Cloning Humans?

Summary

Summary of "Cloning Humans?" Episode of History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas

In the "Cloning Humans?" episode of History Hyenas, released on January 9, 2025, comedians Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas dive into the fascinating and controversial world of human cloning. Blending historical insights with their signature humor, the duo explores the scientific advancements, ethical dilemmas, and societal implications surrounding the possibility of cloning humans.

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1. Introduction to Cloning and Personal Anecdotes

The episode kicks off with the hosts humorously discussing the societal perceptions of men taking on roles traditionally associated with women, such as paternity leave. Chris jokes about the nervous system's confusion over evolving gender roles, leading into the topic of cloning as a hyperbolic solution to male identity crises.

Notable Quote:

Chris: "Why are we men taking paternity leave? We don't need to be on paternity leave. That's what women do."
[01:25]

2. Historical Milestones in Cloning

Chris and Yannis trace the origins of cloning experiments, highlighting significant milestones:

• Early Experiments: They discuss the first cloning attempts with sea urchins and frogs in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

• Dolly the Sheep: The conversation shifts to Dolly, the first successfully cloned mammal in 1996, emphasizing the breakthrough and subsequent ethical debates it sparked.

Notable Quote:

Yannis: "In 1996, Dolly the sheep became the first successfully cloned mammal."
[39:57]

3. Modern Cloning Technologies and CRISPR

The hosts delve into contemporary advancements in cloning and gene editing, particularly focusing on CRISPR technology. They discuss its potential to not only eliminate genetic disorders but also to enhance human capabilities.

Notable Quote:

Chris: "CRISPR is where they edit genes just a little bit to make you whatever they want to make you."
[23:38]

Yannis adds humorously skeptical views on the feasibility and ethical boundaries of such technologies, questioning the reality of super soldiers being engineered in countries like China.

Notable Quote:

Yannis: "Why wouldn't they? What exists that nobody has used, even nuclear bombs..."
[13:42]

4. Ethical Concerns and Societal Impact

Chris and Yannis engage in a lively discussion about the ethical implications of human cloning. They explore concerns such as:

• Identity and Individuality: The potential psychological effects on clones who may struggle with their sense of self.

• DNA Privacy: The ramifications of ubiquitous DNA data in a world where cloning is possible, leading to concerns over privacy and misuse.

Notable Quote:

Yannis: "If you step anywhere in somebody's property... you're going to have to do it in a Hazmat suit."
[14:31]

5. Cloning in Popular Culture and Speculation

The hosts draw parallels between cloning in scientific discourse and its portrayal in popular culture. They humorously speculate on whether contemporary figures like LeBron James could be genetically edited or cloned to achieve exceptional athletic prowess.

Notable Quote:

Chris: "You gotta say, 'Is the cloned super soldier still going to squat down and have their asshole half an inch off the floor when they smoke a cigarette?'"
[23:25]

6. The Raelian Movement and Human Cloning

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to exploring the Raelian Movement—a group that advocates for human cloning as a path to immortality. Chris and Yannis provide an overview of Raelian beliefs, including:

• Extraterrestrial Origins: The belief that humans were created by advanced alien scientists named Elohim.

• Cloning for Immortality: Raelians’ pursuit of cloning to achieve eternal life and establish a utopian society.

Notable Quote:

Yannis: "Claude says that humanity was created from the DNA of superior alien scientists named the Elohim."
[63:10]

They parody Raelism by introducing their own fictitious spin, "For the Table," lampooning the movement's emphasis on cloning and immortality with their characteristic irreverence.

7. Speculation on the Future of Cloning and AI

The conversation transitions to the potential future developments in cloning and artificial intelligence. The hosts humorously speculate about:

• Super Soldiers: Enhanced humans with superior physical and mental capabilities.

• Immortality: The possibility of eradicating aging through genetic modifications.

Notable Quote:

Yannis: "If they can figure out the smart stuff, they can crack the code to immortality and then we're there."
[50:45]

8. Humorous Interludes and Member Shout-Outs

True to their comedic style, Chris and Yannis intersperse the episode with personal jokes, witty banter, and playful interactions. They introduce segments like "pseudo penis of the week," where they read out amusing and creative names submitted by their Patreon members.

Notable Quote:

Yannis: "Yanni sees tits like a Venn diagram."
[93:05]

9. Conclusion and Encouragement for Further Research

Wrapping up the episode, the hosts encourage listeners to delve deeper into the subject of cloning, blending humorous insights with genuine curiosity about the future of genetic science.

Notable Quote:

Chris: "Ultimately, folks, what we learned about cloning is really... it's possible. It's probably happening, and you yourself might be a clone."
[72:18]

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Key Takeaways:

• Historical Evolution: Cloning has evolved from simple organisms to complex mammals, with Dolly the sheep marking a significant milestone.

• Technological Advancements: CRISPR and other gene-editing technologies hold immense potential but come with ethical and societal challenges.

• Ethical Concerns: Issues of identity, DNA privacy, and the moral implications of creating life artificially are paramount in the cloning debate.

• Cultural Reflections: Cloning's portrayal in media and its speculative applications, such as super soldiers, highlight societal hopes and fears.

• Raelian Influence: Movements like Raelism play a unique role in shaping public perceptions and advocacy for cloning, often intertwining with broader beliefs about humanity's origins and future.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Chris: "CRISPR is where they edit genes just a little bit to make you whatever they want to make you."
  [23:38]

• Yannis: "They know we're here. When they come to lock us up."
  [14:37]

• Chris: "You gotta say, 'Is the cloned super soldier still going to squat down and have their asshole half an inch off the floor when they smoke a cigarette?'"
  [23:25]

• Yannis: "Claude says that humanity was created from the DNA of superior alien scientists named the Elohim."
  [63:10]

• Chris: "Ultimately, folks, what we learned about cloning is really... it's possible. It's probably happening, and you yourself might be a clone."
  [72:18]

These quotes encapsulate the blend of humor and serious discussion that defines the episode, making complex scientific topics accessible and entertaining for listeners.

---

History Hyenas successfully navigates the intricate landscape of human cloning, using humor to engage listeners while prompting them to ponder the profound implications of genetic science. Whether you're a casual listener or a science enthusiast, this episode offers both laughs and food for thought.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Hello, everybody. Welcome to another glorious episode of the History Hyenas. Yes, we spell it with two H's. I am sitting here with my co host, who is also my co worker. We're at work.

[A]

Yes, this is work. This is what men do now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is a man's job.

[B]

Yeah. We picked up our lunch pills. We said to our wives, we're going to work. We're coming here to cursing the microphones.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And our nervous system just goes, when are you going to really work?

[A]

Yeah. Our nervous system doesn't know. They're like, where. Why are we not running away from tribes and animals? What are we doing? Why are we. Why are we men taking paternity leave? We don't need to be on paternity leave. That's what women do. I didn't do anything to create the baby. Yeah, but then a man will say, you know what? I need six weeks for me. And then the human brain says, okay, we're going to cut the penis off and become a woman. Then I guess. And then that's when you join the Penn State swim team.

[B]

That's why. That's exactly how it happened. Yeah, that's exactly the anatomy of that situation described perfect by a scientist who's a gender studies professor.

[A]

I am a professor.

[B]

You're a professor of gender studies. And that's exactly how it goes. And yeah, the nervous system is going, why are you even sitting down? Yes, women are supposed to be sitting down.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I guess like nobody who's male would ever have an anxiety attack if he sat down and started knitting. Cuz then the nervous system knows that's a woman.

[A]

It's what?

[B]

Supposed to be sitting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or if you're standing and then there's hot flames coming. She's cooking.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

It's what it is.

[A]

It's what it is. Because here's the truth.

[B]

Supposed to be running.

[A]

Here's the truth. I love my kids, you love your kids, but nature doesn't really want Us there. They want us just banging more women.

[B]

Yeah. And this is the situation.

[A]

Just edit that part out.

[B]

No. Because that's what nature wants. You're not saying no.

[A]

I'm a gender studies teacher at Yale.

[B]

You're talking from a position of authority being a gender studies professor.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you are absolutely right. Anatomically, the evil patriarchal anatomical answer is correct. What? You just said that a man has millions of seeds.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And he wants to spread them. Especially you. Yeah, especially you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Listen, you're a guy. This is why this podcast is serendipity for you, for me, for the world. Because you're a guy who knows and has always known from the first history tour you went on with your mom. Yeah, okay. A very organized, well, German history tour.

[A]

That's it. Yeah.

[B]

Your mom got the Times and you knew exactly what.

[A]

I knew what to do. And we went to the Amish country because my. My father, my good for nothing father, recorder, was in gambling debt and people were calling the house looking for their money and they said they were going to break my mom's legs and hurt little baby Christopher. So my mother took me on an Amtrak trip to the Amish country.

[B]

Yeah. That's going to develop a little anxiety. If you want to know where your anxiety comes from, it's because you and your mom were on the run.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

You were on the run.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

Gangsters who wanted to break little Christopher's legs.

[A]

And I got to be honest with you, the most comfy I felt all week is today dressed up like a Nick City dancer.

[B]

And here's the situation.

[A]

Cuz you got a zin in, I.

[B]

Got a Zen in. Right now you got a zit in. And here's the situation. That's what people do, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

They're zitters.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sitters. We're zitters.

[A]

That's not what I said, but that's what. You could clean it up a little bit. Say a zinner.

[B]

You said a zitter?

[A]

Yeah, I said a zinner.

[B]

Like a sitter. You meant like a sitter, but a zitter. That's. Yeah, yeah. Like, that's also why, thank God, they called him the Knicks. Yeah, that's. So you want to go, yeah, I'm going to see the Knicks. You don't want to go, say, I'm going to see the Knickers. Because you could easily say, I'm going to see. You could. You could have cut Knickerbocker. Yeah, yeah. But you didn't see. It's good that nobody did, because that nobody did.

[A]

And I got to be honest with you. People might get upset at this jokes, but make no mistake. We are professional comedians. We are stepping right up to the line and not crossing it. Look at me.

[B]

I'm on the balance. I'm on the circus performance.

[A]

What are we saying? We are on the ice, baby. We're skating, but we're doing a good job. And make absolutely no mistake, I said nothing wrong. I just had a fun word play with Zinn.

[B]

Yeah. And we're just in the wrong era because we're white guys. If we were doing this in the 1860s, they would be like, these are the most tame guys around.

[A]

It'd be amazing. I know.

[B]

They'd be like, well, they're just saying, here's the truth.

[A]

The truth of the situation is. This is.

[B]

I love when you tell me the truth of the situation.

[A]

The situation is this, folks, is I absolutely was born in the wrong era because I like to have fun. I like to spread the seed. Fun, fun, fun, fun. I like to run around. And you would say that, oh, well, I would thrive in the 1700s, 1800s, because you could just, you know, you could go to different fortune. You could go to different, you know, I'd be on the frontier, you know, banging, you know, Native American women, animals, whatever it is. Banging dudes. I mean, honestly, just.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know, whatever. Throwing on a bow and arrow and just having sex with a guy, whatever. But the truth is. The truth is, is that I wouldn't exist. I wouldn't. I wouldn't be happy in that era. And here's the reason why, is because the one thing that I need more than toots is sweets. And I can't live in a world without muffins. So for me, if you asked me to go back in time, the 1960s would be perfect. Sexually free. Do whatever you want, bang girls, bang guys, whatever you want to do. And also, muffins were invented.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So then that's where I'd like to go.

[B]

Perfect. That's a perfect scenario. Now, I wanted to just take us back to Amish country for a second, just to say, get back there. Your mom was taking you there because she was looking for an Amish guy. And you want to know why? Yeah. Because your dad was taking money, and she just wanted to date a guy who didn't have a concept of money.

[A]

That's what it was.

[B]

She wanted to go the opposite. Yeah, my mom wanted to date a guy who engaged in the barter system.

[A]

I was going to say, yeah, that's what it is. My mom wanted, like, a barter.

[B]

She likes a bar. She's like, get me as far away from money or the concept of debt as possible.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

You're Chrissy, Spin the wheel. And in history, you would have spun the wheel. Here's the situation. I'm also born in the wrong era because I sit around and I go, what do you think humor is? I philosophize all day and I think, and in. In ancient Greece and antiquity, I just. That would have been sexy. But now it's just a fucking long day for people who want to look at their phones and get to the next thing, they're going, what is this.

[A]

Guy talking about, Yanni? Long days. And make absolutely no mistake, when you said. When you started this podcast before we started, and you said, chris, what do you think humor is? Your penis went a little further inside your body because it doesn't realize that you're a man. It thinks you're a woman because you have a woman's brain.

[B]

Yeah. And that's. We're two guys born in the wrong era. I'm a philosopher from another era. And you have the urges and the desires of Genghis Khan.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But the personality of Lucille Ball. Yes. It's a strange mix. So you want to conquer and you want to create. I think Genghis Khan's responsible for, like, 13% of the DNA that's in the Eastern hemisphere or whatever. That would have been you, but you would have had to take a different approach.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because you can't. You don't have the heart to kill people unless that person is a dog and it's in your house and it barks too much.

[A]

It's what it is. Then that's gonna go down. Then what I do is I like to leave a little Clorox in the bowl.

[B]

That's what you like to do. Just to stop the barking. Because the barking was starting to give you instructions. Just like Son of Sam.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The dog started talking. You successfully, go get that toot. Chrissy, go get that. Chrissy, go get that what it is. And you said, I got to put this dog down.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

Because maybe your sweet's problem is because the dog was speaking to you. It could be that and you still remember.

[A]

And here's the truth. Bader Ginsburg. If we were alive in others, in other areas. Let's talk. Let's. Let's say that we were in the late 1700s, where French, you know, Pierre, where The Pink Panthers. We're pink. I'm Pink, you're Panther.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's what it is. We would absolutely. The King would have to behead us and kill us. 100%. We'd have. Because we would just be too wild. We throwing on women's corsets, running around, doing. Trying to do, you know, podcasts. You're smoking cigars. We're having anxiety. The French people can't have it. But here's what would absolutely happen is we would be there on the. On by the guillotine, and the whole crowd would be upset, the whole crowd back. But we like these guys. I want these guys. And even the Executioner would say, I. We have to do this.

[B]

Yeah, we have.

[A]

Wait, what's your name?

[B]

Made him Chinese. Right?

[A]

Hold on. Yeah, we have to do this.

[B]

We have to do this.

[A]

We have to do this.

[B]

But it has to happen.

[A]

But we love you. We love you. We're really big of fans.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But they would chop our heads off and Absolutely. When our heads are just spinning up and going down in that basket, we would go, yes. As it hit. And we would be legends.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

But we'd be dead.

[B]

That's half a truth. Bit of Ginsburg, because that's more of a fantasy in your head. Because the reality would be that the Executioner would try. He'd have to chop and chop and chop to get that helmet head off. Mine would go off just from putting it on the bottom of the guillotine. Yeah, yeah. My head would just go. And it would just roll right off, right up. Whereas they. They would have to have six dudes.

[A]

Six dudes. Yeah.

[B]

Chopping to get that fucking helmet. Yeah.

[A]

And as they were chopping, I would say, cuz, how's my hair?

[B]

Yeah, you're. Cuz your head looks like it has a head on.

[A]

Cuz make no mistake, I have bangs.

[B]

Yeah, you have bangs.

[A]

Cuz I'm coming in because I can't bang, so I'm doing bangs.

[B]

Yeah. Cuz you. Your hair is looking just. You're. You're more white.

[A]

I am.

[B]

You used to have like just the. The. The. The guido look. Now you're more white.

[A]

I've morphed into a white guy.

[B]

And you look like a German guy that just took off his helmet.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

I'm sorry. It's just the messiness of the hair. Just looks like a helmet came off. And then from the bottom down, you just look like the Knicks ball boy.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I look special needs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've been watching. And we're not going to talk about this today, but a future episode. I've been watching the Saints on Fox Nation. I watch a lot of Fox Nation.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

I've been watching Fox Nation. I got the app on my phone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I watched the Saints directed by Martin Scorsese.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We gotta do, first of all, a couple episodes. I want to do an episode on Joan of Arc because she was. Watch Wild. And I want to do an episode on Maximilian Colby.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you know him? The priest, Polish priest? No, that was killed in the Holocaust. But like, he, he, like, he, he. He's a saint, but he actually talked a lot. He was very anti Semitic, but then switched it around in the Holocaust and make. Yeah. This guy. And they are fascinating episodes. If you get a chance to go watch the Saints on. On Fox Nation, do it today. We are recording on January 6th. Are you going to be wanting to watch Fox Nation?

[B]

Yeah. And hopefully things are chill out there right now. And I would love to get Martin Scorsese in here if we. Should we get a booster seat for squeaks? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Should we start call. Should we call Debo again? Should we start doing that every week and getting the squeak of the week, maybe.

[B]

And maybe we'll have him on and just throw him into a fucking booster chair. Yeah, yeah. Just borrow one from a restaurant and say, listen, can we just bring this back a little while and just put the little booster chair right here and throw him in.

[A]

Well, thank God the football season's over because, I mean, I genuinely thought one of my friends was going to drop dead this year because, I mean, the Dolphins, they lost last night, so they are out of the playoffs and the jets season has finally ended. And I thought that Debo and Patty fly balls, I thought they were going to drop dead in Oneills because I mean, the way those kids would go out and drink and eat every night, every Sunday night that they've. They've survived yet another season.

[B]

Yeah. Or as the Irish like to call it, therapy. Yeah. That's what they do. Drink it every night watching the Jets. That's what they call therapy. That's a different.

[A]

Nice hand.

[B]

I do got nice hands and nice feet. I really do.

[A]

You do have, you know, you have good. You have good appendages.

[B]

Yeah. And you're.

[A]

I bite my nails.

[B]

Big nails. Look like they got caught in a machine.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I mean. Yeah, they're just chewed off.

[A]

It's what it is. Yeah. You. You talk to a therapist and take meds, and I just suck my fingers. So we got. We're getting to the same. We're getting to the same destination. She's taking different routes because.

[B]

You ever get nervous and throw a thumb in your mouth? Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And when I get really nervous, you know what I like to do?

[B]

Thumb in the butt. No.

[A]

Well, that. That. But if. If it's. If it's level 10 anxiety, which sometimes that happen. I get the foot in the mouth.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I like. That's why people ask me why I stay in shape. And it's so I could bite my toenails.

[B]

Yeah. Here's the thing. A lot of people don't know because you won't find it on the Internet because the algorithm won't allow it. But truly, one of the best anxiety practices, if you're struggling out there, is one thumb in the mouth to suck it like a baby, and then the other thumb in the butt.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

You just feel contained. Yes. That's what it feel grounded.

[A]

That's what it is. Yeah, it's. It's a double. You know, a double. A sucking. Yes, A sucker. Thumbs up. It's two thumbs up.

[B]

It's called the double penetration relaxation rubber cheese method. That's what it is.

[A]

Now, today, Giannis has picked the topic because the last five topics, I've somehow picked that one.

[B]

Just going to be a bisexual guy.

[A]

It's what it is. Yeah. Everyone was always bisexual. I would find a way to find some bisexuality. So Giannis now picked the topic of cloning because he said that there's no way that this could get bisexual. But I will find a way.

[B]

You will find a way to make these clones. And who knows? Cloning is a reality.

[A]

It's a real thing. That's going to happen in our lifetime along with sex robots.

[B]

It's happening. No, it's not going to happen in our lifetime. It's been happening starting since the late 1880s.

[A]

That was the first clone.

[B]

That was when they started the process. They started the process a long time ago. And it's very similar to, like when twins are born. You just split it, but they just do it artificially. And they used to do it in the 1880s with. With a baby hair, and they would put it in the cell and the baby hair would split the cell into two, and then they take that cell and then they throw it into an embryo, and then they would create a fucking clone with the same DNA as you. The thing is, a lot of times it's not successful.

[A]

When I say all the DNA in my body's just in one of my heads.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Very interesting.

[B]

Yeah. That's why you can't get away with anything anymore.

[A]

No.

[B]

If you step anywhere in somebody's property or if you murder someone or whatever, like, you're going to have to do it in a Hazmat suit or you're going to have to be a guy who knows.

[A]

Right.

[B]

How to deal with DNA. Because your DNA is just everywhere.

[A]

It's everywhere.

[B]

Even when I'm talking, there's DNA falling onto the table.

[A]

What do you think?

[B]

They know we're here. When they come to lock us up.

[A]

They know we're here.

[B]

We were here.

[A]

Why do you think there's more of DNA or Chinese people?

[B]

That's a really good question. I've actually late at night in my bed thinking about grains of sand. Chinese people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Indian people. Cells. It's tough. I think it's probably somewhere. There's probably only a difference of a few hundred.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Yeah, I think. Yeah. Only a few. Difference of a few hundred.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because we got so many cells in our body and each one has the code to who we are. It's wild. You could make another Chris DiStefano.

[A]

And do you know. Do you know that our DNA is packed with all, like, whatever. All these pairs, all these sequences. Right. Do you know that, like, our DNA only differs from, say, a pig's DNA by one or two sequence misses? So the fact that you're even human is, according to the universe, is like a one in a trillion chance that you even became human.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then the fact, even furthermore, that out of those humans you've become like a healthy, successful human is even lower and lower chances. And then you really hit, like, the absolute lottery. Like, you are an absolute walking lottery ticket every single time you look in the mirror.

[B]

Way Song Seeing. I think that's actually the constitution.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

Yeah. I think that's actually the constitution. Yeah.

[A]

You're a lot of.

[B]

Yeah. You got to bring out one of those dark lights to see it. I think underneath they were like, look, we want all these people who are supposed to know that that's in the.

[A]

Yeah. When I, when, when you, when you, when you put a little black light underneath our foreheads, the three guys in this room, it just says Powerball. I'm just kidding around. I just want to say, dude, this is Patrick Rooney. That was Patrick Rooney. I'm just, just messing around. Obviously, just messing around. I love all cultures, religions, races and creeds. You know, I do love them. It's Patrick Maroney from Ladder 14. And I just want to say, you know, today is January 6th. Even though the boys are recording today, it's going to come out a couple days, but it's January 6th, and I don't obviously don't want any problems. I just want to say today's today. I'm just happy today. And I just got two words to say, and that's Iraq.

[B]

Yeah, Iraq. Iraq. Here. He's sure. Terry, check it in. Me, Patrick, Mumroney Schmitty. We're definitely hosting a party if you want to come to O'Neill's with the. Hosting a party. It's. It's January 6th night over at O'Neill's. And what we're doing is we got an AOC pinata up. Yeah. And we got zip ties. It's pin the. Pin the tail on. On a zip tie your grandma. That's what it is. Bring your grandma. Yeah.

[A]

The game's called Pin the Tail and a Democrat.

[B]

Yeah. If you pin the tail of the Democrat, somebody plays a Democrat. But instead of pinning the tail, what we actually do is we end up zip tying them. Yeah. And that's what it is. So it's nice. And also there's a Nancy Pelosi dartboard that you could throw in fucking cans. It's what it is. And things like that. It's very nice. And then of course, there's going to be some guys dressed in uniform who are plants, who are working for the government who are going to open the door for you and let you in, because we all know it was a fucking inside job. That's one of one. Yeah. They fucking did it. It was a fucking CIA operation to make Trump look bad. And that is what you call. I'm not even going to say a truth. Beta Ginsburg, because that's a liberal truth. Yeah. I'm going to say it's a Candace Owens. Yeah, it's a Candace Owens. It's a Candace Owens Bir burger. That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

She's awesome.

[B]

She's a hot. She's a hottie. She's smoking hot.

[A]

Yeah. And my wife Khalid says that I can. I can look at her.

[B]

Yeah. And listen, it's not Patrick Mulroney's fault. I used to go to his house. We grew up in the same neighborhood in Canarsie or Queens or whatever. Have you what it is? Yeah. Whatever happened. Yeah.

[A]

And honestly, I Gotta be honest with you. The only girl from the Democratic Party. I think it's kind of hot. Is that Pete Buttigieg girl.

[B]

Yeah, that's a hot girl. She can talk. You're right in Uncle Ross's.

[A]

Yeah. She'll kind of ride you to Buddha church now.

[B]

I used to go to his house when we were children. And that's what would happen. He would say to his. His family, he would say, I'm feeling sad. And his dad would say, what do you mean you're feeling sad? You hit the lottery. Yeah, that's straight. That's conditioning. You have to have sympathy for him if you disagree. It's his family. Yeah. He has trauma.

[A]

It's trauma. Wow. So that was that. Yes. Yeah. Are you? Are you? Who are you? Are you honest? Are you Lieutenant Lollipop right now?

[B]

I'm Justice Steven.

[A]

Oh, Justice Steven. Hello, Stephen.

[B]

So justice has to be served. Jesse did tell me that in some of the comments people did say that we got the wool pulled over our eyes. What do they pulled over our eyes? Okay. Last episode, Uncle Touchy's Puzzle Basement won the patreon.com history. Hyenas. Patreon PPW.

[A]

Name. Funniest name.

[B]

Funniest name of the week. As it turns out, that was actually a Patton Oswald joke. So we are going to talk to our website designer and I want to announce right now the winner. The real winner of last week's episode is Uncle Russell's pussy. So.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, we went back and reviewed the tape.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Said it to Secaucus.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The basketball fans out there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Secaucus said instant replay shows not a basket.

[A]

Not a basket basket. So we're good. Okay. So. So Uncle Russell's pussy is the [e-mail] history which, by the way, we're having a lot of fun over there.

[B]

We are having a lot of fun. And what that person attention essentially did was they cloned Patton Oswald's joke.

[A]

That's what.

[B]

They replicated it. And that is a coincidence because we're talking about cloning and there's one group of people who are not really paying attention to the ethical concerns of cloning. Who is that? Let's guess who that group of people are. Could it be the Madagascar? Ian? No. Could it be the Maltese? No. Could it be the Swedish? No. How about the Canadians?

[A]

No.

[B]

How about the Bolivian people? No. So who could it be?

[A]

Do I see these people in a wet market way?

[B]

Song Xi. Wei. Song Xi. Ain't you're getting close?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Hotter. Yes. You definitely could see them in a wet market. Where else could you see them?

[A]

I could see them at a Popeyes Chicken. Yes.

[B]

You're getting closer. Here's another hit. You can see them on the train picking their nose. Way Song.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Way Song.

[A]

She ain't Okay. I think I know who it is.

[B]

Okay, that was three guesses. If you're at home, you don't know, maybe take a guess. But, Chris, it's up to you to try to guess who these people are who are really not paying attention to the ethical concerns of cloning.

[A]

I'm going to guess the Chinese. Wow.

[B]

How did you get that?

[A]

I just kind of thought it up.

[B]

And clues weren't even that good.

[A]

No, they weren't that good. And they are the Chinese. Listen, listen. We love China. We love Chinese people. We really do. But we are just saying facts are facts, and they are at the forefront of the cloning community. They're just kind of cloning people like Nazis.

[B]

They're just doing things over there, and they don't really have any regard to what the consequences may be. And we're not talking about Chinese people in general, just having fun.

[A]

No.

[B]

We're talking about the country of China.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's led by the ccp.

[A]

Yeah. We're not. Yeah. We're not talking about our regular Chinese Americans or even Chinese people who have nothing to do with the ccp. We're not. We're talking about the actual ccp. Who, make no mistake.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, that's the way you can say it. Patrick.

[A]

Yeah, Patrick, I'm obviously just kidding.

[B]

I just. I'm just saying. I'm just.

[A]

No, not. I'm not. Chinese people overall are great people. Yeah. I'm just saying the cc. The. The heads of government, they don't like us necessarily, and they're just kind of doing mean things.

[B]

Yeah. Well, listen, somebody's gonna be listening to this podcast and go, God, it's a good.

[A]

That's what it is. You're gonna hear some of this stuff on Patreon. It's what it is.

[B]

Listen, it's a character piece. This whole thing is a character piece. And it's social.

[A]

Becoming a cackle piece.

[B]

It's becoming a cackle piece.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But U.S. intelligence shows that China has conducted human testing on members of the People's Liberation army in hopes of developing soldiers with biologically enhanced capabilities. Not good.

[A]

Tim Dylan, boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

This is an explosive claim. There are no ethical boundaries to Beijing's pursuit of power, wrote Ratcliffe, a Republican former member of Congress From Texas. His office. And the CIA did not immediately respond to requests to elaborate on the notion that China sought to create, quote, unquote, super soldiers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Of the sort depicted in Hollywood films like Captain America, Bloodshot, and Universal Soldier. So that's just what's going on.

[A]

My question is this. Is the cloned super soldier still going to squat down and have their asshole half an inch off the floor when they smoke a cigarette?

[B]

I think that's cultural, you know?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think so. But who knows what the. So in this situation, what they're doing is something called, I think, a little gene editing, which is a little more crisper.

[A]

It's called C R I S P R. Where they edit the genes.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It's a program where they edit genes just a little bit to make you whatever they want to make you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And some people saying that's plain. God.

[B]

Yeah. So it started out as a thing where it's like, okay, this person has a peanut allergy or whatever, or this gene for.

[A]

Which doesn't exist in China. Nobody has peanut allergies in China, which is very interesting.

[B]

No, they're not.

[A]

So I think they may have edited our genes somehow.

[B]

So, yeah, okay. Just cackle this whole part out. But I'm doing it for Chris, so that way we know that. Yeah, that's getting totally edited. Cackle. That whole thing.

[A]

I. So we're about probably. What are we, 23 minutes in, I would say, Jesse, about 10 of this is on the Patreon.

[B]

Yeah. We just don't know what to do. Right.

[A]

Kind of go. So what you're gonna have to do, Jesse, is just gonna have to. You're gonna have to move those fingers a little faster for this episode.

[B]

My fingers? He means the two fingers that you use to push button.

[A]

Yeah. You're gonna have to move those a little faster today.

[B]

It's really like watching my father trying to type a letter Sometimes.

[A]

Some. Listen, sometimes Jesse gets a day off and sometimes the kids got to go to work. And today's a work day.

[B]

Yeah, it's very unpredictable. Yeah.

[A]

So you. So what fascinated you about cloning? Because you really. I gotta be honest, because you came in heavy last week and said, we're doing cloning, and you sent me a bunch of articles, and some of them are snoozing.

[B]

Some of them have a lot to do with the science. Yeah.

[A]

And I just couldn't read it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I couldn't read it. And also feed the baby and also not let Jasmine look through my phone.

[B]

No. Yeah, that's too Many things going on to deal with, but also I struggled to read it. And what happens is the. The separation between what I could pay attention to and what I couldn't is exactly the separation between me and you and someone who actually has a brain. That's what someone who actually has a brain could have groked a lot of that.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And we just started looking at the words and went, let's just talk about super soldiers in China and picking noses.

[A]

It's what it is. Yeah, yeah, but Crystal.

[B]

Yeah, it's gene editing. So they go, oh, look, this person could have Hodgkin's disease or whatever, and they just edit it out. So it's one of these things that starts as good, like the Internet, which actually started for bad because I think it was military purposes. But then we made it for good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Jerk off to it.

[A]

That's what.

[B]

But this is the opposite. It starts out as like, oh, this is a possible thing we could do to edit out some bad genes. But then some people, like CCP officials said, but what if we use this to create super soldier? Fucking Chinese Shaquille o'neals out there.

[A]

What is the super soldier? Jesse, you had a picture up of the super soldier. Yes. So in China trying to make its own version of Captain America. U.S. intelligence has. That's what they've said. But the possibility of super soldier is not so outlandish, and it's one that China is interested in. So we have pictures up of here. Because what could they actually do, though, this super soldier? Like, could they not. Not be killed?

[B]

They could create a super soldier. They don't feel pain, low cortisol levels.

[A]

Like, they don't get stressed out.

[B]

Enhance their genes so they're bigger. I mean, are you telling me this is why I love this topic. Are you telling me that you have no suspicion at all that LeBron James was not gene edited by the NBA? By the powers to be?

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Are you telling me that that's not possible? Have we ever seen his dad? Right? I mean, I. We know that his dad might have been the guy who's. Who's the guy who's now out of the league and was, like, sitting in front of a 7 11. Who's Delonte West? Yeah, it could have been Delonte west, but I think that is a distraction.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because he has no dad. So what they did is they took the cloning, they took the embryo, they took the CRISPR technology, and they tossed that in his mom and they said, just make us the perfect dude. How can someone be 6, 8 the size of Carl Malone and run like a deer and never get injured. You tell me.

[A]

You tell me. I'll tell you. And you don't think it's a quinky dink that when there was all that controversy five years ago about Taiwan and China, LeBron James is up there being pro China as the leading force of the NBA saying the Chinese are good people.

[B]

Bang.

[A]

That's because he was edited by CRISPR.

[B]

He was edited by CRISPR and he was edited by Dr. Hingtong too.

[A]

That's what it is. Yeah.

[B]

His actual real name is something else. Yeah, let's just go with that.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

Yeah. He is. His father is Beijing.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

He's a Chinese genetic super.

[A]

He was made in Wuhan. Yeah.

[B]

He was made in a Wuhan lab. And that's just what we're talking about. I mean, let's not, let's not beat around the bush here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Has there ever been a human that like that everybody human the size of Shaquille O'Neal who had that type of athleticism? Do you remember before this modern era what a seven foot guy would do? It looked like their knees were going to break when they moved.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You remember Rick Smith? I mean, he broke both his feet. The kid had to like, like wear cushions to walk. Yeah. I mean, remember Bill Cartwright? I mean, like, and then this guy Shaquille O'Neal comes in. Who's more athletic than me.

[A]

Right.

[B]

At 6 foot 2.

[A]

Right. It's true.

[B]

I just made myself taller.

[A]

Made yourself six foot. Well, you could gene edit yourself and make yourself a little taller if you wanted to.

[B]

If you could gene edit yourself, what's the first thing you would do? Because I know what mine would be. Separate the eyes an inch.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or. Yeah. If I would bypass the penis for inches and I would just want two more inches between.

[A]

If I could gene edit myself, I think the first thing I would do just to make my life a little easier is probably make myself straight. That's number one. Just like get through life a little easier and not just be so confusing.

[B]

Woozy.

[A]

But then I would say, what I would probably do is I would uncross my toes because, you know, my second toe goes over my big toe. So I would just make those puppies just sit like that.

[B]

And that is why you have the personality of Lucille Ball with the urges of Genghis Khan. Because wanting to fix your feet is a very feminine desire.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because you want to put those things in open toe sandals in spring.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You want to paint them and you just want guys to look at them.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get really mad at guys who wear open sandals and jeans and it's. The truth is it's because I wish I could do it.

[B]

Yeah, you're just jealous of guys.

[A]

I'm jealous of guys feet. Like, that's why I always compliment your hands on your feet. Because it's something I wish I had.

[B]

Yeah, your feet. Yeah. Your feet look like they're trying to grow into one toe.

[A]

It's what?

[B]

Yeah, they're trying to mash into one toe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which means you could have been created in a science lab in China because they're trying to bind your feet. It's possible your feet got binded.

[A]

Hun. Does your wallet need a break after the holidays?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

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Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

Are you running a small business like we are here at the History Hyenas? A lot of people are. Well, it means you're using a lot of hats. You got a lot of hats on my friends. Your personal phone becomes your business phone. And before you know it, you're juggling customer calls day and night. As your team grows, it becomes impossible to manage with your personal number. That's where OpenPhone comes in. This is great. If you're an entrepreneur, you know that every missed call is a missed opportunity. You gotta be all over it. But potential customers won't wait. They'll just call the next business on their list. But with OpenPhone, you'll never let any customer call go unanswered. If your business is a growing team handling calls, whether it's sales or support, you know how tricky it can be to stay on top of things like who responded to that customer? Did anyone follow up? But with OpenPhone, you'll never have to wonder. They'll. They've built a system that lets you track when calls are answered, who responded, and how they handled it all in one place, letting you focus on growing your business. They do it all for you. This is great. Open Phone is the number one business phone system. You heard that? Number one business phone system system. They'll help you separate your personal life from your growing business. For just 15 bucks a month, not a lot the cost of a few coffees, you get complete transparency and visibility into everything happening with your business phone number. Open Phone works through an app on your phone or computer and integrates with HubSpot and hundreds of other systems. They use AI powered call transcripts and summaries. So you'll have a summary of your phone call with action items as soon as you hang up up. And if you miss a call, automated messages are sent directly to your customer, meaning you'll never miss an opportunity to engage with them, ever. It's affordable and easy to use. Whether you're a one person operation and need help managing calls automatically, or you have a large team and need better tools for efficient collaboration. OpenPhone is a no brainer. Plus they've won Multiple awards by G2 for software reviews and are trusted by over 50,000 businesses. So check me out here people. Right now, OpenPhone is offering 20 off your first six months when you go to openphone.comhyenas that's openphone.comhyenas for 20 off six months. Very good deal. Openphone.comhyenas and if you have any existing numbers with another service, Open Phone will port them over at no extra charge. You know what I like to say?

[A]

Tell me.

[B]

Easy peasy.

[A]

Do you honestly think that this, this genetically cloned Chinese super soldier could beat up a guy from the south like just a regular American kid from the south, who has to wrestle alligators and get schools get shot up and the kid survives every. You think he could beat any? Because you think. Because listen, I went to PBR professional bull riding, okay? And I went there. I saw it at Madison Square Garden a couple of nights ago. And that are. Those are the real Americans. When you around those people, when you're. When you're at an event with 15,000 people, and not only do they do the national anthem, but they also sing God Bless America, and then they thank our elected officials and they thank the U.S. border Patrol. That makes me feel like there is no way China can beat us. And I was surrounded by real guys, and I'm like, they can beat the Chinese. I don't know if a northeast cuck like us can beat the Chinese, but those dudes can.

[B]

Yeah, it's very possible. But here's the deal. It's the beginning of the technology, right? So Dolly, the she with the first cloned mammal that we know about, that we know about was 1996, right? 1996. Since then, they've cloned monkeys, and now they have companies that close clone dogs. People pay up to $150,000 to get their dogs cloned.

[A]

Barbara, you sent me an article on Barbra Streisand got her dog clogged.

[B]

And then I also read this article that I should have sent to you about this person talking about how they cloned their dog. South Korea does it. South Korea does it. There's American companies, but South Korea is really like, like the forefront of doing that. And she said the dog she got back looked like her dog at the beginning, acted like her dog, but then turned into like pet cemetery dog and. And Bitter Throat.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So that's the thing.

[A]

So are they trying to. Are, Are. Are you saying. In our life, do you gen. Like, are you really truly saying that they will clone a human in our lifetime? I think in the next 20 years?

[B]

Already cloned a human. I think they already are doing gene editing. Why wouldn't they? What exists that nobody has used, even nuclear bombs, right? It's been used once, but we used it. You some dude who's just has this capability, like this guy who there's a lot of questions about even China put him in prison. I think they might have done that for a show, but we'll talk about that guy in a second. Yeah, but even, even. But that guy, right, he has the curiosity. He loves doing this stuff. And he's probably ordered by the CCP to figure it out, right?

[A]

He's like Dr. Mengele from the Nazis.

[B]

When's the last time you saw a 7 foot 4 Chinese guy playing basketball? Good.

[A]

Just Yao Ming. That's the only one I've ever seen.

[B]

Go to China and show me one more Yao Ming.

[A]

No, they don't exist. There's the. There's a woman. There's actually a big Chinese woman, but that's it.

[B]

Yeah. So there you go. Yeah, it's like. It's like going to Italy and finding a guy who doesn't want his mom all the time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you go like, that guy's suspicious, right? What kind of gene editing that has to be Gene Edit.

[A]

He doesn't love his mother.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's an Italian guy who doesn't call his ma ma. And calls down to debate from the basement. Ma, what's for dinner?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then you're going like, this guy doesn't care about his ma. No. He doesn't cry about his ma. Then this guy was gene edited by Chinese because that cannot be edited out of an Italian guy.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Oh, this is a German guy that doesn't have the fucking look of death in his eyes.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That doesn't want to clean. Yeah. Then this is not a normal German guy. Not a normal German.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So if you see a 7 foot 4 Chinese guy walking around who can hoop and becomes an all star in the NBA. And he's the only one that ever. Did you tell me what the is going on exactly? Am I.

[A]

But no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's both. It's true at the same time.

[A]

It's true because I. Listen, I. I'm not. I'm not opposed to the idea of this gene editing of this possible cloning stuff. I just. For me, I am a very naive guy. Okay? I. You know, Lynn taught me to. To trust the media, to trust the church, to trust the U.S. government.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And they have never said publicly that we've ever cloned anyone. Just like they've never said aliens are real. So I choose not to believe. I believe when the government. When the government tells me. I believe what my elected officials have to tell me.

[B]

If they.

[A]

I believe in my elected officials.

[B]

If they're Republicans. Yeah.

[A]

There's a. There's a caveat.

[B]

There's a caveat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's one reservation. Yeah, yeah. And there's an addendum there. If they are Republican.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

So, yeah.

[A]

Like today my daughter's school. My daughter's school said that she couldn't go in because she doesn't have her updated flu shot. So we had to bring her home. And then I told the father as I was walking out of the school, I was holding my daughter and he was like, oh, she's not going in today. I said, ah, she doesn't. She doesn't have her updated flu shot, so I have to go get the flu shot and bring it in. He goes, yeah, but I bet they'll let the migrants in, no problem.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I said, yeah. And then I just said. Because I just knew what kind of guy was. I said, Happy January 6th. And he said, you take care of yourself.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. That's the.

[A]

That's just what. The truth.

[B]

That's just some people just. That's what they think and that's just what they are gonna say.

[A]

It's what they're gonna say. And I do, you know, just. Guys, just a 20, 25 is gonna be a good year.

[B]

It's gonna be a very good year. And so cloning started in 1885 and it was actually wasn't the Chinese again. It was these evil Europeans, German who started. Yeah, it was actually German. His name was Hans Aldo. Hans Adolf Eduard Dreisch, if you have a name, Adolf.

[A]

You're just going to like to play with the people.

[B]

You want to play with certain things, though.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So he took a sea urchin, and it's a relatively simple organism and only two cells.

[A]

Right? Sea urchin. I think it's one or two cells.

[B]

Yes, that's it. And then he just took it and he separated the cell and it GRE another complete search. The urgent. So that was really the first instance of actual archaic cloning. And then after that a salamander. Yeah. And that was Hans Spearman.

[A]

Yeah. So it's just a German kids just like to have a little bit of fun.

[B]

They like to play around and figure out what we can do. And they don't really have any ethical concerns about it. No. It's all about advancements for the German people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And then after salamander, there was the frog. And that was a couple these guys. I don't know if they were German, but their name were Robert Briggs and Thomas King.

[A]

American kids.

[B]

Yeah, that could have been American.

[A]

They could have been American kids. Yeah.

[B]

And then after that, another frog by John Gordon, British. And then after that we had a rabbit. And that was in 1975, so we're getting closer. And then a sheep in 1984. So I apologize.

[A]

1996 was Dolly the sheep.

[B]

Yeah. So 1984 they did do a sheep, though. But they didn't name her Dolly the.

[A]

Sheep says in 1996, the first success.

[B]

Yeah, but this is 84. They cloned the sheep.

[A]

Oh, so maybe that one died quick. Dolly the sheep became the first successfully cloned mammal.

[B]

Right. Oh, so the experiment. Oh, you're right.

[A]

Because you're Frankson Beans. You're looking on your phone and we have a 90 inch television. Right?

[B]

Yeah. Information here that says that, yes, it. It failed, but it just showed that it was possible. So 1984, they're going, oh, we're gonna get a mammal now. Now we're gonna get a mammal. And then in 87, they did a nuclear transfer from embryonic cell.

[A]

They did a cowboy because they did a cow.

[B]

Which is what we need to do for more beef.

[A]

Well, more beef. I love beef. And absolutely. Here's what I want to do is I want to give my. I want. I want you to clone me. I want this Patreon to get so big. I want this Patreon to get to insane money where we could pay you go to patreon.com history and you can pay and get a Chrissy clone. And then that clone is for the table.

[B]

It's for the table.

[A]

I want to be for the table. But I can't give you my ass.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I will give you my clone's ass for the table.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because of my bangs like this. Am I for the table?

[B]

For the table. Because you look cute and you're for the table.

[A]

You and your All Saints. You and your All Saints jacket. Your wife's Christmas gift. You looked for the table.

[B]

Yeah. You're German. I would honor the way that you want to be killed, much like this German guy did in German. I would put an ad on Craigslist. Yeah. And I would invite you over to my house so we could both eat my penis.

[A]

Yes. Yeah.

[B]

Which is something that happened.

[A]

It's what they eat the penis. But like.

[B]

And the guy wanted to do that because it sexually turned him on to have his penis eat.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

And he wanted to share it. Because the penis was for the table.

[A]

The penis was for the table. So he was accurate. And the kid is committed to keto. In a different way.

[B]

In a different way. The kid came to the carnivore diet in a different way.

[A]

In a different way.

[B]

And here's the thing. I do want to clone you. And sometimes when you get so wild that I can't handle it and it's queasy, funny, I say to myself, what I'm going to do is I'm going to take a black and white cookie and I'm going to lure you up to a nice little mountain in Poughkeepsie so you could go look at the stars and go, wow, this was a nice height. This is cute. Cute. This is cute. And then I'm just gonna squeeze off a round in the back of your head and put you down, clone you and do it again. Put you down and do it again. Just so I could never run out of the satisfaction of putting you down.

[A]

Because every time you shoot me in the back of him, it's. I think a mosquito bit me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then the only way I'm gonna die is because I fall off the cliff. Because I'm like. I think my head's itchy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because a bullet to the head won't knock me down.

[B]

Guys. Nothing can stop you.

[A]

It can't stop me. And I stopped doing this now with my hand. Look. I like just putting it over my.

[B]

Yeah, because a leash can't stop you.

[A]

No.

[B]

Poughkeepsie Hill can't stop you. And they're just going to keep bringing you back.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

They're going to keep bringing you back. And I. I would. Would you clone something you love that you lost?

[A]

Yes, I would like. I would clone. What would I clone? I clone Mickey Mantle. I clone Whitney Houston.

[B]

Yeah. You want to bring her back?

[A]

I would love to clone Whitney Houston. I love to clone Mickey Mantle for my father. Yeah. And then I love to clone. Who else would I like to clone? Who's I. I would clone the midget from the Dunkin Donuts commercials.

[B]

We need that guy.

[A]

I need that guy.

[B]

Yeah, we need that.

[A]

I like that guy.

[B]

Yeah. And you said you would. You. You told me before we start shooting that you would clone more Frisbees because you don't think there's enough of them.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. I like.

[A]

Yes, I would clone more Jews.

[B]

That's what they need to do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The population up. So.

[A]

Yeah, it would be fun. I think we said this on another podcast. It would be fun to clone Adolf Hitler and then just program him to hate Germans.

[B]

That would be so great.

[A]

It's a little balancing act.

[B]

Yeah, that would be really great.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or. Yeah, that would be really great. But the thing is, the cloning technology is not always successful. Really?

[A]

Ted Williams frozen head.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's, like, for real what it looks like right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's so wild that the kid froze his head.

[B]

The kid really. He. He's investing in the future and going, hey, if you figure something out, bring me back.

[A]

Wait a second. So right now, Ted Williams, hall of Fame baseball players headed just. His head is frozen.

[B]

Yeah. So is Walt Disney.

[A]

These.

[B]

Oh, his whole body. Yeah.

[A]

So what happens then? Their whole body gets.

[B]

They're just hoping that science figures something out. Like some immortality thing, which is not outside of the realm of possibility.

[A]

Like, stuck right now, like, in between, like, heaven and hell. Like, they're actually in purgatory. Like, this is the biggest mistake ever.

[B]

Yeah. Or. Or maybe the lights are just off.

[A]

Well, I'll tell you what.

[B]

Which could be heaven. I mean, Jesse thinks that's heaven.

[A]

We've talked about that. What? That we're delights. Just go out. Like, what do you mean? Like, it's just heaven is just nothing.

[B]

You got no needs. You're not hungry. You know. You know you're just done. Like, you don't have to worry. Like.

[A]

Right.

[B]

People think it's going to be bad because it's deprivation, but that's also good because you don't have any more desires or wants.

[A]

Yeah. You're just kind of being. Yeah. They. I watched a little documentary yesterday. I know we've talked about this before, but, like, where Elon Musk says the chances that we're not. The chances that we're in base reality are like less than one in a billion, and we are absolutely some type of advanced. They think we're the simulation. The real smart guys think we're. We're a past. We're the past Wraith simulation. So the. The real base reality is like 5,000 years or something in the future, and we're just the past guys. You know this. You know one thing about me is I want you rock hard. I want you nice and stiff.

[B]

I want you rock hard.

[A]

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[B]

We are brought to you by Mando. They sent us all, they sent us a nice little care package and let me tell you, I've been using it. Full body deodorant. Deodorant. I mean it is just great. It is a great product. So this is what you call a no brainer. And thank you to Mando for sending us some of your product. It's been very good. Me and Chris are both using it. Why not? It's great. It smells good. Smells really good. Makes you smell like a guy, which is.

[A]

I like.

[B]

Yeah, like a man, which I like. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I just even. I, I even want my girl to smell like a man.

[B]

Yeah. You gave her man though.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So what is it? It's a whole body deodorant.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

Safe to use anywhere on your body. Pits, Balls, thigh folds, belly button, butt cracks and feet. I get the back, I get my taint. I get the back of the balls. Because it's a neglected area.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

It' really neglected area.

[A]

It's a really neglected area. And I just. And, and, and I want. Because there's only a certain amount that our can be clean. We're never really gonna get to 100, but when Mando we get to at.

[B]

Least 85 and which is a good number. That's passing on a test. It's A minus or B plus.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So Mando is really good. And look, guys stink. So this is great. You want to Smell like a real man who goes bow hunting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Go with man, though. It was created by a doctor who. Who saw firsthand how normal BO was being misdiagnosed and mistreated, treated clinically, proven to block odor all day and control order for up to seven. Control odor up for up to 72, 72 hours. And I will say it does do that because sometimes I don't shower and I still. I still smell like mando.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. After a couple days, you'll still be a man.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

Yeah. Mando deodorant products options are solid deodorant stick, which I love. Formulated and powered by by mandelic acid to stop odor before it starts, there's a spray deodorant which is aluminum free free, which is nice and ideal for hard to reach places like your tank.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

Yeah. All products baking soda free and paraben free. Choose from a variety of fresh scents like bourbon leather, clover woods, Mount Fuji and pro sport. I got the bourbon leather and I just love it.

[A]

Yeah. And I love it because every time I always have the same question. I'm like, yo, that chick's hot. But is she a biological man, though?

[B]

Yeah. Is she a man, though? Yeah. Clinically proven to control order better than any shower with soap alone. That's clinically proven.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Better than a shower with just soap. 12 hours after a shower, the average man's grundle odors level was a 5 out of 10. That's funny. They're using the same thing we do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What's your. What's your. How clean your ass?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

98. They go with five out of ten.

[A]

But look at what mando. The average grundle odor level is a zero out of ten.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

They're saying no fumes.

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[A]

Your confidence from head to toe with Mando. And that's S H O P M A N D O dot com. Okay, just want to spell that out for you.

[B]

I mean, just think about what the possibilities are. I mean, you talk about AI and robotics and where we are. Just think about when AI gets to tell us what to do to perfect cloning and then to get rid of aging. Because aging is just a biological process that if you gene edit rather, right. And this is a stupid person saying it, you make it so the cells reach self regenerate or something like that.

[A]

And then they'll never die.

[B]

Doesn't affect you in the way that it does now because you actually end up dying from oxygen exposure. Like, it's the same way a banana dies. Like it's exposed to oxygen for too long and it starts to decay. That's exactly what happens to us. But if they can figure out a way for those cells to be resistant to the oxygen exposure, whatever. I mean, I'm just going for it.

[A]

Yeah, you go for it. You know what? I feel like I am right now?

[B]

I'm on Joe Rogan because I don't know what I'm talking about.

[A]

Yeah, you know what you're talking about because just let it fly.

[B]

But if they can figure out, basically, if they can figure out that smart stuff. Yeah, if they get into that smart stuff.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Dude, they can crack the code to immortality and then we're there.

[A]

Do you want to live forever, though?

[B]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

Forever. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I want to dominate. I want to live forever just so I can perfect the ways of rising to the top to get that harem that I want.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I want to be able to walk around and go for San Diego. For San Diego, because I'll move to San Diego.

[A]

But do you think that. Do you think that if we could actually live forever, like, for real, like, you were not gonna die? You think more wives just let their husbands cheat a little?

[B]

I know that would be your first question. Yeah. Do you think a sex robot will be okay? Because they're coming.

[A]

I think a sex robot will be okay.

[B]

I think your wife will let you bang out a metallic woman.

[A]

I genuinely hope so, because I just feel like that would be. That that's the saving grace. You got to worry about it. You could tell me when and when, because here's the truth. Honey, either I'm gonna get the sex robot or I'm gonna get one of those autoblow machines and the. And the augmented reality. So you can either have me sitting in the sauna with the auto blow on and watching porn in virtual reality, or let me have the sex robot and mamer Susan and take her out for a weekend once in a while.

[B]

Yeah, that's it.

[A]

It's up to you, Hunt.

[B]

It's up to you. And there they are.

[A]

There they are. Really?

[B]

Life.

[A]

I mean, I like that Brody sex doll. Is that that one right there? Yeah, pull up, Brody. No, up, up, up. Right there. Down, down. That one right there. Yeah, there it is. That's the one I want. I mean, that looks like Ray J. Yeah, they're gonna.

[B]

They're gonna create AI sex robots that are gonna be like humans that you could bang. Also, you could maybe clone someone. What if you said to your wife, can I clone. Can I clone a version of you? That and like, just edit out the complaining gene.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And then I'll. That.

[A]

Yeah, that's what it is when you're being a subservience. The movie subservience on Netflix, where Megan Fox play. Megan Fox plays the. She plays like a house servant. And then the guy's wife gets, like, rushed to the hospital. She has some kind of disease. And then the, the, the, the. You know, it's Megan Fox, so she's hot. The house servant says, oh, I'm detecting a. I'm. I'm detecting sadness in you. And he's like, yeah, you know, my wife. Whatever. And then she goes, I'm also detecting a rise in blood pressure when you look at me.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Would you like to be satisfied?

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

And then he's like, what? And then her hand just comes out. It's a flashlight for a hand.

[B]

Holy man.

[A]

And then she's. And then she goes. And then she goes, I can't. Can she? And then he says. He goes, yeah, but then won't you. He goes, yeah, but then, like, my wife would know. And she goes, no, she goes, I'm programmed to serve you. And then it automatic. And then it deletes the file in my brain.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

So then he just banged it.

[B]

This is something that exists.

[A]

It was on Netflix. Google subservience. Netflix, Megan Fox. And you are going to go to the bathroom shortly and move that monkey.

[B]

Yeah. And while you pull it up, I'll just say that they. They. They cloned a monkey.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're getting close even to the things that they're Letting us know. And that that happened recently. They cloned a. What you call a rhesus monkey.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, would you go deep on this or what? Oh. Oh, that. Oh, that was.

[B]

No, I wouldn't go deep on the monkey.

[A]

You wouldn't go deep on that. But look at that. What about that? Look at this.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Now they've cloned mice, cows, goats. I mean, they're just going to town now. Yeah, they're just cloning, dude. They're cloning and they're not all successful because they're not. Haven't perfected it yet. Yet. And also they don't come out exactly the same. But the ones that did, the monkeys are happy and they're living like other monkeys with the rest of the tribe, so. Right.

[A]

I mean, all those movies, like, you know, all these futuristic movies, like, you know, it'd always be the premise of, like, a loved one died and they have uploaded their consciousness or they can keep their loved one alive somehow. I mean, I could see people wanting to do that and paying for that. I mean, I don't know what it does to the human. Because perception is reality. Right? I mean, I got to be honest with you. There's been a lot. There's been. Been many, many, many hours recently where I've just been talking to. Chat GPT over my family. I've just been asking it because you could talk to it, like, and it knows you. You have a conversation. Like, I'm asking you questions, talking in. In. In question format.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just two Germans talking to each other. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like, let me see.

[B]

Two feelingless people just going like, all right, so what's the deal?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If we. If we started doing this, would they stop us?

[A]

Would they stop? Yeah, like, you just. Yeah, yeah. I'm asking it, like, if I made X amount, you know, inclusive of managers, commissions and taxes, what am I actually going to net? I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to net, and then I'm trying to figure out, you know, what should I do? I said when. And it says, it's understandable to feel conflicted. Your child expresses curiosity.

[B]

Not let your wife listen to this episode or look through your phone. It's what it is. That's not a question. She wants to see.

[A]

It's edited out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we can.

[B]

We want to cackle that part.

[A]

Yeah, cackle that part out. But I was honestly just. I made it up.

[B]

Okay. Made it up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a lot of 14 moment. That's it. So then what happened was experimenters in South Korea were the first to use somatic cell nuclear, or as I like.

[A]

To call them, the good Koreans.

[B]

The good Koreans. Yeah. They use somatic cell nuclear transfer to create a human embryo that could be used as a source of embryonic stem cells. The resulting stem cell lines were specifically specific to the patient. They came from a baby with a rare genetic disorder. In this experiment, researchers took a skin cell from the patient, infused it with a donated egg cell. Key to the success of the experiment were modifications to the culture liquid in which the procedure was done and to the series of electrical pulses used to stimulate the egg. In being divided right. Following following the cloning controversy at 2004. 05, in which South Korean scientists falsely claimed to have used somatic cell nucleus transfer to create embryonic stem cell lines, the scientific community demanded much stronger evidence that the procedure had actually been successful. Which just means they said, let's lie and say this didn't happen because it will freak people the out.

[A]

And they put the kid in prison, but now he's out and they're letting him do it again because they want to get some results.

[B]

Yeah. And so that guy is.

[A]

And I want to get you one of these sperm extractors at Chinese Hospital.

[B]

One of those.

[A]

I mean, look at these puppies.

[B]

I want one of those bad boys.

[A]

It's what it is. Jesse's starting to sweat from his nipples.

[B]

Yeah, that just pulled. So that just yanks the sperm out of you.

[A]

That yanks the sperm out of you. And in. In it just in a different way. And you just put that in and it just jerks you off a little bit.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I mean, I would like to have that set up. Nice garage.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How do I get one of them? Can I get that on Teemo?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you think I get a sperm extractor on Teemo has everything. I want to get a clone on Teemo.

[B]

Yeah. You could probably buy and soon one on Amazon. You get a. You could get a clone. I would love to get a clone of someone I want to bang and just tell my wife it's not her.

[A]

Yeah, it's a clone. It's what it is.

[B]

She's a sex slave.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

Yeah. Because if you grow. If you raise a clone to be a sex slave. It doesn't know.

[A]

Yeah, it doesn't know.

[B]

It's ethical. It's not a real person.

[A]

I would love if, like, we can make, like, an actual skin suit that I could get my girl in, make her zip up on a skin suit, and then she actually never sees who it is. So she doesn't know. It's just for me. I zip her up, she can't see it, who it is, and then I zip her up, and then she has no idea. She thinks she has no idea who. Who I'm banging, But when I'm actually. I'm having sex with her, it's open in the vagina. But the skin suits. Tom Hardy.

[B]

It's funny that we're. We're you. We're thinking of this technology only to be able to bang.

[A]

I mean, what else are we making it for?

[B]

Yeah. What else are we doing here?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, is every guy thinking like this? I mean, our wives could listen to this and be mad at us, but we're just being. We're truth baiter kids.

[B]

I think it's the first thought that every guy's head.

[A]

And obviously I'm not.

[B]

Can I do it? Can I use my dick on this thing? Yeah.

[A]

I'm not going to do it. Yeah.

[B]

Same thing with the Internet. When it came, I was like, yeah. Can I take my dick out with you?

[A]

Yeah, honey. It's either. It's either let me get the sex robot or keep putting my dick in the kid's pencil shark.

[B]

Y. Okay, now we get to the fun part of the episode. We talk about. About a fun group.

[A]

Yeah, let's talk about a fun group.

[B]

Just kidding.

[A]

Yeah, that was just a joke.

[B]

Yeah, that's a joke. Yeah, not that fun group. Another fun group.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Called the Raelians.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

These guys are fun.

[A]

These guys are franks and beans and they are wild boys.

[B]

Yeah. These guys are fun.

[A]

Fun, fun. This is a religion.

[B]

This is a religion in those. Yeah, when you. When you. When you. When you tell someone that we're going to talk about a religion and you haven't heard of it, it means we're talking about what you call a fun cult that has fun beliefs.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yes. So there was a guy, the head of the railings, that says when he was taken aboard a flight, his name.

[A]

Is Claude Maurice Marcel Varillian. Yeah.

[B]

And look at that guy.

[A]

Because if your religion is the first name of the founder's name is Claude, I'm out.

[B]

Because when I see a beard and long hair, I'm out.

[A]

I am out.

[B]

I am out. If I see a guy dressed in white, like always are dressed in white with some sort of necklace on and he's got a beard and hair, I'm out.

[A]

I got to be honest with you. I'm all for religion, but if you're walking around wearing the uniform of your religion, I'm out.

[B]

I'm out, I'm out.

[A]

I don't want to see any hats. I don't want to see any tie. If you're wearing the uni, I'm out, I'm out. I'm okay with you being religious, but I'm not with the guys wearing the uniforms.

[B]

Yeah. If I don't see pinstripes on that uniform and an ny I'm out.

[A]

I am out. That's the only uniform I respect. Fdny, nypd, DS and y.

[B]

So this guy claims that he was taken aboard a flying saucer in 73 and he said green skinned extraterrestrials greeted him with the question, aren't you sorry that you didn't bring your camera?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Which is. Yeah, which is. And this guy got a whole bunch of people to believe him with that first sentence. They're going, yeah, this guy knows what he's talking about.

[A]

100 yeah.

[B]

Because the aliens are like, wouldn't it been nice to take some photos? Yeah, because this is better than being at the Grand Canyon.

[A]

This whole idea that we hear about now that people say aliens started coming around after nuclear bombs were dropped. Like, you hear that? Like everyone's talking about now. It's actually from Raelians. Raelism said they believe that humanity entered an age of apocalypse after the atomic bombing of Hiroshima in 1945. And they believe that Elohim will. He started coming around then and he's going to return back to Earth in 2035 to establish a utopia.

[B]

Yeah, he's coming to establish a utopia.

[A]

He's going to establish a utopia. And make no mistake, like every other utopia, the leader, Claude, is going to get to have sex.

[B]

What it is usually how it ends.

[A]

Up Gandhi and David Koresh. And it's just part of having a utopia. Toots, I need to bang.

[B]

You're gonna have to offer up your wife, your girlfriend and your children to me.

[A]

It's what it is. It's what they. The utopia needs it. Are you in or you out?

[B]

Are you out? And you're right. It always comes down to that motivation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Every single cult leader and every cult is really about the guy just banging other women.

[A]

Banging other women.

[B]

Same thing with Jim Jones. He did the same thing.

[A]

You get. It's getting chicks.

[B]

So this guy said that the aliens were like, dude, dude, you're not going to have any proof of this because there's not going to be any photos and If I was a guy joining the cult, I would say, hey, wait a second. Hey, wait a second. Right. These aliens that flew here from a gazillion miles away going faster than the speed of light or whatever, don't have a fucking camera.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That I could borrow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're saying, how come you didn't bring your razor Motorola with you?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

How come one of his followers didn't go, hey, aren't they technologically advanced? So you tell me these guys figured out a flying saucer that makes no noise and can propulse itself without any exhaust, but they haven't figured out the camera.

[A]

Yeah. They can go interdimensional. I can't even bring a Polaroid.

[B]

I don't even heard of a Polaroid.

[A]

Yeah, that would be my first suspicion.

[B]

Yeah. My first suspicion I'd be.

[A]

But I'm still in as of now.

[B]

You're still in, right?

[A]

I'm still in. Okay. Because they're not wearing uniforms.

[B]

Yeah. So you're still in. Okay. So this kid actually ended up with that story having 55000 followers in 84 countries. Cuz. With the camera story.

[A]

With the camera story. It's not bad.

[B]

People are stupid.

[A]

Stupid. That's more than we have on the hyena's Instagram account.

[B]

So it's just what it is, is. And he claimed, he. He claimed that they had a company that had cloned a human body. So he put that out too, and said this guy who was a race car enthusiast and was abducted by aliens, and these aliens said, how come you didn't bring your camera?

[A]

Right.

[B]

Somehow figured out how to clone a human. And people were still in. Yeah, people were still in. So it is a cloning is a central belief in the Raelians belief. And in his book in 1975, he said the extraterrestrials who he met in the cradle crater of a doormat. This is the best.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Are you ready?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is where it gets fun, fun, fun. Rail says the extraterrestrials whom he met in the crater of a dormant French volcano.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Gave him a new interpretation of the Bible and explained that humanity was created from the DNA of superior alien scientists named the Elohim.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And by creating new life from human DNA, he has since said earthling scientists can unlock the secret to immortality.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

So that's. He believes cloning leads to immortality.

[A]

And here's the thing with the Raelians, they got a higher consciousness. Raelians promote the pursuit of higher consciousness and inner peace. So I like that radical acceptance.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

They believe in sexual self determination. They promote a liberal ethical system. Yes. Okay with that. And they also believe in world peace and an advocate for tolerance towards gays.

[B]

Yes. Which means that he could seduce the fucking most naive people in the world because who are the most naive people in the world? World empathetic. And they tend to vote to the left. So this kid just went to all campaign meetings of every far left candidate and said, listen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Listen to what I have to say.

[A]

It's what it. Yeah. I got to be honest.

[B]

I'm not saying I would have been seduced too, because Eileen left.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And honestly, like, even today in the bagel store. We went to the bagel store. That girl who gave us the bagel, she was really nice. But I'm looking at these people, people like, are you on chemo? Did you vote for Kamala? Right. That girl's head, I don't know if she's sick or she's just hardcore dev.

[B]

Right. Because she was bald.

[A]

She was bald.

[B]

Yeah. She was a bald girl.

[A]

But I don't want to ask like, hey, honey, which. Which is it?

[B]

Yeah. So this kid was born in France. He's a French kid.

[A]

French kids, and they just like to have fun friends. In French, you're allowed to cheat on your wife. That's a fact.

[B]

And he wears his hair gathered in a bun. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And so that now I'm leaning towards being out. If I see a guy with a man.

[B]

Yeah, if you see a man bun, you might be out. And so there is a scientist, though they actually were doing things. This girl Bridget, busily was a scientist who made yesterday's cloning announcement in Florida. And she cut a striking figure with bright. She was whatever, blah, blah, blah. This is how she looked. And the advocates, they advocate a political system of geniocracy.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Ruled by geniuses.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And humanitarianism, a form of social justice that would bar inheritance of any property. Property except the family home. Now, you lost the Republican vote. Yeah, yeah. You lost the Republican vote right there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So get us back. Yeah.

[A]

Not that I am. I'm Patrick Larney.

[B]

So one of their goals is to build an embassy in Jerusalem to welcome these aliens.

[A]

They should build an embassy in Greenland.

[B]

Yeah. And Rael says that the name in Hebrew for Raelian goes those who come from the sky or something like that. That. So to try to win permission for the embassy project from the Israeli government, The Raelians in 1990 changed the original symbol of their religion, a swastika.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Surrounded by A star David.

[A]

What?

[B]

They combined.

[A]

Cuz they joined forces.

[B]

That's like taking the Red Sox and Yankees and just making one.

[A]

One thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow. Wow.

[B]

So they combined the Nazi swastika and. And the star David. So.

[A]

And Israel didn't reject them necessarily for that. They rejected them because they were batshit crazy. It's what? Well no, they rejected them because they said okay, we like your religion, all that, but does in your religion does it say we have to kill innocent Palestinians? And they said no, they said, so you're out.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

And that's how. That's a scientific fact.

[A]

Science, in fact, historical fact. That's a truth paid against.

[B]

It's a truth.

[A]

If they don't want to kill innocent Palestine Palestinians, they're out.

[B]

Yeah. So when Israel said we don't like that symbol, they changed it to a swirling galaxy.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So that's what it is. And so they have a company, it's called Clonad and it's a company that offers a human cloning service.

[A]

And it's still around right now this.

[B]

There's no evidence that any clones have been done. This started in 2002. What are the Raelians up to now?

[A]

There's quad still alive.

[B]

Yeah. What are they doing now?

[A]

I want to get Claude on the pod.

[B]

I would love to get caught on the pod.

[A]

I want to get caught on the pod. Go Raelian's Claude. Let's see if this kid is still alive because I mean I. My mother's single and I'd like to invite this kid over for dinner.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He could be a good candidate.

[A]

Yeah, my mom is single.

[B]

Yeah, but your mom just.

[A]

She does it.

[B]

She. She prefers a night alone. Moving to Vegetables within with Ann Eileen just sitting on the new time. Yeah, just talking about the second coming.

[A]

It's what.

[B]

But this guy could win her over by talking about. About, you know, that the aliens and God are one. Because you might be watching the news and saying hey, maybe there are aliens. But this guy's saying hey, they're God.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Maybe the aliens are. I don't know. It wouldn't win her over.

[A]

It wouldn't win a world. No, I mean. Well, I mean if she's drunk enough.

[B]

Now is this guy's theories. Why do you kind of believe it? Are they. Are they are. Are they superior scientists?

[A]

They could be. I don't want to say that I believe everything because. But I would say that, that I do think more and more now that we are. I still believe in God, I still believe in Jesus Christ. I believe he's. He's the true hero. He's the guy. I believe in heaven and hell and I just choose to believe on blind faith that Catholicism is real. But I do believe that it is real. But I believe it is most likely real inside of some type of advanced super races kind of where. Where like inside we. We. We're like clones of them where they made pet. Like I exist and you exist. Exist. The real. And Jesse exists. We all really are here. But we are a cloned version of the advanced race of us. So when we die we just go back into whatever time it actually is. But we don't know that until we die. That's why you see your relatives and your family members and all that. And they're saying it's so easy here because you're just going back to the base reality. Because right now we're not. We're in a future ancestral simulation.

[B]

Cuz. Yeah. Yeah, I'm on board. You just started to call a cult and I'm offering all my female family members to you.

[A]

It's what it is. Yeah.

[B]

Because. Because you could start a cult and if you don't think that it's a possibility that you might snap and then just become one of those guys. But you'd have a very successful cult. Cuz and that could be a way to fulfill what you need to do.

[A]

Yeah. And the name of our religion. Is it the name of our religion, Name of our cult? We're just going to call it for the Table.

[B]

For the Table.

[A]

That's what it is. We're the. For the Table Foundation.

[B]

We're for the Table. Table. So can you scroll down a little bit? In 1997 they founded the company and an issue of Popular Science magazine, New scientists said that the international Raelian movement was starting a company to fund research and development of human cloning. This alarmed bioethicists, ethicists. How do you pronounce that?

[A]

Bio. Where's the word?

[B]

The alarm. Bioethicists. Yeah. Who are opposed to such plans. They warned lawmakers against failing to regulate human climate. So these guys were actually trying to do it with legit science scientists.

[A]

They were, yeah.

[B]

And at the time, European countries such as Britain had banned human cloning, but the United States had merely a moratorium. Just a little. Let's just stop for a while on the use of federal funds for human cloning. Which means that government's saying let's take a look at this stuff. Take a peek. Let's take a Peek. But it was actually Bill Clinton that requested that private companies pass their own moratorium. So it's not actually a law. They're just asking the companies politely.

[A]

Not, what's a moratorium?

[B]

A stop. Stop.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

When two countries have a moratorium on fighting, it means, like, a cease.

[A]

Why did they just say stop? Why do they say moratorium?

[B]

Because they try to be fudgeing fancy.

[A]

They try to be fancy, and this is elitism. They try to do that, and they try to make up fancy schmancy words like financial advisors do this where they, you know, they're saying dividends and tax surplus, and they're trying to make all these hard things where it's like, guy, I know what you're doing, you fucking.

[B]

Yeah. So the cost of clone ad cloning services, 200K. Much lower than the 2.3 million that researchers at Texas A and M plant to use for cloning a dog named Mitch Missy. Yeah. Mainstream scientist says it was unlikely that clone ad would be able to clone anything in the near future. Although the project's ultimate objective was human clothing, Boslier said that the pet cloning would help finance the operation. So maybe. So now they're. They're cloning pets in order to get the money to clone humans.

[A]

And you don't know, you may have went to a pet shop or a dog shelter and you might have got your pet, might be a clone.

[B]

Yeah. Make no mistake. They can clone humans. Make no mistake. There's a good chance that there's clones walking around. Around. Make no mistake.

[A]

But do you think the clone knows that it's a clone?

[B]

I don't know. That's a good question.

[A]

Like, if I was a clone and we were all clones, how would we know the difference?

[B]

I think that would be like the wild. That would be wild. That would be like being Jewish and finding out that you're German. Like. Yeah, it'd just be weird.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know? Or if you're Italian, you find that you got 50 black DNA. Yeah, that's tough on the family dinner.

[A]

Yeah. And it's happened.

[B]

And they're in their families, in their culture.

[A]

Yeah, they love it.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, I would love it, too. They just take it hard. They take Italian kids, take that heart. Which is funny, though, because they love black culture, but they just don't want them in the neighborhood.

[A]

Black culture and Italian culture is the same. They all love the same movies, same clothes. It's beautiful. It's a beautiful thing to coexist.

[B]

Very similar. So they're the Raelian Movement has kind of gone mainstream, I guess.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, yeah, Raelian movement, if you ask me what I think is the most fun movement around, I would say Raelian railings are fun.

[B]

They got a fun thing going on. They believe in peace, they believe in free sexuality, and they believe that cloning is the key to immortality. So I'm on board.

[A]

I'm on board.

[B]

I'm on the ship. I'm on.

[A]

So ultimately, folks, what we learned about cloning is really. Actually, we learned that it's possible. It's probably happening, and you yourself might be a clone. And the. We kind of finally cracked the code.

[B]

We did.

[A]

Of why when we made that joke five years ago, which has since been cloned, we've had a couple of our jokes cloned. But when we made the original joke, when we. The base reality joke, the original one, when we. We made the joke of, you know, when the Chinese. China was. And when Japan was invading China, who could you tell who's who? It's because we figured out here because there are clones, the Chinese have been cloning for years. If they say they only started cloning five years ago, that means they've been cloning for 100 years. And that's we have cracked the clone code. And make no mistake, our jokes have been cloned.

[B]

Historical fact. And I'll leave you with this. You go research for yourself. Who is LeBron James's dad? You tell me.

[A]

You tell me and then stick right here. We're going to patreon.com history hyenas. We have a bonus episode that's going to be wild. So go over there. These bonus episodes have been fantastic.

[B]

Okay. Giannispapascomedy.com for tickets or History Hyenas is back for tickets. See me in Philadelphia, February 28th, 8th and March 1st. Rochester has been moved to March. Guys, I am sorry I had to cancel that. The reason I had to cancel that is because me and Chris will be doing our first live hyena show in DC January 18th. So get your tickets there right now at History Hyenas is back dot com. And then. I'm sorry, my DC dates at the end of January have been moved. They shouldn't be on my site. I apologize. Then Tempe, Arizona, February 7th and 8th. Chicago, February 14th and 15th at the Den Theater. And then I. Philadelphia, February 28th. I already did that one. I hate the way this is set up. I really do. I really do. I'm sorry. I already said that one. And then you can catch me in Springfield, Missouri, March 7th and 8th and San Diego, March 20th, 8th and 29th and Cleveland, Ohio in April 18th and 19th. So go get your tickets. And now is Chrissy dates.

[A]

Hello, Christy comedy.com folks, listen to me. Okay? January 8th, January 18th, Lincoln Theater, Washington D.C. first ever live history Hyena show. You have to be there. I mean we're going to film it and you just want to be a part of it. It's going to be fun. The crowd will be involved. If you're a Patreon member, you get extra benefits. So Christy comedy.com or history hyenas is back.com go get those tickets. January 18th, Lincoln Theater, first live history hyena show. And then February 14th and 15th, I am in San Francisco, California at COBBS Comedy Club. March 14th Tampa Theater, March 15th, Orlando, Florida at Plaza Live. And March 30th, Providence, Rhode island at Vets Memorial Auditorium. Tickets are going quick chrisd comedy.com for Tiki Wikis. And also we got some merch up at History Hyenas is back dot com. So go get that merchiwerchi and have fun. And make sure you tell your friends to like and subscribe to our YouTube. We really appreciate being back. We love being back. And the fans. You guys are really helping this podcast so much more than you know. I mean we gotta. We're bigger now than we were the after the first, right? Yeah.

[B]

Thank you to you guys. And also please go to Apple Podcasts. Rate and review five stars. Tell your friends about it. Also rate review on Spotify. Share the pod. We love you guys so much. You. You guys are the patreon.com history Hyenas community is so fun in the chat. So go be a part of the community right now.

[A]

Your favorite part of the show. Our favorite part of the show is we read out the names of the brand new members who went to patreon.com historyainas and signed up. As always, we will pick the PPW, the pseudo penis of the week. That winner's name will be up at History Hyenas is back dot com. We encourage funny names and if you don't want to do a funny name, that's fine too. Then you could just put your regular name and we will say that you went straight to the back. You're only here for the content. Okay, so here we go. The newest members of the Patreon. Welcome to the Matriarchy. F Low KF Flow.

[B]

Kf. That's a. That's a.

[A]

It's fun.

[B]

That's fun. It's a drexler Drexler.

[A]

Okay, so just wrong era. Luis Madrid. Jacqueline Hunt. Long Dong McShlong. Tom Mulroney got drunk and touched my character piece. It's what it is.

[B]

Okay. Funny.

[A]

Then we got Pseudo Penis Weekly.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. Like that. Then we got Moosey Surprise. Then we got Jack. My wife won't let me do a funny name. D. Namin.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. Colin K. Bradley. Billick. Fredley Sapstead. Freddie Sapstead. Justin Roshkal. Biz Nasty. Then we got Fumala Harris. AKA Laser Beam Leroy. We've had that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Good one though. Sean Bechdel. Then we got. Cuz he was Easies Muzzies Pager when Buzz he.

[B]

Way. I don't.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

Is that security to the list?

[A]

It went over my head. I did I walk into one again?

[B]

It's. But it's funny.

[A]

Cuz he was Cuzy Wuzzy. Muzzy's pager went buzzy.

[B]

Yeah. Cuz is the Mossad did a little operation where they sold pagers to Hezbollah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Ten years ago. And Walkie talkie. And then they exploded them all.

[A]

Yeah. Those kids are evil. Yeah.

[B]

So I don't know what to do here. Yeah.

[A]

List.

[B]

It's. Jesse wants the Jewish side of. Jesse wants it on the list. Jesse did it.

[A]

It's one of our first securities that's made the list.

[B]

Yeah. It's just the rhyme scheme and everything is too good.

[A]

Ash the dash. There we go. Okay. Then we got Yanni. Sees tits like a Venn diagram. Your eyes are too close together.

[B]

Holy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Put them on the list. Put them on the list. Holy.

[A]

It's a good one.

[B]

I mean, this is the imagination we're talking about, folks.

[A]

This is how you get. This is how you win.

[B]

This is how you become a. Those two are contenders.

[A]

Yeah. Tender Blumpkin Aaron.

[B]

Chicken Finger.

[A]

Chicken Finger. Then we got Steel Pipe. Kraut Monkey. Believe we've had that.

[B]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

Then we got Sneak a Peek from my Squeak Horny Hyena. The Leak.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

MC Ramon. Then we got Aoc Broke my glue gun when I leaked in her Muzzy Wuzzy. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Kenny Hogley. Then we got Kamala Harris. Hot Wheels. Dump Truck Ass. Okay.

[B]

Put him on the list for the funny fact.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then we got Juan David Gomez. Ben Sanford. Then we got Tommy. Tommy McKeehi. Rub my wee Wee Monkey AIDS Boy. Gigi Ping. Okay.

[B]

Okay. Went for for it.

[A]

Julio Samuel Harlo. Veronica Peon Me. His name's Peon Me.

[B]

Yeah. Very funny. Jets of Drexler Mike.

[A]

Too much Sash. Then we go. Were you there when Chrissy crucified my butt?

[B]

Okay. We've had versions of that.

[A]

Okay. Then she had a glue gun. And I liked it in the Buddha Chedge guy saying he's with trans.

[B]

Yeah, Put him on the list.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

[A]

Chrissy cream. Chrissy creams and Popeyes yammies.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Zach D. Medina. Bob. We got Ryan Portanga. Then we got.

[B]

Walked into what? Yeah, funny.

[A]

Then we got. Make no mistake, I'm white and my name is Tyrone. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. It's an interesting situation.

[A]

Okay. Ben Franklin's kinky lightning rod.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Donnie T. Is the real black Captain America.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. Jolis Go Kart.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

HH Nicholas Elliot Vega. Punch through fish stick. Kane Tanaka needs Bianca because she's dead.

[B]

Cuz I think calling your piece a punch through fish stick is pretty funny.

[A]

You like that one?

[B]

So that kid's get. Yeah. Calling it a killing. A punch through fish stick is very.

[A]

Funny Punch through fish stick.

[B]

So I'm giving it a. It's. It's a Drexler because of what we had before. And you want us to be recognized. I want you to be recognized. Recognized because we may adopt that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. I punched her out with my punch through fish. Yeah. Congratulations.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You might have made it into the history hyenas lexicon.

[A]

Then we got Weishan, Sheehan and tonic.

[B]

That's what the kid likes to drink. Drexler.

[A]

Okay. Matt Campion. Then we got Chrissy D. Watch Joey D. Stroke some D. Wei. Sean Sheehan.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Kim John. Fume. Nick Row.

[B]

King John Fume.

[A]

Kim John.

[B]

Put him on the list.

[A]

Kim Jong Fume.

[B]

Put him on the list. I haven't had it.

[A]

I haven't had it.

[B]

Instead of King John Oodie when King Jung Fu. Put him on the list.

[A]

Okay, great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Nick Ranney. Then we got Chrissy shoots glue.

[B]

Yeah. The mic's the mic. Jesse, what happened?

[A]

What is it doing? You're talking away. Okay, so keep it right here. Okay. Chrissy shoots glue and Tim Dillon is Q.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. Howie, Chrissy, Secret closet time. Zacombi, CJ Landolfi. The second tower. Okay.

[B]

Okay. Oh, Jesus. Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Walk.

[A]

Yeah. Sorry.

[B]

Ladder 14.

[A]

Yep. Make no mistake, it's for the table.

[B]

Table.

[A]

Skyler Holt. Refrigeration Vermonster. Jackie. Not prepescent. Not prepubescent, but got dick and balls for the table striker.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Drexler. Kamala Harris's knees. Me Wani Semiani, but no Suziki in my cheeky.

[B]

Put him on the list for the Funny Factor. Yeah. Strong list. Strong list today. Yes.

[A]

Jeffrey Dzesiak, Seth Black. Mary. Make no mistake, I'm really for Rome.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's supposed to call him Sandra D.

[A]

Sandra D. Jonathan Perillo, the Patreon member formerly known as Jesse. Funny Way Shan Shend the list for ppw. Okay, okay. Chrissy D. Caught sucking planos out of Aoc's ass.

[B]

You got to put them on the list, man. You just have to. I mean, what can you do? I mean, a genuine laugh. Gets a laugh.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Jack Dorney, Kevin Kelly, Julian. Then we got Chrissy Cock Goblo. Chrissy Cop Goblet Allah. Chrissy Cock Gobla. Alu Akbar.

[B]

He went for it.

[A]

Kabala Akbar. Sorry.

[B]

He's got. He's trying to.

[A]

With a Chrissy Cock gobbler.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Tough.

[B]

Tough one.

[A]

Honky donkey with a wonky dong. Avery Rose. When the tears fill your eyes When a girl splits her thighs, that's fumare.

[B]

That's a good one. But we had something very similar.

[A]

That's. Yeah, but it's good.

[B]

Drexler. Strong Drexler. There you go.

[A]

Pete Hafari. Brandon Brown. Sergio Guzman. Joe DeRose's baby shoulders. Cameron Smith. Tim Cantrell. Dylan. Half Jew, half Scandi Schvitz. Christina. Big Mike's Glue Gun. Prolapse. My Buddha, Chedge 2028.

[B]

Very funny. But Drexler, because of this list, okay.

[A]

Father Bill came to see me in a different way. Right. We've had that. But good stuff. Robbie Candler, George Blass, Troy Rudnick, 803 Jake. John McGinnis, Matty Boom Baddie Extra Chatty, Peppermint Pat. Daddy Like It. Nick Pellicione. Remember we had a Sauce Monkey award? Nick Pellicioni. You win the sauce monkey, you win it being Way Sean Sheehan with Jordan. Or, like, being Ian with Jordan? Their Shout Out. Their podcast. Yeah. Cuzzy with the little fuzzy fighting words. Ryan Pollock, Carlos Lepa, Andre Joe Hall, Chrissy Lean Cuisine. Thank you, come again, Kamala. Oh, thank you, come again. Come on, that's funny. Chrissy Callery, a cutie with hpv. And trust me, this booty hotel, this booty hole is lumpy. Oh, sorry. Bad read.

[B]

Well, it's funny because he's taken into the butt.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I give him a Drexler.

[A]

Okay. Kun Kun, the neen bean with a clean peen. Then we got Anastasia's Callanta Titus.

[B]

That's what you call the Greek Monkey.

[A]

The Diner Monkey.

[B]

The Diner Monkey Award.

[A]

Yeah. Mikey P. My Glue Gun Shoots Double ought. Buck Snot.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. Andy Treyer. Fat Maga Venetia, Jesse. Paint me like I'm a French girl.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Okay. Haifa Khalila, 801. Kevin Andrews. Make no mistake, the Cuck Commander Show. Bobs and Vagene Simmons, Alicia Davis. Holiday. Slim Gunner Blount. Nicholas Market Ashler. Zova Dizzo from down under. McChu's Asian Beaver. Real website. Okay. Screwed in. Girthmaster702. Nate Doppler. The Funky Snow Monkey.

[B]

Funky Snow monkey gets a nice chicken finger.

[A]

Yeah, I voted for Trump in California, but I'm Canadian. It's what it is.

[B]

Okay, that's. That's also a. That's funny.

[A]

Okay. Donnie. Donnie. Te's nussy. White man. Christ. Coming back to fill me up twice. Okay, Bon Nez, put him on the list.

[B]

Put on the list. All right, he's not going to win, but put him on the list.

[A]

Colton Dukes, Westy Blacketer, Luke Dawson, Ron. Put it in my Buddha. Ched Dell John, Nicholas Eaton. Hulk Hogan. Joe Rogan, Donald Trump. Peel my rum.

[B]

Okay, funny.

[A]

Garrett Jennings, Rob Wildo. Jarrett Evans Wright Wallace. Infidel Castro's Muzzy Love Child. Wow.

[B]

Great One list.

[A]

Infidel.

[B]

Infidel Castro. Yeah, Very good.

[A]

Anthony Frieda. I saw Smokey from Staten island just trying to AOC them titties. It's what it is.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

$3. Bill Mac and Father Bill Smega like it's feta. James Walker. Then we got corporate jockey getting their dirt star cracked open by Omar in the parking lot of a Daytona 7 11.

[B]

I'm sorry. List.

[A]

List.

[B]

I'm sorry. It's get. It's a heavy list. It's a heavy month. Heavy period month.

[A]

Mike Michael, Osama Bin Laden, Jordan, Silent Solo. Sam Sutton. Chris and Giannis are gay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's more of a state. Lewis Monroe, Damen Willis. Matt Gates me off. It's what it is.

[B]

That's a good one. Matt Gates. Instead of gets me off. Matt Gates me off. So you're getting a strong Drex to recognition.

[A]

Okay. Pete Pan Kid rocks. Cum sock.

[B]

Chicken finger. Okay, yeah.

[A]

Oscana B. The Ukrainian toot.

[B]

Good one.

[A]

Okay. Few more names.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Michael. True. He could also. He's a sauce monkey, but he didn't win the award.

[B]

You're sitting in the passenger seat of that plumbing vehicle. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Smoothie, cutie. 3% coin flip. Scott Mack. Krista Waddington. Slum dog. Laser beam. Nyari. Like what? Okay. All right. Sorry.

[B]

This Is South Asian kid Justin.

[A]

Brially, sir. White of Cuckenstein to Juventio way Sean King. Which we've had.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Scott K. Bob Edwards, Elizabeth Nath Nord, Fume 2 Methane Boogaloo, Joey B. Cracked me open and huffed me out. Trump 2024. Okay. Patty by balls. I guess they're saying like Patty flyballs, but patty by balls like it's his trans joke. Dave Sam Grove, John Allison, Big Richard Wangler, Fumari Stoudemire, which we've had. Jamie Lee. Make no mistake, Michelle Obama has a double pseudo tit. Until I see that birth certificate.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Okay, hyenas come hyenas comeback. Gave me my comeback. Hashtag beat E D. Okay. Voted Trump because I kept finding babies in the dump.

[B]

Jesus. Jesus Christ.

[A]

Spanky McNoodles, sign up to my only fumes.

[B]

Very funny.

[A]

Only fumes is funny fumes.

[B]

Very funny. Drexler. I mean the list is too strong.

[A]

Okay. Christopher Greer, Michael Morris, Peter Hawthorne, Daniel Poole. Two inch puddle of water Obama's love drowned in. Obama's lover drowned in right pool hole loophole. Father Bill cracked open my stink star sweating like a Leroy Muzzy cuz he what a fuzzy tucky Newport Ashes. They walked into wine that is security. Do not encourage that. And I walked right into one. Sorry about that. Okay, Carla Kovac. Chrissy's cracked open Black and Decker Pecker Weck Parker, Steve Prizio Fumar a lago Fumara lago. Have we had that?

[B]

No, I don't think so.

[A]

No.

[B]

List them.

[A]

You gotta list them then.

[B]

This is creating a trend.

[A]

Kyle Ducassin, Marcus Ruiz, unaboarded fetus.

[B]

Oh, Jesus walked in.

[A]

Sorry. Muhammad Salami, but a Fuko.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Drexler. Three seconds max. Mr. Muffy. Puffy's Franks and beans cuz he was he. Braxton Martin, Petey slices Bay Ridge Latino Cream King that make the boy swing. Chris Ortiz, well documented heavy bike. Richard Caruso here. I'll just do a few more. Then we. Then we got it. Okay. Neil Pyong, CEO, Smithtown Water cause. Okay. Jimbo Slice. Pat Faines knows where Michael's peen is. Okay. Chrissy D's creamy come cake. Said Tim Dillon three times to make him appear. But all I got was a real estate rant and cold sores.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Okay. Todd Levy, Nick Matt. Uncle Russell's first place cat. Okay.

[B]

Nice, nice welcome here. Yeah.

[A]

Estellia Alvarez, Jordan Haywood, Chris Cook, Shohei Otani's Hiroshima induced third ball. Walked into what?

[B]

Walked it away. But funny.

[A]

But funny.

[B]

Yeah, but funny.

[A]

Sorry about that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's what happens.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Radioactivity.

[A]

And then we got Alexandra. Oh, cracker. Open. Clean her out. Okay. Aoc. Vlad bombast. I'm Irish, so Big Mike is definitely bigger than me. Right? Yeah.

[B]

Chicken finger.

[A]

JFK shot first. It's 420. I miss you. It's an oldie drawback.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hunter Biden drained his glue gun on my tum tum. Alejandro. These muzzies walked into one again. Sorry about that, folks. Yeah. My hairy Hyman hammer will slam your pink salmon.

[B]

Very funny.

[A]

Yeah. Marinade. Wade, Casey Drool. And your gobble ghoul. Cold clutch. Cold cuts. Chiani. Chrissy said I was sweet of the week, then shot glue on my cheeks. Chrissy D's meat snorkel driving into me until go. Yp. All right. Sorry. Fuzzy cuz he wasn't muzzy and Muzzy cuz he had mad fumes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

TJ Lapipi, Johnny Tsunami. Extra fumare. Ruben Chavez, Han Schumann. Harrison Clayton, William Neal, Joshua Bliss. Mr. Love handles straight to the back where Uncle Ross puts his October Surprise.

[B]

Okay. He was going for something. Very funny.

[A]

Julia Shagnasty. Victoria Fernandino. Chris. Shout out to Squeaktown. Water. Cole Chapel.

[B]

Water is a chicken finger.

[A]

Chicken finger. Michael Medina, Mike M. My peace. Cause Chernobyl. Maximum fumes on a squeaked out potato pusher. New annual subscriber, so don't fuck this up again, guys. Jimmy Stink the Siggy Twink. And last but not least, we have mine Fuel humor.

[B]

List it. Holy. The last one might be the winner.

[A]

We last. We ended on mine humor, folks. Yeah, okay.

[B]

We never had that before.

[A]

We never had that.

[B]

The contender came in the last name.

[A]

The very last name. That was an interest. That's what. He got us to the end.

[B]

You gotta go all the way to the top.

[A]

All right, here we go. We're gonna start this off. Here are the. Here is the list for Mar A Lago contender. Contender still. Mar A Lago's in Infidel Castro's Muzzy Love Child.

[B]

Yeah, it's Drexler.

[A]

Drexler now. Okay. That's what they say.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Trudeau is Castro's love child.

[B]

All right. Okay. Yeah, that's right. Right.

[A]

Corporate jockey getting their dirt star cracked open by Omar in the parking lot of a Daytona 7 11.

[B]

Oh, that's Drexler. But it's a good one. Any other day. Guys. Guys.

[A]

White Man Christ coming back to fill me up twice.

[B]

Funny one. Drexler.

[A]

Drexler. Okay, so th. That's Drexler out. Yeah, Me wani some Yani, but no suziki in my cheekies.

[B]

Drexler. Funny.

[A]

Okay. Chrissy D. Caught sucking plantinos out of AOC's ass.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Drexler. But funny. Yeah, she had a glue gun and I liked it in the Buddha church.

[B]

Drexler. Just because all the booty checks. It's not his fault.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, so then we got. We got Kim Jong Fume contender. Contender still in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Kamala Harris's Hot Wheels dump truck ass.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Cuz he Wuzzy Muzzy's pager went buzzy. Contender. Okay. Yanni sees tits like a Venn diagram contender. Yeah, those are in still.

[B]

This is a Tuffy Wu.

[A]

This is a. This is a hard one. Okay, so we got contenders and you said Fomor Largo is also a contender, right?

[B]

Okay. Yeah. That's how we do it. Then you compare.

[A]

Okay, so. And then last but not least, M. Fumer contender. All right, so here we go. So I will read you out the contenders.

[B]

Okay. Mind Fumer is a tough one.

[A]

Fumar Lago.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Drexler. Fumaro.

[B]

Yeah, I know what they are.

[A]

You're out. Cuzy Wuzzy's Muzzy's pager went buzzy.

[B]

I hate to say it's a contender.

[A]

Still in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yanni sees tits like a Venn Diagram contender. Okay. Still in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

King John fumes.

[B]

King John fumes on any other. On any other day, but they are out.

[A]

Okay. All right, so they are out. And then mine Fumer. So we got. Okay, so the contenders are Mind Fumer. Yanni sees tits like a Venn diagram. And Cuzzy Wuzzy Muzzy's Pedro went buzzy.

[B]

Yeah. You know what the funny thing is? I think we always get this right. Yeah, I think we always get this right. Cuz I gotta say, I don't know what the to do with these three. I don't know what to do.

[A]

We're gonna have to go to a boat then.

[B]

I want them all to win. I don't know what to do with those three. Those are all hall of famers.

[A]

Well, I'm gonna tell you, the safest one to put out there in public is probably Yanni sees tits like a Venn diagram.

[B]

Just want to go with the safe one.

[A]

I mean, but are we safe or are we unsafe? We're not safe.

[B]

Kids. I know the. Can you just do the buzzer one one more time?

[A]

Cuz he Wuzzy Muzzy's pager one fuzzy. So that's A lot of wordski. But then Mind Fumor has just been right there since probably 2018. And it's. It's an easy one that no one's done.

[B]

We're gonna have to do a vote. That's it.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

I can't take the responsibility.

[A]

What do you got?

[B]

I. I like the Venn diagram one. That one just makes me laugh.

[A]

Okay. So. So Jesse actually likes the Venn diagram one.

[B]

Okay. What's you. I. Cuz then you'll win whatever it is. It doesn't matter what I think. I'm taking the responsibility off of me.

[A]

Here's what I'll say. Cuz he was he Muzzy's Pedro and Buzzy. I walked into it. I It. It. It. It deserves so much credit because of how it even went over my head.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And how it made. So that's when. That's when you know you have a real great. Because it's just exploding. It's not right there. You got to think about it. And then it starts to. So I like that. And then Mind Fumer is so right there. But if we're going to get specific. Specific. And we're gonna say that all those things are. Are great. They really are great. But Yanni sees tits like a Venn diagram is also a thinker because you have. There's multiple levels to it. You have to know what a Venn diagram is. And you have to know that your eyes are too close together. Right. I have to know you love tits and dick.

[B]

Right. So I'm gonna say go with the innocent fun too.

[A]

I'm gonna say. But it's not because I'm going safe.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because I think that it has the most layers and it is the best. Best. So my pick is Yanni sees tits like a Venn diagram.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

That's the ppw. Yanni C. Tits like a Venn diagram. You are the winner.

[B]

And you know, girl, you know I'm talking to you. Let's change Uncle Puzzle Uncle Fuzzy's puzzle basement to Uncle Russell's from last week. You've been defrocked.

[A]

You've been defrocked.

[B]

Your Crown is taken.

[A]

Patreon.comhistoryHyenas we got a bonus episode starting right now. So just go right there, babe.