← Highest Self Podcast®
Highest Self Podcast®
610: How to Reclaim Your Feminine Power + Awaken Your Yoni Wisdom with Shiva Rose
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- [00:00]
A
For people who are like, why do they keep saying yoni? What does that mean? It is the Sanskrit word for the portal between two worlds. So, you know, we minimize it to this, like, medical term of, like, the vagina and the vulva. But the yoni actually encompasses all. And the womb, but it's also spiritual and energetic. So yoni is, like, the most sacred, like, object. When you go to temples and altars, they have entire yoni pujas, which are, like, blessings and rituals where they create statues and they give milk and flowers. And as well as for the lingam, which is the masculine counterpart, which we would deflect as, like, a penis, but it's actually what creates life. And the two of them, it's like Shiva and Shakti, which are the primordial feminine and masculine deities, God and goddess. And these two coming together, it's the most powerful thing. And it's something that, like, our modern society wants to tear apart. You know, it wants to tear apart divine union. It wants everyone to just be, like, on their own. Men with their porns, girl with their vibrators. You don't need each other. We do each other, but we need to restore right relations with each other, not use each other as mutual masturbation tools, which is what most people are doing. So, yeah, in my own experience, like, I feel like it's even like, breaking apart, like sexuality with a partner versus sexuality with yourself.
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B
Let go. Trust flows sooner.
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A
Let go.
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B
I'm the one I've been waiting for.
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A
Welcome back to the Highest Self podcast. My name is Sahara Rose, and on this podcast, I love to take spirituality, matters of the heart, the divine feminine, but make it modern, fun, relatable, so it can actually serve your needs. So I've been on my spiritual journey for over 10 years, and it's funny because when I started my spiritual journey, I was like, to be spiritual is to do yoga and meditate and, you know, be enlightened one day, hopefully fully. And what I've learned is that spirituality, especially the path of the feminine, is the body. It's your pleasure, it's your enjoyment, it's your beauty, it's your sensuality, it's your love. And that really showed me that a lot of the things that I naturally, you know, was called to. I'm such a, you know, lover girl. I love adorning myself. I love nature and beauty. I realized that those weren't separate from the spiritual practice, but they are the spiritual practice. So if you have felt always in your heart that your intuition is guiding you towards More ritual, more ceremony, more beauty in your life, then you are on a divine, feminine, spiritual path. So welcome. You are so welcome here in Highest self podcast. And I love bringing my personal friends and teachers on this podcast and today is one of those. She has always been a role model for me. I came across her book over a decade ago, I will say, and she is Persian as well. And I was like, I have never seen a Persian fellow priestess in my life. You know, because most women from Iran are conditioned to probably, maybe where your family's from. If you're Filipino or Hispanic, it's like you're either like the motherly good girl or you're like a bad girl. And in that you had to choose one. And what I loved about witnessing Shiva and what I felt within myself was to be full spectrum, to be multi dimensional, to be a mystic, but also to love, you know, adorning yourself with sacred oils and to be at your alter, but also have a self pleasure practice and seeing them as one in the same. So I came across her books on beauty, which many other people have as well from the likes of Kourtney Kardashian and Gwyneth Paltrow and beyond. But what I especially love about her is she teaches the ways of the water. So if you are someone that has been always drawn to the water, if you've noticed here on podcast, I always have a seashell with me. I'm like a mermaid. So if you love the ocean, the rivers, the lakes, you're drawn to water. When you look out in water, you feel calmness. This is actually a sign that you may be a reincarnated water priestess, you may be a mermaid. And what that actually means is that water is part of your spiritual path. And water isn't just the literal water, like nature, but it's the waters within ourselves. You know, our waters are our sensuality, our creativity, our sacral chakra. So we're going to really be diving into how to incorporate sensuality into our spiritual practice. Talking about the yoni. You're not familiar with that word? You're about to find out and beyond. And before we drop into this episode, be sure to hit subscribe wherever you're listening to this podcast. That is the best way to stay up to date on the latest episodes. We've got this in video format, so if you're just hearing my voice, be sure to also watch our fabulous outfits on video as well on Spotify, YouTube or the Apple Store. This is the best way to stay in the flow with future conversations and Also allows the podcast to reach more people. So hit subscribe so I can keep vibing with you on all future episodes. Now let's get into this one. So without further ado, let's welcome Shiva Rose to the Highest self podcast.
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B
Welcome.
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A
Hi, Salam. We're speaking Farsi here, so I would love to start. What brought you into this divine, feminine, spiritual pathway?
- [05:29]
B
You know, first of all, I'm like, feeling a little emotional because I feel like, like you said earlier, just to find a kindred spirit. And I think I listened to one of your podcasts where you were talking about sort of healing your ancestral line with the women. And I think that was then I reached out to you and it's just. And then earlier we were talking about how there's some things happening in Iran, which is my father's land, my mother's land. I do have to say she's American, Native American, German, Irish. So I have the blend of two. But yes, the Persian roots where I lived for the first 10 years of my life are so dear to me. So I just feel very honored to be here and to hear your words and thank you. You know, I think probably like you, I was just an unusual kid. Like, I think from the get go, I used to make altars. I would cry when I'd see trees fallen. I was, you know, obsessed with water. I think I. I honestly think you come into this world sometimes, many of us, and we feel like aliens probably for a better part of our lives until we realize that, oh, we have a calling and there's a reason. So I do believe, like, it's always been in me. But it wasn't until I probably hit rock bottom, you know, after a divorce with someone I was with for 16 years and two children and life threatening autoimmune issues. Like, it wasn't until I was on that floor crying that I really began to do the work and then feel that connection to spirit and source and then wanting to help others achieve it and just knowing that that is where our true lies is that connection to ourselves and to spirit. So I guess that's the long story short.
- [07:19]
A
I so resonate with that. Being on your knees, the dark night of the soul and mine after my divorce is definitely what amplified my spiritual pathway. And I believe that sometimes our souls chose those unique experiences because it breaks everything open. And in that breaking open, you can craft something completely new and that it doesn't have to be so hard and rigid, but you can choose a way of ease and grace and flow. So can you Share a little bit about the waters. And also, even going back, I feel like the word priestess, oracle, these are words that we maybe heard of, but we're like, is that Gandalf and Lord of the Rings? So what does it mean to you to be a modern priestess oracle mystic?
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B
Well, you know, it's interesting. In my course, the Waterways of the Feminine Mystique, I have a whole chapter in there on women because, you know, it used to be women would live to 50, right? But now women and men are living to 80s, 90s, maybe even 100. And it used to be in the goddess language or themes. There was three prototypes. There was Maiden, Mother, Crone. And, you know, it's a lot of people in the goddess communities and the spiritual communities are realizing that, yes, we don't become. There's a. There's a chapter between mother and crone. You know, possibly the crone comes later in your 60s and 70s. But there's an area maybe after, you know, your 40s and 50s, where you reach this place which many call priestess, enchantress, medicine woman, maga. It's sort of like you've gathered all this information and you've raised your children and now you're ready to, you know, share it. Share it with the community. Because we really cannot. We can't be happy even on our own, unless as a collective, we are happy, right? We are such. It's such a mirror. Like, we can't be enjoying the fruits of our labor or if our friends are suffering or struggling or our world. And right now we're living in such a tumultuous time. It's very hard to, like, walk that line. However, we do have to raise the vibration of the planet right now. And how we do that is by going into our inner priestess, our inner, you know, our inner medicine woman or men. And. And this is, like, the work that I'm so passionate about.
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A
I love that so much. And, you know, it's interesting that that pathway of maiden, which is like the girl in us, you know, that she wants attention and validation. And she's also very, like, innocent, but kind of naive, and she falls for the bad boy, you know, and then the initiation into, like, motherhood. But I even feel like now that's like, womanhood, you know, because some women don't physically have children. But it's that initiation of, you know, for me, it was actually really sitting with the medicine of Wachuma that really was my initiation into womanhood. And it showed me all of the ways that I still had girl consciousness in me. And it was like, if you want to be with a man, you must be embodying your inner woman.
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B
Right.
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A
And I feel a lot of us are still operating from that princess consciousness of waiting for a man to save us.
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B
Yes.
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A
You know, he's going to come and then everything in life is going to be figured out and I won't have to work anymore and this and that. And it's like, you know, this feminine fantasy. And I feel like that can be the shadow of the maiden. You know, that we want the fantasy so bad that we don't look at, you know, there's leaks and cracks and all the things. They're like. But no, it's going to change, you know, and that initiation into womanhood, which is sovereignty of like, no matter what happens. I got me.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And that doesn't mean I close my heart. I'm still open to connections and experiences, but I'm not looking for someone to save me from myself.
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B
Right.
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A
The cavalry exactly is self abandoning.
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B
Yes. Yes. And it's a hard pill to realize, you know, when we realize that there isn't somebody coming for us but we. The love that we have to imbue ourselves with ourselves. We have to give ourselves that love. And I think this is what happens when you have been through such deep heartbreak or divorce or something like that, you know, that then if it happens again, you will never be like you were. Because you now know that the greatest love is the love between you and source and everything else. Of course we want our partner, we want a beloved, we want a mirror. We want to find that person. However, it will never be to that level where we, if it doesn't work, that you are like ready to die. You know, I think that's the one good thing about. I mean, there's many good things, but that's the truly the pivotal. You learn to become get that love from somewhere else.
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A
Totally. And I think that that's the blessing because. Yeah. When you've experienced that heartbreak that you never expected before, then you're like, no matter what happens, I got me.
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B
Yes.
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A
You know, no matter what. Because it's like life is unexpected. Life is the unknown. So that's also the goddess.
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B
Yes.
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A
You know, the goddess is not Kali, meaning dark. Like we are in Kal Yuga right now.
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B
Right.
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A
I feel as a society, we're so afraid of the darkness. We're afraid of the deep waters, you know, but it's like in waters. That's where the mermaids play.
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B
Exactly. But this also goes into like Women getting older and, like, going into that next, like the. The fear of that. But, you know, in my course, I also looked at, you know, we burned 19 mil, some say 19 million women at the stake. You know, witches and herbalists and medicine women.
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A
That is like.
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B
I'm like, yes, some say 19 million over the course of.
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A
True. Because it was mostly in. In Europe. People think it was just in Salem. Well, actually in Salem for a year. It was for. For a thousand plus years and years before. And also in Africa still today in South America.
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B
Stoning women, stoning women and brujas being.
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A
Like medicine people because of the Catholicism being killed. That still happens today.
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B
But those were generally women, older women too. So we wiped out that lineage. So for us, like, it's also hard to find. I think now we are in this time that. This exciting time we're living, but it was probably hard to find role models and people might be afraid, you know, to speak their truth or be priestesses. It's like in our DNA. So I really feel like this is an exciting time. Yes, it's the Kali Durga. It's a very tumultuous time. But it's also. Many people say it's the time of the goddess. Like, this is the rising of the. We throw that word divine feminine around a lot. But I really feel like something is happening on a collective where, you know, we're actually honoring these things, these things that maybe we did in patri and matriarchal societies, you know.
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A
So how can beauty adornment and ritual be part of our spiritual practice?
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B
Well, I feel like beauty is medicine, and beauty is. Is almost like a. Not. I wouldn't say a religion, but it can be healing. And in my book, whole beauty, I talk about how that healed me of autoimmune issues. I was told I had a year to live. After the birth of my first daughter. I was diagnosed with lupus, scleroderma and rheumatoid arthritis. And, you know, through that process, I ended up finding holistic medicine, functional medicine. And by the way, healing is circular. It's not linear. You take a step forward, one step back, two steps forward, three steps back. So it took many years to get on the path of healing. It was circular. However, it was the beauty that really helped heal me. I was an actress, so I was, like, surrounded by beautiful things. But before that, I was always drawn to, like, poetry and books and beautiful books and flowers and. And, you know, things that just evoke that connection to God and spirit, which is what beauty can do. Beauty can be your medicine. So when I was going through the divorce and I started to heal myself through Kundalini Yoga, and I started to clean up my diet, and then I realized, oh, our products are toxic that we put on our bodies. So I created my clean product line. And. And it was then through ritual, because it's one thing to, like, feel beautiful on the outside, but it's really those people that walk into a room that can light up a room with their spirit and their essence, and they may not have that most expensive cream on. It's just truly a light from within. So then I got really fascinated with that, the idea of beauty and how to cultivate that light within us through intentions and rituals and honoring and gratitude and, you know, the things that we. We love to do.
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A
Thank you so much for sharing that, because I similarly had that experience of, you know, I was, like, not focused on my looks at all. When you go into a spiritual journey, especially through, like, a more yogic path, you're just. I was just wearing all white, loose, no makeup ever. Never did my hair, which is, like, beautiful. And I think it's a very big part of the journey. And I was just like, I don't understand why women are, you know, brainwashed by the fashion industry. And it's true, because that's not true beauty, right?
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B
Beauty.
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A
Not the makeup sold at Sephora. Beauty is not keeping up with whatever trend is happening right now. But it was actually through my divorce when, you know, I felt so sad, so much grief inside. But if I just, like, put on a cuter outfit or I just took extra time to, like, do some gua sha on my face or to, like. Then I got a facial steamer, and then I started going to yoni steams, and, like, just these practices became a meditation for me.
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B
Yeah. Yes.
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A
You know, because I couldn't just, like. It was hard for me to just sit and do nothing, imitate, because I felt so sad. But then something that I was doing that was, like, enhancing me, that felt pleasurable, like, even just, like, touching my hair, like, putting oil in my hair. And it started bringing me back to the thousands of years that that was woman's spiritual practice, that the woman would gather together, you know, in the red tent or in the. In the Hindu palace or wherever else, and they're, like, putting oil in their hair and henna and braiding it and show other temple dances. And I was like, oh, my gosh. I, like, deeply long for that. I deeply long to live in, like, a coven of a woman where we're like drinking herbal teas.
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B
Well, you know, women's DNA changes when they're around other women. Whenever I hold retreats and gatherings, I mean, that is. That is a fact. Women's DNA changes. And at one time we did. We lived together and it was like such a beautiful. We had that village, we had that community, we had that red tent, you know, and we've lost that. We've become so isolated. And instead we're, you know, it's competitive or it's suspicious and. And yes, a lot of that is probably forced upon us. I also think that's a way to keep us down. Can you imagine if we all rose? I mean, if all the women. Well, the women of Iran did rise and it was pretty incredible for a while, but they are afraid. I feel like that's such a powerful force. The force of life, the force of the ability to give life can also take life. Life, you know, how powerful that is to tap into that?
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A
And that is the feminine is like we are life giving life back to life itself. Like, we are creative blossoms. And. And especially when a woman is like in her own self love, she just multiplies everything around her, you know, and it's like that's how you can kind of tell if you're in the right relationship, you know, because as women, I feel we're kind of like Kirby, like, which is this character in Super Smash Brothers. I'm giving you the reference. But it's like this character that it takes on whoever the character in front of it is, and it. And it amplifies its powers, you know, And I feel like for a woman who you're in relationship with, even friendship, even like your home environment, you will amplify that.
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B
Yes.
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A
So if there is an element of like, that person is like feeding off your energy, you're going to feel so depleted, you know, but if someone is giving life back to you, you'll amplify that life tenfold. You know, it's like we.
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B
We spread these seeds, which is water. And that's why the water is the feminine, because water has the same capacity. It can amplify, you know, and nourish it. Does it? It's like a magnetizer. When it's happy, when water is happy, when it's free, when it's not dammed up. Because if it's damned, it becomes stagnant. It has to be free. It has to be like these rivers, because there's so much bad news out there. But there is one good thing happening, a few good things. But they are finally breaking down the dams that have been damming the rivers of America, the wild rivers, that there's dams everywhere. There's so many dams you can't even count them. But somebody went around, you know, in the turn of that dream was like, I'm going to dam all the rivers. And so the rivers had been held captive and then the fish die and the plants die and then the bird. You know, it has this reciprocal effect. But right now there are, they're slowly unleashing these dams and it's like incredible because that's truly what a woman is. It's like a woman who, who's, you know, bounded and just like water has to be in a vortex in the natural world, so does a woman. You know, we have to be able to do that creative thing.
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A
So I want to dive deeper into the waters and how they reflect our sensuality and sexuality and how we can become a more gushing woman. You know, I know the subject of Amrita. Yes. So, okay, let's start with what is Amrita?
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B
Well, well, first of all, being half Persian and growing up in Iran, I mean, I like, it's so ironic because I nobody was more shy about this stuff than myself. And then it's very ironic because my ex husband's stepmom is Eve Ensler who wrote the Vagina Monologues and she wrote one of the monologues about the birth of my daughter. So for me, and I would be horrendous, like cowering in the back of the theater when she would say, and this is from my daughter in law, Shiva, because it was all about my yoni giving birth. And. But I had such shame around that, you know, so it wasn't until recently really that I've, you know, in my age now that I'm really embracing the power of the yoni and Amrita, which is this incredible fluid, it's called God of the Nectars. That's what Amrita is. And it's the thing that we create when we are aroused. And it's not urine and it is, is truly a mystical power and experience. And this is why it was very revered in older cultures and it was considered sacred. And yes, we can create that in our bodies. And it's this fountain, this fountain of, you know, that's such a beautiful thing. But definitely being hydrated, having electrolytes, minerals, nervous system. I mean there is, I've realized, a formula to getting to that place. You have to really work on those things. And you know, it breaks my heart that women can Go their whole lives without experiencing that. And, you know, the porn industry, I always say the porn. I don't know if you'll agree with this. This might be with the younger people, but I feel like the porn is to men to what vibrators are to women 100%. Because the vibrators can actually desensitize you so much that that, you know, will be a hindrance to creating them. Rita naturally. So using the yoni egg helped me a lot, connecting with that. Reading Naomi wolf's book, like, 15 years ago was such a wake up call. It's called, and it was like an anatomical book. And I discovered my. I was taking a year of abstinence after the divorce and a relationship. So I was on my own. And I really got to explore with the yoni egg where my G spot was, you know, like, doing all these things. And I practicing Kundalini. I was, like, really immersed in these studies to figure out this vessel, this vessel of pleasure. And like you were saying, that that's. That can be used for such manifestation and beauty and love and also give life.
- [22:54]
A
Our feminine spirituality is in our yonis. And for people who are like, why do they keep saying yoni? What does that mean? It is the Sanskrit word for the portal between two worlds. So, you know, we minimize it to this, like, medical term of, like, the vagina and the vulva. But the yoni actually encompasses all. And the womb, but it's also spiritual and energetic. So yoni is like the most sacred, like, object. When you go to temples and altars, they have entire yoni pujas, which are like, blessings and rituals where they create statues and they give milk and flowers, as well as for the lingam, which is the masculine counterpart, which we would deflect as like a penis, but it's actually what creates life. And the two of them, it's like Shiva and shakti, which are the primordial feminine and masculine deities, God and goddess, and these two together, it's the most powerful thing. And it's something that, like, our modern society wants to tear apart. You know, it wants to tear apart divine union. It wants everyone to just be like, on their own. Men with their porns, grow with their vibrators. You don't need each other. We do need each other, but we need to restore right relations with each other, not use each other as mutual masturbation tools, which is what most people are doing. So, yeah, in my own experience, like, I feel like it's even like breaking apart, like, sexuality with a partner versus sexuality with Yourself, you know, and most women don't even know what brings them pleasure. I mean, over. I think it's like 60% of women don't experience orgasms through penetrative sex at all. Never have. You know, most women use vibrators and I'm not. Vibrator shaming. I understand.
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B
No, no, it has a time and a place, I think, when you're.
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A
Never used one in my life.
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B
I got one as a gift and I tried and I was like, ah, it was too harsh.
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A
Because it is not natural. That level of vibration is not how a human is designed.
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B
Well, it can desensitize you.
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A
Exactly.
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B
And that's the thing.
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A
And the plastics as well, the microplastics.
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B
Right. But I have coached a few people that were desensitized and it does come back. Yes, that's the totally incredible thing. So if you are desensitized, don't worry, there are ways it's not too late.
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A
Yeah, but it's like if I am used to like, I don't know, like getting a massage from a machine, right. And it goes this fast and then I get a massage from like a person. I'm like, how come you can't do this thing anymore?
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B
And you lose the subtlety.
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A
Exactly. And even breaking it down, it's not even from a person, like from yourself. And I love, like you shared this as well. But just get like using your finger and just getting to know. Even just like your breasts.
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B
Right?
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A
Getting to know your breasts, getting to know. Just touching your face, touching your hair, touching your arms, touching yourself the way you would a lover. Spend months just there. Yes, spend months there. And so you feel. Exactly. Whereas most of us are like, I got 20 minutes, the kids are asleep, grab a vibrator. You know, a lot of women now watch porn as well, which is so disembodying because you're not focused on the sensations of what you're feeling, but you're actually also sending your most powerful manifestation, energy towards these potentially sex trafficked humans. And like, think about the vortex of that. Like, why is porn such a huge industry? 80% of the Internet is pornography.
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B
Oh my gosh, 80 of the whole.
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A
Internet, which is crazy. So much. Just dark web. And you know, there are porn stars doing it intentionally. I would say that does exist, but it's still like, when in the history of time did humans watch someone else having sex for them to have? I know it's not natural.
- [26:26]
B
And especially children. Like, it just breaks my heart to think, like children are already average age.
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A
For a boy is 11 years old right now to start watching pornography. And that's why in a lot of middle schools right now, they are seeing pornography addictions of the boys going to bathrooms between breaks three times a day.
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B
But then also men are become impotent. And you know, that leads to like all sorts of dysfunction later.
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A
Huge problem.
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B
Yeah, well, again, it might be manufactured. Right. What better way to like control us than food, water, sex, air.
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A
Exactly. Because if a man is especially men are super visual sexually. So once they're used to like seeing something extremely overt as well. And also the sex on porn is not, not true sexuality. It's performative, it's not real. The positions that women are doing are not actually what will feel good for women. Like, right then men, when they're actually with a woman, especially if it's even a woman they love, all of a sudden they are so used to that neuropathway and it's not there. So then they, you know, I don't even want to use, perform. They can't reach erection. And then that brings up more shame and then it creates more separation and then more porn. And then the woman is more. And it's like there is an agenda behind this.
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B
Oh, yeah. And then it's just breaking that addiction is very difficult. Right? It's one of the hardest.
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A
Right.
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B
So, yeah, so we go back to the basics, you know, back to what's beautiful and that. Love, the self. Love and the self pleasure. And the yoni egg, of course, is so incredible because. And the yoni egg does something which a vibrator can't. The yoni egg can make the canal sensitized. It opens up nerve endings. You know, people think that it's nama.
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A
What is your yoni egg practice like? So I hear a lot of people have different types.
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B
Well, I.
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A
And then can you share this? What is a yoni egg?
- [28:09]
B
Okay, yeah. So yoni egg is. Well, I carry the neophyte ones. Neophyte is a type of jade that is very sacred and hard, so it cannot break. Because God forbid you get like a cheap copy of a jade egg online and it's not certified. Mine comes certified from a place that you know is very responsible because you are going to take this neophyte jade egg, it's shaped like an A. You're going to cleanse it and clear it and. And do all the things to make it clean. And then you're going to do a little ritual practice where you imbue it and set an intention and then you insert It. And then you do exercises and the certain exercises with your legs. So it can be mechanical. It's not even. I mean, can be sensual, but it's also very practical. And exercise, it actually gets the yoni canal more sen and the area is more sensitive. And then it can connect you to the G spot. And many people put a floss through it so you can pull it in and out. Especially when you first enter it in in the yoni and take it out is like something to do that, like learning about the suction. And so there's lots of incredible things and. And I always recommend it for women who've had babies because it helps tone the yoni back. But I always say, don't worry if. If it falls out and you can't hold it in. Don't worry because that's a. It's a practice. Practice. It's definitely a practice. And I started to get into it during that period after the divorce and this relationship. And I was very immersed. Kundalini yoga, jade egg exercise, creating my business. And then I got into tea ceremony. So I was definitely in that mode, you know, for a good many years.
- [29:45]
A
Have you heard of yoni yoga?
- [29:47]
B
No, but it's probably similar.
- [29:49]
A
Similar, yeah. Yoni yoga is actually not with an egg, but it's actually isolating different parts of your yoni on its own to create more of that, like, mind body connection. Because most of us, okay, if we all do a kegel right now, I think we can all like just kind of squeeze everything. But it's like, can you pulse just your clitoris? Can you pulse just your vaginal opening? Can you pulse your cervix? Wow. And you start to learn it like I'm doing right now. And it's really cool because at first I was like, I didn't even understand what that is. But you start to, like, learn. Like, it's just like if I've never articulated my fingers right, like in Odyssey and belly dancing, like, if someone just starts, you're going to be like this. But through practicing now, I can articulate everything. Single thing. And it's like bringing that ambidextry into your yoni. And what that does, it's like more connectivity, more blood flow, more just like. So then you're more sensitive and you're more aware, you're more orgasmic. And it's like also just, you know, I feel we have a lot of numb spots in our yoni, definitely, you.
- [30:48]
B
Know, or holding trauma. And that's the other great thing with the neophyte Jade, it absorbs the trauma. That's why, why it's the type of material it is. And then later you can use rose quartz or obsidian and things like that. I always like to say it's like you have a room in your house and you're not using it. Like put a vase of flowers in there, like open up the room, like try to, you know, get it, get it going. It's, it's. Yeah.
- [31:12]
A
Most of us are so disconnected because we're taught that, like, it's dangerous, it's dirty, it's bad.
- [31:18]
B
And as you know, that's where our manifestations come from. That's where we earn, you know, your money making maker, that's your money maker, that's your. All the terms. That's truly where we create our dreams and our womb space. And so it is a very powerful portal.
- [31:33]
A
My friend who grew up in Saudi Arabia was told as a little girl that her vagina had teeth, sharp teeth in it, and that if she even tries to go near there, her hand would be.
- [31:43]
B
Oh, my gosh, can you imagine? To tell little girls. Awful, awful. Yeah. The trauma around that, right?
- [31:51]
A
Because then you're so afraid, you know? But it's like, that's the fear programming.
- [31:55]
B
Yeah. I remember working when I first started embarking in this, I went to a German healer and she was like, your pilot is out. And I was like, huh? She's like, your pilot light is out. I was like, okay. And then she worked on me. And that day I went out and I swear to God, it was like everywhere I went, people were just like coming towards me or. And I was like, this really works. This is. This pilot light thing is a thing.
- [32:21]
A
So let's get into the cervix.
- [32:22]
B
I was just gonna say, I'm a cervix girl.
- [32:25]
A
We love the cervix here. What is the cervix?
- [32:28]
B
The cervix is a gateway, I believe. And in my chapter, one of the chapters of my water course, I talk about how it's something that really we give no attention to. And it is a gateway. It's a powerful portal. It opens three times in your life, in a woman's life. It opens a little bit when you ovulate, a little bit when you menstruate, and then it opens. It fully effaces a face. It's got a face, you know, when you give birth. And it's a very powerful area. And I know you can have cervical orgasms too, which is something that only now I think people are Beginning to, of course, only now, women's. These areas for women are beginning to be understood or investigated because it's not just clitoral or vaginal. It's cervical, too. But which is one of the most powerful.
- [33:17]
A
What's crazy that I found out was that when you are a little egg in your mother's womb, the very first part of you that is created is your cervix, after your heart, and that's where your nervous system begins from.
- [33:28]
B
Oh, I did not know.
- [33:29]
A
So you. When you are touching your cervix, you're actually touching the base of your nervous system. So it's the deepest form of nervous system healing that you can do.
- [33:35]
B
That's incredible. That's incredible. And it's. You know, I'm sure you've seen that image where your grandmother was holding you when she was pregnant. And it's such a beautiful image. But how powerful are we with our lineages? So, basically, if my grandmother was holding my mother, my eggs were already formed in my mother. I mean, it's so surreal.
- [33:58]
A
Yes. That's why we're the most connected to.
- [34:00]
B
Our maternal grandmother, who I am very connected. Rose is my maternal grandmother's name. And I do this thing. Actually, I just did it at a workshop. And I'm telling you, women, I had a room full of, like, 25 women who just. All what we do is when we go around, I will say my name is Sheba Rose, and I came from the womb of Carol Afshar, who came from the womb of Rosemary Ward, who came from the womb of Edith Biermann. And it just, like, so it holds. I can't even tell you how powerful that is when we go around a room and say those words, because it really connects you to that lineage of our guardians. I really do believe there are guardians.
- [34:48]
A
How beautiful is that? And also, like, how sad that many of us don't even know the names of our great grandmother.
- [34:54]
B
Well, that's the thing. Like, in this circle, some were adopted and some did only went back to their mother or grandmother. And yes, I mean, that's. We should know that. I think in a lot of cultures, we do honor daily and say the names of these ancestors.
- [35:09]
A
Do you see yourself one day starting a podcast, writing books, speaking on stages, sharing your message with the world? But the thing is, you are afraid that you're not a good enough speaker yet. Maybe you're inspired by people like me and Gabby Bernstein, and, you know, you have it within yourself, too, but you just don't know where to start. Well, I have gotten this question so many times and this is why I've created my Speak with social media soul 21 day method. This guides you from awkward to confident speaker in just three weeks time. I guide you through daily prompts, practices and share all of the wisdom that I have learned as a professional speaker, podcaster, author, and someone who literally makes a living sharing my voice as well as through music and how you can too, in your own unique way. So the testimony from Speak with Soul are insane. I have seen people literally be hired to host their own radio shows. Hundreds of people start their own podcasts, create YouTube channels, IG Live series, get book deals, the list goes on. So whether you want to professionally share your voice or just get better in conversation and connection and just feel more confident in what you say and not feel like you're so in your head and release any fears or hesitations you have around the way that you're voice sounds and its pitch. Well, this course covers all of it. So it's just 10 minute daily videos for 21 days that I promise you if you follow this process, you will be a completely other person on the other side. Because truth is, when is the last time you spent any time on your speaking? For most of us it was like maybe a awkward speech in high school and it was never touched it again. So speaking is the way that we communicate with the world. It's the most important thing we can do. It's the way that we get our message across. And I know if you're listening to this podcast, you have a really important message to share because regular people don't listen to this podcast. So if you're feeling the call, come join me in Speak with Soul. I have a special 25% off discount for you listed below. So head over to the show notes or over to speak with soul course dot com. That's speak with soul course dot com to receive the 25% off right now. And you can also find that link in the show notes. I'm so excited to hopefully be on your podcast. It's so powerful because, yeah, we are, you know, standing upon their shoulders. So for me, yeah, womb healing has been the greatest spiritual portal and you know, specifically cervical healing.
- [37:46]
B
Have you had the massage like a cervical, like a. Yeah, internal massage?
- [37:51]
A
Well, for myself.
- [37:51]
B
Oh yeah. But you haven't had somebody?
- [37:53]
A
Well, I know I did. I did yoni mapping with someone who I've had here on this podcast, Alexandria, who did a step by step yoni mapping episode for us. So I will actually link that below it was really powerful and deep.
- [38:06]
B
Yes. It was not always comfortable.
- [38:09]
A
No.
- [38:09]
B
I was crying when she went in there.
- [38:11]
A
It was so much sadness.
- [38:14]
B
There's scar tissue. There's, you know, trauma, there's.
- [38:17]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, especially if you have children. You know, there's definitely that. Or if you've had any procedures like the LEAP procedure, which is a procedure that they do that they actually scrape the face of the cervix if there is a potential for hpv.
- [38:31]
B
Oh, my gosh.
- [38:32]
A
And it's pretty controversial, I know, because it's very. And I'm not giving medical advice here, but it's just a very controversial one because.
- [38:40]
B
Well, again, they think that you don't feel things.
- [38:42]
A
They think you don't feel things. And also, things like, like HPV only are activated when your yoni is out of balance. Right. So microbiome. Exactly. And. And stress. Maybe you're in the wrong relationship. Like, there's just so many.
- [38:56]
B
So many. By the way, everything is curable. Like, yes, Western medicine has its place. But, you know, there's things like thuja. Like, I tell a lot of people come to me and they're like, what should I do? It's an herb and it's. They make some. They actually there was this incredible company called Washington as Wise Women Herbals. And I think they had to stop. The FDA stopped them, but they were making suppositories with thuja and it cures hpv. So there are, you know, there are things. By the way, like she said, get medical advice, go to your doctor and ask first. But there are plenty of things. If we have frustrations over what's happening in here and. And then find the root cause. Right. Like if you keep getting cystitis, urinary, or. Or, you know, yeast infection, like, you got to get to the root, not just the physical, but the emotional.
- [39:44]
A
Yeah. And it's like, look at how our society set up, okay? We wear tight plastic underwear, tight plastic yoga pants. We put chlorine and chemical filled tampons inside of ourselves.
- [39:57]
B
Yeah.
- [39:58]
A
They sell us douche products with like alcohol and all these, like, chemicals in there. No wonder so many women have ph imbalance. It's like, how could you. You not.
- [40:07]
B
Fertility issues. I mean, all of that. I. Dear friend of mine is Jaguar Woman. Do you know her? Oh, she'd be lovely on here. But she does womb steamings and it was her birthday the other night. She had a womb steaming zoom. You know, where she makes the herbs and she lives in Oaxaca And. And, I mean, what a marvelous way to, like, celebrate your birthday, but actually be steaming your womb with all your sisters.
- [40:31]
A
When I was just in Guatemala, I told you, studying Mayan womb healing for two weeks with indigenous elders. And we would forage for herbs and make our own yoni steams. And it was so basic. You know, we make things so complicated. I don't have a place to go, literally, and. And get the herbs from where you're from. So in North America, a lot of mugwort. That's a really good one for yoni steaming. But they're really like. Yeah, they're cleansing herbs. Right. Like in India, you would use a neem, you know, so whatever is like your antibacterial, anti parasitical, antiviral herb. That's kind of what you're going to use with a series of different ones. And so we just. It was like literal buckets. Buckets, you know, get the hot water, put the fresh herbs, like, not even dried fresh herbs inside that we picked from the bushes and get two planks of wood and just put the wood on top and then just sit over and have, like, a blanket over you. And it was. We did it in a circle of us who were all training, and it was so, like, ancient of, like, this is how women used to gather, whereas now it's like we gather and it's like, complaining about our lives and gossip and whatever. And it's like, no, we're meant to, like, gather. And. And by the way, yoni seeming doesn't feel, like, so sexual at all.
- [41:36]
B
Like, it doesn't.
- [41:37]
A
There's nothing, like, arousing about it, but it actually just reconnects you to your powerhouse.
- [41:42]
B
Yes.
- [41:42]
A
You know, and it makes it, like, come back alive. And it puts in more ojas, more life force, more wetness. Right. Because so many women are dealing with vaginal dryness.
- [41:52]
B
Right.
- [41:52]
A
You know, and it brings in. And I love how in your course, you talked about yoni sunning.
- [41:56]
B
Yes. Oh, my gosh.
- [41:57]
A
Can you share a little bit about that?
- [41:58]
B
Yeah. I mean, now, I think a lot of people in the paleo health world have discovered this perennium sunning.
- [42:04]
A
Yes. Lots of men are doing.
- [42:05]
B
Lots of men are doing. But it not only gives you vitamin D straight into stores, break it down. Private place in la. It might be hard. I live in rural Texas now, so I have a deck.
- [42:20]
A
You know what, your balcony. As long as no one can look inside.
- [42:22]
B
Yes, yes. And. Which is crazy. I was in Topanga once, staying at an Airbnb and a drone Flew in as I was trying to sun. I was like, this is not, this is the modern world. This is not good. I mean, if I had a shotgun.
- [42:37]
A
Not in Texas anymore. Yeah, get out of my own.
- [42:43]
B
I mean, what the heck? Can a girl have some privacy? But yeah, really, it's just laying in the sun. I mean you can add oil if you like, but feeling the penetrative because sun is the masculine, you know, and then. And the yoni is the feminine. So feeling that penetrative force, I actually.
- [42:59]
A
Feel that yoni setting is kind of orgasmic.
- [43:01]
B
It can be.
- [43:02]
A
It feels so amazing because it's like, wow. Like to let that the sun touch this dark part of you that has like likely never seen the light of day.
- [43:10]
B
Definitely. And, and that's. It's supposed to. At one time we lived, you know, free and naked. We got moonlight too. I have a course on the moon as well because I've had mystical experiences under the moon. And you actually get vitamin D from the moon. Most people didn't know that, but we actually get that energy, the yin. Cooler energy.
- [43:29]
A
So we can also do lunar.
- [43:30]
B
Yeah.
- [43:31]
A
Gazing.
- [43:32]
B
Lunar gazing. There was a time when I literally felt, I mean my parents were incredible in. They did the best they can. But there was a time when I was healing where I felt like I was getting my father paternal energy from the sun and the maternal from the moon. And I literally would be like. Felt like they were my parents and it was such a beautiful experience. So if you do feel lonely or you're an orphan or, you know, and then I. And also grounding to the earth and I know it sounds hokey and but. But for me at that time it was like family. It helped heal almost like animals can heal. He knew, know.
- [44:04]
A
Totally. I remember I was like 23 years old living with my grandma and I, you know, I stayed in her like extra room and I was like yoni sunning in like this like apartment. And then she like walked in. She's like, what are you doing? Like it was like so weird for her. Yeah, exactly. But it's sad that our parents, our grandparents don't know about these when these are ancient practices. We're not making this up right now. This isn't. I hate how people call it new age or woo woo. As if we just made this up.
- [44:33]
B
Right?
- [44:33]
A
No, this is actually beyond ancient change, far beyond any of the grandparents that we know. This is over 2000 years old. Past 2000 years. We've really been in like this patriarchal suppression with the advent of the piscean age.
- [44:49]
B
And, and it doesn't work because obviously it's falling apart as we speak. Like it does not work the old paradigm. So we really have to come up with a new paradigm. Go back to the things that did work that were suppressed.
- [45:01]
A
And it so crazy and divine that these practices that are beyond 2,000 years old, that women were killed, burnt at the stake, disowned for doing it, I mean, they were like drinking herbal tea, let alone Yoni Sonning, you know, and. But that we're remembering it like through our beings that like maybe you're listening to this podcast right now and what we're seeing, it's like evoking a knowing in you, which we call gnosis. It's this inner knowing in you, and that is the ancient part of you that is still alive. That's like, I've never never like seen anyone do this. I never talked about anyone doing this. But what they're saying, it resonates as truth. Like it makes sense. Like I feel called to this kind of work. That is your inner knowing. Those are your ancient ancestors that are living and speaking through you. And I do feel right now a lot of us ancient souls have reincarnated to bring back these ancient teachings. And I feel like the word ancient is a better than old. Right. Because it's, it's so far beyond. And these ancient teachings are the way of the womb, are the way. The way of the. The feminine, the way of the true masculine as well. Honoring the masculine, honoring divine union and seeing Earth as our healer.
- [46:08]
B
Right, right. And not our enemy. Which is, I think that what corporateization of nature has shown, you know, they've definitely felt like it was the enemy or hurt. Hurt nature like that. Yes. I mean, hopefully we all envision a time when all of these things can be. Be accepted and that the planet can heal and women can heal. Yes.
- [46:31]
A
I'd also love to talk about breasts and the lymphatic system because this is a huge water pathway in our body.
- [46:39]
B
Definitely. And there's. I share some meditations and practices on the water course. Like there's a Taoist, again, thousands of years old massage called the deer massage, where you massage the breast and a certain, you know, you can either go clockwise or counter, depending on what you're trying to evoke.
- [46:56]
A
So both breasts opposite directions.
- [46:59]
B
Yes. You can either do I believe, like counter might be to release and the other is to bring in. Yeah. And you do that 36 times, you know, and you, and you use an oil and you really. And then you Take that energy and you can send it down into your pelvis regions. And again, if we don't touch our breasts, this is how they get stagnant, rivers get stagnant and issues happen. So it's very important to do that. Castor oil. I try to do castor oil wraps with frankincense.
- [47:30]
A
How do you wrap?
- [47:31]
B
Well, I get the castor oil, I put it on the breast with some frankincense and then I put wool fabric because wool will help the castor oil penetrate. And that is wonderful for cysts or anything that's troubling you or dense breasts or painful breasts. And this is wonderful just to detox them because they are, you know, they, they do hold a lot. And they also hold a lot of like heart energy and sadness. And this is really important to release. And you know, our lymph system doesn't have an actual pump, so we have to be its pump. And that's why dry brushing, these again, these old Ayurvedic ways. There's a reason to it why dry brushing is so good. Why, you know, Abhayanga is so good, which is like a self massage. It's to get that lymph system moving. Because again, stagnation leads to disease. Disease.
- [48:21]
A
So I want to talk about breast massage first. And go. Because there's so much with both. So for me, actually, the movement that really helped open my heart was I would do really light fingers and kind of just touch the middle of my chest, like right in the center and just really lightly open it and open it and just bring like softness and it would bring a lot of just emotion, but also even like this pleasure as well. And I'm not even touching my breasts. Right in between.
- [48:48]
B
Well, it's the chakra, right?
- [48:49]
A
Exactly. It's the heart, the anahata. And as well, well, as doing figure eight around my breast, which is a Taoist practice I learned as well. It's interesting how our bodies are channeling this.
- [48:59]
B
Well, I was going to say that a powerful womb manifestation or exercise is to do the figure eight with your hips. When you do that figure eight, it's like so powerful for opening that portal. And it's like a natural sort of rhythmic that we've forgotten. Right. We've forgotten how to do that figure 8.
- [49:19]
A
And that's what I love about belly dancing.
- [49:20]
B
Yeah.
- [49:21]
A
Because it was, you know, I first went. I was deep in my yoga studies, Ashtanga yoga, three hours a day. My source style, like in it, living in India. And when I went to Bali I found this group of women doing tribal fusion belly dance. And I always loved belly dancing, like, growing up Middle Eastern, but I had not really, like, trained in it. So then all of a sudden, instead of wearing my, like, yoga leggings, I'm, like wearing these, like, long skirts and I'm like, learning belly dance. And I was like, oh, my God. It's like, this is exactly what I've been missing. And it brought that again, that, like, ambidextrous to me. My hips of like, you know, what's a figure eight down, like an amaya, and the omi, which is the circle, and like all these different little micro movements that you can do. And I didn't know why it felt so good.
- [50:05]
B
Right.
- [50:05]
A
You know, but I just kept wanting to do it. Shimmying. I was like, addicted to shimming. Well, now I know it's releasing trauma, right?
- [50:11]
B
You know, as a child, did you rock or, like, when I would fall asleep? Yeah, me too.
- [50:17]
A
Yeah. I remember my boyfriend at the time, he's like, you're always dancing even when you fall asleep.
- [50:21]
B
No, I would do, like, a little rocking motion to, like, calm the system.
- [50:26]
A
Yeah. Isn't that so interesting that our bodies just know, like, we're just meant to move, but then we hold shame of like, let's say I'm sitting at a board meeting and I'm moving my hips. People are going to be like, what the hell? You know, so we like, suppress it. Suppress it until it, like, stops talking to us. Exactly. And that's what all of these things do. It, like, brings back this knowing and I find the body starts to, like, re. Pattern itself and like, to really go in. It's like. Yeah, like, sometimes it. It will bring up a lot of. Of pain, a lot of grief, like, whatever those emotions are like. I remember when I really began working with the heart, I was feeling all of the hatred I felt, you know, towards my dad as a child. That, you know, he was very angry, very, like, narcissistic and just an aggressive figure, you know, very Iranian patriarchal. And I felt so helpless, but like that. So then it was like, I can't do anything. It would suppress as, like, this, like, anger and this like. Like, I want to protect my mother, you know, and. And so that created this, like, black tar over my heart.
- [51:26]
B
Oh, my goodness.
- [51:27]
A
And. And so it was really through, like, this opening that I was releasing this black tar, removing this black tar. And then I actually visualized my heart cavity was like this cage. But inside the cage were all these butterflies. Like all this love I wanted to share, but I was afraid because I was afraid I would share love and my dad would be erratic and I couldn't attune to his nervous system, you know, and so I literally imagined like. Yeah, like a psychic surgery on myself of like opening up this cage in my heart and all these butterflies flying out. And that's why I actually have butterfly tattoos on the side of my. On my rib cage. And it's like representing like parvonic. Yes, exactly. And it's like let the butterflies out, like let the love. And it doesn't matter if it's reciprocated or not. It doesn't even matter matter if it's forever or not. Of course the feminine wants that, you know, but it's like give love because you get to experience love.
- [52:19]
B
Right. Well, that's unconditional. Right. Not wanting anything in return. That's probably true love.
- [52:25]
A
Yeah. And it. I wouldn't have gone to this deep awareness without the simple thing of like, it started with me. I would just be sitting at home and I would just starting to start like touching this, start doing the. The figure 8 and it would open up. And now I have like intense breast orgasms. And they're like one of them. They're like the most orgasmic place in my entire body without anything from touching my breasts. And so it shows. It's like you go in, you feel nothing, then you start to feel the pain. You start to feel and. But then on the other side is like the greatest orgasmic potential. And I've been celibate for two years, but like, I'm having more orgasms than ever in my entire life from my. My breasts and my energy zone. Exactly.
- [53:05]
B
You, like, you open the codes to your erogenous zones and, you know, we should all find out where our erogenous zones are. Mine is my lower back. Back.
- [53:14]
A
Interesting.
- [53:14]
B
You know, so it's like if somebody massages or touches it, it's definitely a place where. So we need to find those places. Like how incredible that our bodies hold these beautiful codes.
- [53:28]
A
Another erogenous zone for like all of us are like opening. So like inside your elbow, your armpit, behind your knee.
- [53:35]
B
Right.
- [53:35]
A
Like in your palm of your hand. Even like right now, people just like touching inside the palm of your hand and like feeling how the neck.
- [53:44]
B
I love the idea of dating yourself too, if you've been through heartbreak where you do, you know, pet yourself and put on the beautiful negligee and sort of learn to court yourself, because how can you court somebody else until you court yourself. Right.
- [53:59]
A
And the beauty of that is like you become self sourced, you know, because if you know how to give yourself that love that you deeply desire, you're not going to hold on to that, you know, fuckboy guy that's like barely even showing up. And it's like your only source of love.
- [54:12]
B
No, you're free. You're free. You're totally free.
- [54:15]
A
And that's why they don't want women to know this.
- [54:17]
B
That's power. What's more powerful than a free woman? Like really free. Not just free. And you know, we're very lucky to be free here in the west, but really free.
- [54:27]
A
Yeah. I see a lot of women who get into these like, situationships which is like, basically like friends with benefits, I would say. And they don't feel met because they don't feel honored. Like, here's the thing about the womb, guys. The womb needs to feel, feel honored. She needs to feel revered, she needs to feel worshiped. And that actually is not just a turn on for women, but it's a turn on for men.
- [54:47]
B
Oh definitely. I almost feel like when you enter a temple and you say, may I enter? And you bring an offering, we should have the same thing when they're about to, you know, may I enter and may I bring an offering? You know that it's such a beautiful concept, but it really is. I had this epiphany too during, during the course. It's like once our wounds are healed and a place that of this beautiful, magnificent, you know, everything that you want to evoke.
- [55:12]
A
Marble temple with white doves. That's how I imagine mine.
- [55:16]
B
When a man enters that temple, he reaches enlightenment. Exactly. He reaches a place of healing.
- [55:22]
A
Yes.
- [55:23]
B
So imagine, I mean for all the men out there, like, what portal are you entering? You want to make sure that's a clean place that's been healed because it's going to affect your, you know, your, your, your system. I remember Guru Jagat, my dear friend, used to say that women would hold the Auric field of whatever lover they were with for seven years. And she would look at me and be like, you're not, you're not. He's not out of you yet. Like, she would, I would go to her every few months and be like, are they gone? Are they gone? And she'd be like, nope, nope, more work, more work. And that's why Kundalini was very helpful for me to clear the Auric feel. Because yes, we hold on to these and energies seven years. It's a Long time. Yeah.
- [56:04]
A
And I do feel with spiritual practice. Yoni, steaming Kundalini, you accelerate it. I think seven years is like if you kind of don't do anything. But some people, they keep getting back together with the guy. Because by the way guys, you might have broken up, but if you're still having sex with me, still in your auric field, I'm gonna leave that there. And it's both the energy, the sexual energy exchange between men and women that I feel a lot of men are just like, like going for whatever is easy. But it's like think about the energy of that woman. It's like she carries an energy of hatred, desperation. That's what you're picking up on.
- [56:37]
B
You have to think of it as a currency, you know that it's a very like powerful and precious commodity both as a man and a woman.
- [56:46]
A
And sex is meant to be with love. Like I'm sorry, I'm going to be controversial here, but sex and love are the same. Same because you can't truly have that like mind blowing, take you to God sex with someone you don't love.
- [57:01]
B
Yeah.
- [57:01]
A
You really can't because you're going to be disconnected from your heart. The heart and the yoni and lingam are inherently connected as well as with the throat.
- [57:09]
B
Throat chakra.
- [57:10]
A
So if you don't feel comfortable with that person, you know, you can't even speak your truth with that person. You're going to be just discon. You're. You have to turn that on. Like you have to put the shields on.
- [57:20]
B
Yeah.
- [57:20]
A
And then you're just not like. That's why some people feel even emptier.
- [57:24]
B
After that kind of sex. Exactly.
- [57:26]
A
Because their beings know this is not how love is meant to be.
- [57:29]
B
I think people are waking up now to the whole idea of the feminist movement. I mean it had its benefits, but it also may have. There was a big price to pay. Right. Like that whole movement about women just sleeping with whoever they wanted and taking the pill and this and that. Like we're realizing like, oh, that was actually not, not such a good idea.
- [57:48]
A
So my question for you and I get from a lot of women, they're in relationships with beautiful men, but these men maybe are not tantrically attuned. They are not as deeply connected to their bodies and lingams. How can we help, you know, inspire them?
- [58:03]
B
Well, I think by example. And once you're intimate with someone, you, I'm sure they'd be open to doing an exercise with you. You know, like the beautiful. There's A tantric one, where you're facing each other and you're breathing with each other. You're having eye contact with each other. I'm sure you know, when someone's enamored with you, they will want to please you. So I think it's like little steps. I don't think it should be like a preachy demand situation. It has, you know, like, a woman can achieve so much more with honey than vinegar. Right. It's going to be like a more. I mean, listen, I'm with a big old Texan cowboy who luckily had a meditation practice, but still, there are times when I'm like, all right, love, I really want us to do tea ceremony together now. I want us to, like, sit down and, you know, right. I want us to do. And he. They will want to accommodate.
- [58:52]
A
I feel like that's so important because a lot of women are like, well, it's never. This can never happen for me because my husband is not willing.
- [59:00]
B
That's almost shooting yourself in the foot. You know what I mean? That you're not. You're not appreciating your power. How powerful are you? You could do anything. Of course you can get him in a loving way, though. It can't be, again, preachy or, you know, whining about it. It has to be done in a beautiful like. Like, this will give me so much pleasure. Can we give it a try? Can we do this exercise?
- [59:22]
A
So how do you with your partner bring in more intimacy in the relationship?
- [59:27]
B
Yeah, that's an interesting question, because I think intimacy is really one of those things that we can lose sight of even if you're in a relationship. We've been on like six years, six and a half years now together. Into me, you see, Right. And I think it's sometimes, like they say, a woman's foreplay is not in bed. It's way hours before when you know he will show some affection towards you or do something for you to make you feel better. I mean, that's especially for us. The way we're wired, our nervous system because of caveman days. Like, we have to feel safe. If we're not safe, we're not going to be able to have enjoyable sexual encounters because we're wired to hear the, you know, animal coming in to steal the baby. Like, we are just all our senses have to be calm. So I think it's a lot about the ritual helps, like having the bath with the magnesium. Whatever it is going to do to get your systems calm. You know, certain drinks and herbal drinks and things like that, my partner and I. Okay, so the intimacy. That's a good question. I think it's something that I want to work on actually more because I like to travel too. And he's. He loves to be on our land. Land. So we have to find ways to, you know, accommodate each other. So for me it's like, okay, well, let's take a walk on the land. So we'll take a walk. Eye gazing, really helpful. Trying to see. You know, I've heard this thing where like, once man starts talking, let him talk. Because it's hard for them to talk, especially men that are in their masculine. So really me trying to like my monkey mind wanting to interject. I've really had to learn to just let him talk. Just listen, listen, listen. I think that's helped a lot with our intimacy. Holding hands while driving. I mean, little things like that, you know, giving a massage, like a shoulder massage. Like there's definite things. Washing each other's hair can be so intimate and so lovely. You know, there's things about that, planning, you know, having visions every night before you go to bed. Bed. Maybe giving a little moment of intention for what you want to see with your family, with your children. With the children. You want to have these little like, rituals.
- [61:44]
A
Those are all so beautiful and will really lead to the. The sexuality that both partners want. You know, it's like you're on the same team. And I feel like we like forget that in relationships and it becomes resentments that add up and then you fantasize, oh, it must be some else. You know, I see I have so many women coming to me and they're like, with, you know, they've been with their partner. It's normally around seven years. Death and rebirth needs to happen, right? Sometimes the death is this relationship is not meant to be any longer and you can part ways and. And really let it go. And you have to tune into what that is for you. But I feel a lot of times it's like, no, there is an invitation to let that old relationship die. Because love is so rare.
- [62:26]
B
Yes.
- [62:26]
A
And love is such a gift. And I feel that we have like commodified love and we're like, oh, I want the person to be this, this, this and that and that has all these. This guy has all these things, but he doesn't have the looks or he doesn't have the this. So they copy paste him. But also add this. It doesn't exist.
- [62:41]
B
No, it doesn't.
- [62:41]
A
You know, just like we are unique.
- [62:43]
B
Snowflakes and you learn that you get some things from like I just know now I'm not going to get that, you know, fluffy soft thing from my man. I have to get it from my girlfriends, you know, they're the ones I have to call for like this, you know, the comfort of whatever I'm going through. Sometimes, sometimes like there's just things you just have to know that you're not going to, you know, it's, it's, it's definitely the highest priority. Things I think we want those should be right. But yes, the rest we have to get from our community, from our friends, from our family, from our spiritual practices.
- [63:16]
A
And it comes back to being self sourced because when you don't have that own ability to nurture yourself, you know, to soothe your own emotions, you know, sexually obviously, but even just on a deeper level, self reflection, regulate, and you're looking for this person, they're never going.
- [63:32]
B
To make you happy ever.
- [63:33]
A
And men aren't actually designed for any of that.
- [63:36]
B
They're designed to protect and provide, especially a masculine man. And I know there's many great books which I'm sure you've read, like the Queen's Code and you know, the David Data. I mean that blew me away over a decade ago when I read those books because I was like, oh, that's how a man's brain works. And sometimes I have to like remind myself problem, solve it. Yeah, they're not that like, you know, touchy feely like oh, you know, and you don't want.
- [64:01]
A
And they, and they can learn. Like I feel like some men don't know to like ask you questions. Yes. And people could be like, you know, I'm like, what are your.
- [64:07]
B
Just ask me how my day was.
- [64:08]
A
Yeah, I'm like after I asked you, you asked me back. You know, they're like, oh, you know, it's like they don't think of that.
- [64:14]
B
Yeah, it's interesting you say seven years because I did bring this up to my partner because in the Native American traditions at seven years years they have a circle and they go around and they ask everyone in the circle, should this couple stay together? Are they bringing to the community and to themselves everything that they could be being together. And it's a very honest and heartbreaking sometimes and beautiful experience because you go around and you get the guidance of the village or the community, which is why it's so important we need, we need those friends around. But I told my partner, I was like, okay, we have to do. And he was very, I think Offended. But now he's also like, okay, that seems like a good assessment. You know, it'll be seven years soon and it'll be good to see, like you said, a death or you rebirth it.
- [65:02]
A
I've heard of the seven year Lakota tradition. I didn't know that it was a circle that the community, you know, was involved. And that's really interesting. And I do believe the seven year, you know, cycle allows to you you first of all to know that no love is a guarantee. You know, I think sometimes what happens is you sign marriage contract and you're like, okay, they're locked in for life right now. I don't need to make an effort anymore.
- [65:25]
B
Right.
- [65:25]
A
Where are they gonna go? And then we're only together because it's too hard to get divorced. No one wants to feel that way, you know, so when it's like there's an agreement of intentionality of like, it doesn't necessarily mean it's even gonna last seven years. Right, right. But then it's like you kind of do need to be on your best behavior, right? Because after seven years they're gonna be like, yep. Like it just allows some more like points like check in points in the relationship. Whereas when you sign something for forever, there's often no check ins unless something really detrimental happens in the relationship, which happens often in seven year itches. And you know, I've seen like my best friend, she's been in a 21 year relationship now, so. So three seven year cycles. And yeah, they have had a lot of deaths and rebirths and their relationship is stronger than ever. And you know, for me, I'm someone that I deeply desire. Desire like true lifelong love, you know, that's my deepest desire. But I also know that it's not gonna look the same for the rest of my life. And it's just a matter of we.
- [66:20]
B
Have to change together.
- [66:21]
A
Exactly, yeah. And like also knowing that they may be in a chapter that you don't fully understand, you know, or is not what you would want right now, you know, And I think that's what we're missing in this generation. So individualist.
- [66:36]
B
My partner is a brilliant, brilliant, incredible musician, songwriter. And he's just decided he doesn't want to do it anymore and he's going to be a welder full time. And I'm like, okay, okay. Well I really respect the fact that he's a welder, but I'm like, but you know, like when I got into this, you were musician, songwriter, singer, so it's almost like for me to, like, do that. And of course I love him no matter what he does, but it is a little bit of a. We have to change with them.
- [67:00]
A
And I think the person you start the relationship with, not the same person you're going to be in the relationship with.
- [67:04]
B
Yeah, No, I think Einstein's said, men marry women hoping they never change, and women marry men hoping they will change.
- [67:13]
A
So accurate.
- [67:14]
B
And disappointment is inevitable.
- [67:16]
A
It's so accurate because it is that I think with the masculine, that fantasy, if I married her and she was so fun and she loved to go out with. She laughed all my jokes, and she always, like, wore lingerie and looked amazing. And then, like, you know, she's a mother and, you know, she's tired. Yeah, she's tired and she doesn't feel supported and all those things. And it's like, but why don't you, you know, watch football with me anymore? Right? And then the woman like, okay, well, he doesn't have his shit together, but I'm going to help him and I'm going to help him figure it out. And. And that's the beauty of the feminine. Like, we pour, we pour, we pour.
- [67:45]
B
Which is the water. Back to the water, which is the wells have to be full. And I talk about this in the course. Is there a drought in your well? Are you in a drought? Are you gushing with, oh, just fluid.
- [67:57]
A
And water and one reframe. I just thought about right now. I've never thought of this before because we always talk about how that's like a shadow thing happening, how men want the woman to never change. Women want the men change. But actually, how beautiful is it that your man loved you exactly as you were and did not want you to change at all? Like, how freaking beautiful is that? That he saw you and he was like this. It's perfect.
- [68:17]
B
This is it.
- [68:18]
A
You know? And also how beautiful that a woman saw, like, a house that was, like, in the middle of getting renovated but had all these different. And that we're like, I still choose you. Yeah, I still choose you and I will help you. That's actually so beautiful.
- [68:32]
B
It is. It's romantic and beautiful. And believe me, it's not an easy life. Like, what I. Because I'm in LA right now, and I'm like, oh, LA is so easy and beautiful. And the houses are so. You know, I'm in rural Texas with scorpions and snakes, and it is hard living because we're rural. And I'm like, okay, if the love is fulfilling me, then it's okay.
- [68:53]
A
You know, a pretty house that you're empty and lonely, it's not worth it.
- [68:57]
B
And I remember the moment I was ready for my partner and I had a few, you know, dates here and there, relationships, and nothing was right. And I remember sitting down in my beautiful house in Pacific Palisades, overlooking these oaks, and I said, God, I am ready. And I am ready. And if I have to leave the thing besides my children, of course they come first. I love them more than anything. But if I have to leave my home, which is the other thing that means so much to me, my ninth house is in Virgo and home. And if I have to leave my home for love, I will.
- [69:30]
A
Girl, that's exactly what I said in my rose dieta.
- [69:32]
B
Oh, you did.
- [69:33]
A
I was looking at my home and I'm like, I love this apartment so much. It's my pink palace. I love it so much. But, like, you know, my intention for those sitting with the rose in silence for 10 days was true love. And that was the thing. It's like, I love this home so much, but do I really need it? And it's like. And if this home, like, I need this house, mine, is blocking me from true love, I let it go.
- [69:53]
B
Go. Yes.
- [69:55]
A
Well, that's what led to the codes of India and Dubai. And we will see what unfolds.
- [70:01]
B
And by the way, I was going to say, well, be careful what you say to the universe. Maybe say, I want an equally as beautiful home in the other side of the planet.
- [70:09]
A
Maybe at home it'll be Rajasthani Palace. Thank you. But I share that because it's like we need to have cycles of death and rebirth and to choose the death before the universe is for you.
- [70:20]
B
Then you're not a Victoria, too.
- [70:22]
A
Exactly.
- [70:22]
B
Which is so important because I always believe me when it's hard and I'm crying out in Texas, the heat, you know, my beehives died, my plants, my roses died. And then I'm like, okay, I'm not a victim. I chose this. Let's. Let's get back to reality, because that's important. You don't want to be like, tell the story of how you know.
- [70:37]
A
And if you have the love of a good man.
- [70:39]
B
Yeah.
- [70:40]
A
Like, that is everything. That is the nectar that all the people in LA or wherever else are seeking, Right. They think maybe if they look perfect enough and exercise and get thin enough and have enough, like, whatever, then they'll have and they don't, you know? And of course, people fall in love everywhere. But it. I think there Is something to the small town, right? You know, where it's like, definitely bare bones and you're coming back to roots. Come back to the basics.
- [71:04]
B
No, I tell you, my hero girlfriends just go to like a hardware store in rural Texas. You will meet your. Your cowboy. I mean, listen, it's not always the best. You want someone. Like I said, luckily, Mike, I meditated. Is like lived in New York. You don't want a complete thing, but it is. Yeah, there are. They are out there. And I think that was the other thing. Dating in la. I was like, I dated my car mechanic at one point and I dated, you know, billionaire at one point. And I, you know, I was open. It didn't matter. The status, basically. I wanted the human, you know, I.
- [71:39]
A
Love this so much. And I feel like women who are deeply in their feminine, we need men who are deeply in their masculine, masculine. Because when a man starts to go into his feminine, then we start to hold the masculine and.
- [71:49]
B
And that's not pretty.
- [71:50]
A
No, There are moments. It's a dance. It's a dance. You know, it's like sometimes I. I love having my business. I love like, you know, but in my relationship, I don't want to be like the boss, the one telling him exactly what to do. The one, you know, because then you lose respect for him, Right?
- [72:06]
B
Yeah, right, exactly.
- [72:07]
A
But at the same time, you want to be like, honored. So. And I think it's like, it's a dance, you know, and it's. It's finding that and spirit will automatically show you your mirro. Even trying.
- [72:16]
B
I was watching a Liz Taylor, Elizabeth Taylor documentary and she was talking about them, you know, she was married seven times or something crazy like that. And I think one of the love of her life, she said, he was able to handle me. He was able to handle me because I'm so strong. And I was like, wow. Even back then, Liz Taylor was having trouble finding someone who could.
- [72:35]
A
And I feel like, you know, I have so many friends who are priestesses and mystics, and the deep cry that even I've cried is like, when will I find a man who can hold all that of. Of me? You know, that I'm not too big, too powerful, too spiritual.
- [72:49]
B
Right.
- [72:49]
A
Too much in whatever way, in my expression and my Dharma and all of that. And I feel that is this deep mourning that a lot of us priestess women feel. Because it was almost easier to date, right? When you're just like in the 3D, you know, you're like, oh, that guy's cool. Like, you Know, it's so easy back then. And now I'm like, can you hold me in the depths of my shadow and pain? It's like, taller orders, but it's deeper, love.
- [73:13]
B
But I think men, intrinsically, do they want that? They want that. If they get away from all the garbage of what they've been told to want, they do want that. It's empowering for them.
- [73:25]
A
Absolutely. And I feel that that gives them the real sense of direction, purpose, and that men are meant to protect us in these physical realms, and we protect them in the spiritual.
- [73:34]
B
Right. Which is the Cherokee Province proverb, is it? Yes.
- [73:38]
A
Wow.
- [73:38]
B
It's. I don't want to butcher it, but it's something like men were here to protect, you know, the woman so that women could lead him to God. Wow. You know, and that's basically the way the. Which is such a beautiful.
- [73:51]
A
And I love that because I feel like a lot of us women then we're told, like, don't be the healer in the relationship. Don't be the teacher. And there is a fine line there.
- [73:59]
B
Yeah. But you're not saving him.
- [74:01]
A
Right. You're not saving him. You're not. Not his, like, life coach. However, as a healer woman, of course you're gonna pour your healing into him. How can you cut that off? Like, especially the person you love the most, you're going to be pouring your. Your dharma, your gifts into him. And, you know, I've chatted with some friends like. Like Leila Martin is an incredible tantra teacher. She was like, no matter what, you're going to be healing him, and that's what you're meant to do.
- [74:23]
B
Right. Which I think through our healed yonis, we do also.
- [74:27]
A
Absolutely. Through our vibrations, through our. Through our beauty, but also through our empathy, our listening. Because a lot of these men don't have anyone to talk to.
- [74:35]
B
No. And they don't talk. I mean it truly. Like, I think these. Yeah. It's not easy.
- [74:40]
A
So it's so beautiful because this pathway, it's not only healing for the feminine, it's healing for the masculine. Just really restores. Right. Relations between us.
- [74:47]
B
Yeah. Because we don't want to be here. Like, we want both. Right. We want the bo. We want. That's the. That's the divine union, which is the sun and the moon and the. You know, we have to have the masculine and the feminine in.
- [74:59]
A
So beautiful.
- [75:00]
B
I love this conversation.
- [75:01]
A
Can talk to you forever. We're like moon y stewing herbs. So where can listeners connect with you further and learn more?
- [75:08]
B
Right. Here by your side forever. I want to travel with you.
- [75:12]
A
Yes. Where I go to India.
- [75:14]
B
I'm at Local Rose. That's my Instagram. And then I have Shiva Rose Beauty, which is my skincare line. And yeah, through there you can find my website and my podia and all that. Those things.
- [75:25]
A
Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.
- [75:28]
B
Thank you, El.
- [75:31]
A
If you love this episode, please leave a review and as a free gift, I will send you my Womb meditation, which is perfect for this episode because it allows you to actually connect to your womb and ask her questions and receive the answers. So all you got to do is head over to the Apple Store, scroll to the bottom, write a review, take a screenshot of it, and email it over to me at sahara I am Sahara rose.com Again you can find that email and all the links mentioned today in the show Notes. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'm so grateful. I love this conversation. Be sure to subscribe to this podcast if you're watching this on YouTube, which I highly recommend. We also have Spotify video as well and that allows you to stay up to date with the latest on divine feminine healing and beyond. Also, be sure to dive in deeper in my Sacred Feminine Mystery School Rose Gold Goddesses and I will share the link below and as well, thank you so much for tuning in and I'll see you in the next one. Trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, Trust your inner guidance. Close your eyes and listen. So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, trust your inner guidance.