Don’t F with Montenegro: The Slavic Giants of the Black Mountain | History Hyenas

Summary

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History Hyenas: Don’t F with Montenegro – The Slavic Giants of the Black Mountain

Hosts: Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas
Release Date: January 29, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode is a rollicking look at Montenegro, “the unconquerable Slavic giants of the Black Mountain,” combining real historical insights, personal stories, and the usual high-energy, irreverent banter Chris and Yannis are known for. They explore what makes Montenegrins unique in the Balkans—focusing on their mountainous homeland, their resistance to conquering forces like the Ottomans, and their clan-based culture. There’s a lot of admiration here for Montenegro’s tough reputation, plus a blend of personal anecdotes, genetic digressions, and the guys’ trademark cultural riffs.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Identity and Anatomy of the Show

• The Bay Ridge Boys Vibe: The hosts debate changing the podcast name from "History Hyenas" to "Bay Ridge Boys" but decide you can call them either, embracing their multiple identities and comedic alter egos.
  • “We are the History Hyenas, AKA the Bay Ridge Boys. AKA the Lad Brain Boys.” – Yannis [02:02]
• History isn’t the point—comedy is:
  • “Even if you don’t like history, you can still listen to the show because 95% of the time we’re not even talking about history.” – Chris [02:12]
  • They joke about doing “herstory” and “accurate” history’s irrelevance to their show.

Hysterical Is Historical

• Therapy Wisdom: Chris shares therapist advice:
  • “If it’s hysterical, it’s historical.” [03:27]
  • They unpack this as a reminder that blowups often trace to deep-seated, historical issues—not just the surface conflict.

Unconquerable Cultures

• Yannis lays out cultures he considers “unconquerable”: Jews, Persians, Greeks, and—most relevant—the Montenegrins.
  • “Empires have risen and fallen and the Jews—Jewish culture—still around, same as it’s always been.” – Yannis [08:05]
  • “Islam conquered Persia, but Persia culturally conquered Islam.” – Yannis [08:45]
• The Montenegrins are positioned alongside these cultures: small, proud, impossible to subjugate, famously clannish, and with a distinctive Slavic identity.

Who Are the Montenegrins?

• Tallest People and Mountain Warriors:
  • Montenegrins are described as a people “nobody’s been able to throw the yoke on,” “the second or third tallest people in the world,” and physically imposing (“big pieces” jokes abound). [10:10–11:31]
  • “The Ottomans actually called them the mountain giants.” – Yannis [19:08]
• Yannis’s College Experience:
  • Yannis tells stories of playing college basketball with Marco, a gigantic Montenegrin, whose toughness and quirks epitomize the stereotype:
    • “He broke my nose, just one head butted me in the face.” [10:36]
    • “Montenegrins are just tough people. During practice, he would just start throwing blows at somebody.” [16:59]
• Anecdote: Surviving Times Square:
  • Marco narrowly escapes a Times Square attack due to his fast reflexes—attributed to his basketball background and Montenegrin genes. [16:36]

The Balkans: Geography, Religion, and Ethnicity

• Why They’re Hard to Conquer:
  • Montenegro’s mountainous geography makes it extremely difficult to invade.
    • “Geography is destiny. Look at Afghanistan—can’t be conquered because it’s the mountains.” – Yannis [20:53]
• Religious Makeup:
  • The region is a mix: Montenegro and Serbia are Orthodox Christian; Albania and Kosovo are majority Muslim; Bosnia and others have complex religious histories.
    • “Most of those countries are Christian. Albania’s like 50/50, maybe 60/40.” – Yannis [14:09]

Montenegro’s Place in History

• Ottoman Struggles:
  • For centuries (15th–19th), the Ottomans couldn’t subdue Montenegro:
    • “They were described as fanatically Christian, deeply loyal to their Orthodox clergy, and just resistant to this... They had an immunity to the virus.” – Yannis [31:07]
    • “There’s no victory here, only survival. Priests command warriors. Priests carried weapons. Bishops ordered killings.” – Yannis quoting Ottoman reports [33:22]
  • Repeated attempts were met with guerrilla tactics and fierce tribal defense.
  • “These people are impossible. This land is not worth the cost.” – Quoting Ottoman officials [31:41]
  • “They refused to pay taxes and just plucked these Ottomans off at night.” – Yannis [28:02]

Physical and Cultural Stereotypes

• Montenegrins as Exceptionally Large:
  • “They're just big. There’s been a few dudes in the NBA from Montenegro.” – Chris [32:16]
  • Montenegrin men are also described as “uncut” and the women “absolutely gorgeous” and “tall with long legs.” [11:10, 15:25]
• Contrast with Other Balkan Groups:
  • The hosts riff on local stereotypes—who’s best at fences, kitchens, brickwork—with tongue-in-cheek racial humor typical of their personas. [06:14–07:18]

Cultural Comparison: Vikings and Montenegrins

• Comparison with Vikings as iconic unconquerable mountain people.
  • “Who do you think would win in a fight, Montenegrins versus Vikings?” – Chris [19:01]

Modern Montenegro

• Officially independent since 2006 with a tense but existent diplomatic relationship with Serbia. [42:09]
• “Montenegro is actually an independent country since 2006.” – Yannis [42:09]
• Known for beautiful coastal towns like Budva—a topic of travel anecdotes. [15:05]

Memorable Stories

• Yannis describes a wild Montenegrin village drunk who stabbed another man with darts, ‘defending the dartboard’s feelings’:
  • “How would you feel if I threw that at you? How do you think the dartboard feels? …And then he took the darts and started stabbing the guy with the darts.” [36:54]
• Account of being in Montenegro with a black friend, never before seen by villagers—crowds calling out ‘Michael Jordan!’ and taking photos. [34:36]
• Family chaos: Chris’s daughters off-camera, pizza ordering drama, and their Brooklyn dad struggles interspersed throughout.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “If it’s hysterical, it’s historical.” – Chris quoting his therapist [03:27]
• “Even if you don’t like history, you can still listen to the show because 95% of the time we’re not even talking about history.” – Chris [02:12]
• “Islam conquered Persia, but Persia culturally conquered Islam.” – Yannis [08:45]
• “These people are impossible. This land is not worth the cost.” – Quoting the Ottomans [31:41]
• “We will starve, but we will not kneel.” – Montenegrin proverb, shared by Yannis [43:56]

Humorous Tangents

• Comedic dissection of current events: U.S. and Greenland, Trump at Davos, and global politics—mixed in with dismissively fact-free analysis (in their comedic, purposely ignorant style). [21:03–24:12]
• Reflections on sweet addiction, diets, and being “just a kid from Queens.”
• Recurring sidebar about parenting young daughters—iPads, Young Sheldon reruns, and how “mothers do all the rearing,” while dads aim only “for the kids to have fun.” [49:04–50:13]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Show intro & discussion about podcast identity: [01:41–03:00]
• Therapist wisdom “If it’s hysterical, it’s historical”: [03:18–03:43]
• Unconquerable peoples: [08:02–09:14]
• Montenegrin anatomy & Yannis’s Marco stories: [10:10–16:59]
• Ottomans vs. Montenegrins—History lesson: [19:08–21:03], [27:23–33:22]
• NBA, Jokic, and sports ties: [32:27–33:06]
• Budva, travel in Montenegro: [15:05–16:17]
• Vivid Montenegrin village story: [36:06–37:24]
• Montenegrin resistance, culture, and proverbs: [42:07–44:06]
• Modern Balkan politics: [42:09–43:09]
• Parenting sidebars and sweets addiction: [49:04–51:32]

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Tone, Energy, and Language

The episode blends genuine historical intrigue (with some factual accuracy) and relentless banter—marked by classic Brooklyn/South Greek/Italian-American delivery, playful chauvinism, and intentionally over-the-top stereotypes. Both hosts riff seamlessly between punchlines and unscripted, sometimes poignant, observations on family, masculinity, and identity.

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For New Listeners

Don’t expect an academic lecture or even a neat narrative arc—what you get from History Hyenas is a lively, irreverent appreciation of history’s oddities, powered by the hosts’ chemistry. If you want to learn why Montenegro has never been conquered, meet some wild Balkan characters, or just laugh about “big pieces” and mountain culture, this episode is a perfect starting point.

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Memorable Closing Quote

“We will starve, but we will not kneel.” (Montenegrin proverb) [43:56]

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For exclusive bonus content and the full “PPW” Patreon name tournament, go to patreon.com/historyhyenas.

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Transcript

[Chris Distefano]

Hello. Welcome to another episode. We're going to be talking about Montenegrins today. And we got my family, my daughters are here and they're off camera. And we're going to try to see if they stay quiet throughout the episode.

[Yannis Pappas]

They may do a good job, they may not, but I think they're good because they're cute, good kids.

[Chris Distefano]

And Jesse's dog just bit my daughter. Yeah. Okay, I gotta go. I gotta.

[Yannis Pappas]

The dog is just eating a full slice.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is. The dog's eating the full pizza. So just watch the episode. I gotta go.

[Yannis Pappas]

See me in Bakersfield, California in February sometime. Time. I could never remember the dates.

[Chris Distefano]

And I'll just be February 6th. I will be at the MGM at the David Copperfield theater doing stand up. And David Copperfield has been not making my tickets disappear.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, see me at soldiers February 6th or 7th. See me in New Jersey. 6767 New Jersey soldiers, Potts Down, Pa. And Bakersfield, California in February.

[Chris Distefano]

And we're coming to gonna be doing a live show at the Village Underground at the Comedy Cellar in New York City. We're getting a February. Just look out. It's probably going to be a Monday at 6pm so get the day off from work.

[Yannis Pappas]

Patreon.com history Hyenas.

[Chris Distefano]

Guys, welcome to another episode of the History. We're coming to you from the Bay Ridge layer. We're coming to you from the old studio. We are contemplating changing the name of this podcast from History Hyenas to the Bay Ridge Boys. What do you guys think?

[Yannis Pappas]

What do you guys think? That would be a bad move.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I. I'm doing it.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. But you know what?

[Chris Distefano]

We're.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's AKA Every good rapper has a few names.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

We are the History Hyenas, AKA the Bay Ridge Boys. AKA the Lad Brain Boys.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. It's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

What it is.

[Chris Distefano]

Because the thing is, is I know.

[Yannis Pappas]

The name Fibble and Fable.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Fibble and Fable. It goes towards history. And I know that history is what we are known for and what we do, but I know history is not for everybody. So even if you don't like history, you can still listen to the show because 95% of the time we're not even talking about history.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's what it is. And this is another thing a lot of people like, they go, oh, you guys don't do accurate history. Well, guess what? We never claim to because we do her story.

[Chris Distefano]

Her story.

[Yannis Pappas]

Which if you've ever talked to a. The facts are always questionable.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And remember this my. Our couples counselor said this to us the other day. Remember that?

[Yannis Pappas]

Give me her number.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you're gonna get her number. She's great. She's an Asian lady and they're just better. And girls, earmuffs. Okay. My daughters. What happened is today is today's. If you listen to the Patreon, you know, we're still in the same day. It's family day here at the studio. I have my kids off camera to the right. Jesse has his dog. So we are doing a little family day here. We got pizzas on the way. But we want to gods an episode because there's a big snowstorm that came in and. And hit the city a couple days ago. So we knew that we were going to get snowed in.

[Yannis Pappas]

And we're not talking about ice coming in New York.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, no, they're coming next. Yeah, but. But my therapist said something that was interesting. They said if it's hysterical, it's historical.

[Yannis Pappas]

What does that mean?

[Chris Distefano]

That means that if you're getting hysterical about something, like with your partner, like you're really getting mad, that that's got some history to it. That there's. That's historical. That's not about what it's about. If it's hysterical, it's historical. Remember that. Make that emerge. I like that because that's. And that's.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's some truth to that.

[Chris Distefano]

Because there's a lot of times, you know, where we get into these problems. Therapy and, you know, you think it's about this, but, you know, it's like wanting to buy and sell all these houses. It's not about the house.

[Yannis Pappas]

I. I find that most things are that way. What do you think Mr. P?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, what is Mr. P?

[Yannis Pappas]

Does how many people have a Mr. P dog?

[Chris Distefano]

Robert Downey Jr. And Tropic Thunder.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because today we're going to talk about something very interesting. From the hyena den to the people when come to the ridge and we do this sometimes the accents gets a little more Brooklyn. What can you do? What did that guy say that I clipped? He goes, you know, it's gonna be a whole thing. They come down here, they come. That thing is. It's what I can't stop watching.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, yeah, yeah. For some reason, I just can't stop watching. I just like, you know, it's like people go, where does that stereotype come from? Where people go, you know, you know, forget about it. Yeah, right. It's like, here's a guy saying it in 1989 in context. Because now if you make a big deal, I just. Things happen, you know, but don't make.

[Chris Distefano]

A big deal out of it, because.

[Yannis Pappas]

Now if you make a big deal.

[Chris Distefano]

On, you know, what's going to happen.

[Yannis Pappas]

They'Re going to come down and we're going to start. They're going to start, and there's going.

[Chris Distefano]

To be a big thing. Right. So if we keep it low and.

[Yannis Pappas]

Forget about it, you know, maybe just die down, please.

[Chris Distefano]

And that guy has no shirt on in a mullet.

[Yannis Pappas]

No shirt, and he's jacked, and he's just a kid. That would hurt you back in the day. And yeah, definitely comfortable with slurs.

[Chris Distefano]

He's comfortable with slurs. And that's why, you know, don't make.

[Yannis Pappas]

A big thing about it, because then they're going to start. We're going to start. It's going to be a whole thing.

[Chris Distefano]

Shout out the Italian guy who. Who said hello to me at the coffee shop in my neighborhood. He goes, yeah. He comes up to me, goes, yeah. He was, you know, he's Italian guy. He was wearing a fence shirt, like he has a fencing company.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And he comes up to me, he goes, yeah. He goes, you know, my wife would never believe that you're in here right now.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And I go, yeah, yeah. And I go. And he goes, we should take a picture. And I was like, yeah. And then. And then I saw him go like this. He goes, I can't do a picture of you right now. My hair don't look good. I swear to God. And I said, no, it's all right. He goes, nah, I'm not gonna do with my hair like this, but I'm sure I'll see you again. He goes, I'm always. He goes, I'm in here every Monday.

[Yannis Pappas]

We used to stay on the first right. It's hilarious. We used to stay in the first right. That a guy's Italian name sounded like it belonged on the side of the van with a phone number.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And that's also a guy wearing a T shirt that says fence. Fence. Yeah. Some Italian guys you just know comes with a shirt that says fence and has a phone number.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, Fence's phone number. And then within. He told me that he didn't want to take the picture. But then, of course, because business always busy, he asked me how big my property was if I needed a fence.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And I said, I already got a fence coming in. He was like, if anything goes wrong, you let me know.

[Yannis Pappas]

And then the way he would describe the fence. He wouldn't call them companies. He wouldn't call them on the company. He'd go, who did your fence? The Albanians?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Did you have the Albanians do it?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Who did it?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Was it Polish or Mexicans did it. He just does it by race. Yeah, by race.

[Chris Distefano]

That's how the guys do it. That's a 10 out of 10. It's very accurate.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's very accurate. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And they're a little judgy on.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. They go, the Albanians, they don't do good fat. You can't do the Albanians.

[Chris Distefano]

You can't do the Albanians fence. I don't know what's about their work. They just don't do it right.

[Yannis Pappas]

They just don't do it right. It is, you know the Ecuadorians? Yeah. I mean, we got Ecuadorian guys that work for us. Those guys worked it ass off. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So. But then they might say Albanians do other things. Like, if you want to do Albanians, that's what you do the kitchens with.

[Yannis Pappas]

The Albanians, you do a kitchen with the Albanian. For sure. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You don't do the fence with them. You do that with details.

[Yannis Pappas]

And if you need yard, if you got to get yard. If you got to get yard work. Yeah. If you gotta get yard work, yard work, you gotta go. You go Mexican for the yard work.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. They're just better.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. You go yard work, you go Mexican. But I'm telling you, if you need brickwork, then you go Polish. Polish, yeah. Those kids, they're just strong, hefty kids. They live stone.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, they live stone.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Good with that. And then everything else. You want to get something real nice, marble, you do the Italian.

[Yannis Pappas]

You go Italian. If you need to do marble, you always go Italian.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's what it is. Today we're going to talk about something. You go, if you don't want to get conquered. Yeah. There's certain people that are unconquerable, and those.

[Chris Distefano]

One of those groups, that's what girls. What did you think of that? Give it a score. One to ten.

[Yannis Pappas]

They're zero. Wow. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

They're pl. Seem. Unfortunately, you gave it a 22.

[Yannis Pappas]

22.

[Chris Distefano]

Sucked into these devices. And it's. And it's sad. It's just sometimes we just have to do it. We got to get through this.

[Yannis Pappas]

We got to do it.

[Chris Distefano]

My kids are here. And it's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

The interesting thing, Chrissy, some. I would say there's a couple of cultures that are unconquerable.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

I would. I Would say the Jews is one of them.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Empires have risen and fall. And the Jews call the Jewish culture still around. They're same as it's always been.

[Chris Distefano]

Yep.

[Yannis Pappas]

The Persians, I think the Persian culture is another one that has been conquered by Islamic expansions.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Yannis Pappas]

But the Persian culture is still strong. And you can see it bubbling again.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Another one is the Greek. Yeah, yeah. You can't stamp it out.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

You just can't. Right. Yeah. So a lot of people don't know actually that the Islamic golden age. Most of the intellectuals from the Islamic golden age were actually Persian.

[Chris Distefano]

Really?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. From. From conquered Persian lands. The great old Persian Empire.

[Chris Distefano]

Modern day Iran.

[Yannis Pappas]

Modern day Iran used to be, you know, Cyrus the Great those days. And as they say, you know, Rome conquered Greece, but Greek conquered Rome culturally. I think the same can be said for Iran. It's that Islam conquered Persia, but Persia culturally conquered Islam. That the brand of Islam there is very Persianized. Got it. So there's certain things and then you got a certain people. A lot of people don't know. Know a lot about that. Have a lot of pride in their clan or whatever.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And they used to be part of the full Yugoslavia.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Which used to be. I don't know, they're all, you know, miscellaneous whites down there.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Yannis Pappas]

But to each other they don't talk. Right, right. Croats and. The Croats, the Serbs and the Montenegrins. Tiny little country. Big, big people with big pieces. I've seen it. Big pieces. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You got a friend who's a big. Yeah, go ahead. And you can put your head down. Put your head down. Here, give Danny his phone. You want to put your head down. Okay. You go a little sleepy, weepy. So Montenegrins, Montenegrins.

[Yannis Pappas]

Montenegrins.

[Chris Distefano]

Montenegro.

[Yannis Pappas]

Negroes. Montenegros.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, Montenegros. Or as the Croatians call them, slave Negroes. I mean, mountain Negroes.

[Yannis Pappas]

Mountain Negrians, Mountaineerings.

[Chris Distefano]

Montenegrins. Yeah. It's just what it is, you understand that people who. That's their enemy is sometimes they. Sometimes they sing the song Montenegrins.

[Yannis Pappas]

In Paris, they go, Montenegro, Montenegro. Yens.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what they're called.

[Yannis Pappas]

They're mountain people.

[Chris Distefano]

They're mountain people.

[Yannis Pappas]

So they live in the mountains. And these are people that just have been unconquerable.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

So nobody's been able to throw the yoke on these people because they can't jump that high.

[Chris Distefano]

They.

[Yannis Pappas]

You need a step stool to throw a yoke on these people because they're, I think, the second or third tallest people.

[Chris Distefano]

Tallest people in the world. Friend Marco is Montenegrin and he tried to throw you out a window?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, he broke my nose. It's just one head butted me in the face. We had a fist fight.

[Chris Distefano]

Fist fight. And he tried to throw somebody out a window.

[Yannis Pappas]

Tried to throw Tim Fudd out of a window.

[Chris Distefano]

It was like six, eight, right? Six, six.

[Yannis Pappas]

Tim Fudd is the father of Aziz Fud.

[Chris Distefano]

Who's Aziz Fud?

[Yannis Pappas]

Connecticut, Yukon player.

[Chris Distefano]

Really?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. One of the best players in the country.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, right now? Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's. That's. Her father is Tim Fudd, who is the best player on our team.

[Chris Distefano]

So now. So now.

[Yannis Pappas]

So Monte, I was a walk on. That didn't make it. So it wasn't really our team.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is. Yeah, but you were there.

[Yannis Pappas]

I practiced with them.

[Chris Distefano]

You practiced with them?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And so. So now these, the Montenegrins, what we thought was interesting about them is you can't conquer them. They're very, very tall people. The women are absolutely. Are absolutely gorgeous. The guys have huge pieces, but not enough people talk about Montenegro.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, they're not talking about and Marco. They're uncut. They're uncut. I mean, they just got hoods.

[Chris Distefano]

So he's got a hood.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's got a hood on his piece. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And so he's got.

[Yannis Pappas]

He.

[Chris Distefano]

So He's. He's like 6 foot 5 without a 12 inch.

[Yannis Pappas]

6, 8. He's 6 foot 8.

[Chris Distefano]

He's got a full hood.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's got a full hood. And he laughed big when you farted at my wedding.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean. And thank God.

[Chris Distefano]

750 for you on the wedding.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's a nice gift because he's just the best.

[Chris Distefano]

He gave you 750?

[Yannis Pappas]

No, I think he might have given me a dow.

[Chris Distefano]

I gave you that. Oh, I gave you 750.

[Yannis Pappas]

You gave me. You gave me seven. Nate gave me 300.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is. What the.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, he wasn't as rich as he is now, but he was still doing really good, I think, back then. Yeah, it's 2019. I think he could have went higher than 300. He gave me the same as my own.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is. Yeah. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Cuz I think he owes me a retroactive present. And I think he owes me some royalty points for coming up with Nateland. I created that. So sue him. I gave him that name.

[Chris Distefano]

I would sue him.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'm gonna fucking sue you, Mr. Lawler. I'm gonna sue you.

[Chris Distefano]

Here's the thing about.

[Yannis Pappas]

Talk to me about the things.

[Chris Distefano]

Here's the thing about Montenegro is a little show known as Game of Thrones was mostly filmed there. Did you know that?

[Yannis Pappas]

Are you serious? Yes. How did you know that, you autistic kid?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, a little more. What was filmed? Some. Some in Croatia, but some in Montenegro.

[Yannis Pappas]

Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. And Montenegro. So Serbia. So Montenegro is. Is a coastal place.

[Yannis Pappas]

Gorgeous.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. Because Croatia has a lot of the coast. And then they blocked Serbia. Serbia. They only. They basically blocked the ocean. But a little piece of it is Montenegro.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's right.

[Chris Distefano]

Serbia and Montenegro is the same country, right?

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, they are. They're like sovereign. It's like. It's called Serb Serbia, Serbia, Montenegro. Or like.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's like Italy and Sicily. Right?

[Yannis Pappas]

Like, kind of like that. Yeah, there it is right there. Kosovo's right next down to the Kosovo. I think those. They're muzzed out.

[Chris Distefano]

They're must out. So Montenegro, again, beautiful by the coast. But then if we're just being honest, it's surrounded by one big.

[Yannis Pappas]

Montecro.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

I don't know about that.

[Chris Distefano]

Like, out. Yeah. But I mean, kotz inside of hav. I mean, these places are holes.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, Sarajevo, there was, you know, big, big problems in Sarajevo. You know, maybe they.

[Chris Distefano]

Maybe not anymore. But, I mean, at one point they were.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, it ain't Paris. Yeah, it's not Paris. But, you know, Bulgaria is there.

[Chris Distefano]

Bosnia has gone Vida. I mean. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, you got Romania around it. Bosnia, you got Bulgaria and then Albania.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

Slavs, they're Slavic.

[Chris Distefano]

People must out. Most of those countries are Muslim. No, most of Montenegro.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, most of those countries are Christian.

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, most. Albania.

[Yannis Pappas]

Albania.

[Chris Distefano]

Serbia, they're most.

[Yannis Pappas]

Now this, I think Albania's like 50, 50, maybe 60, 40 miles. I. We gotta look it up. Kosovo's most out, I think. Bosnia, I think they may be bust out. Serbia's. They're Orthodox and the Montenegrins are Orthodox.

[Chris Distefano]

Bulgaria's Mazda.

[Yannis Pappas]

Bulgaria is not muzzed out.

[Chris Distefano]

Now, what's the difference between Greece and North Macedonia? Isn't that really just Greece?

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, that's Alexander the Greats from up there. But they're. They're Slavs. All those upper Slavs, they're all Slavs. They just all sectioned off and they kill each other. They fight, but they're all slobs. Right.

[Chris Distefano]

So you love to go Slovenia, Croatia, obviously. I'm just kidding about the being shitholes. I'm just doing a bit. But because they actually are beautiful places.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. And you see there, I've been To Budva. Gorgeous right there. No, Bud was a city in Montenegro. It's right.

[Chris Distefano]

You went with Marco.

[Yannis Pappas]

I went to Marco, Yeah. I went there. Yeah. I went there. Budva beautiful on the gorgeous, gorgeous.

[Chris Distefano]

Pull up a little picture of Budva.

[Yannis Pappas]

Bud was nice. And let me tell you something, because when I the people over there, I felt like Alice in Wonderland because I went. When I went. I went from Italy where everyone's very short. Right. They're kind of squeakish.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And then I went from Italy and we flew to Montenegro. And then I was a squeak. It's just what I mean, they are literally. I think it's the Danish. Montenegro and some tribe in Africa are the three tallest people in the world. So on average their chicks are like 5, 9. Average. You'll see chicks like 6 foot 6 one nice long legs. I mean these people are gorgeous, cuz.

[Chris Distefano]

Now do they do flights into Montenegro? You got slingshots.

[Yannis Pappas]

I think you can take a. You got to take a slick shot.

[Chris Distefano]

Slingy.

[Yannis Pappas]

You got to take a slingshot to a country.

[Chris Distefano]

Italy or something like that. Yeah. They're not flying in there.

[Yannis Pappas]

There's not a lot of direct flights to Montenegro. You got to do a connecting slingshot.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you got to just. What it is now. Monos. Nice.

[Yannis Pappas]

My boy Marco is a handsome kid. And when he was young, he was real handsome.

[Chris Distefano]

And here's. He blew out a little bit now.

[Yannis Pappas]

He still looks good.

[Chris Distefano]

He almost got killed in Times Square.

[Yannis Pappas]

He almost got killed in Times Square by that guy with the car, which was wild. If you go watch that video. Listen to this. This is a true story. It's so wild that it was him. So there was a infamous thing where a guy in Times Squared drove his car onto the side and hit a bunch of people. This was like what, eight years ago?

[Chris Distefano]

Something like that. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And the first guy that would. That jumps out of the way. He's unmistakable in the video because he's so big. Was Marco. He said, you know, he said he. Because he was a professional basketball player, he said he used the jukeboat like he was able to use a first step to get out of there. Yeah. Yeah. So he almost got hit by that. Yeah, he was the first guy who almost got hit.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

And then he moved and other people got hit.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. So. But he was. He's a real good looking guy in college. It's a fun story. Right. So I was trying out for the team, so I knew him and he would like. He was an academic, all American. He's a real smart kid. But he would sit by himself and he would eat ice cream. He would like space out. And Montenegrins are just tough people. Yeah, right. Like so during practice he would just start throwing blows at somebody. He would just start throwing blows, kicking and punching. They would. They would bang in the post and then he would just fight someone and they would be over. And then he played and then he'd fight someone else. Yeah, I mean he headbutted me in the face. Yeah, just what it is. And so he'd be sit there with this mean look on his face. He has chain eye. He was licking his ice cream like. Ah, right. And he would use. His hair was always like a little shiny because he would put like grease in his hair. And I was sitting with this gay guy from my floor, on my dorm floor that I was friends with. And he was just looking at him. The gay guy just looked at him and he goes, oh. Only a sound the gay guy could make. Like he came from like in his gut. He's like, oh, he's so. And I started dying and Marco looked over and he never knew. And I told him later what he said and it was funny.

[Chris Distefano]

He was disgusted.

[Yannis Pappas]

You know, he's funny because Marco has gay music tastes. He likes the Pet Shop Boys. Big, big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bigger than the Pet Shop Boys.

[Chris Distefano]

So he's got. So he's a little. He got. Got a little nick.

[Yannis Pappas]

I think what happens is when you're a smart kid, you're just. There's a little gay spray on you.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's just what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's just how it goes.

[Chris Distefano]

Like in Montenegro, because he's such a smart guy, they assume he's a gay man.

[Yannis Pappas]

I think he's like the you from Ridgewood. They just go, he must have got nicked.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

But the only difference is Marco just headbutt you. He'll bite you. Yeah, he'll just get on you. It's just a little crazy. It's crazy. Yeah, just a little crazy. One time I thought he was gonna kill our other friend.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because my other friend was an alcoholic and he threw vodka in his face. And I thought he was kind of to kill him.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

And I had to stop him. Yeah, but. But Mon Montenegro is interesting cuz. Because the ottomans couldn't get it. They tried and they tried because. Cuz they would call them like mountain monsters or something and they would. And these guys would just. They would eat them up.

[Chris Distefano]

Who do you think would win in a fight. Montenegrins versus the Vikings, very similar, but I think Vikings more famous.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, I think the, the. I think the Macedonian. I mean, the Montenegrins, I think the Ottomans actually called the mountain giants. So they had a lore about them and they were like, we just can't conquer these people because mountainous areas are just. Can you make it bigger? Mountainous areas are very hard to conquer. So obviously they come. There's. The Montenegrins are southern Slavs.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. Because Slav is. The word slave comes from sloth.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Because the Ottomans, it comes from the word word Slav because the Ottomans just used to enslave these kids.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

And so they would just. Instead of calling them a slave, they just called the. You got. How many slobs do you got?

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

And it just became slaves. Right. So. But the Montenegrins, they couldn't get. It was a little tribe of Slavs they couldn't get.

[Chris Distefano]

These kids were just big, big boys.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, they got the Albanians big, they got the Greeks big.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

They got all the other ones big, but they couldn't. This was like a little oasis in the middle of it that they just could not conquer. They kept trying, they kept trying and they couldn't get it. So we're, you know, we're talking about the Balkan Peninsula. And you know, they're Orthodox Christian, they speak Serbo Croatian. So the Croats speak that language, the Serbian speak it, the Montenegrin speak it. And they had a big medieval kingdom there called Zeta. Yeah, they had a Zeta, yeah. Under King Mihalio. And then it was absorbed by the Serbs. So that's where they come together and it was absorbed into the Serbian dynasty empire. But it's got this like very famously mountainous terrain that has always kind of fostered an autonomy.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what makes it unique, is that the mountains are impossible to control. So sometimes. Cuz geography is destiny.

[Yannis Pappas]

It is. Look at Afghanistan. Can't be conquered because it's the mountains.

[Chris Distefano]

And we can't be conquered because of the oceans.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Jesus loves certain places.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Well, once we get Greenland, we're. Nobody's with us, you know.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you know what. What the reason is too, with Greenland? Why? Why? How important that is?

[Yannis Pappas]

All I know is I saw Ms. Greenland and I was like, get it? Got it. She was a piece. Get it. What is it?

[Chris Distefano]

So, because any nuclear ballistic missile that would be shot our way from Russia or China, all of them, the trajectory, like 85% of them have to go over the Arctic Circle, Greenland. So with this Iron dome that The United States is trying to build Greenland is imperative to own that, because then they can build that iron dome over Greenland and they can't get the nuke over Greenland. And if they can't get the nuke over Greenland, it's very difficult to get them any other way. And you're almost like, pretty much 100% protected.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, we're gonna. Whichever way you slice it, we're getting Greenland.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. So what?

[Yannis Pappas]

We're gonna take it.

[Chris Distefano]

But what is the actual thing? Because he didn't say that we got it. It's like, like, what's. What happened at Davos? Do we have it or do we have Davos?

[Yannis Pappas]

Is what happened to Davos.

[Chris Distefano]

The conference in Switzerland where Trump gave.

[Yannis Pappas]

Everyone a talking to.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what happens.

[Yannis Pappas]

So wild.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

He was just like, you're all mooching off of us. You're all shit. You all owe us money. Yeah, we're getting out of here. We're pulling out a. Who, the World Health Organization, where you're ripping us off. We're looking to do fair. He's like, I'm looking at a few of you right now. Been very nasty to me. You've been very nasty.

[Chris Distefano]

And he said that for.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, I mean, have you seen it?

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Yannis Pappas]

He was talking. He goes, you won't even make eye contact with me. A few of you in this room. Room have been very nasty to me, ripping me off. And Macron, I like Macron. He's a good guy. I do like Macron. But he says, no, Donald, we can't do that. We're not gonna do it. Guess what I said if you don't do it, we're gonna slap a tariff on you. And guess what? He did it. They all do it. They all do it. Yeah, it's all been nasty. You've been ripping us off and you've been nasty. Oh, my God, it was hilarious.

[Chris Distefano]

So what is the status right now? We have Greenland.

[Yannis Pappas]

We do not have Greenland.

[Chris Distefano]

No. And we're not going to get green.

[Yannis Pappas]

We're offered them, buddy. I think the offer was, what, like 770 bill? 700 bill, something like that. And then every. There's only 30, 000 people on there. Like 35, 000 people. And then each one of those people would get a hundred. Hundred K. Cash. Cash, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

So that was the.

[Chris Distefano]

So they want it. The people want it.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, the people don't. I. Well, I think some may, but most. I think no. Denmark is going like. No, but Denmark. Is Denmark really involved in Greenland. It's kind of a weird thing and is like.

[Chris Distefano]

It's not. But Denmark doesn't really own it outright either. No, no, nobody actually owns.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, it's just the people there. Yeah, it's kind of Greenland, but it's 30,000 folks, so do you think there's less people? There's more people in Bay Ridge.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just one Greenland.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

30,000 isn't even like one barbecue at my house.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's not a lot of people.

[Chris Distefano]

So I. Because I. I feel like the media has been deliberately, like, confusing about this. I don't know what the status is from. From this Davos conference. I don't know. They said that like they were in negotiations, but it's not like there's front page news. US now has Greenland.

[Yannis Pappas]

What is the status, Jesse, do we know what's going on?

[Chris Distefano]

What? Yeah, what are they saying? Trump said he made a deal. Trump said he made. What does that mean?

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, that's Trump for you.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Yannis Pappas]

And they made a very good deal.

[Chris Distefano]

They're going to agree to everything we say.

[Yannis Pappas]

You know, I know at some point he did say, they call me a dictator. He goes, I am a dictator. And sometimes you need a dictator.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

So he's wild. He's a wild boy. He's like, sometimes you need one. And I am one. He doesn't care anymore.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, he just does. 80 years old.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, he just doesn't care.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, it's got to feel wild to be him, right? Yeah, it's got to feel pretty insane.

[Yannis Pappas]

It is insane.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Can you find out what that is? And while you do, I'll just tell you a little quick history.

[Chris Distefano]

Let's just read the email from the. Listen, we'll be right back after this. Me and Yarn's gonna read some emails.

[Yannis Pappas]

Can I tell you something, Christopher?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

I would be dead broke if it wasn't for Rocket Money.

[Chris Distefano]

Because Rocket Money is the personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. And that has come in immensely for me because I lose a lot of money buying and selling houses too quick.

[Yannis Pappas]

You know what happened? It ended up that me and my wife both had Netflix accounts, both had Hulu's. And then I realized, oh, we only need one because we're technically still a family.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And I don't want to leave yet.

[Chris Distefano]

It's. What.

[Yannis Pappas]

So I don't need, you know, you don't need your own if you're in the same house.

[Chris Distefano]

You're in the same house. And also it's helped me because I moved so much. I have about 18 Con Ed accounts still active, and Rocket Money has helped me save money on them by closing some of them down. So they can help you to let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Hyenas that's RocketMoney.com HyenasRocketMoney.com Hyenas this.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right here is for our fans who are a little classy and want to look good. Rag and Bone is one of my favorite brands, period. Before they started sponsoring our show, the kid was outfitted in Rag and Bone. I got a Rag and Bone pair of sneakers and they sent us some.

[Chris Distefano]

Cute, super cute clothing because Rag and Bone is amazing. I've been put onto it. Now. I'm not a cultured kid. I'm a kid deep from Queens. So when Rag and Bone started coming on the show, I thought it was a dog story store. But now I know it's a beautiful clothing store and the owners of it live very close to Jesse. We actually know the brownstone. So we're going to come ring your bell now.

[Yannis Pappas]

I got some nice jeans that were sent, like, here's the thing.

[Chris Distefano]

Jeans.

[Yannis Pappas]

You think like, oh, they're just whatever. Rag and Bone jeans are the best. These look super cute and they make you look upscale. So ragambo makes you just look super cute. Yeah. Okay. So what you got to do is if you like super cute stuff, you like super cute jeans, you like super cute clothes. All right, you want to check out Rag and Bones infused collection because it overdoes it with the design.

[Chris Distefano]

Bottom line is if you're into super cute guys like us that you need to go to Rag and Bone. Yeah. It's time to upgrade your denim with Rag and Bone. For a limited time, our listeners get 20 off their entire I'm hitting it.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'm telling you, I'm hitting my own thing.

[Chris Distefano]

Use that code [e-mail] that's 20% [e-mail] promo code HYENAS. When they ask where you heard about them, please support our show and let them know we sent you.

[Yannis Pappas]

So basically, let's talk about Montenegro versus the Ottomans because that was the very what makes the Montenegrins very interesting, right?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, these. These fucking Montenegrins.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, these, these Montenegrins from the 15th to the 19th century, they were going up against the Ottomans. Right?

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

So it was one of the few areas, like I said, that the Ottoman Empire just couldn't get even though they constantly kept trying. And when you can't get it, it means you really want, means you really wanted. They wanted more, you know? Yeah, they were chasing it. They couldn't get it. And it's because these Montenegrins have like a very warrior like culture.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

These guys are crazy. So they never really got control. And the highlands remained self governing no matter what they tried. And Montenegro continue to function as a tribal federation confederation. And they use guerrilla warfare where they would just abuse these. They would just pluck these Ottomans off these, these at night. They would like just come out and these giants would just come out of the mountains and just. Just like. Really? They'd make shish kebab? Yeah, it's what they just made donar sandwiches out of these kids. With frequent ambushes, they refused to pay taxes. And the Ottomans just tried multiple times to launch as much cruelty as you can, but they couldn't do anything.

[Chris Distefano]

And because they were getting hit with axes and then their pieces, they were.

[Yannis Pappas]

Just like, it was almost like fighting Vikings. They were like, like they were crazy. And also Serbia and Russia also fought with them too. But you know, it's. It's just they have that clan culture up there where warfare was just part of their identity. Yeah. So they were just warriors and they became a real like symbol of like resistance against the muzzies. Yeah, the Muzzies just couldn't get them.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

So, you know, it's an interesting thing to compare them to the Vikings.

[Chris Distefano]

Because.

[Yannis Pappas]

They are kind of Viking, like.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it is pretty interesting too, just being a comedian, how it's like how our lives can be so different. Like we're here doing this, you know, like leaning in chairs. My kids are on a beanbag waiting for pizza. And Shane's got five shows sold out in Madison Square Garden.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's got five, right?

[Chris Distefano]

Five. Yeah, yeah. And we're just sitting here reading Montenegro facts off ChatGPT. It's just what it is, guys. Yeah. Yeah. But I'd rather be us.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, me too. I'd rather be a soul Joe's the night before his wedding.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's what it is. Soldier had to cancel his bachelor party to Puerto Rico this weekend.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, he did?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. He asked me if I wanted to go. I said I go to Puerto Rico every day.

[Yannis Pappas]

Why is that? Because ice is down there.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, because. Yeah, there's ice in the sky and ice on the streets.

[Yannis Pappas]

So the way the Ottomans talked about them was pretty funny. Did they called them rebellious and insubordinate they called them bandits, and they called them people of disorder.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And they were repeatedly described as problematic outsiders who refused to behave like subjects. What it is, and these people do not accept order was the way they called the mountain savages.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's what it is. They call them mountain savages. And they sometimes would change out the word savage to something a little worse.

[Yannis Pappas]

Say something, they would say something else.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Crude people, but dangerously capable in their mountains. These are some of the quotes from some of the Islamic writers at the time. They were described as fanatically Christian, deeply loyal to their Orthodox clergy, and just resistant to this Marco. They resist. They. They had an immunity to the virus.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

The straight didn't affect them.

[Chris Distefano]

Is Marco fanatically Christian?

[Yannis Pappas]

No, he's more atheist. That's personal, I guess, to him. Interesting. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

So some Ottoman governors complain that they submit with their tongues, but not with their hearts. That's a polite way of saying they lie to us.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And they were known to fight to the death, and they preferred annihilation to submission. Here's some more quotes. These people are impossible. Another one. This land is not worth the cost. Yeah, these are all quotes.

[Chris Distefano]

Can you. Jesse, pull up an ancient Montenegrin? What they looked like? Yeah, I want to see what they looked like. This is just what it is. And the throated pornhub.

[Yannis Pappas]

Here's another one. Another quote from an Ottoman military guy. They are poor, stubborn mountain Christians who refuse order, refuse taxes, refuse conversions, and cannot be crushed without wasting men and money. So they were just eaten? They were just eating these Turks?

[Chris Distefano]

It's just one. Yeah. I mean, look at them. They're big boys. We got a picture of one up here. I mean, this guy's just about to behead somebody else.

[Yannis Pappas]

Y. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just what it is. Yeah. These Montenegrins are. I mean, I know Marco. I knew a couple of other guys who are from Montenegro. They are just big. There's been a few dudes in the NBA from Montenegro.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes. Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

A lot of basketball players come out of Montenegro and Serbia.

[Chris Distefano]

Jokic just from Serbia, right?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

He's another big boy.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes. Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Is Jokic out?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

For the season A while?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

What do you do again? A month.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, it's just a month.

[Chris Distefano]

He banged up his knee.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, if. I know we're talking about Montenegro, but, I mean, Jokic is. I think, actually people don't understand. Might be the best. You might put up the best stats of all time.

[Yannis Pappas]

He might.

[Chris Distefano]

He Might actually be the best NBA player of all time.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. And I think a lot of Montenegrins end up playing professional basketball because Montenegro means they're people of the Black Mountain.

[Chris Distefano]

Is that what it is?

[Yannis Pappas]

People of the Black Mountain. So the thing is, is just no.

[Chris Distefano]

Matter what edge of the earth you're in, people find a way to get a little racist.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, they do. Yeah. The Ottomans said it was a land that devours armies. The mountain itself fights alongside them.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

So they had, like. They were like a boogeyman to the Ottomans. Like, they just couldn't. They killed wounded enemies. They preferred death. And one guy said, there's no victory here, only survival. Priests command warriors. Priests carried weapons. Bishop ordered killings. Yeah. They just were not.

[Chris Distefano]

What it. With. You don't.

[Yannis Pappas]

With them. You don't.

[Chris Distefano]

By the way, priest is trying to get wild now. I saw a video of a priest DJing the other night. That's a real DJ.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You see this guy?

[Yannis Pappas]

I did see that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. So it's just. Yeah, honey, I know. We've been here for a long time, honey. We're almost done. All we have, baby, is the pizza's gonna come, and then we're gonna read out the Patreon names. Oh, my God.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, my God.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Honey. So.

[Yannis Pappas]

So I'll tell you a funny story.

[Chris Distefano]

Tell me.

[Yannis Pappas]

So Marco took us to this, like.

[Chris Distefano]

Mountain village in Montenegro.

[Yannis Pappas]

Montenegro.

[Chris Distefano]

Did he have a shirt off?

[Yannis Pappas]

No, he didn't. First of all, when we got there, this was, like, right before Clinton decided to, like, bomb over there.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

So.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, you went in the 90s.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. 99.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. You were young. Yeah. You're just an old kid.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. So it was me and Todd Robins. Say, who's black?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Who didn't give you anything for your wedding?

[Yannis Pappas]

So everyone. Back then, the Internet wasn't a big thing. So these people had never seen a African American. So everyone was pointing at him and just yelling, Jordan. Kids would yell, Jordan. They'd take pictures of them. Take pictures with them.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because they'd never seen a black person, too, though, right? 6 1. He's about your height and he's big. He was, you know, but, you know, six one. So big.

[Chris Distefano]

Big.

[Yannis Pappas]

But there. I mean, he's just average. But they were just going, michael Jordan. Michael Jordan. And then they would just take pictures with him like he was a celebrity.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because he was. All they knew was Michael Jordan. So he took us to this mountain village, and we met this guy there that Marco and his friend. It was beautiful. It's very rural. Dude. I mean, you're talking about like people eating animals outside, like very rural. Into the mountain we were in.

[Chris Distefano]

We.

[Yannis Pappas]

We went where the Montenegrins live. Like it wasn't a big tourist area, but the tourist areas a little bit are like Budva, things like that. We weren't. I can't remember the name of it, but we went to this mountain village and we met this guy, right, Who Marco knew. And he was like the crazy guy in the town. But not crazy like in a non dangerous way.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Yannis Pappas]

Crazy in like a dangerous way. Okay, but Marco knew him, so what.

[Chris Distefano]

Would he do that was crazy?

[Yannis Pappas]

I'll tell you the story right now because this is as leaky as you get. Yeah, this is as leaky as you get. So after we left them, and I was like, so who is that guy? He was like, yeah, that guy.

[Chris Distefano]

He's.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's just.

[Chris Distefano]

He's.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's off. People, you know, treat him well because he's very dangerous. And it's just what it is. And he was a big guy. And so there was this one story told. So he goes, this is a famous thing that happened in the town. He was at some pub, some bar or whatever, or like restaurant there. Everyone's drinking, you know, and this guy was playing darts, right? So this guy who we met, who we hung out with, goes over. None of them spoke a lick of English, so I don't know what any of them were saying, right? So Marco was telling us. So the guy. This guy goes over to the guy playing darts and he goes, what are you doing? And he goes, what do you mean, I'm playing darts? He goes, no, what are you doing to the dartboard? He goes, I'm. I'm playing darts. And he goes. He goes, how would. How would you feel if I. If I threw through that?

[Chris Distefano]

You.

[Yannis Pappas]

How do you think the dart door feels? It's like you're hurting the dartboard.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay?

[Yannis Pappas]

So he was like. And then he took the darts and he started stabbing the guy with the darts. Yeah, because he said he was defending the dartboard, Right? He said that you were hurting the dartboard. Yeah, he wasn't thinking about the dartboard's feelings. And then he said he turned the guy into a dartboard.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

So the guy would learn a lesson about what the dartboard was feeling like.

[Chris Distefano]

Did he kill the guy?

[Yannis Pappas]

I don't know. I don't remember if he kill the guy. But he started throwing the darts at the guy.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is. That's called the leaky roof.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's what you call fully blown off roof.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And our pizzas here will be right back.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

Ooh. Cuz, tell me about factors.

[Chris Distefano]

I was getting fat, so I said I need factor. Because before that I was on fatter. But now factor has helped me. Cuz. Because the thing about getting in shape and dieting and all that stuff. Stuff is a lot of times it's overwhelming because you're like, I don't know what to eat, I don't know when to eat it, I don't know how much to make. I gotta weigh it, I gotta do this, I gotta do that. Factor does all of it for you. They got the lean protein, colorful vegetables, whole food ingredients, healthy fats. The stuff you would make if you had the time, but a lot of us don't. They do all the prep work and the food tastes fantastic. Okay. They have rotating meals every week. High protein calorie, smart Mediterranean GLP1 support, ready to eat salads. You pick your fit, you pick your goals.

[Yannis Pappas]

Goals.

[Chris Distefano]

What do you want to do? And then they adjust the food that you want. Healthier eating, calorie management, more protein, whatever you're actually trying to do. Factor has got you.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. They got new muscle pro collection for strength and recovery. And what I like about it is it's like having your own personal chef without having to hire your own personal chef.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because you know what? What I need is like healthy options that are cooked. Because I can't cook. And that's why I do at least twice a week, I do factor. So head to FactorMeals.com HYENAS 50 off all one week. Word. Use the code HYENAS50OFF to get. Wow. 50 off your first factor box plus free breakfast for a year. Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

You hear that, girls? Free breakfast for a year from factor.

[Yannis Pappas]

Offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Make healthier eating easy with factor.

[Chris Distefano]

Thank you. Cause tell me about Lucy. I know you're a nicotine guy.

[Yannis Pappas]

I am a nicotine nicotiner.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

You got nicked with nicotine. I got nicked with nicotine. Lucy is a great brand with great flavors. This applies to people who like nicotine. I love nicotine and I love subscribing to Lucy so I can keep, you know, I don't have to worry about re upping because that's a big problem us nicotine users know.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Is like when you run out, you turn the house upside inside. Cuz I'll put a paper towel in my mouth. I need something in my mouth. So Lucy always has me covered. I like my espresso. I always do Lucy in the morning. Yeah, I do an espresso flavor with my coffee. Their breakers are great. Gives you a little extra flavor, explodes in your mouth.

[Chris Distefano]

And it's one of those times where like, you're a better person, you're easier to deal with when you get that nicotine in you. That's why even sometimes your wife is like, you know what, Yanni, why don't you go in the next room and go be with Lucy?

[Yannis Pappas]

Go be with Lucy. I cheat on my life wife with Lucy.

[Chris Distefano]

What it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

So right now, go subscribe. You know, get on their. Get on their menu, get 20 off your first order. Order when you buy online with the code hyenas. And if you don't want to wait, just head to Lucy Co stores to find Lucy near you and grab it today. Lucy's the only pouch that gives you long lasting favor flavor whenever you need it. And here's the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults legal age and every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

[Chris Distefano]

All right, my daughter turned off the mic. We got. Honey, I get you pizza. We saved you the last slice. Me and Aunt Yanni saved you the last slice. Yeah, Delilah's not turning anything on. Well, can you put young Sheldon on for your sister? Delilah, sweetie, can you put young Sheldon on for your sister on the iPad? I know, but can you just do it? We're almost done, honey. And then we're gonna go, okay? And then we get it. She wants to watch young Charlotte with you. She loves you. All right. Speaking of love, Montenegrins. Yanni.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. What a bottom.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, what. Delilah, can you please just put on young show? What girl keeps texting you? Okay, she's to bother. Just ignore her. Just. Just ignore her. Say that. Say that. I'm with my dad on my TT and I'm listening to them do their podcast about Montenegro. Tell them that. And then. Sam, I need to watch young Sheldo and my sissy.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, come on.

[Chris Distefano]

Because we always do this. We always break to eat pizza, and then we're too tired to do the rest of the episode.

[Yannis Pappas]

We're gonna. All we have to do is muscle it out.

[Chris Distefano]

I say we should start reading the Patreon.

[Yannis Pappas]

We could start doing that. But let me just say some facts.

[Chris Distefano]

That help bangers of the Patreon.

[Yannis Pappas]

Daves facts help too.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Montenegro is actually, you know, the fact that you're a P. I'm a P. So are you. Yeah. Montenegro is actually an independent country. Six, two. Since 2006.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, wow. It depends on people.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Serbia is a separate country. They have diplomatic relations, but also they have tensions with each other.

[Chris Distefano]

Montenegro, I mean, I want to go big, but that's what we call a boys trap trip.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's the boys trip. Because it's a tough place. And here's the thing. They have never successfully been conquered.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

The Venetians had some coastal towns like Budva, which I've been.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

For a little while. The Ottomans nominally occupied it, they said, but they really didn't because what's a Venetian?

[Chris Distefano]

From Venice.

[Yannis Pappas]

From Venice.

[Chris Distefano]

So Venice used to be their own country.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Venice used to be its only little empire. They also conquered. They were all over the place. They were in Crete. They were. They were running around the Venetians.

[Chris Distefano]

Whoa. Have you ever been to Venice?

[Yannis Pappas]

Cause it's a cute city. Never been there. And I want to go.

[Chris Distefano]

Girls, do you want to go to Venice? Where do you girls want to go on vacation? Potatoes? Paris or Hawaii?

[Yannis Pappas]

I want to go to K Pop. Or Argentina.

[Chris Distefano]

Or Argentina. Ooh, little Nazi. You want to go to K Pop? Demon. Do you want to go to a little country called Korea?

[Yannis Pappas]

Do you want to go. Do you want to go to Montenegro?

[Chris Distefano]

Would you want to go to Montenegro, girls? No. Okay. It's a beautiful country with big, tall, beautiful people. No. All right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Cause, well, because one of the big. One of the big sayings in Montenegro, we will starve, but we will not kneel. Yeah. It's just what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

You want to play with those people?

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Yannis Pappas]

Do you want to play with Montenegrins in a sad.

[Chris Distefano]

Here's the thing. Cause is, I'm just going to be honest with you, as I know I don't have to do the ancestry dot com. I know for a fact I'm not Montenegrin, because I absolutely will need.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You don't have any scared little boy?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. You don't have any of that Viking stuff to you?

[Chris Distefano]

No. You wear German stuff.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. You just ran inside.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

When you saw deer, I ran inside, scared of a deer with the dog.

[Chris Distefano]

I started running away, and I left my daughter and the dog outside.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, what is that about?

[Chris Distefano]

Because I get scared of wildlife. I get scared in the area I live in. Because there's deer. Because when I think there's deer, then I think there's bears.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. You know it's interesting because some of the toughest kids from the city, like, especially minorities, they're scared of the country. Yeah. They're scared of like wildlife and stuff. Because we only grow up with squirrels.

[Chris Distefano]

That's all we see. Pigeons and that's it.

[Yannis Pappas]

Squirrels, rats, pigeons, cockroaches.

[Chris Distefano]

I feel safer around a crackhead than a deer.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, exactly. It's weird. Now would you trade stink bugs for cockroaches or you haven't experienced stink bugs yet?

[Chris Distefano]

No. Stink bugs are in the house.

[Yannis Pappas]

They're relentless, cuz.

[Chris Distefano]

And they don't stop. And they come in the winter.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, they're like the Chinese bugs. They don't give up.

[Chris Distefano]

No. What happens with stink bug if you, if you, if you crush it, it'll stink.

[Yannis Pappas]

It makes a little stink, but some people are impervious to it. I must be pretty smelly cuz it don't bother me none.

[Chris Distefano]

It don't bother.

[Yannis Pappas]

I don't smell anything. I love, but I pop them quick.

[Chris Distefano]

Once or twice a week. One of the girls? Yes, honey? Delilah, honey, can you please just put on young Sheldon for your sister? We're almost done. Put something else on.

[Yannis Pappas]

We need K Pop and the Demon Hunters.

[Chris Distefano]

Put K Pop and the Demon Hunters. Can you put anything on?

[Yannis Pappas]

I like to call Tupac and the Demon Hunters. Come on. On. We don't watch the anymore. We're big girls. Oh, you don't watch it anymore.

[Chris Distefano]

You're big girls now that's for little babies.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's for little babies. Not for, not for grown ups like you. Guess what.

[Chris Distefano]

Guess what. Guess what. Guess what.

[Yannis Pappas]

Guess what? I have two dogs. I have two dogs. Well, I have two dogs too because I'm going to take this for them. She's going to take potatoes.

[Chris Distefano]

She's going to take Jesse's dog.

[Yannis Pappas]

Going to take your dog. That's it. Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

Now what would happen now what side.

[Yannis Pappas]

Does that that come from?

[Chris Distefano]

That she wants the dogs?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, that she could take it.

[Chris Distefano]

That she's gonna take a dog?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's Sunset Park.

[Chris Distefano]

That's from that Sunset party lifestyle.

[Yannis Pappas]

That used to be your dog.

[Chris Distefano]

That was my dog. Now that it's mine. Tricked ya. Yeah, she first time she ever met Sergio she thought it was her uncle. So it's just what it is. She thought Sergio was a member of.

[Yannis Pappas]

The family because she's got the most beautiful smile.

[Chris Distefano]

She's a beautiful, beautiful girl.

[Yannis Pappas]

She's a beautiful girl. She's got a great sunny disposition.

[Chris Distefano]

A guy came up to us at the mall two Weeks ago and asked if you want to be a mod. I said, get away from my kid.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Get away from me and my kid. The answer is no.

[Yannis Pappas]

The answer is no. Get out of here.

[Chris Distefano]

You know what it is? She looks like she's from the 70s, my daughter.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

She's got like 70s vibes to her.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. And she's playing with the whooping cushion.

[Chris Distefano]

Playing with the whoop. Because. Yeah. That. You like that it makes fart noises? Nope.

[Yannis Pappas]

Your camera.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Then she went the other way.

[Yannis Pappas]

Cause you better keep boxing because you got two beautiful daughters you're gonna have to protect. You can't run away. If you're going to run away from beer, what are you going to do?

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

If there's guys.

[Chris Distefano]

Because I, I, I hope. I just hope and pray that my daughters are just.

[Yannis Pappas]

It'd be easier.

[Chris Distefano]

Easier if they were just right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because here's the thing. Do you know there's a lot of. There's a lot of domestic violence in the lesbian community, which I couldn't believe the most domestic abuse happens amongst. I gotta be honest with you.

[Chris Distefano]

If my daughter. There was a domestic abuse situation. Yeah. I'd go over to their house and I'd beat the shit out of for touching my daughter. I would just lay hands on that.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Yeah. It would just be easier.

[Chris Distefano]

It would just be easier. But. Because I would. Because, you know, because the truth is, if she was in a heterosexual relationship and her husband put hands on her, and if he was a big guy that could throw hands, I might just not, you know, know what to do.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

I might have to call Tommy and then. Or I might just have to call a lawyer.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

But if it was a woman.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. I just, I. When I get scared, I want to go in Tommy Galuchi's lap. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes, honey.

[Yannis Pappas]

I put something on. She's deciding not to watch it.

[Chris Distefano]

Why did you put on.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's not a movie. It's just. It's just like Roblox. Something I need to do for school and she can.

[Chris Distefano]

All right, Delilah, can you please turn off Gim Kit or whatever it is and just for five minutes, put on Young Sheldon for her, Please. Can you just do it so we can get through this?

[Yannis Pappas]

He just got no leverage as a dad. It's just. That's when you need the mom to come in and they just listen to mom. They don't listen because what mom will.

[Chris Distefano]

Do is just take the iPad out of their hands and throw. Threatened to drop it off a four.

[Yannis Pappas]

Foot story and this is what it is, you know, with girls. It's just the way it goes is the mothers do all the work with girls. The mothers actually do all the. A lot of the rearing. But then the. The girls love their dad. And I think the reason is because they're all women, essentially. And I think the whole goal of women is to knock off the queen.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

So when they grow up, they got to knock off the queen because they always fight with the mothers. You ever hear daughters and mothers? Yeah, they fight big. My five year old and my wife already fight. And my mother and my mother in law. I mean, my wife and my mother in law go at it.

[Chris Distefano]

They didn't talk for months.

[Yannis Pappas]

They go at it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

One time they just had a physical altercation.

[Chris Distefano]

It's really.

[Yannis Pappas]

They both came to me, like, it was slightly. And then they came to me and they were like. They were telling me what they did, like, trying to prove the other side. I was like, get me out of here. I don't know. I don't want any part of this.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I mean, you had the wig on. You were doing cameo. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, the women just. They go at each other, cuz. Have you noticed that?

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah, yeah. They already. I mean, because here's the truth is, too, as fathers, it's like, I just want my kids to have a good time. I really.

[Yannis Pappas]

I really don't care. Right. Like, just stay on the iPad.

[Chris Distefano]

Eat ice cream. I just want you to have a good time, baby.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right. We just want to have fun. For fun.

[Chris Distefano]

It was okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Women are like, no, no, he's got it. Swag.

[Yannis Pappas]

This way, this way.

[Chris Distefano]

And these are the rules. Yeah. And I'm just like, yeah. I mean, who cares?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. But that's what kind of actually keeps them healthy. Because if it was just us, they beating donuts every night for dinner.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I mean, I don't think I've ever said no to them. When she was like, she wants donuts and pizza. I'm like, me too, babe. Let's do it. But, mom. But Jazz has to come and say we have to. All their plates always have the little vegetables, little protein.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. She's very healthy, right?

[Chris Distefano]

She's more healthy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm just. I was eating tortellini out of the pot with my hands last night.

[Yannis Pappas]

You were right.

[Chris Distefano]

Where to go? Shovel them in.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And they. And my girls just look at me.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And a lot of times what my girls will do is they won't finish their food and they'll just all slide their plates to me. Yeah, they just know to do that.

[Yannis Pappas]

You know, you just. I'm telling you, dude, you're fighting against the current, man. You don't have the genes or the DNA to be able to eat the way you keep trying to make yourselves eat. You, you just. What you got to do is control the sweets because you're a guy who just needs like a big turkey. Like, I mean, you're a big kid.

[Chris Distefano]

You need food. Multiple doctors now. Multiple fitness guys.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's just the sweets. You have a freaking problem with one.

[Chris Distefano]

Of them being Tank Sinatra.

[Yannis Pappas]

Stop being such a fruit loop with the sweets.

[Chris Distefano]

I. I can't stop eating sweets. But they said. Said it's time for glp. Once it's time to just go on Ozempic or go on Mounjaro, just micro dose it and do it. Because that controls the sweets craving and that. The bad part about Sweets is your A1C, your blood sugar, and that's what GLP1s do. They lower that.

[Yannis Pappas]

Have you ever tried just fruit to satiate it?

[Chris Distefano]

Then I dip it in.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because you're a fruit. Yeah. So what are you just.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And how about my dad? You know, he lost all this weight three years ago, right? And then I, you know, he lost all this weight. He said he just started eating half a tuna sandwich. Whatever. And then I was looking through his medicine. Medications. He's at the house. He's been on Ozempic for three years. He didn't even know. He didn't even know he was on some type of. He was on semaglutide.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because he's. The original. Reality is a suggestion.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was taking credit, but the kid. The kid had what it called step stool.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Should I do a little ozempi?

[Yannis Pappas]

I don't know if I would look at you and go, you're a guy who needs Ozempi.

[Chris Distefano]

I just.

[Yannis Pappas]

You're just a guy who needs to put down the black and white and just do once a week or something. You can't do every day.

[Chris Distefano]

Sweets.

[Yannis Pappas]

You sweets are for birthday parties.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, they're for parties. Because I don't eat sweets ever. Unless there's a party.

[Chris Distefano]

Should I do maybe sweets? Should I try to just to just to wean off it? Say I could do sweets three days a week, and then we'll start to get it down.

[Yannis Pappas]

To get it down to two and one. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Three days a week is When I do sweets.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, but there should be no reason you're having. A grown man should be having sweets three times a week.

[Chris Distefano]

So I shouldn't have.

[Yannis Pappas]

The only people that do that are kids.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. What it is. So I shouldn't have had. I should have had my struggle with a bake. I should have had my daughter's birthday cake slices. 10 today.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, you didn't need that. No.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. What's up, honey?

[Yannis Pappas]

I smell.

[Chris Distefano]

But they're doing their nails. Oh, they're doing their nail polish. All right, let's get to the. Can you.

[Yannis Pappas]

Can you guys do my nails next?

[Chris Distefano]

You want to do Yanni's feet? All right, let's do the Patreon names. As always, you go to patreon.com history hyenas if you want to join the matriarchy. We read the best names of the newest members. You get a. You win, you go to history is Is back dot com. So you name them. Lights. The best things ever are happening, happening at the Patreon. Got extra bonus content. And we're adding more bonus content because we're doing an extra day a week. So go join. $5 gets you in. Get your name read. Here we go. My box is so patriotic. Call me Toby Queef. Welcome.

[Yannis Pappas]

Good one.

[Chris Distefano]

Jesse Carlton. Weekly prostate exam.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, this guy needs one every week. That's a Drex. Funny.

[Chris Distefano]

Can't wait to see Giannis in the Odyssey.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

John Gure.

[Yannis Pappas]

Cyclops.

[Chris Distefano]

Cyclops.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a nice one. Oh, good one, Drexler. Did you think Drexler.

[Chris Distefano]

Foley's back fat.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Tim Smith, 4487 Ladder 14. Make me flick my bean. Wei. Sean Sheen.

[Yannis Pappas]

Gotcha.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm not rich, but when Patel comes, I finally get cash out of my ass.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay, good one, Drexler.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got. I touched Epstein.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Hanukkah wrapping paper, AKA butcher paper. I'll get that one. Morny Hyman's Mogul Hemorrhoids.

[Yannis Pappas]

Mobile Hemorrhoids.

[Chris Distefano]

Mogul Hemorrhoids.

[Yannis Pappas]

Mogul Hemorrhoids.

[Chris Distefano]

Eastern Hemi. Underneath the bed wearing stockings.

[Yannis Pappas]

Put him on the list.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, wow.

[Yannis Pappas]

List. Yeah, yeah, Put on the list. Funny visual.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's. That's Yan. If he was an eastern hemi. Yeah. Dakota Burson's John Ford. Thought I found a cute Frisbee golf course in Palestine. Not what I was expecting.

[Yannis Pappas]

Drexler.

[Chris Distefano]

Decent fumes from my sweat and glue still. Okay. Matrism. Rachel Lush. Cody Bauer. Burnt. Not reaching the tissue box in time and wondering where the first shot landed.

[Yannis Pappas]

Contender. Yeah. Catapult.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes, honey. Yes, yes, yes. What thing is spilling? Oh, pick it up. Pick it up, Delilah. Pick it up. Okay. Put it up. Put it up on the counter. Violet.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's okay.

[Chris Distefano]

You got it. All right. Yeah. Yanni doesn't clean his apartment.

[Yannis Pappas]

No. This place has seen a lot worse.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, sorry about that.

[Yannis Pappas]

Actually a good place to have kids.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just like everything.

[Yannis Pappas]

Just do what you want.

[Chris Distefano]

Dakota Berzin, John Ford, Reese Minan, Alex Baldik. Thought I. Oh. Sorry. A lot lizard busted me balloon. Not a lot lizard busted my balloon. Not a lot lizard. A lot lizard is when you are a truck driver and you pull off to those parking lots and there's prostitutes. Oh. And a lot of them are gay.

[Yannis Pappas]

And what is that again?

[Chris Distefano]

A lot lizard busted my balloon. Not okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

Drexler.

[Chris Distefano]

It. Okay. Chris Tudor, George Peterson, Anthony Corello. Flat Earther. Because I believe in ice and water. Put them on.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, put them on. Yeah, but I think the first shot is clear.

[Chris Distefano]

Toby Tyler, Thomas Von de Boomgaard.

[Yannis Pappas]

Wondering where the first shot landed is hilarious.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. That Yappel dog Mondavi ate net and Yahoo's pet parakeet.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Taco belt my sushi. Mr. AZT. Penal codes OU812 too. Ari Shafir's illegitimate, illegitimate, half Jew love child. Justin Robertson, Kareem Harb, Christian McGinnis, the Donner Party. Hottest DP ever. Never them, but always them. Okay, then we got.

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, never them, but always them. I think it's a walked in one.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, I got.

[Chris Distefano]

I got that one just here for the content. Porter Kirsch. I want to sit between Yanni's eyes.

[Yannis Pappas]

You're gonna need a small seat.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's what it is. Proud dad of a Somali daycare grad. List. List.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay, let's go.

[Chris Distefano]

Yep.

[Yannis Pappas]

List. Contender.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So we got somebody. We got a race.

[Yannis Pappas]

Good rhyme scheme. Funny.

[Chris Distefano]

Nareem Ali, Octavio Valdovinos, Stephen Mitchell, Alex defoy. Farting my outfit. Clean off my body.

[Yannis Pappas]

Kids got some gas.

[Chris Distefano]

The bigger the fupa, the tasty the taster the chalupa. Slow ks.

[Yannis Pappas]

Very funny.

[Chris Distefano]

There's a sulfur smell coming from my basement. I think there might be. Yeah. Bin Laden's flight school valedictorian. Jason Capono's a shooter. There we go. Welcome. Matthew Darn. Daniel Smith.

[Yannis Pappas]

I bet you it's really him.

[Chris Distefano]

It probably really.

[Yannis Pappas]

How many J.C. kaponos are there?

[Chris Distefano]

UCLA.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, and they play for the heat, right?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. The cinnamon dinner finisher. Whipping my weasel to AOC. Goy slop and still raw from the Dr. Fauci Psyop. Okay, Hollywood and NYC Ken.

[Yannis Pappas]

These kids at the Internet are way in the Internet wild.

[Chris Distefano]

Can't wait for the spring so I can light up the grill and frisbee a brisket.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay, Walk in one.

[Chris Distefano]

Condone these. Yeah. Sean Battle, Jacob Ogle, James Drummond. Ordered carry out and all. I got my ordered carry out and Ally got my order Wong.

[Yannis Pappas]

List.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. List on the beam stream Incognito Latino.

[Yannis Pappas]

Ooh, good rhyme scheme.

[Chris Distefano]

Chicken finger Wepa Guero Palma, Frisbee weds a Leroy now our kids are net and yoos Decent, decent Moving the vegetables till I don't care She's a he.

[Yannis Pappas]

I like it, that's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

Drexler, Anthony Carroll, Don Bova, Cliff Hackney. Me Chinese me. No dumb me Hack. Credit card for the sub. Uhhuh. Toward a pounder.

[Yannis Pappas]

I like that he hacked the credit card to joy this. I like it, I like it.

[Chris Distefano]

Toward a pounder. Nubian Queen Crap cracker.

[Yannis Pappas]

Tom Queen cracker. All right.

[Chris Distefano]

Mom. Donnie's mom. Donnie Trump, 2028 Daniel Chavez, Sebastian Mar, Nathaniel Kindle, Sparker Nosferatu, Mongo. Go blue. My name is Albar. My name is Alberto. Don't call ice. I will do one more. Branded diamond alky Jewish glue. AKA Frisbee. A J. You picking up my son? Nephew from Somala Leroy daycare. Gary Guelker, Destiny Johnston, Catherine Perimeter. Catherine Parameter. Only glue guns fix my leaky roof. Nicholas McKenna. Ryan.

[Yannis Pappas]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Only glue guns fix my leaky roof. The kid needs some poles to feel sane.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

I like that one you want to.

[Chris Distefano]

Put on the list.

[Yannis Pappas]

I guess. Only glue guns fixed by these. Cuz it's a pun.

[Chris Distefano]

I get it.

[Yannis Pappas]

Cuz the glue gun seals the roof.

[Chris Distefano]

I get it.

[Yannis Pappas]

But he. What he's saying is he needs guys to feel safe.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

I like it. I'm going to Drexler it.

[Chris Distefano]

Great. Ryan Flanagan, Ghetto Gaggers, Miggy Omar, Medos Von Shingleman.

[Yannis Pappas]

Straight to the back. Welcome.

[Chris Distefano]

Yep. CG Combat Lane, Salah Leg. Who's the flyest piece of all time? Parakeet Papas Queen Cuckatelle. The Real Slim Shady, 14 Soul, gross. Leroy Elbow and Knee Cream LLC. Okay. Jesus Nava, Joe Rogan.

[Yannis Pappas]

Joe Rogan. Yeah. That's got to be out there though.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. 100 Andrew McMahon. Cuz he was. He married a muzzy. Now I don't see her at Christmas anymore.

[Yannis Pappas]

Drexler.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Jtg. Straight to the B.

[Yannis Pappas]

Welcome.

[Chris Distefano]

Kevin Garner. Nizar Altahani. Oscar Alderkruits. Tight yet moist.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Leroy Spankins. Aaron Bosselletti. Leroy. Two in the pink in Leroy. Two in the pink. One in. One in the stinkins. Okay. Aldo Loblo Acor. Dan Sheehan. Alejandro Gonzalez. Dustin Heath. And last but not least, I got probed by an alien. His name was Jose.

[Yannis Pappas]

List? Yeah, last one. I don't know if we've ever had one where the last one made the list.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, very good one.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. There's just one more page left, Jess.

[Yannis Pappas]

But.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. Sorry. All right, here we go. So here's the list.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Are you ready?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Ordered, Carry out. And Ally got my order. Wong.

[Yannis Pappas]

Got to keep it around.

[Chris Distefano]

Proud dad of a Somali daycare grand. Brad.

[Yannis Pappas]

Gotta keep it around.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. Not reacting. Not reaching the tissue box in time and wondering where the first.

[Yannis Pappas]

Gotta keep it around. I think we got a four off.

[Chris Distefano]

Flat Earther. Because I believe in ice and walls.

[Yannis Pappas]

That one's. We're gonna Drexler.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

Any other day.

[Chris Distefano]

Eastern Hemi. Underneath the bed. Wearing stockings.

[Yannis Pappas]

Chicken finger.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

We got a four off.

[Chris Distefano]

I got probed by an alien. His name was Jose.

[Yannis Pappas]

We got a four off.

[Chris Distefano]

Got a four off.

[Yannis Pappas]

We got a four off. We got a good old four off.

[Chris Distefano]

All right.

[Yannis Pappas]

What you call the semifinals? It's called the Final Four.

[Chris Distefano]

Final Four. Here we go. Yeah. So it is between folks. It is between.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's between ranked opponents.

[Chris Distefano]

Proud dad of a Somalian.

[Yannis Pappas]

No upsets.

[Chris Distefano]

Proud dad of a Somalian daycare grad. Ordered carry out. And Ally got my order. Wong. Not reaching the tissue box in time and wondering where the first shot landed. And. Wait, what was the other one?

[Yannis Pappas]

The alien probe. Alien probe.

[Chris Distefano]

And I got pro by an alien. His name was Jose.

[Yannis Pappas]

I. I really need to be honest here. I want all four of them. I cannot pick one of those four. This is a four off. Where I feel like they're all equal as far as Good. I don't know how to do this.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay?

[Yannis Pappas]

I. There's not one I like more than the other. I like all four the same. I don't know what to do. This is Sophie's Choice.

[Chris Distefano]

The only way that we can really do this is we're gonna have to get the kids involved.

[Yannis Pappas]

We're gonna have to ask your kids. All right.

[Chris Distefano]

Delilah. Delilah likes you. Like alien. So, Delilah, you're saying the winner is. I got probed by an alien. His name was Jose. Violet. Okay. Violet. Which Ones do you like? Likes the princess, proud dad of a Somali daycare grad. Ordered carry out. And Ali got my order Wong. I got probed by an alien. His name was Jose. Or not reaching the tissue box in time and wondering where the first shot land landed. What do we think?

[Yannis Pappas]

She's feeding the dog.

[Chris Distefano]

What do you think? Is there one that stuck out to you? Stuck out to you, honey. Okay, princess one. So I'm gonna say that you mean Jose. Jesse, what do you like?

[Yannis Pappas]

Oh, God. The tell me is honestly. That's it. This is one is where it's all four the same.

[Chris Distefano]

Incredible.

[Yannis Pappas]

To me, it's a two off.

[Chris Distefano]

It's the tissue and it's the alien probe.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, those are the two. So we're gonna drexel Ollie Wong.

[Chris Distefano]

We'll drexer Ali Wong, and then we're Drexling.

[Yannis Pappas]

Also we're Drexeling Somali daycare.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Good choice, Jesse. I agree. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So it's between not reaching the tissue box in time and wondering where the first shot landed. Or I got probably an alien. His name was Jose. I think if the kids want the alien. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Should we go alien?

[Chris Distefano]

Let's go alien.

[Yannis Pappas]

The tissue box. Dude, I'm telling you, you. You deserve this. But it is what it is. Sometimes you got to flip. Sometimes you got to flip a nick the stick.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is. And also because the family is in the room, we're doing a family friendly show.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a family friendly show.

[Chris Distefano]

A family friendly Patreon name. I got pro by an alien. His name was Jose.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Nateland. Nateland Entertainment presents the ppw.

[Chris Distefano]

Ppw.

[Yannis Pappas]

The family friendly one is the probe.

[Chris Distefano]

Congrats. You're the winner. Go to patreon.com history hyenas. We got new episodes coming out. Much more content coming out there. That's the place to have the most fun. See your name lights at history hyenas is back.com and we got episodes coming out on YouTube every Thursday at 3:00pm Eastern. So like and subscribe. Tell all your friends we love you.