Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar 49-08-21 016 Out of the Fire Into the Frying Pan

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar 49-08-21 016 Out of the Fire Into the Frying Pan
Date: September 1, 2025
Episode Theme:
A classic radio drama featuring Johnny Dollar, America’s "fabulous freelance insurance investigator," tasked with guarding a prize hog—Rollo, Rosie Baron of Iowa—at the Carver County Fair. What starts as a simple livestock babysitting gig turns into a whirlwind of jewel theft, barnyard intrigue, comedic misunderstandings, and old-fashioned small-town detective work, all in that signature witty, sardonic tone of Golden Age radio storytelling.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

1. Setting the Scene: Arrival at the Fairground

• Johnny Dollar is dispatched by his insurance company to Carver County, Iowa, to act as bodyguard for prize-winning hog Rollo, insured for $25,000.

• Expense account details offer both narrative context and comic relief, setting up Dollar’s persistent tongue-in-cheek narration (00:03).

  “The following is an accounting of my expenditures during my assignment as bodyguard to grand blue ribbon champion spotted Poland China hog, Rosie Baron of Iowa. Or how you cast my pearls of wisdom before swine. Or out of the fire into the frying pan.”
  — Johnny Dollar (00:23)

• He navigates the fair’s "swine wing," meeting locals like Hiram and encountering the sweltering corn belt heat.

2. The Crime: Theft at the Fair (01:46–03:30)

• Chaos erupts when shots ring out at the livestock building; Mrs. Tiller’s diamond brooch is stolen amidst the confusion of photographers and crowds.

• Hiram provides comic local color, while the sheriff, Harry Blewett, enters as a gruff, suspicious, but ultimately pliable authority figure.

  “I saw something pass between you and one of the thieves just outside the door.”
  — Sheriff Blewett (03:44)

• Dollar is briefly suspected, but proves his credentials as an insurance investigator.

3. Introducing the Main Players (06:20–09:45)

• Alva Anderson, Rollo’s breeder, is sharp, knowledgeable, and quickly exchanges barbs and pig facts with Johnny Dollar.

  “I just raised Rosie Baron of Iowa from a suckling, that's all.”
  — Alva Anderson (06:43)

• Worthington Tiller, owner of Rollo and president of Blue Ribbon Prime Packing Company, sees Rollo as a marketing bonanza, not just a pig.

  “I paid Ms. Anderson $10,000 for this magnificent swine. And I don't want anything to happen to it.”
  — Worthington Tiller (07:04)

• The humorous, flirtatious banter between Johnny and Alva, and Dollar’s running commentary about pigs, publicity, and baked ham, sets a breezy tone.

  “I just couldn't stand having my tombstone read, Johnny Dollar no longer am. He gave up his life for a great big—”
  — Johnny Dollar (08:37)

4. Escalation: Grand March, Double Heist (10:10–13:13)

• During the Grand March of livestock winners, Johnny spots "Little Rocky from Arkansas," the suspected thief, driving Rollo’s chariot; a wild chase ensues.

• The parade devolves into chaos as Dollar tries (unsuccessfully) to stop the truck, ending up bruised but determined (13:14–14:39).

  “I'm the guy who goes around telling kiddies never to hitch rides on trucks. Well, nobody can say I didn't make a dent in Iowa.”
  — Johnny Dollar (14:31)

5. The Investigation: Following the Clues (14:43–19:29)

• Johnny and Sheriff Blewett brainstorm ways to track Rollo and the missing brooch, joking about making the pig act as a bloodhound via the scent of mash (15:43).

  “Suppose right after you take your ride to the top of the Ferris wheel to case the countryside, we were to get ourselves a night-hungry pig. Say, that gives me an idea.”
  — Johnny Dollar (16:12)

• Johnny strands Blewett atop the Ferris wheel to buy time.

6. Suspicion and Blame (19:29–20:51)

• Suspicions swirl around Alva Anderson, the pig’s ex-owner, with Tiller and his wife airing fears of insurance fraud and past betrayals.

  “Would this be a suggestion that we throw the young lady who sold your pig to you in the poking on the strength of something that happened 37 years ago?”
  — Johnny Dollar (20:45)

7. Climax: Pig-Napping Stand-Off (22:32–24:43)

• Johnny tracks Alva and Little Rocky to a farmhouse, finding Rollo and discovering the brooch was hidden in Rollo’s food.

• The criminals consider killing Rollo to get the brooch, but hesitate; Dollar creates a diversion with sweet potatoes, causing Rollo to knock the thieves over and allowing Johnny to subdue them.

  “Anybody dumb enough to stash a thirty thousand dollar hunk of jewelry in pig food ought to go see a head doctor.”
  — Johnny Dollar (23:18)

• Rollo is saved and the brooch is (eventually) recovered.

8. Resolution: Aftermath and Farewells (25:38–26:50)

• Tiller reveals Rollo is to be slaughtered for a promotional ceremony, to Johnny’s (and the audience’s) dismay.

  “He’s due to be slaughtered at a special ceremony. All the plans are made. Oh, I wouldn’t want to disappoint my boys. They've been looking forward to this.”
  — Worthington Tiller (25:43)

• Johnny reflects, tongue-in-cheek, on his surprising attachment to the pig, and finalizes his expense account with characteristic dry wit.

• A small coda references Johnny’s appeasement of the sheriff and a quick wrap-up of the case.

  “Gosh, who'd have ever thought I, Johnny Dollar, would ever gotten so attached to a pig?”
  — Johnny Dollar (26:08)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Grand blue ribbon champion spotted Poland China hog, Rosie Baron of Iowa. Or how you cast my pearls of wisdom before swine. Or out of the fire into the frying pan.”
  — Johnny Dollar (00:23)

• “You bought him for 10,000, insured him for 25,000, and you don't want anything to happen to him?”
  — Johnny Dollar (07:16)

• “He gave up his life for a great big—”
  — Johnny Dollar (08:37)

• “Well, I just couldn't stand having my tombstone read, Johnny Dollar no longer am.”
  — Johnny Dollar (08:37)

• “Anybody dumb enough to stash a thirty thousand dollar hunk of jewelry in pig food ought to go see a head doctor.”
  — Johnny Dollar (23:18)

• “He’s due to be slaughtered at a special ceremony. All the plans are made...”
  — Worthington Tiller (25:43)

• “Gosh, who'd have ever thought I, Johnny Dollar, would ever gotten so attached to a pig?”
  — Johnny Dollar (26:08)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Expense Account Opening / Case Introduction: 00:03–01:20
• Fairground Arrival / Meeting Hiram: 01:46–02:41
• Diamond Brooch Theft: 02:38–03:21
• Meeting Sheriff Blewett: 03:42–05:00
• Introductions: Alva Anderson & Tiller: 06:20–08:00
• Johnny and Alva’s Banter / Pig Facts: 08:55–09:45
• Grand Parade, Attempted Capture: 12:50–13:22
• Clues and Mash-Pig Tracking Idea: 14:43–16:12
• Ferris Wheel Diversion: 16:12–19:00
• Accusations Against Alva: 19:29–20:51
• Showdown at the Farmhouse: 22:32–24:43
• Rollo’s Fate & Epilogue: 25:38–26:50

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FINAL NOTES

This episode is a lively, comedic detective story packed with rural Americana, rapid-fire wit, and plenty of porcine heart. Johnny Dollar’s expense account narration gives the proceedings an ironic edge, while the supporting cast keeps the plot moving and the tone light, even as events spiral into farce and danger. The episode is both a loving sendup of the insurance mystery genre and a snapshot of Golden Age radio storytelling at its best.

Transcript

[A]

Misses Perkins won the prize, but I got in the biggest pickle at the county fair. This is another in the adventures of America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator, Johnny Dollar at insurance investigation. Johnny Dollar is only an expert at making out his expense account. He is an absolute gen expense account submitted by Special Investigator Johnny $2. Home Office, Corinthian Liability and Bonding Company, Terminal Building, Hartford, CT. The following is an accounting of my expenditures during my assignment as bodyguard to grand blue ribbon champion spotted Poland china hog, Rosie Barron of Iowa. Or how you cast my pearls of wisdom before swine. Or out of the fire into the frying pan. Rent account item one, $76.80. Train and bus fare, Hartford, to the town of Carver county, seat of Carver County, Iowa. Rent account out of 2, 251 coat, 3 handkerchiefs, a bottle of salt tablets and sunglasses with which to combat the corn belt heat. Item 3, 6 bits. Get me ride to the Carver county fairgrounds. Undoubtedly named that because the band I found in the midst of playing its afternoon concert was only fair. Hey, friend.

[B]

How's that?

[A]

I'm looking for a pig named Rosie Baron of Iowa. Tell me where I'll find his cage. Cage? They don't keep all out in no ca. Rollo. Rosie. Well, that's short for a Rosie Baron of Iowa. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Any fool would know that. Uh huh. You tell me where he is. See that building over there? The livestock building? Yeah.

[B]

You'll find Rollo in the swine wing.

[A]

Swine wing? Well, that conjures up a dainty picture. A flying pig. Afraid Rollo won't ever do much flying.

[B]

Weighs 980.

[A]

Oh, well, thanks a lot, old neighbor. Yeah, why don't you try slipping out of that there cold?

[B]

You won't find it near or sweaty.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Thanks, Hiram. No. He didn't even wait to be my best friend. Hey, wait. Wait.

[B]

I'll come with you, neighbor.

[A]

It was 96 in the shade, but things were getting hotter. Shots and screams from the livestock building were the only things that could bring me on the run with Hiram on my heels. Hey, where do you spoil that one first? I ran into a stranger just outside the entrance. Get out of the way. Let me out of here. There's a little snare. Then I ran through the door.

[B]

Somebody do something. Don't just stand there. Where's the sheriff?

[A]

Hey, Hiram. Hiram.

[B]

What happened? Didn't you see? Didn't you hear? That there woman's Mrs. Tiller. Somebody must have stole her diamond bruises.

[A]

Oh, good. I was afraid somebody might have put the Snatch on Rollo.

[B]

Her husband owns Rollo.

[A]

They must have been taking her pictures of Mrs. Tiller in the middle of a crowd. And when they had her smiling real pretty, then flashbulbs went off, and then.

[B]

Somebody must have reached around behind her. He yanked a brute and started shooting a gun in there.

[A]

That's a tried and true method of busting up a crowd to help make a getaway. Think anybody saw? Did it? Uh, couldn't. Those flashes would have had them blind as bats for a minute. Oh, uh. Oh, there's the sheriff. What's his name?

[B]

That's Harry Blewett.

[A]

Harry Blewett? Yeah. Sounds like a slogan from the Republican campaign. Hey, here, here, you wait a minute. Let me go when everybody around here is trying to get my coat. Come on, Sheriff. Lose the habitat. All right, now, never mind the fancy talk, young fella. I saw something pass between you and one of the thieves just outside the door. Oh, you're out of your mind. That guy bumped into me. He came crashing out of here, and I happened to be in the way. I'll bet you happened to be in the way accidentally on purpose. Now, that's an early American comeback, but that's the way it was. Now, look, I won't ask you for a search warrant, Sheriff. You think I got the brooch on me? Start looking. All right, I will. All right. Now, in that pocket, cigarettes and a lighter. I see them. You see? And in that pocket, handkerchiefs and salt tablets. Salt? Mm. Now, why don't you look in my inside tote pocket, and there you'll find my wallet and identification. I was coming to that. Where, Dolly? Insurance investigator, Hartford. Well, what brought you out here? I'm a piggy sitter for the Corinthian Liability and Bonding Company. They wrote a policy for $25,000 on your friend Rollo Rosie Baron of Iowa. Who ever heard of taking out a $25,000 insurance policy on a hog? I did. And right now I wish I hadn't. Some people pay high premiums for publicity, Sheriff, and that's what the Blue Ribbon Prime Packing Company is doing in this case. Now, may I have my wallet back? I want to count my money. Now, here. All right. Here's your wallet. You may think you're quite the joker, young fellow, but I'm telling you right now, I'm going to keep an eye on you. I got a better idea than that, Harry. If I were you, I'd go looking for that photographer. Why? What did he do? He took the picture. And there's just a chance the thief may be in it. Say, that gives me an idea, Sheriff. Whoever says you aren't smart makes no mistake. Rollo. The prize porker wasn't hard to find. First, I followed a few signs. Then it was a matter of closing in on a contented series of juicy, slurping grunts that came burping up out of a succulent mound of Louisiana yams. Rolo was all fat and a yard wide, but his cable manners weren't much. He didn't look very smart, but he sure looked healthy. Nine hundred and eighty pounds. A fine figure of a pig. Pardon me, miss. Could you tell me who's in charge around here?

[B]

Well, just for the moment, I am.

[A]

I'm trying to find a Mr. Worthington Tiller, who, I take it, owns this monster.

[B]

Monster? What? What?

[A]

What's the matter? Have I said something wrong?

[B]

You certainly have. And you've also said it to the wrong person. In case you don't know it, my name is Alva Anderson.

[A]

Oh, my name is Johnny Dollar. How do you do? What's all this got to do with Rolo?

[B]

Nothing. I just raised Rosie Baron of Iowa from a suckling, that's all.

[A]

Trying to get away from you, didn't it? I'm sorry, Ms. Anderson. I apologize to you too, Rollo. Sorry about the interruption, Miss Anderson. Some fool made off with my wife's diamond brooch. How's this excitement affecting Rollo? Whom? I hope he hasn't lost any weight.

[B]

Oh, you took it very well, Mr. Taylor.

[A]

Oh, good, good.

[B]

This gentleman wants to see you, Mr. Dollar.

[A]

Oh, yes. Oh, from the insurance company. Good, good. Well, I'm glad you're here. We'll have your picture taken right away with my wife and. And Rollo. Oh, it'll make grand publicity for Blue Ribbon Prime Packers. I don't mind having my picture taken. Just so long as your wife doesn't mind having people pinch your diamond brooches. Oh, well, don't worry about that. It was fully insured. Oh, that kind. The thing I want you to worry about is Rollo here. As president of Blue ribbon, I paid Ms. Anderson $10,000 for this magnificent swine. And I don't want anything to happen to it. You bought him for 10,000, insured him for 25,000, and you don't want anything to happen to him? Well, I don't mind paying those exorbitant premiums when I get back. The kind of publicity this will bring in. I can see it in the papers now. America's fabulous insurance investigator, Johnny Dollar, sent from Hartford, Connecticut, to guard the life of that fabulous prize swine, Rosie Baron of Iowa. Well, Mr. Tiller, I don't mind getting my name in the paper for a pig, just so long as it is not in the obituary column. I just couldn't stand having my tombstone read, johnny Dollar no longer am. He gave up his life for a great big. The tombstone tagline was over the head of Mr. Tiller. But it went over right nicely with Alva Anderson, who paid off with a smile. I parlayed that into a conversation. Helped me pass the time while guarding Rollo, the poor man's blue boy. By the time it was over, Alva knew a lot about me and I knew a lot about pigs. You know, you're a Beautiful eyes, Alva.

[B]

Mr. Dollar, do you know what's really interesting about the origin of swine? Why, it's estimated that the Chinese people domesticated swine about 2,900 BC.

[A]

And not only that, but I'm sure you'd like heartburn.

[B]

Mr. Dollar, you probably don't know this, but a pig is one of the most important food animals. It's an economical converter of grain and other seeds in the body tissue, as the product of which burns leaf and fat for human consumption.

[A]

Alva, darling, I'll only be in town for a little while.

[B]

And not only that, but people who say the pigs are dirty don't know what they're talking about. Why, sanitation is essential to good health, rapid growth and development and profitable production.

[A]

Oh, Ronald, what have you got that I haven't got? I still don't know whether Alva stuck around because of my charms or Rollo's. But she was still there at the changing of the guard when Mr. Tiller in person came to relieve me long enough for a trip to the dining hall. And what do you think they had for dinner? What else? Baked ham.

[B]

Oh, dinner was wonderful.

[A]

Johnny, coming from you after eating baked ham, that sounds practically cannibalistic.

[B]

Oh, Johnny, stop. More coffee?

[A]

No, I've had it. Alva, you know, there's something I've been trying to say to you for the past five hours.

[B]

Yes, Johnny?

[A]

Well, it's just that I want.

[B]

Oh, he's so.

[A]

Why doesn't he blow his fire on me?

[B]

Well, I have to be going. It's time to get Rallo ready for the winners trade past the grandstand. I'll just run along.

[A]

I'll just go with you. I want to talk to you.

[B]

I will. I'll see you later, Johnny.

[A]

Yeah. Well, Sheriff. Hey, you being a sort of investigator. $, I knew you'd be interested in my message. You're sure interfering with mine. Yeah. Oh, well, do you know what I did? What? I found that photographer, had that picture developed and rushed it up to the state capitol. And they just called me Dollar. There's a known criminal in that photo. He's got that brooch and he's. Do you know what that means? Yeah, it means that you shouldn't be sitting here talking to me. Who is this villain? They say he's over here. Yeah, they say he's known as Little Rocket. Originally hailed from Arkansas. You'd know him if you saw him. He's the fella that bumped into you. I want you to help me look for him. I take only one job at a time, Sheriff. Right now I got a pig tomorrow. I think it was the Grand March. Or in case I'm interested later, how much do you pay your special deputies a day? $7 and expensive. Sheriff Blew it. I'm afraid that blows it. The Carver County Pickle and pie winners were lining up to lead the Grand March. By the time I got to the grandstand. Down at the tag end of the livestock echelon there was a shiny white cabin. Trailers sporting the markings and mottos of the Blue Ribbon Prime Packing Company. And high upon it, perched on a platform and surrounded by a sturdy iron railing, stood that champion, the pride of the fort set, Rollo. Rosie Baron of Iowa. It was lovely. It was divine. I had a feeling that swelled my heart with pride. Here they were, products of the American home and the American soils. A fanfare of foodstuffs flowing from the horn of plenty. Just because of my association with Rollo, I felt that I was playing some small parts in this gallant parade as it was started the first leg of its journey. It was inspiring. It was thrilling. It was boring. All of a sudden, it was downright frightening. As Rollo's chariot rolled by, I got an eyeful of its driver. It was my comrade in collision, the guy who had put the snatch on Mrs. Killer's diamond. Little Rocky from Arkansas. I added to my treasury of thankless tasks by trying to pin a tackle on a five ton truck. Go ahead with one half. Let me more with one foot and a mouthless feet from an unexpected adversary.

[B]

Knock him loose, Marlo.

[A]

He's on the running board. Hey, what the. Everybody was screaming and hollering. The stuck and crashed into the rolo. Rosie Baron of Iowa was one little piggy who wasn't staying at home. In just a moment, the second act of Johnny Dollar. But first, taking in the action from Johnny Dollar. Are you all right? That's good, because staying with CBS is the way you'll head straight for the big return from vacation eight days from now, Monday, the 29th of Lux Radio Theater and all the other big Monday night CBS favorites. And by staying with cbs, you'll find more action later tonight with Bill Grant of Call the Police. And with Sam Spade, who will be heard from on most of these same CBS stations. Now, with our star, Charles Russell, we return to the second act of yours truly, Johnny Dollar.

[B]

Johnny. Johnny, are you all right? When you get up.

[A]

I'm not sure about my spine.

[B]

Let me help.

[A]

I'm the guy who goes around telling kiddies never to hitch rides on trucks. Well, nobody can say I didn't make a dent in Iowa.

[B]

It was wonderful the way you tried, but what are you gonna do now?

[A]

Right now, I don't know. The only place I can think of at the moment where I might find a hot pig is a barbecue stand.

[B]

This is no time to be funny.

[A]

Look, up until now, all the laughs are on me. Kids. Let me be the judge, huh?

[B]

Well, what are you going to do?

[A]

Well, first I'm going to practice my arithmetic and see what adds up. You can't unload a stolen thing in a pawn shop. So question number one is, where do you unload it? Where would you go?

[B]

Where would I was. I never thought of it.

[A]

Well, here's what I figured. The rolo on the hoof is too well known to pedal for anything like the dough he's really worth. I mean, he's not like a big diamond that can cut up in little. Or is he? What is the going price on Forks?

[B]

The market this morning was 23.50.

[A]

That kind of money hardly sounds like little rocky kind of project. But maybe things are tough. By the way, Alva, have you ever been in Arkansas by any chance?

[B]

YGI just wonder.

[A]

Just a minute. I want to talk to you. Oh, Bronya had blood on himself. Yeah. Sheriff, would you mind?

[B]

Alvin, I was just leaving.

[A]

How could she be that cold on such a hot night, huh? What's bothering you, Sheriff? I saw your little performance Dollar, when you leapt at that truck. Just how hard was you really trying? How hard was I? I ought to punch you in the nose, badge or no badge. Now, now, don't you go getting huffy. I just want you to know that I don't fool easy when I'm on a case. I'm suspicious. Of me? That must be rough on your wife. How often do you have her in handcuffs, huh? Well, now, look, Sheriff, all I need from you is the use of a car so I can go looking for old Lard. Oh, no, you don't. There's enough missing around here as it is. Rollo, Ms. Tiller's jewelry. And I ain't about to add a county vehicle to the mess. And besides, I want to keep an eye on you. Good. You might learn something. Come on. Here, wait a minute. Where are you going? Over to the Ferris wheel. That truck hasn't been off the fairgrounds more than a couple of minutes. I want to get a look at the countryside. Ferris wheel? Say, that gives me an idea. I hoped it would. Come on. Say, Sheriff, I don't know very much about this farmside sorting racket. Well, there's more to it than meets the eyes, I can tell you that. Oh, I bet there is. Tell me, didn't I see a feed trough on Rollo's truck with a lot of mash in it? Well, now, let's see. If he ate yams this afternoon, he'd eat mash tonight. All right. Does mash kick up any kind of a smell? Oh, sour swill. But the pig seems to like it. How does this sound? You, Sheriff? Suppose right after you take your ride to the top of the Ferris wheel to case the countryside, we were to get ourselves a night hungry pig. Say, that gives me an idea. We could take that pig, and he could smell that mash in the air and sniff out the trail of that truck. Sheriff, if you aren't a genius, I wouldn't be surprised. Oh, sure, it was planting time in Iowa that night, at least for ideas, two of which I had planted in the not too fertile mind of Sheriff Harry Blewett. And as long as it took us to walk in the trotting track to the Ferris wheel, it came harvest time for notion number one. Okay, mister. Okay. I'm the sheriff. I want you to run me up to the top of that wheel and hold me there long enough for me to get a look around. When the wheel came to a stop with Harry Blewett sitting in his little cage at the top, I pulled a low trick on a high sheriff. I bought a pink lemonade from a juice stand next to the Ferris wheel, walked over to the motor that rolled the big heat, unscrewed the cap on the gas tank, gave it a big, long drink. I hope it wasn't doing to people's stomachs what it did to that motor. You might well remember this harmless little deceit. The Next time you have occasion to get rid of a sheriff, this kind of publicity is a little too expensive. Dollar I demand that you do something. Now don't worry, Mr. Tiller. I am going to do something. And I'll thank you to remember that. The only ones who stand to get hurt right at this point are the insurance companies that wrote the policies on your pig and your wife's diamond brooch.

[B]

Why, Worthington, I hadn't thought of that. Why should we worry? My brooch is insured for way over the value.

[A]

Hortense, you keep slapping that loud tongue of yours, the first thing you know they'll be accusing us. Why, they wouldn't dare. Oh, yes, we would, Mrs. Hillary. A $15,000 profit on a pig and whatever else you could make on your jewelry might make anybody the type. I thank you, Bouncy. Here. I've had just about enough of your slanderous implications. I have a few thoughts you might profit by.

[B]

Go ahead, Wesley.

[A]

I'm always interested in profits. Killer. My father had the same thing happen to him back in 19.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Remember, dear?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

In Nebraska he bought a prize pig at a fancy price and then the scoundrel that sold it to him turned around and stole it back there. See? What do you think of that? Would this be a suggestion that we throw the young lady who sold your pig to you in the poking on the strength of something that happened 37 years ago? Well, that's for you to decide. $Just don't say I didn't warn you. I see. If you don't have an orchid depend on a young lady, try suspicion. With most of the crowd packed in the grandstand watching the free attraction, I had a good chance to scout the fairground for Alba Anderson, from whom I wanted to learn a little bit more about the habits of not only pigs, but their ex owners. A trail led me past the home baked cake, hybrid corn, the watermelon pickles, fracture and harrow exhibits and all the way back to where I first met her. Rollo's tent in the swine wing of the livestock building. When I got there, Rollo's cupboard was bare. Alva was leaving for the rear door in the company of a small, tough looking gent carrying a sack over his shoulder, name of Little Rocky from Arkansas. I could hardly believe it, but they plowed into a car and rolled off up the road. At the risk of adding one last insult for the most recent injury I'd inflicted upon Sheriff Blewett, I stole his car and went Justin up the highway in Hot pursuit. There's nothing easier to follow than a red tail light on a clear night and a bright Mazda Ruby tacked onto the rear of little Rocky's car led me around the village of Carver and 11 miles out to the pastures. To a shack hidden in a grove of elm trees 100 yards off the road. I parked the car. I legged it in 25ft away from the house. I could crawl the roll through an open window. They were all there. The Rocky strong arm man who would knock me off the running board. Alva, Anderson and Lance. But doctor sleep, there was Volo, all 980 pounds of them. And most important to me, still alive. Here you are, Milo, you stupid clown. This is all the sweet potatoes that was left. First we go through them and then we'll be ready for you, Albert.

[B]

Oh, but I told you I don't have it.

[A]

We'll see about that later. Hey, Milo, don't get the porker excited. I didn't care what the sack on the. Then when we look at him, we throw him out the window and away from him. Now hurry up. All right. Well, it ain't this one. Huh? Ain't this one either. Nope. Ain't this one. Shut up. Just look. Well, I just from nowhere from you no thinking. Anybody dumb enough to stash a thirty thousand dollar hunk of jewelry and pit food ought to go see a head doctor. Come on. Come on. Through the open window, I was being bombarded by sweeper potatoes and bank. While making a getaway after ripping the brooch from Mrs. Tiller's throat, Rocky's accomplice had suffered a sudden attack of panic and had hidden the br in one of Rollo's lunchtime yams. Whether that yam was inside the piggy or out, they and I were apparently just on the verge of learning. That means your little friend here had a $30,000 snack today. Which right now has given me a great big belly ache. You know all about pigs. What do we do about it? Well, Rocky was yellow. He wouldn't rub them out. Look who's talking. Here, take my.38 if you're so tough. Yeah, I thought so. Now shut up. Well, I ain't killing no piggy with him just standing there looking at me. If he'd only make a break for it, I'd mow him down. Now look, baby, we'll kill him if we got her. We want that chunk of ice and we want it fast. Milo sees him into the corner with a sweet potato. We're throwing them all out the window.

[B]

Oh, please, Mr. Rocky.

[A]

You sit up too, and sit down. Close your eyes if you want to.

[B]

Oh, please, Mr. Roger.

[A]

In the manner of Sheriff Blewett, I had a idea given to the of course, by Rocky. Albert was sitting in the corner. Ronald was scratching his side by rubbing it against the object. And Rocky and Milo were standing shoulder to shoulder in the middle of the room, ready to advance on him. I groped around the dark until I found one of the yan. And taking the sweet potato delicately in my hand, I tossed it through the windows so they would roll to a point just behind Rocky and his paddle. Milo. Rollo took my bait and getting to it, knocked his two would be executioners in a heap on the floor. I took over from there, jumping to the window and applying a kitchen chair suitably to the Siberian, reducing enemies to a state of unconscious surrender. They gave out. Alba gave up. And Rollo gave me a dirty look. Well, McTiller, here he is, safe and sound. Good as new. Fat and sassy. Well, well, good, good. Congratulations. And not only that, but in him someplace. He not only has a good fighting heart, but also that diamond brooch of your wife's. Oh, yeah, it's very interesting. Very interesting. Well, I'd better go charter a plane. Rollo is due in Kansas City at noon tomorrow.

[B]

But it might upset him, Mr. Tiller. Rosie Baron of Iowa's never flown before. He might lose weight.

[A]

Yeah, what's the big hurry to get him to Kansas City? He booked for a personal appearance. Oh, no, no, no. Hardly that. He's due to be slaughtered at a special ceremony. All the plans are made. Oh, I wouldn't want to disappoint my boys. They've been looking forward to this. How do you like that? It's almost murdered poor Rollo.

[B]

Oh, Johnny.

[A]

Come on, let's get out of here. Aldo. Gosh, who'd have ever thought I, Johnny Dollars, would ever gotten so attached to a pig? Expense Account, Item 4. 350. Dinner for Alva and me. A vegetable dinner, by the way. And speaking of, that reminds me, if you find a $30,000 brooch in a pork, it'll only mean that the Blue Ribbon Prime Packing Company didn't have much luck when they went looking for it. Expense account item 5. $20. One new gold plated badge, which I sent the sheriff, Harry Blewett, appeasement for having stranded him atop that Ferris wheel. For stealing his car and for suggesting that he use a hungry pig for a bloodhound. Or the porter followed the mash fence. All right. Next morning they found Sheriff Blewett searching an old mash factory eight miles the wrong side of town. Item six, $76.80 bus and train fare, Carver, Iowa, back to Hartford, Connecticut. Well, I'm still wondering every morning at breakfast time, what else can you eat with eggs except ham or bacon or sausage? And maybe you don't think that's a problem, having known a certain champion named Rollo. Rosie Baron of Iowa. Expense account total $1463. Yours truly, Johnny Doll. Yours truly, Johnny Dollar is produced and directed by Norman Macdonald and stars Charles Russell with strip by Paul Dudley and Gil Dowd. Featured in the cast were Parley Bear, Sammy Hill and John Boehner with Junius Matthews, Anne Morrison, Jack Crucian and Paul dubose Pinto Colvig with Rollo. The special music is written and conducted by Lee Steven. Be sure to be with us at the same time next week when another most unusual expense account is handed in by yours truly, Johnny Dollar. Your Hit Parade on Parade will be back tonight in the familiar stage. CBS. Jack, many times with the great tunes of August 12 years ago, sweetly Lonnie and Where or When. Many another still green in your memory will be among the hits you will hear. Speaking of hits, put down August 29 this year in your little book. That's when Arthur Godfrey and his Helen scouts the stars of Lux Radio Theater. My friend Irma and Bob Hawk return to join Inner Sanctum. So make your Monday night a regular date with cbs. This is Roy Rowan speaking. Stay tuned now for your hit Parade on Parade. This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.