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Highest Self Podcast®
658: Love, Sex + Doshas - How Your Mind-Body Type Says It All with Sahara Rose
01:06:27
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- [00:00]
Sahara Rose
The feminine path of spirituality is not about saying no to your desires, but going into your desires, enjoying your desires. Even with sexuality, takes a woman's body 40 minutes to get to her actual peak arousal and engorgement. Honestly, like women who don't self pleasure often really, really crave chocolate because it's giving you that feeling of that like oxytocin and connection and love that if you just bring that and doesn't necessarily even need to be sexual, but like touching your body, loving your body, bringing in that eros, that tantra energy, which is sister science of. Of Ayurveda as well.
- [00:34]
Josie
Oh, talk to me first about, you know, when you had an aha moment that made you feel like, okay, I need to start pursuing healing both physically and mentally.
- [00:42]
Sahara Rose
When I discovered Ayurveda, which is the world's oldest health system based on the mind, body, connection, I was like, what is this? It was the first time I felt like, see. Trust flow, surrender, let go Just flow, surrender, let go I'm the one I've been waiting for. Trust flow soon to let go Trust flow soon to let go Trust flow soon to let.
- [01:08]
Josie
I know you obviously do a lot of interviews, but you're mostly recording your own, right?
- [01:11]
Sahara Rose
I've been podcasting for eight years. Oh, you're 100 plus episodes. Yeah, that's why I'm like, whatever.
- [01:16]
Josie
Listen, that was well before other people were doing it. Like, you really started early.
- [01:20]
Sahara Rose
I just was obsessed with spirituality and I wanted a place to talk about it. And my career was more like food and nutrition and Ayurveda. And so I was like, okay, that's what they want for me on Instagram. But, like, I want to talk about past lives and this and that. And so I just started it for me to have a place to talk
- [01:36]
Josie
about those kind of things, which I feel like that's every really successful podcast always starts. Cause it was like there was no place and I wanted to give myself the place.
- [01:44]
Sahara Rose
Yeah. And before we get started with this episode, I saw that over 50% of you guys are not yet subscribed to the podcast, which, don't worry about it. I'm not offended, but I'd love to keep hanging out. I'm having a good time with you, so just subscribe to it wherever you're listening to this on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts. It helps me reach more people, reach you with our upcoming episodes, and get this message out into the world. So be sure to hit subscribe. And now let's get into the episode.
- [02:10]
Josie
Well, Sahara, welcome to the Every Girl podcast. I'm so excited to have you.
- [02:15]
Sahara Rose
Same here.
- [02:15]
Josie
I want to start with kind of more of like your journey, especially with physical health, because I know a lot of your career started in Ayurveda. So talk to me first about, you know, when you had an aha moment that made you feel like, okay, I need to start pursuing healing both physically and mentally.
- [02:32]
Sahara Rose
So, Josie, I don't know if you've ever felt this, and I'm sure a lot of the girlies can relate. Every time I would eat, I was so freaking bloated that I would look pregnant. I would take pictures and be like, no, this is an eight month pregnant person right now.
- [02:43]
Josie
You're like, this is not me.
- [02:44]
Sahara Rose
This is. And it would hurt. It would hurt. I would have to lie down after my meals. And I was eating so clean and I wasn't sure why. Also, simultaneously. So I was on birth control in my early 20s. I got off, but my period never came back. And so it's two years of not getting a period at all. So I had to start going to doctors. And they took like hormone tests. And it's interesting because the way kind of our Dr. Establishment is set up is like a gastroenterologist just talks about your digestion and endocrinologist just about your hormones. And they were all saying, do this, do that. And it was like juxtaposing information. And they told me to get on antidepressants for my gut because they were like, oh, well, your gut makes serotonin. They told me to microwave ice cream and drink it to try to gain weight, which would have given me I'm so diet. These are doctors. Like, no shade, but like, what? And so I was super confused of what to do. And so I just had to get on a journey of self healing. So I just started researching every kind of like natural healing, hormone healing, nutrition. And each thing would give me like one suggestion. But then I see like the opposite somewhere else. And I'm like, I don't know who to trust, who to listen to. And it was finally when I discovered Ayurveda, which is the world's oldest health system and the sister science of yoga. Based on the mind body connection. I took this quiz, a dosha quiz. So the word dosha is like your mind, body type. It was like all of my health things like bloating, gas constipation, dry skin, dry hair, dry nails, but also my personality. It was like anxious, creative, think outside the box, fast mover, fast talker, loves to travel Kind of can be head in the clouds and have a hard time finishing things, like, all in one category. I was like, what is this? It was the first time I felt, like, seen. I just became obsessed with learning everything about Ayurveda. And what was crazy was at that time, I was dating a guy from India. This was in college. And I went to India with him a couple of times. And then when I graduated, I decided to live in India and go to Ayurveda school. So I lived in India for two years, training in Ayurveda healing my body, learning all these, like, ancient wisdoms, but making it more modern because a lot of the Ayurveda things are just super old school, like, lots of ghee, which is clarified butter. And I was. I was vegan at the time. So I was like, how can I take modern nutrition functional medicine with Ayurveda and these age old practices? And I started sharing them. I had a blog at the time called Eat, feel Fresh. I started health coaching people, then Ayurveda coaching people, and then brought my period back, brought my digestion back to balance. And so I decided I would write a book. And so I'm like, I'm gonna write a book about Ayurveda. I have never been an author. I have no idea how it's gonna happen. And that set me on a journey of another two years of writing that first book. But that's when my, like, bigger spiritual journey began of, like, who am I to write a book? I'm not a medical doctor. No one's gonna listen to me. Getting rejected by 30 plus publishers. My parents thinking I'm crazy because at this point, I'm not making any money. Then him and I broke up. And then I had to go back home and live with my parents for a while. And then I was living with my grandma. And it was that moment where I had to trust that my health problems happened to me for a greater reason, so I could help other people. And even though I had no evidence of how, I just knew this wasn't a coincidence. Finally, I wrote that book. But that's how you know, certain things that make no sense in your life are divinely orchestrated.
- [06:09]
Josie
Divinely orchestrated.
- [06:10]
Sahara Rose
But it was because I put in the work before, like, I trusted when there was no feedback. When I think, it's when you can believe. And so what this is, is your Dharma. It's your soul's purpose. And now, looking back, a lot of the reasons why we have these health challenges is because we're spiritually out of alignment with our truth. Because I was, like, looking for other people's approval constantly. You know, such a girl thing like, should I do this or should I do that? We don't even ask ourselves. So true. And so my mind was scattered, my body was scattered, my digestion was scattered, my hormones were scattered. All of this is related to the vata air archetype. So people who are vata are creative free thinkers, but also anxious, have trouble taking action on things. And then their digestion is also going to be, like, erratic, like the wind. So sometimes you can digest things. Great. Sometimes you're constipated and bloated, you know, so there's three different doses, and we can go through them if you want. And from being able to see that, just the connection between my mind and my body, I was able to bring things back into balance holistically. And now to this day, I mean, it's been over 10 years. I've never had those problems again.
- [07:20]
Josie
Wow. And you think the biggest changes, obviously, which we'll get into, all of the changes you made that Ayurveda helped you find of the physical things and diet, but you really feel like the main component was that spirituality piece.
- [07:32]
Sahara Rose
Absolutely. Because, I mean, there's so many incredible stories of people who have gone cancer, people who've gotten all sorts of different kinds of, you know, the word disease. Dis ease. There's a dis ease going on. And so these symptoms are not our body against us, but our body saying, hey, pay attention to me.
- [07:51]
Josie
And I think often people, I think, will get frustrated with that concept. I mean, myself included. I spent so many years of my life feeling mad at my body for symptoms and being like, why can't you just figure it out and be normal and not be in pain and have a normal period and all these things. And I think even that lesson of, like, these symptoms are signs your body's communicating with you that becomes you're going through this for a reason. There is a purpose behind it. Instead of this feeling, like, why me? There's a reason that it's you.
- [08:22]
Sahara Rose
And there's now Harvard study that just came out that your body can listen to you talking to it, and it's actually more effective than medication. Like, last night, I was feeling myself, like, getting a little bit sick. And to my body, I was like, you are safe. I love you. I trust you. Thank you so much. And that literally is now clinically proven to help more than, oh, I'm getting sick. Get the Tylenol, get the this, get to that. Get the. That which actually makes your immune system over time more compromised because you're not teaching your body to overcome things. We're exposed to things all the time. You know, we can't eradicate viruses, right? But we can make our body stronger and more adaptable. So the things that set us off, like a cold sore. 80% of the population has gone a cold sore before. And when it comes is like when you're not sleeping, when you're dehydrated, when you're not doing well. And what most of us do that moment is we freak out. And then it's like our immune system is going to lower even more because of the stress and it's more likely to happen instead to the body, it's like, hey, I'm. I'm listening to you. Do you need more rest? Do you need more water? Tell me what you need. I'm here for you. We could do nothing tomorrow if that's what you want. Like literally talking to your body like an inner child. And then your body's just like, thank you. That's all. I was just trying to get your attention.
- [09:32]
Josie
For people who feel like they don't really have that connection to their body where it feels maybe like performative to be saying kind things. Because I know there's a lot of especially women out there. Is it okay if you don't feel it? But just even saying those things, saying, okay, I'm a little annoyed at you for X, Y, Z, but I will say to you, I love you. We can be relaxed tomorrow. Like even just saying it, even if it feels performative, you feel like, does a lot.
- [09:57]
Sahara Rose
Absolutely. Because at first you've never done it before, right? It's like a new muscle. But as you do it over time, like, I remember the word self love. I had heard the word self love a million times like the rest of us, but it wasn't until I got divorced and I was crying so hard one day and I looked at myself in the mirror and I just saw my vulnerability. Like my inner little girl who was so scared. And I just. Look, I. It was like the first time I actually saw myself and looking at myself in the mirror. No matter what happens, I got you. I am not going anywhere. Like, we are going to get through this. And that was the first time I actually began to understand what self love is. Often those moments where we think we have the least of it are when
- [10:40]
Josie
we cultivate it typically at our lowest point. I feel like every person's aha moment, their big breakthrough happens because they're going through a really painful breakup or they're having really bad health issues. And I think, again, going back to the purpose, the spirituality of it, there's a reason for that. It, like, cracks us open so light shines through to reframe any symptom, any healing, any issue in that way changes not only just your relationship with it, but how you experience it and then how you move on past it.
- [11:09]
Sahara Rose
And that's like everything in life, whatever is the worst thing that's ever happened to you is actually the best, best thing that's ever happened for you. Whether it's your heartbreak, whether it is losing your job, whether it is a friendship breakup. And it hurts so bad, and you can't bypass that hurt. But ultimately, one day you're gonna say, I am this version of myself that I love. And with so heavy because of that thing that happened, not despite of it, but because of it. And then you get to this point, like me with my divorce. I found out my ex husband, we were together for almost eight years, had been cheating on me throughout the relationship. And I had no idea for the whole relationship throughout, like on and off, but with random people.
- [11:51]
Josie
Oh, my. I mean, I can't imagine what that does to your. Like, I always think about cheating is, yes, you lose your trust in that person, but the worst thing is that you lose your trust in yourself.
- [11:59]
Sahara Rose
And that's what was so hard of like, how did I not know? How did I not see this? And you know, when you lose trust in yourself, it's like you become so vulnerable because you can't make decisions anymore. Right. And what I got to learn was you will learn things when you have the strength to take action on it. When you get to a place where you can do something, and I think everyone goes through some kind of big betrayal in your life. And it's the thing that's actually like the catalyst, you know, the hero's journey. It's often that dark night of the soul. Dark night of the soul is like the on your knees moment where shit hits the fan and you have no idea what to do next. And it's like you're living your own living nightmare. And you're like, I did everything right. I thought I was living in alignment, and this thing happened, and I don't know what to do. And that's when you, like, surrender and you start to say, spirit, lead me. Just show me. Show me the path. Show me with synchronicities. Let me meet the right people at the right time. And it's actually when you let go of your own plan and you allow for whatever higher consciousness is coming through to guide you, that you end up in a trajectory of your life that you could have never imagined before. So my first dark night was my health challenge. Then I had the issue with my parents, like, can I actually make money doing what I love? Is this wishful thinking? Should I get a normal job? My parents were immigrants to this country. I owe it to them. But it's also my life. And, like, that was a big, dark night of the soul. And then flash forward, years later, this divorce. And I would say, out of all of the things in my life, I've done lots of going to the gym and eating right and things. It was those things that actually shifted me. It's those things I'm talking about on the podcast right now, you know, and so if you're in it right now, like, this is the shitty part of your memoir you're one day gonna be talking about.
- [13:45]
Josie
Yeah. I interviewed someone once who said that any challenge they had, she was talking about her business, but she was like, I always think of it like, this is our Netflix moment. Like, when we have a documentary on Netflix, there's always that turning point where you get to the low part that is the catalyst for the success or the growth or whatever it is that you eventually have. The dark night is what transforms you when you were going through it and before you hit that point where you were able to surrender. Because I think that's the really hard part is actually, you know, you can logically know, okay, I have to surrender. But then it's a whole other thing to actually be able to do it. So what would you tell that version of you who was going through it and wasn't able to surrender yet?
- [14:27]
Sahara Rose
I first had to realize that I thought I was doing everything right, and here I am in the situation. So obviously, I don't know. And that's hard when you are already a spiritual person. You know, I had already written four books on spirituality hosting you. Like, I was. I thought I was like, in the after. Like, I'm just going to teach people about what happened before. And I'm like. I'm like, I made it finally. It's been a journey. And I was like, another one.
- [14:51]
Josie
You know, you're like, oh, God, again.
- [14:53]
Sahara Rose
You know, they say we have four to five big karmic lessons in each lifetime.
- [14:56]
Josie
No way.
- [14:57]
Sahara Rose
Four to five big ones. So I think I got, like, two more left.
- [15:00]
Josie
Oh, are you like, it's about hit the Fan.
- [15:02]
Sahara Rose
But you know what? What was interesting was this one, the divorce, which was, oh, my gosh, tomorrow will be three years on the day. You're my freedom bursary.
- [15:11]
Josie
Congratulations to that.
- [15:13]
Sahara Rose
Yeah.
- [15:13]
Josie
That's amazing.
- [15:14]
Sahara Rose
And I would say so for this one because I already was spiritual. I already knew these concepts. It was like being awake in a dream. I knew the hard moments are the best thing. I heard all that stuff before, but now here I am. Because it's like something can happen with your health or your parents, and it's like it's out of your control. But the person you chose to do that, you're like, what? It is a whole other level. And I think for women, like, heartbreak becomes our biggest initiator.
- [15:42]
Josie
Oh, my God.
- [15:42]
Sahara Rose
Because love is why the feminine is here. For men, it's often around, like, purpose and legacy. For women, it's a lot love. And so that heartbreak is actually that heart opening for us to actually be the love that we're here to be. So because I, like, mentally knew these things, the surrender, I was just like, it was pretty fast. For me, the alternative is to stay in a marriage where I would have no trust. And I knew that would drive me insane. It would deteriorate. The divorce was going to be freaking hard. I had no idea how I was going to get through it. But to stay in a marriage when every time he would leave the house, I would probably be thinking, where's he going? What's he doing? Like, I don't want to be that person, you know? So it's actually the very next day, I told him, we're getting a divorce. Wow. And then him and I were supposed to go to Egypt together. And I ended up going on my own. And as soon as I landed there, I was like, I'm not going back to the apartment ever. I was like, you can keep all the furniture. I don't even want it. I don't even want a thing from that life. And then, like, the clothes I had, I had an assistant put into a storage. It was in that storage for like two and a half years. And then after, I was like, I don't even want any of this. It was a full death. And, you know, in ancient Egypt, they say it's about if you can die well in this lifetime. You know, the afterlife, the death is not about actually when you die. It's about dying in this life. And we are lucky when we have deaths because it allows it to be the pattern interrupt of what we needed. Like, if you didn't have that huge breakup or friendship crisis or job loss, you would have still had that old life. Something needed to shake it up. So big for you to be in this completely different reality that's so much more in alignment and oftentimes when we don't have the strength to do it ourselves. Source will, you know, I would have never left that marriage. Even though we didn't have a great sexual dynamic, we had definitely grown apart. Like, if I had met him that at that time, at the end, I probably would, you know, but it was a year. We're together for so long. I was with him since I was 24, but there was no part of me that would have ever left, ever. For me, it needed to be something so big that there was no going back. And I think if it was like he cheated on me once at the end, I would have tried. I would have tried to understand, but it had to be, oh, he has been doing this the whole time, since the very beginning. There is no door to go back to. I think that's what God does. Like, it knows. If you're gonna try to go back to that situation, I gotta make it this bad. Your breakdown needs to be at this level for you to make a change. So if you're in it right now, your soul designed this experience in this way for you to say no more and make that change that you're here to make.
- [18:14]
Josie
I know a lot of people needed to hear that.
- [18:17]
Sahara Rose
Do you see yourself one day writing books, giving talks, hosting a podcast, having courses, but the moment a camera gets in front of you and it's time for you to speak, you feel like, oh my God, I have no idea what I'm doing. Even though you enter flow state when you're in a conversation with your friend, well, if this is you, you have wisdom in your heart to share, but it's just feeling like you're still a little bit of an awkward speaker. Girl, I got you. I've created my method speak with Soul that now 3,000 people have gone through into creating social media brands, book deals, speaking on stages, taking their wisdom out into the world in a big way. So this is my step by step 20, one day guided program with everything I know to become an incredible empowered and inspired speaker. Because an inspirational speaker is very different than a motivational speaker. This is not about giving a TED Talk that you're going to memorize and rehearse on stage, but rather about connecting to your channel, your voice within, and delivering it in a way that comes in a state of flow. Because we all know what it's like to listen to someone who's reading off a teleprompter. With all the AI bullshit in the world. We don't need more of that. We need your heart, we need your soul. And so let me help you speak with Soul. So this 21 day course is now available for 50% off. You can find that link in the show notes and I'm so excited to support you in getting your voice brand message out into the world so it can help inspire others. You can find that link in the show notes and let's start speaking with soul.
- [19:50]
Josie
We get a lot of questions of people either saying, I don't know if I should stay or leave the relationship. I don't know what I should do about my health. There's a lot of uncertainty and I wonder what you'd say to that because I think there will be a moment like you had where it's very obvious to you. So it's okay to kind of be in the unknown for a little bit and then something will make it obvious.
- [20:11]
Sahara Rose
Let me tell you a little story about the word should.
- [20:13]
Josie
Oh, well, I know what this is going, I think. Tell me more.
- [20:16]
Sahara Rose
So I was sitting with ayahuasca in Peru a year and a half ago.
- [20:19]
Josie
Great start to a story, by the way.
- [20:22]
Sahara Rose
And medicine to me came as like a big black woman. And she was like freestyle rapping the entire time. And it was like a hip hoppera. Like, I don't know if you remember, it was at this Beyonce movie called, like Carmen the Hip Hoppera.
- [20:34]
Josie
That is such a blast from the back of my brain.
- [20:36]
Sahara Rose
So that's how my ayahuasca appeared to me. Wait, her with this ayahuasca journey, she knows how you would receive the message more. She was just roasting me the entire time that it was so good. And I was laughing but like, damn, you're fucking right. You know, I can give you some of her raps. I remember them. Stop it. Yeah. And so it was like showing me everything, holding me back from true love and girl that she show me. And so let me talk about the word should. So I hate vomiting. I don't know. Some people like it, I guess I hate it. So the ayahuasca was like, girl, we know you hate to vomit, so we'll let you take some shits instead. You're at the other end. Yeah, exactly. Which was great. You know, it's like. And so. But the only time that I would start to feel this dry heaving, like I'm about To vomit was when I would say the word should. Should I this, should I that should, should, should. She was like, do you see what the word should is doing to you? It is making you sick. And it showed me we are making ourselves sick. All that. Should I this, should I that. Who are you asking?
- [21:45]
Josie
Right. Should. I mean, we're still that little child
- [21:49]
Sahara Rose
waiting for the fucking pat on the head. Yes, you're doing it right. No one knows. No one knows. Should you this should do that. I don't know. I've seen relationships work where the girl's 20 years older than the guy and they're in love. I've seen it work the opposite. I've seen it work that they're non binary. I've seen it work that they're masculine, feminine. No one knows. Such a crapshoot.
- [22:08]
Josie
And no one will know.
- [22:09]
Sahara Rose
Yeah. And also, like, what's worked for me is based on my life. And what's worked for you is based on your life. And I could try to share with you what's worked on my life. And like, it's a buffet. Take what serves you and who fucking knows? And it was just really humbling me of all the ways I've given up my power, as if there's a right or wrong. So if you're asking the word should, my suggestion for you, but you don't have to take it. There's no should, there's no right or wrong. And also, let's be real, like, when you're asking that question, like, you know, but it doesn't mean the relationship needs to end, but there needs to be a death and rebirth. Like this relationship needs to end. You may begin a new relationship with that same person. In Lakota, you know, the Native American culture, marriage is a seven year vow. And after seven years, they come together in community, by the way, not just the two of them. And they discuss, do I feel met? Do you feel met? The community says, how do we see you guys evolving and growing with one another? And then they decide, do we want to do another seven years? Imagine how much more intentional our relationships would be. Whereas so many of us are like, okay, we're married now. We're a family. When you marry someone, first of all, you're bringing the energy of the government, right? So there's a different. There's a different energy coming in. So just be aware of that. It also shifts where the marriage is in your chart. It shifts the placement. So there's a dynamic change that happens as well. For some couples, it makes them feel like, more like roommates. For some couples, it's like, oh, my God. This feels like just the most blissful safety. And what marriage means to people is so different in this day and age. It's changing because what our parents saw as marriage is so different than our grandparents. And we're really, like, redefining it today. I think marriage can be such a beautiful thing, but we really need to sit with, what does that mean for me? And we're growing so much today. Like, so much more than ever before. So what does it mean if I'm growing this direction, you're going this other direction. What do we need to keep in order for this relationship to be preserved? Now, I have so many. Like, my best friend's been with her partner for 22 years. Another 15 years. Like, it definitely can happen, but there needs to be, like, agreements between the two of you guys. And I feel also just like, it doesn't mean this needs to work or else our lives are doomed. I feel there's such a spaciousness and openness of, like, we are choosing each other for however long it feels right. And if one day something else feels more right for you, I want that for you. Then there's a freedom and spaciousness that we're like, genuinely. You know, everyone says, choose your partner every day, but are we really right?
- [24:49]
Josie
That's such a good question to ask, because, yeah, it's. We're pushing this idea of choice, which is a great thing, because for a while, it was like, everything's supposed to be good. It's the very, like, leave it to Beaver mindset of, wait, picket fence, everything's fine. So it's great to have that mentality of, like, you're choosing your partner, but it's true of. What does that actually look like? Like, does that mean that if you don't want to choose him anymore, you would be gone tomorrow? For most people, no.
- [25:13]
Sahara Rose
Even a failed marriage, you know?
- [25:16]
Josie
Yeah.
- [25:16]
Sahara Rose
We think just because the marriage doesn't last forever, it's absolutely not like you got the experience of being in love. And that is such a gift. When we die, what we're gonna remember is how much we loved. It's never a mistake.
- [25:29]
Josie
And it's such a good mindset to go into any relationship with that intentionality of, like, I don't expect the same relationship or the same version of you that I met or that I had last year that I had last week, because we wouldn't want them to expect that from us. We want that growth. I've been with my fiance for nine years. And so I've always said, like, we've had 10 relationships in one. It has not been the same relationship. It's been at least 10, if not more. And I hope as long as, hopefully forever, we will have so many different relationships. Like, I think that that's like the beauty of finding someone again doesn't have to be forever, but for a certain time that they support your growth and can like grow in tandem to you without it feeling like I have to stay the same or our relationship has to stay the same. Other cultures are really aware of that and that in the US we're really not. It's a very like till death do us part. We're in it no matter what. Honor your vows and there's shame when you choose not to. I want to go back to like the physical health stuff. I actually did my thesis on Ayurveda. I'm such a geek for it. But I. We really have not talked a ton on the podcast about it. So for people who are like completely new, explain like what it is, their doshas, how to find their doshas.
- [26:48]
Sahara Rose
So the premise of Ayurveda is a diet, an exercise, even a type of yoga or meditation for one person may not be the best for another. So it's really around knowing yourself and also knowing your shifts. So we have three doshas, three energy types called vata, which is air, pitta which is fire, and kapha, which is earth. I have a quiz on my website, a free quiz. I can send it to you guys. I've actually uniquely separated the doshas in the mind and body because there's just so much imbalance in our society today that I find most of us have vata in the mind. Anxiety because of technology, fast moving thoughts, we're moving at the speed of light. So we all kind of have this vata air imbalance in the mind. But then a lot of us have kapha in the body. We're sitting a lot, we're not walking, we're not farming like we used to. You know, ayurveda is a 5000 year old plus system. So the best place to start is a dosha quiz because then you're going to be able to see your viktruti, which is your constitution today. And that's what we're going to be treating. We're going to be looking at what dosha, what energy is too high, that's pulling everything else out of balance. So like we talked about with vata, the air energy, if it's mental you're going to have anxiety, restless thoughts, insomnia. If it's in the body, bloating, gas, constipation, dry skin, dry hair, dry nails, amenorrhea. In the pitta energy, the fire energy in the mind is going to be. When it's out of balance, you kind of get irritated really easily. You get annoyed, you're a little hot headed. So people who just kind of snap and then in the body, too much heat is going to be acid reflux, heat rises. So acne, any kind of acne, rashes, rosacea, hives, that's all a pitta fire imbalance. Then kapha, the earth energy. When it's too much in the mind, you can be stuck in the past really like longing, procrastinating, a bit depressed, sluggish. And then in the body it's that same heavy energy where it's like, oh, you really can't think about moving. A lot of us in wintertime because kapha is naturally the highest in winter. It's cold and damp, Especially in Boston. I know you're from Chicago is like, there's no way I'm going to the gym. You know, that is all kapha. That's so kapha. But that's when we need it the most. So people who are naturally more kapha so will have more of that sluggish happiness, weight gain, Weight gain is kapha, phlegm, mucus, lymphatic issues. So we each have a combination of all three doses that we're born with a primary, secondary. Thirdly, some of us are like two are really close ones least some of us are like 20% of people have like all three equal. But most of us. So I would say in your community, which is going to be similar to my community, it's like health conscious, young millennial woman tends to be vata and kapha. So we are obviously we're creative people, we are open minded, we're spiritual, we're interested in like yoga, travel, things like that. So that's going to be that vata mental energy. We grew up in the diet culture of like green juice, green smoothies, granola bars, protein bars, like everything cold and dry, which is going to increase your vata. So that's why we have like everyone's bloated, you know, and, and that's such a big part of it. We also grew up and I think we're kind of phasing out of that, but like vegan, raw vegan, spinning lots of cardio. We looked up to Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's bodies and Nicole Richie and like the anorexia generation, that's all vata. We pedestaled vata. And so a lot of us are dealing with those imbalances now. But then not so much in this community. But I would say, like globally there's a lot of kapha imbalance. So I mean, obesity is such a huge issue. Just like weight gain, sedentary, and then a lot of people who hate their lives, but they're not willing to change it. That's kapha energy now, pitta energy. I do see a lot with entrepreneurs, because to be an entrepreneur, you need to be very goal oriented and ambitious. And I see a lot with men, more like most men that I know will have pitta.
- [30:49]
Josie
Interesting.
- [30:50]
Sahara Rose
You can actually tell like what dosha someone's prominent in through their body and through their face. So this will be what they were born with. So someone that has a more vata face will have like a long face, gaunt, kind of like high cheekbones. And their body, they tend to be more thin. So think like Keira Knightley, Steve Jobs, I don't know, Ashton Kutcher. Like, that body type is very vata. Doesn't mean everyone, but the people who are born very vata. So you see, like a lot of artists have that body type. You can see the vata is what's making them creative. But they tend to struggle with anxiety, social anxiety as well. That's why a lot of artists kind of like stay hidden on the sides. That's vata. If you look at athletes, pitta, Pitta central, right there, strong jawline, super muscular. Like if you look at Madonna, you know, such pitta fiery energy right there. All these athletes, Gary V. These like really like ambitious personalities. Is that Pitta and Tony Robbins, super pitta. Then when you look at kapha, you think of like Oprah. Energy is very kapha. It's like warm, it's hospitable, it's nurturing, it's motherly. And they tend to have rounder faces, baby faces, big eyes, soft features. And they tend to gain weight more easily. So you might be a combination. I have a kapha face, so you can see I have like a round face, softer features, but I have more of a vata body. Another way you can tell is if you put your finger around your wrist, if you have a lot of space. So I have a vata body. You can see there's a lot of space. I have very small wrists. That's more of a vata skeletal structure. If it's kind of like there's a little bit of space, but it's equal. That's pitta. And for some people it's like barely their fingers can touch. That's kapha. You can tell from the width of someone's hips. If someone has more narrow hips, it's more vata median hips, pitta wide hips is kapha. So like a Marilyn Monroe, a Kim Kardashian, it's a very kapha body. So kapha is sexy. When you bring kapha into bat, everyone's like, I don't want to be Kofa, I don't want to be the fat one. It's like, no. When you bring that into balance, it's like womanly, it's nurturing, it's. We call it ojas life force. But our society so pedestals the vata that we're afraid of the kapha. Whereas in India they say, oh, you always want to marry a kapha woman, you know, because she's like so feminine, you know, in that way.
- [33:09]
Josie
I'm so kapha. So I'm happy to hear that.
- [33:12]
Sahara Rose
Oh my gosh, Love that you got that drip. Tell my fiance that.
- [33:18]
Josie
That is really fascinating though, that you can see it. And it's also interesting to hear how modern culture affects that too. So that obviously you can be born with that, but that can change.
- [33:29]
Sahara Rose
Absolutely. So you have your productivity, which is your natural born constitution. Then through life, through the foods you eat, where you live, experiences, you have imbalances and that's your vikruti, today's dosha constitution. And so really it's about going back to who you naturally are. So for example, when I was really building my business, I wanted to be more pitta. I hate spicy foods, but I would try to drink like this hot ginger drink and go to the gym and listen to Big Sean. And I was like, listen to Gary V. Yeah, very pitta. I was like trying to make myself become a. I was like, I want to be one of those boss babe people who gets shit done. And then I broke out into hives one day, like my body was like, bitch, relax. And then I was able to expand my pitta and play in it more. But it doesn't feel like who I really am. It feels like I can work with that energy. And we ideally want to be able to work with all three. But my highest self, for me especially mentally, more of my vata self.
- [34:29]
Josie
And you've been able to identify that based on knowing your constitution, which you have the quiz that people can figure it out, but also Just by knowing, oh, I feel really good doing these certain activities, being in this energy, knowing my dharma.
- [34:41]
Sahara Rose
And that's really what it's about. Your dharma is your soul's purpose. So your doshas are to support your dharma. You are made to be really good at what you're here to do. What comes naturally to you is what you're here to do all the time. So for you, Kapha, you are great at connecting with people. You're great at listening. You're great at having conversations. You're great at holding space. You're in your heart. You're friendly, hospitable, warm, sweet. That's why you're doing this podcast. It does make so much sense.
- [35:08]
Josie
Yeah, it's crazy.
- [35:09]
Sahara Rose
And you could do a podcast as a pitta. It would just be a very. We've all listened to this podcast. It's like they got their questions like, okay, next, next, next. And that's the vibe of those kinds of podcasts. Then you've got vata ones which are like, mine. I'm like, I'm channeling from someone else. And. And that's the. My gift, you know? And so that was the. That was like the cincher for me of like, oh, this isn't something I have to fix and heal necessarily. Yes, my digestive issues. But doesn't mean I've gotta change my personality to become a pitta, because the society loves the pittas. My dharma is me being me. I also have a quiz people can take. We can link dharmaarchetypequiz.com that leads into what archetype you are in your purpose. Are you the artist, the visionary, the teacher, the nurturer? And then I relate them to the
- [35:51]
Josie
doshas, and obviously, I bet those archetypes show up in so many different ways. Like, could you be in a variety of industries, but obviously apply differently? Like, what would be an example? If someone is, you know, working corporate America, how do they apply? Knowing what their archetype is and knowing their dosha into their life?
- [36:10]
Sahara Rose
Absolutely. So let's say you have a corporate job. Someone who's more visionary is probably going to be like, in hr, they're like, leading people. They've got the visions, they're leading the groups. They're here to inspire people. Someone who's a nurturer could also be an hr, but it's probably like more working one on one with people. Someone who's an artist is going to be, like, doing graphic design, doing the events, doing things that are related to beauty and style and creative they could be doing video editing. So many things. Someone who is an entrepreneur is probably going to be more on the business side of things. Someone who's a warrior is probably going to be a strong team leader to rally people towards goals. Maybe they're an operator. Someone who is an activist might be related to what's our mission? How are we of service? Someone who is a researcher is probably going to be in the facts, the data. They might be in, in the sciences and in health. Someone who is an entertainer is probably like the personality hire who is like, bringing joy and telling stories and super charismatic. They might be the boss. So it's like these archetypes are in everything we do.
- [37:14]
Josie
I'm sure even people hearing you explain probably have a little thought in their head of, oh, that's so me. But if you take the quiz, if you intuitively know, is it just then realizing, okay, this is my dharma, so then that means however that can look in my career, in my relationships, I lean in and do more of that.
- [37:33]
Sahara Rose
Exactly. Because when you are being yourself, you are tapped into endless energy. So things that for other people feel exhausting. I'm sure for you, someone might say, how do you do so many podcasts one day? But it feels like easy for you. Whereas if we had to go sit and do some spreadsheets together, I think we would both really suck at it and burn out within one minute. But people who are the researcher and good at that, they could do it all day. Being on a podcast is hell for them.
- [37:58]
Josie
Yeah.
- [37:59]
Sahara Rose
So we're all here to be ourselves.
- [38:00]
Josie
I think a lot of times people feel like something's wrong with me because I'm not really good at this thing. When you're just surrounded by people in a different archetype, this is validating for so many reasons. Not only just to flow, find your purpose, and validate this is what you're supposed to do, but also it's okay that you're different from other people. It doesn't mean that you're bad at this or this is wrong. It just is not a fit for you. It just isn't your dharma. Your dharma is elsewhere.
- [38:27]
Sahara Rose
Exactly. Yeah. To not compare ourselves. And we need that juxtaposition. Like, even in partnership, there are some great. Like, two artists together can be beautiful, but it can also be very chaotic.
- [38:36]
Josie
You know, we've all seen that relationship.
- [38:38]
Sahara Rose
Exactly.
- [38:39]
Josie
Yes. So what about if people are dealing with inability to lo lose weight or bloat gut health issues, hormone issues. What does Ayurveda say? How do we Apply this to that. What would they do?
- [38:50]
Sahara Rose
So specifically, look at what dosha it's related to. So I have a book, Idiot's Guide to Ayurveda, that has like every single symptom and you can find it. So let's say your issue because like below, like digestive issues with vata is like gas bloating. So it's like cold and dry qualities. So they need to balance their vata. Whereas for kaphas, it's like a heaviness feeling. Kaphas tend to like not really be hungry throughout the day and then have one meal and then be so full the whole next day. So it's a different kind. Pittas don't really get bloated. They are like always hungry and they're always. I'm just like, what? They like wake up and they eat like 20 eggs. I'm like, huh? And they're like, everyone should do this. It's like, no, you just have an insane digestive system.
- [39:33]
Josie
And I'm glad you actually touched on that because I think that to me is the biggest problem in our. Not the biggest, because there's a lot of problems, but one of the biggest problems in our wellness culture is this idea of everyone's got to try this thing. Oh my God. I found the best routine. This workout routine is going to heal your life. This supplement is going to be great. And it's. I mean, there's Ayurveda to prove it. There's conventional studies to prove how every body is so different. Like bio individuality shows that we are not going to be the same. So I'm so glad that you touched on that because I think that's such a big problem of people saying, here, try this thing. It's going to change your life. And then we all spend all this time and energy and money and feel like, what's wrong with us? Because this isn't working when it worked for them. When in reality our body is different.
- [40:16]
Sahara Rose
Yeah. And what worked for you at one point of your life might not work for you at another point. You know, when we are younger, we're more in our kapha years. Middle age, we're more in our pitta years, older years, we're more in our vata years. It changes with the seasons. Fall is vata time, winter kapha time, summer, pitta time changes throughout the time of day. In the morning, 6 to 10am, Kapha is the highest. So don't have a huge, huge meal according to Ayurveda because you're just waking up Our digestion. We call it a fire. So mountain I had a campfire and we were like singing around the campfire. At night we go to sleep and the next day there's like barely any embers of the fire. I put a ice cold green smoothie on it. The fire is going to go out or I put a bunch of eggs and bake it on it. The fire can't burn that yet. So instead we need to gently build the heat in that fire. That's why Ayurveda says have something like warm like when I make mine more modern like a quinoa porridge or stewed apples or Some people can do eggs and, and they are great. Some people just a tonic is enough for them. And then once you actually start to feel that hunger which between 10am to 2pm sun is highest in the sky. Pitta time. That's the time your digestive system is the most fiery and strong. That's the time to have your biggest meal. And then 2pm to 6pm is Vata time. That's the time to get your creative things done. 6pm to 10pm again go back into kapha time. Sun is setting, we're preparing to sleep, have a lighter dinner. 10pm to 2am Pitta time. The best time to be asleep. If you can sleep before 10, you'll have the most healing quality of sleep. People think sleep is about number of hours. No, it's about the the time. Because in Ayurveda they say the sun when it's on the earth, it's like creating all this like solar energy here. And then if you're able to sleep and that solar energy is still on earth, it's more nourishing sleep. And science has found that when you sleep before midnight, those two hours are the most nurturing for your REM cycles versus if I, I could sleep 12 hours. But like starting 6am it's just not going to be the same because my circadian rhythm is off. And that's what we did back in the day before we had all this blue light, we were sleeping. And it's funny because every time I travel I'm like wait, I'm not a night owl. It's just I'm wired because of my phone. So if you can get sleep that pitta hours that's gonna be the most rejuvenating. 2am to 6am again is Vata time. Veils are the thinnest. That's why in Kundalini Yoga or in Tibetan culture they're doing all their prayers and Stuff like four in the morning, because that's the most auspicious time when the world's asleep and you can really connect. You don't need to, I don't do that. But like call to prayers throughout the world, that has been the time. So there's something universal to that. We all are also going through the circadian. We also have our menstrual cycle. So there are so many different things. And it's not to overwhelm you, but it's actually just giving language back to what you intuitively already felt about yourself. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. So some of us feel our very best in the summer. We are out and about feeling amazing. But for other people, summer can actually be overwhelming. Juggling at all kids are home. Just sometimes less time for ourselves when we're out of our normal routine. I know for myself, I love to travel a lot in the summer, but it can feel unstabilizing. I'm not in my home. Things go wrong with different Airbnbs and I often have existential crisis in between travel locations. I don't know if this happens to anyone else even. And sometimes it just brings up a lot, especially being on planes, like long plane rides. And so sometimes I just need to talk it out, see what's alive for me. And this is why I love therapy. So if you've not heard of BetterHelp, they are the world's largest online therapy platform. They serve over 6 million people annually. And the best thing is you just take a quiz, they match you up with a licensed therapist. You can switch them at any time and you can even chat with them, like texting them in between calls, which is super, super helpful. So you don't have to say yes to everything. This summer, find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off@betterhelp.com Sahara that's BetterHelp. H E L P.com Sahara you can find that link in the show notes.
- [44:36]
Josie
I love that reframe of. It's giving language to what I really do believe. Everyone listening. Even if you're listening and you're thinking, I have no idea what you're talking about, I think a lot of it is noise that kind of forces us not to connect with ourselves and forces us to look elsewhere. You know, there's all this advice, especially for wellness, for your body, for your health. And I think a lot of us, especially women, have this intuition more than we realize. We're just so disconnected from it. And to me, what I loved about Ayurveda by the way, you were, like, the first person, obviously, that I remember talking about Ayurveda in any, like, mainstream way, like, with bloggers that I liked. But to me, I loved Ayurveda because it feels so intuitive. So much of what I learned, I was like, oh, I understand that it's such a weird thing to explain, but it's like, I feel like I would do that if the rest of the world didn't have all these crazy opinions thrown at me. And I think a lot of people might find that, too, because it's how
- [45:33]
Sahara Rose
our ancestors have always done things. Like, Ayurveda is one language, but it's actually all the same. All ancient wisdom is saying, follow the cycles, follow the elements, follow the seasons. Listen to your body slow down. Follow the circadian cycle, follow your lunar cycle. And we've just lost track because we're like, well, this person said this or my fitness pal said that. And I'm not saying anything's wrong. Like, we can all learn from each other. But I know if I ate 20 raw eggs first thing in the morning, I would freaking die. You know? Like, it just wouldn't work for me, you know, but for someone else who has so much pitta in them, like, that might be their path. So I do think there is, like, a trial and error that does need to happen. And also building your intuition, because when we are able to tune into our own body, like, I love fasting, for me, that works because when I eat, I can feel really grounded, which is good. But because I'm working in higher dimensions all the time, when I fast, I'm able to tap into realms that I normally wouldn't. So for me, as like, my Dharma is to be more in that vata spiritual realm. So I am allowing my vata to continue in that way. Whereas someone who's like a mom and they need to make sure their kids are okay, they probably want to have lots of warm grounding foods and, like, really be here, because they need to be because of their responsibilities.
- [46:54]
Josie
So it also depends on not only just what your body constitution is, but also what you need during your day, what you want. And that's all in the quiz. People can find that online. Like, for people who are like, okay, this sounds amazing. Where the hell do I start? It's really on the quiz. And then there's all these resources. Yeah.
- [47:11]
Sahara Rose
There's a free cheat sheet for each dosha. And then I've, like, broken down what it means in each part of your body.
- [47:17]
Josie
Okay. Which is so helpful to have because it's hard to have a conversation and give people exactly, you know, here's the blueprint. Do this on a 60 minute podcast because it's so individual and I highly recommend people go check it out because it will change your life to know this about yourself.
- [47:31]
Sahara Rose
Absolutely. And then, yeah, I have Idiot's Guide to Ayurveda, which is the book that's like overall Ayurveda. And then Eat Feel Fresh, which is my cookbook, 100 plus plant based Ayurveda inspired recipes. And then discover your dharma, which is now how to take those doshas into your life.
- [47:46]
Josie
So for people who are really interested in this, but they're totally new, they're maybe a little overwhelmed, even about like they're trying to heal their bodies. You know, they have symptoms, they have issues. Coming up, what are like three little changes that you could give them to start tomorrow that can be more in line with their doshas and with Ayurveda.
- [48:04]
Sahara Rose
So three changes that you can make instantly to start feeling better according to Ayurveda are to not have anything. Iced ice.
- [48:12]
Josie
Okay.
- [48:13]
Sahara Rose
Drinks, ice smoothies, Smoothies with frozen fruit. I'm sorry, I know they're tasty. But imagine your digestion is that fire and we put ice on it. What's going to happen? That fire, it's going to require so much energy expenditure for your body to just heat up that thing that it's taking away from energy for your body to heal, to digest, to work on your skin, all those things. And sometimes I'll still slip up and have a smoothie, I'm not gonna lie. But then I'm freezing after for like over an hour. So true.
- [48:43]
Josie
It like chills you to your bones.
- [48:44]
Sahara Rose
To your bones. And then I'm like, uncomfortable. Then I'm like, I feel like I need chocolate. Like, I'm like looking for warming.
- [48:49]
Josie
That's so actually true. Now that I think about. I do crave chocolate. I feel like after I have something cold.
- [48:53]
Sahara Rose
Absolutely. So even if you want to have a smoothie, can you use refrigerated strawberries instead of frozen? Frozen strawberries. Can you have warm coffee or room temperature instead of iced coffee ice? Like, I know it can be very cooling and refreshing. And when your digestion is great and you can handle it, go for it. It's not good for you, but if you can handle it, fine. But if you're having digestive issues, I guarantee you if you stop having the frozen things, you're going to feel a lot better. So that's my first One for everyone. The second one I'm going to say is tongue scraping. So tongue scraping is an ancient Ayurvedic practice of scraping your tongue which removes the amma, the toxins that are coating your tongue. Now, when amma is coating your tongue, the sensors on your tongue can't understand what you're eating. And so they can't create the right digestive environment that they need to break down the food. It's like there's like a condom on your tongue, you know, and so you need to scrape your tongue for your tongue, Tongue receptors to be able to actually, okay, we need this much protein, we need this much amylase, we need this kind of digestive enzymes to break down what you're eating. Third thing, just eat slower. Chew your food, Prepare your body. Sit. Hey, body, we're eating right now and we all do it. Eating while driving, eating when walking. It's just like you're having a conversation and then all of a sudden you're eating. Your body's like, where the hell that come from? It's like, give your body some foreplay. Let your body know.
- [50:24]
Josie
Genius way to explain that I ever heard.
- [50:26]
Sahara Rose
It's so imagine someone stuck something in. It's like, I thought we were having a conversation here, you know?
- [50:31]
Josie
Yeah, your body needs to understand. Oh, I guess we're eating now.
- [50:34]
Sahara Rose
Exactly. Like, can I go on a date with you, please? Literally buy me dinner first. Exactly. Please don't just send me a pic unsolicited, like, God, that is genius. So what is four? It's never come out like that before, girl, but I'm just working through a lot of my life.
- [50:50]
Josie
Okay, that's genius. What does foreplay look like for getting your digestive system ready to eat?
- [50:57]
Sahara Rose
Sitting, taking a couple breaths. Literally just shifting three breaths will just take you from this. Like parasympathetic, like ping pong with the world to like. Noticing your food. What am I eating right now? Can I look at my food? What colors do I see? I know I'm so hungry, but if I take this giant fork and scarf it in my mouth, I'm not even enjoying the very thing. Like, we go out of our way to eat this food that we love so much. Like, I don't give a crap about the calories. I want to eat that thing. But we're not even present with it. So just be present with it. Chew it, taste it, let it swish around your mouth like a fine wine swallow. Make sure there's nothing in your mouth before taking another bite.
- [51:44]
Josie
That's a hard one.
- [51:45]
Sahara Rose
It's a hard one because in America we literally. Sometimes I do like, I squeeze scarf things down and I'm just like, I didn't even enjoy it. And now I want a dessert.
- [51:52]
Josie
Yeah. Because you're not satisfied because you didn't even notice. You weren't even mindful during it. It's.
- [51:57]
Sahara Rose
And then we do the same thing with the dessert and then we need like three of them because it takes the third cookie to be mindful of it.
- [52:02]
Josie
Yeah. And there's like biological reasons for this, but it's also so spiritual and emotional. There's many, many reasons for cravings. But I have found most often cravings are because you didn't have enough joy. It's like a joy deficiency. So you have to have the pleasure, experience pleasure from your food and you won't need as much food. You won't be going back to the cupboard to get more cookies and stuff because it's about the pleasure that you're able to get.
- [52:28]
Sahara Rose
And that's a very ayurvedic thing. What you are craving speaks about what you're spiritually missing in your life.
- [52:33]
Josie
Are there like certain things? Like if it's your craving sugar, then you're.
- [52:36]
Sahara Rose
Yeah, if you're craving sugar and sweets, you're craving more comfort, safety and love.
- [52:41]
Josie
What about salty, snacky adventure?
- [52:44]
Sahara Rose
Oh, and spice. You want to challenge. This is crazy because think about it. Spice, like something really spicy. It's not even a flavor, it's a sensation. It's a sensation of pain. So often when you're not challenged enough in your life, you're like looking for a challenge somewhere and like overcoming the spicy thing becomes a challenge for you. But you're. It's actually quite kind of sadistic because you're putting your body through pain. So you need to go through a rite of passage. You need to go through an initiation. Like there's something you want to overcome. So channel it in a different way. I remember I would eat so much chocolate. I was addicted to chocolate. As soon as my meal was done, I was just like. All I could think about was, I need my chocolate. If I would travel, half my bag were chocolates. And it was at a time I was super thin, but because I was like not enjoying my meals, I wasn't nourished from within. It was like the chocolate was the one place I felt, felt richness, like something that was just for me, but also was these like sugar free chocolates. So I wasn't really fully even getting it. So it Was like my body was looking for that, that sugar, that sweetness, but it wasn't there. So I needed more and more and more. And that's the thing with a lot of these like fake sugar things. And now I don't eat chocolate at all. If I do, I'll eat like cacao nibs or something, but I don't even crave it because, well, I'm in a juicier place in my life. I, I self pleasure a lot more.
- [54:15]
Josie
That'll get the job done.
- [54:16]
Sahara Rose
Honestly, like women who don't self pleasure often really, really crave chocolate because it's giving you that feeling of that like oxytocin and connection and love that if you just bring that and doesn't necessarily even need to be sexual, but like touching your body, loving your body, bringing in that euros, that tantra energy, which is a sister science of, of Ayurveda as well, you're not going to crave that chocolate as much. So if you are a girl that's like, give me all the desserts, give me all the sweets. It's like just touch your titties. That is the best advice anyone has ever shared.
- [54:49]
Josie
You crave chocolate, touch your titties.
- [54:51]
Sahara Rose
That's it. I obsessed with that. It makes. So this is my version of Ayurveda, y'.
- [54:56]
Josie
All. And microphone that one. Thank you.
- [54:59]
Sahara Rose
Because I love to infuse it with tantra because tantra for me was also like, you know, first it was the health, then it was like the career and now for me it's like the love and the sensuality and the pleasure, which is the sacred feminine path. And what I've really learned is spirituality for women is very different than spirituality for men. For men, spirituality is about can you meditate, can you overcome your desires, can you do the cold plunge, can you do. No, overcome hard things. Men need that. That's why men love spicy food.
- [55:26]
Josie
Whoa. That's why every man of our men gets to drown hot sauce on all their.
- [55:30]
Sahara Rose
They need challenges. Men are meant to be warriors. They're not fighting, they're just sending fire motic on Instagram stories and they're gaming and go do something. Win a war. Build me the Tundra Hall.
- [55:41]
Josie
Build me a home. Or go fight for me.
- [55:43]
Sahara Rose
Exactly. Hunt something and make us a meal. If you really want shooting on a video game, please. So make yourself useful. Exactly. Turn off. So men need that. And men are most of the people giving the spiritual advice, dating advice for them, you know, and even a lot of Ayurveda, what we Know of now. And that's been a lot of my pathway is like, what's the feminine approach to that? Because of the patriarchy, all of these systems have been channeled at the end. They've been taken on a male dominant perspective. So for the feminine, I do believe our juiciness, our pleasure, like the feminine path of spirituality, is not about saying no to your desires, but going into your desires, enjoying your desires, even with sexuality, takes a woman's body 40 minutes to get to her actual peak arousal and engorgement. When is the last time you've spent 40 minutes with your own body before any kind of penetration? Or someone spent 40 minutes on yours? For most women, that's never happened. The average length of sex in America is four minutes.
- [56:46]
Josie
That is the average. If there is no other fact that proves that we are still in a patriarchy.
- [56:51]
Sahara Rose
Yeah, that's it exactly. And then women are wondering, why can I not have orgasms during sex?
- [56:57]
Josie
And then they feel bad about themselves. So bad. And then they perform.
- [56:59]
Sahara Rose
And then it's like, then they. The vibrator addiction, which, you know, that's something Tantra is really against her vibrators. And people are like, no, but it's. But it's practicing again. That male consciousness come fast. It's like, let's slow everything down. You know, let's make it a ceremony to touch every part of my body. What does it feel like inside my wrist? What does it feel like in my elbows? What does it feel like in my inner th eyes? What does it actually feel like to get to peak level of engorgement for the feminine? And then like, the tiniest little thing feels so orgasmic. And when you are radiating that energy, you don't need cinnabons, you don't need a booty call. You don't need anything. Like you are being the goddess. You are being the dakini. Also. Arts, music, dance, singing, these have always been part of the feminine pathway. It's not just about meditating, but for us, when we sing, laugh, when we craft, when we create, that's how we access source.
- [58:02]
Josie
Okay, see, I think you're blowing a lot of people's minds, as I know you do. This is your darkness to blow people's minds. Because it's so opposite what most women have been taught and really programmed. It's like pleasure in every sense is supposed to be really bad. Most of us grew up thinking especially like, female sexuality is really scary. No, no, don't go there. Pleasure is bad. Don't feel pleasure. You're supposed to have sex once you're married in order to have babies or even pleasure with food. You know, we're taught if you're enjoying your food, it's not good. You should have a bland chicken and veggies, and that's how you lose weight, and that's what's good. You shouldn't enjoy your movement because it's supposed to be a really tough hit class that you're sweating through and that you hate. No pain, no gain. Like, we are so deprogrammed out of pleasure. And I'm sure that there's a lot of both mental physical symptoms that are coming up in response to that.
- [58:53]
Sahara Rose
Absolutely. Because it's the patriarchy and it's in everything. And so it is time for us to like, really look at things and from a more feminine approach of like, life is long, it has seasons and chapters, and it's okay. Like, it's okay. If right now the thought of not having sugar feels insane, then keep having it. Be mindful of it. Be mindful how you feel after it. Just like everything has a life cycle. When I eat something sugary, yes, it tastes good. During. How do I feel after? Oh, I feel really dehydrated. I feel kind of like a crash. I feel all this guilt. Okay, if I look at the full picture, was it really worth it? And I start to look at it that way, you know, okay, I ate a bunch of french fries. Was that really worth the whole experience? Like alcohol. The same thing I would think of the next day. I'm just like, I don't want to go to the gym. I'm so freaking dehydrated. It's just not worth it for me. And so when I started to look at everything I would put into my body as like the full life cycle, then naturally I didn't want to do
- [59:55]
Josie
those things anymore, which is still leaning into pleasure. You know, I think we're so used to thinking, okay, it's either you choose the Mac and cheese or the alcohol. Like, that's the easy, pleasurable option, or you choose the really hard option that isn't pleasurable. But really when you think about it, the life cycle that's actually not pleasurable. You feel like after it, it affects your energy, it affects your body. Like the more pleasurable option a lot of the times is for that long term pleasure instead of the short term reward. Like dopamine hit.
- [60:23]
Sahara Rose
Exactly. Because our society is like, okay, screw it, eat whatever you want. Eat McDonald's, have a bunch of pizzas, like, whatever. Sure, Maybe that could be a. I know it's part of the body positivity movement, but is it actually making you feel better in your body? Yeah, you know, just it's kind of like a fuckboy, you know, it's like it feels good in the moment. How do you feel the next day right when he doesn't text you back? How do you feel after when you have a yeast infection? How do you feel? Like I'm being really like, is it worth it? Whereas when you have like a lover, the next day you feel better. You have a pep in your step. You're feeling like oozing with love. So it's like just like the life cycle in friendships, in relationships, in food. Look at the full journey of things.
- [61:06]
Josie
To me it's all about redefining the pleasure. Because I think a lot of people would think, you know, not going with the fuck boy even though they want to, or not eating McDonald's or that is like restriction. And they look at it that way of like, I have to choose the hard thing and restrict. And I think the biggest difference for me is reframing that as that's the pleasure, that's the long term joy that's going to be more pleasurable to you. So it's just redefining what we look at as pleasure and letting that be our guide.
- [61:35]
Sahara Rose
And even with, with sexuality, it's like redefining pleasure in that of like peak orgasm as fast as possible versus enjoying the full journey and letting it extend, which is how we're actually meant to relate. And there's so much more pleasure available for us than we've ever experienced.
- [61:51]
Josie
Oh my God, I need a part
- [61:52]
Sahara Rose
two so we can get part two.
- [61:55]
Josie
But I could go on forever. We're like so out of time. I, I okay, I have so many follow up questions for you, so we'll have to do part two, but we're gonna wrap up with some rapid fire questions. This is gonna come out in January in the new year. So what is your manifestation ritual going into new year to make sure that this year is gonna be amazing for you?
- [62:13]
Sahara Rose
Well, my birthday is January 14th, so that's exciting. Thank you. I've always been someone with like a plan and a goal and a big part of my unique gene key is to drop expectations and just be with the process. So obviously my goal was like be in a relationship by this and someone I could bring to my brother's wedding and this. And now I'm just like, I'm in a lovership situation right now and he's such a beautiful person. And I'm just like. And we'll see. And enjoying the process.
- [62:44]
Josie
I like. And we'll see. Yeah, like that's such a powerful phrase.
- [62:47]
Sahara Rose
And we'll see and it's okay.
- [62:49]
Josie
And enjoy it.
- [62:50]
Sahara Rose
Exactly.
- [62:51]
Josie
A ritual or routine that has made a huge difference for you lately.
- [62:55]
Sahara Rose
Definitely just moving first thing in the morning. I feel if I don't do it in the morning, the rest of my day is off and then I'm tired and my back hurts. So if I can just commit to that, I feel so much better.
- [63:07]
Josie
Do you a walk, a workout?
- [63:08]
Sahara Rose
I work out. I walk my dog and I work out.
- [63:11]
Josie
Okay. What do you do for workouts?
- [63:12]
Sahara Rose
I strength train. Oh yeah. So I do like lots of step ups and squats and deadlifts. Like, like actual strength training, which for me is really good for both my vata and my kapha.
- [63:24]
Josie
Okay.
- [63:24]
Sahara Rose
I was gonna ask for building structure. I don't do like hit or running or anything like that. And I used to do a lot of yoga, Ashtanga yoga. And I would have back. Back pain constantly. And now I never even need a massage because my back never hurts because it's so strong.
- [63:41]
Josie
I mean, that just goes to show because someone might have the opposite experience where the strength training is causing them all these issues. And yoga is the thing that heals. So it just is the perfect example
- [63:50]
Sahara Rose
because vata tend to be hypermobile. I was hyper mobile, so I was really good at yoga. I'm naturally flexible, but I was overdoing it. I need to build more balance and structure and stability. Someone who's super pitta, who's naturally very muscular, needs to stretch. That's why men are horrible at yoga, all of them. But they need it.
- [64:12]
Josie
Yeah.
- [64:12]
Sahara Rose
And we need to strength train.
- [64:14]
Josie
Okay. That makes so much sense. Wow. Okay. Fill in the blank. If everyone had this one habit, it would change their life.
- [64:21]
Sahara Rose
Asking themselves before asking someone else.
- [64:24]
Josie
Oh, that's a good one. I love to sit in a dark room and just like wait for an answer, because an answer always comes. It just might be a while. Best piece of advice you've ever received?
- [64:36]
Sahara Rose
I think the ayahuasca advice about the word should is something I keep coming back to time and time again.
- [64:41]
Josie
I love that. I mean, really, I'm gonna think about that all the time. Every time I accidentally say should of like shoulds are making you sick. Last question. A book that changed your life.
- [64:49]
Sahara Rose
I really love the Gene Keys, which I mentioned. And it's a book that I started reading, but kind of didn't really understand until the past few years. I love listening to it on audible. And it's just all these universal truths of these different qualities of life. And what's the shadow, the gift, and the siddhi, the highest form. And for me, it just allows me to see the patterns, like how we're all really going through the same different journeys of like, for example, one of them is this feeling of hunger that we all have. And it's like, how can you transmute that hunger into adventure? Or one of mine around love is expectation. That's my shadow with relationship. Or you, my husband. Is this going somewhere? Is this. How can I turn that into the gift? Detachment. But then the siddhi of that celebration.
- [65:36]
Josie
Oh, my God, I am gonna listen to this back and be like, okay, notes, notes. This was amazing. Blew my mind. Where can everyone find you? Podcasts, the books, all the tea.
- [65:46]
Sahara Rose
So my Instagram is I am Sahara Rose, so follow me on there. I'm always posting and sharing things and doing Q&As. I have a podcast called Highest Self Podcast, and my website is I am Saharrose.com, where you can find all those quizzes, courses, and books.
- [65:59]
Josie
I didn't even have to be here, which I know is what your podcast is.
- [66:02]
Sahara Rose
You needed to be here, girl.
- [66:03]
Josie
Just gone off for an hour and it would have been amaz. Thank you so much, Sahar.
- [66:07]
Sahara Rose
Trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom. Trust your inner guidance. Close your eyes and listen. So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, trust your inner guidance.