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Highest Self Podcast®
646: What Brazil Carnival Taught Me About Sexiness, Expression + Liberation with Sahara Rose
00:51:23
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We all want to be ourselves, but we're afraid that if I am myself, it'll be too much. I'll get too fat, I'm too hairy. I'm too this, I'm too that. And what I love about Brazilians is it doesn't matter what size their body is. Like, they let it out, they shake it, and they're like, look at me. I'm so freaking hot. I'm the one I've been waiting for. Welcome back to the Highest Self podcast. My name is Sahara Rose. On this podcast, I love to talk about spirituality, the sacred feminine, but make it modern, fun, grounded, and relatable. And, should I say colorful, now that I'm here recording to you live from Brazil. So I came here a month ago thinking I'm just gonna do a little carnival moment. I heard so much about Rio Carnival, and it's been a month, and I still haven't left. And I've decided I'm gonna stay for two more and maybe just the rest of my life. And I wanted an episode all about the Carnival state of consciousness, and how we can embody that radiance, that colorfulness, that sexiness every single day in our lives. Because the truth is, you are the Carnival. You get to be in that vibration, that consciousness of celebration and joy that the world is so seeking, that we as individuals are so looking for. And often in these places that make us feel more empty and void from the other side. So I wanted to share my experience. Travel tips, if you're interested in doing Carnival. Everything I've learned from this experience, the story, the. The her story behind it, and so much more. So keep in mind, I'm not a Carnival expert. I have been learning. I've been traveling with fellow Brazilian sisters who I just adore so much. And so there's so much more to. To the history of this as well that I likely won't get to. And it deserves really being learned about and acknowled knowledge. So let's talk about where the word carnaval even comes from. So I did a little research, and I found out that the word actually is a Greek word. So carne, a lot of us know, is meat. And then val actually meant goodbye. So it was a goodbye to meet, a farewell that happened before Lent, before 40 days of fasting that we do before Easter in Christianity. So I'm at home about to also get into this episode with you, but I noticed that over 50% of you are not yet subscribed on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, wherever you're listening to this podcast. And if there's one thing you can do to support me in this podcast and help continue to make it free, it's just a hit subscribe. Plus I'll keep the podcast coming so you don't have to wait till you see a reel on social media to find us again. So just hit subscribe and let's get into this episode. And so this was like the final feast, the final hurrah to indulge and have the good food and have the good wine and enjoy also the meat, our body, the. The human pleasures of sexuality and vibrancy and. And dance and music. So it was a time of just pure indulgence. And there's a Greek mythology around this that there was a God named Momo and this was the God of chaos. And they kicked him out of. Of the. Of the dynasty. And what the king knew was, you know, obviously we wanted order. But what he found out upon kicking Momo out was when you kick out chaos, you actually cannot have order. So Carnaval is allowing the chaos to happen. And actually the mayor of Rio hands over the key to this jester that embodies this God of Momo. So he is like the clown, chaotic jester, you know, jokester energy that we have. And the mayor actually hands over the key symbolically to him and says, for this week, we are going to allow the people to completely take over the city. And it's very different than other carnivals I've experienced. So I've done the Trinidad Carnival two times, and I'm such a fan of that as well. But they're super different experiences. And I would say what the Brazil Carnival is really about is it is completely led by the people. There's no real organization behind it, like you. And I can just decide to start what they call a blocko, a block party. And it. Some of them are organized and, you know, and I'll share with you how you can find them. But, like, we could literally decide to do one right now and just take a bunch of instruments and hit the streets and decide to walk and dance for however long that we want in any direction that we want. It's literally that. And it's not just in Rio, it's all over Brazil. Every single city has their own flavor and style of it. But Rio is really known because they have the sambadromo. And so this is this insane stadium that samba schools train all year. And so when I say samba school, you've probably seen those floats before of like, those insane, like, multi layered Costumed extravaganza with, like, animals. And it almost looks like when you're in Disney World, especially, it reminded me of It's a Small World after all. And there's, like, all the layers of different people. Guaranteed. Walt Disney got his inspiration from Carnival in Brazil because it really has that, like, you look everywhere, and it's. It's insane. You don't even know where to look. And everyone's singing and dancing and celebrating. And so these schools train throughout the year, and within one school, there are hundreds of musicians, hundreds of dancers, and. And each school takes one hour to pass this giant stadium. So there's many different layers to it. And they're all telling stories. So some of them are. Are telling stories of the orishas, the deities. Some of them are telling stories of. Of the history of slavery and the emancipation of slavery in Brazil, telling stories about family. And they sing these different songs that embody it. And the songs are so joyful and happy, even when they're speaking about hard and painful experiences. And I feel that is something I've really learned about sambas. A lot of times, the music you're listening to, it's like, you know, the beat is so great, but when you actually learn what the lyrics are, it's. It's heartbreak, it's pain, it's agony. And I feel, you know, Bad Bunny performed at the super bowl, and so many of us know who he is. But if you speak Spanish, if you listen to the lyrics, the lyrics are quite sad. It's like, I wish I took more photos when we were together, you know, like, it's melancholic. And I feel in a lot of cultures, the way that you dealt with pain was through celebration. And that is a lot of what Carnival in the state of consciousness is. So it is being the vibe. You guys might know my song be the vibe, and it's being the vibration that you want to be. So rather than waiting for a concert where I can, like, finally, you know, wait for this concert, have a moment of joy, and then it closes up again, is I am the cardinal, and I am the experience that I create for other people. So, you know, when you're at a party or a festival and you see a group of people dancing, like, somewhere further up, and you're like, I want to get to those people who are dancing. Like, I want to be in the fun energy. And so you go through the crowd and you finally make it to the people dancing. But what you realize is it's the same music. Like, it's the same level of crowd. But why are they dancing over here? It's just because those people chose to. We get to choose to be the vibe. We get to choose to right now decide that I'm going to be a little bit more extra. I'm going to dance a little bit bigger. I'm going to play with this friend. I'm going to talk to the stranger right next to me. And rather than looking for where the vibe is, I am being that vibe. And that attracts even more of the vibe because, like attracts like. So in Carnival. And I'll. I'll share more. Let me share just some logistics. I know you guys are like, you're telling me all these stories. How does it even work? Like, how do you do it? So how it works is, honestly, the Brazil one is pretty spontaneous, that even if you plan, it likely won't go as planned. But there are different Instagrams that I will link below that list out what the blockos are. So blockos are the block parties. They're basically parades of people who are celebrating together. And each blocko will have certain themes, certain types of music. They're all pretty much samba, but they'll have, you know, some of the blockos will mix it with, like, pop music, Some of it will be, like, with rock music, Some of it will be very cultural, Some of it will be more EDM and modernized. And so to figure out what blockos you're interested in is, you go on the Instagrams and they list out all the different ones in a schedule. And then you look up the Instagrams and you catch a vibe of, okay, I like this kind of music. I really want to do maybe a cultural one or I really want to do, like a big one with Anita or a huge. A huge performer. And so you choose. My suggestion is to actually come to Brazil at least a week before Carnival starts, at least. And I actually enjoyed that pre Carnival experience more than my Carnival week experience because there were a lot less people and I actually had space to, like, move my body and dance. Because when it is Carnival week, you have millions of people coming in and especially the blockos that are very, very popular, like in the most touristic areas, Copacabana, Ipanema, there are so many people there that you feel like an ant. Like, you are so smushed. So I would say if you are not a fan of crowds, do not come to Carnival. If you are very, very energetically sensitive to sound, to lots of, you know, commotion, do not come to Carnival. It is chaos. That is really what the whole thing is about. However, if you are someone that has fun in that chaos, you can deal with being on your feet for a long time. It's super hot. It's the middle of summer in Brazil, so especially so a lot of the blockos actually will start at like six in the morning because of that. So there's a block that I went to that was very cultural in kind of like the hipster area called Santa Teresa. And that one we got there at 5:45 in the morning because it's a very small blocko. The roads are really tiny and we wanted to be able to be next to the music and actually hear it. So we literally got there at 5:45 in the morning. So we woke up, you know, like 4:30. So it's. You got to be that kind of person who's like willing to do those things because by the time it's 9am it is so freaking hot that the last thing you want to do is be on a blocko outside. So I highly suggest like early mornings and not to go to the blockos at night because at night the vibe can really change and people are, a lot of people are drunk and it can be, you know, more dangerous. I never felt unsafe, but I also was not going to ones at night. And I'll talk about safety as like a female solo traveler as well because I know that was the thing, the reason why I've never gone to Brazil to this point from just different stories and experiences that I've heard and I'll share my, my tips around that as well. So you'll go on the Instagram, you'll look up the blockos. I definitely suggest doing pre Carnival before and Carnival actually really starts like the end of January. So you can come like the end of January or early February. I would say the earlier the the better because there's an element of excitement and they're selling the outfits everywhere. So can we take a moment to talk about the outfits? You need to finally start that podcast. Yes. You the one sending 17 minute voice notes to her friend every single day with streams of consciousness, insights on relationships, the state of the world, spirituality. And at the end you say, damn, I really should start a podcast. But for some reason you still have it. So I've been sent from your little angels to tell you that that moment is now. And I know you've probably thought about starting a podcast year after year, but you still don't do it because you feel like you don't know how to get a Podcast off the ground. You don't know the tech. You don't know the processes. You don't know how to hire an editor. You don't know how it gets on YouTube and Spotify and all these different places, and then edited for reels. Like, it all feels so complicated. And above that, you're not really sure what the podcast should be on. Maybe you're into wellness, but you're also into spirituality, and you're also into relationships, and you have all these different interests, and you're not really sure what your niche is. And maybe on social media, your content hasn't really popped off yet because you haven't yet found your voice. Well, if this is you, if I'm speaking to your soul right now, you are exactly who I am so excited to work with in my new podcast mentorship. So I'm running it, our first cohort right now, and it is officially my favorite thing I've ever done. It's only 10 people, so it is intimate, it is personal. I am hearing every single week from you. I'm giving you personalized feedback. I'm helping you with all these things. Your message, your title, what kind of photos you should take for the COVID what the description is. Is it interviews, solo casts, giving you time every week to practice interviewing, practice talking about what your podcast is about. So you can actually, within six weeks, get your podcast off the ground in a really beautiful way, because 90% of people who start podcasts close them within two years. And I don't want that to be you. In fact, I want your podcast to get so big that you have me on one day, hopefully. So if I'm calling your name, I am taking enrollments now for our March cohort. We're actually already 50% full. So I am so excited to get my hands on your podcast to help you bring it out into the world and for it to help so many people. So you can find all of the information in the link in my Show Notes. This is my podcast mentorship again, limited to only 10 people live on Zoom every week, I'll be doing a poll to make sure the time works for everyone. I am so excited to see you there again. Head over to the Show Notes to learn more and get started. To me, this is such a big part of being the carnival is being the costume. Because, you know, when you go to a costume party, it's so much more fun because everyone just took the initiative to make themselves a work of art. And so everywhere you look, you're seeing beautiful colors and sequins and textures and, you know, some people walk on stilts and like, really go like, to the top. And it makes everyone's experience so much better. So if you do come to Carmen of all, please bring costumes. And there's lots of costumes. The shopping in Brazil is insane because it's the first place I've gone where it is normal. In fact, like, wanted for you to be as extra as possible. Like, people will wear just little, like, beaded bikini tops with pasties underneath them and like, go to lunch in it after. And coming from a Persian background, which is like very much in Iran, is the opposite of that against their will. It has been such medicine for me to be in Brazil because it's like the exact opposite of a culture where people can show their bodies, they can be sexy, they can be flirty. And I'm gonna talk about the, the kissing culture in Brazil, because that's a whole other conversation. But it's so the opposite of Middle Eastern consciousness where you're taught, don't make eye contact. If you make eye contact, you're a. And in Brazil, like, people make eye contact, people flirt. People are very open with their sexuality. And that is a big part of Carnival of not suppressing that, but playing with it and out in the open in the middle of the day and it not meaning something. And I feel when you get to play with that energy and, and move it through your body, even if it's just a little cute outfit or a flirty glance, it's not suppressed and hidden in the shadows, which is where, you know, shame and, and cheating and sexual, sexual distortions come from. And so when it's out in the open, it's like you. You played with that energy and it no longer has a hold of you. So really that's what carnival is about. Like, all the things you wanted to do, just do it. So you're, you're. It's not that big of a deal for you anymore. So for me, it was such medicine of just being able to dress how I've always wanted to dress. Like, if there were no men on this plane, I would just be wearing that all day, every day. And so just on the side of the street you can get things. There's. There are shopping malls like in rio that are 14 floors of just bikini shops. And people in Brazil really go the extra mile of hand making a lot of things so you can find lots of macrame or beaded tops and, and things that people put together themselves. And there's lots of really great Brazilian Instagram accounts that I've found that teach you how to do that. People will spend months and months on their carnival outfits. And for me that's the extra touch. You know, in the US I feel we just buy things online. People buy so many things from Amazon and Shein and Temu and these different shops that are like horrible quality, horrible for the environment and because they don't mean anything to you too, you just discard them and a lot of times they break. Whereas in Brazil there's such a craftsmanship to everything that they wear. You know, when you've handmade a macrame outfit, like you are going to really to, to really honor that. And there's less of this culture of I need to wear something new all the time. I feel like in the Western world it's like you can't repeat an outfit. There's something wrong with that. Right. And in Brazil it's not like that at all. Thrift shopping and you know, secondhand and, and holding onto things like higher quality things that you hold onto for a longer period of time. And I feel that is so important for the environment as well. So the outfits are insane. Here's a difference between Brazil Carnival and Trinidad Carnival. In Trinidad Carnival, you. You actually have to join a band in order to be a part of it. So I have to sign up for one of the bands such as Tribe Bliss. There's lots of different bands out there and I have to buy one of the costumes and I'm actually marching with them. So in Trinidad and the music is completely different. It's Soca music, which is this really fast, like kind of dance hall music, but it's a little bit more hypey and jump up and like so much energy and you. And so you're. There's maybe like four or five outfits in each band and so you're wearing one of that. So you're actually in like a, a real like carnival made outfit by a designer when you're doing, when you're in a band. Now if you decided to take place in the, in the sambadromo and be part of a samba school, then yes, you will be in an, in an insane costume. But in Brazil, to be part of a samba school, you have to train with that school for at least six months beforehand. It's a twice a week training in samba. Or you can join as a musician or just join as you know, someone who's just hyping up, but you have to go to all of the rehearsals. So if you're just There visiting, you're not going to be part of a samba school, and you'll just make your own outfits with whatever you have. And if you do. I've not been part of a samba school, but I know a lot of Western people do do them, and I think it would be a really fun experience. So if you're like, I don't know which carnival to do, I would say, what kind of music do you like and what kind of music are you more into right now? If it is more of that samba music, then definitely Brazil, if it's more of that Soca music than Trinidad, because the music changes the entire vibration of. Of everything. I would say Trini Carnival to me was a lot more like bumping, sexy. Like, it felt like a party. I would say the Carnival in Brazil, it was more, to me, family more just like happy joy vibes and obviously a longer period of time. Whereas in Trinidad, it's really like, there's one day that's carnival and. And that week there are some parties, but you're really, like, preparing for that one day. So they're totally different experiences and totally different cultures. But I think those are the two most popular carnivals around the world. And those, though, I love them both equally, just in different ways. And so I wanted to share the different kind of experiences of what they're actually like. So let's talk about some of the kissing and the flirty culture in Brazil, because I think we've all heard about it. So I heard in Brazil, if you make eye contact with someone in Carnival, that means you kiss. I was like, there's no way. How is that? I was like, so you just make eye contact, you don't say a word to each other and you kiss? And my Brazilian friends are like, yes. I'm like, how? Like, I've never seen something like this in my entire life. And guys, it is true. It is true. Like, I don't think it's like, if you just, like, glanced at me at eye contact. But here's what I'm learning about Brazilians. They're not afraid of the eye contact. Like, for me, I'm like, hi. Like, you know, I get very, very shy. Brazilians are not like that. They're just. They make eye contact. They hold the eye contact. And so when the. The both of them are holding the eye contact, I would say for like, five seconds, it's, like, known. And so my first day at the carnival, I was, like, going downstairs with my friend and we were talking and we were like, going on the street. And someone like this Brazilian guy, like, waved, but I thought he was waving at the people behind me. I didn't know him. And so I just kind of looked at him, but I wasn't doing the Brazilian look. I don't feel I was doing the Brazilian look. So I just looked at him because I thought he was waving to someone behind. And then he was just standing there. And we're, like, walking, but I'm just literally talking to my friend. All of a sudden, this man tries to kiss me. I was like, what is going on right now? I was like, no, no, he. And he was like, oh, dyscopa. Like, he was genuinely shocked. He, like, he thought this was, like a walk and kiss moment. Like, he thought it was the Notebook happening. But I wasn't prepared for this, you know, so it's like that. And I've had so many conversations. I have Brazilian friends. I'm like, but do you enjoy this? Like. And it's something about sharing love, like, just sharing love with someone without it being a story, without it needing to be a relationship, without it needing to be this, like. I mean, I think a lot of relationships do start from Carnival, but you can just share this beautiful, intimate, romantic moment with someone. And I saw it all around me. And then they literally walk away from each other right after. They don't even say, like, hi, what's your name? You know, so it is actually quite interesting. And you see it a lot. Like, I was seeing. Everyone was making out around me, and I was like, wow, there's so many couples that come to Carnival together. It's so sweet. But then I would see that same person with someone else. I'm like, oh, I don't. I don't think they actually knew each other. So that is a really interesting thing. And for me, again, Persian culture is like, you have your first kiss once you're married, you know, and so it's like showing me just this different way of flirting and operating with just playful romantic energy without. I think the reason why in Western culture we're so afraid of flirting is because then it's going to mean that I like you and want to be in a relationship with you. And so I'm not gonna ever let it go anywhere near that because I don't know you. And obviously there's a light in that. That, you know, people, I guess, have a little bit more of their own, like, individual space, I would say. But then I would say there's a shadow of that, too. That I know lots of my American girlfriends Are like, it sucks. Guys never approach us guys and never come up to us. And you know, you could be at the gym and, and make eye contact with the guy. And in la he will not come up to you because people are so afraid of being me too, Ed. And I don't know, it's just different. And in Brazil, it actually feels good as a woman that men approach you and they try to talk to you. And I don't know why I'm sharing this one. I'm just going to share this funny story that happened yesterday. So I went to another blocko with my friend. So I'm traveling with my two Brazilian girlfriends. One's from Rio, one's from. From. From Floripa, where I am right now. And we were leaving and then some guy heard us speaking in English and he was like, oh, gringa, gringa. And so if you're not Brazilian, you're a gringa. Like, I've never considered myself to be a gringa because I'm like a brown person and I speak Spanish, but here I'm a gringa. Like, oh, gringa. Like, do you speak? Like, where are you from? And so we were just chatting with him like, oh, I'm from la. Like I'm visiting here. I might stay for a little while. And just that. And I was just being friendly. And then he was like making a joke of like, oh, well, what if we traveled the world together and you know, we could have one house in Brazil and one house in Japan. I was like, haha. Like, you know, they're just all so flirty. I was like, haha. But I didn't even really look at. I didn't even really look at this person. The eye. Cause it was dark and we're like leaving from a beach. And then his friend was like, well, you should propose to her. And then gives his ring. And then he goes on one knee and does this fake proposal to me. And then everyone around us thinks I'm getting proposed to and everyone's clapping for us and they're like, kiss. I'm like, no, no, we're not getting married right now. And I just gave him a hug and it was this like, funny moment. But I'm like, that would never happen in the US like from someone talking to you to them proposing to you. Like even as a joke within eight minutes maybe just would never happen. But I found it really funny. I mean, he was also 10 years younger than me, so I'm not sure how this relationship was. Would have worked though. I guess it's the thing. But it's this playfulness, this banter, and it not meaning anything. It not meaning, like, now we're gonna have to be together, or like, you're just playing with that energy. And I feel if we had more of that flirtatious energy in our lives, we wouldn't be so hungry for a relationship the way that we are in the Western world, where it feels like your only access to love is your, like, life partner. And if you don't have a life partner, you don't have any kind of, like, flirtiness or romance in your life. And I love how Brazilians are always flirting, they're always being romantic, they're always bantering and cracking jokes and things. And so it feels like whether you're single, whether you're in a relationship, you always have access to that energy. So I'm definitely learning a lot about that here in Brazil. I also want to talk about sexiness as a state of consciousness. So when we think of the word sexy in the Western world, it's very focused on outer appearance. You know, this person is very fit. They have a six pack. They, you know, re really take care of themselves. They have a big butt, they have whatever. And we so focus sexy on physical aesthetics. And what I've really learned in Brazil, that sexiness is much more about aliveness. It's about how alive you are, how open you are to life. You know, think about someone and maybe you know someone or a celebrity. You've seen someone that might look very beautiful, but they're void of life force. Maybe they're very controlling. Maybe they are just very regimented with how they are. Maybe there's a coldness or a stiffness to them. And even if they're physically could be perfect right on paper of how we would deem that, but energetically, there's just this dryness to them. And oftentimes in our pursuit of trying to be sexy, we are not eating enough, we are over exercising. We are obsessed with our health, we are obsessed with peptides and Botox and this and that and all these things that are being sold to us. And it actually takes away the very sexiness that is intrinsic to us as human beings. And what I'm seeing here is sexiness really is how alive you are in your body, the moving of your hips, your ability to interact with people and have this playfulness to you, your energy when you're speaking, when you're dancing, when you're singing, There is just this feeling of I am taking up space in my body, in this world. And we are attracted to people who are alive because ultimately the. The real only goal of life is to be fully alive. And someone who is alive, someone who lets themselves laugh, someone who lets themselves get messy, there's something so attractive to that because they're no longer trying to dictate what they're supposed to be, look like and get it right, but rather they just are themselves. And ultimately we all want that. We all want to be ourselves, but we're afraid that if I am myself, it'll be too much, I'll get too fat, I'm too hairy, I'm too this, I'm too that. And what I love about Brazilians is it doesn't matter what size their body is. Like, they let it out, they shake it, and they're like, look at me, I'm so freaking hot. And that sexiness and that confidence is. Is what makes them attractive. It has nothing to do with their body fat percentage, has nothing to do with their skin, has nothing to do with any of those things. It has everything to do with how they feel about themselves. And I feel we can all learn from that. To find ourselves sexy, to flirt with ourselves, to. To be like, yeah, I really am that. Like, I really do bring so much to the table. And I love my own energy and I love dancing with myself, and I love making love to myself. And if someone doesn't see the value in me, then screw that. And that is such a different energy than, I hope he likes me, I hope he chooses me, but I'm probably too fat, and he's probably talking to other girls, and those other girls are so much prettier than I am, which is the dialogue in so many of our minds, especially because we're spending so much time on social media. So I definitely see people in Brazil spend a lot less time on social media than in the us And I noticed it with myself, like in la, I'm on my phone all the freaking time, because I'm spending most of my time alone in my apartment. Because that's the American life. If you work from home, you're just at home, you're checking your phone, you're waiting for the elevator, you're checking your phone, you're at the gym, you're on your phone, talking to your friends is on the phone. And here's another thing I've noticed just about Brazilian culture is there's so much less of an a focus on work the same way that there is an American culture. Of course people work here, but in the US especially, In big cities like Los Angeles, work is God. There is nothing that matters to people more than their work. And they are willing to let go of friendships, relationships, anything that's going to hold them back from their work. And even with my best friends in la, I see them, max, each maybe once a month because everyone's just working all the time. And then when you're not working, you're tired and you don't want to sit in traffic, and it's going to take an hour for me to get there. And there have been so many times that I've had, like, a group dinner with four friends, and then one person the day of is like, oh, I don't know if I can make it. Like, I've got a lot on my plate. And then another person's like, oh, my God, thank you so much for saying that, because I also just got my period. And then we're like, okay, well, then should we just reschedule? You're like, yeah. And you think that's being a good friend because you're not beholding someone to the date. But I realized, like, you know, in some of my groups of friends, we literally have never all had dinner together, and it's been like a year. And I just don't want to live like that. I don't want to live in a world where I have to Google Calendar hanging out with someone for an hour to only have it be canceled the day of. And that's not something we're stuck with. That's something that we. We can change. But I just noticed a culture of massive flakiness, especially in Los Angeles, where it's really, really known for that. And I understand it's coming from the place that getting from one place to another is really taxing, but the truth is, there's traffic everywhere. There's traffic in Brazil, there's traffic in Dubai. There's traffic everywhere. And I just noticed in my life in the us people are just way more likely to cancel plans and just not. Not care so much about that social connection, the same way that they do in other countries where they're willing to sit in the traffic because social connection matters to them so much. So, for example, I went to this little gathering that a friend of mine invited me to. She wasn't even in Rio. She was like, you should go to my friend's gathering. And I went, and then I ended up talking to this girl, and we went on this super deep conversation about love and heartbreak and relationships. And she's about to come here and be Interviewed. Because after that conversation, we hung out the next day. And then I told her, oh, I'm going to this wedding. She says, let's go to the mall. We spent the whole day at the mall. We hung out for like four days straight. And then I'm like, I'm going to Floripa. Do you want to come stay with me? And now she's here in Floripa. And now we're just like, okay, we're best friends and we're traveling the world together. And that would just never happen in the US because people are so much more closed because they're like, and. And this is maybe more LA and New York specific, but is this person going to help my career or not? There's such a consciousness of, I don't want you to waste my time. I only have this much time. And so. And this is very. In the LA influencer world of, like, if you're not. If you don't have more followers than me, if you're not going to get me somewhere, I'm not going to invest my energy in this relationship. So you'll see the same people at parties, but those are people you say, hi, bye. Oh, how have you been at the party? And you will never hang out with them. And you might be considered even good friends in that world because you guys go to the same parties. But there's this, like, lack of investing in actually getting to know someone, holding space for someone, because friendships do come with the. They do come with the shadow. They do come with being sick and taking care of each other. And someone's going through a breakup. And I feel people are so stringent on the, like, they don't want to invest in something that's going to take away, and they just want what's going to give to them. And here in Brazil, it's really the opposite. I've just seen such a warmth, like such a emphasis on relationships. And I. I know scientifically it's proven that our quality of life is determined by our quality of relationships. It has actually very little to do with how much money we make, how much power we have, how many followers we have. I mean, those things are pretty much nothing. They have to do with the quality of our relationships. And I feel the reason why depression and anxiety are so huge in the Western world and Japan, in these places where there's lots of economic wealth, but there's so much isol is because we are afraid of someone taking me back on my path, that we have boundaries and we isolate ourselves because, you know, everyone's going to come with, everyone's going to have bad days. Your friend is not always going to make you feel better. And there is like this like vending machine like consciousness I see in the western world where it's like we're just here to have fun, we're just here to give to me. We're just here to talk about this thing. And the moment that this friendship is, is taking any kind of extra time or energy. We're like screw that, this person's not for me. And I feel in Brazil because there's like a family orientedness as well and a lot more intergenerational hanging out as well where what I loved seeing are groups of people in their 60s and 70s doing carnival together like equally just as much in the outfits, dancing the same, the same carnival. And I feel in the western world it's very focused on age. You know, the 18 year old to 21 year olds are at their kind of parties and then the mid twenties are at their own and then the late twenties at their own and then the early. It's like, it's so age specific. Like if you think about being in school, it was like if you were a eighth grader you would never hang out with a sixth grader. Like that was like two different worlds, right? But for some reason we have carried that. And in other parts of the world it's so much more intergenerational. And I would say in most parts in Iran, in India, where at the same party you are having fun with the aunties, you are having fun with the kids and you are having fun with the grandmothers rather than oh, the old people are here. We can't have fun right now or we got to tone it down because there's the kids. It's like everyone is being their exact selves however they want to be with all the ages. And there's kids running around and there's abuelitas jamming out too. And I just love that so much because that is the kind of world that I would want to have a family in. Like, like I feel a lot of the reason why in the western world in the past I was like, I don't even think I want kids is because I saw the lives of, of mothers, how even more isolated they become of like, oh, you're a woman but now you're a mother, now you and the moms are off on your own. Mothers actually need the support of the non mothers more than everyone. Cuz mothers already have this responsibility of other like the next generation. And then this expectation that these people who already have 1, 2, 4 people dependent on them, maybe a husband completely dependent on them too, now also have to support each other. It's like, no us non mothers are actually meant to be supporting the mothers. And for whatever reason that's been lost. And here in Brazil, I'm like, oh, this, like, kind of culture is so where I would want to have a family. Of course, in places that are. Are more safe, but because you see children are playing and they're outside and they're wrestling and they're having fun and they're able to scrape their knee and ride a bike and do these things without the fear that we have in the US of all the things that can go wrong. And so that, to me, that intergenerational carnival way of living throughout the year is really, really inspiring. So let's take a moment to talk about safety, because I feel that is the reason why a lot of us haven't gone to Brazil or Trinidad or many different places. And I'll be doing the second episode today with my other friend I'm here with, who is a female solo traveler from Brazil. And so I have solo traveled. I can't even count maybe 25 countries. And I've learned so much. So my biggest piece of advice for really any country is to go with the locals. And you might say, I don't know any. Make friends. Go to the samba class in your city. If you want to go to Brazil, go to the Soca parties in your city. Become friends with people of the culture. Because first of all, I think there's a level of respect. We need that. This is a cultural practice. This is a historical practice, especially Carnival comes from the African diaspora, both, I mean, all around Latin America. And so there is a level of respect that I feel we can only get from the local people. And understanding even a lot of what I've shared are my Brazilian friends who've taught me. And so. So I really suggest become friends with Brazilian people before you go. And there are Brazilian people everywhere in the entire world. Go to samba classes, go to your Fogo de Chao, I don't know, go wherever they're hanging out and be friends with them and get to know them and ask them questions. And that's just such a great way to genuinely build a connection. Now, do you need that? No, you can totally come and not know someone. But then when you're here, get to know the local people. So. So if you're staying at hostels, that's a really great Place to get to know. I mean, I would say more other travelers are in hostels, but the carnival is a great place going. You know, people in Brazil are super, super friendly. So they do this partner dance called the foho. And it is this almost like Brazilian cowboy partner dance. And that is such a great place. And they have them in every city, like almost every night. It is like how people hang out and such a great way to meet people for dating too. So go to the foho. Go to. They do a lot of karaoke here. I went to this karaoke. They were like professional freaking singers. So go to the karaoke, go to the samba. And a lot of people do speak English. Like, I would say it's not as much English as other places in the world that I've gone to, but you will definitely find people who can speak conversationally. Of course, learning Portuguese would be ideal, but even with Spanish, I have been able to get around through speaking Spanish. If someone doesn't speak English and more or less like worry and with some sign language, like, we're able to figure each other out, out. So go to those places, interact with those people. If I were a female solo traveler, I would definitely stay more in. In the touristic areas. I wouldn't go to a favela and decide to stay there just because you're going to have to go in and out of the favela. Favelas are kind of town. Townmanships that have been made over time. When there was the emancipation of slavery, they did not have anywhere that they could go. And so they started to just build homes that sort of started to layer and layer and layer and layer upon each other. And now in. In all over Brazil, like, favelas often are like, just as big as the city and they're very beautiful and they have incredible views. And so you can go to. If you've seen the movie City of God that takes place in a favela in Rio, and it's such a beautiful movie that tells a lot of the story of the drug dealing and the hardships that people experience living there. So if you do want to go to favela 100%, you've got to go with a local person and actually like go on a tour. There are definitely favelas such as Vidigal that are safe to go to, or Rocinha, but that's definitely something that you want to do with local people during the day in a safe place. But most of Rio or Brazil is. Is not that. I think we all know it to be that. And interestingly enough, if favela is maybe like one of the safest places you can be when it comes to phone theft, because you're not allowed to steal phones there most of the phone. I would say the biggest theft thing that happens in Brazil is taking your phone. And so the precautions I would do for that are to just not be on your phone, walking around on the street. Like, if you're just walking on the street with your phone in your hand and you're not looking, your phone will probably get snatched. In Barcelona, London, any major city, like we are, especially in today's world, that just happens. I've seen it happen from inside buses, people in buses getting their phone touched in London. So I can't say it is only Brazil. That really happens in a lot of cities. So what it's actually taught me is to be a lot more present. If I'm walking around the streets, what I would have done in LA is look down at my phone the whole time, play music the whole time, be oblivious to everyone around me, and be staring at my screen telling me, turn left, turn right, turn this. Not even looking at the street around me. That's what I would have done in la. Here I'm like, okay, it says walk two streets, take a left. I'm gonna see this Suco juice place. And then I'm gonna. And I try to remember as much as I can. I'm not listening to music and I'm present and I'm aware of my surroundings and I'm with the people. Actually makes me so much more available for life, available for hearing that random song that went by, listening to the kids laughing. And I actually really love that. Like, even on the beach here, I don't listen to music. I just listen to the waves. And so I just keep my phone in my bag. If your phone is in your bag, like, it's a very, very, very little chance your whole bag is going to get stolen. It's mostly just people when they have their phone in their hand. And it's mostly motorcycles that go by. So if you do have your phone in your hand, you need to look at directions. Just kind of come to store or inside a shop. And I'm talking about more in Rio and big cities. It doesn't really happen so much in places like Floripo, where I am right now. But just go in the shop, look at the thing, and then you can go out. I would say that is the only big theft thing that I have really felt and been aware of. And seen. But besides that, I have felt fine. The only other moment that there was like a phone theft kind of experience was during Carnival, which is probably like the height of when theft happens because it's the height of, of of tourism. I was in an Uber at night, like at midnight coming back from this foho with a friend of mine and I was in the back of the Uber and he was stopped at a red light and he had his, his front windows down, which he shouldn't have done. And so there was actually a kid that tried to reach his hand inside the Uber and take my phone from my hand. It was like a nine year old boy, which was pretty shocking. He didn't get my phone. But that was a reminder to me of course of keep windows up, especially at night. And I just didn't think of that, you know. And it wasn't my window, it was the window in front of me. So that was like kind of a slap, like okay, you do have to have precaution here. It's not the United States. So I would say if you are in an Uber, have your windows up just to be safe. Again, I don't think that happens often, but in times like Carnival where there are lots of people and people aren't paying attention, it can happen. And it's interesting because most of the time sometimes that phones are snatched are from little kids just because they can't go to jail for it. And so like older people like incentivize them to do it and they don't really understand like danger. And so sadly it's, it's a lot of kids but apparently they're having a harder and harder time selling phones so it's happening less. So that is really the only safety issue that I would really like be precautious of in terms of like my physical safety. I've never felt felt in danger. I have felt a lot more in danger in Venice Beach, California. I do not walk on the streets there at night ever. I'm in constant fear. It is buck wild. Oh, do you know where it's worse? San Francisco, California. Don't go there. And then worse than all of that is London, where my place literally got broken into. So I would say it's interesting because we like speak so much about, oh, you can never go to Brazil, it's so dangerous. The theft, the crime, the this. And like when you're here you're like, like wait, it was actually Europe and in the US and these big cities that like a lot of the bigger things happen I mean, there's crazy theft happening right now in San Francisco and these places. And it's sad, and I wish we didn't live in that kind of world, but it's just something that in big cities we have to be precautious of. So I did want to speak into that. I stayed at Airbnbs. I felt totally safe. I obviously, I always just try to stay more in, like, city centers, places I can walk places. So I would really recommend doing that. Brazil is so clean, like, like it. The sanitary is just amazing here. I've not gotten sick from the food whatsoever. Whereas in Bali, and I've been going to Bali for more than 10 years, but this year in Bali and just. I might do a podcast about just, like, what's going on in Bali, but got very, very sick there. I was, like, sick for over a month. My friend was sick, like, half of the time, like, for months. And I just feel the island of Bali has really had enough of people traveling there and, and taking advantage of the culture and taking an extra acting. And so even in this episode, I really want to share, please go with the intention of learning and giving and keeping the culture intact. You know, I was telling my Brazilian friend, I'm like, I don't even know if I want to do this episode because I don't want people to come here, Americans, and ruin the Carnival. And she was like, no, we want people to come, and we. Carnival is about being for everyone, but it's also about honoring the culture. And so listen to samba music, learn the stories, and when you come, like, be a fly on the wall. You know, it's not about. And I know you guys are so not like that. But it's not about a party of getting as drunk as possible. But really, it is a political statement. Carnival is a statement of saying, I'm not going to follow all of the rules. I'm going to dress freely, I'm going to dance wildly, I'm going to kiss a stranger because I feel like it, because that is who I am. That is my humanity, that is my expression. And can we take even just 10% of that energy and bring it with us throughout the year? Can we embody that sexy scene, state of consciousness? Can we dress a little bit more colorfully? Can we be that vibration and, you know, make everyone's experience more joyful by us simply choosing? I'm just going to be that. You know, what I. I see is just this baseline level of joy of people in. In Brazil that I've not seen anywhere Else. And there is poverty and there is crime and there are so many hardships that they deal with. Life is far from perfect here. Life is far from perfect every, everywhere. But interestingly enough, like my friend and I were speaking about how in Brazil and in a lot of these like hotter places, there is more risk, but there's so much more fun. And then in these places where everything is like perfect and sterile and you know, like northern Europe and Japan and it's like the, the, the life is, is so perfect, right? But there's this like emptiness and voidness that people don't experience. And I feel like in Brazil people are like, yeah, life is hard and I don't have lots of money, but I'm just going to sing and dance and not hold on to things. And even if something goes wrong, I just feel there is this sense of, of overcoming rupture. You know, even in friendships, I feel the reason why they're able to have these long standing friendships is if there is a rupture, there is a weirdness. They just talk about it, hug it out and move on. And I feel the reason why there's such a loneliness epidemic in the western world is because the moment there's a conflict with someone, we are so quick to them off and instead, can I just be like, okay, I maybe don't agree with this person on a hundred percent of what they do, or we don't align in this area of our life where we don't align politically. But that doesn't mean I have to discard this entire person. Because everyone has beauty, everyone has light. With every person there's gonna be things that you jive on. And I feel we can all just take more of a considerateness with people around us because we all want joy and we all want laughter after. But it's going to come also with the shadow. It's going to come also with the. After Carnival is done and you have a blister on your foot and you know you got to get in the metro and it's hard to get home and there's. It, it comes with that too. But like part of the reason why you experience so much joy is because you worked for it. You know, like there's like a level of suffering that you do that then you're here in the experience and it's like, oh my God, this was all worth it. And I feel in the western world we often just like get the thing. We get the Amazon package and it's like here. And I didn't, I Didn't do anything for this. Like, I've got the macrame outfit, but I didn't make it by hand. I'm at the concert, but I was not involved in this. There's such a difference of. I literally have been learning how to play the. The trumpet for nine months, this song, and here I am finally playing, and people are dancing to it like that. Gratification. And so the invitation is, how can we create experiences? How can we. We work on things for longer periods of time. Projects, parties, retreats, just invitations for things that we can build and grow and build community with and bring people from different walks of life that aren't necessarily our age or help us in our careers or align with us politically. But can we all come together for the sheer point that humans all love joy? Like, we all love music, we all love to dance, we all love colors, we all love to have fun. Fun. And I really feel like carnival will save the world. Like, the whole world needs carnivals. And so my invitation is, can we make carnivals in every single country? Bring everyone together. Bring the politicians, please. I think if they all wore, like, little rainbow tutus, like, they'd stop fighting. What do you guys say? So let me know how this was. Please share in the comments on YouTube, on Spotify. Wherever you're listening to this episode, I'm curious any other questions you have. I'm happy to. Happy to share behind the scenes of any other countries I've been to. And please stay tuned because I have incredible Brazilian guests coming up on this podcast that I just shared about dear sisters sharing about solo traveling, about tantra, flirting with life, intimacy, and more solo cast. So be sure to subscribe wherever you're listening to this episode and I'll see you in the next one. Trust your intuition. Trust your inner wisdom. Trust your inner guidance. So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, Trust your inner guidance.