out which waved the head over y that way. Missouri, the bank's been robbed. Our old fell's been here shut down. Dog on it. Why in blazes has it got to be outlaws like them Brogans? What was that you said, Missouri? I said it's the Broken Sheriff. How'd you know? It's their style of job. Missouri's right. The Brokens done it. Nobody else would be honor enough to drill a man just out of pure cussedness. There wasn't no reason to shoot the banker. He couldn't have heard him. Forget men and horses. Call in the deputies. We got to start a posse. We're going to run them Brugans down. That was the last thing we ever do. You're sure it's the Brogan, Sheriff? I'm a to bet on it. If it ain't, we'll find out who it is. I've been expecting them Brutons to show up here most anytime now. Remember boys, there's plenty of reward money for those who get them. Come on now. Get going. Sheriff, we aimed right along with you. Not you sleepy. Who says we can't miss Early? You and sleepier old men. Oh, dad. Ra it. That ain't no way to talk to able bodied men like us. Men that go out after the Brugin's got to be hard riding fast shooting mavericks. And you mean to say we can't ride after them ornery coyotes? The banker's a friend of ours. We want to help in running these killers down. I'm taking the men I feel are best Suited for the job. You two have done enough for this community. Come on boys, let's get started. Too old Sleepy. By thunder. We weren't too old to help the sheriff's wife when she needed cash while the sheriff was out manhunting. What matters? Oh, it's the Injun. Me name Tondo. Dad, let it. I wish you could be riding with them men, Injun. There ain't nobody but an Injun or a bloodhound could follow the trail of them Brugans. They just don't leave a trail. Broken color killing man, huh? Ain't only that Injun. The man that was shot was our friend. Yeah, and the sheriff won't let us go gunning for the rats. A gun. It maybe me helping you. Oh, how can you help us? Injustice. Say, maybe the three of us could go out trailing, eh? No, you stay here. Blast it. We don't want to stay here. We want to get them Grogans. What's more, we can use that reward money. There's over $2,000 in rewards for the capture of them coyotes. And every man in town has a chance to get a crack at that reward. But us Sleepy, no matter what the sheriff says, me and you are going in hunting. Maybe Tonto help him. Here. White fell. Hey Engine, is that your horse? Go Fish hooks. What a critter that is. Tonto ride him plenty fast. You wait. Maybe me come back soon. Hold on, Tonto. Ain't you taking us along with you? Get him a pipe. For for two weeks the sheriff's men scoured the country without finding any trail of the two brogans. Old Sleepy in Missouri also did some man hunting, wondering meanwhile where Tondo the Indian had gone. We find the tired old men in their humble shack, discouraged at their futile efforts to get capture the desperate outlaws. No, it ain't no use trying to think otherwise, Missouri. We just ain't good for nothing no more. Can't even run down a couple outlaw killers like the Brugans. Dad. Rabbit sleepy. We are getting old and hungry. Dog gone it, Missouri. I'd give a lot for a good man sized meal again. We might sort of drift over to the cafe. Yeah, and get a free handout. No thanks. I'd sooner starve than take charity. If we was 30 years or so younger, we might have a chance of running down them Rugens. But now come on in. I'm looking for two men known as Sleepy in Missouri. Well, you got the right man, stranger. What's on your mind? You own a silver mine, don't you? Yeah, but all the is to it now is big tunnel. It petered out. What makes you think it petered out? Kind of. It ain't no good no more. That's why you're from east, ain't ya? I know something about mine. Mine? An expire day. Well, you don't know much about ours. He wouldn't take the trouble of calling on us. Did you tell an Indian about your mind injured? Yeah, we did, stranger. Remember Missouri that Redskill called a Chu Tonto? Yeah, that's so. The Indian knows about your mine. And I heard him making certain plans concerning it. What sort of plan? I was led to believe that a new vein had been found in that tunnel of your. Yeah, dog on it. No swarm. You reckon that Indian's gone there and found a new vein of silver? It might be well for you two to hurry over there and investigate it. By thunderation. If anyone has tried to jump our train, it remains abandoned. You can't expect people to stay away from there. What's your interest in this stranger? Are you from one of the big companies aiming to buy up our silver mine? I wouldn't buy it unless it proved worthwhile. Wouldn't do no harm to drift over that way, Sleepy. Why not? We can starve there just was the kin here. Do you have any mining supplies left? Yeah, some. We got digging tools, the mite of blasting powder. Then I'd advise you to investigate that mine as quickly as you can. It might be worth your while. The next day, Sleepy and Missouri headed toward their old abandoned mine. As they trudged along the rocky trail, it was easy to see that Sleepy was still very skeptical over the prospects of finding silver orb. I don't know about this, Missouri. Just don't seem to make sense. What don't? Taking time to go up here and look at that no good mine of ours. We made sure there weren't no more veins there. Maybe we didn't look careful enough. It's getting toward dark now anyway. We can't go inside till morning. Well, we can wait around outside. There's plenty of places to camp right around here. I know. We'd be blame fools to turn back now. Sleepy. There's a tunnel inside already. Yeah, but I ain't counting on ever seeing silver in that old tunnel again. Take a look at it there. Don't it look downright ugly? Time was when we thought it looked pretty fine. Yeah. Say Missouri, let's what? Sir? That sounded like a gunshot. Thunder ration. Who'd be popping at us here? Hi. That hit the Dirt right near us. Where'd it come from? Same to find o hit the ground. Jad Radish, you fat in your summer. Right. Play dead for a second. Here, edge over this way. We can get us some protection behind that rock. Ain't no use shooting back. We can't see nothing to shoot at. I'll get back here. That second shot come close? Too close for comfort, Missoura. Them shots come from the direction of the tunnel? Reckon so. But the direction don't matter none if they hit you. The pint is it proves one thing. Yeah? Someone aims to keep us from that silver mine. And if someone wants to keep us from it, then dog gun it. That's a sure sign there's something worthwhile there. Darn if there ain't. Well, we might find something if we don't get shot first. Come on, let's take a chance. The curtain falls on the first act of our Lone Ranger drama before the next exciting scenes. Please permit us to pause for just a few moments. Sam. Now to continue our drama. You will recall the two old prospectors, Sleepy and Missouri, were on their way to an abandoned silver mine. When they were a short distance away from it, several shots were fired at them. Immediately they became certain the mine was worth investigating. The next morning, the Lone Ranger and his faithful Indian companion, Tonto, were looking over the grounds not far from the entrance of the mine. The masked man is the first to speak. So Sleepy in Missouri spent the night in hiding. That's right. You heard them say that they were determined to investigate the mine. Ah, them think you fellar from east. I know they do, Tanto. When I called on them, I went disguised as an Easterner. Not plenty good. They thought I was a mining expert, willing perhaps to buy their claim if they would prove that it was worthwhile. You show old feller that I think they'll find it worth the trouble of investigating. Tanto, remember, I am counting on you, Tonto. Got plenty hole drill in mine. Have you filled the holes with powder? Not right. And the fuses are all ready to be lighted. We want to make sure that when the two old prospectors do what I'm going to suggest, an explosion does just what we want it to do. Mmm. I'm going to see them, Tato. And in about an hour, you'll be able to light the fuses and set off the charge. Tanto, keep close watch. Missouri and Sleepy might need some help. Them get plenty help here, Silva. It's pretty early in the morning, but the sooner those two get started, the Better by night, I hope. They'll find themselves rich men again. Them good cover. That's the reason I want to help them if it's possible. Yep. I'll head for their camp now. Come on, Silver. Oh, by ginger, sleeping outdoors makes me stiff as a pine board. Sleepy. Me too. Get yourself up. Move around Little Missouri. Then you'll be all right. You've been up for long? Just a couple of minutes. We got a lot of work to do today. We sure enough have. We're gonna get our mind back and see if there ain't some silver to be found in there. Hey, ain't that a horse coming this way? Sounds right. Maybe that's the critter that's holding possession of our mind. Oh, that's over. Okay. He's masked. What the sam hill? Up your hands, mister. We ain't to talk to you. Put your guns down, men. I'm here as a friend of yours. But your mask, dad. Rabbit. What's the big idea? That you men are heading for certain death if you think you can walk into that mine and take possession of it. Oh, so you come from there to give us a warning, eh? Well, we're a couple old galoots. But by ginger, what's ours is ours, and we're going to fight for it. You won't have a chance. Fighting? Who says we won't? Just you and your pards over yonder. Try and stop us, mister. I'm not with the men over yonder. I came to tell you one way you could outwit them. Yeah? What's your interest in a couple old critters like us, mister? The men inside that tunnel will be hidden from you, but you will make easy targets for them. We'll take our chances. You have some blasting powder here, haven't you? Yeah, what of it? Fix some of it in a bundle and attach a piece of fuse. Yeah. Then get as close to the mouth of the tunnel as you can, light the fuse and throw the bundle into the tunnel. What's that for? The blast might fill the mouth and seal the men inside it. The only way they could escape would be by the air shaft at the rear. If you were at the outside of that shaft, you could make them surrender to you. No, that wouldn't work, mister. Why, that air shaft's just straight holes like a chimbly goes straight up. Man couldn't climb out of there. My bar's right, mister. You can let a rope down and haul them out. That would be the best way to capture them and make them Stand trial for stealing your silver. Dan Reddit. You talk like there was silver in there. Didn't you come here to get it? But we look here. Who incarnation are you anyhow? I came here as a friend to help you get Ryan Seacrest here. When you have a busy schedule, it's important to maximize your downtime. One of the best ways to do that is by going to chumbacasino.com Chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino games like spin slots, bingo and solitaire that you can play for free for a chance to redeem some serious prizes. So hop on to chumbacasino.com now and live the Chumba life. Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary VGW Group Void where prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. Trip Planner by Expedia. You were made to have strong opinions about sand. We were made to help you and your friends find a place on the beach with a pool and a marina and a waterfall and a soaking tub. Expedia made to travel. The men who have taken possession of your silver mine. Perhaps their enemies are mine as well as yours. I begin to savvy they done you all your share of some delay. You can think what you please. You figured to get even with them by having us taken prisoners, ain't that it? Perhaps it is. Take the plan or leave it, whichever you like. I've given it to you for what it's worth. Why didn't you try that plan yourself? You're so dead sort on seeing whoever's inside our tunnel captured. You think I could take them to trial? They haven't taken possession of my mind, by thunder. That's right, Missouri. It's our property they've taken, ain't it? We're the ones that have to take them to the judge. Furthermore, you have blasting powder I don't have. Yeah, that's so. I'm for trying this stranger's idea. Sleepy? Maybe you are not raw, mister, with that mask on your face. But I like the style of your talk. If you are for it part, then I'm for it too. We'll probably get our heads blowed off, but then that'll keep us from getting hungry again. Come on. Missouri and his partner went about the task of attaching the fuse. The Lone Ranger slipped quietly away, permitting the two old prospectors to believe that he was an outlaw. When they had the powder and fuse ready, the men crept to a spot a few yards away from the tunnel entrance. Got that fuse fixed right, Missouri? Yeah, it's powerful short, but I reckon it'll do. Which one of us better do the throw in, Missouri? No, no. We've got to do it from here, though, or we'll be seen. Got a light? Yeah. Careful with it. I know how to do this. You better throw it, Missouri. We got to make a land in the side of the hills just above the tunnel entrance. Leave it to me. Here goes the match. Now for it. Hold her steady while I like that blasted fuse. Yeah. There, she's catching. Through it quick. There she goes. Fall flat down on the ground. I'm down now. Hold your ears. Did it hit right? I. I don't think so. Yeah, it did. Look, the entrance is cold. We got him trapped. Hit it right square. You're done just swell, Missouri. We sure blocked the tunnel that time. All right, Sleepy. We're heading for the air shaft atop the hill. And when we get there, we'll sit and wait till them coyotes get good and tired of worrying about getting leapy and Missouri scrambled up the side of the hill to the air shaft and waited there for quite some time. They didn't know that while they were watching the opening, Tonto was racing toward the town to bring the sheriff and his men. Finally, Sleepy said, I reckon we can try and help them coyotes now, Missouri. Yep. I'll try and talk to them. Hey, down there. We got you covered. And if you want to come out alive, you better surrender. Wonder if they can hear you. Hey, you. You can't get out, man, unless we haul you out with a rope. So you better surrender or we'll leave you to starve. Gosh, I hope we ain't killed them with that blast. Ah, they're down there all right. I hear them moving around a couple of times. You fellas coming up? Are you going to make us drop some blasting powder down this hole? By ginger, Missouri, we catch them all right now. We can take them in to sand trial, then come back and see what they've been stealing from our silver mine. Hand me that rope, Sleepy. I'll take more time to get you thieving coyotes out of there. I'll drop down a rope and you tie your guns to it first. When we get your guns, here's a rope coming down. Tie your guns on it and be quick. Can't know you taking chances with him. Sleep, you know. All right, hold up here. I'll give you a hand. Yeah. Come on, man. Yes, sir. There we are. Untie the gun, Sleepy. Put that rope down again. She's a coming. But remember, we'll drill you critters if you try any tricks on us, grab a hold now and we'll haul you up. Wait till I get a hold, Missouri. There now. Don't let her slip now. My bro. My part still down there. Well, we'll get him out pronto. Now you stand by and don't try nothing. Yeah. You ain't gonna drill me? Not if you behave. All we want is for you to take us back into the silver mine and tell us where the new vein's at. Vain. Hey, you hold the gun on him. Sleepy. Stand still there till we get your part out. Grab old fan. Come on out. How many of you is there? Just two of us. Yeah. Give us a hand in hauling your part out these holes. Take it easy. I hope we found silver in there. And all they want is a mine. They don't know us. Gosh, we're downright sorry. Losing your mind, gents. And we now you blame old fool. Stick them up. That's it. He's got another gun. So you didn't know, sir. It's about time you met the boy. The Brugin brothers. Holy mackerel. The Brugan. The Brugins is right. We ain't letting you go back and tell the sheriff you found us. It'd be a downright disgrace to be catched by a couple stovey and old fools like you two. Let's drill them and toss them down in there. Now look here, Brogan ynery killing skunk. We ain't done nothing to you. We didn't figure you was the Brogans. We figured you was just couple ombre that found silver in our minds. Silver. All that holds good pur hiding. And I reckon it'll hide you two from now till doomsday. I doubt that. Why the mask, man? Look out my hand. If you force me to platter again, I'll do more than shoot your guns away, stranger. These are the Brugans. There's a reward out for them. I know that. And you got them. No, you two men got them. You see, T managed to trail them to the tunnel. But he wanted you to make the capture. And he didn't want you killed while doing it. Keep them covered. Now. The sheriff and his posse are coming to help you. But how the sheriff know I'll kill you for this, mister. If it takes you killing. Days are over, bro. If you raise a hand against the mask man. Then I won't wait for the sheriff to come. I'll deal with you right here and now. I happen to find out how much good you did. With the money from your silver mine, you helped a lot of people. And it's about time someone helped you. You saved our lives. That's why. What you done, mister? I told you there might be silver. In your mind there is. But not as you thought. The rewards that are standing for the capture of these two men will amount to quite a sum here. It ain't us, Sheriff. It's that mask man. He told us there was men here, here. And he told us how to trap him. Use the boys holding the guns on them coyotes. Rope them in and let's get them into town. At last we got the brans and the laugh's on you, Sheriff. You said old Sleepy and Missouri weren't fit to travel with a par. Well, I'm doggone glad they didn't. The posse didn't get no place but Missouri and Sleepy sure enough did. Get them critters herded and back to town now, boys. Make it fast. But the rewards. There's the man that's entitled to them, Sheriff. Well, looks like he wasn't interested in no reward. Missouri Rabbit. There's things I don't savvy about this, Sheriff. Me too. I wonder if it ain't that masked man fire the shots that made us figure someone was inside that tunnel in the city. With that there blasting powder. It landed a long ways from where it was supposed to land. And yet when it went off, the explosion was right above the tunnel where it do the most good. There's lots that needs explaining. Yeah, Sleepy. That mine want no good. And the masked man knowed it. All he wanted was for us to capture the two bruins so we'd get that reward money. And thanks to him, we don't never have to worry about food and search again. It Sam. The story you have just heard is a copyrighted feature of the Lone Ranger Incorporated. Well, there you have it, partners. That was the Lone Ranger from 1938. He was a great friend of mine and I respected him very much, as I'm sure you do. Well, that's all I have for now. I'm going to turn this over to my good friend Ed Bolton. He was vocalist for Wayne King and his orchestra. And I want you to hear something that you're going to really enjoy. Here's Ed Bolton singing I'm Sitting on Top of the World with Wayne King and his orchestra. You're going to hear Wayne King introducing him in concert. Thank you very much. For a young man, I want you to meet a young man who is a star. Here's a little Star. Someday it's going to cost us a lot of money to go and hear this guy sing. There's going to be some time when I walk in someplace and ask if I can get the scene. He won't let me get in. I've got to talk to him anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, he's worth it and I want him. So don't tell him he's too good. I'll tell him that and then I'll say he can't get a raise at the same time. But I like him and he can have what he wants. His name is Ed Bolton. Here he is. I'm sitting on top of the world Just rolling along Just rolling along and I'm quitting the blues of the world Just singing a song Just singing a song Glory hallelujah I just phoned the parson hey Par, get ready to call Just like Humpty Dumpty I'm going to fall and I'm sitting on top of the world Just rolling along Just rolling along and I'm sitting on top of the world Just rolling along Just rolling along and I'm quitting the blues of the world Just singing a song Just singing a song Glory hallelujah I just phoned the parson with a parking ready to call Just like Humpty Jumpy I'm going to fall and I'm sitting on top of the world Just rolling along Just rolling along there's my gal a beautiful sight I think there's lovely air tonight and I'm sittin on top of the world and with the singing of I'm Sitting on Top of the world a 1926 hit. This is Ed Bolton saying so long for now from Uncle Ed's Magnificent Time Machine. You must remember this. A kiss is still a kiss A sigh is just a sigh the fundamental things apply as time goes by and when two lovers woo they still say I love you. Hello, it is Ryan. And I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on chumbacasino.com. i looked over the person sitting next to me and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba Casino. Coincidence? I think not. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino is home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free anytime, anywhere, even at 30,000ft. So sign up now@chumbacasino.com to claim your free welcome bonus. That's chumbacasino.com and live the Chumba life. No purchase necessary VGW rule void where prohibited by law. See terms and conditions. 18/ packages by Expedia. You were made to be rechargeable. We were made to package flights, hotels and hammocks for less. Expedia made to travel.
Podcast Summary: Uncle Ed's Magnificent Time Machine 19xx.xx.xx Show 03
Podcast Information:
Uncle Ed's Magnificent Time Machine embarks on another journey through the annals of radio history, offering listeners a vivid recreation of classic radio shows that once captivated families across America. The episode seamlessly blends humor, drama, and adventure, painting a picture of a bygone era where radio was the centerpiece of household entertainment.
Overview: The segment opens on March 22, 1928, capturing the bustling anticipation of American families tuning in at 7 PM to catch the latest episode of Amos and Andy, a cornerstone of radio comedy during its time. The show centers around the comedic misadventures of Amos and Andy as they navigate life's challenges with humor and heart.
Plot Summary: Amos and Andy, two inseparable friends, dream of moving to Chicago in search of better opportunities. The episode portrays their spirited attempts to save enough money for train fare, which is set at $26.72 each—a substantial sum for the time.
Notable Moments & Quotes:
Financial Miscalculations:
Dreams of Prosperity:
Cultural Context: Amos and Andy was pioneering in its portrayal of African American characters, albeit through stereotypical lenses that today are recognized as controversial. This episode showcases the show's role in shaping early radio comedy, blending humor with social commentary, albeit in ways reflective of its time.
Listener Insight: Uncle Ed provides contextual commentary, emphasizing the show's popularity and its widespread appeal, noting how it commanded larger audiences than any preceding or subsequent programs. He remarks on the communal aspect of radio listening, where even department stores and theaters would broadcast the show to ensure no listener missed an episode.
Overview: Fast-forwarding to April 29, 1932, Uncle Ed introduces Cecil and Sally, recognized as one of the first radio soap operas. This program delves into the lives of its protagonists as they navigate interpersonal dynamics and community involvement through their D to Day Club.
Plot Summary: The episode revolves around Cecil and Sally Smith, members of the D to Day Club, an organization dedicated to performing good deeds. The narrative unfolds with their interaction over a failed attempt by Sally to assist a lady in need, which inadvertently leads to unexpected assistance from a wealthy benefactor, Mrs. Guy Landis.
Notable Moments & Quotes:
Club Initiatives:
Song Creation:
Mrs. Landis' Support:
Character Dynamics: The interactions between Cecil and Sally, along with other characters like Mrs. Landis, portray the collaborative and sometimes comical efforts of community members striving to make a positive impact. The dialogues reveal their commitment despite occasional setbacks and misunderstandings.
Cultural Significance: Cecil and Sally exemplifies the early development of serialized storytelling in radio, laying the foundation for future soap operas. It reflects societal values of the time, emphasizing community service and the importance of organized efforts to foster goodwill.
Listener Insight: Uncle Ed highlights the charm of early soap operas, noting their role in pioneering serialized drama on the airwaves. He appreciates the show's ability to weave relatable community issues into engaging narratives, fostering a sense of connection among listeners.
Overview: Advancing seven years to 1939, the episode delves into the thrilling adventures of The Lone Ranger, a legend of Western radio drama. This segment captures the essence of heroism, justice, and the enduring fight against lawlessness in the untamed West.
Plot Summary: The narrative follows the Lone Ranger and his loyal companion, Tonto, as they confront the notorious Brugin brothers—two ruthless outlaws plotting to rob the Osage bank. The story intricately weaves action, suspense, and moral dilemmas, culminating in a dramatic showdown.
Notable Moments & Quotes:
Introduction of the Brugin Brothers:
Confrontation and Strategy:
Lone Ranger's Intervention:
Climactic Revelation:
Character Dynamics: The segment intricately develops the relationships between characters like Missouri, Sleepy, and the Lone Ranger, each embodying traits of bravery, resilience, and moral integrity. The dialogue-driven interactions delve into their motivations and interpersonal conflicts, adding depth to the narrative.
Cultural Significance: The Lone Ranger stands as a seminal work in Western radio drama, encapsulating the ideals of heroism and justice that defined the genre. It played a crucial role in shaping American folklore, influencing subsequent media portrayals of the lone hero archetype.
Listener Insight: Uncle Ed emphasizes the enduring appeal of Western dramas, noting how The Lone Ranger captivated audiences with its blend of action, moral clarity, and the allure of the untamed frontier. He reflects on the show's ability to resonate across generations, maintaining its relevance through timeless storytelling.
Uncle Ed's Magnificent Time Machine masterfully transports listeners through pivotal moments in radio history, offering a nostalgic yet insightful exploration of influential programs from the Golden Age of Radio. By revisiting Amos and Andy, Cecil and Sally, and The Lone Ranger, the episode underscores the evolution of radio entertainment—from comedic escapades and serialized dramas to heroic adventures.
Key Takeaways:
Notable Quotes:
Final Thoughts: Uncle Ed's episode serves as both an educational and entertaining journey, celebrating the rich tapestry of old-time radio. It invites listeners to appreciate the craftsmanship and creativity that made these programs beloved staples of their era, while also prompting reflection on the evolution of entertainment mediums over the decades.
Note: Portions of the transcript included advertisements for Chumba Casino and Expedia, which are seamlessly integrated into the narrative. As per the summary guidelines, these ads have been excluded to maintain focus on the core content of the radio programs.