Cuba has Special Needs | History Hyenas

Summary

History Hyenas: Cuba Has Special Needs

Podcast: History Hyenas
Hosts: Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas
Date: March 26, 2026
Episode: "Cuba has Special Needs"

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Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode, comedians Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas tackle the Cuban "Special Period"—a time of extreme hardship in Cuba after the fall of the Soviet Union—with their trademark mix of history, wit, and wild tangents. Along the way, they draw connections between differing human desires, the struggles and idiosyncrasies of Cuba's political and economic landscape, and their own comic personal histories. With cameos from Sergio Chicon and Tim Dillon, this episode is a jam-packed blend of historical insight and unfiltered comedy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Setting the Scene: Barefoot Hunter & The Nature of Human Desire

(00:43–05:56)

• The episode kicks off with Chris and Yannis riffing on Instagram foot fetish accounts, using "BarefootHunter5" as a playful allegory about human difference in desires.
  • Quote: "Everyone gets a tingle from something different. We're not all chasing the same tingle." — Yannis (04:43)
  • They stress that people are motivated by very different things—a theme that echoes later in the discussion about political and economic systems.

Personal Anecdotes & Tangents

(05:57–11:37)

• Chris confesses his lack of foot dexterity and shares funny observations about family genetics (from his daughter's inherited feet to his partner Jasmine's).
  • Quote: "Her feet look like Princess Fiona from Shrek." — Chris (08:12)
• The duo reminisces about parenting: picking up their kids, feeling physically inadequate compared to their wives, and how dads and moms interact differently with children.

Contrasting Freedom: America vs. Cuba

(12:20–13:13)

• The hosts muse on how America allows for unique personal expression (even the aforementioned foot fetish accounts), while in Cuba, due to communism, such freedoms and platforms likely don't exist.
  • Quote: "You can have an Instagram account where you're wiggling your toes and it can get likes and hearts emojis. In Cuba, that's mostly communist...I don't know if they'll even let you have Instagram there." — Chris (12:20)

Introducing Cuba's Special Period

(12:45–13:59)

• Transition into the episode's main history topic—the "Special Period" in Cuba.
  • Joke: "It's not about special needs people." — Chris (00:30)
• Quick digression about Cuban girls, Jewish communities in Cuba and Latin America, and (humorously) the universal immigrant policy men might propose ("open the border, sex-based").

Cuban History in Comic Perspective

Before the Crash

(16:11–19:29)

• Miami's Cuban exiles: mostly right-leaning due to their families' flight from communism.
• Cuba’s background: once a capitalist hotbed, rife with inequality, corruption, and mafia influence under Batista.
• Fidel Castro's revolution replaced this with communism—"communist cuties."

Cuba's "Special Period"—the Soviet Teat is Cut Off

(26:22–32:07)

• The Soviet Union propped up Cuba (cheap oil, food, cash), but its fall in 1991 left Cuba devastated.
  • Cuba loses 80% of its trade; GDP drops 30%+.
  • Fuel and food shortages force Cuba to return to horse-and-buggy transport in the 1990s.
  • Quote: "They started bringing back horse and buggies in 1991." — Yannis (30:27)
• The hosts liken Cuba’s dependence on the USSR to living at your mom’s house and suddenly being kicked out—hilariously embodied by their producer Nick.

Communism vs. Capitalism—No Easy Answers

(32:08–33:43)

• Discuss how neither pure communism nor unfettered capitalism works perfectly; both generate inequality, though communism may have less of a middle class.
  • Quote: "Communism, inequality might even be more because there's actually less people at the top and more people at the bottom." — Yannis (32:51)
• The USSR and the US both meddled abroad—Cuba was a Cold War proxy.

Firsthand Cuba: Call-in from Sergio Chicon

(19:29–22:12)

• Sergio describes Cuba as "suspended in time" with scarce goods, food rations, and melancholy but very nice people. Streets are safe but there's"no internet—you have to go to a park to get internet."
  • Quote: "It was nice to visit one good time. I'm not sure if I would go again." — Sergio (21:52)

Present Day: Cuba Gets Squeezed

(28:44–32:26, 36:46–37:57)

• US continues to "squeeze" Cuba, with sanctions and oil blockades led by politicians like Trump and Rubio.
  • Flotillas (aid convoys) carrying supplies from Mexico to Havana aim to relieve hardship, as referenced in news about "influencers" and hip-hop group Kneecap making headlines for their political stances.
• Yannis critiques direct economic strangling of Cuba, arguing for "soft power"—propaganda, culture, and capitalism's seductions.

Political Humor: Call-in with Tim Dillon

(33:54–37:28)

• Tim brings sharp satire, longing for "old criminal Trump," Greeks back in diners, and the Irish back running New York—parodying archetypes from 20th-century America.
  • Quote: "I don't believe in physically going and being confronted with my ideas. I would just rather…I don't want to see it." — Tim (35:32)
• Amused resignation about America’s endless culture wars and the futility of interventionist policies.

Reflections and World Systems

(44:15–47:17)

• The only "pure" communist holdouts: Cuba and North Korea; China, Laos, and Vietnam still "communist" in name but opened up markets and now thrive economically.
• Poland’s turnaround from poverty to prosperity after ditching communism; hosts joke about its monoethnic Catholicism.
• Key insight: what actually works in the world are hybrid, mixed economies ("Cuban-Chinese fusion").

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On human diversity:
  "If you ever need to update your software in your brain to the fact that everyone is different...go to 'barefoot hunter 5.'" — Yannis (04:21)

• On communism’s failures:
  "The only thing that seems to work is a mixed economy. A little bit of both." — Yannis (44:34)

• Tim Dillon’s zinger:
  "I don't believe in physically going and being confronted with my ideas." — Tim (35:32)

• On nostalgia for the past:
  "We want movies and TV shows and people molesting everyone—as I said, you know, if you want movies to get good again, you bring…Get Weinstein out of the jail cell. Let's go back to the way it was." — Chris (38:07)

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Important Timestamps

• [12:45] – Transition to Cuba's Special Period
• [19:29–22:12] – Sergio Chicon’s call-in: firsthand account of modern-day Cuba
• [26:22] – Soviet Union's support for Cuba ends; the “Special Period” begins
• [30:26] – Cuba forced to revert back to horse-and-buggies in the ‘90s
• [33:54] – Tim Dillon joins with satirical commentary
• [36:46] – Why the US squeezes Cuba (sanctions, oil, Cold War legacy)
• [37:57] – Yannis argues for "soft power" over sanctions
• [44:15] – Only two communist "holdouts" left: Cuba and North Korea
• [47:17] – Countries that ditched communism (Poland, Vietnam, Laos) now growing fast

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Final Thoughts

The episode wraps up with the hosts humorously lamenting how much they'd prefer things "the old way" before everyone had so much information and anxiety about global affairs. They highlight the resilience, struggles, and absurdities of Cuba’s journey, hopping between economic theory and off-color comedy with abandon. Even in their most unsparing jokes, Chris and Yannis drive home how deeply history and human difference shape our world—and always keep it unpredictable.

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Summary Table: "Special Period" in Cuba

| Year | Event/Condition | Impact | |-------------|---------------------|-----------------------------------------------| | 1950s–1959 | Batista regime | Wealth inequality, mafia stronghold | | 1959 | Cuban Revolution | Castro ousts Batista, communism installed | | 1960s–1991 | Soviet support | Subsidies, cheap oil, market security | | 1991 | USSR collapses | Trade drops 80%, GDP shrinks by 30%+, shortages| | 1990s | "Special Period" | Food, fuel rations, horse-and-buggies return | | 2000s–Now | US embargo/sanctions| Ongoing hardship, limited reforms, little progress|

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Bottom Line:
This episode is classic History Hyenas—equal parts education, wild humor, and insightful chitchat filtered through Chris and Yannis’ riotous chemistry. If you want a crash course in post-Cold-War Cuba, delivered with the energy of a late-night hang and the irreverence of two history-obsessed comedians, you’re in the right place.

Transcript

[Yannis Pappas]

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[Chris Distefano]

We're the greatest partners of all time.

[Yannis Pappas]

New friends, Gary the Snake and your

[Chris Distefano]

last name the snake Dream team. And new habitats.

[Yannis Pappas]

Zootopia has a secret reptile population. You can watch the record breaking phenomenon at home. Zootopia 2 now available on Disney. Rated PG. And right now you can get Disney plus and Hulu for just 4.99amonth for three months with a special limited time offer ends March 24th. After three months, Plan Auto renews at 1299amonth. Terms apply.

[Chris Distefano]

Cuz we're going to be talking about Cuba's special period. And make no mistake, it's not about special needs people.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, it's not. We're going to talk all about Cuba. It's relevant. Today we get a phone call from Tim Dillon. We call Sergio Chicon. Patreon.com/history Hyenas for our bonus episodes. To get these episodes a day early, uncensored and ad free, it is all the rage. Go chat with our friends. See me on the road in Boston in West Nyack, New York and Emmaus, Pennsylvania. [e-mail] now strap on.

[Chris Distefano]

What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm Chrissy D. That's Yanni P. Make absolutely no mistake, we just did an hour episode and it got so wild that we said we have to put that on Patreon. So if you want to hear maybe the wildest hour of stuff you've ever heard, definitely the most wild. 5 minutes. Go to patreon.com/history hyenas because yeah, we just went off because I'm on peptides, I'm on Coffee and St. John's One. So I'm fueled by Jesus Christ.

[Yannis Pappas]

It was a fun one. You don't want to miss it. It was a fun one. It went off the rails. Usually we do the main episode first and then we do the Patreon. But sometimes, like we said, I'll repeat it again. We don't choose the Patreon. The Patreon chooses us.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is now. Cuz. I just want to tell you that.

[Yannis Pappas]

Tell me something.

[Chris Distefano]

You look kind of beefy today.

[Yannis Pappas]

You like that?

[Chris Distefano]

I like that you look beefy. Cause you're looking more and more like a bear.

[Yannis Pappas]

Does that make you go pewing? Do you get to tingle? Are you read ready to pout?

[Chris Distefano]

Because as we coined myself on the Patreon, I like the Tingle. I am Tingle Bell.

[Yannis Pappas]

You are Tingle Bell.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And you are the Tingle Nader. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm Chris Tingle.

[Yannis Pappas]

You're Chris Tingle is. Yeah. You are a kid who likes to chase the Tingle.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

You're a kid who likes to chase the action. You're a kid who's built for capitalism. Can you imagine Chris DiStefano living in communism? You'd have to be on so many antidepressants, because you're not. You can strive.

[Chris Distefano]

You can't achieve. No.

[Yannis Pappas]

You can't bug chase.

[Chris Distefano]

No, I can't bug chase. Now, this guy, go back, go up to his instagram name. Barefoot Hunter 5 is a guy that I found that I Yanni likes big. This guy likes to just twinkle his toes. And I sent it to Yanni because stuff like this gives Yanni that tingle.

[Yannis Pappas]

Now, this is the opposite of what gives me the tingle.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And it is very funny. It amuses me that there are guys in the chat right here going, delicioso, yes, Daddy Fire. So there are guys who do, like a guy's foot. Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

And one of the Instagram names, liking the post is Peter Papas.

[Yannis Pappas]

Do you know, it's so funny because the.

[Chris Distefano]

It's the op.

[Yannis Pappas]

Like, it's still a foot, right? But it's somehow. It's the opposite, right? It's like, it's weird because a woman's foot and a man's foot is still a foot, right? But as far as attractiveness goes, it is the opposite. It's like pizza and shit.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

You know? Yeah, it's the opposite.

[Chris Distefano]

Go back. Can you go back? There's a couple of ones because I've perused, I've commented on this guy stuff for. Go down a little bit.

[Yannis Pappas]

This makes you laugh.

[Chris Distefano]

Big. This makes me laugh. Big. Big, big, big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go to this a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This one. Yeah, that one. That one makes me laugh. Big.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And it's just. You look at these pictures and it's just people putting fire emojis and hearts and splash signs and they really, really, really like bare Foot Hunter five. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

So this is what, if you ever wanted to know, here's the thing. Everyone thinks everyone projects and everyone thinks that they think just like them, right? If you ever, like, need to update your software in your brain to the fact that everyone is different and you can't control other people and you just have to let people be free, go to bear foot hunter 5 5.

[Chris Distefano]

Great.

[Yannis Pappas]

And you'll see some people have different Brains. Everyone gets a tingle from something different. We're not all chasing the same tingle. And thank God we were, because nobody would get. There would be an overflow of demand for the single tingle.

[Chris Distefano]

And I'm happy that he's sharing this planet with other people who think opposite. Like, you know, he. We have him, who we love very much, and then we also have the Iranian Republican Guard.

[Yannis Pappas]

We got that. And that's just too. That's like oil and water. Like, they're just not going to mix, and that's okay.

[Chris Distefano]

I want him to have a place here. And I don't. You know, we don't follow him from the history account, but I do follow him from Christie Comedy, when you think about it.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, it's like the world is like a jail. You look at jail, right? It's.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Yannis Pappas]

Not everyone hangs out, but they accept each other on the yard. But they all got their different gangs, the world. You got your ayatollah and your Shia Muslims over here, and then you go over to America and you got a nice gay, barefoot community over here.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Like, go down a little bit. And what I will say is, this man's very healthy. If you look, because. Go down. Keep going down. Keep going down. There's one where. Yes. So we got a couple of these. Couple of these. You might notice some familiar faces. Yeah. Go to this one. See, all the way to the left, third row, where he's going to wiggle them. See? Yeah. Go to that one. See, he's got really good foot dexterity. You see how he can. He can really, like, wiggle his toes and move them? See? Like, I can't. I can't do that. You see, like, if you ask me to wiggle my toes, see, I can't. I can't. I can't wiggle them. So this is not what he wants.

[Yannis Pappas]

No.

[Chris Distefano]

Because, like, if you asked me to spread my toes, I go, spread your toes. You're going to spread my toes?

[Yannis Pappas]

Spread your toes?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. They don't work. I can't spread them out. I can't control them.

[Yannis Pappas]

You're going to have to go spread your toes. Yeah. You can't.

[Chris Distefano]

All I can do.

[Yannis Pappas]

They won't.

[Chris Distefano]

They won't open up.

[Yannis Pappas]

You're gonna need multiple surgeries on those feet.

[Chris Distefano]

Dude, my. Look, look. So this is me. I'm holding my foot. No, no, no, no.

[Yannis Pappas]

I want to point something out right now.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

I cannot see his toes from this angle. From this angle, I can only see the big toe, and I'm not Making it up. I can't see the other toes. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Because they're blocking.

[Yannis Pappas]

They're blocked because they're behind the big toe.

[Chris Distefano]

And you see, what happens with my foot here is. Is because right now I'm holding it up and this is painful. So my natural is just this. It just fl.

[Yannis Pappas]

The funny thing about your feet. Because.

[Chris Distefano]

Ask me to flex my toes.

[Yannis Pappas]

Flex your toes. You know what the funny thing is? If you left a footprint, I would know you were the murderer because there would be no toe prints.

[Chris Distefano]

No toe.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because your toes don't actually touch the ground.

[Chris Distefano]

No. Can you touch.

[Yannis Pappas]

Can you push them forward?

[Chris Distefano]

What?

[Yannis Pappas]

Push the other toes forward.

[Chris Distefano]

I can't. I could just move the big toe and then the one. See, I can only move this one because it's connected. But the rest of them don't move.

[Yannis Pappas]

I can't see your other toes.

[Chris Distefano]

The rest of them don't move.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, I can't see it. Yeah. Because it's bad, right? Yeah. Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

The bottom of my feet. Yellow. My kids tell me the bottom of my feet looks like I dipped in a macaroni and cheese powder.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, but you have a big bump on the side there.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. Because that's. That. That's like an Achilles heel. Like a. Like a corn. Like a. It's some. It's some type of. It's on the bone. It's like extra calcium buildup from just getting beat up. And this. The. Think about. These puppies have been smushed into high heels multiple times.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's the thing. It looks like they were shaped at a high heel. It looks like your toes never got the message that there was more room in the shoe.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And you know what's unfortunate because is my beautiful baby daughter has my feet, which. She came out of the womb. Violet. She came out of the womb with the toes like this. And Jasmine was the first thing Jasmine looked at because Jasmine's got. Jasmine's a beautiful, beautiful girl. 10 out of 10. But her feet look like Princess Fiona from Shrek.

[Yannis Pappas]

She's got some bad ones. She's got some flat, flat feet that doubled up.

[Chris Distefano]

A lot of times it looks like she's just wearing stubs. Her feet look melted into the floor. So combined, you know, combine, you know, Jasmine's beautiful, but unfortunately, she's got her pops. Feet.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right. Right.

[Chris Distefano]

So that's, you know, and so. But my daughter, you know, it's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's better than getting your pop's face because sometimes you look at a girl and you go, she got her dad's

[Chris Distefano]

got her dad's face.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Got a dad's face. Unfortunately.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. It's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

So it's better to just have the feet.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I mean, the guy, Fabio, 1250, wrote speechless in loop from half an hour. Two of my fetishes together. Leather shoes and wrinkled feet. That's what he likes. And he wrote speechless. S, P, E, A, C, H, like a peach.

[Yannis Pappas]

I will say this about the guy's feet. He does like the feet are symmetrical.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, he's got great feet. And he's. The only thing is, though, if he's wearing those with no socks, he's going to have fumes.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's definitely. Well, it's a guy's foot, so I can't believe any guy would want to put that in the mouth. Or any guy would want to.

[Chris Distefano]

His partner. He puts his feet in his mouth. Big.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes. So it just shows you everyone's. We got different brains, right? With the same species, different brains. There's no species on the planet Interspecies that has as much variation as we do.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

You don't go to a tiger. One goes, you know, I. I like male tigers feet. Not like women's tiger's feet.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's just. They're pretty much tigers.

[Chris Distefano]

They're just tigers. And it's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

And these guys. And these are bears? Yes, these are bears and cubs. Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

This guy's a bit just what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Handsome older gentleman, though.

[Chris Distefano]

Very handsome older gentleman. Yeah. Very good. Very good. Put together a lot more in shape

[Yannis Pappas]

than his boyfriend who's. Who has anteater tits right there.

[Chris Distefano]

Right? Yes. But look at this, right?

[Yannis Pappas]

This is just. This is just for some people, but not for me. Right?

[Chris Distefano]

See, I'm into it. I'm okay with this.

[Yannis Pappas]

You like to look at it?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah. And the Seattle dad is the other guy. All right, good. Yeah. Good for these boys.

[Yannis Pappas]

This is called bear beard brushing, yo.

[Chris Distefano]

It's every. Listen, there's a place for everybody, Nick. Don't you feel. How do you feel with this, Rick? You guys are fucking gay

[Yannis Pappas]

now.

[Chris Distefano]

You.

[Yannis Pappas]

Does this calm you down?

[Chris Distefano]

Watching calms me down. Yeah. Calms me down. And you know what actually really has been calming me down is petting my dog. Calms me down.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's what it does.

[Chris Distefano]

I've been picking her up like a baby. Do you ever do that? You pick her up like a baby and hold her?

[Yannis Pappas]

My guys, my. Both my dogs are way too big to pick up.

[Chris Distefano]

They won't let her.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. They're just too big to hold. Now my dog is 70 pounds and my other one's like 67 pounds. They're just big dogs. Big dogs can't pick them up. My daughters are getting so big it makes me feel weak now. It's tough to pick them up. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Go to the gym.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. My wife picks him up easier.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, your wife's in better shape than you were at the wedding with her.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, she's my wife. I don't know. Women can put them on the hip a little better.

[Chris Distefano]

No, you know what it is?

[Yannis Pappas]

They have like a hip thing.

[Chris Distefano]

The hip thing. And also too even with me. I'm joking. My jazz still will still pick up my 10 year old at times. She just does it. And also kids just want to be with their mas. They don't really want to be with their dads.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, they don't want to be with their dads.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, you throw. I put my kids on my shoulders a lot. You do shoulders? I do show the shoulders a lot.

[Yannis Pappas]

I do shoulders a lot. And then they, she, we play a game called control your head.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Where she just moves my head like that and yeah. Follow the direction.

[Chris Distefano]

Or horsey. You ever, you horse, you go around with them, you know, on, on the back. Horsey. Or you do or you do. Or if you doing a workout, you incorporate them, you use them as the weights. You could do that when you're working out now with guys like us, when you got little kids, you're working out for your kids. There were times when my daughters were younger, I'd be like, oh, let me go into the gym. But they wanted to play. But now I don't do that. I'm like, if they want to play, I'm like, this is the work, what you're working out so you can play with your kids.

[Yannis Pappas]

Let me ask you this. When I do this with her, up and down. Could that have been when I pulled it?

[Chris Distefano]

Well, that could have been when you pulled it, but it could have been. I, I, I'm not 100 because I do this right. You could that but it's definitely, you know, making it worse. But I mean, cuz you got to do it. Your daughters, you got to pick up your daughters.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, I got a crook in my back.

[Chris Distefano]

You crick in your back? Yeah, and I've never heard the word crick, but I like it.

[Yannis Pappas]

Crook.

[Chris Distefano]

Crook.

[Yannis Pappas]

A crack is it? Don't they call it a crook or a crack?

[Chris Distefano]

I don't know, crank.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, you're the doctor, you're the one who feels.

[Chris Distefano]

Because I'll tell you.

[Yannis Pappas]

What is it, what's the official.

[Chris Distefano]

Even though I'm not a doctor, I could tell you that a crook is not medical jargon.

[Yannis Pappas]

I got a crook in my back. You've heard that, right? My neck is crooked. Kink in my back.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, Chrissy's got a kink on his Instagram.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I got a kick right now. We're looking at a kink now again, talking about our beautiful nation in the United States of America. Again, what is acceptable? We accept everybody here. Okay? You can have an Instagram account where you're wiggling your toes and it can get likes and hearts emojis in a place like Cuba that's mostly communist. I don't know if they'll even let you have Instagram there. Okay, Right. Well, will they? They probably won't.

[Yannis Pappas]

So, again, it's very controlled.

[Chris Distefano]

We're going to talk about a little time period in Cuban history called the Special Period. Okay? And.

[Yannis Pappas]

And which is the island was taken over by special needs kids.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Could you imagine if that happened?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Special period. I don't know why they call this period the special period, but it's funny. Yeah. But Cuba, first of all, Cuban girls got. Are we in the Patreon?

[Chris Distefano]

No, this is the YouTube.

[Yannis Pappas]

Cuban girls got fun personalities.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah. Cuban girls are hot. And they're Jews.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, there's Jews.

[Chris Distefano]

A lot of Cubans are Jews, right? Yeah, Isn't that. That's a fact.

[Yannis Pappas]

They got Jews in all those countries,

[Chris Distefano]

but a lot of Cuban Jews in there. Yeah, Cuban girls are gorgeous.

[Yannis Pappas]

Like the Mexican. The Mexican president is Jewish, right?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I mean, this is a little too hard to take.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's. Yeah, it's just.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just actually a little too hard to take. Like, I. It's a little too much like, look at this. Go to Pin by Bass guy. Go, go. Like, see down in the. One more over. I mean. Yeah, like, it's a little too hard to take because, you know, usually what snaps you out of it is you say, well, think about, like, if she was shitting on you and, like, her smells, and then you're like, oh, that's nasty. But, like, truth is, I'd open my mouth.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. That's what I say. Some girls, you just. You want to slurp their poop. Right?

[Sergio Chicon]

Just.

[Chris Distefano]

What is. We can get in trouble for the wives, but not. We could do.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because that's the male brain going, like, I can't handle it. Like, whatever. You want I'll slurp your poop.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, look at that. It's just tough to take.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I actually don't even want to look at it. You know, I'd rather watch, you know, the fucking prayer group in Washington Square. Washington Square Park. Yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, from. From the equator down, you're just going to get a nice. You're just gonna get. You know how bananas grow in certain areas.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Tobacco grows in certain climates.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Just hot women grow in certain climates. And they just look nice. They got a golden look. Mediterranean in Europe, all the way down to the Caribbean in the United States. You're just gonna get yourself a nice golden babe.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

You'll get yourself a golden babe.

[Chris Distefano]

You know, and I like saying the word babe. We talked about the babes of Iran. Yeah, I like to. Now we'll talk about the babes of Cuba. If you're a babe, the thing is from whatever country you're from, if you're a babe, you're in. That's what it is. And that's the way it is at nightclubs. That's the way it is in the world.

[Yannis Pappas]

We have our own idea on what the immigration policy the United States should be. And I think all men are in agreement.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

I don't think it's unique to the history hyenas. I think every man has the same idea. It's like open the border, sex based.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

Ladies in guys now.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's what it is now, cuz. Tell me about the special period. Because you were big this morning. I said, what do you want to do? Here's what I text you this morning. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And we're back.

[Chris Distefano]

And we're back.

[Yannis Pappas]

You could go just go to. If you want to join at our highest tier, you can. You could enjoy some of our text messages. They're a little less than PC.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah, they are. And they're nc17patreon.com history is where all the fun happens. I mean, tell me about Cuba, because I like to. You got on to. You got on your Cuba gear today.

[Yannis Pappas]

Cuba, they love jamon. Cuban sandwich, it's just hamon and mustard.

[Chris Distefano]

My name is Cuban Pete. I'm the king of the salsa beat and my pedda maracos. I go chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom. That's from the Mask.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, Cubans. You know, Miami is mostly Cuban. Miami, they're mostly Cuban. The sons and daughters or grandchildren or direct refugees from the island of Cuba who Tend who? Tend to vote to the right.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

They turn to red. Turn vote to the right. And they don't like cash. So they get very offended by cash.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, I thought they liked him.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, in Miami.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, not Miami.

[Yannis Pappas]

So Cuba's an Island. It's 90 miles off the coast of Florida. It's so close to us and it's one of the two fully communist countries left. There's only two left.

[Chris Distefano]

North Korea and Cuba.

[Yannis Pappas]

Cuba. I mean, you got Laos and you got Vietnam and you got China, but those three countries have opened up their markets.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

And what's happened when they've opened up their markets is that those countries have started to do real good.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Unfortunately, they've done. And I get it. Look, I hate capitalism too. Right. It's arrogant. It's like the Patriots, they always win.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And they're annoying about it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Just once I would love to see a country have a financial turnaround and it was due to the long term economic effects of Hasan Piker's live streams.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Yannis Pappas]

But we haven't had that yet.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Yannis Pappas]

We have not had that yet.

[Chris Distefano]

That was a wild thing. Set me. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

But so far it's been capitalism that just seems to work. But.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Cuba don't got none of that.

[Chris Distefano]

They don't have any.

[Yannis Pappas]

They don't got any of that.

[Chris Distefano]

Now Cuba, you a capitalist, kid. I'm a capitalist cutie. I like capitalism big. But I think that somebody was telling me that Trump said that he's going to take Cuba for the United States. Did you see that?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, he just said, I'll do it. I'll do what I want with it.

[Chris Distefano]

Do I have a video of that?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, I'm. Some places probably he's just. Because what are you going to do about Cuba? I'll do it. I'll decide and I'll do whatever I want with it.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, it would be nice to have Cuba 90 miles off the coast of Florida. Be nice. Because there's some babes in Cuba, there's some beds.

[Yannis Pappas]

But right now what him and Ruby are doing, unfortunately, is they're strangling Cuba. Why?

[Chris Distefano]

What are they doing?

[Yannis Pappas]

They got a nice little blockade on it. They're not letting any oil come in. They're really. They're putting a squeeze on.

[Chris Distefano]

And is that because is the fear there that, you know, with the potential war with Russia or in Iran and all that, that they don't want Cuba to like, they want it to be like a staging ground or something for their enemy? Why are they choking out Cuba because

[Yannis Pappas]

it's in our hemisphere. The Monroe Doctrine and we're going China out. We're taking everything. It's all going to be American. We're not going to where, you know, we've had this policy since like the 50s or whatever, all the way back to JFK that like, you know, we have sanctions on Cuba and Cubans are more moral enemy and they're communists and we're capitalists. It's a cold war proxy, you know, Bay of Pigs, all that. You know, the deal.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

So it was a capitalist place. It was a corrupt capitalist place, but it's not anymore. And yeah, it was under Bautista and the guys before him, and they were, you know, it was. It became a mafia playground and corrupt. And, you know, there was a lot of wealth inequality and tourism was big and casinos and shit. And then Castro came in and he said, viva Cuba. And we're gonna. For the workers and we're kicking capitalism out. And they became communist cuties.

[Chris Distefano]

It's communist cuties. Sergio went to Cuba.

[Yannis Pappas]

I know.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you know that? Should we call him? Let's call him up. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because I don't think he loved it, but I think he's gonna say it was great.

[Chris Distefano]

Let's see.

[Yannis Pappas]

You know who went to Cuba and just was honest, like, just told Angelo Lozado was like, I hated it.

[Chris Distefano]

Did he go with Sergio?

[Yannis Pappas]

He was like, you go to a store and there's like one box of Band Aids.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

On the shelf. You gotta go louder on it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, let's see.

[Yannis Pappas]

Hello. Sergio's a white kid with a lot of Portuguese and Spanish Conquistador DNA family events.

[Chris Distefano]

Yo, yo, we're on. You're on the podcast History.

[Sergio Chicon]

I can't talk now. I thought it was an emergency.

[Yannis Pappas]

We wanted to ask you what I'm doing. We want to ask you about Cuba.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, yeah, we want to ask you.

[Sergio Chicon]

I can't. I can't do it right now. I'm being naughty.

[Chris Distefano]

What are you doing?

[Sergio Chicon]

I'm having. I'm having breakfast with my daughter.

[Chris Distefano]

Brett, it's two o'clock in the afternoon.

[Sergio Chicon]

Yo. You know how he do.

[Chris Distefano]

She's not even in school, yo. I know you don't care. What are you giving her? Snake food? Yo, just real quick, 30 seconds. How would. How did you like Cuba when you went.

[Sergio Chicon]

Give me one second. It was a. A bit suspense. It was suspended in time. Everything was old and kind of broken down. The food wasn't great. There's a ration on like all the products there, but the people were very Nice. The streets felt very safe and there was a melancholy feel to it, though. It was like very, you know, they were very passive about tourists and. Yeah, that was my feeling. It was. You know, I went to a boxing academy there and the instructor made me work on my job for two hours while smoking cigarettes in the background.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Well, I guess you'll say that maybe mom Donnie should go there and he'll make everything better. Yeah. But.

[Sergio Chicon]

Yeah. Would I visit again? I don't know, man. It wasn't, you know, there wasn't a lot of excitement there. It felt like a very. Yeah, it was reduced to. To virtually just a very. There's no Internet, you know.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Sergio Chicon]

There's a. You got to go to a park to get Internet and. Yeah, it was, you know, a place that I was. It was nice to visit one good time. I'm not sure if I would go again.

[Chris Distefano]

You got a prostitute. Saying a prostitute is funny, right?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's. It's a sex worker.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a sex worker. All right, cuz, go. Go back with your little baby girl.

[Yannis Pappas]

You just took a. Took a.

[Sergio Chicon]

Guys, later.

[Chris Distefano]

Later, bro. Thank you.

[Yannis Pappas]

Talk to. Talk to his two very immature friends who are at work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're at work. Hey, like, it's almost like you said, my dad used to say to his secretary, can you get Mr. Chicot on the line? Now we just go like this. Hey, man, you got a prostitute, didn't you?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a work call, though. That was a work.

[Chris Distefano]

That was a workload. That's legitimate work. That was. We're legitimately working in here for our families.

[Yannis Pappas]

That was a work.

[Chris Distefano]

That was a work related phone call.

[Yannis Pappas]

That was a work call.

[Chris Distefano]

Because one thing I know about you is that you love Lucy. Got one in your. In your mouth right now. You like a little nicotine?

[Yannis Pappas]

I'm a nicotine addicted human being.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And I like Lucy.

[Chris Distefano]

You like Lucy?

[Yannis Pappas]

I like Lucy because his pronouns she, her, nicotine.

[Chris Distefano]

Cause you got nicked by your sexuality and you got nicked by nicotine.

[Yannis Pappas]

I got nicked by nicotine and my sexuality. 100% nicotine. Always tobacco free. I love it because I subscribe, cuz that's what I do. That's what I do, is you sign up, at the end of the day, it just comes to your house. You don't have to worry about anything. Or you could go to Lucy Co

[Chris Distefano]

stores, whatever you want. Huh?

[Yannis Pappas]

Find them by you. But they're everywhere. Just buy Lucy. They're great. The flavors are great. And the breakers give you an extra little splash of flavor in your mouth.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, cuz I mean and you know I, I've Lucy, the, the you know, family members that, that I have that do this love Lucy they said like you said, the flavors, they said the strength is just perfect. And if you guys want to get in on a little Lucy for a little nicotine, all you gotta do is go to Lucy Co stores, put in that code hyenas. Lucy is the only pouch that gives you the long lasting flavor whenever you need it. Get 20% off your first order when you buy online with code hyenas. And if you don't want to wait, just head to Lucy Co stores to find Lucy near you and grab it today.

[Yannis Pappas]

And here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

[Chris Distefano]

Cuz everybody in this room has good hair, including Nick. And you know why? Because everybody's using a little thing called hims.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, you gotta get your hair right and you get your hair right with hims. When your hair starts to thin, what you do is you hit up hims. That's what you do. That's who you call, who you gonna call. You're gonna check out him.

[Chris Distefano]

It's like peptides for your hair.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's peptides for your hair. It's real simple. All you gotta do cuz they offer convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that actually work, including chews, oral medication, serums and sprays. So you take your pick cuz and

[Chris Distefano]

they got doctor trusted ingredients like finasteride and minoxidil. They can stop further hair loss and regrow your hair in as little as three to six months. For simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss, weight loss and more, visit hims.com hyenas that's hims.com hyenas for your free online visit himss.com hyenas Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety.

[Yannis Pappas]

So you know, Cuba had the revolution and then from there on America was like no bueno, no bueno, Buno bueno. We don't like you. And so they were like we're not going to trade with you. And then blah blah, blah blah blah. And then the Soviet Union. See a lot of people, what I find interesting is a lot of people don't know that the Soviet Union used to subsidize a lot of these countries. Because they wanted them to work. They wanted. They were trying to spread communism, we were trying to spread capitalism. Everyone always thinks it's just us.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

That was doing like the influence, the soft power and the, you know, we were doing it with the CIA and stuff like that. They were doing it with like subsidies. They were sending like cheap oil. They would send like rice. They would send money. They were, you know, they were helping Cuba a lot. Right, right. And then the Soviet Union was doing that for a lot of countries. They were doing that for Vietnam. They were doing it just like we were doing it for other countries. They were sending it to the Eastern bloc. Hungary, Romania. Miscellaneous white countries.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Yannis Pappas]

Poland.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And then they crumbled. They overspent. And then when they had their. When Gorbachev had the perestroka and he was like, all right, we're cutting off all of our aid to these countries. And then boom. So the teat, the teeth stopped for Cuba and then Cuba completely crashed. And that is what we call the special period.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And that brings us. That's 1991. That was a big time. You were like just a little baby.

[Chris Distefano]

I was a little seven year old little baby.

[Yannis Pappas]

You were a seven year old baby. This was big news on tv.

[Chris Distefano]

I was what we call a Hitler Youth Day. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

But we, this was a time was all over the news. The, the, the East German wall came down. Germany got reunited. The Eastern bloc fell.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Soviet Union broke up and people were going like, communism's over. Right. Like, oh, it just didn't work.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And then a little kid, kid named Mondami was born somewhere in Sri Lanka or something.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Uganda.

[Yannis Pappas]

Uganda. And they were like bringing it back.

[Chris Distefano]

But wait, so. So it's theoretically then. So the only two. But what makes a country communist? Like, why is Cuba and North Korea, like, they don't have. You cannot trade with them at all. 0.

[Yannis Pappas]

America doesn't trade with Cuba. But then Obama tried to open it up a little bit.

[Chris Distefano]

He did for a little bit.

[Yannis Pappas]

And then Trump came in and reversed all that.

[Chris Distefano]

And what's the reason why Trump reversed it?

[Yannis Pappas]

Was to squeeze them, was to get them out.

[Chris Distefano]

So he wants to get the who out? The Russians?

[Yannis Pappas]

No, he wants to get the regime out.

[Chris Distefano]

He wants a regime change, just like in Iran.

[Yannis Pappas]

He wants to. He wants the communists out.

[Chris Distefano]

So does that rubo.

[Yannis Pappas]

Rubio's Cuban and he wants him out.

[Chris Distefano]

So could it, theoretically, could we start dropping bombs on Cuba too?

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, we're not going to drop bombs on Cuba.

[Chris Distefano]

That's not going to Happen.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, we're not going to do.

[Chris Distefano]

They're going to try to do this diplomatically.

[Yannis Pappas]

I think we're going to run out of them over Iran. Yeah, it's I think running low. Yeah, I think, I mean, I think we're lighting it up. Yeah. And I think we're going to run low. I mean we don't have infinite amount of bombs.

[Chris Distefano]

No, I know, but yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Pretty soon we're going to have to buy. We're gonna have to have them made in China. That would be ironic.

[Chris Distefano]

We start bomb. If we. If the only place to turn to is Iran, we gotta buy the bombs from Iran and then use them.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. I was about to say, cuz if we eventually buy in China, do you think they're gonna be made in China and they're gonna bomb themselves?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's probably what it is. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. No, I don't think we're gonna buy my ramp. But what we. What was happening. So then we had this period called the special period in 19.

[Chris Distefano]

A funny name.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a funny name for a very horrible thing. So I don't know why it's called the Special period. Yeah, because it was. Things got really bad. It's not special. It wasn't special at all. No, no, it wasn't special. It was when Soviet Union collapsed, then Cuba's kind of subsidy collapsed. They were, they were subsidizing them. They were living off them.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's almost like Cuba. Was Nick still living at his mom's house.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

And then his mom was like, you gotta move out.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

And then Nick was like, what?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And then. So Nick went through a special period. Right?

[Chris Distefano]

He went through a special period.

[Yannis Pappas]

He went through a special period. So.

[Chris Distefano]

So that's funny. If we were good, if the special period. If we were going to put the Cuba special period into a person, we would have a dress like Nick. It would be dressed like NWO shirt. Orange sneakers.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, orange sneakers.

[Chris Distefano]

Oatmeal he made from home.

[Yannis Pappas]

Exactly. Bringing a thermos kind of stuff.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. So. And then Soviet Union, the parents said, we can't, we can't give you. We can't pay for this anymore.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

You gotta go get a job.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

You gotta go do some.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

And so Cuba panicked and they're like, what are you talking about? Yeah, I like to sit around and fucking. Just smoke weed and.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

You know, scroll my phone all day.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's what it is. I like to jerk off to wrestlers from the 90s. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

So their economy like collapsed Quick, right.

[Chris Distefano]

It was, it was 80% of their trade got lost.

[Yannis Pappas]

Got. Just went straight down. Their fuel imports were gone and their economy collapsed. And here's what's crazy about it. It happened so fast. I think their GDP like shrunk like 30% immediately. Some number. Who cares? It's egghead shit. The point is they started bringing back horse and buggies. Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

In 1991.

[Yannis Pappas]

In 1991, they started bringing back horse and buggies.

[Chris Distefano]

Holy smokes.

[Yannis Pappas]

And their grid, you know, their grid's been going down forever. Right. Now it's relevant because there's a flotilla that went there to say we got flotillas going.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, Greta Thunberg.

[Yannis Pappas]

But it's. It's Hassan Piker and a couple others. They went on a flotilla or fly tiller. Right. And they got in a plane and they're going to give aid to the Cubans because there's a blackout. There's like they're getting no electricity. They have to ration the electricity.

[Chris Distefano]

So what are they going to do to help them?

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, they're right now because they were getting their oil from Cuba and America just took out their, their, their guy Maduro.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

So now we're going. No. And now we're blocking all their oil.

[Chris Distefano]

So Irish hip hop group NICAP joined and they dress like Hamas. Right?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Now what is a flotilla?

[Chris Distefano]

I don't. That's what I'm saying.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because there was a flotilla that went to Gaza too. What is a flotilla?

[Chris Distefano]

So it says aid delivered. It carried approximately 30 to 50 tons of supplies, including rice, beans, medicine, and roughly 100 solar panels to help with the island's power shortages. The main ships were expected to dock in Havana, March 21, 2026. And the flotilla set sail from the coast of Mexico.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, I mean, the what. What Cuba has is tons of sugar.

[Chris Distefano]

They got a lot of sugar.

[Yannis Pappas]

Prosperous. They used to make so much sugar. Now the amount of sugar they make is less than the sugar that they made in like in the 1880s. Really? Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just like a sucar.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. You just can't get them to produce the sugar that the way that they did. You know, it's centralization. Right, Right. So it's like the government runs everything. And so they went through this special period where they started. They just. You had to pick up your date and horse and buggy.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just what it is what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

You had to get Cinderella back home before midnight.

[Chris Distefano]

So it's not like. It's just. It's pretty simple that like. Cause I know somebody could talk us into it, why communism could be better and show you. But the truth is, if you don't have to rack your brain, communism just doesn't work with human beings.

[Yannis Pappas]

I thought we were there. It just doesn' reached a period where we were like, unfettered capitalism doesn't work. Right. We saw the stock market crash. We, you know, we got close to unfettered capitalism and like, oh, this is, you know, it creates inequality, right? Because you look at it, it's like they're. They both create inequality. It's funny, when communists say, like, oh, capitalism creates inequality, you go, how about communism? Yeah, it's just Jordan and LeBron.

[Chris Distefano]

That's all it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, yes, capitalism creates inequality. We're seeing it now, right? But look at communism. I would say communism, inequality might even be more because there's actually less people at the top and more people at the bottom, right? So there's no middle.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, there's nobody. Nobody has any money in Cuba besides the tippity, tippity top now.

[Yannis Pappas]

And the interesting thing about this is I think people just think that, like, we're the only ones who does, like, foreign meddling and stuff like that. But, you know, the United. The USSR was like, giving them stuff, like, to prop them up, right? Like we do with the. Our proxies, right? So they were buying sugar, like, at a high price. Like, they were overpaying for the Cuban sugar, right. In order to help Cuba, right. They were sending them cheap oil and letting them resell the oil to make money, right. It was all. It was like. It never was a sustainable thing. It was propped up by the Soviet Union.

[Chris Distefano]

By the Soviet Union, yeah. And I saw. I just saw that Raul Castro in 2006. Fidel's brother. I'm sorry? Fidel Castro's fortune in 2006 was 900 million. No, no, no. Yeah. Should we pick it up, Timmy D?

[Yannis Pappas]

Sure, pick it up. Ask him what he thinks about Cuba.

[Chris Distefano]

Or maybe now, right? Should we do it? Tim, what's up? What's up, baby? We're on the pod. We're on the hyenas.

[Tim Dillon]

How.

[Yannis Pappas]

Which.

[Sergio Chicon]

Who?

[Tim Dillon]

You and Giannis.

[Chris Distefano]

Me and Yanis. History hyenas. We were just talking about Cuba.

[Tim Dillon]

What's going on? What do you guys think about that?

[Chris Distefano]

We think that, you know, Hassan and.

[Tim Dillon]

Is Giannis there?

[Chris Distefano]

Yanis is here.

[Tim Dillon]

Giannis, can you hear me?

[Yannis Pappas]

I can hear you.

[Tim Dillon]

Awesome. So a mozzarella sticks here. Cheeseburger deluxe. Thanks, Chris. Keep going. Thank you. Medium rare. Thank you, Chris. Keep going.

[Yannis Pappas]

You see, he wants the Greeks back in the diner.

[Chris Distefano]

He was like, we're back in the diner.

[Yannis Pappas]

We were saying before, we want the world back in the diner.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

We want the world the way it was with all the Greeks back in the diners. The Koreans back in the fruit markets.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Yannis Pappas]

The Irish back in uniform.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

You know.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I think every. I think the Irish need to go back to running New York City. Respect to Mamdani. Respect. Call to prayer. But the Irish with their stubby little penises and their violent tendencies need to go back to running New York City.

[Chris Distefano]

They do have stubby penises.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

No, we're just talking about, you know, the flotilla of influencers going to help Cuba. And we're just trying to break it down.

[Yannis Pappas]

We were just breaking it down and we were. Our conclusion is communism has never been shown a fair shake. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I don't, you know, I'm against going physically to any place to help anyone.

[Chris Distefano]

Right, I agree with that. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I don't believe in it. I believe in doing it on the Internet.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right. That's how you can get things done.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. I don't believe in physically going and being confronted with my ideas. I would just rather.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

I don't want to see it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Tim Dillon]

Hassan piker and kneecap.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, we were just talking. Yeah. We're talking about kneecap. Yeah. And they dressed like Hamas.

[Tim Dillon]

I do like that. You know, they are from Ireland. So I do have to say respect to kneecap. And. And if my agent hears this, I'll delete it. I hope we don't go into Cuba. I know Cuba's weak, but everybody's. You know, we don't need this. How about I. I want to go back to old criminal Trump.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right.

[Tim Dillon]

Like, let's just go back to con artist Trump.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. That was fun.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. You're. Aren't we tired of us punching down? I mean, Iran and Cuba were punching down. Now if we. Not if we didn't learn anything from the culture of sensitivity, we have to stop punching down.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess Iran, we're punching down. It feels like they're punching back pretty good.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Like Iran's. You pretty well.

[Yannis Pappas]

No.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

I mean, I hope this ends. I think gas is $6 or something on average.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, thank God. Well, that. Thank God you got your car stolen.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's right. Thank God.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Thank God. Best thing that ever happened to you.

[Yannis Pappas]

Ye. Now, you see I don't look so pedestrian for getting a Tesla, now, do I?

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

I Look like a smart Jew.

[Chris Distefano]

That's true. Yeah, it's true. Now, I'll call you later. Let's hang out. Let's all. Let's all get a lunch this week.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, I mean, I mean, I'm back. I had to come back to LA for some stuff, but when I'm back.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, because you have to just get a little way. Once you, you know, once we saw the prayer rugs at Washington Square park, there was a lot of flights leaving New York.

[Tim Dillon]

Just, you know, the thing about L. A is it's just white Mexican, and it's fine. Either you're either just doing white stuff like saying eggs Benedict, no bread, and then you eat the hash brown, which is worse than the bread. And then if you're Mexican, you go see Joe Coy Fluffy at the arena. Yeah, everyone's happy.

[Chris Distefano]

That's. It.

[Tim Dillon]

Was happy. Nobody's doing anything.

[Chris Distefano]

Love you both. Love you. Thank you, Brian.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, you're right. That's what they're not telling the people is that there's such weights at the airport because when they saw those videos from Washington Square park, people just booked flights.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. It's just what it is. They said, see you later, alligator. We'll see you later, buddy.

[Yannis Pappas]

So, yeah, I mean, it's just Cuba right now is getting choked. It's getting squeezed by United States. I personally don't think that's a good move. I. I think soft power works better.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

We've never gone anywhere. Usually when we try to intervene with something or we. We can't change it from the outside, we got to change it the old school way. Propaganda. Yes. A little Hollywood sex.

[Tim Dillon]

Yes.

[Yannis Pappas]

A little. A little, you know, a little Coca Cola.

[Chris Distefano]

Switch it up.

[Yannis Pappas]

A little music.

[Chris Distefano]

A little music. This is not the way. I think, like what we were saying earlier in the show, maybe we said on the Patreon is we wanted. Everybody just wants to go back to the way it was.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Everybody. We want.

[Yannis Pappas]

I want the USSR to get back.

[Chris Distefano]

I want the USSR I want Yangi from Street Fighter. I want him back. I want. I want the deep state to come back. I don't want to know what's going on. I like with Obama, the curtain was maybe was deporting more people and killing more people probably. Who? I don't know the numbers. It doesn't matter. I didn't know anything about it, Okay. I want Punked with Ashton Kutcher to come back. I just want. I don't want to. I want the gatekeepers of Hollywood to come back. I want Movies and TV shows and people molesting everyone. As I said, you know, if you want movies to get good again, you bring. Get Weinstein out of the jail cell. Let's go back to the way it was. Yes, there were problems. Okay. I want to get skull fucked by a priest. Just go back. Was running just fine when we didn't know anything about it. Yes, bring it. Tell Epstein can come out of hiding.

[Yannis Pappas]

We don't want to know about any more scandals. We don't want to know about any of that. Just, just. We want to go back into the confession booth and I want to be able to tell a priest that I swore that week.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Yannis Pappas]

Do 13 Hail Marys. And that's what the concern of my week is. Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

That's all I want.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's all that I want as well. We need to go back.

[Chris Distefano]

I just want to go back.

[Yannis Pappas]

I want to go back into Vietnam. Yeah. No. So, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I want to move back to Bay Ridge.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you want to go back to Bay Ridge?

[Yannis Pappas]

Does go back to being.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you want to raise your family to be in Bay Ridge?

[Yannis Pappas]

I want to go back to Greece.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you really want to go all the way back to Greece? Would you go back?

[Yannis Pappas]

No.

[Chris Distefano]

Are you going to take your family to Greece this summer?

[Yannis Pappas]

Maybe.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. You keep saying you're going to take them.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a little expensive right now. I think it's a good time to book a nice little tourist trip to Cuba.

[Chris Distefano]

You want to go to Cuba?

[Yannis Pappas]

I want to be a Cuba. If you're okay with getting Internet access only at the park and, you know. Yeah, it being dark.

[Chris Distefano]

And if Sergio, if Sergio was saying it's not that nice, then, you know, it's not that nice because I've, you know, I mean, he thought it, you know, the first time I took on the road and he thought of Ramada was a five star hotel.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

It was like that they got that one was shower and shit. Because you know about Shopify.

[Yannis Pappas]

Of course, we have a small business because we're a podcast. If you got a small business and

[Chris Distefano]

you don't have Shopify, I don't know what you're doing. It's like, do you want to accelerate your efficiency on your business? Then get Shopify. You upload new products, try to. Or try to improve existing ones. Whatever you need. Shopify helps you out. It's like you got your own, like personal assistant. With you doing all this stuff for me, it's like you got a whole marketing team behind you.

[Yannis Pappas]

I bet you you didn't even know that. Shopify is the commercial commerce platform behind millions of business around the world and 10% of all E commerce in the United States from a lot of people.

[Chris Distefano]

Cuz I actually did know that.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. So that's, that's information that you now have and that our fans have.

[Chris Distefano]

And now I say to myself, well what if I get stuck? Well then Shopify says, well, someone's always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer supports. Do you know what that means? You can talk to a dude in India,

[Yannis Pappas]

tackle all important tasks in one place from inventory to payments to analytics and more. No need to save multiple websites or try to figure out what platform is hosting the tool that you need. That's what's great about Shopify. It's all in one. Everything is all in one place. It makes your life easier and your business operations much smoother.

[Chris Distefano]

Cuz. And they got that iconic purple shop pay button that's used by millions of businesses around the world. It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. It also helps boost conversions, meaning less carts going abandoned and more sales for you.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, I check out with Shopify all the time guys.

[Chris Distefano]

We'll tell them how a fancy get a little dish.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's time to turn those what ifs into sf.

[Chris Distefano]

Well no, it's. Sorry, it's. It's time to turn those what ifs into Cha Ching.

[Yannis Pappas]

Cha Ching.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. The accountant. Yeah. With Shopify today.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Shopify new sales sound. Oh yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Cuz you've had two hours of sleep. Let me just take over. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com hyenas it's $1 per month. Even Nick said he can afford it and he's on SNAP. Go to shopify.com hyenas that's shopify.com hyenas Cha Ching. Shopify.

[Yannis Pappas]

Shopify New sale sound Cuz, look at this right here. Our rag and Boone. I guess these are like comfortable jeans.

[Chris Distefano]

Cause they're jeans but they're like sweatpants.

[Yannis Pappas]

And they smell good.

[Chris Distefano]

They smell good. What size did you get?

[Yannis Pappas]

I got a 34 waist.

[Chris Distefano]

You're gonna have to fucking lube yourself to get to those cause you got fat.

[Yannis Pappas]

But look how cool these are man.

[Chris Distefano]

They do look great.

[Yannis Pappas]

And they're comfy wumpy.

[Chris Distefano]

And they're called the Miramar product. It's the product that we want you guys to go get. As you know we love rag and bone. We really, we shop there. They've sent us some stuff and now we're customers ourselves. Jesse knows where they live, so we like it. And they sent us these Miramar, the Rag and Bone Miramar, where you don't have to choose between comfort and looking put together, you get both. Because they're jeans, but they're sweats.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And they are comfy.

[Yannis Pappas]

They're very comfy. And they look exactly like real denim. They have athletic fits to straight leg styles, even overshirts. Rag and Bone Miramar delivers the look of jeans with the comfort of sweatshight quality. Guys, you gotta go to Rag and Bone Miramar and pick up this Miramar. It's a revolutionary printing technique with with that makes ultra soft fabrics like terry cloth and stretch. And this is super nice.

[Chris Distefano]

It's super nice. Super cute. And it's time to upgrade your denim with rag and Bone. For a limited time, our listeners get 20 off their entire order with code [e-mail]. that's 20% off at rag-bone with promo code Hyenas. When they ask where you heard about them, please support our show and let them know we sent you one more time hyenasrag-bone.com.

[Yannis Pappas]

yeah, so it is interesting that, you know, communism fell and stuff like that. And so I thought we were at that point. I thought we were at the point going, oh, that didn't work. Oh, unfettered capitalism worked. The only thing that seems to work is a mixed economy. A little bit of both. You put them both in stew. It was like Cuban, Chinese fusion food.

[Chris Distefano]

Food. Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

You just got to put them together,

[Chris Distefano]

put them together, and then they work.

[Yannis Pappas]

Hybrid.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I like Cuban, Chinese fuse.

[Yannis Pappas]

I love fusion food.

[Chris Distefano]

You like fusion. You were on the network called Fusion, and it didn't work. Like, communism didn't work.

[Yannis Pappas]

It didn't work that way.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. That's the only time fusion doesn't work. Didn't work is when you're on the network.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. So technically, there's five communist countries left. Only one of the five, Laos, Vietnam, China, Cuba, and the big one, North Korea.

[Chris Distefano]

Now, North Korea is the big, big one.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right. And there's only two that are still ideologically and economically purely communist. So the only reason why I said there's two left is because China still calls itself communist for ideological reasons, but it's opened up its markets. Laos has opened up its markets, Vietnam has opened up its market. Right. Poland, of course, went in one generation from, like, abject poverty to now it's the 20th biggest economy in the world. And they have A better gdp. They have a better economy than Switzerland. Poland can't make the dump. Polish jokes do it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Poland has. They. What has. What they've done is, is it's. And it's connected, I think. I don't know. But their GDP has went way, way up and their Muslim and Jewish population has went way, way down.

[Yannis Pappas]

Out loud 14. Sometimes diversity is not a strength. That's just what they.

[Chris Distefano]

It's the most Catholic country in Europe. Poland has Kick. They've just said, basically started saying openly, if you're not Catholic, get out. I mean, Poland has. They are a very, very, very, very Christian Catholic country.

[Yannis Pappas]

They have closed the border. They have.

[Chris Distefano]

They have. That is a fact.

[Yannis Pappas]

That is what they've done. They have closed the border. That I think maybe. I don't know if the two are related. I don't know. But they did become capitalists and they took off.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Yannis Pappas]

Took off. In one generation. In one generation. So it's like, I don't know what we're doing. Right. And then it's like

[Chris Distefano]

you look at

[Yannis Pappas]

the countries that were communists that are doing well now. Vietnam's doing well.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Laos is starting to do well. They're 6% growth. Both China, we know what happened in China. They became a powerhouse. Yeah, right. Because they adopted capitalism. So there's only two holdouts left. So I think part of what Trump is doing and Marcos were doing, it is going like, we want to stop this. Last. These last ones out. North Korea, they can't stomp out.

[Chris Distefano]

You'll never get. North Korea will be communist forever.

[Yannis Pappas]

It'll just be what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

They got a nuke.

[Chris Distefano]

They got a nuke.

[Yannis Pappas]

They got a nuke.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

If you got a nuke, you're going to be left alone. Yeah. You need a nuke.

[Chris Distefano]

Because North Korea would throw a nuke at the United States, no problem.

[Yannis Pappas]

Problem, yeah. They have a nuke. So there's nothing you could do. King John, who's just.

[Sergio Chicon]

He's.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just. If somebody decided to truly throw a nuke at us, do we really have defense capabilities to stop it, or it was just a test.

[Yannis Pappas]

I don't know, but I think we talked about it. I think we would be alive a little longer because they'd hit our nuke. Our arsenals, which are in like, Wyoming and Montana, they're not going to hit.

[Chris Distefano]

They're not going to hit New York.

[Yannis Pappas]

I think they'll go for that first. Defensively, they'll try to take those out first. They probably will hit New York, unfortunately.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

When you're the cool kid that's, you know, they're not gonna, they're not trying to hit Pottstown, Pennsylvania.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm ready because as I've told you, I've got a 30 day supply of powdered fettuccine Alfredo and I have iodine tablets and I have masks and that's a truthy wuthie.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Cause I gotta pee big. Should I hold it in and do the Patreon names? Should I go into the Patreon names with just a fucking bladder full of piss or should I piss?

[Yannis Pappas]

What do you pause it and go pee?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. You think so? Yeah. You don't think I should just let it rip and just start pissing down my pants? No, I just took a nice pee pee.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Took a nice flow.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Nice flow. We're ready to give you some of the Patreon names. Patreon.com history hyenas patreon patreon.com history hyenas.

[Chris Distefano]

We all the newest members get their names right out. It's a fun reason to be a part of it. And I just want to commend you, Yanni. We got through this. You've only on an hour and a half of sleep. And we got through the episodes. We did it because you were a tired monkey before.

[Yannis Pappas]

But I feel good.

[Chris Distefano]

You do? You feel good?

[Yannis Pappas]

I feel good.

[Chris Distefano]

And it's nice to have the Tesla because you can just let that puppy drive and if you fall asleep with the wheel, no problem.

[Tim Dillon]

Problem.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, big problem. But yeah, not as big a problem if it was not driving itself. But it's still a big problem. I wouldn't recommend it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, don't recommend.

[Yannis Pappas]

I wouldn't recommend it.

[Chris Distefano]

All right. Welcome to the Patreon. Don't need steel toe boots because my socks are filled with glue. Okay, then we got Father Bill's prostate milker, old school Father Bill from back in the day, Mike Clark, Chrissy Cliff Note, Michael Sorenson, Candido sniffing goose ski lift Sea like Eileen Goo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Way Song Chi. Yeah, that's. That's a good one.

[Chris Distefano]

We're going to Drexler it Dakota fanning the fumes. And by the way, can I just say real quick, look at the propaganda our media does, I think we might have spoken about this where Goo. Eileen Goo who you know is an American but competed for team China, was on the COVID of Time magazine as athlete of the whatever. And then Hughes who scored the game winning goal for the. Is vilified for the US it's just a propaganda Chinese media. Dakota Humes.

[Yannis Pappas]

Doesn't the Olympics feel like 15 years ago?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it moves like two weeks ago.

[Yannis Pappas]

It moves so fast.

[Chris Distefano]

Vincenzo Fats Frisbee on low dose with high pressure. AKA Chrissy. Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okie doke. Christian Clark walked into one.

[Chris Distefano]

What it is?

[Yannis Pappas]

He did a he. He. He misdirect on you.

[Chris Distefano]

He did.

[Yannis Pappas]

Called himself Frisbee.

[Chris Distefano]

You can the way RFK gets honey potted. I get walked into one.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, yes. It's what happens. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

This is a version of a honey pot.

[Yannis Pappas]

It is.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Honey pot.

[Chris Distefano]

You Glue Man. AKA Skeeter Parker, Jack Evan Roche, Steve Swayze. Just microwave the FFs in Iran and call it queer Oshima. We had that. Okay? We talked about that. Bill George Sporis, Queens. A borough so nice I moved there twice. My ex used to triangle choke my piece with her throat. Hunter Crook Jackie not prepubescent but got dick and balls for the table Streaker make no mistake Johnny makes his wife watch him bang out Grok Dingbat Kyle Mandrell, Brian Myers My girl's trans easy like a fumes gay morning Chase Fury Lena Dunham is a fact way song

[Yannis Pappas]

she ain't so yeah, Maybe she cut him off in traffic.

[Chris Distefano]

That I don't know.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Jimmy Jeter. It's over, Johnny. That's not p that squirt Ding Crosby really dreaming about White Christmas.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's really good. It's good. What do we do? 14 walked in one.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I mean, whatever you want.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, that's the best one so far.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, we don't even have anything that's made the list yet.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's interesting. That can't go up in lights.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay, so. So. April AK King J. Bead. Bad sex. Fahani. Wiped only three times because I like the itch.

[Yannis Pappas]

Put him on the list. Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

There we go. Interesting.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yep. He enjoys it.

[Chris Distefano]

He enjoys it. Ayatollah. Come in, me junior because my dad got cracked. Big Eileen Glue gun. I want to smell Nick's belly button.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a sick kid.

[Chris Distefano]

Interesting. It's probably going to smell like action figure. Yeah. Toaster Bath Bomb. Leaky roof helmet company non toot on the $3 bubble tulsi. My salad. Michael Hague. Big trans niece with a decease. Sorry. Bae. Meta girl in Thailand. He's my Kumar

[Yannis Pappas]

Drexler. Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

Close.

[Yannis Pappas]

Close. Almost. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So far, one of the weakest lists we've had in a while.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, just.

[Chris Distefano]

It happens sometimes.

[Yannis Pappas]

Listen, sometimes, you know, the Dodgers are hot and sometimes they strike out.

[Chris Distefano]

Does the White Smoke over Tel Aviv mean. They have appointed a new Epstein. David Arno. Your mom, Nick Hurting for squirting.

[Yannis Pappas]

Wait, that's pretty good. Because it's a Pope joke.

[Chris Distefano]

It's Pope Drexler.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay, I just caught it.

[Chris Distefano]

Tim Dillon's butt plug smells like Akash's grandmother's cooking. It's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

Funny, though.

[Chris Distefano]

She has athlete's foot, and the fumes make me go peeling.

[Yannis Pappas]

Kid likes a sticky foot.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. My cat chased a laser beam. Now they smell like curry. The goodest God, the goodest goy boy. Joe DeCarlo got a rebate from my Chinese accountant, cha ching.

[Yannis Pappas]

Ladder 14. What do we do with that?

[Chris Distefano]

He's saying his accountant's name is Cha Ching.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. And also, it's a pun on chiching.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, what do you think?

[Yannis Pappas]

What do you do?

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, what do you do? Put it on the list.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Weak list.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's. You can list it.

[Chris Distefano]

Sometimes you get on the list because the list is weak.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, sometimes. No, but that would be a good one in any era.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Kevin Goodwin. Diddy's Free Colonoscopy. Devron Gordon. Hope is my hedge. My piece is small. I'm. Dad's calling me slappy mutts. Slappy McNutsack. Ernest Hemingway's flying Ernest Hemi Monkeys. Ooh.

[Yannis Pappas]

Ooh.

[Chris Distefano]

The Tuck back of Notre Dame. Travis Morgan.

[Yannis Pappas]

Tuck back in Notre Dame. It's a chicken figure and it's on the list.

[Chris Distefano]

It's on the list. Back in Notre Dame. Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

Tuck back in Notre Dame.

[Chris Distefano]

Asleep in the hood Call me Martin Luther Ding. Okay. Piers Morgan's pool boy.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh. Because his wife they say, yeah, it's bad.

[Chris Distefano]

I only watch Tarantino films for the feet. Assad, Gil Oliver, Olivier, Fortier Continental Breakfast Reservations. Step on them. Step on them. I won't get hard unless you step on my balls, babe.

[Yannis Pappas]

Sometimes everyone's got a different tingle.

[Chris Distefano]

JFK Junior's female pilot. Was she the pilot that crashed the plane?

[Yannis Pappas]

Now he's saying because the plane crashed. It was a female pilot.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yes.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a good one.

[Chris Distefano]

Giannis. This is Lenscraft. Your monocle is ready, Drexler. Yes. Jake Hopkinson, AKA Far Away in the back, playing on Father Bill's. Bill's Goo Kazoo. Oh, sorry. Victim of bad. Read this. Vitamin water tastes like shit. We've had that. Jake and Baker, Gay firefighter. Call me Ladder for Queen.

[Yannis Pappas]

Ladder for Queen. Pretty good.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Drexler ran out of gel, so I had to use my own glue. Playing truth or dare with My homosexuality. Peter Piper and pepper pickers aka ice 2. Shoots for room asking sobbing woman if There is a Mr. Carriage. Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

Huh?

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. Interesting. Did it. Ayatollah of the Iranian Frisbee Golf League. I still get scared when I see muzzies at the airport. Hashtag never forget. Ben Richards, Logan Hall, Trucker D82, Christopher Reed, reincarnate Bernays to build praise for gays so I can go both ways without Dad's angry gays.

[Yannis Pappas]

Really long. I'm going to Drexler it, but it was long.

[Chris Distefano]

Early life check. Got a shotgun to protect my property. Call it a ding doorbell. Okay. BB's Goitoy, Luke Barber, Tanka Jahadi, Liam O'. Connor. Indian video game. Press X to grape. Tim Dillon's twink bagel. Bussy. Straight, manly, but can stop moving to trannies. Okay. Jennifer Nyman. Jacob, my purebred German shepherd. Loves to catch and collect Frisbees. Must be in his genes. Okay, we've spoken about that. Why? James A. Zachary Solomon. Christopher Donaldson. Two hot dogs, one bun. Raw, no, condimental.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay, went for it.

[Chris Distefano]

Woke up in a sticky puddle. Call that Glues Clues?

[Yannis Pappas]

Good one.

[Chris Distefano]

Yep.

[Yannis Pappas]

Good one.

[Chris Distefano]

Chrissy D's realtor Bean with the small peen, AKA human sewing machine. I have cash app and I'm not black. Iran's nuclear weapons program. Nyc. Holly. Hank R. My wife divorced me and drained my 401k after she found out I used the bathroom sink as a urinal. Capital. Okay, let's just do a few more names, because this is. I mean. Yeah, we've never actually been in this situation.

[Yannis Pappas]

Jumped out at you. Right? Nothing.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, even the ones that are on the list, so they're good, but there's nothing that's like. This is, you know, everyone.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's good at bats. Guys are having good at bats.

[Tim Dillon]

Just.

[Yannis Pappas]

They're not making contact.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I don't know what's going on. Sometimes it happens, though. Just, you know, let's see if. Let's see if we get some life. Let's see if we get some life here. Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Beam Program survivor. Long island guy, aka D.B. sweeney's coke dealer. Lime Limerick. Lopsided my limbs. Got the Pottstown Strut. I took a 5 milligram Eddie, and it made me question my sexuality. Okay. How did Captain Leroy salute his first mate? With a hard R. Gotcha. Queef Latifah Micropene. Can't get past the lake lip.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a good one.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Drexler, though. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Kyle Borgi. Augie, Uncle Swerve, Hector Ramos, Dylan La Duff, David Dykstra, Gavin Gluesome Bellomel, Allah eating Shala with his fist. And Kamala, thanks to Blue Chew, me and Father Bill's relationship has never been stronger. I want on Peter Ruggers in Bellinghurst is what I is. Half bitten. Half bitten. Radish in a black man's butt turning the white levels up. Amir the Boozy Crusco, Justin Coleco, Eve Sokolsky, Leroy's sister getting smashed by a muzzy, AKA the black sheep of the family.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Martin Luther Kremer, Eric Thornton, MLK didn't die so you can FaceTime in the elevator.

[Yannis Pappas]

Put it on the list. So put it on the list.

[Chris Distefano]

Good one.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's a real good one. Yeah, that's finally.

[Chris Distefano]

Now we're heating up.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. That's what you call this list. You know what? That. You know, with that one. Now we have a new one. Yeah, that one's called the Messiah.

[Chris Distefano]

The Messiah.

[Yannis Pappas]

We needed someone to come in and save this list. Yeah. And he did.

[Chris Distefano]

This is. We've actually never been in this position in any of the years I never remembered.

[Yannis Pappas]

So. Something this light.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Kaya, it's not gay if both peens are in a vagine. Max Crosby wants to Terrell Suggs King Henry's D. Okay. Chrissy's leaky roof is from the Edibles. Tayron Toots, Shiite shoots, Sir Isaac Tutin.

[Yannis Pappas]

Sir Isaac Tutin's a nice chicken finger.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Hijab around my Tinas looks like Yousef. Cat Stevens, Yodeling Buttholes. Amir the Bosie Crusco we got. And. I don't know, should we try one more page, or you think, like, it just. It's. Sometimes it is what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

It is what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

It is. Right?

[Yannis Pappas]

We have a few to choose from.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just. Guys, I'm sorry if this was the first time. You ever listen to the episode. That was historically the worst list we've ever had. Besides one clear probable winner. Just to do the due diligence. We will read out the names. But I'm. I'm shocked.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, it. You know, but it happens. We've been waiting for this day. We knew it would come, right? And it came.

[Chris Distefano]

And again, I'm sorry if it's the first time. I'm sorry, but this. This never happened before. So here is the list. Granted, it's light, but if you made it, I mean, you know, here's the thing, too. I mean, sometimes, you know, it's like. It's like the. Whoever won the NBA championship in the bubble that year, it's the Lakers. Like, it doesn't really count.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

You know, it's just. This is one of these lists. Like, you'll.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a bubble list.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a bubble list.

[Yannis Pappas]

This is a Covid list.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. Got a rebate from my Chinese accountant, Cha Ching.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, that's a good one.

[Chris Distefano]

It's not bad. All right, so that'll keep that around.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[Chris Distefano]

The tuck back of Notre Dame.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's. We're gonna chicken finger that.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. Wiped only three times because I like the itch.

[Yannis Pappas]

We're gonna keep that.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Tim Dillon]

See, look.

[Yannis Pappas]

These are decent.

[Chris Distefano]

And then MLK didn't die, so you MLK didn't die, so YOU can FaceTime in the elevator.

[Yannis Pappas]

We're keeping that. So we got three.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. So we got contenders.

[Yannis Pappas]

We gotta get rid of one.

[Chris Distefano]

So I mean, wiped only three times because I like the itch. Got a rebate from my Chinese accountant, cha ching. Or MLK didn't die, so you can FaceTime in the elevator.

[Yannis Pappas]

We're definitely the wipe.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Yannis Pappas]

Thank you. You're getting drexlered. Very funny. This is. This is.

[Chris Distefano]

We're often in this situation, Cha Ching versus MLK.

[Yannis Pappas]

We're often in a Coke or Pepsi, McDonald's or Burger King situation.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Yannis Pappas]

And here we are again, right? I'm going with Cha Ching.

[Chris Distefano]

Interesting.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'm going with Cha Ching. I have a Chinese accountant and I got a Ching. I got a rebank. Cha Ching.

[Chris Distefano]

See, I think MLK didn't die so you could FaceTime. The elevator is funnier. Jesse. Nick.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

MLK all the way.

[Yannis Pappas]

MLK. Nick, where are you going?

[Chris Distefano]

Nick, what do you say? I like Cha Ching.

[Yannis Pappas]

Whoa.

[Chris Distefano]

See? So now what do we do?

[Tim Dillon]

Whoa.

[Chris Distefano]

We got two, baby.

[Yannis Pappas]

I knew something interesting was going to happen.

[Chris Distefano]

Do we have to call in the wives again?

[Yannis Pappas]

I think what we do before we release it, we let the fans decide this one. Whenever we go to a tie, we got to let the fans decide. So what do you mean on Patreon, when we post it, Put in the comments and I will add up the comments. We will add up the comments and announce the winner on the next.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's what we'll do.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. That's the first time in history we've ever done that.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. We're going. We're going. We're going to go. We're going. All America's Got Talent talent on this one.

[Chris Distefano]

So go to patreon.com history hyenas if you want to get involved, you have a chance to pick between the two names of MLK didn't die so you can facetime in the elevator or got a rebate from my Chinese accountant Cha Ching. Tell us in the comments who's the winner. We'll put up a poll and then next week we'll announce it. That's what it's got to be cuz

[Yannis Pappas]

that's what has to happen sometimes. Sometimes you have to go to a direct vote from the people. It's what it is.