Up The Pole - First Show - Aired 11/01/1948

Summary

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Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Up The Pole - First Show - Aired 11/01/1948
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Release Date: August 6, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode features the first broadcast of Up the Pole, a classic 1948 British radio comedy. With slapstick banter and quirky character dynamics, the show stars Jimmy Jewel, Ben Warren, Betty Paul, and more, capturing the comedic misadventures of two hapless friends living in an apartment above a disused fire station. The theme centers around Jimmy’s attempt to impress Betty with a birthday gift, leading to a series of farcical complications.

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Key Discussion Points & Segment Breakdown

1. Introductions and Setting the Scene

[00:30 - 00:48]

• Narrator introduces the new adventure series, quickly setting up the context:
  • Cast: Claude Dampier, John Pertwee, Betty Paul, Roger Snowden, with Stanley Black and orchestra, the Five Smith Brothers, and the comedic leads Jimmy Jewel and Ben Warren.
  • Our "heroes" have moved into a quirky new home—an apartment above a neglected fire station.
• The opening sets a playful, farcical tone for the show.

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2. Jimmy’s Predicament & Banter with Ben

[00:48 - 03:22]

• Bathroom Scene:
  • Jimmy is caught gargling, with Ben urging him to stop and behave.
    • “Stop gargling. That’ll be quite enough of that noise, James.” (Ben Warren, 01:35)
  • Jimmy sings a silly “welcome” song to the audience.
    • “Welcome to you all, ladies and gentlemen...Well, that’s better out than in, isn’t it?” (Jimmy Jewel, 01:54)
• Dressing Up Mystery:
  • Ben teases Jimmy about why he’s dressing up. After much coaxing and comic avoidance, Jimmy admits Betty’s coming to visit.
  • Jimmy opens up about his shyness and admiration for Betty, wishing he were a film star to impress her.
    • “I wish I was more the kind of man she admires. I wish I were a film star.” (Jimmy Jewel, 03:01)
    • Ben, dryly: “Don’t you realize that one day you’re kissing Betty Grable, Lana Turner... the next day you’re just a has-been.” (Ben Warren, 03:09)

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3. Betty’s Visit & The Birthday Dilemma

[03:22 - 06:18]

• Betty arrives, greeted awkwardly by Jimmy, who fumbles trying to ask what gift she’d like for her birthday.
  • “At such a time I feel that the time has come for it to be the right time for the time. What is the time, Ben?” (Jimmy Jewel, 04:06)
  • Ben helps break the tension.
• The Big Ask:
  • Eventually, Betty mentions she’d like a specific ring from the jeweler—marked at £50, a huge sum for Jimmy.
    • “Oh, you can’t miss it. It’s in the middle window in a little velvet case marked £50.” (Betty Paul, 05:54)
  • Jimmy is elated—then panicked—by the prospect, realizing he can’t afford it.
    • “But I haven’t got £50. I’m going to faint.” (Jimmy Jewel, 06:23)
• Running Gags:
  • Comic fainting: “Catch me. Catch me. No, no. I want to be calm.” (Jimmy Jewel, 03:26)
  • Self-mocking banter: “I don’t want Betty to know I’m living with an idiot.” (Ben Warren, 04:39)
    • Jimmy retorts: “She knows I’m living with one.” (Jimmy, 04:44)

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4. Enter Burpee: Comic Relief & Football Pools

[06:18 - 08:33]

• Burpee arrives with news of his exploits “doing the old currency lark”—a comic story involving traveling with money through France, Holland, Russia, and finally getting “six months” in jail.
  • “First of all, I took me £35 of English money over to France… 50,000 rubles. You know what they gave me when I got back to England... Six months.” (Burpee, 07:18–07:35)
• Burpee’s New Job:
  • He’s now a football pool agent.
  • He pitches Jimmy and Ben to play, promising huge winnings.
    • “Only last week, with one of my fear-nothing forecasts, a bloke won £50,000.” (Burpee, 08:07)
    • Jimmy is comically distracted by the big prize, imagining what he could buy for Betty.
      • “Here, just think what I could buy Betty with that, Ben.” (Jimmy Jewel, 08:16)
• Filling In the Pool Coupon:
  • Jimmy signs up in hope, despite prior bad luck with pools.
  • The banter resumes regarding banks, and Burpee’s antics.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Catch me. Catch me. No, no. I want to be calm.” – Jimmy Jewel, [03:26]
• “She called me a sweet, sweet boy. Oh, I’m going to get her a ring. And it’s in the middle window and it’s marked £50. It’s marked £50. Ben.” – Jimmy Jewel, [06:04]
• “If you don’t get the ring for Betty, her cousin Roderick will.” – Ben Warren, [06:32]
• “I took me £35 of English money over to France...and when I got back to England now? What? Six months.” – Burpee, [07:18–07:35]
• “Only last week… a bloke won £50,000.” – Burpee, [08:07]

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Tone & Style

The humor is broad, self-deprecating, and full of wordplay, with a balance of slapstick and witty banter. The underlying earnestness of Jimmy’s affection for Betty sits at the heart of the episode, lending warmth to the comic chaos.

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Key Segments (with Timestamps)

• [00:30] - Introduction of series and main cast
• [01:54] - Jimmy's musical welcome and setting up the mood
• [03:26] - Jimmy's comic fainting, ongoing nervousness
• [05:54] - Betty reveals the desired birthday ring (£50)
• [06:18] - Panic and problem-solving as Jimmy seeks £50
• [07:18] - Burpee's international currency misadventure
• [08:07] - Football pools and hopes for quick riches

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Closing Thoughts

Up the Pole launches with a lively, character-driven farce, blending the charm of classic British comedy with witty dialogue and memorable character quirks. The episode stands as a delightful slice of radio history, capturing the warmth, anxiety, and absurdities of trying to impress a romantic interest—with plenty of laughs along the way.

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Transcript

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[Narrator]

Do you know what's in store for you for the next half an hour, ladies and gentlemen?

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, you'll never guess. Up the pole.

[Narrator]

Yes, it's the first in a new series of adventures with Claude Dampier, John Pertwee, Betty Paul, Roger Snowden, the five Smith brothers, Stanley Black in the orchestra and. And of course, that crazy couple, Jimmy Jewel and Ben Warren. Since we last heard from our two heroes, they've moved into an apartment over a disused fire station. And our story begins there. One brisk morning in early autumn. Jimmy is cleaning his teeth.

[Betty Paul]

Let the.

[Ben Warren]

All right, all right, all right. Stop gargling. That'll be quite enough of that noise, James.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, will I?

[Ben Warren]

Of course it will. That's no way. That is no way to say hello to the ladies and gentlemen.

[Jimmy Jewel]

A ned.

[Ben Warren]

Of course not. If you're going to sing at all, if you're gonna sing at all, you should sing a little song like this.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Welcome to you all, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen Sweet ladies and gentlemen Sweet ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to you all. Well, that's better out than in, isn't it?

[Ben Warren]

Well, I wish you'd come out of the bathroom, James. You know you've been in there for hours.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Come on.

[Ben Warren]

Yes, and tell me, why are you getting all dressed up this morning?

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, I don't like to tell you.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, go on.

[Jimmy Jewel]

No, I'm shy.

[Ben Warren]

Go on, tell Benny. What? I know, I know.

[Jimmy Jewel]

I shan't tell you. I shan't tell you.

[Burpee]

Oh, yes, you will.

[Jimmy Jewel]

No more.

[Ben Warren]

I've guessed it. It's something to do with Betty.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, you're so clever, Ben. Go to the top of the class. She's calling round to see me this morning.

[Ben Warren]

You mean to say you've asked a pretty young girl like Betty round to this dirty old fire station?

[Jimmy Jewel]

Yes. It's her birthday on Saturday and I want to find out what she liked for the presents. Are there.

[Ben Warren]

Well, listen, why don't you ask her yourself?

[Jimmy Jewel]

I can't. Then why not you ask her? Oh, no, no. Every time I see Betty, I Go all to pieces. Oh, you don't. I wish I was more the kind of man she admires.

[Ben Warren]

Really.

[Jimmy Jewel]

I wish I were a film star.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, it's not.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, so Robert Taylor.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, that's not all. Been wonderful being a film star.

[Jimmy Jewel]

I'd love to meet Robert Taylor.

[Ben Warren]

Don't you realize that one day you're kissing Betty Grable, Lana Turner, Donna Moore, the next day you're just a has been.

[Jimmy Jewel]

But brother, just look where you has been.

[Ben Warren]

Hello? Someone at the door.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, it'll be Betty. It'll be better.

[Ben Warren]

Don't worry. Don't.

[Jimmy Jewel]

I'm going to faint.

[Ben Warren]

I'm going to faint. No, you're not.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Yeah, I can't stand it. I'm going to. Catch me. Catch me. No, no. Oh, go and catch me. Oh, no. I want to be calm.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, stop it. Listen, I wish you'd stop larking about, Jimmy.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Well, out the way. Go and open the door. Ben.

[Betty Paul]

Hello, Ben.

[Narrator]

Oh, good.

[Ben Warren]

Good morning, Betty.

[Betty Paul]

Hello, Jimmy.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Hello, Betty. Won't you come? Come in.

[Betty Paul]

But I am in.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Yes, you are in. Aren't you in?

[Ben Warren]

Take a seat. Betty, darling, I. I think Jimmy wants to ask you something.

[Betty Paul]

Really, Jimmy?

[Jimmy Jewel]

Yes. You see, Betty, Saturday's your. Your birthday.

[Betty Paul]

Yes.

[Jimmy Jewel]

At such a time I feel that the time has come for it to be the right time for the time. What is the time, Ben?

[Ben Warren]

10 o'?

[Tyler Redick]

Clock.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Good gracious. No. Bed's made. Well, I feel I'd like. That is if you don't mind. Or you tell her, Ben.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, don't be silly. You tell her.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Well, I just want to tell you I'd like to give you a little present, that's all.

[Burpee]

A little present.

[Betty Paul]

Oh, Jimmy Kin.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, she called me Jimmy. Kim, catch me again.

[Ben Warren]

Oh, stop larking about. I don't want Betty to know I'm living with an idiot.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Why not? She knows I'm living with one.

[Ben Warren]

Shut up.

[Betty Paul]

Oh, it's most awfully sweet of you, Jimmy, to want to give me a present, but. But my cousin Roderick por Bellows has bought me nearly everything I need.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Roderick Forge Bellows? What, that windbag?

[Betty Paul]

Oh, you mustn't say that, Jimmy. He thinks a lot of me and is the most generous man I know.

[Ben Warren]

Yes, but surely there's something Jimmy could get for you, Betty.

[Betty Paul]

Well, there's one little thing, but it's much too expensive for Jimmy to buy.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Name it. Just name it, that's all.

[Ben Warren]

You can have it.

[Jimmy Jewel]

I'll show Roderick Forge Bellows he's not the only man who knows how to treat A girl.

[Betty Paul]

Very well, then. I'd like the ring I've seen in the jewelers down the road.

[Jimmy Jewel]

It shall be yours.

[Betty Paul]

Oh, Jimmy, I could kiss you for being so sweet.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Help yourself.

[Betty Paul]

Oh, Jimmy, where did you learn to kiss like that?

[Ben Warren]

Siphoning petrol.

[Betty Paul]

Well, I must be on my way now. Oh, thank you so much for promising to get me the ring. Jimmy, think nothing.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Think nothing of it. Think nothing of it. But how shall I know which ring it is?

[Betty Paul]

Oh, you can't miss it. It's in the middle window in a little Velvet case marked £50. So long, Ben.

[Ben Warren]

Jimmy, help.

[Betty Paul]

Goodbye, Jimmy. You three sweet, sweet boy.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, she called me a sweet, sweet boy. Oh, I'm going to get her a ring. And it's in the middle window and it's marked £50. It's marked £50. Ben.

[Narrator]

What?

[Jimmy Jewel]

She said the ring was marked £50.

[Ben Warren]

Well, that's what I thought she said.

[Jimmy Jewel]

But I haven't got £50. I'm going to faint.

[Ben Warren]

Do you want to be caught?

[Jimmy Jewel]

Yes, I think I've been caught already.

[Ben Warren]

Well, if you don't get the ring for Betty, her cousin Roderick will.

[Jimmy Jewel]

No, I've just got to get that £50, even if it means selling everything I possess.

[Ben Warren]

Jimmy, that would still leave you £48, 10 shillings short. Hello? Maybe that's Betty back. Perhaps she left something behind.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Well, open the door quickly, Ben. She might have called to say she was only joking about the ring.

[Burpee]

Okay. Watch your mate, Burpy.

[Ben Warren]

Well, well, well, well.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Burpee.

[Ben Warren]

Fancy.

[Narrator]

See?

[Jimmy Jewel]

Yes. Where have you been doing all these months? Working.

[Burpee]

No, no, no. Only mugs work. I've been doing the old currency lark. You know all that. I know.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, you mean in the bun factory?

[Burpee]

No, not that sort of currants. I mean the old do re me.

[Ben Warren]

Well, this sounds Very interesting, Mr. Burp. Did you. Did you do well?

[Burpee]

Oh, yes, I say, I did.

[Ben Warren]

You did.

[Burpee]

First of all, I took me £35 of English money over to France.

[Ben Warren]

Yes.

[Burpee]

And they give me 40,000 French frogs.

[Ben Warren]

Go on, then. Go on.

[Burpee]

Yes, then I took me throngs over to Holland. They gave me 10,000 Dutch guilders.

[Narrator]

That's good.

[Burpee]

Yes. And I took my guildies to Russia.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Did you?

[Burpee]

They gave me 50,000 rubles.

[Ben Warren]

Did they?

[Burpee]

And I'd say all my rubles. You know what they gave me when I got back to England now? What? Six months.

[Narrator]

Poor old Burpee.

[Burpee]

Oh, well, never mind, mates. I've got a smashing job now, you know.

[Ben Warren]

A smashing job now.

[Burpee]

Oh, I've got a smashing job. What is it? I'm an agent.

[Ben Warren]

An agent?

[Burpee]

Yes, an agent.

[Jimmy Jewel]

What, a 10 percenter?

[Burpee]

That's it. No, no, no, I'm an agent for the help yourself football pool, sir. I'm just calling around the houses, pick up some new clients that. Wait a minute. How about. How about you two boys having a bash?

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, now Burpee, I'm never lucky with football pools.

[Burpee]

Oh yeah, but listen, mates, only last week with one of my fear nothing forecasts a bloke won 50,000 nicker.

[Jimmy Jewel]

£50,000?

[Burpee]

Yes.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Here, just think what I could buy bet you with that bed.

[Burpee]

Well, all right. It's all right. Then sign this here paper, Mr. Jewel. Yes. And I'll fill in your coupon for you there. Right.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Oh, pass me the paper. Burpee, pass me a pen.

[Burpee]

Here you are then.

[Ben Warren]

Here James. There you are.

[Jimmy Jewel]

Jimmy, is it Jewel?

[Ben Warren]

That's fine.

[Jimmy Jewel]

That's it, Perpe. Now go on, give me the £50,000.

[Burpee]

Well, hold on, mate. Oh, don't you got to send a coupon in first? What do you want is your bank list?

[Ben Warren]

Well, I'll take Barclays and I'll take the Midland.

[Burpee]

And I'll be in Scotland before ya.

[Jimmy Jewel]

No, no, no, no.

[Burpee]

Look, when you're doing Lisa now, when you're doing foot, we the ones still

[Betty Paul]

showing up holding hands.

[Jimmy Jewel]

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