China vs. The Boys

Summary

History Hyenas: China vs. The Boys – Episode Summary

Released on January 2, 2025

Hosts: Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas
Podcast: History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas
Episode Title: China vs. The Boys

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Introduction to the Episode

In this energetic and humor-filled episode of History Hyenas, comedians Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas tackle the complex rise of China as a global superpower. Blending historical insights with their signature comedic flair, they explore China's economic transformation, geopolitical strategies, and the implications for the United States—all while keeping the laughs coming.

The Ascendancy of China

Historical Context and Economic Reform

Chris and Yannis delve into China's remarkable economic journey, tracing its roots from the "Century of Humiliation" to its current status as an economic juggernaut. They highlight pivotal figures like Deng Xiaoping, who spearheaded significant economic reforms in the late 1970s.

Chris (02:15): "It was a non-existent GDP back in the 1970s, now they're aiming to surpass the U.S. by 2035. That's some serious acceleration."

Belt and Road Initiative & Resource Control

The hosts discuss China's Belt and Road Initiative, emphasizing its strategic investments in global infrastructure and critical resources, particularly cobalt in the Congo. This control over essential materials for electronics and batteries positions China at the forefront of technological advancements.

Yannis (26:03): "China owns 70% of the Congo's cobalt mines. Without their cobalt, we wouldn't have the batteries for our Teslas or any podcast equipment!"

Implications for the United States

Economic and Military Competition

Chris and Yannis compare the sheer scale of China's population and economic power to the United States, humorously suggesting that America's physical prowess could offset China's numerical advantage.

Yannis (27:47): "One American soldier equals 25 Chinese soldiers because we’re bigger, bolder, and yep, we eat more beef."

Tariffs and Trade Tensions

The duo critiques current U.S. policies, particularly tariffs imposed under the "America First" agenda, and speculates on their effectiveness in countering China's economic strategies.

Chris (28:36): "Tariffs are like Crazy Eddie's deals—good for a quick buck but do we really know how it'll play out in the long run with China?"

Cultural Comparisons and Stereotypes

Humorous Takes on Cultural Differences

Throughout the episode, Chris and Yannis engage in lighthearted banter about cultural stereotypes, often pushing boundaries to elicit laughs while discussing serious topics.

Yannis (42:05): "Our boys are just bigger, because they're eating cows. You can't get jacked using chopsticks!"

Comedic Analogies

The hosts craft vivid and humorous analogies to illustrate their points, such as comparing China's strategic moves to historical military actions and invoking pop culture references.

Chris (43:30): "China is like Alexander the Great, trying to take over the world, but they're doing it through real estate instead of swords."

Strategies and Satirical Solutions

Satirical Recommendations

In their typical comedic style, Chris and Yannis propose outlandish and satirical solutions to counter China's rise, blending absurdity with sharp social commentary.

Yannis (43:24): "We need a massive pizza propaganda campaign. Domino’s and Pizza Hut should flood the market so the kids can't digest cheese!"

Pop Culture and Parody

The episode is peppered with parodies of popular culture and fictional scenarios, adding layers of humor to the discussion of serious geopolitical issues.

Chris (44:10): "Imagine riding dragons like Lady Gaga or floating Vishnu holograms over Delhi. That's how we're gonna keep up with China!"

Notable Quotes

• Chris Distefano (14:58): "Population is a double-edged sword. They have numbers, and you cannot deny China comes with numbers."

• Yannis Pappas (26:21): "Cobalt is the main thing needed to build electronic batteries. Without their cobalt, we're lost."

• Chris Distefano (29:55): "China is just very screwed in. They're trying to take over the world without firing a single shot. It's like World War Three, but peaceful."

• Yannis Pappas (46:19): "They're trying to make the yen the national currency. It's like they're trying to be the Bitcoin of countries."

Conclusion and Live Show Promotion

As the episode wraps up, Chris and Yannis transition from their in-depth (and humorous) analysis of China's rise to promoting their upcoming live shows and encouraging listeners to support their podcast through Patreon.

Chris (72:50): "Come see us live on January 18th at the Lincoln Theater in Washington, D.C.! Visit historyhyenasback.com for all the details."

Yannis (72:53): "And don’t forget to check out our Patreon for exclusive content and to join the history hyena pack!"

Final Thoughts

China vs. The Boys offers a comedic yet insightful exploration of China's meteoric rise and its potential impact on the global stage. Through witty dialogue, sharp observations, and a playful approach, Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas provide listeners with both laughs and a thought-provoking look at international relations.

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Notable Quote with Attribution and Timestamp:

Chris Distefano (02:15): "It was a non-existent GDP back in the 1970s, now they're aiming to surpass the U.S. by 2035. That's some serious acceleration."

Yannis Pappas (26:03): "China owns 70% of the Congo's cobalt mines. Without their cobalt, we wouldn't have the batteries for our Teslas or any podcast equipment!"

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This detailed summary captures the essence of the History Hyenas episode, ensuring a blend of key discussions, insightful points, and the hosts' unique humor for an engaging read.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm sitting here with my CO host, Christine DiStefano. Hi.

[A]

My name's. My name's Chris Pappas. I'm Frank.

[B]

You look very cute. And glasses. Yeah.

[A]

Feel good? Yeah, I feel. I. You can't see.

[B]

I can't see anything right now. Where's Jesse? Who are you?

[A]

Oh, my God, there's Jesse.

[B]

But here's the thing with your new curl and your glasses, right now you're Christopher Reeves, but you're Superman, but you're Clark Kent. Right now.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

But instead of superpowers, what comes out is full Frank Saed.

[A]

It's what it is. Frank Saeds. It's what it is. I. I'm Clark Kent now. Then I take these off and now I'm Superman. And then I start drinking and I'm paraplegic. Yeah, that's what it is.

[B]

Do you think your super power, I think, would be you would be manic man.

[A]

I'd be manic.

[B]

You'd be manic man.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, what's his power be like? He's going to get a lot of things done. He'll be able to talk to you on the phone while he's texting, while he's moving.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And while he's putting Cruella down.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

You tried to kill your dog with fucking dishwasher.

[A]

So it's what it is. And make no mistake, if this is another time, I would have ate it for Christmas.

[B]

Yeah. Rest in peace, Larry. And that you said we're going to eat it for Christmas is very appropriate because today we're talking about a group of people that likes to eat dogs.

[A]

Yeah, they like to eat dogs for food. And that's the Chinese. This episode is about how basically how China became the enemy.

[B]

Yeah. This episode is brought to you by America First Foreign policy.

[A]

It's what it is. Because we are preparing for January 6th.

[B]

We did a deep dive. So you don't have to. Today we're investigative reporters and what we found out is we did a deep dive. So, yes, we know that Jews crawl into your shoes. So when you're around them, make sure you lace up tight. But what we found out about the Chinese.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Is that they can turn invisible. They can fly.

[A]

They can fly. And what they can do is they could just get into the real estate market.

[B]

And that's another thing they could do is give you an all cash offer and you're going to take it. And I know what you think it. No, no, no. America first. I voted for Trump. We got to keep the neighborhood Irish. We got to keep the neighborhood Italian. I'd like to sell to a nice Italian family. Like my family was on 86th street off of 3rd Avenue. But guess what.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When that offer comes in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You go, you know, you know, Turkey LLC is offering Cash and the McCormick family is offering under asking price and ask me if it's okay if we don't renovate the house because it has a lot of family tradition and they want to go under asking. Right. But Ting Ting T LLC is offered me cash asking.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

So I'm going to look the other way and I'm moving to Staten Island.

[A]

It's what it is. That's what I'm doing. Because Juju Wang came in with an all cash offer and you just got to sell it to him.

[B]

Yeah. Now this episode will be tunnel 14. Here's the thing.

[A]

We are committed to not saying the F word in the first 10 minutes, but we are not committed to not doing Chinese accents. YouTube algorithm wants to demonetize us even further and push us down the algorithm. And that's just what it's going to have to be.

[B]

Weird.

[A]

I don't care.

[B]

Yeah. And what they predict is that China is going to be the top dog, the top economy by 2030.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that made me upset. So you know what I'm going to do?

[A]

What?

[B]

I'm getting pedicures every day for the next month to get these Chinese at my feet.

[A]

It's what it is. That's a good idea. I've been.

[B]

Because it's going to get paid pedicures and say, yeah, yeah. That's when you belong.

[A]

That's where you belong. Because you know what it is. Because I've been keeping a Chinese household just to prepare parent. I come in and take my shoes off and I in a hole in the backyard. Just kidding.

[B]

Yeah. Not only can they turn invisible, but they can fold up. They can fold up like a table and fit into a suitcase. So a lot of people are worried about nukes getting snuck into the country. I'm worried about. I'm worried about. Yeah, the Patreon. Slip it in duffel bags.

[A]

Duffel bags.

[B]

Go sneak in a bid.

[A]

If you want to hear the good stuff, go to patreon.com history hyenas because we are demonetized on YouTube. So we got to keep it in line. But make no mistake, I'm going to Miami this weekend, and when I open up my suitcase, I'm not sure if a couple of Chinese kids are going to come flying out because they fold up like origami.

[B]

They do fold up. They're very, very, very ergonomically conducive, and they can fit in all things. I just want to say right now, January 18th, we will be in Washington, D.C. at the Lincoln Theater.

[A]

Yes. Chinese welcome. By the way, the Chinese are welcome.

[B]

Chinese are welcome to buy all the tickets up that are not sold for cash. Yes, we'll perform to an empty room as long as the tickets are sold. But right now, we're selling. We're on.

[A]

We're on PA Sellout. That's what my agent said. But my agent is known to lie because he's a Frisbee. Here's the thing.

[B]

He's an ultimate Frisbee.

[A]

He's ultimate Frisbee. And cuz, make no mistake, that show on January 18th at the Lincoln Theater in Washington, D.C. is our first live history Hyena show. The only way that you can submit questions that we will ask or have a chance to get brought up on stage is go to patreon.com history hyenas submit a question, and we're going to take a lucky Patreon member and then come on stage. And make no mistake, we want the Chinese to treat those tickets like their little houses, okay? Just buy them up in cash right now.

[B]

Buy them up or treat them like food and styrofoam. Just kneel and sit down on a curb.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And eat it all up.

[A]

And make no mistake, if I see one more comment of one of you fans getting mad that we're plugging the Patreon, why don't you suck our Chinese assholes? Only because we got demonetized on YouTube. So this is the way we're trying to make a living. Because make no mistake, I bought a house. It's too expensive on Staten Island.

[B]

Yeah. And I just need help again from a Chinese llc. Now here's the Situation.

[A]

Yes. I did a reverse Chinese in a.

[B]

Reverse Chinese, which is good. When I was in San Francisco, I was there at San Francisco because when in rum, do as the Romans do.

[A]

What it is. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But I was there on the Chinese New Year. True story. And when I was there, they were setting off fireworks. Now I'm not used to what's going on and nobody warned me about the Chinese New Year, so I was there. And when you're in San Francisco, you just see Chinese. They're the Puerto Ricans of San Francisco everywhere. So I thought that the invasion had started and I tripped a couple Chinese guys.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's what it is, yo.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Jesus Christ, get on that button. Because today we're fucking hopped up. We're coming out there. Cocaine.

[A]

I knew Giannis, I knew Giannis was.

[B]

In real happy because we're coming from the Big Boy's birthday. It was Jesus's birthday. Proud to be Christian.

[A]

Yes. And your hair was raised to the roof this morning when I came in. It almost looked like you had hair implants. I don't know what happened. But now your hair is back to normal again, cuz. Did you take a shower last night or this morning or.

[B]

No, I didn't take a shower.

[A]

No. When you come in dirty, I can come. I know. When you come in with a dirty ass.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I got a dirty ass.

[A]

What percentage the fans wanted to add wanted to do bring this back. And we will. What percentage clean as your ass today right now?

[B]

Because I sweat. I, I, I did sweat last night and I woke up and it was wet underwear. I'm going to say the moisture takes me from a 79.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To a 67%. I got 67% precipitation in my plus.

[A]

You 67% clean ass. I got to be honest, I took a shower right before Cummings, but I did fart a little bit on the way here, so I'm 92% clean ass.

[B]

But guess what? You want to know why we're both safe? Why I brought witch hazel pads? Yeah. That's all we got to do is give it a nice little dab and you're ready to fucking get rim job.

[A]

That's what it is. Because now, Jesse, you had a Staten Island Christmas, so I know you ate a lot of Italian food. We are two days past Christmas. But what percentage clean is your ass? 85%. 85%.

[B]

Not bad. I would never go 100. You could never go 100 with a clean ass. No, you can, you can go 100% maybe right after the Witch hazel wipe. Yeah, you got to. What you got to do is you. The best way to do it is take a bath. So you can soak that thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Rub it with your hand. Rub it with a bar so get really in there. And then when you get out. Two. Two tabs. Two tabs of a witch hazel pad. Or after you take a. You can get it back to 93.

[A]

93.

[B]

Where you get many threes. You have. You got to have one of those bidets.

[A]

Bidets.

[B]

You gotta go French. You gotta let that water soak for a good seven minutes. Just let it spray. I say seven minutes because it feels good. So why not just let it happen what it is?

[A]

Because the problem is with me, with the bidet is every time I let it spray my ass, I wind up peeing on my chest because I get a boner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it is.

[B]

The water goes in the ass and it comes out the penis.

[A]

And it's what it is because I.

[B]

Get instantly hard because, let's be honest, it feels good when it touches your. It feels. I move it around. I shift it around like that. I shifted.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You have to.

[B]

Yeah, I get up like this and.

[A]

I just move it around because I don't know. I don't know if there's more pleasure, if then. Then getting the stimulated. That's what God wants. That's where you put the pleasure button.

[B]

Yeah, that's what it is. And let me just tell you something. Let me give you a little tip. If you move around a little bit, you let it hit the tape. Definitely go pure. That pressure on the Tate, I don't know what it is. Yeah, just a heart. You got to make sure you got a nice hard stream from that. But they just let it hit that.

[A]

That's what it is. Because. And make no mistake, we have not said the F word, but the content has just gotten us all the way down once again. We're down because it's just who we are.

[B]

Yeah, but I mean, I'm not gonna.

[A]

Change for the algorithm.

[B]

We're not gonna change who we are.

[A]

I'm not gonna change who I am.

[B]

We're just a couple of souped up kids that obviously got what from Santa?

[A]

I got what I wanted from Santa. And make no mistake, it's this north face jacket that I got from Santa that's kind of brindle shit green that my girl bought me. And I do love it. I want to say publicly I love it, but I'll tell you the truth on Patriarchy.

[B]

Let me see that jacket.

[A]

Yeah. Because it's just a nice.

[B]

Yeah, no, that's totally like. I just want you to be safe in the streets because it's close enough. It's close enough to look like the gang. What's the gang? I'm talking about it look close enough to the colors of Lion King, but also enough to leave you alone. But also enough that you look like an off duty cop. So I want you two just be safe when you walking around. Cuz I don't want you to get beat up.

[A]

I don't want you get beat up.

[B]

This is.

[A]

This is what we. This is a Sunset park special.

[B]

Sunset Park. That was nice. I got that chef from DSW because.

[A]

Make no mistake, I'm very happy to have it. But make no mistake, my girl got me a North Face and I got her a trip to Florence. So it's just a little different.

[B]

Well, can we just call it what it is, models? Is Puerto Rican Bloomingdale what it is?

[A]

That's what it is. No, but I. Oh, I'm happy.

[B]

Like the way we need to do when the Chinese invade and they stormed the beaches of Santa Monica. We got to be ready.

[A]

We have to be ready. And that's what this episode Pepperdine University.

[B]

Is going to be the front lines of the Chinese storm. Because you're coming.

[A]

Here's the thing with the Chinese, what they're doing. The way I could describe the Chinese is they're picking up speed. Yes, those kids are picking up speed. Because if you just go back to the 1970s, China had a non existent GDP. They were literally in like. How many countries are there? 350. They were in like 348th place because.

[B]

It was like 80.

[A]

It was not. Yes, it was a non existent GDP. They were not at all on the map. And then they changed. I wanted to learn the Chinese names, but make no mistake, cuz I don't know the difference between.

[B]

You just got to. You just got to drop a bunch of silverware and then that's what it is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you're going to come up with 10 names just by accident.

[A]

Yes. Fucking. I don't know. Mao Day Schlong. That guy.

[B]

My big tongue.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. My, my.

[B]

Here's the thing.

[A]

It's not people. That's racist. No, they can't pronounce our names either. It's just a different culture. Yeah, shut up with the picking. Which culture you're allowed to make fun of and which culture you're not? Because I see a lot of you on there going, oh, Luigi Amario. But that's okay, you pieces of.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Ask a Chinese guy to try to pronounce Larry our Uber driver, or Larry the dog that Chris tried to kill.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, it's not going to come out loud.

[A]

It's going to be.

[B]

It's going to be rarity.

[A]

It's going to be rari. And that's what it is. Gary, the Uber driver that we posted the episode of our time in [e-mail] history hyenas. He did tell us that he can't. He shoots blanks. He did tell us that shoots blanks.

[B]

Got no prostate.

[A]

And we illegally recorded him. But Jesse did a screwed in move and didn't put any of the video out there. Instead, it was all audio. And then we are kind of safe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That way.

[B]

And I don't think Larry's ever going to do any research to find out what happened. And we may just start Karma Kazi in Uber drivers because it ended up being a very fun idea.

[A]

No, that's a 10 out of 10.

[B]

Yeah, I think. I think we. Karma kazi.

[A]

Karma Kazi is a 10 out of 10. Where we are going to put on the Patreon. We're going to be in the backseat of Ubers, and we're going to secretly record our conversations with them. Yeah, that's a great way to do it.

[B]

That's a great legal way to do it.

[A]

And we talked about. We were at our time in Austin with Joe Rogan and we thought the episode was coming out the next day. And make no mistake, we're sitting here one week later and the episode still not out.

[B]

And Slow case. It's slow case.

[A]

He put out an episode of him and Duncan Trussell in elf costume, which is a 10 because they're squeaks.

[B]

Yeah. Well, we went wild on the episode. So maybe he may hold it like the Tim Dillon episode. Who knows?

[A]

Could be. That could be his version of the. The Tim Dillon episode where he's saying, this is too wild. I can't even put it out.

[B]

Who knows?

[A]

I don't know. Talk about China.

[B]

Yeah, but speaking of Joe Rogan, I see China a lot like Joe Rogan in the sense that he told us when he was little, he was small. He was a small guy and he got bullied. And then he just said, I wanted to become the guy I was scared of. That is China. They got kicked around like a rag doll by the Japanese, by the Japanese, by the British. They had what they called a Century of humiliation at the hands of the British and everybody else with the opium wars. We got the. The British, got them all addicted to opium. All these Western internationals were in there, the tea companies, whatever they were called, and they were in there and they were just raking the land, raking the resources, dominating them after. They come from this proud history of thousands of years of dynasties in eunuch.

[A]

But yeah.

[B]

And having a good time.

[A]

The original eunuch from China.

[B]

Thousands of years of emperors in glory. They came up with paper. They came up with gun powder, spaghetti. Yeah. They came up with nail files for. For pedicures.

[A]

Yes. They came.

[B]

Good hand job.

[A]

They came up with web feet.

[B]

Yeah. They came up with happy endings.

[A]

Happy endings. Yeah.

[B]

Came up with all these things. I mean, they came up with the noodle and then.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What happened is just the Europeans took the noodle, turned it into something good. And they also took the gunpowder and they turned it into something good. And unfortunately they took that technology, they turned it on the Chinese.

[A]

It's what it is. Because we just started shooting spaghetti.

[B]

Yeah. They were like, well, we didn't know you could do that with that powder. And they said, you're not as evil as we are because like the Israelites said the. All the white men are lepers.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

Because 14.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And we got. We. It's just the truth that we have Neanderthal DNA and we're just a little more evil than everybody else.

[A]

What it is, the white man. You gave us powder, we use it for guns and we snort it. That's what it is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's how we roll.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And here's the thing, cuz. Population is a double edged sword.

[B]

Okay, Talk to me about it.

[A]

Population is a double edged sword, bubbas. Because here's the thing, Lieutenant Lollipop is double population. They have numbers. The one thing you cannot deny about China is they come with numbers.

[B]

Yeah. They do spread. They reproduce like string beans.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. It's what it is. Because what I like to call them is the Puerto Ricans of the East.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So I mean, because. And then we're hitting that soundboard heavy today and sometimes it's just gonna be what it is.

[B]

Yeah. And I like to call their sperm long distance runners. Yes. Because the penises are small. So that sperm's really got to travel far to get to that egg. I'd like to call the black sperm is more of a sprinter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's really only got to go like a quick 50 meters to get where it needs to Go.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It might have to. Yeah. Patty, you want to get in here?

[B]

Pat?

[A]

Give it up for Patty Clips. Walking in here with our breakfast. Come in here because. Yeah, it's got a. Pat's got one. Oh, you coming in? Yeah, yeah, just give him his coffee. Yeah. Oh, the door is locked. Yeah, see that's. Yeah, Just in case there's a school shooting in here. The door's locked from the inside. That's what it is, Patty. With the fatty coming in. We both got on Nick's sweatshirt. That's what it is. Yeah. Let me feed your butt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Pat, the Lebanon sensation.

[B]

Pat.

[A]

Now, Pat is born and raised in Staten island, so he also knows Chinese are the enemy. And they're trying, what they wanted to try to put up a gate on the verge on a bridge and not let those fuckers in. But they keep getting in.

[B]

But the problem is, like we said, they can fly, so that's the difference. At night they said. We saw drones up there. You know what that was? Yeah, Chinese.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

Yeah, they were. Yeah, you look closer, it's Chinese. Those are. Those were guys.

[A]

Those were guys up there. Yeah. What, what I call. Those were deliveries.

[B]

Those were delivery happening. Yeah.

[A]

No, so obviously we're fucking around. We do love the Chinese. We want, we want the Chinese vote. We love Chinese people. We're just getting. We're just packed piece. But let me tell you, population is a double edged sword, folks, because China take China, they had big numbers, just like India has big numbers. And your population, you can either use them for good or for evil. And what China was doing is they had these. All these people. And basically the people were kind of collapsing in on themselves, I think. What do you just hit a light with his butt?

[B]

Yeah, well, yeah, that just hit a.

[A]

Light with his butt.

[B]

He's got a fat ass.

[A]

Yeah. It's what he's been hired by the Chinese to sabotage. Yeah, yeah. So, so what they were for the first, you know, for these years when the, you know, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, when they had the little GDP, they just were basically on their farmlands and they were just self sustaining their own farms and they were basically just feeding themselves. And then one day China turned around. I forgot who the leader was. Who was the leader that turned it all around? Was it Mao, Mao, Mao, Mao, Mao Zeding Dong.

[B]

People going, oh, that's offensive. No, actually that's the correct pronunciation.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I can't go Mao Zedong. You gotta go Mexitong that's how you say it.

[A]

So Mao Zedong, what he did is.

[B]

He said, you know, Mao says dong.

[A]

Yeah, Mao says dong. Mickey Mouse dong. Yeah. So what he did is he said, you know what we're doing? Why don't we, instead of just having all these people who are dying of starvation and only feeding themselves, why don't we try to see if basically we can take some of this land that they have and we will take it for the government. And then what we'll do is we'll have companies come in, like Apple was a big one, and other companies come in and basically lease the land from them. So these people are now starting to make money by themselves and they actually getting money in their pocket instead of just feeding themselves corn. And I didn't know you could grow fucking wontons under the ground. But they're doing it.

[B]

Apparently we're doing it. Yeah.

[A]

And so all their food. And what they said was they're going to get money from these companies because they're leasing their land. China said, we're trying to basically open themselves up to the world and said, look, we got a big population here, we got a lot of land folks, why don't you come here? We're going to give you a sick tax break. You don't even have to pay taxes for three years. We're only going to take eventually, after three years, like 20% of your tax money, which was like unheard of, and we'll let you lease the land for 99 years. And what they. What happened was, is these companies like Apple and IBM and all these companies started working on the land. And the, the farmers who own the land in China were getting money and then they're buying groceries, they're supporting the Chinese economy. And now all of a sudden you have all these people, all these millions of people hitting the Chinese economy, spending money. It's going from communism to capitalism, and their GDP starts to go double, triple and quadruple year after year.

[B]

Right. Now that was actually Dang Xiaoping.

[A]

Dang Xiaoping. That's what was. I knew it wasn't Mao's age.

[B]

So before that was Mao, right? Before that was Mao was Mao. And then before that was Chiang Kai. Check.

[A]

Yes. Yeah.

[B]

I'm just trying to do it correctly.

[A]

Right?

[B]

So Chiang Kai check was the guy. Yes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So Chiang Kai. Check him out.

[A]

They.

[B]

The ones that was having the pop up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, they have pop up.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And yeah. So Mao was Chairman Mao. He was the communist guy. Then Chiang Kai check was the guy that was in bed with Britain and trying to get these guys and they had a little bit of civil war that Mao ended up winning. And just to go a little farther back to set it all up for you, was that that century of humiliation, right, where. And then the, the, the, the Communist Party, they looked to the Soviets, right? And the Soviets were like, yeah, we're going to be like that. They saw the happy marching in the street and all that. They didn't know it was going to lead to, you know, 35 million, whatever, deaths from starvation because they weren't getting the profits until this guy.

[A]

We have the chat GPT slots here, folks.

[B]

But till you said Deng J. Tao, he, he in. He implemented these economic reforms in 1978.

[A]

That's what it was.

[B]

That's when the GDP started growing exponentially, making it the second largest economy in the world. World. Eventually they went from rags to riches in like 40 years. And it all started with Richard Nixon going over there and saying, hey, we're gonna open it up. And that's when you started to see the American cities that weren't finished get finished over there. All their cities are so high tech. And you go to our cities and.

[A]

You'Re like, wow, right?

[B]

So that's the big problem. And that's why we created them, right? We, we turned them into the quote, unquote, world's factory because they're their, the main, the, their economy became an export economy. They were just making for everybody. And now they've accelerated that and they're going with influence. And here's what I think. Yeah, I think their whole motivation is revenge. Yeah, I think it's revenge.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

They want Taiwan back, but it's all revenge for the humiliation. And so they're just going. They're doing like, that all means necessary kind of Malcolm X kind of economy that the Germans did in a lot of ways, because the Nazis, it was like, what were they, Were they social capitalists? They were like, by any means.

[A]

What do you know, like, how the youth here, like, doesn't. Like they don't know our history of.

[B]

Wait, who's the youth? Are you talking about the ute.

[A]

Yeah, the youth.

[B]

Oh, you okay?

[A]

I was like, if I was like, hey, who's Franklin Rose out there? Like, is that like the mall in Long Island? Like, they wouldn't know, like, their youth, Chinese youth, they know their history and they have a lot of pride because the Chinese believe they prioritize education and they prioritize national pride. So you do not ever forget it. We're Here we don't prioritize that at all. We prioritize just fucking. Everyone could use any bathroom they want.

[B]

That's what we. So that's what the problem is.

[A]

What it is.

[B]

That's what's causing the problem.

[A]

But the A leader, Dang. He said this. This was a big thing. He said, by the time Deng held power, tens of thousands of young people each year were escaping to Hong Kong. When told of the problem during a visit to Guangdong in 1977, Deng explained that the solution lay not in tightening border security with more fencing and more border patrols, but improving the economy of Guangdong so young people would not feel that they had to flee to Hong Kong to find jobs. So that was. Was g. Went radically against every other leader there. He said, why don't we stop trying to fence him in? And why don't we just say, it's great here. Why do you even want to leave?

[B]

Yeah. And much like the noodle and much like gun power, much like Papa Roos. Papa Roos. Which became paper.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We take what the Chinese did, and we made it better. They built the Great Wall of China.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And now we're going to improve upon that and build the Great Wall on the border. That's right. With drones and all those types of things could be a nice, beautiful wall.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not saying I'm for it or against. I'm just saying we're going to improve it.

[A]

Beautiful wall.

[B]

You're not going to get around it. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And you know what it is, too, with the. With the Chinese is they just were able. They. They made nice bets. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, he's good. And they make good general. Sells chicken.

[A]

They do make good general. And this is why they. This is why they own. A lot of them own casinos because they just good at gambling.

[B]

They love to gamble.

[A]

So what The Chinese did a big, big thing. What they did is when the stock market crashed, 2008. Right. Everybody's like, oh, you know, money. They. They. Nobody wants to invest. Whatever. So China, at the time, the Congo Republic.

[B]

Right.

[A]

They had a big civil war there. Nobody wanted to invest in.

[B]

No, no. You don't want to go vacation there even now.

[A]

No, it's not a nice. It's not. It's not nicest time.

[B]

No. It's not just the net. It's not just that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You want to go someplace else.

[A]

So Congo is having a civil war.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And China, all of a sudden, out of nowhere during a global recession, says we're going to invest $5 billion in the Congo. We're going to get them out of the civil war, we're going to build the infrastructure, we're going to help heal the Congo. And everyone else is like, look at how dumb the Chinese are, the going to the Congo, right? But the Chinese were just sitting there with their hats on, kind of in the abacus.

[B]

Screwed in.

[A]

Screwed in. They had the abacus and they were saying that the sun.

[B]

They had the what?

[A]

The abacus.

[B]

What's that?

[A]

How they do math.

[B]

Okay, I never heard that.

[A]

You never heard of an abacus, of course. Oh, you never heard an app?

[B]

What is it?

[A]

No, because it's, you know like when you have the. It's like a little box and then they move little balls. I don't know how they do math, but they.

[B]

So they were basically doing math like my 3 year old girl does.

[A]

But that's the way to do beans across the line. They move beans across the line and they hide the abacus. And they were doing, they were doing all these math equations and they said the sun is pointing to Congo. They said Congo is where it's at. And nobody could understand why. And here's what, here's why they're screwed. And here's what they knew. Here's what the Chinese advocates told them years before our leaders found out. They said what the world is moving towards is electronic vehicles and electronic energy.

[B]

Ev.

[A]

Okay, so what they said is what does the Congo have? What does Congo have? Congo has the biggest mine of what.

[B]

I was about to say. A lot of black people. It does have a lot of black people. Yeah, it does.

[A]

A lot of black.

[B]

Got the most of that.

[A]

Yeah, they got the most of that. Yeah. Which China, by the way, doesn't. They don't. They're. They're like one of the only. They were never racist against black people. Most other countries were at some point. I'm saying.

[B]

I don't know about that.

[A]

Are they racist against blacks?

[B]

Yes, they are. Okay, sorry. Presently I think they are. It's pretty bad.

[A]

Are they race against blacks? Okay, so unfortunately, I don't know everything.

[B]

Yeah, unfortunately.

[A]

Okay, so sorry. Yeah, sorry. To our black brothers and sisters.

[B]

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[A]

So what they had was Congo had a cobalt mine. Cob. Yeah, the biggest cobalt mine.

[B]

Is that what's in Duracell in the world?

[A]

Yes. So cobalt is the main thing needed to build electronic batteries. The batteries for Teslas and any other type of electronic car. That's what cobalt does. So what's happened is China bought in. They own 70% of the Congo's cobalt.

[B]

Sneaky, sneaky.

[A]

And the Congo. Now cobalt has went up 400% in just the last 10 years and it's predicted to go up another 400%. And guess who owns 70% of it? The Chinese.

[B]

Yeah, the Chinese.

[A]

So that's going to add. Their prediction is by 2035 their GDP is going to be bigger than the United States. And make no mistake, that's why I said they are gaining speed because right now we are still number one. But these kids are catching up big. Yeah, big, big, big.

[B]

But it went from cooperation and symbiosis to now America is sort of re examining their relationship with China. And it started with Biden and his first speech when he went in there. The first thing he said is there's no reason why we can't make these little chips here. Yeah, he said there's no reason we can, we can do that here and they can. And that's what he was. Basically, that's where it started going, hey, we're going to start bringing a lot of these manufacturers. He's like, there's no reason where I, we can't be the leader in this. And so now China's not really thrilled about that because they love our money. They love, and they're, they love the way their economy was going, where they were making stuff for us and they were just raking in money. Right. We did lift them up out of poverty, but we turned them into a superpower because they took all that money and they took all that population.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And they turned it into a vicious military.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And they got a very strong military with a billion soldiers. But what they don't have is the boys. We still got the boys now.

[A]

Still the boys.

[B]

Explain to you how it works real quick. Yeah, let me explain. One Chinese soldier is about what, 5, 5 average.

[A]

5, 5 average.

[B]

One of our soldiers, one of our corn fed soldiers. What about six foot? What put them on Winstrel. These guys are big, big boys. Yeah, these are big boys around Texas. So I would say one American soldier each equals 25 Chinese soldiers. That's why we actually do the math. We got the biggest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because our boys are just bigger. Because they're eating cows.

[A]

They're eating cows.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the Chinese are. And that's the thing, cuz, is you're not. You can't get jacked using chopsticks. It's not going to work.

[B]

It's just. You can't get jacked eating. You can't do it.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My stepson like to take chopsticks and pole vault with it. That's what he does. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So there's just a difference. Difference. So now America is sort of reexamining, and that's why a lot of tensions are happening, because tariffs are going into. And who knows? Trump is going to slap. He's going to be giving out tariffs like Crazy Eddie was giving away deals.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Tariff, tariff, tariff. He could be slapping tariffs on opa.

[A]

You get a tariff, you get a tariff, you get a tariff.

[B]

It's just going to be giving them out.

[A]

And some people are saying with the tariffs that it's good, some people are saying it's bad. The bottom line is you just don't know. You never know with the Chinese. You don't know how it's going to affect them, what they're going to do.

[B]

Yeah. Because what's happened is we've finally woken up to the giant we've created, and now we don' Want to. Because they're competing with us now and they're trying to make their. What is it? The one. The yen. The one.

[A]

They're trying. Yeah, they're trying to make that the national currency.

[B]

About that. Yeah. They. So it's like.

[A]

It's like they're bitcoin. Hold on.

[B]

Yeah, Let it go.

[A]

Yeah, that's it.

[B]

And the whole.

[A]

Sometimes I could fart in the tune of the national anthem.

[B]

Sometimes you can do it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

During national tragedies.

[A]

Yeah, it could happen. Yeah.

[B]

So they. The bricks and all that. So Trump's coming in, he's taking a hard line against that. The only thing is, some people believe. I've heard at the firehouse. What I have heard at the firehouse. What I have heard. Yeah. Is, you know Schmitty. Yeah, yeah, Schmitty. Yeah, Schmitty told me. Schmitty told me down there. This guy reads a lot. Yeah. Now, what he told me was. He said. Now what happened was when Trump started putting the tariffs on. On the Chinese. Yeah. Initially, the Chinese got upset because you don't fuck with anyone's money. You fucking with the money, and that's what they don't like. And so they didn't like Trump for that reason. So, yeah, Covid, the fucking China virus did come to hurt Trump. Trump individually. Yeah.

[A]

They come to her in a different way.

[B]

Yeah, they came to hurt him in a different way. It came sauce in a different way. So what? I'm scared now. He's doing the right thing by America first and all that. Yeah, he's doing the right thing, but the problem is I'm scared.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Ladder 14. Yeah. But it's also gonna have to get cackled, unfortunately.

[A]

That one's gonna get cackling. That one's on the Patreon. There's nothing we could do. You guys can complain all you want. We can't put that one out for free.

[B]

You know what I'm talking about? Talking about the screen mask. People. People Way Song. She ain't talking about those. I'm talking about them. Just at the firehouse. Yeah. And this is what Schmitty was saying.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wish he was here to defend himself because I'm just quoting what he said. I didn't say. Yeah, it's a character piece of a character piece. Yeah. It's a double character piece. So I'm very far from. What's with the verbiage that I'm using here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But he said they're gonna throw a. They're gonna hurl another one of those China viruses if we give them a tariff. If. When Trump comes in there and try to stop fucking General Drum fucking. They're trying to stop this guy.

[A]

I'm telling you. Because the only place to be safe is Staten Island.

[B]

Yeah. That's not going to get over there. Yeah. Because they're basically going to put a fucking couple of rocks on the tracks of the Trump train. Yeah. And those fucking rocks are going to be another. They're going to hurl another. But China virus out. Yeah. Because. Yeah.

[A]

It's been confirmed by our squeak fauci that it was, in fact from China. Yeah.

[B]

And this is all that I heard from Schmitty. So that's what I'm worried about.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's the only thing I'm worried about.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

And it makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. And that's a little. That was just a little social commentary from the firehouse.

[A]

That was just at the fireside.

[B]

That's not US Ladder 14.

[A]

It's all it is. And by the way, we might have an inside info to. We might have an inside track to do a podcast from the actual Ladder 14 truck. We have an inside info from a friend of mine.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who we actually really can do it. I'm not even kidding around.

[B]

That'd be great.

[A]

That would be wild. That would be wonderful. Yeah.

[B]

Are we big in that firehouse?

[A]

Yes, we are known about.

[B]

You are known about.

[A]

Well, not us. I mean the ladder 14.

[B]

Ladder fourteens. Yes. Yeah.

[A]

Because we work there. We work.

[B]

We work there.

[A]

We. You don't work there. But the guy.

[B]

Those guys. Yeah, they work there. And let me tell you something. I. I do a nice eggplant roller T when it's my turn for the guys.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And what I like to do is board game night.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When it's a slow night, I like to do board game night. I like. Sorry. I grew up playing. Sorry. Yeah.

[A]

You know what? For Christmas, I bought other guys bathrobes with their names on it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nice kid.

[A]

It had a Mets logo.

[B]

It's nice. Yeah. Midi cooks a great. Yeah, he gets. He get that little electronic coal oven for the pizzas.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the kid can make a. For an Irish kid, he makes a good.

[A]

I just want to.

[B]

Out.

[A]

I just want to shout out Schmitty because he gave me a beautiful birthday gift last week. He sent me a cameo of Pete Alonso saying, happy birthday. And I appreciate that.

[B]

And you know what he did?

[A]

I cried. I show my whole family.

[B]

And you know what he did for. He. You know, he did for my daughter on a confirmation.

[A]

What'd he do?

[B]

He gave a nice. A real nice ankle bracelet with a nice blue stone in it. Yeah, it was real nice. And I think he bought it from the Chinese.

[A]

Yeah, he probably did. Because they just give you for a good price.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so here's the thing, too. With. With. With China, one thing to know is that cobalt, that's a big thing. That is their big, big, big, big, big thing. And the other thing is, is we are almost certain of this. China is just very screwed in. And they're not doing anything illegal. What they're doing is. Is they're trying to. Same way United States, same way Alexander the Great. Same way everyone before them as the power tries to eventually take over the world. So is China. And they really, honestly are doing it through real estate. They are trying to buy up all the real estate in big American cities. Cities. Because they know if we own the real estate, we own them. And they potentially could, you know, switch places with us. They become the number one superpower, and we become number two without firing a single shot. So it's kind of screwed in, and it's kind of like World War Three, but peaceful.

[B]

Yeah. And they're doing espionage, they're doing disinformation.

[A]

The thing that Chinese can get me with big is a honey pot. I will get honey potted big. I mean, cuz make no mistake, I like Chinese women because they.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very nice.

[A]

It's very nice because. Yeah. Make no mistake, sometimes I make Jasmine put a stick through her hair. Yeah.

[B]

Cuz they really. When you're giving them a talking to, they. They listen.

[A]

They listen because they.

[B]

You don't even have to discipline them.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

They. Jesus Christ. When you hit the button, please.

[A]

Some of this is on Patreon. Yeah.

[B]

Jesus. Right?

[A]

This episode is just going to sound like a radio morning show, but it's funny because we need to do it because we need to just watch it way. Make no mistake.

[B]

How could you not hit the button when I say you don't need to discipline them? Yeah, I mean it sounded pretty tame to me.

[A]

It sounded tame.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

Yeah, cuz Jesse's from Benson.

[B]

Yeah, that sounds pretty.

[A]

Sounds pretty good because not only from Bensonhurst, if you don't know anything about Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, New York. Jesse's. That's where Jesse's from. So he's growing up with discipline to have an Italian side. But then also he does not like the Chinese because they overtook his neighborhood.

[B]

They did.

[A]

So he's upset about that. Yeah, yeah. But shout out any of our Chinese fans. We thank you so much for your support and we thank you so much for your cobalt. We. Without. We wouldn't have cell phones or any podcast equipment without the cobalt from Congo. Owned by China.

[B]

Yeah. Now when I heard about. About all that they went through and what the Japanese did to them. Coffee's good. Is it good? Yeah. For so long the Japanese, you know, starting in like 1931, they started invading China, right. So up from 1931 to 1945, they would just feel gold kicking the Chinese.

[A]

What it is.

[B]

And Chiang Kai Check's whole goal.

[A]

Is that a real name? Are you making that one up?

[B]

Chiang Kai Check.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Chiang Kai Check.

[A]

That's a real one.

[B]

Shanghai Shek.

[A]

Shanghai.

[B]

Shanghai Shrek.

[A]

That's his real name.

[B]

Real name. His name is Ching Hai Shrek.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So at that time, you know, Mao was siding. Was Chairman Mao was siding with the Soviets. Shanghai Shack. Siding with the Western powers, kind of getting support from both. But at that time they decided to unite, right. To try to fight the Japanese invasion because the Japanese got really industrialized and they. What they didn't have was that good Arable land. Because they're just an island.

[A]

Island.

[B]

So they decided we're invading China.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And they. You know, the Rape and King, they were brutal. So many. They killed so many Chinese during the.

[A]

World War II, they said Hitler killed about 15 million. Stalin killed about 25 million. And in China, they said about 85 to 100 million died mostly of starvation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So that's big.

[B]

I think they had about 400 milli population. Boy, has that grown.

[A]

That's big time.

[B]

Boy, it's grown. But back now that.

[A]

Now they have that just in the Lower east side.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, they got them underground, that. They're underground, too. Yeah, they're underground, too.

[A]

They are.

[B]

They're everywhere.

[A]

They are.

[B]

Yeah. Chinese people everywhere. As Mr. Palace would say. Chinese people.

[A]

But we love Chinese people, by the way. We love Chinese food.

[B]

We love Chinese food. We love Chinese people. We love.

[A]

We're just. We're just. Yeah, we're just talking about. We're just talking about the history of how they became the superpower.

[B]

Yeah. We're just talking about the facts of the situation now. Yeah. They went through so much. I thought about Ali Wong. I was like, this is what her family has been through. It's a lot of intergenerational trauma.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

The cycle has to end with you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So she's got to break the cycle. Everyone's got to break the cycle now. This is Sergeant Snuggles. So you guys come from a long history of fighting in the. In the east, in the Eastern hemisphere? Why? Listen. And, hey, how do you tell the difference?

[A]

I'm Lieutenant Lollipop. If you know me, I'm a big fan of cultural diversity. That's why I love flagrant two podcasts. And he said that as well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they all look the same. Yeah.

[B]

And just throwback. I mean. I mean, you took up your arms in resistance, but why didn't you think for one second to maybe put the Japanese on notice?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Why didn't you do that?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Why didn't you just. When they were marching over those fucking hills, why didn't you say, japanese, stop.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're on notice for what you're trying to do. This is not cool.

[A]

It's because it's very. It's very.

[B]

It's almost Sinophobic.

[A]

It's very hard to tell the difference between the Chinese and Japanese, especially at the time. The only way to know the difference is, is one group had pushed their hair up, one group had bangs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, that's what it is.

[B]

Seriously, if you did a taste test, you know how sometimes people will line up, cook. Cook Pepsi or like, how can you. Like, if you light up Korean, Japanese, Chinese. Yeah, like what? I go, like, what.

[A]

What would I taste if I. If I put. If I put Chinese meat, Japanese meat, and Korean meat out there? And I put a blindfold around Jeffrey Dahmer and I said, tell me, do you think he would know the difference?

[B]

He wouldn't know the difference. Now a lot of you are going, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, Whoa, guys. Whoa. Yeah, put it. Put a fudgeing. Put a red light on that, because you guys are going too far. Okay, let me ask you a question. Could a Chinese tell the difference between a Greek and Italian and French person? No.

[A]

They can.

[B]

Three white guys. No, you couldn't.

[A]

You couldn't.

[B]

You couldn't. So why are we fighting? That's the point. Ukraine, Russia, why? We're all the same. We have to put this fighting completely on fucking notice as.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Stop it. Yeah, just like the Hollywood celebrities when they make a video. Putin. Stop, stop, stop it. Putin.

[A]

So, right. And this has been the love lab with Lieutenant Lollipop and Sergeant Snuggles.

[B]

That was a little love, because we're all love.

[A]

But that is a good point, because. Is that why. Why didn't at that point, China. I mean, nobody saw China. China was kind of like Park Slope.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where Park Slope. People were buying up property there. Nobody knew that it was going to become this, you know, great neighborhood in Brooklyn where the property value is through the roof. Now that was like China. Everyone was just saying, f China. Nobody cares about China. And then China was saying, but you're gonna need. You're gonna. You're gonna know us someday. Yeah, you're gonna know us someday. And then that's what happened. Little by little, once they started changing leadership around and they started to go from communism, which is no bueno, to capitalism, which is all bueno. They have now become. I mean, cuz unfortunately, you know, I bleed red, white and blue. You know, I love this country. You know, I have stay draped in the American.

[B]

I've actually looked in his toilet and you did. Yeah, I've looked.

[A]

I told you.

[B]

Fucking amazing.

[A]

I sent you that picture. We're gonna.

[B]

It is Captain America.

[A]

We're gonna put the picture on the Patreon. I sent the honest that I'm gonna get for the studio if he allows it, you know, that I don't fuck around. Because when this picture, we're gonna post it on Patreon. Is, I don't fuck around. I love this country. But if we just look at the numbers. If you look at just the numbers, China is gonna catch up and they're gonna pass us financially just because they got so many more ways to make money. And also, the people over there in China, China, they work. They don't have only fans. They're not working from home. They're not doing a hybrid work. They're not doing any of that. They just go to work.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So. And they just love their country and nationalism. I know that there's problems with it, but in this case, it's good because they just want to see their country be number one. Where a lot of our biggest enemy to the Americans is the American people nowadays. And that's a problem.

[B]

Yeah. Ice, like I said, I see a lot of similarities. Not in anything else, except for the humiliation of Germany and then the comeback. Comeback. And the motivation because of the humiliation. It's like when you lose and you want to win. I see a similarity there. Then you add that with the Confucius, the Confucian work ethic.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

The national pride that grew out of that communist movement grew out of the Japanese invasions. And then Mao Zedong kind of, you know, he was good for uniting the country in that national pride that grew out of that humiliation. But then they just saw that it wasn't working.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Millions of people were dying for starvation. And then this dude came along. Now, then that's when Dang Dang Luau Dang came on the scene.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he said, we're gonna do this different. And like you said, he. He brought in these foreign businesses and he gave them tax breaks in these certain areas that he districted.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

For tax breaks and for them to develop. He. He. All these national companies. He said, you can go private and reap benefits.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And then it was capitalism in that mixed economy that you also see happening in Vietnam now. Now that really lifted them out of poverty and started getting the engine moving. And boy, did they move like a bullet train. I mean, that Confucian work. That Confucian work ethic. And then also I think even more is that humiliation. Think about it. When you break up with your girl, you. You. You're heartbroken, and you get in shape.

[A]

Yeah. You want to get jacked.

[B]

You get up there, when you get rejected, you know, you get. You start moving. And that's basically chopped China. They've been kicked around so long, so now they're like, we're going to be the dominant force. It's Never going to. They're basically the new Jews because they're saying, never again.

[A]

Right.

[B]

They're motivated at it. Never again.

[A]

What it is.

[B]

And. And their Germans are the Japanese.

[A]

Right. And it's amazing. They'll say that. You know, they're the smartest people. They're. They're the fastest growing immigrant. They're the smartest people in usually every class, but yet there's. There's this campaign message that they're being abused and that they're like, not, you know, like, they're not doing well. So that's just all. Because they're just crushing everybody.

[B]

They're crushing everybody. And so are the South Asians. They're crushing their number.

[A]

They're crushing everybody. But they CR a lot. So you're just like, what's going on?

[B]

You're killing everybody that most of them don't. Most of them just.

[A]

Actually, yeah, you're right. Most of them just put their heads down and go to work.

[B]

Yeah. A lot of them in the past couple years were crying that they weren't getting enough superhero, multi million dollar roles. Yeah, some of them were doing a little bit of that. Yeah. So, yeah, so that's. That's where we are. That's where we are right now. And then, dude, think about how crazy it is, how quick it happened.

[A]

Right?

[B]

That's the thing.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

It's how fast it happened. You're talking about in our lifetime. They went from, like, Nothing to number two, creeping on number one in essentially, yes. 40 years, four decades. You look at their cities now, you're like, how did they even build that that fast? Right?

[A]

The only actual way that we can beat them is to get them to get as many Chinese people. This is the way that we're going to win. You get as many Chinese people here as you can. You just make them fat.

[B]

You just got to do that.

[A]

You just pump up. You pump up, like their foie gras. You just pump these up, pump up their livers, get them fat, get them addicted to drugs. That's the American way. And that's how we'll beat them. That is the only way. Because in China, they're not doing drugs and they're not getting fat. But when they come here, they get on drugs and they get fat. And China is pumping fentanyl into our system. It's what it is.

[B]

Yeah. We need to do also national, we need to do a massive exported propaganda campaign of Domino's, of Pizza Hut.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because the kids cannot digest cheese.

[A]

Get it out.

[B]

They got A whole nation having diarrhea. You know what they're not doing?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're not on the computer spreading information.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're not flying in the sky as drones.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

They're not planning to attack the west coast of America.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're having diarrhea constantly because the kids don't have the enzymes to digest cheese.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So we got to get them liking cheese.

[A]

That's the way that we can win as Americans, as our superpowers. We make people fat.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

If you want to beat India, same thing. They got all these cows that keep them sacred. Create something that there's actually new God out there that says you got to eat the cows. If you want to get into Indian heaven, whatever that is, and get them fat, get them pumped up with antibiotics and hormones and then we'll beat them.

[B]

And you know how they do. You use the technology that they did to bring Tupac back and put him on stage. What's that called?

[A]

The hieroglyphic hologram.

[B]

They put a hologram. Vishnu with all the arms.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. You take Akash, you put him in a suit.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

Put him in a suit, in a Halloween costume, you float them over the skies of Delhi. And he goes, I'm Vishnu. With all his arms.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he goes, guys, new. New message from Harley. Krishna. I don't know who their God is. Yes, right.

[A]

That's him.

[B]

New. New guy from the Elephant Man.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah. They're God. I don't know. The Elephant Man.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So the Elephant man says, guys, these cows, it's time to start eating them.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And then you cook them in burgers. You get McDonald's in there and you get these guys fucking unsaturated fats. You blow them up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hard conditions. Cheese. It's cheese and beef. Let's go.

[A]

It's what it is because it's what you do.

[B]

We got to do all the work for the fucking government. We really do have to do all the work for.

[A]

The CIA can just start beating people. It's because it's a German American way. That's what we do. You get them fat. You got the Chinese fat. You get the Indians fat. We got. How we got the Greeks. We have. Yeah. Getting inbred just like the acidic Jews. And then we got them going now. And now we got them out. So that's what we got to do, folks. Okay? The only way the Americans can win is this way, if you listen to us. Because make no mistake, and I feel bad saying it But I think at this point, because the writing is on the wall, the Chinese writing is on.

[B]

The wall, and it's very difficult to do it. Why does. Why does their writing just look like a crossword puzzle?

[A]

I have no idea what it is. They're drawing little houses. Y. I don't know what it is.

[B]

It's really difficult.

[A]

I don't know what it is. But the houses look cute.

[B]

They do look cute. They're nice little houses and sticks and twigs and all.

[A]

That's what it is. And make no mistake, they're buying each one of their letters in cash.

[B]

Yeah, that's what it is. So.

[A]

So. But I think that the writings on the wall, we should just team up with them now. We shouldn't make them an enemy at all. Trump shouldn't even be doing the tariffs, nothing. We should just team up and make one big super country with them, like Russia is doing with North Korea and invading Ukraine. We should just come together and just pick a place to invade whoever you want to go after.

[B]

We have to really side with them because then they won't side with r Russia, and that'll slow Russia down, because now they're supporting Russia, they're kind of looking at what's going on in Ukraine, and I think they're looking at, as a test go, like, okay, what's NATO's reaction going to be if we take Taiwan? Because that's what they're looking at. They're seeing Russia take Ukraine. They're going, that's what we want to do with Taiwan. How are they going to react?

[A]

Right.

[B]

And so I think that's a big reason that. Of why we're doing what we're doing that a lot of people don't mention. And I heard it here first.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think it's basically, you know, how we dropped the bomb on Japan, kind of like, did we need to. Did we not right.

[A]

To show Russia that we're dominant. Yeah.

[B]

So I think doing with the Ukraine is. We're showing China, which is actually the bigger threat than Russia. We're showing China like, hey, you try to take Taiwan, we're going to resist.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is what we're going to do. You're going to be in a protracted war. We're going to fund them, and so it's not worth your time. Also, we're going to start making the microchips here anyway, so just leave Taiwan. And Taiwan's going, whoa, whoa, whoa. But we like to make. And we're going, look, you're part. You're A pawn in a bigger story here.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

It's. It's the boys. Boys first. The Chinese.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

You don't have to hit the button. Chinese people.

[A]

The Chinese, Yeah.

[B]

Chinese people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just the glorious Chinese people.

[A]

Yeah. And by the way, the Chinese army is boys and girls. It's every. It's. It's all of them.

[B]

Every girl's in there.

[A]

Everyone.

[B]

Boys. Are they in there?

[A]

They're in there big time.

[B]

Yeah. Who do you think's got the best lady boys?

[A]

Thailand.

[B]

Thailand does.

[A]

Number one.

[B]

Because they got darker skin.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're kind of like the. Kind of. To me, they look Latina.

[B]

Yeah. And here's the thing. The reason why they have the advantage in the lady boys market.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is because they're hairless.

[A]

Truly. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, they're. They're hairless without the estrogen.

[A]

Yeah. They don't have it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So they're halfway there and they don't have enzymes in them where they smell bad. They don't smell. They aren't never smell.

[B]

They never smell.

[A]

Yeah. That's a big Korean thing.

[B]

So that. That's why the Asian lady boys are just superior to a. Because you're going to get a European, you're going to get a German lady boy. She's just going to have a CRO Magnum forehead like, you could never be a lady boy. But I can't. Yeah.

[A]

You can't.

[B]

Yeah. Because I got a nice smooth lady's face. Like Joe Rogan said, I get knocked out quick.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

You got a better job?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He looked.

[A]

If that episode ever. Has it come out yet?

[B]

No.

[A]

Have we seen if it's come out yet? No. We'd be getting text if it's out. Yeah. So, yeah, we just, we, we. You know, there's. I don't know, you know what else.

[B]

The Chinese are doing, cuz. Yeah, they're. And Jesse knows this because he studies the Chinese.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why does Jesse study the Chinese so much?

[B]

Because he likes. He likes ethnic groups. Girls.

[A]

He does. But his girl is not Chinese.

[B]

No. That's what you do. That's what the Italians do.

[A]

Right.

[B]

They. They marry a woman like Ma. He needed somebody who could cook a sauce.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And his wife would cook a sauce.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you get. You get fantasy gourmets.

[A]

Yeah. It's what it is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

His are Chinese.

[B]

His are all immigrant.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, if you went through his Rolodex, there's not one white lady in there. It's Much like yours.

[A]

It's what it is. His. His. His fantasies look like the dmv. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It looks like a community college brochure.

[A]

What it is. Yeah, Yeah.

[B]

I mean, he does not like anything white. White. Yeah. The darker the better. Yeah. That's what Jesse goes. He's like, dude, Dominican. Yeah. He get lost. Yeah, you just get lost in it.

[A]

You get.

[B]

Yeah, but what they did, this is another sneaky thing they did, is they're lending out a lot of money like they did. I think they're trying to, like, build these trade routes by buying up these ports. And the way they do it is they lend money. They did it in Greece with the. The Peras, I think. So they let Greece. The money when they.

[A]

When the.

[B]

Greece was down on the. Its luck, and then Greece couldn't pay it back. So they said, guess what? Yeah, we don't need to pay it back. It's just ours now.

[A]

That's what they do with the Congo for the cobalt mines. They lent in the money. They said, you know what? Forget about it. We're just going to take the cobalt.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And the Congo can't do anything.

[B]

That's what they're doing. This is Belt and Road Initiative. The Belt and Road Initiative. It's part of their foreign policy to.

[A]

It's smart.

[B]

Put forth their influence, their economic influence, their cultural influence. They're. They're trying to do what we've done, right? They're trying to do what we've done. They're trying to push their culture. They're trying to push their economic power.

[A]

Them. Then why do we have to make them an enemy? Why not? Let's just. Let's just be on the same side.

[B]

Because we found out, I think, that they say they want cooperation, but they're doing another thing, right? They're doing another thing, right?

[A]

They want kids. Gigi, Ping. The president now, he's. He's like a dictator, right? He's never going to leave.

[B]

And, you know, I hear all these pundits. It's so funny. And sometimes they're comedians, Canadians, you know, sometimes. And they make their money by, you know, their punditry. And sometimes they do stand up or whoever they may be. You hear them a lot of times take the side of Putin and stuff. Not by saying, I support Putin. They always go, he's a bad guy, whatever. But he's going, like, what are we doing in Ukraine? Whatever. And it's like, I don't know. I don't know if it's good. I don't love that we're sending a lot of money there. I don't love that either. But there's got to be a reason. There's got to be some sort of national security reason that we're doing, doing it beyond the profits. Maybe, maybe it's just profits. I don't know. Don't get on me. But if you do just put in the comments and start a war because it's good for engagement.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

But my point is, is like they, they go, Putin doesn't want more.

[A]

Right.

[B]

He doesn't want more. It's going like, oh, oh. So Putin's the only guy who's just happy with a little. Right. Unlike all the rest of us.

[A]

Right.

[B]

The no end to up rest of us. What do you, what do you think dictators personality is? You think they're satisfied ever? Look at history. What's the type of personality that becomes a dictator? A guy who doesn't want to stop going up, doesn't want more and more and more land.

[A]

Right.

[B]

We don't do that, to be honest with you. The red, white and blue doesn't do that. We do it a little bit. We do it with influence and stuff. Yeah, but we go into countries and we leave them. When's the last time America has taken any land?

[A]

No, we left Afghanistan.

[B]

We left them all countries.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, we make sure that they're.

[A]

We are about to. Trump wants to buy Greenland.

[B]

He wants Greenland. I mean, because he wants Canada.

[A]

He wants Canada because buying Greenland is funny. But there must be. I wonder if he's pulling a Chinese move and there's a resource in Greenland that we don't know about yet. And then we're going to own something that we really need in 20 years.

[B]

Guys, you want to hear something? And we could do another episode on it, but I'll just do a little sneak preview here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At some point Greenland was offered to the Zionists. For how much less problems would we have?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If that was just called Frisbee Land. Yeah. If it just.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The Middle East.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They put them in Greenland. But you know what it was, you know, the Jews, they went there and they went. Are you kidding me?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is way too cold.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I am not dealing with this. The weather's horrible. I went there. It's, it's not like Florida. The place we got to go has got to be like Florida.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I can't deal with this weather. And we haven't figured out how is.

[A]

Marty going to get to his appointments on the ice, he can't get to there.

[B]

It's too cold outside. It's too depressing. Gh. It's a whole thing. There's no Chinese there for the restaurants on Christmas.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm just not doing it. Yeah, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm stuck going to do it. That's all.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

But how much better would things be?

[A]

When did they offer them Greenland?

[B]

At the same time it was offered as one of the places they could. There was another place in Africa they would have went, yeah. I mean, why? Yeah, it's just because of the weather. And they go, look, we haven't figured out the way yet. Control the weather.

[A]

Yeah, we could.

[B]

Now they're looking back and they go, we probably should have went to Greenland because we could have controlled it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We could have made more sun happen with our space lasers. Yeah, yeah. But that's a real thing. We should probably do it.

[A]

We'll do an episode on that. We'll do an episode on that because we're going to do a Patreon on a wild guy. What's that guy's name? Oh, oh, the guy that you sent me. Hold on. This is what we're.

[B]

Maybe we'll do a full episode on him.

[A]

We should do a full episode. Here's.

[B]

Those guys are fun.

[A]

The Patreon is either going to be about this guy nikotop us, who talked open shit to the Muslims back in the day. I mean, wild things probably, right?

[B]

That should probably go on the page.

[A]

Let's go on Patreon, because he's outwardly taking Muhammad's name in vain, which you cannot do. You will get killed for that.

[B]

The Greek guy. Yeah. During the revolution. Yeah.

[A]

Or if our Joe Rogan episode is out, we're going to do a play by play of the Joe Rogan episode. Because a lot of stuff happened behind the scenes and during the show that got wild that we just can't say on YouTube because if he hears it, he's never going to invite us back on.

[B]

That's right. That's right. So we'll figure that out. But either way, it's to be a. As Chris would say, a fun, fun, fun time.

[A]

Fun, fun, fun time. We're going to continue this [e-mail] history right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, folks, if you want to patreon.com history, we're going to read your name again. Winner of the funniest name gets the PPW pseudo peanuts of the week. Welcome to the matriarchy. These are our new members. Daniel Stevenson, Jacob Stein. Bo Asberger. Chris Whitmer. Andy P. Gringo. Andrew Dunning, Matthew Bullard. Then we got when the glue hit your eye like a piece by your thigh. That's Fumare.

[B]

Put him on the list.

[A]

That's on the list. Just got catapulted onto the list.

[B]

And shout out to Gringo for a chicken finger.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then we got Tampa's finest steakhouse. Glory Hole. Yeah.

[B]

Drexler. Really good one.

[A]

Drexler. Means you were close. You didn't make it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then we got Foley's Ozempic needle.

[B]

Very good. Drexler. Yeah.

[A]

Vaseline, vasel. The $3 Billy. Oh, vaseline. Vasily. The $3 Billy. Sorry.

[B]

Damn good. These are three good Drexlers in a row.

[A]

Jacked Doebox Boy. Then we got Omar Gafor. Then we got Shlomi. I only paid for the $5 tier due to my religious beliefs.

[B]

Goldstein put him on the list for the Funny Factor.

[A]

Then we got Palestinian parking lot attendant.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Good one. But that's interesting. We got an Israeli. A Jew, and back to back, they're always out.

[B]

We bring everyone together.

[A]

That's it. Beautiful.

[B]

Through comedy.

[A]

Then we got Doc Chase Nemeth, Darnell Hawkins. Then we got Fanooki, Cookie.

[B]

Chicken Finger.

[A]

Chicken finger. Then we got Jose Angel Valadez. Then we got Jerry Curl Jews.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Good. Anthony, Nikita Jardim, Marissa, Jake Morgan. Then we got Jewish Community Center, Memphis.

[B]

Okay, okay. That could be just. That could be. That could be screwed in.

[A]

Okay. Then we got Glue Gun. Leans to the left. But not the political views. Leave the statues alone.

[B]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, that was a good one. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then we got Throat Clogger, llc.

[B]

That's a chicken finger. And a Drexler. Yeah, yeah. Very funny.

[A]

Andrew. Colin Davis. Then we got Crumb Cakes. Kevin. Yeah. Then we got Kevin Mitchell. Then we got Pete It Deep in my Buddha.

[B]

Okay. Okay. K. Drexler.

[A]

Then we got Blake Harvey. Then we got Sal Volcano's downstairs neighbor. Jesus Christ is loud. It's loud.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I don't know what that means. Okay, Johnny Clements. Then we got Peace. Good deals on wheels.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Chris Ratigan. Then we got. I can't read this one. That's their name.

[B]

It's invented. Texler for just the funny of that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Invention.

[A]

Then we got Chris Ackerman. Then we got Bobby Lee's Homemade Prolapse Noodles.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Okay. Then we got. My ex had a mean. Not mean. Ladder 14 piece inside of her when I walked in. It's just what it is.

[B]

You walked in his chick begging a black guy. Put him on the list, the rhyme scheme and. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Then we got Little Squeak, Benjamin Brandon Wong Temple.

[B]

Little Squeak gets a chicken finger.

[A]

Little sweet chicken, because that's a double.

[B]

Double. He's a real small guy.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then we got Way Sean Sheehan Gillis. Good one Way Sean, Shane Gillis.

[B]

Yeah. Drexler.

[A]

Then we got P. Diddy, the baby oil fiend trying to make a Puerto Rican cream. Drexler Chips Malloy, J.K. b. Stans, 94. Jayden Dukich, Brett Jordan, Joe Biden, Jason Giovanni Daza, Fumala Harris. We've had that. Daniel lebron. Vinny Spazzali.

[B]

Vinny Spazzali. How you doing? My family's got a plumbing company.

[A]

What it is. Then we got Daniel Campana. Mace.

[B]

Can we do, like, a Sauce Monkey Award? Just a shout out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sauce Monkey Awards?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, the other guy.

[A]

Oh, Vinnie Spazali.

[B]

Yeah. Vinnie Spazali wins the Sauce Monkey Award.

[A]

Yeah. You won?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just for being a grease ball.

[B]

We'll have a Pollock Award, a Jew Award and a sauce maker word for regular names that just deserve a shout out.

[A]

Yeah. Then we got Mace Banavi. He put the Indian flag. Then we got Lewis, bo boyd, stinky McPoopoose. Cracking open and cleaning out my shame cave. Shame cave. Interesting. Then we got Jacob. The Bargazi episode is wild and doesn't get talked about enough. Can't sco.

[B]

Yeah, that was a contentious episode.

[A]

I don't remember that one.

[B]

You weren't there for that one. It was just me and Nate.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. It got wild.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Me and him were old friends and we would, you know.

[A]

Is this recent?

[B]

No, this was a long time ago. This is when he was starting to pop. But make no mistake, if we had him on again, the episode would not be that way. It would be like. Nate.

[A]

Yeah. Hi.

[B]

No, he's still a good friend.

[A]

Jeff, kg, Brian Ailing, Zack Safey, Kyle Jacobson, Chrissy Seaman, Demon Joe, Ray Gonzalez, Cutler, Finch, Abby, Jeffrey, Mason, Shivari, Brandon, Victor. Someone get me a Blue Chew. Chrissy, kiss me in Poughkeepsie and say that you miss me.

[B]

List, list, list. You list.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

It. Yeah.

[A]

Cal Anderson, Jackson Schumacher, Mason M. Carson, quinn, J. Dog, 14. Coulter, Komlovsky, Bluechew, Benny. Father Bill's Homemade Rocket.

[B]

Bluechew Benny's Fight. Those are two chicken figures. Okay.

[A]

Sarah Zatar, SV1 situation with the Father Bill. Three second pump, glue gun dump. SL K S, Joe Smith, Dylan Bonfire. Making Chrissy Bussy Lucy until it's Nancy Pelosi. Okay.

[B]

It's a good attempt.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Aria goes all Ike Duffy, Billy Garcia, Gonzalo Munoz. Then we got Beat My meat to Yanni P's feet in 16th Chapel.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Drexler, Louis Perez. Then we got Tom. My skin flute smells like Chrissy's poop chute. Holman.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Okay, Got close.

[B]

Drexler close.

[A]

So we got Fume so bad the fur called for tips.

[B]

Draxler.

[A]

Then we got Chrissy. Chrissy D. Fat Twinkie tits. Matina De Medis, Zach Zefanov, Brian Hamilton, Christine Asensio. Then we got Mommy says Stavi's baby is my new daddy. Then we got married. A girl with a big ass and no rack. So I could pretend it's Chrissy D when I hit it from the back. It's what it is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

List you're on.

[B]

Yeah. No clear contenders yet.

[A]

Not yet. Which is good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Andre Aspand. Lick. Pachoni Cucker Spaniel.

[B]

That's a chicken finger.

[A]

Yes. Then we that chicken finger. Then we got Akash's. Akash Singh's spin off show, the Fragrant podcast.

[B]

If he was Asian, it would. Yeah.

[A]

South Asian. Yeah.

[B]

Indians this. Suppose the stereotypes, they smell. He's fragrant, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Put him on the list. Yeah.

[A]

Think about it.

[B]

Yeah. Whoa. That's a goodie. And now we got a contender.

[A]

Then we got Seth Nuttle. Then we got Gage the Ginger with a not so big wiener. Garfield Lasagna, Eric Junkman, East Harlem Drunk Driver, Wardo. Then we got 90% WOP, 10% cleanup ass.

[B]

That's great. Chicken figure.

[A]

Yeah. Then we got come Cuzla Lynn Harris, Victor Seek. Then we got Montenegrin cutie with fumes so broody they can take use physically with Ladder 14 off my booty.

[B]

Oh, I just want to say to you. Jessimala. Guessala.

[A]

Guessala.

[B]

Josh Yaka Dobr Kakos.

[A]

Alessandro Lucalano, Willam Noah Gi Han, German Yanni. But I tell people I'm Hungarian. Nicholas David Cashmere Cameron, Amanda, Philly, Dilly, Licky, My Willie. Kevin Weiss, Trent, Mark Forosh, Thomas Leak, Jr. Jorge.

[B]

Okay, walked into one.

[A]

Walked into one. Sorry.

[B]

Yeah, walked into one. Yeah. Security.

[A]

Sorry about that.

[B]

Security.

[A]

Brad Bera, Hot Tuna. Esteban Esque, Rob Baker, Jake Haddon, Conrad Marco. Took you FFs long enough. Rodrigue. Shane's Reddit account. Whatever happened to the Love Sack? Justin. Justin. Yeah. I know. I actually. I gave it to Otis. Otis has it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Jack McGuire.

[B]

You want to put a black light on that thing? Yeah.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. When me and Jasmine got back together, that was the first thing that got moved.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She said this is out of here.

[B]

Yeah. There's a lot of talk of things that happened on that.

[A]

Yep. Can't have it. So what can you do? Josh Holtz. Nick. Nick Jacobs. Michael DeCaro. Aaron Hipp. AR guy. Joshua Winters. Adam Starlina, Zachary Story. Mark S. Odell. Saw we not sawy. Okay, okay.

[B]

Walked into 1Y. Well, we just did a whole episode.

[A]

Yes, that's what it is.

[B]

A chicken figure.

[A]

Chicken figure. Then we got Fat cuck in need of Jesse's fingers.

[B]

List.

[A]

List, buddy. Jesse likes to sculpt fat people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then we got Celine Rodriguez. Then we got Tyler. Welcome back, huzzies. Thank you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

James Byrne. Chad Rosenblum. Jacob Gill. Daniel Tambini. Hunter Goode. Colin Coyle, Renee Boyle. Jimmy Jeter. Lost Child. Sab. Daddy's been a. Oh, Daddy's been a bad girl. Okay. Phil B. Brandon Williams. Joe McGreedy. Stevie Punjabs. Alejandro Garcia. Sam Oxley Burns. Matt Miss Judgmental, Sammy Sauce Monkey. Gabriel Solorio.

[B]

Welcome, guys.

[A]

Welcome.

[B]

Straight to the backs. A lot of straight to the back.

[A]

I like that. Then we got Gabriel Torres. AI Wrote us Chrissy cum slut. Then we got Witch Hazel in my bagel.

[B]

Chicken finger.

[A]

Chicken finger. Jay. Then we got my. My bull moose. Knuckle wants Chrissy Papa's butthole. Okay. Jason Minning, Harley Coates. Hillary C. And Donnie T. Had a kid. It was me. Ladder 14.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

Adam Lazaro, Canada Ducket. Okay. Amy Mandriesque, Kristen Nothing. Kirsten Nothing. Brad Clower, Yannis Kamalto. Harris is showing camel toe. We spelled it like Kamala. Okay. Ty Tang, Eric Erickson. Shane ABP Chico Bandito. Robert Newman. Andrew. Not a fan of Yanni. Unions. Carl Carnegie.

[B]

Not a fan of unions.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay. Bruce Gill. Then we got Fumari Cooper, wide receiver for the Buffalo $3 bills.

[B]

Drexler Strong. Drexler.

[A]

Yeah. Then we got Rub your frank on my beans before you crack me open. Chicken finger Tiger. Then we got George Washy. Had no party. But he had sleeve teeth. But he had slave teeth. Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Close. Harry D. Kurt P. Stiff Pecker 69. Brian Mack. Matt. Okay, we'll do a few more. Oliver Nabavian. Come a lot, Horace. Matt Buckley.

[B]

Wait. Come a lot. Harris is good. Let's just get chicken.

[A]

Okay. Chicken figure. Come a lot. Harris. Yeah, yeah. The Dale. Then we got Mitchie White Bean Benitez. Then we got. Thought I was Italian, but 23 and me said I was Leroy. Okay.

[B]

Wow, that's tough for the family.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For Italians.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then we got Daniel D. Lewis. Then we got Elon's Population Paste will save the Martian race. Okay, Population paste is good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Sorry about that. Then we got Joe Biden. Shower Drain.

[B]

Funny. Chicken finger.

[A]

Blake Weinstein. Ban Twist. Then we got Frank Ciprian.

[B]

Wait right there. You got the. You got the Frisbee award. Blake Weinstein.

[A]

Blake Weinstein got the Frisbee award. Ben Twice. Frank Cyprian, Ethan Oja, Kurt Widman, Matthew Jameson, Zach Massey, Matthew Griner. Then we got Albanian. Grim Reaper. Deeper into Chrissy D's Anal Zipper. Okay. Josh Peck, Michael Sheehan. Chris Papa's voting ballot. Okay. Ben Hickman, Graham Marsh, Daniel Finnan, Kyle. Straight to the back. How about come on my back? Okay.

[B]

Drex. Drex. Drexler. Drexler.

[A]

Matthew Carpenter. Samantha. Matthew Mulrooney. Chris. Jack Ruby. Oh, wow. Jack Ruby.

[B]

Killer Back from the dead.

[A]

Nico Ruiz, Dave Noemi Soto. Ben Schnar. Then we got Fumar, the Frisbee Zuckerberg.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

John C. Dempsey, Kristen Escarga. Samuel Marshall, Skyler Oliveira, lou G. Rafi D'Souza. Franken. Logan Negley, Mike Izzy, Kristen Belsky. Then we got Vivek Ramswami. Offends. Amy Hammers. Mommy. Army Hammer's mommy. Sorry. Watching laser beam drag race like a ff Chrissy lets Lincoln do it in the Buddha Chedge. Dustin Morris. Then we got Uncle Russell's.

[B]

Put him on the list.

[A]

Put him on the list. Because it's a cat joke.

[B]

Put it on the list. That has two.

[A]

Yeah. It's a double entendre.

[B]

Double entendre. And we got a contender.

[A]

Yeah. Milkman. Then we got full time follower.

[B]

They walked into one.

[A]

That's it. Yeah. Tim Dillon's burp cloth.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Okay. Alex Perez, Jonathan Osorio. Justin Ferrara, James Fasili. Jerry. Colleen O'Reilly. Sid. And then let's see. Okay, let me just read these. Then we got Father Bill. Made me sound like RFK J. I feel like we had that.

[B]

We had a better version of that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who almost won last week. Yeah.

[A]

Then we got Looking like misters. The Menendez sisters. Giving my dick blisters from giving it twisters.

[B]

Drexler. Good, though.

[A]

Okay. Oh, Tim Dillon's calling me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Then we got told Stefano the barber. Gimme the Chrissy. And I walked out of Panache speaking German. It's what it is.

[B]

Wow. He remembers Panache.

[A]

Panache.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Father Bill seen Giannis Wein and Chrissy's Bean. Lot of force.

[B]

14. Good rhyme scheme, Drexler.

[A]

Then we got Ladder 14. Underwhelm her. Glue Gun My own face. I'm Elmer. Okay, okay. Then we got Baddie with the bald cap. Then we got Twink for the table. Save My Wishbone for the kids.

[B]

It's what it is, Drexler.

[A]

Okay. Then we got All Balls. Tim Walls. Micro Glue Gun. Then we got Tampa Tony's leftover tuna sandwich.

[B]

It's a good one. Chicken Finger.

[A]

Then we got the 2 inch clit sex Monster Monkey.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Then we got Baron Von Fuckenstein chicken figure. Then we got Anthony. One eighth ginzo aqua fresca.

[B]

Chicken figure.

[A]

Then we got. January 6th was a character piece. Latin 14.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Then we got Come to Australia Already. Chrissy. D U F. Okay. Then we got Pete. I like it. Deep in the Booty Fudge.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

We got Iron Ran Job. Jordan Esteban. Then we got Chrissy. Super Sperm Spawned a Situation. Situation. Then we got Uncle Touchy's Puzzle basement. Then we got.

[B]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Uncle Touchy's puzzle basement?

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

That means that the. The pedophile uncles got sort of a game room for the kids.

[A]

Hey, what do we think?

[B]

So we're gonna put him on the list.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

Then we got Chrissy.

[B]

I dare I say contender.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then we got Chrissy Bitchitz. And here we got a contender for the Italian Sauce Monkey Award. Ricky Rapper.

[B]

Yeah, there you go.

[A]

Runner up, Vanilla Thunder. Then we got banged out $3 father bill. Chris Schroeder. AO let me see your asshole. Leroy Drexler. Okay. Jesse Hart. Ryan Young. Then we got Matt. Half white, half Mexican, full blown aids.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Drexler.

[B]

Okay, funny. Drexler.

[A]

Good, funny. Drexler. Okay, so here's the list. Here's what we have to go to for the list. We have.

[B]

Just say this.

[A]

We have no true contender right now.

[B]

Contenders. Really? And I gotta say, compared to previous, I don't mean to insult anyone, but this one didn't bring the heat because there's no clear contenders.

[A]

No clear.

[B]

Which can be fun.

[A]

There was. There was none of them that really stopped at all. But thank you for good efforts. And by the way, you could also always go back and change your name. I believe you can.

[B]

Yeah. And like my dad used to say, no Showstoppers, no show. No show.

[A]

But that's okay.

[B]

That's okay.

[A]

That's okay. Because, hey, we go up, we go down. It's life's a roller coaster, folks.

[B]

Well, this makes the competition fun.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

A lot of times you just know who's going to win.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, so we got Uncle Touchy's puzzle basement contender still in the race. Okay, I'm circling him. Still in the race.

[B]

Contender.

[A]

Okay, then we got Uncle Russell's contender Contender. So he is being circled as right now. So these. Then we have. Okay, so then we have fat cuck in need of Jesse's fingers.

[B]

I'm going to direct. Slur it.

[A]

Okay, so they're out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so then we got Kiss me in Poughkeepsie and say that you miss me.

[B]

I love that one, but I'm gonna direct.

[A]

Okay, then we got Akash Singh spin off show the Fragrant podcast contender. Contender. So we're circling them.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Then we got married a girl with a big ass and no rack. So I could pretend it's Chrissy D when I hit it from the back.

[B]

It's what it is Any other day.

[A]

Any other day. So they are out. So we got here. So then we have. When the glue hits your eye like a pizza pie by your thigh, that's fumare.

[B]

I hate to do it because that is a goodie. But Drexler.

[A]

They're out. Okay. Sorry about that. And then we got Schlomi. I only paid for the five dollar tier due to my religious beliefs. Goldstein.

[B]

Hilarious. But it's being Drexler Doubt.

[A]

Then we got glue gun leans to the left. But not the political views. Leave the statues alone.

[B]

Drexler. Any Truly on any other day.

[A]

But it's.

[B]

Yeah, I forget. There are some good ones here.

[A]

Yeah, but then we had my ex had a mean namine ladder 14 piece inside of her when I walked. Walked in. It's just what it is.

[B]

It's just what it is that happens. You'd be a Drexler. But on any other day. Again, another good one.

[A]

So then. Okay, we know it is between these three. Akash Singh's spin off show, the Fragrant podcast, Uncle Russell's or Uncle Touchy's puzzled basement.

[B]

Okay, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. Drexler. Akash.

[A]

Okay, so you're out. Akash. So now it is between Uncle Russell's and Uncle Touchy's puzzle base.

[B]

That. All right. I got a clear cut winner here.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. I want to give a shout out to Uncle Russell's for the double entendre. Yeah, I do.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But I the puzzle basement is just very inventive.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And so for me, it's puzzle basement.

[A]

So congratulations to the PPW. You can see your name at history hyenas is back.com Uncle Touchy's puzzle basement. Thank you so much. Come see us January 18th live show show Washington D.C. lincoln Theater. Go to history I knew is back.com for those ticky wiki.

[B]

Yeah. And go to giannispapascomedy.com for dates coming up in Cleveland, in Chicago, in Philadelphia, in Missouri and whatever else is up there.

[A]

Giannispappiscomedy.com and they're also your dates are also up at history hyenas is back.com that's right. Go to that one as well.

[B]

Make it easy. Go get the January 18th and go get whatever you want.

[A]

That's what it is, folks. And I will be in San Francisco in February. And then we've added Tampa and Orlando in March and then March 3rd and Tampa, Orlando, March 14th, 15th, then March 30th, Providence, Rhode Island. All those shows at history and is his back.com or Christy comedy.com we love.