Up The Pole 1948-11-01 First Show

Summary

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Podcast Summary: "Up The Pole" 1948-11-01 – First Show

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Original Broadcast Date: November 1, 1948
Covered By Podcast on: November 9, 2025
Episode Theme:
This episode presents the very first broadcast of “Up The Pole,” a classic British radio comedy featuring Jimmy Jewel, Ben Warriss, Betty Paul, Claude Dampier, John Pertwee, and others. Set just after WWII and blending slapstick, witty banter, and farcical scenarios, this episode delivers “Golden Age” entertainment with a story of madcap schemes and romantic mishaps.

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Main Theme & Premise

“Up The Pole” opens with protagonists Jimmy and Ben settling into their new living quarters—a makeshift apartment above an abandoned fire station—where they confront daily mishaps and romantic dilemmas. The central plot revolves around Jimmy’s attempts to impress Betty with a lavish birthday present, setting off a chain of humorous misunderstandings and get-rich-quick dreams.

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Key Discussion Points and Segments

1. Introduction & Setting the Scene

[00:30 – 01:35]

• The narrator introduces the cast and setting: Jimmy and Ben now reside above a disused fire station, providing a quirky backdrop for their comic adventures.
• Jimmy is found in the bathroom, starting his day with loud gargling, setting the lighthearted tone.

Notable quote:
“Oh, welcome to you all, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, sweet ladies and gentlemen… Well, that’s better out than in, isn’t it?”
— Jimmy Jewel ([01:54])

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2. Jimmy’s Romantic Predicament

[02:17 – 03:26]

• Ben questions Jimmy about why he’s getting dressed up, teasing out the true reason: Betty is visiting.
• Jimmy, bashful about his feelings, wishes he were more like a glamorous film star to impress her.
• Their banter highlights a blend of British self-deprecating humor and classic buddy comedy.

Notable exchange:
“I wish I was more the kind of man she admires, really. I wish I were a film star.”
— Jimmy Jewel ([02:59])
“Don’t you realize that one day you’re kissing Betty Grable, Lana Turner… the next day you’re just a has been.”
— Ben Warren ([03:09])

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3. Betty’s Request (Birthday Gift Mischief)

[03:41 – 06:22]

• Betty arrives. Jimmy awkwardly tries to ask what she might want for her birthday.
• Ultimately, Betty requests a ring she’s seen in a jeweler’s window—priced improbably at £50, a sum far outside Jimmy’s means.
• Humorous panic ensues as Jimmy realizes the gift’s cost, but pride and affection drive him to promise to deliver it regardless.

Notable quote:
“Oh, Jimmy, where did you learn to kiss like that?”
— Betty Paul ([05:35])
“Siphoning petrol.”
— Ben Warren ([05:40])

Memorable moment:
Betty flirtatiously rewards Jimmy with a kiss after his promise, only for the conversation to spiral as the astronomical price is revealed.

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4. Get-Rich-Quick Schemes & Burpee’s Arrival

[06:22 – 08:16]

• Ben and Jimmy scramble for ideas on raising £50.
• Burpee enters with a classic tall tale of “currency larks” scampering across Europe with foreign exchange, ending with his “reward”—six months in jail.
  Notable quote:
  “You know what they gave me when I got back to England now? What? Six months.”
  — Burpee & Jimmy ([07:35])
• Burpee offers them a new get-rich-quick hope: entering the “help yourself football pool.”
• Jimmy’s dreams inflate—maybe he’ll win £50,000 and buy Betty anything she wants.

Memorable comic progression:

• Jimmy signing up enthusiastically for a football pool, thinking he’s already won the jackpot before the coupon’s even mailed.

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5. Classic British Banter & Farcical Escalation

[Through ~08:42]

• The structure of the dialogue, quick-witted exchanges, and escalating absurdity encapsulate the era's radio comedy style.
• Supporting characters like Betty (and the unseen but referenced Roderick Forge Bellows) heighten both the social rivalry and Jimmy’s anxiety.

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• “Well, I wish you’d come out of the bathroom, James. You know you’ve been in there for hours.”
  — Ben Warren ([02:17])
• “At such a time I feel that the time has come for it to be the right time for the time. What is the time, Ben?”
  — Jimmy Jewel ([04:07])
• “If you don’t get the ring for Betty, her cousin Roderick will.”
  — Ben Warren ([06:32])
• “First of all, I took me £35 of English money over to France. And they give me 40,000 French frogs...”
  — Burpee ([07:18])
• “Now go on, give me the £50,000.”
  — Jimmy Jewel ([08:31])

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Tone & Style

The episode relies on rapid-fire wordplay, gentle ribbing, and farcical situations, all marked by the camaraderie and rivalry between characters. Despite being over 75 years old, its self-aware, absurd humor and lighthearted treatment of daily struggles retain their charm for modern audiences.

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [00:30–01:35] – Show introduction, setting, and cast
• [02:17–03:26] – Jimmy’s bashfulness about Betty
• [03:41–06:22] – Betty’s birthday ring request and comic repercussions
• [06:22–07:47] – Burpee’s arrival and “currency lark” tall tale
• [07:47–08:42] – Football pool scheme and comic escalation

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In Summary

The broadcast provides a delightful snapshot of post-war British entertainment, full of whimsy, sharp repartee, and heart. “Up The Pole” brings together a lovable cast caught between grand dreams and comic adversity, epitomizing “Golden Age of Radio” comedy in both spirit and delivery.

Transcript

[Ben Warren]

And Doug. Here we have the Limu emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds. With Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[Burpee]

Limu. Is that guy with the binoculars watching us?

[Ben Warren]

Cut the camera. They see us.

[Burpee]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Liberty.

[Narrator]

Liberty.

[Burpee]

Liberty Savings vary unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates Excludes Massachusetts.

[Narrator]

Do you know what's in store for you for the next half an hour, ladies and gentlemen?

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, you'll never guess. Up the pole.

[Narrator]

Yes, it's the first in a new series of adventures with Claude Dampier, John Pertwee, Betty Paul, Roger Snowden, the five Smith brothers, Stanley Black in the orchestra, and of course, that crazy couple, Jimmy Jewel and Ben Warren. Since we last heard from our two heroes, they've moved into an apartment over a disused fire station. And our story begins there, one brisk morning in early autumn. Jimmy is cleaning his teeth.

[Ben Warren]

All right, all right, all right. Stop gargling. That'll be quite enough of that noise, James.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, will I?

[Ben Warren]

Of course it will. That's no way. That is no way to say hello to the ladies and gentlemen. Of course not. If you're going to sing at all, if you're going to sing at all, you should sing a little song like this.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, welcome to you all, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen Sweet ladies and gentlemen Sweet ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to you all. Well, that's better out than in, isn't it?

[Ben Warren]

Well, I wish you'd come out of the bathroom, James. You know you've been in there for hours.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Come on.

[Ben Warren]

Yes, and tell me, why are you getting all dressed up this morning?

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, I don't like to tell you.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, go on.

[Jimmy Jewel]

No, I'm shy.

[Ben Warren]

Go on, tell Benny. What? I know, I know.

[Jimmy Jewel]

I shan't tell you. I shall tell you.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, yes, you will.

[Jimmy Jewel]

No more, no more.

[Ben Warren]

I've guessed it. It's something to do with Betty.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, you're so clever, Ben. Go to the top of the class. She's calling round to see me this morning.

[Ben Warren]

You mean to say you've asked a pretty young girl like Betty round to this dirty old fire station?

[Jimmy Jewel]

Yes. It's her birthday on Saturday and I want to find out what she liked for the presents of air.

[Ben Warren]

Well, listen, why don't you ask her yourself?

[Jimmy Jewel]

I can't. Then why not you ask her?

[Ben Warren]

Oh, no, no.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Every time I see Betty, I go all to pieces.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, you don't?

[Jimmy Jewel]

I wish I was more the kind of man she Admires, Really? I wish I were a film star.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, it's not.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, so Robert Taylor.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, that's not all. Been wonderful being a film star.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Don't you love to me, Robert Taylor?

[Ben Warren]

Don't you realize that one day you're kissing Betty Grable, Lana Turner, Dorothy Moore, the next day you're just a has been.

[Jimmy Jewel]

But brother, just look where you has been.

[Ben Warren]

Hello? Someone at the door.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, it'll be better. It'll be better.

[Ben Warren]

Don't worry.

[Burpee]

Don't.

[Ben Warren]

I'll faint.

[Jimmy Jewel]

I'm going to faint. I'm going to faint.

[Ben Warren]

No, you're not.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Yeah, I can't stand it. I'm going to catch me.

[Ben Warren]

No, no.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, go and catch me. Oh, no. I want to be calm.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, stop it. Listen, I wish you'd stop larking about, Jimmy.

[Burpee]

Well, out the way.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Go on. Open the door, Ben.

[Burpee]

I will, I will.

[Betty Paul]

Hello, Ben.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, good. Good morning, Betty.

[Betty Paul]

Hello, Jimmy.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Hello, Betty. Won't you come? Come in.

[Betty Paul]

But I am in.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Yes, you are in. Aren't you in?

[Ben Warren]

Take a seat. Betty, darling, I think Jimmy wants to ask you something.

[Betty Paul]

Really, Jimmy?

[Jimmy Jewel]

Yes. You see, Betty, Saturday's your birthday.

[Betty Paul]

Yes.

[Jimmy Jewel]

At such a time I feel that the time has come for it to be the right time for the time. What is the time, Ben?

[Ben Warren]

10 o'.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Clock. Good gracious. No beds made. Well, I feel I'd like. That is, if you don't mind. Or you tell her, Ben.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, don't be silly. You tell her.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Well, I just want to tell you. I'd like to give you a little present, that's all. A little present.

[Betty Paul]

Oh, Jimmy Kim.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, she called me Jimmy Kim. Catch me again.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, stop larking about. I don't want Betty to know I'm living with an idiot.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Why not? She knows I'm living with one.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, shut up.

[Betty Paul]

Oh, it's most awfully sweet of you, Jimmy, to want to give me a present. But my cousin, Roderick Porch Bellows has bought me nearly everything I need.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Roderick Forge Bellows? What, that windbag?

[Betty Paul]

Oh, you mustn't say that, Jimmy. He thinks a lot of me and is the most generous man I know.

[Ben Warren]

Yes, but surely there's something Jimmy could get for you, Betty.

[Betty Paul]

Well, there's one little thing, but it's much too expensive for Jimmy to buy.

[Burpee]

Name it.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Name it.

[Ben Warren]

Just name it, that's all. You can have it.

[Jimmy Jewel]

I'll show Roderick Forge Bellows he's not the only man who knows how to treat a girl.

[Betty Paul]

Very well then. I'd like the ring. I've Seen in the jewelers down the road.

[Jimmy Jewel]

It shall be yours.

[Betty Paul]

Oh, Jimmy, I could kiss you for being so sweet.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Help yourself.

[Betty Paul]

Oh, Jimmy, where did you learn to kiss like that?

[Ben Warren]

Siphoning petrol.

[Betty Paul]

Well, I must be on my way now. Oh, thank you so much for promising to get me the ring. Jimmy, think nothing.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Think nothing of it. Think nothing of it. But how shall I know which ring it is?

[Betty Paul]

Oh, you can't miss it. It's in the middle window in a little Velvet case marked £50. Salong Ben.

[Ben Warren]

Cheer out.

[Betty Paul]

Goodbye, Jimmy Hughes. Sweet, sweet boy.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, she called me a sweet, sweet boy. Oh, I'm going to get her a ring. And it's in the middle window. And it's marked £50. It's marked £50, Ben. What? She said the ring was marked £50.

[Ben Warren]

Well, that's what I thought she said.

[Jimmy Jewel]

But I haven't got £50. I'm going to faint.

[Ben Warren]

Do you want to be caught?

[Jimmy Jewel]

Yes, I think I've been caught already.

[Ben Warren]

Well, if you don't get the ring for Betty, her cousin Roderick will.

[Jimmy Jewel]

No, I've just got to get that £50, even if it means selling everything I possess.

[Ben Warren]

Jimmy, that would still leave you £48, 10 shillings short. Hello? Maybe that's Betty back. Perhaps she left something behind.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Well, open the door quickly, Ben. She might have called to say she was only joking about the ring.

[Ben Warren]

Okay.

[Burpee]

Watch your mate, Burpee.

[Ben Warren]

Well, well, well, well.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Burpee.

[Ben Warren]

Fancy. See?

[Jimmy Jewel]

Yes. Where have you been doing all these months?

[Burpee]

Working? No, no, no. Only mugs work. I've been doing the old currency lark, you know, all around out.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, you mean in the bun factory?

[Burpee]

No, not that sort of currents. I mean the old do re me.

[Ben Warren]

Well, this sounds Very interesting, Mr. Burp. Did you. Did you do well?

[Burpee]

Oh, yes, I say I did.

[Ben Warren]

You did.

[Burpee]

First of all, I took me £35 of English money over to France.

[Ben Warren]

Yes?

[Burpee]

And they give me 40,000 French frogs.

[Ben Warren]

Go on, then. Go on.

[Burpee]

Yes, then I took me frogs over to Holland and they gave me 10,000 Dutch guilders.

[Jimmy Jewel]

That's good.

[Burpee]

Yes. And I took the guildies to Russia.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Did you?

[Burpee]

They gave me 50,000 rubles.

[Ben Warren]

Did they?

[Burpee]

Then I danced away all my rubles. You know what they gave me when I got back to England now? What? Six months. Poor old Burpee. Oh, well, never mind, mate. I've got a smashing job now, you know.

[Ben Warren]

Have you a smashing job now?

[Burpee]

Oh, I've got a smashing job.

[Ben Warren]

What is it?

[Burpee]

I'm an agent.

[Ben Warren]

An agent?

[Burpee]

Yes. An agent.

[Jimmy Jewel]

What, a 10 percenter that's it.

[Burpee]

No, no, no, I'm an agent for the help yourself football pool. I'm just calling around the houses, pick up some new clients. Wait a minute. How about, how about you two boys having a bash?

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh now, Burpee, I'm never lucky with football pools.

[Burpee]

Oh yeah, but listen mate, only last week with one of my fear nothing forecasts a bloke won 50,000 nicker.

[Jimmy Jewel]

£50,000?

[Burpee]

Yes.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Here, just think what I can buy Betty with that bed.

[Burpee]

Well, all right then. It's all right then. Sign this here paper, Mr. George.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Yes.

[Burpee]

And I'll fill in your coupon for you there.

[Narrator]

Right.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, pass me the paper. Burpee, pass me a pen.

[Ben Warren]

Here, James.

[Jimmy Jewel]

There you are, Jimmy.

[Ben Warren]

Jewel. That's fine.

[Burpee]

That's it, Burpy.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Now go on, give me the £50,000.

[Burpee]

Well, hold on, mate. Oh, don't you got to send a coupman in first? What do you want is your bank list?

[Ben Warren]

Well, I'll take Barclays.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Yeah, and I'll take the Midland and.

[Burpee]

I'll be in Scotland before you. No, no, no, no. Look, when you're doing Lisa now, when.

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