WSM Collection 1940.03.11 The Worry Hour

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: WSM Collection 1940.03.11 The Worry Hour
Date: February 20, 2026
Theme:
This episode features a 1940 broadcast of "The Worry Hour," a light-hearted variety radio show from the golden age. The show brings together humor, music, and sketches all centered on worrying — or more specifically, the idea that most worries are needless and seldom come to pass. Hosted by the witty Professor Phineas Fret, the program weaves playful banter, musical performances, and interactive listener segments, offering a nostalgic peek into how families once gathered around the radio for entertainment and community.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Worry Hour Concept

• Show Introduction (00:33 - 01:59):
  • The premise of the show is that most worries never materialize.
  • Listeners are encouraged to do all their worrying together during this designated half-hour, freeing them for the rest of the week.
  • Ritual to begin the session: Right hand on right knee, chin on palm, frowning — to "assume the approved position" for worrying.

Notable Quote:

"We have an idea that most of the things that worry people never happen. And yet we realize that a lot of people just can't be happy without doing a pile of worrying."
— Professor Phineas Fret (01:59)

2. Interactive Element: The Listener Letter Contest

• Listener Participation (07:36 - 08:01):
  • Each week, listeners can submit their worries (and solutions).
  • The best letter is dramatized on-air and wins $25.
  • Only solved worries qualify, emphasizing the show’s optimistic tilt.

Notable Quote:

"We just want, in your own words, the story of your worst worry that never materialized."
— David Cobb (08:01)

3. Musical Interludes and Guest Artists

• (09:11 - 10:11): Snooki Landman performs “All the Things You Are.”
• (14:15 - 16:33): Guest vocalist Kitty Callan sings “Blue Skies,” bringing a moment of cheer and classic entertainment.
• (25:20 - 27:47): Jane Grant delivers “Darn That Dream,” blending the show’s worry motif with a wistful tune.

4. Humorous Sketches on Worry

• Professor Fret and Taxes (10:15 - 12:03):
  • Skit about the headaches of filing income tax returns.
  • Pokes fun at exemptions, dependents, and the convolutions of government forms.
  • Light marital banter: “Whoever heard of a married man being the head of his family for a whole year at a time?” (11:24)
• Birthday Slippers Sketch (18:04 - 24:34):
  • Professor and his wife recount the comedic saga of trying to exchange ill-fitting birthday slippers.
  • Repeated trips between stores and a missing sales slip highlight everyday frustrations turned into relatable comedy.

Notable Quote:

"A man has to pay Social Security taxes so he'll have an income at 65. And then they got the income tax to wear him to death before he gets there."
— Professor Phineas Fret (11:39)

5. Worries & Solutions: The Shield Man

• Role of Life Insurance (12:03 - 13:05):
  • The show's sponsor, National Life and Accident Insurance, is woven into the story.
  • “Shield men” (insurance agents) help eliminate worries about family security, college, mortgages, and future income.

Notable Quote:

"Other people's worries become the Shield Man's opportunity for more service."
— David Cobb (12:57)

6. Practical Wisdom and Closing Thought

• Closing Reflection (27:53 - 28:46):
  • Professor Fret closes with an anonymous quotation encouraging listeners to learn, let go, and improve:

Notable Quote:

"Why worry over it? Just make up your mind to do better when you get another chance. And this chance is coming if you live. Just thank your lucky star for the lesson."
— Professor Phineas Fret (27:53)

7. Calls to Action for Listeners

• Submit Letters & Get the Booklet (28:46 - 30:51):
  • Listeners are encouraged to submit their stories to be featured and possibly win $25.
  • Booklet offer: “Helpful Hints on How to Worry,” a playful pamphlet describing the art of worrying and suggested topics.
  • Invitation for listeners to visit the show in person next week.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Moment | |-----------|----------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:59 | Prof. Phineas | "Most of the things that worry people never happen..." | | 07:36 | David Cobb | "We're supposed to dramatize the best letter received from a listener..." | | 08:14 | David Cobb | "The worry you write must have been solved, as most worries are..." | | 11:24 | Prof. Phineas | "Whoever heard of a married man being head of his family for a whole year?" | | 11:39 | Prof. Phineas | "A man has to pay Social Security... income tax to wear him to death..." | | 13:05 | Prof. Phineas | "Any members... can see the shield man... and then they won't have much to worry about." | | 18:08 | Prof. Phineas & Wife | Recapping the frustrating yet charming saga of exchanging birthday slippers | | 24:47 | David Cobb | "Jane Grant comes to the microphone to do her bit towards chasing worries..." | | 27:53 | Prof. Phineas | "Why worry over it? Just make up your mind to do better..." | | 30:51 | Prof. Phineas | "Good night, and don't worry." |

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• Show Introduction & Concept: 00:33 - 01:59
• First “Worry Session” Ritual: 01:59 - 06:58
• Listener Letter Contest Explanation: 07:36 - 08:24
• Musical Highlight #1 ("All the Things You Are"): 09:11 - 10:11
• Sketch: Tax Return Worries: 10:15 - 12:03
• Sponsor/Shield Man Explanation: 12:03 - 13:28
• Musical Highlight #2 (Kitty Callan "Blue Skies"): 14:15 - 16:33
• Birthday Slippers Comedy Sketch: 18:04 - 24:34
• Musical Highlight #3 (Jane Grant "Darn That Dream"): 25:20 - 27:47
• Philosophical Close and Listener Engagement: 27:53 - 28:46
• Booklet Promotion: 28:46 - 30:51

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Tone & Style

The tone throughout is witty, friendly, and clever — a balance of sincere encouragement and gentle satire about human nature’s tendency to worry. Professor Phineas Fret, the show’s "expert on worrying," leads with theatrical flair, while the ensemble cast’s banter and musical guests evoke the warmth and conviviality of old-time radio.

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Summary

This installment of “The Worry Hour” from WSM offers a whimsical exploration of worry, pairing relatable humor with classic 1940s musical charm. Through self-deprecating skits (particularly about taxes and birthday gifts), listener interaction, and upbeat performances, the show echoes a universal theme: most fears are unfounded, and a bit of laughter and shared experience can chase them away. Listeners are not only entertained but invited to participate and even profit from the art of worrying, all while being reminded — as the show closes — "Good night, and don't worry."

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

The worry hour. The National Life and Accident Insurance Company and its 3500 shield men from coast to coast who believe that most of the things you worry about never happen, bring you this new program called the Worry Hour. Featuring the music of Francis Craig and his orchestra. And in addition to the songs of Snooki Landman and Jane Grant, a gorgeous guest songstress and a brand new star for radio fans to worry about. And here he is, ladies and gentlemen, that expert on the cause of worry, Professor Fred.

[C]

Here now, Professor Phineas Fret, if you please. A fine thing. Here I'm introduced for the first time on a new program and you leave out half my name. What's the matter with you anyway?

[B]

Well, I'm sorry, Professor Phineas Fret. We've all been so worried about this new show, the Worry Hour, that, well, I'm really not myself. Can't you tell? You are yourself, Professor. So suppose you go ahead and tell the folks about the program, eh?

[C]

Well, my friends, it's simple. We have an idea that most of the things that worry people never happen. And yet we realize that a lot of people just can't be happy without doing a pile of worrying. We believe that if they just set aside a certain time each week to do their worrying and at that time sit down and worry hard and get it over with, then they'd be a lot happier during the rest of the week. So a bunch of us have set aside this half hour every Monday night at 9:30 to do our worrying. For instance, there's Francis Craig worrying with the men in his orchestra. And there's Jane Grant worrying with the words to her song. David Cobb worrying with the words he's supposed to say. And a studio packed full of people with their worries. Just listen to em. Did you hear him? The gloom was so thick we cut it with a knife. Say, Francis, while we're setting the stage for the first session, give us a tune that'll put everybody in the mo. I here now declare The Worry Hour officially in session. Members will assume the approved position. Right hand on right knee, palm of right hand upward with chin resting heavily on the palm. Left foot slightly forward with the left hand on left knee. Now then, all together. A good old Worry Hour frown. As I declare our purpose. To refrain from all worry throughout the week except at this time each Monday night when the Worry Hour comes. To keep careful record of any matters arising at other times during the week so they may be worried about on the Worry Hour. And to report any members caught worrying at any other time. The session is now open for the first order of business. What'll we worry about? Come on now, worriers, speak up.

[B]

There must be something, Professor. One brother in the back of the room back there says he's afraid his coal pile won't last through the cold weather.

[D]

My, my.

[C]

If there's a coal dealer listening, rush to Studio C. It sounds like there may be a lot of customers here. Well, I reckon that's taken care of. What else?

[B]

Well, I have a worry, Professor Fred.

[C]

Don't approach the matter so lightly, Dave. Put another fur in your brow.

[B]

Another fur? How's this?

[C]

Now you got it. One more wrinkle in your forehead, and I think you had wearing a corduroy cap. Now then, what's your worry?

[B]

Well, I'll tell you, Professor. It's this program, you know. We're supposed to dramatize the best letter received from a listener describing his or her worry and what he or she did about it. But since this is the very first meeting of the Worry Hour, we haven't had a chance to tell the listeners about it. And therefore, we haven't received any letters yet. No wonder I'm worried.

[C]

All right, go ahead and tell them about it now. So we'll have a lot of letters for next week.

[B]

You mean now?

[C]

Yes, I can. Oh, boy.

[B]

Well, worry our members, here's the idea. Each week on the Worry Hour, we'll dramatize the best letter received describing your worry and how you disposed of it. And the sender of the letter chosen as the best will receive $25 in cash. Now, don't just write about your worry. The worry, you write must have been solved, as most worries are, because, well, you know as well as we do that most of the things we worry about never happen. Fancy language or decorations will not help your chances to win one whit. We just want, in your own words, the story of your worst worry that never materialized. So here's your chance to win $25. The chance for worry to be really worth something. Mail your letter to the Worry Hour in care of wsm, Nashville, Tennessee. Employees of the National Life and Accident Insurance Company and their families are not eligible to to participate in this contest. Well, now, we've been worrying for about seven and a half minutes now about all the things we wish to be and aren't. And now, while the class rests, Francis Craig plays and Snooki Landman sings Jerome Kern's lovely song, all the things you are.

[D]

You are the promised kiss of springtime that makes the lonely winter so seem long. You are the breathless hush of evening that trembles on the brink of a lovely song. You are the angel glow that lights a star. The dearest things I know are what you are. Someday my happy arms will hold you. And someday I'll know that moment divine. When all the things you are

[E]

are

[D]

mine.

[C]

$240 less. $50 less. $0.30 for lunch. Carry forward to schedule.

[B]

Professor Fret, why all the worry? Oh.

[C]

Oh, well, it's this pesky income tax return. It's got to be in by Friday.

[B]

Well, have you listed all your dependents?

[F]

Sure.

[C]

I'm taking credit for one wife, one child, two goldfish and a finance company.

[B]

But, professor, you can't take credit for exemption for the finance company. They're not dependent on you.

[C]

That's what you think. Did you ever miss a payment with one of them? Every time I'm late with one, I get a letter saying you bought this car and we're depending on it to pay. But that's not what's worrying me.

[B]

You say that isn't what's worrying you, eh? Well, then what is the cause of the mental agony?

[C]

Well, I tell you, it's this part that has me stumped. It says here on this blank, a person who during the entire year was the head of a family is entitled to an exemption of $2,500.

[B]

I see. Well, what about that?

[C]

That just goes to show you how much the government knows about such things. Whoever heard of a married man being the head of his family for a whole year at a time?

[B]

Professor. Accept the right hand of fellowship, brother.

[C]

This tax business gets more complex every year. But with your help, I got the return filled out. And now if I can just find some place to borrow the money to pay the tax. You know, Dave, here's the way it looks to me. A man has to pay Social Security taxes so he'll have an income of 65. And then they got the income tax to wear him to death before he gets there.

[B]

The 3500 shield men who represent the National Life and Accident Insurance Company in the field are all members of the Worry Hour. Professor Fret, that is. They are members by proxy. They don't have so many worries themselves, but they're busy every day helping other people remove their worries. There are a lot less worries in the world, you know, because of the benefits of life insurance. The Shield man finds a father worrying about how to guarantee his son a college education. And the worry is removed because there's a Shield Plan designed to do just that. A purchaser of a new home worries about how the balance of the mortgage would be paid if anything should happen to him. And the Shield man can fix that, too. With life insurance, the head of a family wants to find some guaranteed way to continue an income to his family after he's gone. The Shield man can arrange family income for any amount desired and for any period of time. And so goes the day of the Shield Man. Other people's worries become the Shield Man's opportunity for more service.

[C]

I see. Sure. In other words, Dave, any of the members of the Worry Hour who don't enjoy worrying, or those who aren't good worries anyway, can see the Shield man and have him arrange for them an adequate program of life insurance. And then they won't have much to worry about. Hey, Hour warriors, all in favor, say aye. Aye.

[B]

And now, Worry Hour members, here is a welcome surprise. As a guest artist on the Worry Hour, we have the pleasure of presenting the lovely Miss Kitty Talon, featured vocalist with Jack Teagarden's orchestra. I'll tell you, this is the way it happened. Maestro Francis Craig learned this afternoon that she was visiting in town and asked her if she'd come up to help us launch the Worry Hour. Well, she said if we wanted her to, and if Frances would fix up a nice arrangement for her, she would. And we did. And he did. And she did. So here she is, Miss Kitty Callan singing one of Irving Berlin's best and one of her favorites. Blue skies.

[F]

Blue skies Smiling at me

[D]

Nothing but

[F]

blue skies

[D]

do I see.

[B]

Days

[D]

all of them gone

[F]

Nothing but blue skies

[D]

from now on.

[F]

Never saw the sun shining so bright Never saw things going so right Noticing the days hurrying by when you're in

[D]

love, my heart Two days all of them gone Nothing but blue skies from now on.

[E]

Sa.

[F]

Never saw the sun shining so bright Never saw things going so right Noticing the days hurrying by when you're in

[D]

love Mile they fly.

[F]

All of them gone Nothing but blue skies from now on.

[C]

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[G]

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[B]

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[G]

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[E]

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[G]

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[C]

A little worry of my own and my wife's. Oh, why, why, hello, dear.

[E]

Hello.

[C]

I was just going to tell them about my birthday present.

[E]

Thank goodness. That doesn't worry me anymore. I'll never forget that morning and the worry.

[F]

It's.

[E]

Phineas. Phineas, wake up. It's your birthday. Wake up, dear. I want to give you your presents.

[B]

Birthday? Oh.

[C]

Oh, wise George, get up. It's my birthday. Woo hoo.

[E]

Woo.

[C]

Hey. Boy, this floor is cold. Where are my house slippers?

[E]

Just you look around and you'll find them.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Here they are. Say, what's this? These aren't my slippers. Oh, honey Dee, these are swell. Just what I wanted.

[E]

Well, your old ones were about worn out. I gave them to the janitor last night. Put them on, Phineas. I think they'll look pretty with your blue bathrobe.

[C]

Yeah. Say, these are pretty. They're good leather, too. Let's see now. This is the left one.

[E]

Well, what's the ma. Phineas fret. They're not too small.

[C]

Well, maybe just a little. Guys, I can't get my foot in this one.

[E]

Oh, well. Well, you can exchange them, darling. Just take them to town when you go. I had no idea they'd be too small. Why, if anything, I was afraid they'd be too. But I know the men Shop will be glad to exchange them for.

[C]

Come right in, sir. What can I do for you? I want to exchange these house slippers. My wife bought them for my birthday and they're too small. She said she Got them here.

[B]

I'm afraid, sir, these didn't come from here.

[C]

The men's shop does not carry this type of merchandise. Oh, I see. Well. Well, I'm sorry, old man. I thought. Sure. She said this is where she got em. Well, I'll call her after I get the office and ask her. But thanks anyway. Operator, give me 80594. Yes, please. Hello? Is that you, honey?

[E]

Yes, dear. Did you exchange them all right?

[C]

Listen, they told me at the men's shop that these slippers didn't come from there. Was that where you said you got them?

[E]

Oh, dear. Now, let me see. I got them the same place I priced a pair of suspenders for Uncle Charlie, and that was at. Oh, Phineas, I'm afraid I put you to a lot of trouble because. Because it wasn't the men's shop. It was Miller Brothers. I'm so worried about making you go on that wild horse chase.

[C]

That's all right, dear. I'll exchange them at Miller Brothers.

[B]

Yes, sir. Come right in.

[C]

I want to exchange these houses.

[B]

Exchange desk, 14th floor, please.

[C]

Oh, hey, going up. 14th floor. We got hook, scatter, rag, broadloom Oriental

[B]

rugs on this floor.

[C]

Folks want any? Isn't the exchange task on this floor, boy? Yes, sir, but I'm supposed to steer folks away from it. Oh, yeah, huh? Well, let me off. Is this exchange des? Yeah.

[B]

Too big or too little?

[C]

Oh, too little. There's some house flippers my wife got in my birthday present, and I want. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave Sunnyman out of this, buddy. Bike days don't mean nothing to us. Well, anyway, here's the slippers. Where's the sales sleep, bud? Sales slip? Oh, I'm sorry, but I haven't got.

[B]

Sorry, Bud. We'd only exchange nothing without a sales slip. And speaking of sales, the shield men, 3500 of them who represent the National Life and Accident Insurance in the field, make sales every day to thoughtful fathers and mothers who want to make their program of protection complete. And now Back to the 14th floor of Miller Brothers.

[C]

Look, I got the slippers right here. You can see them with your own eyes. I don't want to exchange the slip. I want to exchange the slippers. Let's not argue about it, Bud. Anyway, I gotta go to lunch. Ain't I craziest girl I ever seen in my life? Can you imagine that? Oh, well, I'll have to find a sales slip when I get home tonight. Look here, honey, I'm tired of hunting all over town. For a place to exchange these house slippers. Miller Brothers wants a sales slip. The men's shop says they didn't come from there. What do you say I just trade them to the janitor for my old ones and let him do the exchanging?

[E]

Nonsense, Phineas. But it does worry me that nobody seems to think I got the slippers at their store. Now, let me see. I bought them the day Mrs. Carter took me to town, and that was on Wednesday, I'm pretty sure. Phineas, dear, does that new store on Fourth street handle men's shoes?

[C]

How do I know they do if you bought these there?

[E]

Don't fuss at me. I looked all over town to get you the prettiest pair of house slippers I could find.

[F]

And that's the way you appreciate.

[C]

All right, all right. I'll go barefooted.

[F]

Oh,

[C]

now, now, now, don't worry about it.

[E]

I can't help it.

[F]

When I think of all the things.

[C]

Trouble.

[F]

I went to to get you a pair of genuine snuggle shoes. That's the kind they are. The best kind there is. See, it's stamped right inside the heel.

[E]

Phineas, look what it says. Genuine snuggle shoes. Goodman's Bootery. That's where I got them.

[F]

Goodman's Bootery.

[D]

Well, that's the way it goes.

[B]

Well, now, here's a familiar voice to WSM listeners. Jane Grant comes to the microphone to do her bit towards chasing worries out the window. As a matter of fact, she's been a little worried herself. She told me she dreamt about me last night. Think of that. She dreamt that Clark Gable and I were fighting over her. And when I asked her who won, you know what she said? She said, you did. Darn that dream.

[F]

Darn that dream I dream each night you say you love me Me and you hold me tight but when I awake you're out of sight oh, darn that dream Darn your lips and darn your eyes they lift me high above the moonlit sky Then I tumble out of paradise oh, darn that dream Darn that one track mind of mine it can't understand that you don't care Just to change the mood I'm in I'd welcome a nice old nightmare Darn that dream and bless it too without that dream I never would have you but it haunts me and it won't come true so don that dream, Sam. Darn that one track mind of mine it can't understand that you don't care Just to change this mood I'm in I'd Welcome. A nice old nightmare Darn that dream and bless it too without that dream I never would have you but it haunts me and it won't come true so darn that dream

[B]

and now Professor Phineas Fret comes back to the microphone with a last word.

[C]

Here's just a serious thought for the Worry Hour. It's a quotation, and I'm sorry, we don't know its source. It goes something like this. Why worry over it? Just make up your mind to do better when you get another chance. And this chance is coming if you live. Just thank your lucky star for the lesson.

[B]

And now, listeners, won't you take your pen in hand and write us a letter describing your worst worry and the way you waved it goodbye? For the best letter received each week, we'll arrange a dramatization and pay $25 in cash. Just write the facts we'll add the fancy work of dialogue oh, yes, and here's something of interest to our Worry Hour listeners. We've prepared a little booklet called Helpful Hints on How to Worry, which we will be only too glad to send to all of those who request it. Now, in this little booklet, we tell you all about the art of worrying, and we even go so far as to suggest some stock subjects to worry about in case you have no worries of your own. So write tonight before you forget it, to the Worry Hour in care of WSM for your copy of Helpful Hints on How To Worry. And there's the theme, reminding us that the Worry Hour is over and that we must postpone all leftover worries until next Monday night at 9:30, when the worry Hour will come again with Professor Phineas Fret presiding and Francis Craig furnishing the music. Our thanks to lovely Katie Callan, featured vocalist with Jack Teagarden and his famous orchestra, for helping us in our first Worry Hour program. And we've invited her to be with us again next week. The same invitation goes to any of our listeners who would like to join Ms. Callan. Well, as our guests next Monday, you're all invited to visit our studios and watch the program in person next week at this same time. The Worry Hour is sponsored by the National Life and Accident Insurance Company and its shield men from coast to coast. And they can save you a lot of worry by helping you make safe plans for the future with life insurance.

[C]

Good night and don't worry.

[B]

All right. Well, good night, Professor Fred. Your announcer is David Cobb, and this is the Air Castle of the. Wsm, the National Life and Accident Insurance Company, Nashville, Tennessee.