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Highest Self Podcast®
651: The Break-Up You Didn't See Coming- What To Do When The Rugs Been Pulled From Under Your Feet with Sahara Rose
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We need to go through these initiations of karmic relationships in order to have our dharmic relationship. So karmic relationships are the ones that teach us these profound lessons that shift us as people that rock our world. The people that change our lives more than anything are the villains in our story. The person who broke our heart, the person who betrayed us like that is actually the person who changes our life more than anyone else. And so big gratitude to your ex for who you've become and who you're becoming. Because, truth be told, would you have left that relationship without this thing happening? Welcome back to the Highest Self podcast. My name is Sahara Rose, and on this podcast I love to talk about spirituality, matters of the heart. But make it modern, fun, grounded, and relatable so it can actually serve your needs. So I recently started writing my fourth book, and this book is the book that is by far the most meaningful, raw and vulnerable in my entire life. And it shares the story of my divorce and everything I overcame on the other side. And I'll be sharing so many more episodes about the topic, but I wanted to really dive into the breakup that you didn't see see coming, because I see this happening so much in in the collective. And I feel like sometimes we have to walk this path before our sisters to be able to hold that torch and hold that space and give that hand to say, you're going to be okay. Because there is nothing like being blindsided like a breakup that rocks your world in the same way. And if there's anything that I've learned is that when that happens, it is God giving you a get out of jail card and giving you a slip to a new reality than you could have ever imagined before. So I'm at home about to also get into this episode with you, but I noticed that over 50% of you are not yet subscribed on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, wherever you're listening to this podcast. And if there's one thing you can do to support me in this podcast and help continue to make it free, it's just a hit subscribe. Plus I'll keep the podcast coming so you don't have to wait till you see a reel on social media to find us again. So just hit subscribe and let's get into this episode. So mine happened four years ago, and I can't believe it's been four years. Some of you guys have been watching me podcast, you know, be even before it. Some of you guys have been with me for all nine years of this podcast. And it was something that I could never have seen coming. There were no big red flags. And I could say now four years later, of doing so much work, I could still say, while there were things I could say, oh, well, maybe this could have been a red flag, or that could have been a red flag. At the end of the day, you can't jump to conclusions, and you don't really know someone cheating on you based on little things until you find out. And betrayal can come in so many different ways. It can come through literal infidelity, but it can also be the betrayal of that person hiding something from you, hiding a secret, hiding an addiction, hiding a part of themselves that they've never shown to you before. And I am just in conversations with so many women every single day. So many of you guys message me saying, I've been married for 20 years and I did not know that this was going on in my marriage. Or all of a sudden, he wants to be with this other person and feeling like the rug was pulled from under your feet. And so if you're in this right now, I. I want to tell you, first of all, like, I am sorry that you're in this experience. It is. Nothing prepares you for it. And, and, and while I'm sorry, I'm also really excited for you because when you enter into a relationship, you enter into a timeline, you enter into a portal. Like a relationship is a ship. You are on a ship with someone, and part of you becomes beholden to that version of yourself that you stepped onto that ship as. So maybe you met this person and you were showing up a certain way in the world or had a specific kind of beliefs and conditioning. All these things, by the way, we all do, because we all change over time. Like, when I met my ex husband, I was 24 years old, right? So 11 years ago. And so you are a certain version of yourself then. And then as you are changing, part of you subconsciously feels like, well, I can't really fully change into who I want to be because then I'll lose the relationship. And so you don't actually even consider that to be possible for yourself. Like, when I was married, if someone said, oh, you can go and live in Brazil and dance in the carnival in a. In a thong and shake your ass on the streets, I'd be like, what? No, that's not for me. I would never even want that. Right. It wasn't in my field. It wasn't my periphery. Like being an artist, like creating afrobeats music, like, no, none of those things. Were in my field. However, I remember looking at the outfits of people in carnival being like, wow, they are so beautiful. Oh my God, in the next life I'm going to do that. I'm going to be a samba queen in the next life, you know, But I never thought it could be me. And so I invite you right now to think about the things that maybe you always wanted to do. Like the archetypes that you wanted to step into. Like, maybe you were like, I see these women, they're in the waterfalls and they're so connected to nature and they're in their shakti feminine energy. Like, I want, I wish I could be that. But I can because I got this job. I can't because I've got these kids. It's like, okay, the invitation now is, how can you start to step into that version of yourself? And we often put all of these blocks of, I can't because I'm too old, I don't have the money, it's too late, it's too this, it's too that. None of it is true. So first think about an archetype or a topic. Like, I remember when I was in that life, I would read books about sexuality and some of my friends would write books about them. I would interview people about it. But then I would think, I would love to share about sexuality one day. But I could never, because I'm Persian. And then I started to ask myself, why do I think that just because I'm Persian, I can't talk about these things? Like, I have to be beholden to the patriarchy for the rest of my life? Like, no, I'm not doing that. And so it was like the divorce actually caused me to break through all of these other forms of self imposed conditioning that I had taken. And so when the rug is pulled from under your feet, it's actually this shattering moment. It's this tower moment in the tarot where it's like, what is everything else that you want to be shattered with it? What are the different beliefs you had identities you had, roles you were playing, ways you were showing up, things you were saying, people you hang out with, ways you were dressing, places you were living, every single little thing. You, you actually start to shake it up. Like, you know when you got sand in your bag and you got to take every single thing out and shake it out, and then you're like, oh, why have I been carrying the sock with me this whole entire time? Do I even want the sock? Oh, and I had this freaking napkin with me and oh, wait, that was my lip gloss I forgot about. You start to do inventory on all these different pieces of yourself, and then you can decide, like, oh, I do want to keep this part of myself that I've developed. I really love this part of myself. But maybe the version of it now is going to be more like this. So maybe you really love that you moved to Paris with this person and you're like, I don't necessarily want to leave Paris. I like my life here. But maybe I change the arrondissement, you know, maybe I change the neighborhood, Maybe I make new friends there. Maybe I change what I do for work or change where I. Where I hang out. So it doesn't necessarily mean every single little thing in your life needs to be rocked, but upgraded. And when that happens, you actually start to shift so much as a person that you stop recognizing who you were before because your identity shifts so much that you actually are, like, identity collapsing because now you don't act the same, dress the same, think the same, behave the same as that version of you before. You've upgraded every area of your life, and so you would never want to go back to that version of you in the relationship. And I feel the reason why breakups are so hard to get over is because we wish we were still back in it. We wish that we still had that stability, the love, the trust, the sense of belonging. You know, lots of things that we take for granted do get pulled from. From under us in a relationship. But the invitation is, how can I make something that's even truer to this version of me? And also, it's your invitation to step into different archetypes and interests that you are doing for you, that whoever you meet in the future will meet the version of you that already does this. For example, I have always wanted to bachata dance. Like when I was a kid, solo Porumbeso. Like, Aventura is my jam. Like, I just love Romeo Santos, like, more than anything. And I just wanted to bachata dance, but I was like, I can't, like, take on bachata dancing because you got to dance with men. And I can't do that because I'm married and I don't want to make him jealous. And, you know, you just. Just wasn't an important thing in my mind because I. I didn't want to rock the boat at all. And so I just decided, in this life, I won't bachata dance. I'll just listen to the music and do it by myself sometimes. And then after, and it was actually more recently that I'm like, no, I really want to bachata dance. Like, this is something that I love watching the videos of it. It's so romantic. It's so sensual. It's so beautiful. It's so interconnected. And I am just going to do it. And these moments when you're single are the times that you can take on these new hobbies, viewpoints, like places that you want to live, and that just becomes part of who you are. And then it's no longer this thing of you have to enter into a relationship and then convince that other person to do it. So a huge example is where you live. I see so many women and they say, my dream is to live in Italy. My dream is to live in Bali or wherever. And then I'm like, so why don't you go move there? They're like, no, no, no, I can't. But, like, I want to meet someone from there. It's like, what are the chances that you in your town are going to meet someone from there? And both of you are going to agree that you're both going to move there at the same time? Like, it is possible, but it's so much less likely than you just moving there. I guarantee you, if you just move to Italy and you spend enough time in it, eventually you will fall in love with someone from Italy. And then you can have that Italian under the Tuscan sun life that you've always wanted. But I feel so many of us have been conditioned to think that a man is a ticket to a new life. If I want to live in Italy, I got to find an Italian man to bring me there. No bitch is called fucking American Airlines. Like, take yourself. And so we're waiting for someone to give us this life, when really it is us who gets to give it to us. And I feel like that's what solo travel gives us, is we get to take ourselves places that we could have never imagined before. You know, it's the little maiden consciousness in us that's like, I want someone to take me traveling around the world. I want someone to show me this. I want. I want to see the Eiffel Tower. So I gotta wait for some guy to take me. It's like, you're gonna have a lot more fun on the girls trip. I'm just being honest with you. Like, just go with some girls. Go and have fun. See the Eiffel Tower. Do a whole photo shoot at it if you want. Like, dress up in outfits, like, do reels there. Like, make it a whole day. That you're like fully in your Marion Antoinette costumes, if you would like, like those are the kind of things that, like, your girls will want to do more than some guy that you just found. And so if there's anything I've learned from this experience is like anything I've wanted to do, I. I take myself to it. And there is this level of self love that you get from that experience that you're like, wow, I have taken myself places that no one has ever have. I've shown myself things. I've been there for myself in a way that someone was even 10% of that, I would be madly in love with them. But I'm doing a hundred percent of that. And so why am I not madly in love with myself? And so there is such a gift. And I really feel that God, higher consciousness sometimes needs to pull the rug from under your feet for you to make the change that you would have never made without this. Because, truth be told, would you have left that relationship without this thing happening? It needed to get this bad for you to make a change, and it needed to be that dramatic for you to actually walk away. And the doors needed to be shut that freaking hard for you to not go back. And so your soul designed this experience as dramatic as it is. Maybe you listen to some bachata music too. And so our souls can make these, you know, very romantic novel life stories for ourselves because they're what we need to learn those lessons. Because the truth is, maybe in that relationship you knew something was a little off, but maybe it was a hard season, maybe things would change. Maybe that's just what marriages are. Maybe that's just what relationships are. No one's perfect. And look, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think there's a beauty in holding on when things are hard. I think there's a beauty in not running away the moment there's discomfort. But right now all you can do is accept that this relationship is over. And we spend so much time processing that other person. Oh God, well, his childhood and his mother and you know what it was like for him, and he was bullied and the codependency and the enmeshment and this. And it's like if you spent a percentage of the amount of time that you spend psychoanalyzing his childhood as you did your childhood, you would be in such a different. And so sometimes we do this, this, like hyper focus on the other person, their attachment wounds. And guys, if your Instagram is a bunch of videos on avoidance I'm speaking to you right now. If you are on that train, I. I see you. And guess what? No amount of you understanding avoidance is going to change that. Avoidant. All we can do is ask ourselves, why do I still give so much of a why am I still trying to make someone see me who can't see me? Why am I trying to force someone to love me who doesn't want to love me in that way anymore? And here's the thing. They did the best that they could. And I do believe any love you shared with someone was real. And I also do believe that any love you shared with someone was worth it. You know, as sorry as I am for this experience, I'm also so grateful. Because having your heart broken is the best thing that could ever happen for you. Because nothing rocks your world like it. Nothing makes you sexier than it. Nothing makes you more alive than it. Because it gives you such a range of emotions that nothing else will ever give you. You need to finally start that podcast. Yes, you the one sending 17 minute voice notes to her friend every single day with streams of consciousness, insights on relationships, the state of the world, spirituality. And at the end you say, damn, I really should start a podcast. But for some reason you still have it. So I've been sent from your little angels to tell you that that moment is now. And I know you've probably thought about starting a podcast year after year, but you still don't do it because you feel like you don't know how to get a podcast off the ground. You don't know the tech, you don't know the processes. You don't know how to hire an editor. You don't know how it gets on YouTube and Spotify and all these different places and then edited for reels. Like it all feels so complicated and above that you're not really sure what the podcast should should be on. Maybe you're into wellness, but you're also into spirituality and you're also into relationships and you have all these different interests and you're not really sure what your niche is. And maybe on social media, your content hasn't really popped off yet because you haven't yet found your voice. Well, if this is you, if I'm speaking to your soul right now, you are exactly who I am so excited to work with in my new podcast mentorship. So I'm running our first cohort right now and it is officially my favorite thing I've ever done. It's only 10 people, so it is is intimate, it is personal. I am hearing every single week from you. I'm giving you personalized feedback. I'm helping you with all these things. Your message, your title, what kind of photos you should take for the COVID what the description is. Is it interviews, solo cast, giving you time every week to practice interviewing, practice talking about what your podcast is about. So you can actually, within six weeks, get your podcast off the ground in a really beautiful way, because 90% of people who start podcasts close them within two years. And I don't want that to be you. In fact, I want your podcast to get so big that you have me on one day, hopefully. So if I'm calling your name, I am taking enrollments now for our March cohort. We're actually already 50 full. So I am so excited to get my hands on your podcast to help you bring it out into the world and for it to help so many people. So you can find all of the information in the link in my Show Notes. This is my podcast mentorship, again, limited to only 10 people live on Zoom every week. I'll be doing a post hold to make sure the time works for everyone. I am so excited to see you there again. Head over to the Show Notes to learn more and get started. Like, you feel the depths of sadness and pain and loneliness and despair. Like, you hit the bottom of the barrel. Like, especially if you are in the beginning of it, you're in the worst feeling and on earth right now. Like, I'm. I. I'm telling you, you're not making this up. It's the worst feeling on earth and on the other side, and I'm not saying the other side is in this amount of time or in this many years. It comes in peak moments. It comes in waves. What I've noticed is grief. It's like, it's this wave that we rock. And there are moments of, like, ample aliveness and then, like, dread, and then, like, oh, my God, this amazing thing that would have never happened if we didn't break up. And then like, oh, my God, this is my first Valentine's Day by myself. And then, wow, I met this other person. They're so much more in alignment with me. And it didn't work out. Oh, my God, I'm never gonna find love again. It's like a fucking roller coaster, you know? But in that roller coaster, you start to meet places of yourself that you would have never met before. You feel things you would have never met before. And it's like, your radio station used to be at, like, you know, the back in the day we had the radio station, you have to, like, find the station, but maybe you only had access to like 800 to 1200. You know, you only had. You'd only find a couple stations in there sometimes. Now you can go down to zero. Go all the way down to zero. You can go up to 10,000. There's a lot of different radio stations. There's so many different emotions you've never felt like. And textured and nuanced and layered ones, like melancholic ones, that it's like you're crying and laughing at the same time. You're excited and you're scared. And I really feel like that's where life is really at. It's. It's feeling a mix of things at once that you're like, holy. Like, I'm really in this. Like, I'm really alive. Like, I'm really doing the freaking thing. And when you've experienced a real heartbreak, first of all, like, I feel really sorry for people who've never experienced real heartbreak. I. I genuinely. I feel very even sorry for you. I feel sorry for them because they're so boring. My God, they're so boring. Like, I mean, maybe this is you. You're just listening to this for fun, and I doubt you're really listening to this, but, like, you know people, they just married their high school sweethearts and, like, that's it. We've been together since high school, and here we are, three kids later, minivan. I personally don't know any of those people. I don't. Do you? I think they. We left them all in high school. It's like there is such a boringness to that that, like, you've never had your heart broken. Like, you've never reminisced on an ex and almost gone back to Harry and didn't happen. Like, you've never, like, met someone that thought was your. You thought yours, your twin flame was actually your twin nightmare. Like, you've never had, like, a past life connection with someone. Then you realize why that ended. In the past life, you've never had those things. Like, that's so boring. And so maybe right now you have and you're like, I did marry my high school sweetheart and we're divorcing. It's like, oh, God, your life is about to get so much more interesting. Like, you're about to be that person, the friend dinner that they're like, so tell us about your life. We want to hear stories like, you are about to be that one that every time people talk to you, they're like, oh my God. But that's if you're really doing it. Not everyone, some people are just like, I'm miserable, I'm sad and I'm single. No, you gotta really do it. But if you do it, it's like you become Samantha, right? Like we all loved Samantha in Sex in the City. Obviously because she was so alive, she was so open to experience, she was so herself. And I'm not saying you gotta like go out there and date as many people as she did. But there is this level of around and find out. You know, there is this. I am reciprocating with life and I feel oftentimes when we're in long term relationships, we become so tunnel focused and it is something biologically that happens that your life becomes very routine, you know, like you nest with that person and you stop wanting to go to parties. Like the things you used to just do on a whim when you're single, like hey, I'll go to this random person's event cuz I might meet someone, you know. And then you end up making, making a friend and traveling the world together. These are the kind of things that happen when you're single. When you're in a relationship, you're like, oh God, yes, I don't have to leave the house anymore. You stop leaving the house, which can be fun at the beginning. And you start staying in, you start eating snacks, you stop dressing up and you stop really hanging out with friends. But you still want to, but you're just busy and you're so in the love bubble and you're getting so much from this person and it, it happens, it happens to every single one. I'm sure it's happened with you. I'm sure it's happened with your friend. It's like your friend gets into a relationship like see you in two years, like we all know. But then what happens is you lose all the parts of yourself that you loved. All the parts of yourself that you cultivated in your singleness. Where it was like you and you. And you lose that sparkliness that you wore when you would wear that outfit, even though the outfit could be uncomfortable. But it changed how you showed up in the world. And you stop going on random adventures and meeting new people. And all of a sudden your life can become super mundane and routine. And that same routine that you desired from the relationship ends up making the relationship extremely boring. And over time it's like you start to reminisce on those days that you are single and, and Saying yes to experiences and traveling. And so the gift of maybe you didn't choose this breakup, maybe you didn't see it coming, but how incredible that you, at this level of consciousness, at this level of your life, your career, are able to now have that single experience, knowing what you know now. It's like you get to do your 20s, but like, with more money and you're even hotter. Like, it's, it's so much better now. And so I feel it's the second lease on life that we would have never chosen for ourselves because we just weren't thinking that way. We, we didn't, we didn't even think we were worthy of it. That the goddess was like, no, I want you to have this moment. And instead of feeling like, oh my God, maybe I'm in my 50s and I'm single and how am I going to do this? And I don'. Know how to date. And the world has changed so much. It's like, oh my God, I get to choose someone. Now with all the experiences that I've had and all the things I know about relationships, and now with all of that, I get to choose someone. That's a freaking gift. Because most people are in partnerships with people they chose before their awakenings. And it is such an uncomfortable feeling when, you know, you want to connect deeper. You know, you want to have deeper conversations, deeper sex, deeper intimacy. You want to have breathwork, tantric sex marathons with this person. And they're not willing to have it. Like, that sucks. And so instead you get to cultivate that within yourself. And then whoever you're with, it's like, they have to, if, if it's the thing that matters to you, it's something you prioritize. They have to have that. Like, for me, if you don't bachata dance, just like, I don't, this will never work. You know, it's like a non negotiable for me at this point. And so you get to choose your non negotiables now. And beyond that, you get to bask in you just making choices for yourself. This is such a radical gift that women never had historically. Do you think your grandmother had time to just like, figure herself out? Do you think your grandmother, like, was like, you know what, I'm gonna take the next two years to maybe, I don't know, like, go to Brazil and dance in the carnival and then, you know, date a bunch of different guys and see what happens and go on some adventures with my girlfriends. And at this age, no, absolutely not. Most of our grandmothers were married young, taking care of kids, taking care of grandkids until their last days. Some of our grandmas take adventures when they're older and I love that for them. But for whatever reason, your soul chose for you to have this moment right now. How freaking exciting is that? Like, you get to for the first time do life for you, not to compromise with anyone else, not to choose the middle path. Like, you get to put yourself first. And for us women, we have such a hard time doing that because we are told from the time we're girls. Like, that is selfish. Putting yourself first. You're so selfish. How dare you. And so we minimize our desires to be. Well, what's the desire that can fit in the box? What's the desire that will maintain this relationship, maintain this family, maintain this dynamic? I guarantee you, even if you have kids, even if you have responsibilities, the people in your life will want you to take time for yourself. They will want you to explore, they will want you to go inwards. Whether it is for a week, whether it is for a month, whether it's for how long. The people in your life who care about you know how momentous this moment is. Because anyone who's been through a divorce or breakup knows it is like a before and after moment. Like bcad like life is never the same. And it is important to really take that time to ask my. To ask yourself, who do you want to be? What do you want your life to be? Because this is such a moment that you can take strides that you would have never done before. Like huge life altering decisions. Whether it is moving to a new country, whether it is changing your career path, whether it is taking on a new project, things that will fundamentally shift your whole entire life. You get to do right now. And you might say, well, I'm not even sure what it is. Sometimes you just gotta try things to figure it out. Like, yes, Journal on it. Yes. Pay attention. You know, some things I would pay attention to are what are the things I'm pinteresting? Go on, Pinterest. What are the things that are catching my eye? Like maybe I keep pinning Egyptian pyramids. Like obsessed with pyramids. Some reason Cleopatra, eye of Horus, like some part of you wants to go to Egypt. And so maybe now. No. Okay, I'm gonna put that on the altar of my priorities. You know, I always say make priority triangles. What's at the top of this triangle? Maybe it's the Egypt trip, maybe it's the Sahara desert, maybe it is learning Japanese. Maybe it is doing capoeira, like, whatever that is for you. So sometimes Pinterest can give us those ideas. The second thing is on social media, like, what are your Explore page tells you so much about your consciousness. And you can often, like, look at someone's Explore page and I'm going to tell you who they are. And so for mine, it's all Latin dancing. Like, I've shared with you, that is my special interest right now. And so because that is the algorithm of my life, I was looking up, like, what are Latin dance events that I can go to? And then I shared about that on my Instagram. And then a girl was like, oh, did you know in Rio, in the end of March, while you're there, there's this whole Kazomba Dancing festival. Now I'm going to this Kazomba Dancing Festival. Like, it's one thing leads you to another, but you have to put the energy and the momentum towards it. It. It's like when you make friends with someone and you hang out and then before you know it, you made friends with another one of their friends, and then before you know it, another one. And this whole world opens up to you. It's the same thing. Breakups are such an opportunity for us to just be open to new things. Another thing is that personally for me is what kind of music are you listening to? So after my divorce, I was listening to so much Afrobeats music, I did not want to listen to anything else. And I didn't understand why, but it was something about their voices and how earthy they were that was healing me. And from listening to so much Afrobeats music, I started DJing more afro beats and then became curious about how to make production, how to make songs. And then from making beats, I started singing on Afrobeats and created my album that ended up getting millions of streams and became an Afrobeats artist. And had I not followed that chain of wow, I'm obsessed with listening to this music to now. How can I be involved with this music? I went to Afro Nation, a very big music festival. That's where I met my engineer who ended up being on my songs, Willie Noir. Met him at the festival, dancing there. I. And I went there completely by myself. And so I share this because interests are portals into new worlds and through. I like this thing. I'm stepping into this thing. I'm going to spaces of this thing. I'm opening myself up to be friends with the other people that are here. Like, I met him literally in the sand on the Dance floor. He was like doing these crazy dances. And then when he was done, I was like, you're such an amazing dancer. And then he was with this dance crew, and then we were all just dancing together and that's how we became friends. And had I not walked up to him and said, you're such an amazing dancer, we would have never spoken and I would have never made my album. And so it's little things like that, that sometimes you look at someone else and you're like, how did Sahara do it? I'm literally telling you how I just talk to random people. Like, that is it. That is it. And I feel the more open you are, the more God and source starts to communicate to you guys. There is nothing like after a breakup that the synchronicities are on another level. It is everywhere. And it is like the universe just like turned up the volume and all of a sudden everything is a sign. Have you guys noticed this? It's like angel numbers up the wazoo, like license plates giving you signals. Like, so do you know what I love to do again? Obviously I love music. And so I, I every day use my Spotify as an oracle. And so I will ask my Spotify, I will go to my liked music, which is all my. My liked songs, and I'll be like, Spotify Gods. Like, please give me the song of the day, how Sahara Rose is meant to show up on this podcast. And I'll press press shuffle and it will give me that song. And I will even ask about situations. I'll be like, please share the dynamic between Sahar Rose and Anastier today. And then I'll press the shuffle and it will give me a song. And when I'm dropped in, it is. It is spot on accurate. I've done it for friends. They're like, what? Like the song name will be like literally their name. Or like exactly what we're doing. And then I also say, if this isn't in alignment, please give me a song. That would make no sense. And so sometimes the song is like. And I'm like, okay, I get it. We're not meant to be fine. And we, we weren't. So that was right. And so, so it's a fun way of just interacting with the world. Like, use everything as your oracle. Use your Spotify as your oracle. Like, pull oracle cards. I have my deck, a yogic path which is all goddesses and chakras. I'll link that below. And everything in life is an oracle. It could literally be like, I'm going To close my eyes and the first thing I see is going to be a sign and see what that sign is. And so when we start to interact with the world and receive messages from the world, things start to speak to us so much more clearly. And I guarantee you, you will one day say, this is the best thing that has ever happened for me. Because you will live a life that is so much more in alignment with who you are today because of this experience. And God knew you wouldn't have left the relationship without this needing to happen. And so it needed to happen. As big as it was, as bad as it was, as traumatic as it was for you to actually make this shift and for you to have the love of your life that can truly meet you. I really believe, believe that we need to go through these initiations of karmic relationships in order to have our karmic relationship. So karmic relationships are the ones that teach us these profound lessons that shift us as people that rock our world. I would say the people that change our lives more than anything are the villains in our story. The person who broke our heart, the person who betrayed us like that is actually the person who changes our life more than anyone else. And so big gratitude to your ex for who you've become and who you're becoming. You really would not have been able to be her without this. You needed this contrast for you to touch places that you would have never touched and give you the discernment, but also open heartedness. And I know there is this morning that can happen of this loss of innocence, of I trusted and I opened my heart to this person and they betrayed me, they abandoned me. And it can feel like I'm never going to be able to trust again because of them. And let me tell you that because of them, you're going to be able to understand what trust really is. Because trust actually comes from the self. Trust does not mean I'm going to trust that you will do everything right. No, we actually can never know that for sure because every single person in our life is going to break our hearts, including the person that you might be with for the rest of your life. Life, in fact, they might break your heart more than anyone you know. And so I can't say I'm going to trust you. And so because I've trust, I've given you my trust, nothing's going to go wrong. It's not that, but rather I trust myself that no matter what happens, I got me. I trust myself that I will listen to my inner voice I trust myself that I can walk away from a situation that no longer serves me. I trust myself that I won't go back, as tempting as it is. And as much as I'm craving that love, that is true trust. And you can only really know that through a breakup or divorce like this, because before that, you don't know. You think trust is something you hand off, and now it's there and you don't have to worry about it. And yes, there is an element of. Of overtime in relationships. You let guards down and, and you trust someone, but ultimately we just don't know anything in this life. And I feel a lot of what these relationships today are showing us is that nothing lasts forever. And as heartbreaking as it is, it's also really exciting because instead of going into a relationship with the fear of what if this doesn't last forever, it's, I am choosing this person right now. If you've gone through a breakup, a heartbreak, a divorce, or another dark night of the soul, I want to tell you congratulations, because the best is yet to come. If I've learned anything about the Sacred Feminine journey is it begins with a rupture. That's when you meet the snake, the shadow, the thing that you didn't want to see, and you start walking the path of the rose, trusting the unfolding of your life, allowing the synchronicities to guide you that take you places that you could have never imagined before. If you're feeling me, you're feeling this message deep in your bones, then I invite you to join the sacred feminine pathway. This is where I guide you step by step in this journey. I share what sacred feminine spirituality is all about and how it's different than the masculine path that we're taught, which is just seated meditations and trying to, you know, persevere and push our bodies through cold plunges and breath work. Whereas the feminine path is all about embodiment, beauty, joy, dance, singing, music, art, creativity. I talk about how to alchemize our daily the dark night of the soul. How to move through those shadows and blossom as an even more embodied and beautiful iteration of ourselves on the other side. Because I know these obstacles are actually quantum leaps into new timelines. Sacred Feminine Pathway is now available for an opening price of just 27. That's right, only 27, which is less than a meal out. You can head over to the Show Notes to get it right away. And I can't wait to invite to you you inside knowing that this might not last forever. I am still choosing that this person is the right person for me to walk with in this stage of my life. And that doesn't mean I'm non committal. You can still commit to even when it's hard. We're going to work through things, but it doesn't mean now it's signed. No matter what. Even if you don't want to be together, you have to stay together. I think we romanticize arranged marriages a lot. You know, people are always like, well, arranged marriages last longer. Yeah, it's because you literally have no choice. Like my grandma was in a fortnight, forced child, arranged marriage with my grandfather. Like that is not what we're trying to go back to. Yes, if someone assigned me to some stranger on the street, I could force myself to be married to them. But that's not what real love is. There is a choice involved in that. There is a choosing in that we want to also feel chosen. I don't want someone to be in a relationship with me because they signed a piece of paper and they have no choice to. And they feel like they, they have to. But there's also a level of work that needs to be done, especially after a couple of years. There is a level of reminding yourself to be attracted to the things that they do. Reminding yourself that you need to prioritize dates and create new novelty. The things that just naturally came at the beginning are things you have to have more intentionality with later on. But as long as you are still choosing to do those things, the relationship can continue to be reborn, reborn, reborn for the rest of your lives. But most people are not cultivating that. Most people are walking away when things get hard. And maybe what you've experienced, a lot of people are hiding. And a lot of people don't bring their full selves into the relationship and hide very important aspects of themselves because if you knew about that part of them, you maybe would not have wanted to be with them. And I see this happen. A lot of that person loved you. They loved you deeply. They cared about you deeply. The love was real. But they knew if they showed this part of themselves, this addiction, they have a pattern of cheating, a deception in, in their lives that you wouldn't have wanted to be with them. And the truth is maybe you wouldn't have. And they wanted to be with you so much that they thought, I'll overcome this. I will hide it from them and somehow heal from it before they find out. And I see this happen again and again and again. And the thing is, especially when you're high Vibration, the truth always comes out. Like, you become a human lie detector. Like, people cannot lie and be in your presence, and then that person just eventually confesses to you. Most of the time, they literally can't be in your auric field without it all coming out. And that can be really heavy too, because now you know the truth, but it can feel like a huge burden. And it takes time to unwind from that and to try to make sense of that. Though you never will fully be able to understand why someone is able to lie the way that they are, because if you were able to fully understand it, you would be capable of it. And there does come a point that you stop trying to understand and you just. Just accept and you let go and you focus on you. But you realize that all I can do in the future is to be so radically myself at the beginning. Like, how can this be the. A mirror to any parts of myself I was hiding? You know, maybe you weren't hiding a big secret or an addiction, but maybe you were hiding the uglier parts of yourself. Maybe you were hiding the more spiritual parts of yourself. Maybe you were hiding the needier parts of yourself because you thought if they knew about these parts of me, they wouldn't want to be with me. And the invitation is. Is to just so radically be yourself from the beginning. I'm not saying tell your whole entire trauma story on date one, maybe date two. No, I'm kidding. But to just be who you are, because ultimately you want someone that's a fuck yes for you, not a fuck yes for a fake version of you that eventually you're gonna have to remove the mask of. And I do believe we have been taught across the board, relationally, that we have to do this dance in this game and this contorting to get the love. And once the person's in love with us, then we can, like Jim Carrey, take the mask off. And the invitation is just to so be ourselves in the singlehood, deepen into ourselves, live the place we want to live, do the things we want to do, be friends with the people we want to be friends with. And that is the version of ourselves that is dating and attracting and magnetizing. So already you're weeding off the people who are not a fit for you. You know, when I first got divorced, and, you know, I'm Middle Eastern, my ex was Middle Eastern, and, you know, I. I want to DJ and I want to dance, and I want to go to the carnival and I want to do these things, but I was like, oh, but they'll think I'm a. You know, in. In Persian and Middle Eastern culture, all those things, you're going to be a. And I would be like, well, I can't do those things. They're going to think I'm a horned. What if I talk about this on my podcast? They're going to listen to the podcast, they're going to judge me, and they're not going to want to be with me. And it's like, like, that kind of man for sure would not want to be with me. Do I want to be with them? And I think we are so used to, like, how do I get them to like me instead of, like, do I like them? Because, yeah, even you just being yourself. Did you know there's billions of people who would not want to be with you? And that's totally fine. Like, you don't need to win the popularity contest. It's not about getting the most number of dates, getting the most number of people that propose to you. Like, I think, think sometimes in the dating world, it's like, I've had seven people propose to me. It's like, first of all, maybe we should ask ourselves, like, why we gave so many people hope that they're gonna marry us. I actually think weed people out sooner than later. Like, let your freak flag fly. Like, if it's not gonna go anywhere, like, forget it. But if you're being yourself and they're being yourself, you do this dance, and even if it doesn't go anywhere, you are being yourself. And maybe that person could even help you be even more of you. And that is that next level dharmic relationship that you became even more of your full expression with this person, that the relationship actually served you. It was a vessel into your expansion. For most of us, it's like I was spiritually growing, like, despite the relationship, despite this thing that was holding me back, taking up my time, giving me stress or even toxic, right? But you no longer mourn the relationship so much when you're like, wow, we grew so much together, we created so much together, we fulfilled so many of our emotional needs and taught each other new love languages that, like, even if the relationship ends, the time was so well spent. And I feel like that is ultimately how we want to be loved, how we want to love. And that can only happen when we stop seeing a relationship as a destination, but rather see relationship ships, like ships. And some ships you might be on for two days, and some ships you might be on for two years, and some ships you might be on for a lifetime. But as long as the ship is. Is taking you both in a direction that is closer to your highest selves. And maybe sometimes this ship is going a little bit one way and sometimes it's another, and sometimes it's. It's never going to be a 50, 50 equal balance, but you are still choosing it. And it's interesting because, you know, I have this friend and they're a couple and I'm equally friends with both the guy and the girl. And at first they started in a non monogamous relationship. They were like, you know, we don't know for each other's people, but we're gonna do this now. She was making more money than him. He was newer to the country, these different things. And they just kept deepening and they kept choosing. So they kept choosing even though it was like technically non monogamous. I don't think either of them had have ever even acted on this. And they've been together for a decade now. I want to say, and it's. And I asked them, so do you guys have a. Because they don't plan to get married. They don't plan to even have kids. I'm like, so do you guys want to be together forever? And it was like, they were like, huh, that's a good question. Do you think we'd be together forever? And they're like, I wonder. And it was like, no. Like, it was like genuinely like, they're like, I really don't know. And it was this really refreshing energy in a relationship I've never seen. Because most relationships, it's like, you know, they're love bombing you on date one. Oh, how many kids do you want to have? My mom's gonna love you. It's like, we've so been taught by the media. It's like, talk about forever. Like, that's a way to like show them you're interested or get them to like you. But I think it's even hotter to be like, I don't know if we're gonna be together forever. I hope we are though, because I'm really freaking enjoying this. And so I'm so excited for this book to be out. I'm in the editing process of it right now and so I hope for it to come out by the end of this year, the beginning of next year. I want this to really just like, come from the heart. It is my most raw and vulnerable book at this point. I'm choosing to self publish it because I don't want it to go through all of the editing that books have to go through. I don't want it to be really changed in my voice. It's. It's literally written like I'm speaking to you. Just because I also feel like with AI and everything, it's so perfect these days that I'm like, no. I want this book to be like, I literally copy paste the poems and the notes, entries I was writing myself in the middle of my divorce that are so, like, raw and like, bleeding on the page. And I just know so many women right now are in it. Which is why I wanted to do this little podcast before. Because there is nothing that rocks your world like it. It. Nothing. And so I so see you wherever you are. And I'm. I'm so excited for this episode and this book to support and if you want to get involved, like, I want to put together a group of readers to. To read the book for the first time to give me any feedback. So how about I'm gonna make a form. I'm gonna make a form and I'm gonna put that in the show notes of this for the. The dream team, the dream girl team who's going to be reading the book first and giving me feedback back. Because I'm really curious how it lands for you, what you want more of what you're curious about and just like, have it be a conversation. So I will have that form the show notes as well. Help me come up with a title. I'm so freaking excited for this. So if you love this episode, please leave a review for it in the podcast store. It really helps get the episode out. And as a free gift, I will send you my womb meditation. So all you got to do is leave a review, take a screenshot of it, and email it over to me at Sahara at I am Sahara Rose dot com. I'll have that email everything else I mentioned in the show notes. Thank you so much for being with me and I can't wait to see you in the next one. Trust your intuition, Trust your inner wisdom. Trust your inner guidance. Close your eyes and listen. So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, Trust your inner guidance.