Craving Kit Harrington | History Hyenas

Summary

History Hyenas Episode Summary

Episode: "Craving Kit Harrington"

Hosts: Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas

Air Date: June 25, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of History Hyenas finds Chris and Yannis in classic form: riffing hilariously on hot contemporary topics, their own personal lives (including Chris' recent wedding), celebrity encounters, history, and the culture clashes that define their unique comedic chemistry. Beginning with banter about marriage, GLP-1 drugs, and the power of craving, the podcast quickly swerves into encounters with Kit Harrington (aka Jon Snow from Game of Thrones), deep dives into actor typecasting, cultural loyalty, family food traditions, and the meaning of memory. Anchored by their trademark blend of irreverence, affection, and absurdity, the hosts keep things spontaneous and unpredictable — all delivered in their signature East Coast cadence.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Chris’ Post-Wedding Life & Recent Banter

• The show opens with Chris joking about being newly wed, and both sharing upcoming live show dates.
• They riff on relationship dynamics, like getting dragged to see bands you don’t like.
• Recurring joke: "We're here to eat shit" – a mantra for dealing with life’s small annoyances.
  "We're here to eat shit." – Chris (02:13)

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2. GLP-1 Medications, “Craving,” and Self-Improvement

• Chris describes his ongoing search for “solutions with no problems”— cycling off peptides and trying weight loss drugs like Zepbound, inspired by stepmom and celebrity use.
  "You seek solutions where there are no problems." – Yannis (03:57)
• They riff on how these drugs curb cravings, hilariously connecting Chris' multiple coffee runs (six by 2pm!) to his off-cycle.
• The idea of craving—food, attention, even people—becomes a running joke. "I like to crave. I like to crave you.” – Chris (06:38)

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3. The Cocoa Puffs Shirt & Old Navy Fashion

• Nick, their producer, is ribbed for wearing an “I’m cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs” shirt and Old Navy cargo shorts.
• This sparks a tangent about generational fashion, loyalty to discount brands, and childhood aesthetics.
• The Old Navy credit card bit becomes a long-running runner (07:26).

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4. Comedy, Typecasting, and the Jon Snow Question

(Key Segment: 09:39–14:51)

• Chris excitedly tells of seeing Kit Harrington (Jon Snow) at breakfast—so handsome he found himself too nervous to approach. "I actually was repelled by his handsomeness. I wanted to come up to you, but I was a little nervous that I would have sexually assaulted you." – Chris (09:39)
• The hosts pose the classic “typecast for life vs. versatile actor” question: would you rather be forever known as Jon Snow (Kit Harrington) or have the breadth of someone like Cliff Curtis?
• Yannis: "You get pigeonholed... it was the reason... Elaine and Jason Alexander got big money for the last seasons of Seinfeld—they knew they'd always be their characters." (12:22)
• They compare net worths: Kit's is $14M, Cliff's is $3M, and debate what’s truly valuable—recognition or range.

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5. Celebrity Fandom: Chris’ Awkward Move

(Key Segment: 14:19–16:27)

• Chris shares his fanboy move: lingering near Kit Harrington, hoping to be recognized while pretending to be on an important call.
• Explains he tried to “flex his jawline” and “inflate” his real estate deals.
• Yannis: “It’s surprisingly more gay than if you told me a guy fucked your asshole last night... it’s the amount of thought that goes into it.” (16:00)

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6. Childhood Glow-Ups & Memories

(Key Segment: 16:46–24:15)

• Chris recounts awkward childhood photos—described as looking “mentally handicapped or a cult kid.” “Either your mom prayed you in that way, or you’re here to punish bullies.” – Yannis (18:56)
• Discusses how childhood underdog status led to basketball prowess.
• Leads into memory, nostalgia, and why certain mundane moments stick. "Memories are stories your brain chooses... prioritizes what's important. Your subconscious filters everything." – Yannis (22:44)
• Conversation about brain vs. mind, and how becoming a parent can suddenly “unlock” long-buried feelings.

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7. NBA Trades, Ethnic Identity, and Culture

(Key Segment: 28:26–31:57)

• Discussion on Giannis Antetokounmpo’s (the “Greek Freak”) trade to the Miami Heat.
• Explores how Greek culture has embraced Giannis despite his race—a profound “cultural honor.” "He's so Greek that Greeks have put aside the fact that he's black... that's how good he is." – Chris (28:56)
• Commentary on New York sports, Mediterranean family values, and the meaning of representation.

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8. Wedding Vows, Cultural References, and Family

(Key Segment: 32:09–37:43)

• Chris shares how he worked New York Knicks’ Puerto Rican player Jose Alvarado into his wedding vows to win over his wife’s family.
• Jokes about wedding planning, family feedback, and “the real way” Greek and Italian weddings go—epic food spreads and hospitality.
• "Nobody's coming to my house and leaving hungry." – Yannis (37:33)

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9. Food Culture: Italian & Greek Banquets

(Key Segment: 38:05–45:25)

• Yannis describes the most legendary Italian wedding feast he ever saw: “The hallway to cocktail hour was stations of gourmet food; an ice sculpture full of seafood… before dinner.”
• They riff on regional and family food obsessions—grandmothers' secret recipes, rice ball rivalries, and “never washing your hands” as the secret to great sauce.
• "Italians are really serious about their meatballs." – Yannis (43:51)

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10. Soccer, Fame, and Scandal

(Key Segment: 55:19–59:36)

• Debates about Messi vs. Ronaldo, soccer’s global fame (compared to U.S. sports), and why Americans don’t know soccer legends.
• Iconic story: old-school Ronaldo’s Brazilian scandal with trans women, delivered with the show’s usual irreverent humor.

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11. Miscellaneous Hyena-isms

• Barbershop culture and men's fashion – old-school Italian barbers, feeling “safe” and manly while getting a haircut.
• Yannis reflects on “becoming more religious” as you get older—“Give me a little lubricant for the afterlife.”
• Closing with their Patreon "Matriarch" list: reading out new members' NSFW joke names in a mock-competition for the best nickname.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On cravings and self-improvement:
  "You seek solutions where there are no problems." — Yannis (03:57)
  "I like to crave. I like to crave you.” — Chris (06:38)

• On celebrity encounters:
  "I actually was repelled by his handsomeness... I was nervous that I would have sexually assaulted you." — Chris, on Kit Harrington (09:39)

• On acting careers:
  "You get pigeonholed... It was the reason Elaine and Jason Alexander got big money for those last seasons of Seinfeld." — Yannis (12:22)

• On typecasting:
  “Jon Snow’s worth $14 mil, Cliff’s $3 mil... Just because I can buy more houses, I’m going Kit." — Chris (12:11)

• On childhood:
  "You truly looked like you were special, like mentally handicapped." — Yannis, roasting old photos of Chris (16:52)

• On Giannis Antetokounmpo and Greek identity:
  "He's so Greek that the Greek people put aside the fact that he's black and accept him as a Greek hero." — Chris (28:56)

• On food culture:
  "Nobody's coming to my house and leaving hungry or without options." — Yannis (37:33)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:13] – Life Mantras: “We’re here to eat shit.”
• [03:57] – GLP-1 Meds & Cravings: “You seek solutions where there are no problems.”
• [09:39] – Kit Harrington Encounter: “Repelled by his handsomeness…”
• [12:22] – Acting Careers: Pigeonhole vs. Range
• [16:52] – Childhood Glow-Up & Family Roasts
• [22:44] – How Memory Works & Nostalgia
• [28:56] – Giannis, Greece, and Race: “Put aside that he’s black…”
• [37:33] – Family Hospitality: Italian Feasts
• [45:10] – Meatballs & Restaurant Authenticity
• [55:36] – Soccer Scandals & Fame Gaps
• [62:28] – Patreon Nickname Competition

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Tone, Style, and Takeaways

The tone is fast-paced, raunchy, affectionate, and deeply rooted in the cultural melting pot of urban America. Joking about everything from body issues and celebrity obsession to ethnic pride and family fights over meatballs, Chris and Yannis blend irreverence with surprisingly sharp insight.

If you missed the episode:

• Expect wild, free-associative banter with deep-dive comedic asides.
• The heart of the show is still about the odd, lovable ways history, culture, and personal quirks collide.
• Standout moments are the Kit Harrington craving saga, old-photo-roast, and the sincere admiration for family food traditions.

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Bottom line:
Classic Hyenas: big laughs, honest vulnerability, sharp observational humor, and a reminder that “craving” — whether for food, fame, or friendship — is part of being human (and hilarious, when dissected by two history-obsessed “smoothie-drinking cuties”).

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12 month savings of 946dol by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025. Potential savings will vary. What's up everybody? We got a great episode for you today. We just went wild. Chrissy got married two days ago. We also continue that conversation at patreon.com history hyenas where we tell some wild fun stories. See me in Atlantic City this weekend. Also East Hampton, Austin, wherever else I'm going to be. Giannispappascomedy.com all right.

[A]

Yeah. And you could see me at July 10th and 11th, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania August 21st, 22nd, Portland, Maine. Christycomedy.com I got a bunch of more dates up there. As we get into the fall and winter, enjoy this episode and enjoy hearing about my wedd. Right? You know which band?

[B]

Some heavy, like rock. Heavy metal band.

[A]

She's like, do you want to go?

[B]

She goes, do you want to go? And I was like, don't ask me that question. I don't want, I don't want to see that band. No, I never wanted to see it. And then she gets mad for that. And I said, I want to go for you. If you want to go, I'll go. And she's like, and I'm so just get the tape tickets. And then I'm out another 500. It's like, it is what it is. It's what it is. But then they raise your kids and they do other shit, right? So it's like, what can you do?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they we're here to eat shit.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

We're here to eat shit.

[A]

So that's what it is. The episode has started.

[B]

No, we can't put up now.

[A]

No, I mean Jesse hit the clock. If Jesse hits the clock, we have going and it's nice to not. We're gonna go flow and again we, we, we're gonna get into some history. We don't know what the topic is, but we're gonna figure it out on the fly. I've been holding in a shift, so it's nice to be playing for something.

[B]

I like playing with some.

[A]

I'm playing for something. I've also took a ketone IQ shot. So my brain is locked in on your tiny little head. On your tiny little. Your head's like a bulb of a flower.

[B]

You know what I like? The thing about you that's fun is there's always something to play for because you have what they call a. In the old neighborhood, they call it a woman's bladder. That's what it is. You pee like 10 times an hour.

[A]

Yeah, I got a woman's bladder. Cuz telling you about this. I'm telling you right now, cuz I'm coming in. First of all, Chrissy Aris is at it again. Remember how I was talking about peptides? Well, I've been off him for the last five weeks over.

[B]

Not a shock to me.

[A]

I did 12 weeks of peptides.

[B]

What are we on now?

[A]

So now I'm on five weeks off. But so what I'm thinking about doing is because I was on these illegal ones called red or true type. But what I'm thinking about doing, I was talking to my stepmother and she's on Zepbound, which is the one Shaquille o' Neal and Oprah Winfrey on. And she's telling me she's having good results. So I got an appointment tomorrow. I think I'm just. I think I'm gonna go back to an old school GLP1 and do a little thing called Zepbound or row, the one that Serena Williams takes. And I'm gonna get right back in the saddle on Pepys. But this time I'm going through a. It's basically fat people medicine. That's what I'm taking.

[B]

You know what I love about you, cuz? You know what makes you fun?

[A]

Tell me.

[B]

You seek solutions where there are no problems.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

And that's what I like about you.

[A]

That's what it. That's a good way to say it.

[B]

You seek solutions where there are no problems. Yeah, I. Physically. You look great.

[A]

No, but I don't feel good and I want to feel good like my stepmom. Yeah, I'm. I'm going to go on the weight loss drug of Charles Barkley.

[B]

Cuz I just got a question. Does your stepmom go to super cuts?

[A]

Yes, she does. That's a number seven, guys.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

You forgot. Make absolutely no mistake. You forgot to put on a shirt. Today you're wearing an undershirt.

[B]

I wear an undershirt.

[A]

You're wearing an undershirt out here. You should have put a shirt on over that. But you said.

[B]

No, no, no. I got an undershirt on. Today. I came out. Yeah. You know, I. Today I look like a French guy in the 1700s that was woken up in the middle of the night.

[A]

It's.

[B]

What? I'm just coming out my nightgown.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm in a nightgown.

[A]

You are in a nightgown.

[B]

White.

[A]

On a rainy day, you are in a nightgown. And Nick is in his shirt that says Cocoa Puffs. Nick has a shirt on that says Cocoa Puffs. He's a grown man. He's got a Cocoa Puff shirt on and cargo shorts.

[B]

Yeah. Nate. I mean, Nick is just in a happy place because Nate Bargazi's going down.

[A]

It'. Yeah. Why is Nate. Is he not a Nate fan?

[B]

Nate is just. Nate was photographed somewhere he shouldn't be photographed.

[A]

Oh, who?

[B]

I know. No, I don't know.

[A]

People really care. Yeah. Oh, yes. Because of Trump. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not a Donald Trump supporter.

[B]

Not enjoy a UFC match if you're in the presence of Donald Trump. Yeah. It's everywhere.

[A]

Fascist photos. Shut up with the fascist. Oh, my God. Whatever, dude.

[B]

Because, you know, it's funny.

[A]

I got a fucking ring on.

[B]

Yeah. The funny thing is, if this was even, like, a big something, I don't have enough room in my life to care about it.

[A]

No, because you got a tiny head. You only got a certain amount of room in that skull.

[B]

Yeah. And right now, it's being. It's full of the shrouded turin.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

I can only do one thing at a time. I got room for one thing at a time. Maybe that's why you got 100 things going on, because you got room for 100 days.

[A]

I got too many things in my head. You know what I've noticed, too, about getting off GLP1s, and I'm excited to get back on them, is I've been drinking too much coffee. When I got off these GLP1s, all my coffee cravings came back. When I'm on GLP1s, I only drink about one or two coffees a day, but it is right now 2:10pm and I've already had six.

[B]

What I love about I like to crave.

[A]

I'm a craver because I crave things. And that's what the GOP wants help me with. I don't. I Don't crave as much right now. I've been five weeks off and I'm craving. I got a craving.

[B]

You like to crave.

[A]

I like to crave.

[B]

You like to seek and crave.

[A]

I like to crave you. Yeah.

[B]

You don't even like to hunt. You like to.

[A]

He likes to crave that ass. Mr. Dahlia, he.

[B]

He needs.

[A]

Why the fuck are we not putting GLP ones to the vents in here?

[B]

I just.

[A]

How do we get it in his body?

[B]

I don't know. I think we got to hold him down and just stick it in him.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

I think that's the only way.

[A]

What do you crave?

[B]

I just. I just can't get over. I'm still caught at the Cocoa Puff shirt. It really made me laugh.

[A]

You just noticed now? We've been sitting with Nick for two hours.

[B]

I notice it. I don't usually look at people's fashion, and he's got a Cocoa Puff shirt,

[A]

and it says, I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

[B]

Yeah. It's just very funny. It's a very funny thing.

[A]

It's what we call a snap benefits purchase.

[B]

Yeah. And it just. You know, it's just very funny. And he also has, like, a. Every color of Old Navy cargo shorts.

[A]

100.

[B]

I mean, the kid went to Old Navy and he did the whole rack in every color.

[A]

Because when I take a look at Nick, I know one thing for sure. He has an Old Navy credit card card.

[B]

He's got.

[A]

There's no way he does it.

[B]

They. He gave his phone number that first time for that 10 discount. And from now on, it's that Old Navy credit card that he's constantly behind on.

[A]

It's just what it is. And he's got a Chrissy Chaos hat on. Fireman's hat, which I appreciate. And if you guys want to see me, go to Christy comedy dot com. Helium Comedy Club, July 10th and 11th. I'm mentioning it early on in the show because I just got an email from the promoter asking me to come in early to do press. So that's not a good sign.

[B]

And I will be in Atlantic City this weekend, which I've barely mentioned. And I, too, also will probably have to go to Dupress or hand out

[A]

flyers for the show. It's what it is. Now this. Now you're doing that Atlantic City comedy club, which I was supposed to be doing at the end of August, but I was told by the owner that yours is the last weekend, and then they're closing the club down, and that is A truthy woothi. That is a truthy wuthie. I got an email saying no shows have been canceled because the club is closing.

[B]

Oh. So that might have something to do with it. You might not be putting that much effort into it.

[A]

So you are the final weekend of the AC Comedy Club or one of them.

[B]

You just never know with Emilio, huh?

[A]

He giveth and he taketh away, but it's very funny. And I kind of like living in that lane. And it's what it is, folks. Now you listen to me and you listen to me good. Kate. Kate Craver, you listen to me good. I'm craving you. When I. When I saw I. I was outside where we filmed the podcast and I saw Jon Snow, Kit Harrington sitting outside having breakfast. And the kid is a squeak big, but he's a handsome, handsome, handsome kid. And I was really thinking about going up to him and just introducing myself and seeing if I can get a pick. But it's one of the only times that this has happened where I actually was repelled by his handsomeness. And I got too nervous to even get close to him because I just saw to this guy. I said, he's a beautiful man. And I said, I don't want to have. Because I'm just now finally, after months and months and months getting over Ryan Sirhant and I'm realizing that I actually was in love with him. And so I'm just getting past that now. So I didn't want to fall in love with yet another guy. So Kit Harrington, if you're listening to this podcast, which I know that you are, just know that I wanted to come up to you, but I was, I was a little nervous that I would have sexually assaulted you.

[B]

Now I want to ask you guys a question, everybody, and you can answer first. Would. Is it worth it for you to take a role. Would you hypothetically take a legendary role like Jon Snow and just be known as Jon Snow for the rest of your life? Or would you rather have a career like say, who's an actor who's known for many some.

[A]

Daniel Day Lewis.

[B]

Yeah. Or no, but that would. Because you. Everyone's going to choose Daniel Day Lewis. There's a lot of lesser known actors that are really good. I just can't think of their names. So that's kind of Bobby Khanavale, something like that.

[A]

He's a great actor.

[B]

Yeah. Or like. Or there's this guy, he's like a Spanish dude who does like a Hispanic guy. Who.

[A]

Javier Bardem?

[B]

No. You know who I'm talking about he, like, can do anything. And like, he's like, there was a Pascal. Somebody made a YouTube video of him doing all these roles. And you're like, that guy. And you're like, oh my. You. He's so good. You almost forget that it.

[A]

He's.

[B]

That, that's the same guy.

[A]

And I've definitely 1000 would know him 100%. And his name's Hector.

[B]

He was in Training Day and he played a cholo. And. And then he's like, you see him doing Shakespeare. It's crazy.

[A]

Is that Michael. Isn't his name Michael? Cliff Curtis.

[B]

Cliff Curtis.

[A]

Cliff Curtis. Oh, I thought that guy. I thought that guy was a Middle Eastern guy.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know that guy.

[A]

That guy. This guy is in True Lies.

[B]

Dude, he's so good. He's like Daniel Day Lewis level good. He just doesn't.

[A]

Oh, and he's from New Zealand.

[B]

From New Zealand.

[A]

And he's Maori.

[B]

He's Maori because those are Maori.

[A]

Are one of like the first people.

[B]

Yeah. And it's like he played a cholo. It's like, it's crazy how good an actor he is. Would you rather be that guy and just continue and be able to do all these roles or would you rather just be called Jon Snow for the rest of your life? There's nothing you can do about it. I had no idea his name was Cliff Peterson.

[A]

Let's.

[B]

I just don't know what his name is.

[A]

Simple. Cliff Curtis. Go, Cliff Curtis. Net Worth vs. Kit Harrington Net worth. And let's see the difference. Let's see how many houses we can move in and out.

[B]

That's a good point.

[A]

First. Okay, so Cliff is worth three schmill. Yeah. And now let's go. Kit Harington is gonna have a. Is gonna be a little Kit Harrington net worth. There we go. And let's pull that up right there. And then the answer we have 3 mil versus 14 mil. So I actually expected more from Kit Harrison. I thought it was going to be worth more than that. But he's about over four times the net worth. So I'm going to go with Kit just because I know that there's so many more houses I can buy.

[B]

You got to remember the mortgages, big cash and they had to pay a

[A]

lot of people 7,750grand in epi weppy is what they got at the height of it. And then really hasn't been in anything major since then. Isn't that freaking wild?

[B]

Well, because that's my point. You get pigeonholed as Jon Snow. It's very hard for. It's very hard for an audience to see you. It was the reason, actually, why Elaine. I saw this whole interview. Why Elaine?

[A]

Julia Louis Dreyfus, Kramer.

[B]

See, I don't even know their name.

[A]

I'm just Julia Louis Dreyfus. Michael Richards, who. I'm a big fan of early work.

[B]

Elaine and Jason Alexander. So what they did in that last season or two, they got together and they actually, they said, okay for us to continue the show. This is the reason they actually gave. They go, we're sacrificing. We're going to be known as these characters for the rest. So you got to make it financially worth it. The risk of us doing this, we feel like it's got to be financially worth it for us to give up, like not being seen as these characters.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So I actually, that's exactly what they said.

[A]

So they. What did they wind up getting?

[B]

Getting a big money. But that was their. That was the reason for doing it.

[A]

Not a bad. Not a bad reason.

[B]

And I think it was like a million episode or something like that for 22.

[A]

Julia Dreyfus was huge. And Veep.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But again, that's an HBO show. I don't know how much money you

[B]

paid, but you saw Kramer and Jason Alexander, like, tried so many other things and nothing worked.

[A]

Jason Alexander was great. And Pretty Woman.

[B]

Yeah. Do you remember what's his name? Tried. So they all tried Michael Richards. No. From Friends. They all like Chandler. Tried a bunch of shows. I just even called him Chandler.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, it just. You get pigeonholed and then you're that guy for the.

[A]

Jennifer Aniston's the only exception I could. Jennifer became a movie star.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she was doing. No, but she was kind of doing those movies while the show was around a little after.

[A]

But she's the one rule breaker because

[B]

he's known as Jennifer Aniston.

[A]

Right, right, right, right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She's in a lot of stuff, but Lisa Kudrow, Phoebe.

[B]

Yeah, it just.

[A]

Monica's Courtney. I mean, Courtney Cox will. I mean, she'll just get clean.

[B]

She'll get cleaned. But with a show, you run that risk of like. I think people go there. I think if people saw him, they'd go, there's Jon Snow.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

I don't think they. I don't think most people even know his name is Kit Harrington.

[A]

No. I was going to walk up to him and I almost said to him, johnny Snow. I almost called him Johnny Snow. And people I saw and When I did, I did like a really kind of thing. Like a girl. Like, I acted like it was a girl. I was on the phone. I was actually on the phone talking to my real estate broker. And I was on the phone with him. And I didn't need to be standing where he was standing cause he was eating outside. But I chose to stand there anyway and not look at him. Because what I was hoping was, is that somebody would recognize me and then that would pique their interest and I would be invited to sit down on his lap, is what I did. I made a move like a hot chick.

[B]

Yeah, these are. These are thoughts that actually. This is what was going through your brain.

[A]

This is 1000% not a lie. This is what I was doing. And I was standing there and I tried. What I did also is I stood in a way because I don't like my left side. So I stood on my right side, which I think shows off my jaw a little bit better. And I was. Had my hand. Arm in my pocket and I was flexing my arm. I had. I was making a fist. So I was trying to get the forums going. While I was also on the phone, my real estate broker and I. Every time he would talk about something, I would inflate it. I would inflate and I would say, so they could do six mil. And I was hoping on the off chance that one of these security guards or construction workers would notice me and say, chrissy. And they would look up and then I would kind of shoot them a look and see if, you know, say, oh, this happens to me all the time. Something like that.

[B]

And then get into.

[A]

I didn't want any opportunity from Kit Harrington.

[B]

I just wanted to meet him.

[A]

I just wanted to be close to him. And I wanted to shake his hand. I wanted to feel how soft his hands were. That's what. But I was really. I was repelled back by his handsomeness.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So that's gay to you?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, it's. It's surprisingly more gay than if you told me a guy fucked your asshole last night. And I don't know why. I don't. It's just the amount of effort and the thought that goes into it. I don't even know if I could call it gay. It's like. I don't think it's.

[A]

It.

[B]

What is that? It's a woman. It's like a woman's brain. It was thought. It's a woman's thought process.

[A]

Yeah. And it's interesting because it's.

[B]

It's A lot of thoughts going on.

[A]

One of those thoughts. And I just had those thoughts. And it was. And it took over about 30 to 40 minutes of my life. And I've been constantly thinking about it where, you know, the piece at my wedding in the orange dress, I just thought about for three seconds. It just moved the other way. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Do you think it's because. Now here's the fun. You're so fun.

[A]

You're so funny.

[B]

As a case study, because you sent us pictures of what you looked like when you were like 12.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Or something, and you. You truly looked right. Like, send it to you, Jeff.

[A]

Did I send it to you already? Okay.

[B]

You look like you were truly special, like truly mentally handicapped.

[A]

Right? Right. Yeah.

[B]

Like, if I saw you, like, look at that.

[A]

Yeah. And then people say that I looked like, you know, Ben Stiller, Simple Jack.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, let's just scroll back up.

[A]

Yeah. What about those sneaks, cuz?

[B]

I mean, listen, listen.

[A]

That was at the Catalpa ymca. Ridgewood Summer Camp.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, what do you think of that?

[B]

Well, I think this is either the kid who has special needs, like, for real, I'm not even making a joke. Like, right. This is a kid who's in like a learning disabled situation or who was brought up in a cult. Right? You look like a cult kid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe you were like a Heaven's Gate kid or like something heavy. Not even like a well known code. I'm not talking Scientology. I'm talking like somewhere off in the Midwest, like a Mormon cult kid.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So you're either a cult kid or someone who's waiting to go bowling.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you turned into a very handsome kid.

[A]

So you're saying that you don't think my camp counselors saw what was coming?

[B]

I find it hard to believe that the priest made a move on you.

[A]

Yeah, it's just what it is. Right. Cause that is. I'm not. You know, I've made this joke before, but this is actual. This is accurate. That is a number four at the Lemon Tree. That haircut is. My mom pointed out, we'll take the number four, like off a dollar menu. And that's the haircut. And I had a full lemon tree bowl cut. The lemon tree was on Myrtle Avenue.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In between Forest Avenue and Steven Street. That's just where the Lemon Tree was and where I used to get haircuts. Yeah. So that. And that. I had my shirt tucked in and I remember having those shorts and those sneakers were just Brutes.

[B]

Goots.

[A]

Right.

[B]

No, the sneakers are okay. It's, you know, you just. Your proportions. You were a kid who was programmed. Whatever your DNA was, you were programmed to come to fruition when everything grew in.

[A]

So.

[B]

So you're saying, look at how big your ears are. Right.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And then now they look small.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because it hadn't.

[A]

So you think there 1,000%. You believe my mother, Lynn Disteano, prayed this version into me. You think she prayed the gay out and the handsome in?

[B]

It's only two options, Right? Right. Either your mom prayed you in that way, or this is you are one of those people that God places on the earth to punish bullies.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

Because this kid's getting bullied.

[A]

Bullied.

[B]

This kid's getting bullied big. And then when you get older, it reverses.

[A]

So you may just be.

[B]

To teach the lesson to the bullies. Right?

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah. It just may be your purpose on the.

[A]

The thing about this kid is look like that. And I think it was the only thing that was advantageous to me is what people don't know is this kid was, you know, being taken down to Farmer's Oval park with a broom that my father had written Leroy on. And I was taking a thousand jump shots a day. And I would get underestimated and score 10 on you quick in the first quarter because I would bang out some threes and get some kind of N1, because my dad knew the only way that my kid's gonna be able to survive this is if he has a decent jump shot.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So this kid did have a good jump shot. That's the thing about could play ball. If so if I was. If I didn't look like that, I don't know if I would have been able to play ball.

[B]

You know what else I noticed about you? You got really long arms. Have you ever noticed that?

[A]

That's what all my. When I was a kid, they would call me the orangutan. I was always getting even. Antony from Badass Anthony would always say, it's tough to make my arms more muscular because they're so long.

[B]

Yeah, you got long arms. So you truly were put together with different parts.

[A]

With different parts. Yeah.

[B]

You got like. The parts don't match.

[A]

Next to the arms are like a guy from Senegal.

[B]

Yeah, your arms, like, really long. It's almost like down to your knee, almost.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

I was looking at that picture we took at your wedding, and I. First time I really noticed, I was like, the kids got long, like Owl and Iverson arms. So I Would.

[A]

I was good at basketball. Get. I would get, like, steals. I could pick and I could just get the jumper over guys who are much taller than me because of the length of my arm. Yeah, I would just get it past a normal kid.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, this was. This is when you were still cooking this.

[A]

I'm still cooking.

[B]

You were still cooking?

[A]

Yeah, See, I cooked this kid jerked off into his belly button a lot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I would always get sore throats.

[B]

Yeah. You were still cooking at this age? I fully cooked. And since then I've just been rotten out on the table.

[A]

It's just what it is.

[B]

This is.

[A]

Yeah, you're like a avocado.

[B]

I'm just an avocado that's been sitting out there too long.

[A]

This is. This is 1996. This.

[B]

96.

[A]

So what were you in 96? Were you in college?

[B]

I would have picked this kid up and put him on a tree.

[A]

What?

[B]

It is 1996. I was a jacked adult.

[A]

It's what you want. What, 18?

[B]

I was. No, I wasn't jacked. No, no, no, I wasn't 18. I was. Yeah. Yeah, I was about. Yeah, I was in college. No, I was in college.

[A]

College.

[B]

Yeah, that was in. I was like a freshman or so.

[A]

Yeah, I was in day camp. Yeah, I was 12.

[B]

Yeah, I was jacked at that point, I think, because I started, like, lifting. That's when I was my strongest was at college.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, that's when I would have taken this kid and fucking thrown him into a goddamn tree.

[A]

So wild, too. Like, there's so many memories I don't have of, like, things that I thought would be profound in my life, but for some reason, one of my friends sent me this picture. And like, I remember this day like it was just a random day at the park. Like nothing extraordinary happened. But a picture was taken. And I remember it. Cause so many pictures I see, I'm like, I don't remember that at all. It's fascinating about the memory. Like, why. Do we have any inside info as to why memories of mundane things stick in your head? When some. There are times where, like, I've been at games I've told you about, and I'm like, I don't even remember being there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is it the phone? Is it a distraction to the phone?

[B]

No. Well, overall. You mean, like, why, like, to kids

[A]

who are 12 years old, are they going to have less memories because they're half distracted by the phone? Where at that time we didn't have any devices.

[B]

Your brain even before the phones, just. Memories are stories. Like your brain tells us. Your brain doesn't remember reality as it is. Your brain remembers it a story and it prioritizes with that. Unconsciously. It prioritizes. This is important information. This isn't. It's sort of like a power saving. It's almost like an energy savings built in mechanism.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's sort of you, you. Your. Your subconscious filters out.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And then even at night when you're sleeping, there's a fluid that comes in, like washes your brain and like clean and. And while you're sleeping, they know now that like your brain is arranging the feelings, the thoughts and telling the story for your.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So everything you remember is not remembered accurately as you.

[A]

That's very interesting. Yeah.

[B]

And that's why you only remember certain things because for some reason and you deem that important and other stuff not.

[A]

But there are ways, like neuroscientists and these people know like there are ways to access hidden memories. Right. There are techniques and stuff you can do.

[B]

Yeah, well, it's weird. They don't understand fully. They understand the brain, they don't understand the mind because the mind and the brain are two different things.

[A]

And I see a lot of studies now saying that they think a lot of the mind is in the gut and not in the brain.

[B]

Yeah, well, it speaks to what we were talking about before the podcast. Like, what is consciousness? It's more of an open question now than it was. And that's not fringe to say. I mean, it's something people are discussing now and they're kind of baffled by it. But yeah, it's a, it's an interesting thing. It's an interesting thing. For example, like I didn't remember any of my childhood for which was weird. And then I had kids and I was like flooded with these memories that I wasn't choosing, which was weird.

[A]

Weird.

[B]

Yeah, like I wasn't choosing to have a flash of a memory. They were just coming.

[A]

Coming out. Yeah, well, like you start to. When you have kids, you start to relive your like. Like Halloween and Christmas really wasn't that big a deal for you for 30 years. And then it all of a sudden becomes a big deal again. And then. And then that must unlock something in the head.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, but for me, it was

[B]

unlocking like uncomfortable feelings. It was uncomfortable. Like things were like just. And it was just flooding out.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I wasn't choosing have this thought. It was almost like I had built this thing.

[A]

Right. This.

[B]

Built this Persona.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I Was. It was just. And then I had kids and like. Like my whole reality like came undone about who I thought I was or what I thought. And I had to face a bunch of memories and feelings that. And my. For whatever reason, my kids sp. Like being with my kids sparked that. Chrissy, tell me about Quo.

[A]

Please. Please. Cuz I. What I'll tell you about Quo is first of all it's spelled Q U O. Okay. Or I like to spell it S, P Y. And if your team's communication is messy, customers feel it. Okay?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo. Q U O. The business communication system built so you never miss a call. Wow. Okay.

[B]

Are you telling me cuz that your entire team can handle calls and texts from one shared number?

[A]

That's what I'm telling you guys.

[B]

So no more missed messages or dropped conversations ever happen?

[A]

Nope.

[B]

That everyone sees the full thread, replies are faster and customers actually feel taken care of 100%.

[A]

And cuz it's amazing. I really like Quo. It's not just a phone system, it's smart one. Okay. AI automatically logs the calls, generate summaries and they've never gotten one order wrong. Every time I order extra duck sauce, it's in there, right?

[B]

So listen, this is amazing. Calls, text, voicemails, transcripts, contact details, all in one clean view. So your team always has has the full picture and can show up for every customer conversation, ensuring a seamless and more personalized experience.

[A]

Money is on the line. Always say hello with Quo. Try Quo for free. Plus get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to Quo.com hyenas that's Q U O.com hyenas cuz Pesty, I want to talk to you about Pesty. Listen guys, there's a lot of bugs in my house.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there's a lot of bugs in my neighborhood. And Pesty is the only company that gets rid of over 100 types of bugs from spiders to ants to roaches, scorpions to bugs you didn't even think were gonna come around you. And they did.

[B]

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[A]

Nope.

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[A]

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[A]

Now what are you waiting for? Fix your bug problem before it gets worse. Go to pesti.com hyenas for an extra 10% off your order today. That's P E S T-I-E.com hyenas for an Extra 10% off. No more bugs. Now let me ask you this. Cause, because I know this is, you know, it'd be a couple of days old by the, you know, time this comes out. But I just have to ask you because it's big Greek news with Giannis Antonpukukuku getting traded to the Miami Heat. How do you feel about that? Are you okay with the Greek freak moving to Miami?

[B]

I. I'm very happy for him because, I mean, anytime anyone can get out of Milwaukee and go to Miami, it's just a great day. I mean, the kid is a Greek. Make zero mistake. Him and his brothers are as Greek as Greek can get.

[A]

Like real Greeks.

[B]

They are real Greeks.

[A]

Like, he does not like Turkish people.

[B]

He is so Greek. It's like he's crazy Greek. He goes to Greece. He lives in Greece. He. He's a hero in Greece. He's. He's just so culturally Greek, so Greek.

[A]

He's so Greek that the Greek people have put aside the fact that he's black.

[B]

That's a good way to Greek culture.

[A]

It's just, to be honest with you,

[B]

good way to put it. Yeah. Yeah, good way to put it.

[A]

Because for them, that's a. That's a very, very high honor. Because for the Greeks to put aside the fact that he's black and accept him as a Greek hero is big.

[B]

It's. It's very unlikely, right? It's very unlikely, right? It's like the New York Knicks, what the experts predicted for the New York Knicks, they didn't predict they were gonna win the championship is very unlikely, very unlikely.

[A]

So that if you don't know anything about sports but you know about culture, know that that is how good Giannis Antentin Kapupu, the Greek freak, isn't basketball is that the Greek citizens of mainland Greece have put aside the fact that he's black and honor him as a Greek.

[B]

They honor him.

[A]

That's all you need to know.

[B]

That's all you need to know. They love the fact that he's so Greek and he's.

[A]

Right.

[B]

He's not like, I guess, genetically Minoan or whatever, right? So it's. He's so Greek and he loves being Greek.

[A]

Like, that's awesome.

[B]

He's in Greek.

[A]

And Miami fits more of a Greek culture than. Right. Miami got the heat. You got, like, you're beautiful by the islands. I think that he'll be a good fit here. I do. I will say they had to give up Tyler Herro to get him, which I get. And I know they're saying, well, it

[B]

was a black guy for a black guy. It was two black guys that aren't really black guys. Right.

[A]

That's just what it is.

[B]

What it is.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

Even trade.

[A]

Right, Right. And that. And that's what you need to understand as well, isn't this interesting, is if Tyler Herro was Tyler Heronokis, but he was like, the same person, the Greeks would still accept Giannis more than Tyler Hero. If Tyler Hero is Greek because Tyler Herro is acting black, people just don't like that. Unless you're Giannis Anton Kampoopu, then they really like that. So it's a very. It's nuanced, it's human behavior. But I can tell you it's fun,

[B]

fun, fun, though, isn't it?

[A]

It's fun, fun, fun. And I can tell you with 100% certainty that Greeks like Giannis more than Tyler. So it's.

[B]

Giannis is a good family man.

[A]

Great family man, has good values. Good values. And he's so kind of profound. And he feels like he lives life for the right reasons. Like, even with winning and losing, he doesn't. You know, it's very American about you. If you win, if you don't, you know, if you lost, you know, if you didn't win the championship, that you lost. He doesn't look at life that way. He's like, we're playing the game.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which I appreciate about him. I think that's healthy.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, look, he's still one of the best players. Look at those numbers.

[A]

He's going to go to the Hall. If his career ended tomorrow, he's already in the hall of Fame.

[B]

Well, without a doubt.

[A]

That's unbelievable.

[B]

This guy, I do think he's on the back. I mean, he's on the back nine.

[A]

She's 31 years old.

[B]

He's been playing since he was 18, 19.

[A]

He's been in the NBA since he's 18. On Milwaukee, the whole time came in,

[B]

he was like 18 years old and 19 years old in the Milwaukee Bucks.

[A]

Yeah, he's great. And then. And. And we'll see. But I will say, I still don't think that they can beat the Knicks or the Celtics. I. I think that you'll see the Knicks, Celtics or the Pacers.

[B]

No.

[A]

Being one of the top east teams. Just.

[B]

I mean, him and bam.

[A]

Bam on Dubai.

[B]

It's just not enough, though.

[A]

But it's nice defense.

[B]

Not enough. It's. Yeah, it's a nice defense, but it's just not enough. If the Knicks keep the team together, maybe add something.

[A]

I would, I would be very, very shooter. They need a shooter. But I would be very careful at messing with the chemistry, especially, you know, with the people up front. I mean, Jose Alvarado, he's got to stay. I just think for chemistry, he's got to stay. I know he.

[B]

I know that for New York have

[A]

that Puerto Rican player, but I think that. I think that that matters. I think that that matters a lot more. I think like Pete Galv, galvanize the crowd, he's got to stay. And I mentioned him in my wedding vows. I mentioned Jose Alvarado because I knew that would get the Puerto Ricans going.

[B]

You did? I said that got Sergio interested.

[A]

I said, yeah. I said at one point in my vows, I said, I said, you know, when we had our. Our daughter, a lot of people counted us out because we barely knew each other. I said, but one thing I've learned about Hotel Alvarado and New York Knicks is you never count Puerto Ricans out. And it got a nice laugh. And then it got someone to go woo. Hell yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And that was probably from Jasmine's side of the family.

[B]

Now, was that pre written? Was that off the dome?

[A]

That was. No, it was pre written. But I took James manners advice to leave some things open. And I improv off the dome. I said, now I'm becoming port. You know, today's the day I become Puerto Rican. I improv that. And then at the end when I said, I love you, Jasmine, and here's to selling another 10 houses with you. That was off the cuff. Yes.

[B]

By the way, speaking of James Mattern.

[A]

We got a nice pick with him.

[B]

Things look good. No blood clot.

[A]

No blood clot for James. Yeah.

[B]

And he's finally having his celebratory.

[A]

That's what it is. That's what we wanted to see.

[B]

That's what we want to see. It's been four months. Health. It's all you want to hear is health.

[A]

Health.

[B]

Health and happiness.

[A]

Health and happiness. I got a cortisone shot in my Achilles, so my Achilles feeling better. But I do have to get probably my Achilles. The, the place you came with me to, they told me they got to clean out my Achilles next week. So for the next two weeks after likely I will be in a walking sandal now, which it's really going to be hard for you to take if I'm in a walking sandal.

[B]

Right. Especially if your toes are going to be out.

[A]

Yeah, my toes are going to be out. I'm going to be in a walking sandal. Yeah.

[B]

If your toes are going to be out, that'll be even funny.

[A]

Which I gotta be clean out the debris.

[B]

Yeah. Now I've actually been thinking about, like I'm worried about being around the two of you guys because I know I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I feel, I believe in that. Sometimes you catch the energy of the people around you.

[A]

Okay. What do you think?

[B]

I'm gonna catch some sort of injury? My knee's gonna give out or my ankle's gonna give out.

[A]

Being around who? Me and Jesse.

[B]

Yeah. You guys got old man injuries.

[A]

We do, yeah.

[B]

Young man bodies with old man injuries. Jesse needs a new knee. And you, you, you got grandmother feet.

[A]

I know. Well, if you want to stay young, the only thing you have to do, and only one of us is doing it in this room, is you gotta throw on a cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs T shirt. If you want to stay young, you have to dress like an 11 year old.

[B]

Coco Puffs T shirt is, it's hard to take.

[A]

It's hard to take, but it's, it's, it's very funny. Very Nick and I really regret not inviting him to the wedding just because I would have really liked to see what he showed up wearing.

[B]

That would have been fun.

[A]

I really would have really enjoyed that.

[B]

It would have been nice to see him without a hat too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well. Or, I mean, no, but as you

[B]

saw, he would have wore a hat.

[A]

Certain members of Jasmine's family had those Puerto Rican hats on. Yeah, they did. We would have thrown one of those on for him. What are Those. Called that those hats. Panama hats. Panama hats. They threw on some Panama hats.

[B]

Now you.

[A]

You just yawned. Now you never yawn. What's been going on with you? Are you sleeping? What's been going on? You get beat up a little bit?

[B]

No, nothing. No, I'm fine. I'm totally fine. Oh, I got beat up this morning. There's water in my basement. I got beat up.

[A]

Yeah, because. Because normally you never yawn. Because I doubt you do.

[B]

Ladder 14. Yeah. How do you order it? Can you just say, can I get a Dr. F?

[A]

I go, well, I said no. I go, I always make sure. I say, can I get a cappuccino with oat milk?

[B]

I always say, ooh, you wanna open. You wanna take a book out of Tom Segura's. Take a page out of Tom Segura's book and open a cafe. And then we can name our coffees Coffee Leroy or Dr. F. A Dr. F. And we can just go and name. Have some fun names.

[A]

Yes, I really would.

[B]

And I do have some Lindsey's.

[A]

I regret at my wedding not naming the drinks. I should have did that.

[B]

You should have did that.

[A]

I should have did that. I didn't think, now that it's over, I'm regretting a little bit. I'm like, I should have thought more about that. I should thought more about every detail.

[B]

It's okay. It's totally okay.

[A]

You did that too, right?

[B]

I didn't do any planning for my wedding.

[A]

Zero.

[B]

No, nothing. Nothing.

[A]

Now, did you went the day after your wedding? Did you have, like. Did your wife or her family, like, download about, like, all the things that went wrong? Because I feel like that's what women like to do.

[B]

No, but my. Yeah, my wife was very upset about the lighting on the stairs.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And she was able. She complained about that. And she was, you know, to the point where the guy was just like, takes of the money back. She was very upset about the light on the stairs. Lights on the stairs in the pictures, they were a wrong color. She was not happy about that. We were not thrilled with the dj.

[A]

Okay, so did he give some money back too?

[B]

I don't know. I don't know. But she. She definitely lets people know when she's upset.

[A]

Right?

[B]

And those were the two weaknesses that was seen in the wedding. Otherwise, it was a fantastic wedding. And my family, you know, now they're my family. So I'll say my family, they go all out. Out. They go all out.

[A]

I think we're talking about this on. On the podcast. Ready But I just to reiterate when. When he says that they've went all out again, it was just me, Jaz and my two children who went over to Yanni's house to watch, I think, game two of the NBA finals. And the spread that they had was, if you missed that episode, was nine pizzas, three trays of pasta, four cakes, and then homemade appetizers for. I have two little girls.

[B]

Yeah. Nobody, nobody. Nobody's coming to my house and leaving hungry or not having options. It's just.

[A]

No, no, you don't leave crazy. We left with a pizza.

[B]

We live with pizza.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's just, it's. It's actually, it's funny.

[A]

And nobody feels in your family like. I know if that was me, I would say like, well, we ordered too much food. I spent all this money. But that's not how your family thinks. They're like, whatever, we'll order more Greek

[B]

and Italians like that. Italians are the same way.

[A]

You have to be overfed.

[B]

I will tell you this. Legendary. It was. It was so legendary. So. So Britney's friend had a wedding, and she's Italian.

[A]

Italian.

[B]

Italian. They're Italian from Jersey.

[A]

Like Tommy and Jen. Italian.

[B]

Like Italian.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So she had a wedding and the father, God rest his soul. And that's something Italians also don't. They mention somebody who passed. I mean, God rest.

[A]

You say God rest his soul. Or God forbid.

[B]

God forbid. Or God forbid. God rest his soul. That guy shot. I'm telling you. You shot.

[A]

Yeah, God rest. Assault. God forbid.

[B]

That guy Shame.

[A]

Not for nothing.

[B]

Not for nothing. God rest his soul. The father, he was a big man, all right? A large man.

[A]

Meaning he.

[B]

It looked like he enjoyed culinary arts.

[A]

So we're not talking about muscles. This guy didn't have muscles.

[B]

No, he was a big guy.

[A]

He's a big guy. Big guy.

[B]

He liked to eat. Yeah, he liked to eat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he also liked his cigars.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so he was visiting his ma, and he died in a very Italian way. He was visiting his ma. Okay. Who was in the hospital. He's visiting his ma. And he. He had a heart attack getting out of the car.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And so. God rest his soul.

[A]

Yeah, God rest his soul.

[B]

He ended up passing before his daughter's wedding. God forbid. God rest his soul.

[A]

So he died in the parking lot of the hospital visiting his mother.

[B]

His visit, his mother. He had a heart attack. He was almost close enough to get the help, but. But it's a very Italian way to die. Guy like to eat. Guy like Cigars and a car.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you know, he took a ride over there and just the heart, his heart, the hot.

[A]

Gave out.

[B]

Just gave out. It had no more to give.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It gave all it could.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

But this was right before the wedding. But he picked the food and helped plan the wedding. An Italian, A real Italian. I've never seen anything like this.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I've never in my life seen anything like this. To the point I always tell Versie I wish he was there to see it. Cuz he goes crazy over stuff like that.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It was something that is still in my mind. It's still something. I just don't understand how someone goes to that level. But you just appreciate it when you see it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And you go. And this is just crazy.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So just to explain, the ceremony happens. Well, it's a very nice place out in Jersey. Right?

[A]

Right.

[B]

Nice venue. Outdoor, indoor. Very nice. So you go to your ceremony, people are walking around, you want this, you want that, that. Then they go to ceremony. Right. Joints before the ceremony. In the ceremony. Then between. After the ceremony, then you walk in to the cocktail hour.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now the cocktail hour was something I've never seen in my entire life.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The hallway down to the cocktail hour was stations of gourmet food.

[A]

Right.

[B]

The whole way down. This is before dinner.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So he had a guy making homemade pasta.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Right there. Sushi table.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, I mean, where they're cooking for you. Right? They're cooking for you. All these tables, guys with chef hats.

[A]

It's like a line of all different restaurants.

[B]

A rhyme of different restaurants on the way to the cocktail hour. To get into the cocktail hour room. When you get into the cocktail hour room, there was an ice sculpture that reached the ceiling. Full of seafood.

[A]

Yeah. All the way down. There's no way you could even get to the top of it.

[B]

Couldn't get to the top. Top of it. It was an I. He had an ice sculpture built.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like somebody carved it. It was a sculpture of like a woman.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, you know, like a naked woman with just seafood.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All around.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Lobsters.

[A]

Well, you're laughing out loud.

[B]

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

[A]

It was something.

[B]

And that was one of the tables in the cocktail room. Then there was guys with lamb shanks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hanging off where they were. They were broiling lamb shanks.

[A]

Right. And they were hanging them up. And he's.

[B]

Lamb shake. This was before dinner, right? Lamb shanks and drink tables. I mean it was crazy. And then Everyone goes into the dinner, and then it's like an eight course dinner of the most delicious food, the most decadent food. And then the dessert, it was just so.

[A]

Even you. Crazy beating, though. It even stopped you in your track.

[B]

Everyone was like, full by the time you on the walk, right. Because everyone was stopping and you didn't know what to get. You're like. And it was. All the food was like, unbelievable.

[A]

So there's no way that there would. There had to be tons of way of food that nobody ate.

[B]

There's tons of food. Nobody. And he planned it. So before he died, he planned this thing and, you know, he was there in spirit, just like trying to.

[A]

Everything.

[B]

Trying to take a bite of things.

[A]

So, I mean, that. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing with that.

[B]

And Italians do that and Greeks do that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's just crazy when you go to, like a Greek. They just keep bringing out the food. Food. It's just a. Jesse used to tell me stories about his grandma. She got. She would. They would. She would just bring out the food, and he would talk about how delicious the sauce was and how they thought that the flavor was in her hands because she did everything with her hands. So he would tell me that she would go to wash her hands and

[A]

they'd go, oh, my.

[B]

No, no, don't wash your hands. Yeah, no, that's where the flavor's at. Don't wash your hands.

[A]

I don't like.

[B]

The secret maybe is just. Just like, never wash. Never wash your hands.

[A]

Yeah, but then that's very funny.

[B]

Jesse would tell me. She'd bring out the dish and another dish, and then. And then people would be like, ma, Ma, I can't.

[A]

Like, I can't.

[B]

And she goes, oh, I forgot the chicken cut. And then she'd come with another tray. Ma, what are you doing?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's just too much.

[A]

But you would just keep eating, right?

[B]

Right, Jesse, you got to keep eating.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

Her hands look delicious. I think if you sauteed her hands would be the best meal you ever had, because that's where all this garlic and the spices. Yeah. They were dripping with oil.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And how was that food? Was it crazy? Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's funny when you've been to the

[B]

mountaintop, when you've had, like, true, authentic food, it's like, it's hard to compete. Like. Yeah, you go one of these fancy places, restaurants, it's good. But when you've had, like, the real deal and Italians are really serious about the meatballs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They get Very upset. They won't.

[A]

They won't.

[B]

Like Jesse. We. Like. There was this place that had meatballs. Yeah, right. It was. It's a famous place, too. And it's out there. Was that Cobble Hill Cow Gardens?

[A]

Well, Frank.

[B]

Yeah. No, it's another place that was old school that was down here, and they were famous for the rice balls. Yeah, right. And Jesse would go. Jesse refused. He's like, I can't do it. And he was serious.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

I don't want to. I can't. There's no point to have a rice ball. There's no point to do it, since it's not. If it's not my grandmother's. Just no point. I mean, Italians get very serious about their meatballs and their rice balls. Yeah. And it hits you in a great. Like, if we brought this rice ball in here, the big one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Chris Italia, he would tell you. He says the same thing.

[A]

Yeah. He's like. Yeah.

[B]

He's like. So my grandmother had four sisters, and they used to fight over who had

[A]

better meatballs, and they wouldn't go to

[B]

each other's houses anymore for dinner because they would fight over who had better beatball. It's a true story, right? Yeah.

[A]

One of the funniest, hilarious.

[B]

One of the funniest things. We went to one of these real Italian restaurants. Me, my dad, and my brother. I don't know if I told the story in the podcast. Maybe in the First Reich. I can't believe we call it the First Reich.

[A]

It's just what it is.

[B]

It's just what we do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But we went there, and my brother got a seafood pasta, and it was Italians from Italy, guy. The waiters were tied. So then my dad, my. My. My brother goes, can I get some. Can I get some. He goes, can I get some grated cheese? Can I get some cheese?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the guy goes. He went, what? He went, no. He went, no. And he just walked away. And my brother was, like, waiting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, the guy didn't bring the cheese.

[A]

Just wouldn't do it.

[B]

Just wouldn't do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Italians just. They take it.

[A]

Yeah. Like, seriously, like, at an Italian restaurant, do they even have ketchup? If you brought out ketchup? Like, would they even have it at a real Italian restaurant in Copple Hill? Whatever. Could you even get an item that they would have ketchup to go with?

[B]

I don't think you could. I don't think you could get that. I think they would call that. You know what? I think they'd call that. I can't say to the pocket spot, Texas to you.

[A]

Yeah, I know what they would say.

[B]

Yeah. I think they'd call it something sauce. They'd call it something sauce.

[A]

I think I know the word, you know, and it's in here.

[B]

Yeah, that would probably be a good name for. For them. I would. I would imagine those two words went together to describe ketchup at some point. Yeah, right. Somebody went over to somebody's grandmother's house and they said, can I get some ketchup? And they say, we don't got any sauce here.

[A]

Yeah, sorry.

[B]

It's just how Italians are.

[A]

Yeah, Italians are funny. Like, I remember one time I ordered a slice and I was just hungry and I was like, oh, you don't. You don't have to put it in the oven. He was like, you want this with no heat? I said, I said, yeah. He went, all right. And he gave it to me. But he said, no heat.

[B]

Yeah, like he couldn't. He could. He didn't want to do it.

[A]

Yeah. He goes, you want this with no heat? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's like this guy's a retard. Yeah, he's a retard. You gotta slice with no heat. What is he doing fucking on a mob?

[A]

You gotta get some heat. Yeah.

[B]

Cha Ching.

[A]

It's the sound of Shopify.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[B]

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[A]

Nick, you better stop what you're doing and listen then we're talking about hims. When thinning starts, it's not just your hair that takes a hit. It can change how you feel in day in day out. HIMS makes it simple to take control of hair regrowth with personalized care that

[B]

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[A]

It's unbelievable.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Ride now cuz today after the podcast because Tampa Tony's coming to stay with me for a week. Yeah. So I'm going to have to get home. But I mean I know you don't have to get the roof clean today, but you better bet your ass we're going to get food after this.

[B]

I actually am hungry. I'd like.

[A]

We have to get food big and I'm going to see what time my. If my father hasn't left the house yet or where he's staying in New Jersey, then we're going to go down to a little place called Potos.

[B]

Now the wedding was really nice. Congratulations.

[A]

You have socks on.

[B]

I got socks on.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Is this the Patreon or the normal?

[A]

Normal. This is normal because we did the Patreon.

[B]

We went a little wild on the Patreon.

[A]

We went a little wild on the Patreon. So you're going to want to go to patreon.com history hyenas because we, we said a lot of things and we read a lot of text that not only we can't say at the Patreon level, we probably can't say at the 25 level because I've incriminated people.

[B]

Yeah. We talked about your wedding on the Patreon.

[A]

It was really a good time.

[B]

It was really good time. You're wearing a wedding ring now.

[A]

I'm wearing a wedding ring now.

[B]

Where'd you get the wedding ring? Is it. Is it. I like it. It's black. It's nice.

[A]

It's black. It's nice. It's from a little Jewish friend of ours named David Herman.

[B]

Oh, so that. He's a famous guy.

[A]

Right. David Herman. I think, according to, you know, jazz. You know, I. It's a big jewelry place.

[B]

Yeah. This is how I know I got to lose weight if I can fit your ring. Because you're a bigger guy than me, and this is just. My fingers are fat.

[A]

Fingers. Well, my. My. I was just able to get my ring off for the first time since Sunday. It's Tuesday already today. Because my fingers were so swollen from all the food and that I couldn't get. I couldn't pull the ring off. I actually took skin off my finger to pull the ring off.

[B]

Why is that?

[A]

Because you're swollen? Well, from the.

[B]

From the.

[A]

From the.

[B]

Sodium.

[A]

Sodium.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So. But now. But now it, you know, feels normal. So it's on. But I. Because I gotta be honest, it feels nice. Some things I've learned already is I can't put in hair product with a ring. It messes it up.

[B]

What are you doing, by the way?

[A]

Now?

[B]

What's going on up there?

[A]

It doesn't look right.

[B]

No, I'm just. So. I'm. No, for me. For me. Whenever I see. Shave here. Like it.

[A]

Well, I just.

[B]

You, you know, you go. You're. You're constantly going back and forth between Soho and an out of borough kit,

[A]

as well as Tommy described it, this is World cup hair. Yeah, you got World cup hair.

[B]

I just don't. What are we doing? Are you now Argentinian?

[A]

Yes. So what I've decided is I've seen the World cup players these last couple weeks, and they said, I'm getting one of their hair. But you said you don't think it looks bad.

[B]

No, it just looks like you got your haircut in Corona, Queens.

[A]

It's just what it is. Well, I might be preparing for a move back there.

[B]

What?

[A]

Where?

[B]

What did you go for a different style? Did you tell the guy, let's try something different?

[A]

I told him I want him because

[B]

you have a Mullet. I got his hair back here.

[A]

Yeah. I told him I want him to grow it out. I want to grow it out a little bit. But the sides, you know, I don't want the hair of my ears. So he just decided to shave the side of my head.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

And let it go down a little bit.

[B]

I like that. Yeah. I like. Can we continue this?

[A]

You want. You want me to keep going with this? Can you.

[B]

Can we go full mullet?

[A]

Does it look like a mullet, Nick? Does it. Do I look like a. What do they call it? The Colombian haircut? A 7.

[B]

Can you do just one for me one time? Just one haircut for me again? Yeah, if we. Can we just do one haircut. Which do you want back to the shave, partner hair.

[A]

You like that one?

[B]

I like that.

[A]

We got to go back to Panache Salon on Third Avenue in Bay Ridge with Stefano.

[B]

When you used to get like.

[A]

The real Stefano.

[B]

Yeah, the real Italian haircut.

[A]

Yeah, I like.

[B]

He used to shave the partner.

[A]

Stefano was a great barber, too, because he just. He. It was like an old school Italian wrestling. Like, you could tell him what you wanted, but he was gonna do what he wanted.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which I love because he always made a good choice.

[B]

There was something about Stefano, who I like to call the man with the golden clippers.

[A]

Yeah. He told you. People don't have that.

[B]

He. People. This isn't. You know, a lot of people don't have it. They don't appreciate. They don't know about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And also something I liked about it is just really nice to go into a barbershop where the father and the son are right there. Two sons, and the. And the brother's there. And it's just a family business. He has a really calm energy about him because I think he's a guy who kills deer. And there's something about real men that are calming.

[A]

He kills deer.

[B]

Like you say, you get calm, you get real. You feel nice and secure when you're around Tommy Gallucci, right?

[A]

Yeah, big time. Yeah. Yeah. He's the kind of guy, too, where you're just safe in that barbershop. You can kind of say anything. You won't offend them.

[B]

I mean, anything, Anything.

[A]

And it's fine. You kind of feel like a man in there. They'll offer you a little espresso. Yeah, they got a little espresso.

[B]

That's so classic.

[A]

Nice, you know, and.

[B]

And.

[A]

And they laugh and they joke and, you know, and, you know, they're the guys like when I. When they said, oh, where you moving? And I said, oh, I'm gonna. I'm gonna go up to Westchester. Westchester. They were like, what, are you moving to Mars? What's out there? How far is that guy? Because for them, distance is just, you know, they're like, why'd you go somewhere close? Back to Staten Island? Because for them, distance is. How far are you from Brooklyn?

[B]

From your ma?

[A]

From. Or from your ma?

[B]

From your ma.

[A]

Yeah, because for them. Because Westchester, it's all relative. Right. It's not that far if your family's there, but to them, that's far.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because they're just saying, my ma is in Kyle Garden. See?

[B]

Yeah. Cause Jesse's got a dilemma because he's half Italian. Right?

[A]

Right.

[B]

So he's still got the string attached to his ma.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But then he's got the Jewish side that wants to just kick her out to Florida. Yeah.

[A]

It's just what it is.

[B]

It's just this. He's got a conflict. The Italian side is like, I gotta visit my mom. And then the Jewish side of his brain goes, I gotta get it a Florida.

[A]

But I argue that because Jesse's father is Italian and the mother is Jewish. And I would say Jesse is coated in mostly Jew.

[B]

Yeah, Those. They.

[A]

Right, because you're.

[B]

They say that. They say if you come through the Jewish meat curtains, you get Nick.

[A]

I think that. I think that. I would say. I would say Jesse's got a heavy coat of Jew.

[B]

Yeah. I think what happens. What I've noticed with this, with the secular Jews that I know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I know a lot of Jews grew up with a lot of Jews. The secular Jews, they become more religious as they get older. I know. I think a lot of people do that, though, right? Because they get scared of death.

[A]

So they want to get right.

[B]

People go, that might be a fairy tale. And they go, I'm listening. Right, Whatever.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I'll take whatever. Whatever's going to ease. Let me. Give me. Give me a little lubricant.

[A]

Let me get a little.

[B]

Lub me up. Because I know I'm.

[A]

I'm.

[B]

I'm getting on the Runway soon.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's just. Now, what was this Brazilian guy's name again? Was that Ronaldo? That was the first Ronaldo. Right. Because by the way, I mean, again, I'm not a soccer aficionado, but I know that Lionel Messi, if he wins the World cup again, because I know he's got the most goals. There's kind of like no debate anymore. He's the greatest of all time.

[B]

It just.

[A]

Right. He's like. He's like, blowing past Ronaldo. Do you like Messi or no? Fuck Argentina.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. So you. You think Cristiano Ronaldo is the best?

[B]

Who's team? Uruguay and Chile. But Uruguay. We're always Uruguay.

[A]

Uruguay. They.

[B]

They.

[A]

Didn't they just tie Cape Verde? Yeah. What the. Is. Cape Verde's coming out of nowhere.

[B]

I don't know what Uruguay's. Uruguay is like the Knicks, they always

[A]

play down to their opponents. So, like, if they play against a

[B]

big team like Spain or something, they'll try to do better. But anytime they pick, like, a random country that no one's, like, heard of,

[A]

they're like, you know, Uruguay supposed and don't. Do they still have that guy who bit somebody last World Cup? No, he's.

[B]

His knees are all fucked up, but he was in the audience watching. That dude was really good. Yeah, that was two World Cups ago. Would have bit somebody.

[A]

That's very funny thing to do.

[B]

Uruguay. Can you say Uruguay again? Uruguay. Uruguay.

[A]

Uruguay. Chile has not.

[B]

Oh, not like that.

[A]

No. More italian.

[B]

More italian rhythm. Like, Have you tried approaching a girl and talking that instead of going, hey, have you want. You know my Hulk Hogan documentary? They hate it. I mean, that's a beauty.

[A]

Spanish got hard. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

That was sexy.

[A]

The Spanish on you is good.

[B]

The Spanish on you is good because.

[A]

Yeah, the. The English is not.

[B]

Yeah, the. The Spanish on you works good. Now, did you know about the original Ronaldo? I think everyone in Brazil has named Ronaldo. Right. But the old Ronaldo, the most famous Ronald. Although he got caught with a trans woman. Really?

[A]

I didn't know that.

[B]

Yeah, he got caught with a trans woman. Marisa. That was a big story.

[A]

But in Brazil, that's just a woman.

[B]

And they just.

[A]

Well, there's a lot of trans. In Brazil.

[B]

There's a Brazil. That's right. But it was a big story. You know what's funny about these soccer players? They are so famous around the world, and in America, I think they could walk into the supermarket.

[A]

Yeah. Nobody. Yeah. Like, the fact that I even said, what's that guy's name again? Would be shocking to people who are fans of soccer.

[B]

Yeah. Like Lionel Messi. If you go to his Instagram followers or if you go to any of the big soccer shows, it's like 400 million.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Followers. They're the most famous people in the world. In America, which. That's how ethnocentric we are. We're like, bro, your name's not Jake Paul.

[A]

Yeah, you are. I mean, Messi, I would of course know who he is, but Messi's World. But the other ones. Yeah. I mean, a lot of these players, I'm just hearing from them for the first time and they are fucking superstars.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, soccer is just.

[A]

Well, there's too many leagues in soccer for me. It's like in the end, like the NBA. NBA is. There's just one NBA team. Like in England, it's like you got the Premier League. Then in Spain you have La Liga. Then Italy, there's all these leagues. So I'm like, how do I follow all these games and teams I can't pop on, make a one country league, right. You know? Yeah, they won't do it.

[B]

They like the complicated. It's just, it's. It's kind of similar with boxing. You're going like, how many belts are.

[A]

How many leads?

[B]

What are we talking?

[A]

It dilutes it too much.

[B]

Yeah. David Yurman.

[A]

Well, no, but before you had the Ronaldo. Trans. Trans, yeah, Ronaldo and transvestite scandal. So you were right about that. I mean, but I mean, in Brazil,

[B]

he picked up three prostitutes only to discover at a motel that they were trans women. He accused them of extortion and no

[A]

criminal charge after he came, right? That's, that's the thing. After he got a blow.

[B]

After he got a blow. This was all the way back in 2008. Do we have pictures of these ladies? Yes.

[A]

Yeah. These, these, these ladies. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, Ronaldo.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, so there's prettier ones out there.

[A]

I could have told you.

[B]

I mean, Ronaldo. There's prettier ones out there, boss. Especially for you.

[A]

I mean, Ronaldo seems like a fun kid, no?

[B]

Yeah, he seems like a fun, fun kid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It was a big, big story because he, he, at that time, he was like, Ronaldo. Remember that, Nick? It was like just Ronaldo. He was the original Ronaldo, right? And he was like the most famous guy on the planet, right? And this was like the kid just. He wanted to blow off a little steam.

[A]

I mean, you win the World Cup, I mean, can I bang a guy?

[B]

Isn't it funny? Like when you get that famous, you get to this point where you go, like, can I do that? Can I do this thing? And like, the tug, the pull, the crave. Kid had a crave. He had a big crave. He's like, I. His crave built up so much, he ordered three.

[A]

It's just what it is.

[B]

It's like when you Go to the sweet, smart market. And they say, how many cupcakes you want? You've been building up that crave for a little while.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So these were his cupcakes. And he would give me three of them.

[A]

Give me three of them. Yeah. Because I. Because it was my wedding weekend.

[B]

Sometimes you just want tits and dick.

[A]

Tits of dick. I mean, I had 14. I had. Since Friday, I've had five blueberry muffins toasted with butter.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And that's like what he's doing with prostitutes now.

[B]

Whose decision was to put the tiny pieces of cake as hors d'. Oeuvres. That was a. The olive cake was delicious. That was good.

[A]

But we. That was supposed to be, like, just in addition to the cake. And we realized on the day of the wedding that we never ordered the cake.

[B]

You forgot about the cake.

[A]

Forgot about the cake. So you guys are supposed to get cake and those little hors d'. Oeuvres. But then, you know, it's just what it is. And I actually said, as a, you know, kind of half joking, I was like, what if we just order 10 ice cream carvel cakes and have them cut it up?

[B]

That would have been fun.

[A]

I said. And then. But Jaz was just like. She was like, let's just. It's fine. Cause people had started leaving already. Yeah.

[B]

And the music. Who is the dj?

[A]

We did. Jazz, did a playlist. Richie Nuns, as the band. But then she wanted, like, just like a playlist. But we could have. In hindsight, we should have gotten a dj. But Jazz just put it all together.

[B]

Richie Nuns was unbelievable.

[A]

I mean, he's just.

[B]

He was really, like. The singing was.

[A]

Yeah, he's.

[B]

He's a really, really talented kid.

[A]

And, I mean, genuinely handsome. I mean, Ronaldo would like to pick him up.

[B]

Yeah. How do you know that guy?

[A]

He. We saw him at a restaurant, Scarpetta's. This is four years ago. We saw him, like, he was just singing and we were like. I walked up to him and. Kind of very similar to Kit Harrington. I just walked up to him and I said, I want to get to know you. I mean, look at this guy.

[B]

I mean. I mean, what does he do? He has a band and he plays at weddings a lot or.

[A]

No, dude, he travel. He does, like, us, like, he has a residency in Chicago. He plays, like, how we do comedy clubs. He does restaurants. Yeah, like. But it's very similar career path. Richie Nuns, you know, he does albums.

[B]

Go follow him. Richie. News. Is it news?

[A]

N, U, Z, Z. Oh, yeah. Richie Nuz. I keep saying nuns, but it's Richie Nuz.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, this kid. I would say this kid is smooth like butter. He's smooth like butter that's been left outside the refrigerator. Yeah.

[A]

And guess what? And he's also a kid from Long island, so it was good you kept your wife away because these Long island kids.

[B]

Yeah, you got to keep him away. But yeah, that's how smoothie is. When you cut into it, it's a little melted.

[A]

It's a little melted. A little butter. All right, guys, go to patreon.com history hyenas. That's where all the fun happens. We're going to read out the newest members of the Matriarch. Funniest name wins the prize. Okay, here we go. Leading off the list, Tamahashi Chan. Then we got Chrissy Squirt's Glue. Then we got Michael Jackson. Found my Neverland. That's what it is. Kid got abused a chicken finger there.

[B]

Okay, Ladder 14.

[A]

Then we got Grumpy Monk. Then we got listening to the pod a little too loud with the windows down, and now the Leroy's are staring. Okay, it happens.

[B]

Drax are good one.

[A]

Jay Allen. Then we got in the program straight on a tranny timeout. It happens. It's Ronaldo.

[B]

I'm gonna put him on the list.

[A]

All right?

[B]

Yeah, I like that one. I like that one.

[A]

Get him on. Then we got a rad venti iced Dr. F. Chicken finger. Chicken finger. Nice. They got big time chiropractor to Versi and even Habert. Wait, what?

[B]

What?

[A]

Oh, is. Is that. Is that versies? Chiropractor? Maybe. I don't know. Ryan O Gorman. Chris screwed Stu and who knows, it was the Jews.

[B]

Okay, Ladder 14.

[A]

I run faster horny than you do. Scared kids horned up. Okay.

[B]

Oh, God. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Sorry about that.

[B]

Sorry about that, ladies.

[A]

Robbie Wilco.

[B]

We can't control the people.

[A]

Giannis Pupis. Trash pig. Sally sells. She sell. Sally sells Seashells by the sea. Spicks. Oops.

[B]

Jesus Christ. I guess they must have decoded that. Or did you ever just plain come out and say that?

[A]

I might have just come out and said it on a patreon.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Frankie's five angels. Pseudo genius of the squeak weeks. AJ Rezak Grant Charbonnet spend $40 on you instead of. Of. You better make me come. Oh, only fans. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

White guy sitting on a stoop.

[B]

Chicken finger. Okay, Good visual.

[A]

Kaylee, I've got a situation with the mother. Anthony

[B]

14. It's a good one. This is for that. You walked into that. It's a really good dark one.

[A]

John Rodriguez. The Eucharist. Body of Christ, but with feet. Okay. Oh, you, Chris. Like they took the tea off. Body of Christ, but with feet.

[B]

It just serves a very strong Drexler for the word play.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Start spreading the Jews. I'm Tel Avivan today, Latifo.

[B]

I'm putting it on the list.

[A]

Yeah. There's nothing offensive.

[B]

Very funny. Tender.

[A]

Straight to the back of my Hormuz.

[B]

Very good. I would Drexler it.

[A]

Jerking off. Thumb up my ass. I call it going. Absailing. I don't get it. Okay. Aoc's balloon knot.

[B]

Okay. We've had. I think we've had that.

[A]

Yeah. Nick the Italian kid. So you know who my father voted for? Rooster.

[B]

So we definitely do.

[A]

Kanye's brand new pill dispenser.

[B]

It's pretty funny.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A kid definitely has. Has to carry that around 100%. Yeah. I'm going to chicken finger that Yanni

[A]

P. And Chrissy D. Would use to go with me.

[B]

Go with me. Yeah, we'll go with you.

[A]

Seth. Leading man. Face. Best friend. Body Klein ad.

[B]

Tim.

[A]

If Yanni. And if Yanni. Yanni and Amani. Wait. If Yani and Aman. Irene has had a son, he'd be a psych. I don't know. Sorry. Victim of bad read. But this is just too many words sometimes it's too many names. You're trying to jam too much in. Yeah.

[B]

You got to trim the fat.

[A]

Yeah. Put the wrong sock on. Now my toes are glued together.

[B]

Put them on the list.

[A]

Just what it is. It happens sometimes.

[B]

Contender.

[A]

It's just what? Yeah. Tender, skinny white boy from Atlanta. I'm a twigger. Okay.

[B]

Ladder 14.

[A]

You think on the list, Nick?

[B]

I think it goes on the list. Yeah, I think it goes. What do you think it goes in the list? Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Congrats on the wedding. But you're way. It's just what it is. Put on the list. Okay. Giannis Pappas and Kash Patel's the Cross Eyed Peas.

[B]

Very good.

[A]

Yeah. Drexer, Newark. Noah Kasarau. Paul Tassalupis. Alex Rodriguez. Swept my chimney then went in for a kiss.

[B]

Put them on the list.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I like that. I like that.

[A]

It's interesting.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

She might be a keeper.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Lake Country Septic servicing Oklahoma.

[B]

Screwed in.

[A]

Screwed in. Chrissy's real Broadway role is in Rent. Is that an AIDS joke? Yes.

[B]

Yes. Drax.

[A]

Jacked off by so many Asians. Call me Genghis. Cum.

[B]

Put him on the list. Put him on the list. What it is we got. See, this was going slow and then it's just catapult after catapult.

[A]

You guys have to keep listening. Yeah. True blue cuck. Chris Rio, Mark Flores. Suit covered chimney Charmer. Frisbee, diy.

[B]

Call it.

[A]

Do it yourself.

[B]

It's good. Wait a second. Not that offensive. I'm a Drexler. Because there was a better one. But that. I mean, you could have been on the list. Yeah.

[A]

Girth Brooks. My dick looks like Anne Frank. Okay. Perks hazy field goal kicked. Call my girl Bush 11. But I've seen stranger things. Okay. Creamy tear crumpet to AOC with the boy. Times Square bus repair service. Vegetable mover JB Irish dagger Snorkel and glue. Justin, you can holfer John Lagana Alex Honorales Laser beam Jedi AKA Mace Hindu. May the fumes be with you.

[B]

Okay, Evan.

[A]

Asian, Caucasian cuisines where two Wongs do Make it white.

[B]

List it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. List it. List it. List it. Yeah.

[A]

Rick nutted in my eyes just to see how far I have come.

[B]

That's a shirt.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There was somebody made a picture of you with that. I think that's probably an expression that's been around.

[A]

Called for backup but still shot.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

That went bad.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

Yeah. Update. AOC fisted me. Now I'm a full quad. Quad. Okay.

[B]

I don't get it.

[A]

I don't know. Yeah. Your sausage linky in my Buddha chedge is a coinky dinky. Alan Perez. My Latina wife is amazing. Chrissy, don't do it. Gersby. Bernie, man. Darlin Fulmer. Keys. Pancake House, Old Forge, New York. Screwed in, cuz.

[B]

Screwed in you go.

[A]

Had prison sex but was not in jail.

[B]

Put him on the list.

[A]

Just what it is.

[B]

There's too many favorites on here. I hate when this happens. I wish they would spread them out.

[A]

Balls so blue I call the mole to clean my cir. Again the moel. Oh, okay. Tuna then. Last but not least, a watermelon walked into Wakanda and got sent to Valhalla real quick.

[B]

Probably.

[A]

Probably a racist joke that we don't get. Okay?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Damn it. Hard one.

[A]

Here's the list in the program. Straight on a timeout.

[B]

Okay. We're going to drex through that.

[A]

Okay. Start spreading the Jews. I'm Tel Avivan today.

[B]

I'm keeping that around. I like that one. Good wordplay.

[A]

Put the wrong sock on. Now my toes are glued together. Keep that around Skinny white boy from Atlanta. I am a twigger.

[B]

That's so good. But we're going to chicken finger.

[A]

Okay. Swept my chimney, then went in for a kiss.

[B]

Very funny. We're going to Drexler.

[A]

It. Jacked off by so many Asians. Call me Genghis Come.

[B]

We got to keep that one around. What it is. Yeah. It's got to keep that right around Asian, Caucasian cuisines.

[A]

Where two Wongs do make it. One white.

[B]

Very funny. It's unfortunate. Drexler, okay.

[A]

Had prison sex but was not in jail.

[B]

That one is really funny.

[A]

It's.

[B]

And it's really funny.

[A]

So we got four. We're in the final four. So the four are. Start spreading the Jews. I'm Tel Avivan today. Put the wrong sock on. Now my toes are glued together. Jacked off by so many Asians. Call me Genghis Come. And had prison sex, but was not in jail.

[B]

Okay. The thing that we. We have a lot of funny gay ones. I don't know what we do. Can you read the first one?

[A]

Start spreading the Jews. I'm Tel Avivan.

[B]

Today we're going to acknowledge you. Very funny. We're going to chicken finger it. It was a good, hardcore, tight joke.

[A]

Just. Yep. Just not. Not in the cards for you right now. But that's okay. Put the wrong sock on. Now my toes are glued together.

[B]

That one's just got to stick around.

[A]

Stick around.

[B]

Funny.

[A]

Jacked off by so many Asians. Call me Genghis. Come.

[B]

Okay. Now that could win either one of the all. When you get narrowed down, what that means is you. You could win on a bad. On a worser list.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

That's just what the Drexler means. So just know that you're not a loser.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're a winner. But I have to drexer you. I'm sorry.

[A]

So which one? Jacked up by so many agents. Call me Genghis.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It's just.

[B]

It's chicken with a chicken finger. That.

[A]

So then it is between. Put the wrong sock on. Now my toes are glued together and had prison sex, but was not in jail.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

So those are the two. So these are the two.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So put the wrong sock on. Now my toes are glued together. Or had prison sex, but was not in jail. What do we think, Nick? What do you like?

[B]

I like prison sex.

[A]

Jesse.

[B]

I'm gonna go a little bit more innocent.

[A]

I'm going with the sock.

[B]

I'm going with the sock, too.

[A]

So. Wow. It's on me.

[B]

It's on you. Cuz either you make it a tie or you end the series in five. Knicks in five.

[A]

Knicks in five. Well, you know, it's interesting. I think last week I may have went another way. But this week, since I've become fully Latino and I know that when he becomes when you become fully Latino like I became this weekend marrying Jasmine, it's okay to hate other Latinos now. So I'm going to say, Nick, f? Ck you. I'm going to put the wrong sock on now. My toes are glued together.

[B]

It's very fun.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

It's a good call.

[A]

So that's the winner. Go to history. Hyenas is back.com so you name up in lights and patreon.com history is where all the fun is happening. We thank you so much for the support. Hope you enjoyed the episode. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome? That's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50 page restoration block. Or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it, ready to make anything online make sense. There's no place like Chrome. Check Responses Setup required compatibility and availability various 18.