Podcast Summary: Wednesdays With You 45-06-13 w-Alan Young

Podcast: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Originally Aired: June 13, 1945 (Golden Age segment)
Guest: Alan Young, Marilyn Maxwell
Setting: Variety show-style radio program set at Mitchell Field, with a live military audience
Date Aired on Harold's Old Time Radio: September 2, 2025

Main Theme

This episode presents a classic wartime radio variety show, blending music, comedy, and star performances with patriotic appeals and support for the war effort. Host Eddie Cantor leads a fast-paced, joke-laden program from a U.S. Air Force base, mingling banter with reminders for listeners to support American troops, especially through the purchase of war bonds. The show also features a notable guest segment with rising comedian Alan Young and a glamorous appearance by actress-singer Marilyn Maxwell.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Patriotic Opening and War Effort Appeals

• Eddie Cantor and the company open by addressing the morale of servicemen and the importance of supporting the war effort from home.
  • "Show the men in the Pacific that there’s a bond between us. Buy one tomorrow..." (01:00, B)
• The program is dedicated to Uncle Sam’s campaign to buy more war bonds (01:31, C).

2. Musical Comedy and Military Humor

• Eddie Cantor performs “Every Time,” setting the upbeat, comedic mood with musical numbers and banter about military life (02:01, B).
• Playful jabs at the speed of military discharge:
  • “Did you ever see one of these guys with enough points...? Want to see something fast? He’s home.” (03:52, B)
• Gags about age, marriage, and Hollywood celebrities, with an ongoing riff about Cantor's (and Jack Benny’s) purported age (04:48-06:07).

3. Advice and Running Jokes on Marriage

• Cantor jokes about advice for a happy marriage, delivered with classic vaudeville style:
  • "Georgie Jessel...told me to follow two rules. One, when you get married, tell your wife you have to have one free evening a week to go out with the boys... And what’s the other rule? Don’t waste that free evening going out with the boys." (06:28-06:47)

4. Food Shortages and Military Life Satire

• Cantor and sidekick Don riff on the soldier’s lot—long food lines, mess hall jokes, and a “poultry shortage” gag about colonels being afraid to pass the butcher shop (08:18-09:01; 18:51-19:23).

5. Mock News Report & Wartime Parody

• An extended, satirical “Tokyo Flashy flash” news segment lampoons Japanese propaganda and the point system for discharges (09:01-10:28).
  • “American naval losses twice as much as Japan. Japanese lost 10 ships. Americans lose 20 torpedoes.” (09:48, B)

6. Comedy Crossover: Bert Gordon (‘Mad Russian’) & Alan Young

• Bert Gordon phones in as the Mad Russian, feigning a live plane landing and continuing the show's manic humor (10:37-13:35).
  • “I am flying over Ebbets Field...They just knocked one over the fence... a spectator.” (11:00, B)
• Alan Young’s guest segment features repartee about comedic rivalry and the woes of wooing a girl, culminating in a mock “pick-up advice” session using Marilyn Maxwell to make his girlfriend jealous (23:00-29:20).

7. Star Appearance: Marilyn Maxwell

• MGM’s Marilyn Maxwell is introduced as the glamorous guest, honored for her support of the troops and for her recent film appearance (17:55-18:31).
  • Light romantic comedy ensues between Maxwell, Young, and Cantor.
  • "Well, Don, you're wasting your time. You won't make a hit with Ms. Maxwell. You're no Van Johnson." (18:26, B)
  • Maxwell gamely plays along with the “movie star” flattery and gives Alan Young a stage kiss for his jealous girlfriend.

8. Recurring Humor & Running Gags

• Chopstick/knitting needle mix-up in the Chinese restaurant joke (28:24-28:54).
• Repeated jabs at Don’s appetite, the shortage of steak, and the challenges of eating out.

9. Sign-off and Final Appeals

• The episode concludes with reiterations of support for the war effort and a lighthearted sendoff from Cantor and guests, emphasizing unity between those at home and in service (31:52-32:02).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Show the men in the Pacific that there’s a bond between us. Buy one tomorrow...”
  — Eddie Cantor (01:00)
• “Do you mean to say that at the time you and Ida were married, that you were only three years old?”
  — Don (05:09)
• “Stradivarius violin...I happen to know Jack Benny got his flat feet pacing up and down waiting for Mr. Stradivarius to finish it.”
  — Eddie Cantor (06:07)
• “Georgie Jessel...told me to follow two rules...Don’t waste that free evening going out with the boys.”
  — Eddie Cantor (06:28)
• “A lieutenant ordered an egg for breakfast... by the time it was his turn, the egg had hatched, turned into a rooster, and was standing in line...”
  — Eddie Cantor (08:25)
• “All men having enough points will immediately be released from the army. Number two, all men released from the army will be put in the navy.”
  — Eddie Cantor, as Tokyo radio (09:01)
• “American naval losses twice as much as Japan. Japanese lost 10 ships. Americans lose 20 torpedoes.”
  — Eddie Cantor (09:48)
• “He looks like a moving van.”
  — Eddie Cantor about Don, after Marilyn Maxwell’s compliment (18:38)
• “There’s only one thing in the whole world a colonel would be afraid to do. And what is that? Tell that joke.”
  — Alan Young (25:05)
• “No, they were chopsticks. You were supposed to eat with them. Gosh, and I sat there knitting her a sweater.”
  — Alan Young (28:54)
• “This you won’t believe because it’s a lie.”
  — The Mad Russian (31:21, B)
• “But the clothes don’t make the man...”
  — (32:05, F, beginning of post-show ad - not program content)

Notable Segment Timestamps

• 01:00: Eddie Cantor’s opening war bonds appeal
• 02:01: Musical intro (“Every Time”)
• 03:52: Discharge speed joke
• 06:07: Jack Benny/Stradivarius joke
• 06:28: Marriage advice from Georgie Jessel
• 09:01: “Tokyo Flashy flash” satirical news
• 10:37: Mad Russian airplane call-in
• 13:37: “Dream” sung by Nora Martin
• 17:55: Introduce Marilyn Maxwell
• 18:51: Poultry/Colonel joke lands
• 23:00: Alan Young’s guest segment begins
• 26:14: Marilyn agrees to help make Alan’s girl jealous
• 28:54: Chopsticks/knitting gag
• 29:26: Marilyn Maxwell admits taking a rest from her film work
• 31:21: The Mad Russian’s “You won’t believe... because it’s a lie” quip
• 32:02: Program sign-off and final war bond appeal

Overall Episode Tone and Style

The episode is a vibrant showcase of mid-1940s entertainment: warm, rapidly paced, filled with joke trading, topical references, light musical breaks, and recurring appeals to support the troops. Eddie Cantor’s hosting centers everything in classic vaudeville warmth—self-deprecating humor, showbiz in-jokes, and family-friendly camaraderie. The tone is breezy, patriotic, and peppered with showbiz bravado. Marilyn Maxwell adds glamour and wit, while Alan Young and the Mad Russian keep comedic energy high.

For Listeners Who Missed It

Expect:

• Classic, fast-paced 1940s comedy with plenty of musical flair
• Jokes about the military, food shortages, Hollywood, marriage, and age
• Patriotic appeals tying showbiz to the war effort
• Marilyn Maxwell’s star power and Alan Young’s comedic wit in extended, playful repartee
• Absurd, light-hearted characters (e.g., the Mad Russian) with surreal gags
• A sense of nostalgia for family radio evenings and Hollywood’s wartime golden age