Vic and Sade 39-06-13 (x) Porch Collapses Rotten Takes Blame

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Vic and Sade 39-06-13 – Porch Collapses, Rotten Takes Blame
Date: August 24, 2025
Podcast Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Original Air Date of Show: June 13, 1939

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Episode Overview

This episode features a classic Vic and Sade broadcast, set in a midwestern American town and centered on the quiet domestic life of Victor Gook, his wife Sade, and their son. Tonight’s comedy unfolds as a dramatic event stirs the neighborhood—a porch on Center Street collapses, causing quite a scene. The main plot revolves around the comically exaggerated reactions of the town youth, in particular a showy performance by “Rotten” Davis, who, in a spectacular display, claims responsibility for the collapse to impress onlookers.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. A Quiet Evening Interrupted

• The Gook family and Arthur begin the evening playing rummy, settling into the mundaneness and comfort of small-town life. Their conversation is slow and bit mundane, highlighting the show’s signature banter.
• Quote:
  “There was interest in rummies. After about so long a time the spades start resembling clubs.”
  — Mrs. Victor Gook (03:34)

2. The Excitement on Center Street

• Arthur bursts in with startling news: the second-story veranda of the large house on South Center Street has collapsed.
• The discussion centers on how none of the locals, including the Gooks, realized anything had happened.
• Quote:
  “A house collapsed.”
  — Arthur (05:28)
• Description of the scene: No one was hurt, but debris is scattered for half a block and the event quickly gathers a crowd.
• Quote:
  “That second story veranda weighs tons and tons. It crashed like thunder… Broke every window in the house.”
  — Arthur (06:42)
• The host notes with humor the absurdity of missing such a neighborhood spectacle.

3. Rotten Davis’s Theatrical Antics

• The real comic focus: Rotten Davis, a local teen, seizes the crash as an opportunity for melodrama.
• Claiming responsibility, he dramatically runs back and forth, shouting, “I lost my temper!”
• Arthur recounts his performance in animated detail, explaining how Rotten wore goggles, an aviator’s helmet, and paraded with a foreign-labeled suitcase to impress the gathering.
• Notable Narrative:
  “He was running back and forth in front of the ruins screaming, ‘I lost my temper… I lost my temper and look what I’ve done.’”
  — Arthur (09:13)
• Rooster (Rotten’s brother) aids in the charade, answering from the shadows with escalating “body count” numbers to feed the drama.
• Quote:
  “Every once in a while he’d holler to Rooster, ‘How many bodies have they found so far?’”
  — Arthur (11:35)

4. Neighborhood Reactions and Social Satire

• The adults react with bemusement and a touch of exasperation, marveling at the youthful need for attention.
• Mrs. Gook comments on Rotten’s age (almost 19), reflecting on the maturity (or lack thereof) of today’s youth.
• Quote:
  “Imagine a boy 19 years old behaving.”
  — Mrs. Victor Gook (11:53)
• There’s mild applause for Rotten’s creativity, but also a suggestion that his mother should set him straight.

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Memorable Moments and Quotes

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|------------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:34 | Mrs. Gook | "There was interest in rummies. After about so long a time the spades start resembling clubs." | | 05:28 | Arthur | "A house collapsed." | | 06:42 | Arthur | "That second story veranda weighs tons and tons. It crashed like thunder… Broke every window in the house." | | 09:13 | Arthur | "He was running back and forth in front of the ruins screaming, ‘I lost my temper… I lost my temper and look what I’ve done.’" | | 11:35 | Arthur | "Every once in a while he’d holler to Rooster, ‘How many bodies have they found so far?’" | | 11:53 | Mrs. Gook | "Imagine a boy 19 years old behaving." |

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [03:27] – Rummy game banter & signs of fatigue in the Gook home
• [05:28] – News breaks: The Center Street collapse
• [06:42] – Descriptive account of the porch disaster and resulting chaos
• [08:39] – Introduction of Rotten’s dramatic antics and public spectacle
• [09:13] – Rotten “confesses” to the collapse to a mesmerized crowd
• [11:05] – Discussion of Rotten and Rooster’s coordinated hoax, including costumes and performance
• [11:53] – Comments on Rotten’s age and immaturity by the adults

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Episode Tone and Style

True to Vic and Sade’s style, the tone is dryly comic, gentle, and rooted in the rhythms of ordinary life, with humor bubbling up from mundane events, neighborhood gossip, and the outsized behavior of local youth. The dialogue leans heavily on banter and understatement, with affectionate ribbing amongst the characters.

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Summary

In this episode, a tranquil evening is upended by the news of a porch collapse, which quickly becomes the stage for Rotten Davis’s quest for neighborhood immortality by feigning responsibility for the accident. While the “disaster” itself is played for laughs, the real humor comes from the exaggerated teenage response and the adults’ bemused detachment. The episode offers a window into small-town Americana, capturing both the harmlessness of youthful antics and the affectionate patience of older generations.

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Transcript

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[Radio Announcer]

And now get ready to smile again with radio's home folks, Crisco's Vic and Sade. You know, I've been doing a little investigating lately. I've been asking husbands about their favorite cakes. Well, one of their favorite cakes is dark moist chocolate cake covered with a thick fudge icing. They also go for the old fashioned spicy kind of cake, like applesauce cake. Now you're probably saying, what's this man up to? Does he want me to make more cakes? Well, I guess you can see right through me because I do want you to make more cakes, but I want you to make them an easy way. With new creamier Crisco. I hope you won't let another single day go by without discovering what a real help new Crisco can be to you. Why, it may change all your ideas about cake making. Cause you see, new Crisco is now made by the new gyro churn process. A million dollar process that actually pre creams Crisco. Yes, that means you can mix your Crisco sugar and eggs together in one operation. And boy, your arm's going to be mighty glad not to have any hard creaming to do. And just look at that clock. See the minute you've saved and when you open your oven door, what a cake you're going to see. Light as a snowflake or I'll miss my bet. And when you serve it to your family, it'll melt away just like a snowflake too. Now I'll bet that right this minute every one of you ladies who've baked Crisco cakes for years are nodding their heads. I'll bet you're agreeing. Crisco is Even grander now. And you're right for the new gyro churn process beets, whips and creams Crisco hundreds of times. So the new Crisco comes out creamier than, well, almost creamier than anything you can imagine. Why, one grand cook, Mrs. G.J. siebel of Long island says, quote, I'm a better cake maker than ever now that I'm using the new faster mixing Crisco, unquote. That's right, Mrs. Siebel. And all you makers of coconut cakes, orange cakes, Lady Baltimore cakes, just try new creamier Crisco. And you can also depend on it for tender pie crust and really delicious fried foods. Well, sir, it's a few minutes past nine o'clock in the evening as we enter the small house halfway up in the next block now. And here in the living room we find Mr. And Mrs. Victor Gook abiding quietly at home. They've been playing rummy for the last hour or so and the game has begun to take on a sluggish, lackluster quality. Listen, I win.

[Victor Gook]

I see your cards.

[Arthur]

Sure you win.

[Victor Gook]

Got three queens, three deuces and a four, five, six and seven.

[Arthur]

A heart.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

There was interest in rummies. After about so long a time the spades start resembling clubs.

[Victor Gook]

You mean it?

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Quit would you disassume?

[Victor Gook]

All right. Not much kit to the game when your opponent's half asleep.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

I am a little tired. Too early to go to bed.

[Victor Gook]

Courthouse clock struck nine about five minutes ago.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Well, I bet I sleep so sound tonight you could send my undershirt to Detroit, Michigan.

[Arthur]

Parcel post paper states showers sometime before morning.

[Victor Gook]

I hope they hurry along and cool things off.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Oh, deal out a few more rummies. Might as well be doing something.

[Victor Gook]

Okay.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Kind of funny that Davis boy storming in here this evening, wasn't it?

[Victor Gook]

I learned that there's nothing extraordinary in the most un understandable behavior on the part of 14 year old boys. Being the father of a 14 year old boy, I'm tutored in all.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Here's your 14 year old boy now. Crash.

[Arthur]

Hi.

[Victor Gook]

Here's a beautiful bouquet of tickets for you, Charlie.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Thanks. Hope I can tell the hearts from the clubs.

[Victor Gook]

The hearts are red, the clubs black.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

I mean the diamonds from the spades. After so many rummies I get so I can't keep my mind on what I'm doing.

[Arthur]

I sure this didn't disturb you when he come after rotten Suitcase a while ago, did he?

[Victor Gook]

Not too much, of course. I had to climb upstairs after.

[Arthur]

Well, it helped along the excitement. My George, I never enjoyed such high class excitement in my life.

[Victor Gook]

What excitement do you have? Reference to sunburn.

[Arthur]

Center Street.

[Victor Gook]

Has there been excitement on Center Street?

[Arthur]

I'm discarding the six of clubs.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

I can use it in my business. I beat your father three times in a row.

[Arthur]

And didn't Rooster explain?

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Explain what?

[Arthur]

About Center Street? No. What about it? Rooster never said a word.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

He come to the door all out of breath and wanted that big old imitation leather suitcase you borrowed off in. His brother Gar went after it and he grabbed it and was gone.

[Arthur]

Well, I'll be darned.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Why? What happened on Center Street?

[Arthur]

A house collapsed. Ah, you telling the truth? You don't know about it.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

We've been sitting here playing cards ever since around 7:30.

[Arthur]

Never heard no noise, never heard no.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

People yelling, never heard a sound. Telephone hasn't even rung. Except for Rooster storming in, it's been quiet as my phone pizza.

[Arthur]

Gotcha.

[Victor Gook]

House collapsed you say?

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Temper bells.

[Arthur]

Yeah, I collapsed one time myself.

[Victor Gook]

I was on the outskirts of Cleveland, Ohio where I just officiated at a wedding ceremony.

[Arthur]

After kissing the bride, I pocketed the.

[Victor Gook]

Five dollar bill given me by the bridegroom and prepared.

[Arthur]

You know that place in the 300 block on South center with the second story porch that runs clear around the whole house?

[Victor Gook]

Has it got fragile hedgerows and morning glories and a solid gold belfry which catches a dazzling.

[Arthur]

Give me a show girl. That place collapsed this evening Easy nine of Spake City. I trusted you.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

You were talking about that big boarding house looking place, Willie.

[Arthur]

Sure. It collapsed at 8 o'. Clock.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

What you mean by collapsed?

[Arthur]

Fell down?

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Ah, a great big mud.

[Arthur]

The whole thing didn't fall down, just that second story veranda fell down. But to look at it, you'd think the entire house had been hit by a cyclone.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

That's the truth.

[Arthur]

If it's not the truth, you can send my undershirt to St. Paul, Minnesota. Catch on delivery. If it's not the truth.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Was anybody hurt?

[Arthur]

And not a soul. And it's the luckiest thing since the bullet that choked Billy Patterson. Why that second story veranda weighs tons and tons. It crashed like thunder. Busted the first floor porch into smithereens. Broke every window in the house. There's chunks of lumber and splinters of wood scattered up and down center street for half a block.

[Victor Gook]

You're not exaggerating, are you? You're not making a mountain out of some trivial accident?

[Arthur]

No sir. Hope to die if I've twisted the fanck. Hey, why don't you people put on your hat and stroll over there?

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

See for yourself.

[Arthur]

It's just like I say, center street is cluttered up with debris for half a block in both directions.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Well, what happened?

[Arthur]

The doggone second story veranda collapsed from old age. The pillars were weak.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

I believe that Ruthie and I noticed the place just last week when we were walking past that upstairs porch that circles the house was sagging in half a dozen places.

[Arthur]

Sure, it was bound to happen sooner or later. And it happened tonight. I'm surprised you individuals never heard the crash.

[Victor Gook]

Where were you when it happened?

[Arthur]

Standing out in front of the Bai Joe. Pictures show I was in the society of bluetooth Johnson. By george, we were in the 300 block on South center in 2 seconds.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Looks like we did miss some excitement.

[Arthur]

Missed half your life. Come on, slap on your hat. We'll go over there.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Oh, it's all over and done with now.

[Arthur]

Probably still a crowd of people hanging around, though. No fooling to look at that house. You think it got caught between nine cyclones? Come on, dove. You and me will hike the center street.

[Victor Gook]

I'd like to beg off Arthur. It's too warm an evening to work myself up over a porch falling off a house.

[Arthur]

Okay.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Certainly a good thing nobody got injured.

[Arthur]

Yes, indeed.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

I remember the place you're talking about very well. Just last week Ruthie and I walked past. Seems to me she passed some remark. Look how that old upper story porch stick tags or something.

[Arthur]

Peculiar Rooster didn't give you the details when he come after rotten suitcase? Guess he was too excited.

[Victor Gook]

What is his big hurry for his brother's suitcase when there was so much free entertainment going on?

[Arthur]

Oh, gosh, I haven't told you about rotten yet.

[Victor Gook]

What did rotten do?

[Arthur]

Rotten Davis, gov had the most magnificent evening of his entire career. Oh, so he made off to the crowd. It was his fault the house collapsed. Yeah, you should have seen him. He was running back and forth in front of the ruins screaming, I lost my temper. He kept yelling, I lost my temper. Yeah, he was making a public spectacle out of himself. Yeah, five minutes after the big crash, about 200 people were on the spot. They didn't know what happened. They just saw this house all busted to pieces and lumber laying around every place. And here was aton Davis tearing his hair and rushing around crazy. I lost my temper. He kept screaming, I lost my temper.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

The people who got the notion rotten lost his temper and torn the whole house down.

[Arthur]

Sure they got that notion. Oh, my, it was a magnificent thing to witness. The crowd opened up an alley for Rotten to run back and forth in. And he ran back and forth in it till. Who laid the chunk? I lost my temporary holler. I lost my temper and look what I've done. Remember now, the house looked like it had been hit by a cyclone. An innocent bystander. Guess it take nine men eight days to do that much damage. Oh, my Rotten. Davis seen his opportunity and grabbed it. He had that enormous throng of people in the palm of his hand. If he'd look tough at any of them, they'd have started from home. 90 miles an hour. Oh, it's wonderful, wonderful. I tell you, if I had a.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Boy that was such a smarty show off, I bet.

[Arthur]

And Rooster worked hand in glove with him. Rooster deserves 50% of the credit for his brother's sensational hoax.

[Victor Gook]

I was going to inquire. What did Rooster want with the suitcase?

[Arthur]

Wanted it to take back to Rotten. It's all plastered up with foreign labels. You know, foreign labels impressed the general public. Soon as Rotten got hold of that suitcase, he started running between the divided crowd of people with it. I told you they separated and left him space to run back and forth in. Didn't I make kind of a lane for him? Well, he'd run from one end of the lane to the other. When he got to one end, he'd stop and set down his suitcase. Then he'd give the people a chance to read the foreign labels. Nome, Alaska, London, England, Paris, France, Rotterdam, Holland, Brussels, Belgium, Stockholm, Sweden and so on. All the time he kept hollering, he'd lost his temper and torn down a house. Then he'd pick up his suitcase and run to the other end of the lane, do the same thing over again. I lost control of my temporary screen. I lost control of my temper and tore down this house in three minutes with my bare hands.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

His mother ought to take him by the coast column.

[Arthur]

Let me tell you another trick he used to heighten the effect. He was wearing goggles when he sent Rooster after his suitcase. He also had him stop by home and pick up an aviator's helmet and goggles that used to belong to some friend of his that owned a motorcycle. Oh, his magnificent guy, Betty Dress, carrying his suitcase all plastered up with foreign labels and wearing an aviator's helmet on his head with the goggles pulled down over his eyes and running back and forth like you're going crazy.

[Victor Gook]

I lost my temper. I lost my temper.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

Yeah, for a boy that's almost a grown up man.

[Arthur]

And every once in a while he'd holler to Rooster, hey, he'd holler, how many bodies have they found so far? And Rooster, he was back in the shadows. Or put on a deep voice and answer. Six so far. Seven so far. Eight so far.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

You know, ain't he going on 19 years old, rush rotten. Yeah, well, imagine a boy 19 years old behaving.

[Arthur]

Mom, he had the most magnificent evening of his entire career.

[Mrs. Victor Gook]

I'd give him the most magic.

[Arthur]

Oh, and another feature that was Dandy. Three young ladies he likes were in the crowd. Three very handsome young ladies he's ambitious to escort to the picture show. And places were present.

[Victor Gook]

I bet he's their hero now.

[Arthur]

Oh, boy.

[Victor Gook]

You seem to have had just about as satisfactory an evening as Rotten did.

[Arthur]

I had a delightful evening. A delightful evening.

[Radio Announcer]

Which concludes another brief interlude at the small house halfway up in the next block. And there we leave Crisco's Vic and Sade. Until the next time. Now, while you're in your store today, why don't you get new Crisco, the new creamier Crisco that's made wonderfully creamy by the amazing new million dollar gyro churn process. Bake a cake for supper tonight. You'll be delighted when you see what an elegant cake you get so quickly and easily. The new Crisco way. Why, just listen to what One cooking expert, Mrs. Margaret E. Thomas of New York City says. Quote, it's amazing how easy cake mixing is with creamy Crisco. Crisco blends in a few stirs, cutting out all hard creaming. Yet Crisco cakes are as light as if made the old slow, hard way. Unquote. Now, that's what one expert says. But let me add that hundreds of cooking experts use new Crisco. In fact, out of 753 teachers in public schools from coast to coast, nine out of 10 of these teachers said, we use new Crisco in our cooking classes. So get new Crisco. Try it for cakes, for flaky, tender pie crusts, for crisp, golden fried foods. And don't forget to listen to Crisco's Vic and save the next time. This is Ralph Edwards speaking.

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