From Belgium to Wall Street: The Dirty Birth of the Stock Market

Summary

Podcast Summary: History Hyenas with Chris DiStefano and Yannis Papas

Episode Title: From Belgium to Wall Street: The Dirty Birth of the Stock Market
Release Date: May 8, 2025

In this episode of History Hyenas, comedians Chris DiStefano and Yannis Papas delve into the tumultuous and often unscrupulous origins of the stock market, tracing its evolution from early European beginnings to the establishment of the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE). Blending their signature humor with historical insights, the hosts provide an engaging exploration of financial history, highlighting key events, figures, and the systemic issues that shaped modern capitalism.

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1. Origins of the Stock Market in Antwerp (00:35 - 10:27)

Chris and Yannis kick off the episode by discussing the stock market's early roots in Antwerp, Belgium, during the 1500s. They explain how merchants would invest in ship expeditions, sharing the risks and potential profits through a rudimentary form of stock trading. Chris humorously connects ancient financial practices to modern concepts, stating, “Here, take 1% of my money,” illustrating the basic principles of investment and profit sharing.

Notable Quote:
Chris DiStefano (10:27): “Antwerp, Belgium was home of one of the world's first true stock exchanges. Merchants met at the burse to trade commodities, debts, and bills of exchange, making it a precursor to the modern stock market.”

2. Transition to New York and the Buttonwood Agreement (10:28 - 32:00)

The conversation shifts to the establishment of the NYSE and the pivotal Buttonwood Agreement of 1792. Chris introduces the agreement as a foundational document that standardized trading practices, ensuring uniform prices and creating a central marketplace. They highlight the significant involvement of Sephardic Jews among the original signatories, acknowledging the Jewish community's role in supporting the revolutionary cause and shaping post-revolutionary New York.

Notable Quote:
Yannis Papas (30:04): “If you want to break it down, it's a way to raise money from the people. It’s almost like a private way to collect taxes.”

3. The Panic of 1792 and Alexander Hamilton's Intervention (32:01 - 41:44)

Chris outlines the financial chaos leading to the Panic of 1792, triggered by market manipulation and the failed efforts of William Duer to corner the market. This panic underscored the need for regulation, leading Alexander Hamilton to intervene by having the Bank of the United States purchase government securities, thereby restoring investor confidence and stabilizing the market.

Notable Quote:
Chris DiStefano (36:48): “Alexander Hamilton came in and said, we got to loosen up the credit. We want to put faith back in the market.”

4. Growth, Regulation, and Key Figures: Hetty Green and the SEC (41:45 - 65:09)

The hosts transition to the 20th century, discussing how the NYSE became a central hub for global capital concentration. They introduce Hetty Green, dubbed the "Witch of Wall Street," as a pioneering woman investor who amassed substantial wealth through disciplined investing in railroads and real estate. The narrative then moves to the Great Depression, highlighting how unregulated markets led to financial ruin and the subsequent establishment of the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) under FDR’s New Deal to enforce transparency and curb corruption.

Notable Quote:
Yannis Papas (55:16): “Hetty Green built her fortune largely through her own investing acumen, especially in real estate, railroads, and government bonds.”

5. Modern Parallels: NFTs and Market Manipulation (65:10 - 74:33)

Chris and Yannis draw parallels between historical market manipulation and contemporary phenomena like NFTs and influencer-driven pump-and-dump schemes. They illustrate how market manipulation persists, whether through insider trading or digital assets, emphasizing the ongoing challenges in maintaining fair and transparent markets.

Notable Quote:
Yannis Papas (66:28): “They create the value because they're buying it and talking about it. They're influencers, so they create the value.”

6. Interactive Segments and Humor (74:34 - 89:36)

Interspersed with historical discussion, the hosts engage in humorous segments, including creating and reading out fictional and comedic names submitted by listeners. While these segments add levity to the episode, they occasionally sidetrack from the main narrative, reflecting the podcast’s blend of education and comedy.

Notable Quote:
Chris DiStefano (88:52): “I drew a swastika on my Tesla before it was cool. That was bad.”

7. Conclusion and Reflections (89:37 - End)

Concluding the episode, Chris and Yannis reflect on the inherent corruptibility within the stock market system, stressing the importance of regulation and investor awareness. They advocate for transparency and ethical practices, recognizing that while the market has evolved, the fundamental issues of manipulation and unequal access persist.

Notable Quote:
Yannis Papas (73:12): “The stock market is almost an impossible thing to not be corrupt in some small way because all you got to know is a little insider information.”

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Final Thoughts:

From Belgium to Wall Street: The Dirty Birth of the Stock Market offers a comprehensive yet entertaining journey through the early and often shady developments of the financial markets. Chris DiStefano and Yannis Papas successfully intertwine historical facts with their comedic flair, making complex financial concepts accessible and engaging for listeners. By highlighting key events like the Buttonwood Agreement, the Panic of 1792, and the establishment of the SEC, the hosts provide valuable insights into how the stock market's foundational practices continue to influence modern financial systems.

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Additional Resources:

For listeners interested in deeper engagement, Chris and Yannis promote their exclusive Patreon community, offering bonus content, interactive series, and special episodes. Prospective members can join to access in-depth discussions, community interactions, and support the duo’s continued exploration of history through humor.

Transcript

[Chris DiStefano]

What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm Chris DiStefano, aka Chrissy. Too much coffees with me, as always. Giannis Papas, AKA Yanni Lo Doe, AKA.

[Giannis Papas]

Yanni with a little egg white caught between his teeth.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. Cause handsome Yanni Tanyani. Five o' clock shadow. Yanni.

[Giannis Papas]

Yes. Sometimes I'm five o' clock shadow. Sometimes I'm just. I age 10 to 15 years when I have that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Then I de age what I don't have.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because you're always five o' clock. Today you're handsome, you're 5pm, but sometimes come in wild. You're 5am yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Sometimes the hair's all over the place. Sergio says I look like a newborn baby bird.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. But so does Sergio.

[Giannis Papas]

Cuz. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, Sergio looks like a Puerto Rican egg.

[Giannis Papas]

Sergio.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

He looks like he's sitting on top of a fence and you want to push him over and say howdy dirty. But you want to say it in Spanish.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sergio's name is Humpty Dumpty and shit.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Humpty Dumpty. When I say Howdy Doody. But I was really trying to say.

[Chris DiStefano]

Humpty Dumpty because make no mistake, and the fans have been commenting it and I've been saying it for the last six months. You are Yanni. Sundown's big.

[Giannis Papas]

I'm sun baby. So sometimes I'm 5pm, sometimes I'm 5am but when does the sun go down in winter? About 5pm so that goes for my shadow. And also when I start saying things wrong.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because here's the thing with you is a lot when people are close to death, they're on the Runway. But when people are close to sundowning, they're on the ramp. They're on the wheelchair ramp.

[Giannis Papas]

On the wheelchair ramp is what it is. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

You're waiting for the nurse to push you down and take you for a little stroll.

[Giannis Papas]

Yes. And before we start, we wanted to talk about something. We want to talk about something that's very special and dear to our heart. That's our exclusive community.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Papas]

Where you can find lots of bonus content. We're doing new series now. We got a few of them. We got dad tips.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

We have Snowstorm.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yep. And we got exclusive bonus content [e-mail] history hyenas. We have now beefed up the $25 tier. We have a episode that we put once a month that is exclusive, exclusive, exclusive. We go Absolutely wild off the rails. And then we have our $5 tier which is audio only and our $10 tier which gets you audio and video. And we have been really leaning in folks like Yanni said, extra content, exclusive bonus content that only [e-mail] history hyenas. And as Yanni said, it is a community. Okay. People are talking over there, people are hanging over there. All it costs you is five bucks.

[Giannis Papas]

Cuz that's it. It's five crisps. That's it. A little bit of scratches my dad would say. We also got the political polling which is the on notice boys and Ladder 14 where the Democratic Party comes in and asks those two focus groups what they think about how the Democratic Party could re emerge and just trending issues get polled.

[Chris DiStefano]

And we have everything for everybody. If you are, if you are a Democrat and you hate Republicans, great. We have the on notice boys. If you're a Republican and you hate Democrats, great. We have the lot of 14 boys. If you're gay, great. Me and Yanni. If you're straight, Jesse. We have everybody covered at all things all basis [e-mail] history hyenas. If you're not a part of that, you are missing out.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, we're trying to make money off of both sides or whatever sides we can.

[Chris DiStefano]

So today's episode is going to be wild. We're talking about the stock market. You're going to want to stay tuned to the end because I'm going to tell you, me and John are going to tell you how Dr. Evil from Austin Powers is connected to the origination of the stock market and how the first initial New York Stock Exchange, the very foundation of the New York Stock Exchange did involve Jews.

[Giannis Papas]

If you are thinking about dipping a couple of toes into the market, you're going to want to listen to this episode. We're going to explain to you how the whole thing works from a couple of guys who are licensed series 7 stockbrokers. Basically we got approved by Warren Buffett. He's stepping down. We're taking over his. What's it called? Hathaway communities.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, and Hathaway. Berkshire.

[Giannis Papas]

Berkshire Hathaway.

[Chris DiStefano]

So we, we cannot legally of course give you any financial advice. So we are not series seven brokers. We are series seven bakers. Why we talk to you about baking muffins?

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Why do they, why do you have to say that legally about financial stuff but you don't have to say that about other stuff on the Internet because.

[Chris DiStefano]

The finance is run by. Wait a minute.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

And they'll just yell at you.

[Giannis Papas]

Well, that one's folded. Is it? It looks like a Robin Hood hat.

[Chris DiStefano]

This is different. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

How do these things stay on, by the way?

[Chris DiStefano]

Because do you ever. Sometimes I gotta be honest, this makes me hungry. I kind of just want to pull a chop meat in there and have a taco.

[Giannis Papas]

Do you want to go to.

[Chris DiStefano]

Do they have edible yamis?

[Giannis Papas]

Do you want to go to Central park and play a little. Open it.

[Chris DiStefano]

You love. We love our, our Jewish.

[Giannis Papas]

That's the thing. Because if you're a fan of ultimate Frisbee and you have a certain religion, you go there and you say, did someone bring the Frisbee? And they go, we forgot it. You just go like this and you go, well, we're in business.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's just what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

Because we're just in business. You're always in business for, for a game.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because. And here's the thing is you guys, I know some people might be like, oh, you guys make fun. You know, you're acting like you're putting on yarmulkers. You're talking about Jewish people, blah, blah, blah, like, you know, there's a war going on, you know, you know, there's a whole other side of this war. There's, there's Muslims and Middle Easterns. And I want to say that we also support Middle Eastern people. That's why I'm doing the show barefoot. So I do act. I'm muzzy as well as I walk around bare feet on the ruck.

[Giannis Papas]

And how could you say that? Because for the next 10 years of his career, Chris is going to be Jewish. He will present as Jewish 100%. And then for the next 10 years after that, he will present as Arab.

[Chris DiStefano]

And I've got some news from the doctor that I have very, very, very high cholesterol. So one cholesterol lowering food and my favorite cholesterol lowering food is Friends for the muzzies and it's hummus.

[Giannis Papas]

Hummus is very good for you.

[Chris DiStefano]

Lowers cholesterol. So that's how I support my Muslim brothers and sisters.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, that is, that's something. They got hummus. And you need to eat a lot of hummus if you live in the west bank or the Gaza Strip just to balance out that. Because the Israelis raise the cholesterol and then the hummus takes it right down.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is because. And listen, the stock market is very interesting to me. I just started really learning about the stock market, I would say about a year ago, a Year. When I was off the beam. When I was off the beam, really just kind of squandering, flailing in the wind. I did not know anything about stock market. I did not. I would just keep all my money in my. I have Chase, Chase bank account. And not understanding that it's getting no return. That's not helping you at all. That's just you're acting, you're acting like, you know, kind of a good for nothing. You're acting. And when I say good for nothing, I mean you're acting like what my mother used to say about my father, right? You just acting, right? So you can't. So I had to say to myself, how do I learn? How do I learn how to invest? How do I learn how to do this? And the bottom line is this, folks.

[Giannis Papas]

You went to Hebrew school.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what I did. Yes. Yes, it's what it did. I went to Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Not the hipster part, I went to the other part.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

And I started asking around.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, but it is one of those things where the stock market, I know people say it's legalized gambling and I do understand why they say that and where that comes from. But the truth of the matter is it is a nice little way to make money.

[Giannis Papas]

And it's available. It's available to everyone now. It's available to everyone now. It used to be sort of this den of thieves. A lot of insider trader, a lot of embezzlement. But now, you know, the government regulates it. It's there. Everyone could get their toes in the market. It's a lake that everyone can dip.

[Chris DiStefano]

Into because everyone could just go up to the market and go like that.

[Giannis Papas]

Just throw a couple toes in there. Can your toe get in the market? Yeah, the top one.

[Chris DiStefano]

The top one can't. Yeah. Cuz I call this one my ayatollah.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. You got only one toe. You can. You can literally one toe into the market.

[Chris DiStefano]

Unfortunately. See, I might see how this toe. See how this toe goes over that toe. Unfortunately, my beautiful three year old daughter has the. My feet and she's so beautiful. It is one of those things where it's. We talked about how Justin Timberlake. I'm sorry, David Beckham, how God doesn't give you everything. David Beckham is gorgeous, tatted up, multi billionaire, whatever. But his voice sounds like a squeak. Yeah, he's got a weird voice. My daughter is like, unfortunately, the truth of the matter is for me is my daughters are probably both just going to be smoke shows and there's Just nothing I can do about it. But at least they have these feet.

[Giannis Papas]

Both of them.

[Chris DiStefano]

It seems like both of them are going to be. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

That's really funny that. God did that.

[Chris DiStefano]

It did. Yeah. It's bad. They both kind of look like Jack.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. They're beautiful, beautiful girls. With your feet.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. I mean, cuz it's one of those things where people come up to me.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Almost on a daily basis when I'm out with them and just say I have to just tell you your girl, your daughters are gorgeous.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

And I'm just like, yeah, it's just what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

I hope.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

What you're just going to have to do is tell them. Just convince them that open toe sandals are not cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just tell them to go with pro kids or candies during the summer.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, I want them to go with open toe sandals. So they just don't. So I don't deal with.

[Giannis Papas]

God. That's right. That's another thing. We're gonna have to deal with guys at some point.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. It's just what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

That's what we're gonna have to do.

[Chris DiStefano]

So. But that's [e-mail] history hyenas we have girl dad, pro tips up there. So if you're a girl dad especially or a girl mom, go up there. We just posted some advice for you guys.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, that, that is up there as well as those other series. So check it out. Today we're gonna talk a little bit about the history of the stock market. Like we said, it started with the Greeks. As usual, the Greeks were the first ones that started going out on these ship expeditions. And what these shipbuilders were doing were going, hey, you invest a little bit in us, give us a little money.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

And then whatever spoils we get, you'll. You'll get it back. So that was like the first incarnation of what's going on. It's like we split, we spread the risk around, but then if it comes back with a lot of spoils, you get a lot of spoils. So people would throw up a little loot and say maybe they'll bring back some good spoil.

[Chris DiStefano]

Here's why I think the Greeks like sports is because they like to stretch. That's the stretch.

[Giannis Papas]

Because I think it's the truth.

[Chris DiStefano]

I think it's. No, because what the truth is is the stock market started in Antwerp, belgium in the 1500.

[Giannis Papas]

But I will find a way to link it back to something similar to it that started in Greece.

[Chris DiStefano]

And I Will find a way to link any topic to a waffle. So Antwerp, Belgium was home of one of the world's first true stock exchanges. In the 1500s, merchants met at the burrs b e urs, which I just see biz of Antwerp to trade commodities, debts and bills of exchange, making it a precursor to the moder stock market. Now I want to ask you cuz, what is a commodity?

[Giannis Papas]

A commodity because you're a hot commodity. Yeah, because a commodity, something that, you know, you, you can, you can get some value out of, it's a commodity. It's valuable. Yeah, yeah. When you say someone's a hot commodity, say it's valuable. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So yeah, so commodities, something valuable and then a debt. See the thing is with basically raw.

[Giannis Papas]

Materials, basic resources, agriculture, mining products, which are valuable.

[Chris DiStefano]

They're valuable. So oil, coffee, wheat. Yeah, these are commodities. And back then that was kind of like, almost like a bartering system. It's like it wasn't all about paper money. And they. Because they didn't even have crypto back then.

[Giannis Papas]

No, they had no crypto.

[Chris DiStefano]

They did it.

[Giannis Papas]

How come they never threw poo poo on the stock exchange?

[Chris DiStefano]

They should have.

[Giannis Papas]

It's a hot commodity.

[Chris DiStefano]

I was thinking the same thing.

[Giannis Papas]

It's a resource.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, you can really like if it's abundant, if it's a good year and there's a lot of toots, then the value goes down, right? But if the toots are, if you know, if like religion takes over and there's few toots, right. Then you know the value of the value is going to go up. Goes up, goes up.

[Chris DiStefano]

Now, now because here's the thing because is I got to be honest with you, is even still to this day, I've tried to read some books on, I've tried to understand the stock market. It's like these brokers and all that, what they do is they create another language, right? Because even the word commodities, that makes people go, what does that mean? I must know what that means. Here, take 1% of my money. But if just a quick Google search, you see if they said Antwerp to trade oils, coffees and value and goods, I'd be like, oh, that makes sense. But you say commodity now I'm like, I don't know what to do.

[Giannis Papas]

Exactly. Securities, you got bonds, you're like, what is all this stuff?

[Chris DiStefano]

Right? So, so why don't we, Jesse, if we can, can we pull up, can.

[Giannis Papas]

You pull up the translation from Yiddish to English?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes, Yiddish to English. And can you just pull up some stock Broker terms. What. And you know what they are and what they mean. If you just throw that into ChatGPT. Because I want to teach the fans here at History Hyenas. I want to. We are the ChatGPT. I want us to kind of be able to get through this together, because a lot of this stuff really is just that. It's smoke and mirrors.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, Right. It's the same thing as, like, pharmaceuticals. When they name their new pill some crazy pharma Bibotal. And you just want to go. Just call it a penis pill, or they call it zakalaka pop or escala tempadam. You just. Just call it a happy pill.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

Just call it. Just call it, like.

[Chris DiStefano]

Do you know what a moratorium is? If I say there's a more. You're a smart kid, so you will know.

[Giannis Papas]

I do know what a mortar.

[Chris DiStefano]

People will say there's a moratorium on something.

[Giannis Papas]

Just say we stop fighting. Just say pause. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Just say we paused it. Then people understand. But you want to say moratorium because you don't want me to know what that means and you want me to take the extra step.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

And say, now, what is a moratorium? Because you think I'm a morator on.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So just so I just know, if you're listening to this podcast, that we are here to teach you. We're going to do the work for you here. Because there's a lot of words that these elites use because they just want to keep you down so they could stay up. But we're here to break through that barrier, baby. That's why I'm wearing a Daryl Strawberry jersey. I'm ready to do coke.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. What they do is it's just a layer of bullshit. You got to peel back. Right. It happens when people want to keep something exclusive. It happens when they want to sell you some. It's like when you see a Red Bull commercial stop jumping out of a plane. Just market it correctly. Say, hey, did you used to do coke? And you don't want to do coke anymore.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

Did you have an alcohol problem and you don't anymore? Order a Red Bull.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

Who drinks Red Bull?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Even the word stock. Yeah, even the word stock. A lot of people like stock market. I don't even know what that means. All the stock really is is something that signifies ownership in a corporation. If they just say. If they just called it, you're an owner.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

You're an owner. We would get it.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Just the owner's Market.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, the owner's market. Right. Say you're a minority owner, right? Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So a common stock is a. See, even this, even in definition, common stock, a type of equity security that represents ownership and voting rights in the company. Even ChatGPT is trying to fuck us.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, it's just make it simple. Just call it a slither of company. That's what it. Ownership.

[Chris DiStefano]

Getting a little piece of it.

[Giannis Papas]

You're getting a little piece of action.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's all it is.

[Giannis Papas]

Just call it a toe wedding. Ownership piece.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Papas]

You got your toe in it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's just what it is. So I've equity the value of an investor's holdings in the account minus any borrowed funds. So now they're making me do math.

[Giannis Papas]

I don't even know what that means.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what I'm saying. So equity just means how much money. Like if you have equity in a home, how much money you've paid into the home by yourself versus how much money the. How much to have to know your equity in a home, you take out a mortgage, right? What's a mortgage? The bank's giving you money. Say your house is $100,000 and you took out an $80,000 mortgage. That means the bank gave you 80 grand.

[Giannis Papas]

Right.

[Chris DiStefano]

For the house.

[Giannis Papas]

Right. So.

[Chris DiStefano]

But you're paying little by little. When you pay your mortgage every month, you're paying a piece of the interest because the bank's charging you money for that 80 grand. And a piece goes to interest and a piece goes to the principal, which is the actual ownership of the house. That's your. So that'll be your equity, the mortgage, minus what principal you've paid.

[Giannis Papas]

So just call the bank what it is.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay. It's a loan shark. That's not Italian. That won't break your legs if you don't pay.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what. Instead of. Instead of the loan shark being Vinnie the Ear.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

The loan shark is JP Morgan.

[Giannis Papas]

Right.

[Chris DiStefano]

The same thing. Because.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, that's it.

[Chris DiStefano]

What they're saying is basically fudge. You pay me.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. They'll throw you out in the street, but they won't break your legs. And that's all there is to it.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what.

[Giannis Papas]

It's a difference.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what.

[Giannis Papas]

It's a legit loan show break.

[Chris DiStefano]

They break the legs of your credit.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

And they say, well, now you're in a little thing we like to call bankruptcy. A little thing called foreclose.

[Giannis Papas]

That's right. That's it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

No big deal. We're Breaking it down for you. Giving it to you in the colloquialism.

[Chris DiStefano]

Scroll down a little bit. A lot of people have also heard bull market versus bear market versus volatility. A lot of people don't know what that means.

[Giannis Papas]

I thought it was a gay market.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

I thought it was a niche. Gay bears and. And bulls.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

Because. Yeah, there's also. There's bears in the gay community.

[Chris DiStefano]

100%.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. And there's dolphins. They. They have no hair. Those are usually Chinese and.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

And Asian.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. That's why the very first time I went down to the stock exchange, when I traveled in for my very first excursion into the city from Ridgewood, which was a big deal. I remember very well. I, of course, just wanted to see. Because I had heard a lot about them. I wanted to see where the gay bars were. So I. I saw the bull with its balls out, and I thought, this is where the bars.

[Giannis Papas]

That's what I thought.

[Chris DiStefano]

But it turns out that the bull is there.

[Giannis Papas]

I thought it was to, like, invest in butt plugs and Rosie o' Donnell cruises.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right. That's.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, that's what I thought. That's what it is. That's what I was wrong.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. So bull market means a market condition where prices are. Are rising or expected to rise. A bear market is a market condition where prices are failing or expected to fall. And volatility is the degree of variation in a trading price over time. So volatility, you think about Bitcoin. Yeah, that's volatile. It's up, it's down, it's up, it's down. Bear market prices are falling. They're constantly falling and going down. So when it's a bear mark, like when it's a bull market versus a bear market, which one is better to invest in?

[Giannis Papas]

And you know why they started calling it that?

[Chris DiStefano]

Tell me.

[Giannis Papas]

Because the bears and the bulls used to fight, and the bear would duck down to bite, and they bull would just go forward.

[Chris DiStefano]

There it is.

[Giannis Papas]

So that's what it is.

[Chris DiStefano]

There it is.

[Giannis Papas]

And so that's the origin of that. Also. Did you know that Wall street was named Wall street because there was a wall there? Yes, by the settlers to keep the Indians out.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes, I did.

[Giannis Papas]

So that's why every time you. You hear Wall street, there used to be a nice, glorious big wall there.

[Chris DiStefano]

There.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. And then the Dutch. The Dutch had it up. And then when the British took over, the British knocked it down. That's one thing about New York City that you. That we always think about the British but the Dutch, really, we are New Yorkers because of the Dutch. We're. We're more Dutch than anything.

[Giannis Papas]

New Amsterdam.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it was originally called.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah. So something. We're jumping around a little bit, but Cincinnati brought up Wall Street. I want to talk to you about the Buttonwood agreement. Do you know about the Buttonwood agreement?

[Giannis Papas]

No, I know nothing about it. I'm going to guess that I should put my yarmulk on.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, throw it on. Sort of green. If you could pull up the bit I sent you about the Buttonwood agreement. So this is pretty interesting, because the thing is, you know, a lot of people talk about the Great Depressions and those stock market crashes, 2008, and they think these are new things because stock market's been crashing and all that for a long time. They have for a long time. There was a panic. I want to say it was 1789, they called it. There was this panic because basically it used to be the stock market. Used to be kind of. Everyone was allowed to do it.

[Giannis Papas]

Was it 1789?

[Chris DiStefano]

Can we pull it up? Because I want to.

[Giannis Papas]

Because I think the stock market started later than that.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, the stock market, I thought, started in the 1600s.

[Giannis Papas]

No, I thought that was in Amsterdam. Right, the stock in stock market.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh, we're talking about the. Yeah, right, the American stock market. Jess, I sent you a little membrane. I texted. So the first one was bigger.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, 1801 was in Brussels, but the first one was in Belgium in the 1500s. But then the first official stock exchange in Brussels, 1801. And then the United States was.

[Chris DiStefano]

When?

[Giannis Papas]

Later than that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right, The United States. We became a country, technically in 1789, after you won the war.

[Giannis Papas]

So when did we get our stock market going?

[Chris DiStefano]

So it. But just. Didn't I send you, like. More. There was like, a whole history of it. I. Is that all you got? Yeah. If you could send. Go back to the. To the text I sent you. So here we go. What? What, What? We were. We were looking for some info when Yanni was saying. But the stock market didn't happen till later, the 1800s. The truth is the beginnings of Wall street, specifically the New York Stock Exchange, there was. See, the problem was, the thing was, there were stock exchanges in Belgium. There was the London Stock Exchange, but because before modern technology, they weren't all really connected. Now we have a world stock exchange, but that's because we got computers.

[Giannis Papas]

Right.

[Chris DiStefano]

And we had. And tickers, which we'll get to. But this Is telegrams. And telegrams shout out Alexander Graham Bell.

[Giannis Papas]

Right.

[Chris DiStefano]

How does a phone work? How does my voice get to China so quick?

[Giannis Papas]

Dude, I don't understand it. I don't know. It bounces off something and goes into something. I don't get it.

[Chris DiStefano]

I think what they do is they actually. Your voice, your. What it's really doing. I think it's making like a mirror copy somehow through atomic particles. I think they're making it. They're shrinking your voice. They're basically making your voice into a squeak. And then it's sending through satellites and, and, and telephone poles.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. It's still so quick. It doesn't make sense to me. I don't know how. I don't even know how the fucking. The pictures in my tv. Yeah. I don't understand how that happens.

[Chris DiStefano]

I don't think anybody really does.

[Giannis Papas]

I don't think anybody really does. Except for like three dudes.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. I don't know what's going on. All I know is I'm watching the game and it's just. It's like watching magic.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

I don't know how it happened.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's just what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

Y. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So. Okay, so the beginnings of Wall street after evacuation day. Evacuation day was when the final. The Brits finally got out of our beautiful 13 colonies. They evacuated 11-25-17.

[Giannis Papas]

A few British guys snuck in who were good at voices. Like if you were good, like after the British loss, if guys could do accents and a guy could just pull off at a New York accent, he just stayed. He just stayed hung out because, like, they just look the same. Yeah, that probably happens a lot with. Nobody talks about those guys.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Right. When the Chinese and Japanese fight or people who look alike. Right. Germans and other Europeans, there's probably a couple of guys who could do accents. Good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

Like when the Nazis started taking over, there was probably some like Greek guy or French guy who was just like, hi, everybody. Hi. And then when they lost, he just started talking with the other accent. Basically what I'm saying is Sacha Baron Cohen could. Could probably like stay alive for a very long time.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because think about it back then. Think about it back then, you know. Do you really want to take a six month journey back to London to get like screamed up by your wife and all that? Like once you start a new family here.

[Giannis Papas]

Right, Exactly. Just start a new life there and you just blend in with the people.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

Because you. And you just got to talk that way the whole time.

[Chris DiStefano]

I want to do it. I want to do an episode too, in the future about. I read this story. I got to get his name and all that about this Japanese soldier that was, like, fighting on one of the islands. And then they never told him that the war ended. So the kid just kept fighting for another 15 years. Leaky roof. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

I also wonder that how did the message get out? Like, how did they measures get out? Like, the war was over. It took a while before they had phones and shit. Like, did a dude on a horse have to, like, ride the whole way?

[Chris DiStefano]

It sucks that the war probably ended and a couple of kids just got killed for no reason.

[Giannis Papas]

I bet you all those wars before phones and computers, like, they ended and. But, like, dudes kept fighting and they didn't know for three years.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

All right, I'm gonna tell you guys. We're gonna tell you guys all about the beginnings of Wall street right after this quick commercial break.

[Giannis Papas]

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[Chris DiStefano]

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[Chris DiStefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, and this is why I like this. I got. Everyone is into mental health now, and that's a good thing. But a lot of times the obstacle is like, oh, I got to make an appointment. I got to go somewhere. Now with modern technology and with Talkspace, you can just. All those, you know, things that you worry about are just gone. You just go right from your house. Text and video. It's just great.

[Chris DiStefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

Get yourself some space cuz you know me.

[Chris DiStefano]

I want to see everyone's rock hard penis.

[Giannis Papas]

That's what we got to walk around rock hard.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's why I like I'm so happy. Episode sponsored by bluechew. And here's the thing about. Here's the thing about hard Cox. I'll know if it's a bluechew boner or not. You know, And I only want to see those bluechew boners. I don't want to see any natty boners or boners by any other companies but Blue Chill.

[Giannis Papas]

Because you know what the great thing about bluechew boners are? What? They're made in the usa.

[Chris DiStefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

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[Chris DiStefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, because there's no reason not to be a trick tripod when you walk around, get that third leg.

[Chris DiStefano]

Cause it's just great. It's great. Now you can make life easier by getting harder. And discover your [e-mail] and we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try the first month of BlueChew for re. When you use promo code HYENAS just pay five dollar shipping. That's promo code H Y E N A S. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast and sponsoring our boners. So. So what happened was beginning Wall street. Where does it begin? As Yanni said, it's a wall right down on Wall Street. If you're ever in New York City, you should go down there. The Patriot army took over the City of New York, because it was being ruled by the dirty British. And Wall street became a fashionable commercial street. Alexander Hamilton, the kid, the Dominican himself. Alexander Hamilton, the first Dominican. He actually had his law office on Wall Street. People used to. Wall street was.

[Giannis Papas]

Was cute. Yeah. Wall street used to be very, very cute.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Now it's. It's still cute, but it's kind of like Wall street isn't on the stock market, isn't on Wall street anymore.

[Giannis Papas]

Now it's in midtown Wall there. And then they peaked over the wall and they saw all the Indians were gone.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

So they just took it down. They didn't need the wall anymore because they peaked over and they said, oh, they're all gone.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

They all got Covid. They had Covid back then for Indians. It's what it is.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Basically we took them out. Was covet.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

The COVID of the day.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

It's just what it is.

[Chris DiStefano]

Small box. Small. The original fentanyl.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So. So basically, you know, Alexander Hamilton starts. Alexander Hamilton had his. His bank of New York. Hamilton's bank of New York. And initially the US Government was not in good shape because economically we owed a lot of money to France. I mean, they bailed us out. You know, we have to pay all these war debts. And we were like, what are we going to do? So Alexander Hamilton came in, kid made a musical.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Alexander Hamilton came in and he said, what if we start selling, basically selling our war debts for like better prices and we start selling commodities and stocks and doing all that and basically trying to sell, get bonds, basically saying to the American people, hey, if you give us money, we'll give you back a percentage, but give us money, buy bonds from us. That's. That's how these countries work.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. It seems to me that the stock market, if you want to break it down and say what it really is, it's a way to raise money.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's all it is, a way to.

[Giannis Papas]

Raise money from the people. It's almost like, like a private way to collect taxes. But instead of getting the service back, like your garbage picked up.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

You get profit, you get money. Maybe.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Because that's another thing too, a bond. A lot of people don't know what a bond is. A bond is basically you just are buying. You're basically, basically loaning your money to the government. That's what it is in principle. And then the government is saying, like if they're returning 5%, say you get a bond, 10 year, whatever one year yield. Right. They. They can't just say return. They got to say yield, because I need to make that hard for you. So it's basically just, I'm buying a bond, I'll make it easy for 100 bucks from the US government. And they're saying if you just hold on, you don't sell that in a year from now, if it's a 5% yield, I'm going to give you 5% back on that Honda.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay. Now can I just ask Jesse a question? Because he's half a Frisbee. Yeah. So which basically means he was born, he was encoded in his DNA, that he understands this stuff a little better than us.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

But he's half a Frisbee. The other half is. He's a guido. So that means a dog chewed half the Frisbee off and he's half.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. So let me understand. This is the. Is the stock market, basically two markets. One where a company can raise a bunch of money real quick from people, and then the other one is for people to trade against each other on that company's value. It's basically those two things simultaneously. Right.

[C]

Wait, say the first one again.

[Giannis Papas]

So if you're a company, you go private. Right. So that means you go. I'm sorry, you go public. That's what I mean. So your company, you go public, you raise a bunch of money. Real. It's a way to raise a bunch of money from people buying ownership real quick. Right?

[C]

Yeah, they. They issue stock. Right. So and that's.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's actually a piece of stock, AKA ownership.

[C]

Ownership.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

So in exchange for that, they raise a bunch of money.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. So that's. That's one function of it. And then the other market is for people to trade with each other on the value of that ownership.

[C]

I wouldn't call that another market.

[Giannis Papas]

But it's almost like two. If you think about it, it's almost like two things happening simultaneously.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[C]

Because if the value of the stock goes up and then someone says, oh, I want a piece of that, and you're holding some of it, you say, I'll sell it to you, but the price is elevated.

[Giannis Papas]

But I'm. So I'm saying the market has two functions, one of which is for the company to raise a bunch of money. Yeah. And the other one is for people to trade with each other and try to get rich off the value of that market. Sure.

[C]

It's given people like us access to a company like, you know, if you buy Apple stock now you own some Apple.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. But they're not giving it. Altruistic thing. They're giving it because they're raising a bunch of money.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. They can use it to invest. Right. So if the stock price goes up, they have all this money in their stock. And remember, they own a bunch of their own stock so Apple can sell some stock and do so.

[Giannis Papas]

When the Dutch India company basically started the first stock market, they were doing it because they wanted to go all over the world and they needed a bunch of money to go get these resources everywhere. And so they were like, let's open it up to the people so you could raise a bunch of money to fund these expeditions.

[Chris DiStefano]

Part of it, yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

And then people got their ownership and then they traded with each other. And if the company did good, that they raised money for it, they traded with each other and made profit.

[Chris DiStefano]

Made profit, Boom.

[Giannis Papas]

That's. That's a simple explanation.

[Chris DiStefano]

Simple. What it is.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So what happens is, is after the revolution here, merchants began to gather at the Tontine Coffee House, which is around 100 Wall Street. So we're going to go to 100 Wall Street. Yanni and I have said after this episode, later on in the week or next week at patreon.com history hyenas, we're going to do a basically walk and talk and film it and basically go to these places and we're going to show you what we're talking about.

[Giannis Papas]

Right.

[Chris DiStefano]

And it's going to be dope.

[Giannis Papas]

It's going to be cute.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. So they went to 100 Wall street to trade US government securities, which again, which securities? And the stock of a few major banks. So securities meaning what again, Jesse, what does securities mean in this situation?

[C]

I forgot.

[Giannis Papas]

It's basically securities, basically, like financial instruments. Financial. It's ownership. It's a little bit of ownership.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right, but what's the swing? Securities and stock.

[Giannis Papas]

Securities and stocks. There. Hold on, wait. So securities are a little different. What?

[Chris DiStefano]

What? Yeah, I want to make sure that other fans know that we know.

[Giannis Papas]

Well, it's very complicated.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. What securities? Those are commodities.

[Giannis Papas]

So securities off the beam. So securities are financial instruments that represent some form of value and can be bought, sold, or traded. They are essentially a way to invest in a company, a government or a project. So there's equity securities. So an example of an equity security would be a stock that represents ownership in a company. Shareholders may earn dividends and capital gains and they often have voting rights, debts. Then there's debt securities, which example would be a bond. So stocks and Bonds are both securities.

[Chris DiStefano]

Got it.

[Giannis Papas]

So a bond would represent a loan made by the investor to a corporation or government. So basically, this is all just a way for them to get money for the people. And then they say, hey, you guys can make money on what you gave us if you trade with each other.

[Chris DiStefano]

Now, let me ask you this real quick.

[Giannis Papas]

Based on how good we do.

[Chris DiStefano]

Dividends versus capital gains, are those the same thing or those different.

[Giannis Papas]

You're asking questions that are too hard because.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because in my. Understand, I'm off to be. Yeah, dividends. Because capital gains, I understand, is you invest in something. You know, you put $100 in a stock, and then the stock goes up. Those are your capital gains gains. But then what's the dividends?

[C]

This I know. Dividends pay you. The company will pay you to hold the stock. So like, let's say a company like AT&T, which notoriously has a high dividend. So they say, if you're invested in our stock, we're gonna give you 5% a year to hold our stock.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay?

[C]

So it keeps.

[Giannis Papas]

They.

[C]

There's a way for them to share the profits.

[Chris DiStefano]

But capital gains only comes in when you sell.

[C]

That's when the stock goes up. So let's say you bought the stock at 100, and then it goes to 200. That difference is your capital gain.

[Giannis Papas]

Right. It's like it's a capital gains on real estate. So if you're. If your property. Capital gains. If your property value increases. Right. That you pay a tax on how much it increased.

[Chris DiStefano]

But so. So that's different than a dividend because obviously a house doesn't give you a dividend. A stock is the dividend. AT&T dividend is saying you bought the stock at 100. Even if it doesn't move up $1, you're still going to get 5%. You're still going to get 5 bucks on it at the end of the year just for holding it. Yeah, that's okay. Got done. All right. All right, Go. Let's go back.

[Giannis Papas]

We're learning with you here.

[Chris DiStefano]

I want to get to the. But this is the point of the show.

[Giannis Papas]

That's right.

[Chris DiStefano]

I want to get to the bottom of the agreement. I want to tell you how the Jews come in.

[Giannis Papas]

No, but this is good. So we can all gain an understanding of this, like language that people try to keep from us.

[Chris DiStefano]

Here it is. You know what I want to do? I want to call. I want to call our smartest listener, Dr. Luki Saigon, the baby's godfather, because he's a. He's a surgeon. I mean, he's an ER doctor. And the kid is just screwed and smart. I want to start asking him these questions.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, well, you first called him a surgeon. There's a big difference between an ER doctor.

[Chris DiStefano]

He's an ER surgeon.

[Giannis Papas]

He's shooted.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

There's a big difference. For a guy who could take your temperature and say, you got something to a guy who could go in and be a human mechanic, a doctor, a different school.

[Chris DiStefano]

Dr. Luki always lets go with the anal thermometer. I'm like, what the hell? I'm coming in to get. I'm coming in because I broke my toe. Yeah, I gotta check the temp. Yeah. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay, so don't call him up for heart surgery.

[Chris DiStefano]

No. Yeah. Okay. So here we go. So as I said, the tontine coffee house merchants would meet there, which is at 100 Wall street to trade the US Government securities and the stock of a few major banks, like the first bank of the United States, the New York Chartered bank in New York, all these, like, beginning banks. And then at first, trading in these securities was kind of chaotic and crazy. Brokers would charge different prices and commissions for these securities. And then some people would manipulate the market. You just had dirt bags everywhere. And there was no actual standard way to do this. It was just make up your own price. Oh, today it's $10, tomorrow it's 15. I don't know, just pay me. But then in 1792, a former U.S. treasury official, William Duer, D U E R. You've probably seen his name around some stuff, along with Alexander McComb, sought to corner the market in the bank of the United States Security. When their plan failed. And what happened is they defaulted on everything. They had this idea of, let's corner the market. Let's do this. Let's be premier dirtbags. And it failed miserably. And so many people lost money. Something happened called the Panic of 1792, and it caused a lot of financial distress. And this is when Alexander Hamilton came in and said, I'm going to make this crisis go away by having the bank of the United States buy US Government and bank securities and have all banks loosen up on their credit. So, Jesse, do you understand why he did that and what the thinking was there?

[C]

Yeah, kind of, I guess.

[Chris DiStefano]

What do you think? Take a shot.

[C]

I guess he wanted confidence in investors. Right? So, like, once you get burned, once there's a bubble, it's hard for people to. To put their money back into the market. So you Want to build confidence.

[Chris DiStefano]

So basically that's like when that's like nowadays now with the tariffs, something is interesting that's happening with the tariffs. If they keep on going, you eventually what's going to probably have to happen because people get nervous about the market is the interest rates. The house interest rates are going to have to come down because they want people pumping the money back in. The answer to this is always get the money in the economy. Unfortunately, the other way that the economy pumps big is what? War, War, war. People say war. What is it good for the economy?

[Giannis Papas]

It's good for the economy. Makes you nervous when, when you hear a bunch of we're going to war with Iran, you're going like, that will be good for the economy.

[Chris DiStefano]

You're saying, you're saying, hey, yeah, you know, do you want to get those mortgage rates down to pandemic levels? Then let's bomb Iran.

[Giannis Papas]

It's just always good for the economy. But yeah, it basically comes down to investor confidence. And that happened after the crash is nobody was had confidence. So that's why FDR had to come in and guys, we're going to regulate it and make it a little less corrupt.

[Chris DiStefano]

Cuz now FDR is a definition of a guy who was on the ramp.

[Giannis Papas]

He was on the ramp. He was in a wheelchair with this. He was probably on the beam because then he fixed it.

[Chris DiStefano]

You're one of the rare guys that's on the ramp on the beam. That takes a lot of balance.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, it takes a lot of balance. I do, yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

You're sundowning in a wheelchair on the beam.

[Giannis Papas]

You know one of those guys, you know the guys who balance on the beam with the tricycle? That's me.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's you, yeah. Okay, so. So let me catch you up real quick. So we have this crisis, the panic of 1792, because we said these banks defaulted. Alexander Hamilton comes in, says, we got to loosen up the credit. We want to put faith back in the market. So 24 of New York's leading merchants met secretly at Corey's hotel, C O R R E S, which Yanni and I are going to find. And they wanted to basically come up with something. And this thing that they came up with is known as the Buttonwood Agreement. If you know the stock market, if you're a stock broker, if you're heavy into investing, you've probably heard of the Buttonwood Agreement. Jesse, you're a stock. Have you heard of the Buttonwood Agreement?

[Giannis Papas]

Wow.

[Chris DiStefano]

So even JJ, Jesse the Jew has heard, hasn't Heard of buttonwood agreement? What it is is it's a founding document of the New York Stock Exchange and one of the most important financial documents in U.S. history. So it's said to have been signed 5-17-1792 near a buttonwood tree in American sycamore tree at what is today 68 Wall street so Yanni and I will be going to 68 Wall street with a buttonwood tree that we're going to buy off AM and we're going to go and we're going to have our own little agreement. And what happened was, is the signatories to the agreement, the signers basically to the agreement, they said to bring all the transactions in certain listed securities to one central place where there would be uniform prices, meaning the same price, no BS for each security traded. And furthermore, provided they would only deal with one another in trading these securities and not letting anyone else in, it's just these people. And that rule, believe it or not, actually stayed till 1975. It wasn't until 1975 that the new York Stock Exchange started letting everybody really get a piece of the pie. You had to be this, you had to be kind of that for us by us mentality for close to 200 years. Now here's what happened. This, this agreement created a central market for these listed securities trading at a fixed price and open to all members of the exchange. It also gave the members of exchange a monopoly in trading on these securities and it created a central auction market in which the city's major brokers participated in most of the transactions in these securities. Now here's the thing, all that to say for it's interesting and this is ChatGPT saying it's interesting, not us, it's interesting. It says that six of the original 24 signatories on the button root agreement were Sephardic Jews including Benjamin Sykesis relative of Sharif Israel, Rabbi Jasam Mendy Sykesis Isaac Gomez. That's wild that Gomez was a Jewish name back then. Alexander Zant and Ephraim Hart. So the Jewish community, they're bringing this up to say the Jewish community had strongly supported the revolutionary cause and continued to do so in post revolution New York. So that's one thing that I want to say thank you to our Jewish brothers and sisters for is you supported the boys when we needed to fight against Britain. You were there for us and now we're here for you, babe.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. And six out of 24 is not a lot, right? And also this was a good thing right at the time, 100% yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So basically, in the 20th century, the central auction market, they created an entity where companies could efficiently raise capital for their various business purposes. Exactly what Yanni was saying.

[Giannis Papas]

That's basically what they were doing.

[Chris DiStefano]

They were basically, you have a company, you come here to this Buttonwood agreement, early New York Stock Exchange, and you say, let's raise money. Let's get people stocks to own it. And then, boom, we're all making money. And as a result, by the 20th century, the new York Stock Exchange on Wall street will become the repository of the largest concentration of capital in the world.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So we have New York Stock Exchange still to this day, has the large concentration of capital in the world.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. It's basically a simple way. A simple way to understand this is a company goes, hey, people, loan us a bunch of money, but it's not a loan because we're not paying you back. But you're investing in us. What's investing mean? In the future, we're going to do good, Right. So give us a bunch of money. So they're getting a little bit of money from a lot of people. Right. Like we do at patreon.com history ienas.

[Chris DiStefano]

We'Re a stock market.

[Giannis Papas]

We're a stock market.

[Chris DiStefano]

Invest with us.

[Giannis Papas]

You're investing in us, knowing that we're going to give you amazing future returns in content.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. We're three so far. We're three Sephardic Jews.

[Giannis Papas]

Three Sephardic Jews. You're gonna get a cool fact. You can say, I'm part of a community. It's cool. And plus, you know, the future context is gonna be amazing. So you're invested in us, and as our show grows, you get a little piece of it. The only thing is, you can't trade it with each other and become rich from it. You can just laugh.

[Chris DiStefano]

You can just laugh. And that's why I think we should have our members sign a little thing we call the Take it Up, the Buttonwood Agreement.

[Giannis Papas]

But if. If you're a company and you want to spread risk around, this is a brilliant idea. And that's how it came to be.

[Chris DiStefano]

Bang toots with no condom. That's what you do, spread risk.

[Giannis Papas]

But that's the stock market. It's a very simple way to understand it is your company and you want to spread risk around. Right. Like you're the Dutch India company that founded the stock market. 1603. Right. You go like, all right, we want to grow, we want to grow. But in order to grow, we need a lot of Money to fund these expeditions, to go steal these resources from these third world countries. That's what it is. So we're going to get a little bit of money from a lot of people and if we're successful, right, the value of those little pieces that you got is going to go up in the eyes of other people who want to buy in. Yeah, you can get rich too. Just give us the money now. We need it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yanni's going to tell raising a bunch of money. Yani's going to tell us all about the Dutch India company and the richest woman in the world who invested in the stock market. Right after this break.

[Giannis Papas]

I want to personally thank Mando for sponsoring this podcast because I found out about Mando when they sponsored us, they sent us Mando and I've been using it ever since. I got it on right now. The thing about deodorants is you want something that's organic, you want something that doesn't have a lot of bad things in it for you. And Mando works.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Cuz it's bacon soda free, it's paraben free and it makes your ball smell nice. You can throw that puppy on your balls.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. The best thing is you got deodorants. You got body deodorants. It just makes you smell like a man. It makes you smell good. I use it. I use our promo code. I keep buying it. It's great. It is clinically proven to block odor all day, control odor for up to 72 hours, no more fumes.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because the other day I was sitting in the dog park just by myself. You know, I have a dog. And all the dogs started coming up to me and licking my balls and somebody was like, do you have peanut butter in your nuts? I said no, I got manned up. Yeah, look.

[Giannis Papas]

And if you don't have time for a shower, shower. It's clinically proven to control odor better than a shower with soap alone. So you go and you shower up and then you hit yourself with Mando. It's a one, two punch of no fumare.

[Chris DiStefano]

And right now, new customers get five dollar off a starter pack with our exclusive code and link. Use code [e-mail] that's S-H-O-P M A N--O dot com. Get a nice little discount on that starter pack.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Mando starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant. Two free products of your choice like Mini Bo body wash and deodorant. Wipes and free shipping as a special offer for listeners. New customers. Get $5 off a starter pack with our exclusive code that equates to over 40 off your starter pack. Use code HYENAS. H Y E N A S shopmando.com that is S-H-O-P-M-A-N-O.com Please support our show. Tell them we sent you smell fresher, stay drier and boost your confidence. Confidence from head to toe with Mando. Yeah. So basically the Dutch India company is responsible for the modern stock market. Then America, when it became an industrial tycoon, is really responsible for the modern stock market as we know it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Cause you're a tycoon of cute. A ty cute.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, we're a ty cutes over here. We're two ty cutes.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

And you know, all the companies, railroads, all the industrialization that America experience, the stock market was really a way for these companies to raise a lot of capital in order to make us the juggernaut that we were and that we still are.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, we're number one.

[Giannis Papas]

We're still number one or two, depending on.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, nobody knows any of your Chinese numbers.

[Giannis Papas]

We don't know the numbers that we don't know.

[Chris DiStefano]

These Chinese, what kind of number system do they use?

[Giannis Papas]

I think Elon Musk said we may.

[Chris DiStefano]

Be number two already because Chinese got the best numbers.

[Giannis Papas]

Who knows? I mean, you look at their cities and their, their built.

[Chris DiStefano]

Built up, right.

[Giannis Papas]

So but you know, when our stock market crashed a lot, some of the reason for that was the building contracts when we built it up.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

So we were done. It was like, you know, it slowed down. There was buildings everywhere. And we're like, you know, we got to the point where we had sort of maxed out.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

So that was part of the reason that people like, there was just nothing else to build.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

So they may be there. They're still building up. So who knows? Everything, everything, you know, rises, peaks, and then recedes. Are we at the point where we're receding? I don't know. Yeah, you know, we're building up digitally. I think it's a new. I think that's the new thing to push capitalism forward is going to be technology, AI, just like railroads and real estate pushed that era, pushed the stock market and the economy up during the industrial area. So. So interesting things happened, right? Interesting things happened that made the stock market grow, made the stock market more accessible to everybody. And with every, like, with everything, it's technological Advancements. Right, right. We're on the Internet now. And our. Our whole business has changed because of technology. Right. And it used to be the radio was big and then everyone was on the radio, and then the TV came. Came out and then everything was on the tv and then cable came out, and then everything was on cable and then the Internet. Same thing with the stock market. And it all started with a little invention we like to call the telegraph. Yeah. And that was in 1844. Now, what the telegraph did, there used to be little markets all over the place. There was. Albany had. All the cities had their own little stock markets. But then the telegraph made it easy to, you know, transmit information real quick. So that just rendered all of those little markets in other cities.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

Irrelevant. And New York became central command.

[Chris DiStefano]

Central command. The telegraph, it made long distance communication possible, allowed brokers to relay info about trades and stock prices more quickly. So it is fun how, like as soon as the telegraph was invented, immediately the money people got involved and said, we're going to get our money faster.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, we're going to get our money faster. And there's no need for you to have a market in Albany or wherever else. It's all happening in New York. So that's what made New York the central spot for the stock market. And then came the ticker, which made it possible to find out the numbers immediately. Immediately, as quick as it could be. Then.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, and it kind of connected globally because there was also the. I didn't. This is crazy. The transatlantic cable was built in 1866. So that transatlantic cable, I think, is a cable at the bottom of the ocean floor. So how did they do that in 18? They just have kids diving down there in those onesies, those pinstripe onesies with the hairline, Coney island style.

[Giannis Papas]

That's what really helps, to have just a bunch of people who are not rich, who are willing to do work, to try to get a little piece of the pie.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. So what, you have what also? So you have to transfer something called immigrants. I was going to say you have the transatlantic cable on the ocean floor. You also have the skeletons of Irish, Italian and Chinese immigrants.

[Giannis Papas]

That's just.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what also.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, it's just part of what the deal is. I mean, the Brooklyn Bridge was not built by wasps.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, it just wasn't.

[Giannis Papas]

If you go down there, you're just going to see a lot of floating Irish. So.

[Chris DiStefano]

But can you. Jesse, like, is this saying the ships met in the middle of the Atlantic, join their cable section. Okay. And then sailed in opposite directions to lay the cable floor in the eighth. Okay, so they weren't diving, they were dropping it down with ships. Yeah, but how do you know? Like their ocean floor is all.

[Giannis Papas]

Cuz we're not engineers. It's magic. I don't know. I feel like a black kid watching a card trick when I'm hearing about this.

[Chris DiStefano]

I don't.

[Giannis Papas]

It's magic.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

It's just beyond my capabilities, dude.

[Chris DiStefano]

They started the first transatlantic telegraph cable got laid in 1858. And it consisted of seven copper wires. And the core was then wrapped with hemp. And then they did all that. Okay. Then the ships came out. The USS Niagara and another one to lay the cable.

[Giannis Papas]

And they did white people magic. It's just what it is.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, it's so simple sorcery. The ships just came in the middle and then they went opposite ways. It just started laying the cable and then it broke. Yeah. Because it just snapped.

[Giannis Papas]

It was basically a double dildo trick. They both met in the middle and they put the dildo between the asses and they pulled back.

[Chris DiStefano]

And then look at this. In 1865, they finally got it right. They laid a new cable and it was done by the SS US ship, the SS Great Eastern. Which is ak. The SS Great Eastern Hemi.

[Giannis Papas]

That's right.

[Chris DiStefano]

They just cave it and they nailed it.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. It was a giant steam ship.

[Chris DiStefano]

It was. Yeah. A giant stream ship.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, stream ship. That was used to like cable.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

And his second cable was laid. Laid. And it was. It created this permanent transatlantic telegraphic community.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, isn't it wild though, dude, that in. You know, this is what I always think about too with history. When we're like, oh, how could they build the pyramids? It's like, it's blowing my mind that 150 years ago they were able to lay pipe in the Atlantic Ocean. It's like, who knows what the hell they were doing 3,000 years ago.

[Giannis Papas]

Something.

[Chris DiStefano]

They did something.

[Giannis Papas]

Whether it was giants or aliens or just Egyptians or if you want to ask my opinions, I think it was early Greeks.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

That came in there.

[Chris DiStefano]

Probably was.

[Giannis Papas]

And figured it out somehow. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

But you get too much cholesterol.

[Giannis Papas]

So obviously the telephone and the printing press. When the Wall Street Journal came out, you know, they. They created a industrialized index that helped grow confidence in market. Market. So instead of these wild swings that people didn't understand about value, whether it's gone up, whether it's going down, they created an industrialized index which was just basically an average where they could say these are the trends, the general trends long term are going up or down. So people had a better understanding of.

[Chris DiStefano]

Forecast because even, even the telephone, I mean telephone operators was like a job. Everyone's mom used to be a telephone operator. Because they would have to be live switching calls to get them from state to state, country to country. Now you don't need that. No.

[Giannis Papas]

Now basically before the government came in and regulated Wall street, which you know that where that happened after the Great Depression, the Wall street had just had a reputation of just being a wild place where people were embezzling and stealing money and stockbrokers were using your money however they wanted and you know, trading it, losing it, doing whatever.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because you just call. The Great Depression for you is just a weekend without Zoloft.

[Giannis Papas]

That's just a weekend without Zoli.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. A weekend without your stool.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, I just need a stool. I, I, I, I, I'm not on Zoli. Who's on Zoli? I would like to try not on.

[Chris DiStefano]

Z. Yeah, what are you on? What's your, what's, what's your step stool called?

[Giannis Papas]

I want 5 mgs of Lex.

[Chris DiStefano]

Lex.

[Giannis Papas]

Just a nice tiny little, it gives me a little space.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's just what it is, cuz that's your step. That's what I write on the Patreon too. What's your step stool?

[Giannis Papas]

My therapist says that's not enough because like for. It's not, she calls it not a therapeutic those but for me it's just, it's training wheels. It's like I think that it's helping.

[Chris DiStefano]

And that's what it is, cuz and placebo is real five or tennis. Yeah, I'm gonna get on.

[Giannis Papas]

I need a little space because I'm.

[Chris DiStefano]

A bigger kid and my cholesterol's high.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, I think you would be a perfect candidate for a little step stool.

[Chris DiStefano]

A little step stool. Because let me remind you of one thing here, okay. And this is Chrissy Confucius coming at you live. A lot of us are acting like the onion truck tree which becomes old in nine weeks. An onion tree just becomes old. What we need to be more like is the olive tree which takes 100 years to blossom. Go slow, get on a low dose. Be the olive tree, not the onion tree.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. You know, there's this whole thing where people are upset. They, they don't like pharmaceuticals and stuff like that. And I get it, they can get greedy. But let's also not, let's not have a war against modern, modern medicine. I mean, you know, it's helpful. It could be very helpful. If you have a blood pressure problem, you go on blood pressure medication. There's certain things that. It's very helpful.

[Chris DiStefano]

Just helps you out. It's just like when this war against fruit, it's like everyone says, don't eat fruit afternoon. It's like, well, should I have cookies instead? Fruits, better than cookies. Have some fruit. My cholesterol's high.

[Giannis Papas]

But ultimately, do what you want. You know, if you think magnesium is the thing for you.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

If you think vitamin C is going to do it, if you think oregano pills is going to do it, then whatever it is. Yeah. I mean, whatever. Whatever works for you.

[Chris DiStefano]

We're all pieces of the pot. We're all bees in the same hive.

[Giannis Papas]

We're all bees in the same hive. Whatever works for you, works. Works for you.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. The only thing that will overcome failure is determination. So just be determined.

[Giannis Papas]

That's exactly right. So when that happened.

[Chris DiStefano]

Cause you like to choke yourself a little bit.

[Giannis Papas]

There's. There's an interesting chick I want to talk about before we talk about the Great Depression to end this episode.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Papas]

Because that's what basically created the modern stock market was the government coming in, regulating it. And the start of the sec, which was founded by fda. And the first president of that was none other than Joseph Kennedy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

And he's a fucking crook.

[Chris DiStefano]

Before that, it was in the sec, Just so we know, not the Southeastern Conference where your favorite basketball team plays. We're talking about the sec, the securities and Exchanges Commission. So this is basically, this is basically the stock market police.

[Giannis Papas]

That's right.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's who they are.

[Giannis Papas]

That's exactly who they are.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Right. So an interesting person in history you may want to know, to know about is a little cheap chick we like to call Hetty Green. Now this chick was an interesting chick. She inherited a little money or whatever, but she was a little bit of a woman before her time. She dipped her toes, her painted toes into the market and she became the richest woman in the world just from investing.

[Chris DiStefano]

They called her the witch of Wall Street.

[Giannis Papas]

Called her the witch of Wall Street. And that's because they didn't like any woman who was doing good. Yeah, any woman who was doing good. They just called her a witch.

[Chris DiStefano]

She had self made wealth. Unlike many wealthy women of the era who inherited money or mar into wealth, Hetty built her fortune largely through her own investing acumen, especially in real estate, railroads and government bonds. Her fortune was estimated at 100 to 200 million, which is 2.8 to 5.6 billion today.

[Giannis Papas]

Yes, yes. So what she would do, one of her most famous investments was like the Chicago Railroad Company. That was like faltering. It was like, you know, on the verge of bankruptcy or whatever. But she bought a lot. She bought a lot and just waited because she did a lot of research. She was notorious to just do a lot of research.

[Chris DiStefano]

Even before.

[Giannis Papas]

Before Google. Yeah, even before Google. She'd do a lot of research and she just believed in this company. And then she bought a lot when it was down on its luck and the stock was cheap. And then it came roaring up and like, that was one of the examples of her modus operandi.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

We would get into these companies, but she knew that this was the industry of the future. Railroads. So she just got in hard. She got it. It was railroads and real estate at the time. And she just got in heavy. Yeah. It would be like getting an apple at the beginning. She just knew this is going to take over.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

And she was early and she became rich and she was a woman and they called her a witch because, like, she was thinking like a man and she had to have witchy powers.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. Maybe she was trans. We don't know.

[Giannis Papas]

We don't.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's possible.

[Giannis Papas]

She had the brain of a man.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes. And she lived with legendary frugality. Meaning frugal. Meaning she did not spend a lot of money. Now, what? Fascinated and Appalled the public, earning her the nickname the Witch of Wall Street. Her wealth and unique Persona made her enduring symbol of 19th century American capitalism. So we want to highlight Hetty Green here as a really boss female.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Who crushed it at a time when only men were crushing it. And she was. Goes down as one of the wealthiest female, of course, only second to Jeff Bezos, his ex wife, who also did it her own way.

[Giannis Papas]

That's another way to do it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Some ladies do it by investing the stock market. Some ladies do it by guzzling.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Shannon Sharp's only fan man's mistress is going to do it her way.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

Because then you become a millionaire, get.

[Chris DiStefano]

Mad at me and be like, no, it's because the market is only. It's designed for men. Tell that to Henny Green.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, you can do it. Yeah, you can do it. You can be done a little better.

[Chris DiStefano]

What do you want me to tell you this?

[Giannis Papas]

She's a feminist icon. We're highlighting a feminist icon.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's all we're doing.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. She Might have had a dick. We don't know.

[Chris DiStefano]

But it's possible.

[Giannis Papas]

It's possible. Yeah, she did it.

[Chris DiStefano]

But anyway, shout out to the witch of Wall Street.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. So after this period, the Hetty Green period, you know, you're talking about she died in 1916 or something like that.

[Chris DiStefano]

That.

[Giannis Papas]

Then Wall Street's just running wild. Railroads, J.P. morgan, all those guys people are pumping money in. Stockbrokers are made, like you said, setting their own prices, taking your money, trading it without you knowing about it. There's no regulation. And the market crashes.

[Chris DiStefano]

Boom.

[Giannis Papas]

We have the Dust bowl happen. Farming commodities slow up. Like I said, the real estate slows down because everything's already built up at this point. Point. And there's a panic, and people just start selling, selling, selling, selling, selling. And the market crashes, and we go through the Great Depression.

[Chris DiStefano]

1929.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, that's when that happened.

[Chris DiStefano]

And the only way we got out.

[Giannis Papas]

Of it was a little. Yeah, huh?

[Chris DiStefano]

We got out of it with war.

[Giannis Papas]

We got out of it with a little guy named fdr. And war.

[Chris DiStefano]

And war. I thought you're gonna say a little guy named Adolf Hitler.

[Giannis Papas]

Well, going to war with him definitely helped. Yeah, you know, it helped. There's a dirty little secret about that, too, that I hate admitting.

[Chris DiStefano]

What is it?

[Giannis Papas]

Not only is it an industrial buildup and you put people to work and you get your economy moving, but there's a little bit of a population slash. It's what. It's just what it is.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's not.

[Giannis Papas]

Happens.

[Chris DiStefano]

We don't like to think about it, but it's just.

[Giannis Papas]

Just there's a little. When there's a lot of people, there's a little less money to go around. And when there's less people, less people get more money.

[Chris DiStefano]

It just loosened up a little bit.

[Giannis Papas]

Loosened up a little. Hey, it was a little easier to get in law school.

[Chris DiStefano]

Hey, if there's a good chance. You're probably listening to this at your home at Levittown, Long island, you're welcome for World War II because you wouldn't have had a town without World War II.

[Giannis Papas]

There's just less competition. When there's less people, what it. Houses are cheaper, things happen. There's competition. It's just an unfortunate thing.

[Chris DiStefano]

We're not saying. We're not saying it's a good thing or a bad thing. We're just saying that we don't make up the rules, but we do play by that. We're just saying that there were less people on the road.

[Giannis Papas]

There was just less people.

[Chris DiStefano]

Congestion Pricing. I hate that you. You have to pay more money to get into the city that we love. I really do. But I get here a little quicker.

[Giannis Papas]

You get a little quicker.

[Chris DiStefano]

I get here a little quicker. So if I could. If you could just spare the nine bones. I just don't know what to tell you.

[Giannis Papas]

It doesn't really affect us. It helps us.

[Chris DiStefano]

It kind of helps us.

[Giannis Papas]

I'd gladly.

[Chris DiStefano]

I'd probably pay twice as much, you know, have less of you here.

[Giannis Papas]

It's like when you own a little property, you hear someone complaining about their landlord, you're just not on that side anymore. You go, why don't you just be a better tenant? Yeah, but then when you're a tenant, you say, these goddamn landlords. And you empathize, but then you get a little money, and then you just go, maybe. Maybe you should fucking pay your rent, you little piece of shit.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, just.

[Giannis Papas]

I don't know.

[Chris DiStefano]

Stop being a dirt bag.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, just stop being a useless eater. That's what it is.

[Chris DiStefano]

Of course you don't have anxiety. You're 40 years old, you still live with your parents, and all you care about is if the Mets win or lose. Why would you be nervous about anything?

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, anxiety. Probably just. Maybe it's just an emotion that comes with people who try to get something done.

[Chris DiStefano]

Anxiety.

[Giannis Papas]

Here's.

[Chris DiStefano]

I read a little study. Anxiety. People with anxiety tend today. A lot of doctors think now, or scientists think now, it's because they might have been. Had brains and be ancestors of people who were out hunting thousands of years ago. So we have the residual anxiety because we don't need it as much anymore. You need it when you're out on the plains hunting food, bringing back the village. And the people who don't have anxiety today, some of them may have come from people from. From ancestors who didn't really go out and hunt. They just ate what was brought to them. But Giannis and I, we have anxiety. We're a little bit of hunters, so of course, I get a little bit more nervous about things because I'm trying to. Things. Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Sometimes those things are things that you shouldn't be getting because. What? What do you mean? Because some of those things that you're hunting, right? In modern society.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. It's just. No bueno.

[Chris DiStefano]

No bueno.

[Giannis Papas]

No good. But back in the day, you probably would have started families in a lot of places.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, 100%. And so it's one of those things where it's like, if you're sitting here and judging people with no Anxiety, it's like, look, you know, I wouldn't be nervous either if I. If I was 40 years old and live with my parents, I wouldn't be nervous either if mom bringing me breakfast. And I was just saying, you know what? I take the bus to work.

[Giannis Papas]

Right.

[Chris DiStefano]

And I'm just okay with that. I don't want to take any job promotions because I can't mess up my schedule because Mets and Jets games and.

[Giannis Papas]

There'S nothing wrong with.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's not the road there. But just, of course you're not gonna have any anxiety.

[Giannis Papas]

That just makes sense.

[Chris DiStefano]

You can't do anything.

[Giannis Papas]

That's right. Anxiety comes with trying to do things. Yeah, yeah. So the Roaring twenties happened, and of course people were just over speculating, thinking the good times were gonna continue forever and stock price were just going to continue to go up indefinitely, and everyone was just borrowing money over speculating. And then stocks were priced far beyond their actual earning and value because everyone was just pumping money and go, we're making money. It was a big orgy. And then what comes after an orgy is a hangover.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

It was one big party and then there's a hangover. And there was no rules at the time to protect investors, to ensure transparency. So it all came crashing down. The art, like I said, the dust ball, the agriculture prices started falling. Consumer spending went down because they were buying too much.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yep.

[Giannis Papas]

And billions of dollars in stocks were wiped out within days. And people were like, what the fuck? So every. A lot of people were financially ruined, and people started jumping out of windows.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

That's what you call an escape exit.

[Chris DiStefano]

It was a run.

[Giannis Papas]

Taking an escape exit.

[Chris DiStefano]

There was a run on the banks, and it happened pretty recently in Greece when they just. The kids just ran out of ATM cash.

[Giannis Papas]

Just start panicking.

[Chris DiStefano]

They just. Greeks like to panic.

[Giannis Papas]

Everyone was panicking, going, oh, man, everything's falling. So everyone's just selling, selling, trying to recoup their money. And then a lot of people going, your money's gone.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's just what?

[Giannis Papas]

I spent it. Yeah, I spent your money investing it in these stocks because I was making commissions off it or whatever.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

So it's gone.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's gone. And the thing is, the Greeks can survive without cash. They can't survive without cigarettes. Right. So if there was a cigarette shortage, then you really would had a revolt.

[Giannis Papas]

Right, Right. So then you had banks closing. You had widespread poverty. You know, everyone was poor except for the people who was stealing all the money. It's what it is those people still had money. Yeah. So then FDR had to come in, he won his election saying, I'm going to do these things. He did them. He did the New Deal. He set up the sec. And that was the beginning of the sec. They regulated bank and they put these rules in. Hey, you got to be a little bit more scrupulous. Scrupulous?

[Chris DiStefano]

What is scrupulous mean?

[Giannis Papas]

You got to have morals.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Papas]

You can't just spend people's money without them knowing about it. You have to report. Companies had to report. Everyone had to report their earnings. Everything had to be transparent.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Papas]

And we're going to go after people who are embezzling, people who are insider trading, people who are doing all the bad things. So they went after the SEC. I think they indicted like 300 people.

[Chris DiStefano]

People.

[Giannis Papas]

But they couldn't convict any of them. But they did hang one guy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Did they actually hang him?

[Giannis Papas]

Hang him. But they got themselves a Harvey Weinstein.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

And guess who the first president of the SEC was. A little guy named Joseph Kennedy.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

Who himself was, according to some people, possibly a little untoward.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah, he was. He was a bit of a criminal.

[Giannis Papas]

Let me tell you about Joseph Kennedy. And Joseph Kennedy was the father of.

[Chris DiStefano]

Of Rob. Jfk.

[Giannis Papas]

That's right. Yeah. And as we know now, JFK probably stole the election with the health of the mafia, what it is.

[Chris DiStefano]

Might have got the kid clipped.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. You know, crime was just a bigger part of America back then.

[Chris DiStefano]

Just what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

Let me tell you a little something about Joseph Kennedy. Tell me. He made a fortune before the crash using a tactic known as pool operations, which was legal at the time, but totally manipulative. Which is ironic that he became. Became the president of the sec. He went from criminal to cop. So he formed a pool with other wealthy investors. They'd secretly buy up shares of a certain stock to drive up demand and create the illusion of momentum.

[Chris DiStefano]

Wow.

[Giannis Papas]

That's a little something. That's a little something you're saying? What is that? I'll give you a perfect example of that. Do you remember with, for some reason, like Logan, Paul and all these guys were just pumping NFTs.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Papas]

Saying, oh, this is the future. This is the future future. So that was a market they created.

[Chris DiStefano]

Sure.

[Giannis Papas]

So they create it. Right. It's a valueless, stupid thing.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

Right. But it was a way for them to get people to believe that this is gonna be the thing.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

Because they're buying it and talking about it. They're influencers. So they create the value.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right?

[Giannis Papas]

So everyone gets tricked into buying it to become rich.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right?

[Giannis Papas]

And then they sell.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right?

[Giannis Papas]

They sell when it's getting hot because they know it's.

[Chris DiStefano]

So that's illegal, though, right?

[Giannis Papas]

It was legal at the time.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

It's technically illegal. And that's why Huck 2 is. Went down.

[Chris DiStefano]

But she's not. But it's not. They're not getting arrested for it. They should be, but it's.

[Giannis Papas]

But they get fined.

[Chris DiStefano]

The crimes around crypto is. It's too. Right. We don't know. Like. Like. Because people could say the pump and dumps and all that, like, I tell you to go buy this.

[Giannis Papas]

Crypto polls, it's called.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what it's saying.

[Giannis Papas]

Loopholes.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because right now they're just going, oh.

[Giannis Papas]

I. I didn't know. I didn't know. It's. It's a hard thing to prove, but sometimes they prove it and they got. I think one of the Kardashians got smacked with 250 grand from the SEC. Fine.

[Chris DiStefano]

You gotta find.

[Giannis Papas]

You get fined. But it's not legal.

[Chris DiStefano]

Got.

[Giannis Papas]

It's not legal, right? Like, according to the sec, it's not legal. Yeah, it's highly immoral, if you want to say.

[Chris DiStefano]

Sure.

[Giannis Papas]

Right? So that's what you know. And. And if you have it, it's very easy if you have the platform, too. You could just. Just go, hey, this is the new thing. And then, you know, you change your profile to a cartoon gorilla, and everyone's like, oh, I got to get in these gorillas. And so everyone starts buying, and basically all these people start putting their money into it. Right? And obviously they have a lot less money than, like, a Paul brother or whatever. I'm not pointing my finger at the Paul. I'm just using them as an example. Right, Right. So they pour all their money into it, and then the value goes up. And the Paul brothers are the ones who owned a lot to begin with, and then they sell. Sell at the height of the increase, and they just make a boatload of money. So they're basically. It's a transfer of wealth.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what it is. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

I tricked you into believing this is valuable, and now I'm just. It's going to the poker table going, put all your chips in. Trust me. And then you're going, now the chips are mine.

[Chris DiStefano]

You should just post on your platform, here's my Zell. Yeah, it's just Zelda.

[Giannis Papas]

It's just a scab. It's what it is. And it worked big For a lot of people. And then we just dusted it under the rug.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

That was a moment in history. Was called NFTs.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Now they're worth just.

[Chris DiStefano]

They really are.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. At one point they were selling for millions of people. I remember even Steph Curry changed his profile to one. He bought one for millions of dollars. He was one of those people who probably just got hoodwinked into it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

And so a lot of money was transferred into that. So that's a. Basically exactly what. What Kennedy did.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

So they'd manipulate the market by secretly getting together with a group and buying a bunch of stock, which creates the illusion of momentum. So then other people go, oh, this must be. Be hot.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

They put all their money into it and it goes up, up, up. And then they just sell.

[Chris DiStefano]

Sell.

[Giannis Papas]

They just sell. So they would sell at the top.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

So that's what he did. And one of the stops. Stocks he played with was called the Libby Owens Ford, a glass company. He and his crew made big profits manipulating its price during the roaring twenties. So why did FDR pick him? Because he knew Kennedy had played the game and he wanted someone who. Who knew every dirty trick of the book. So it's basically. You ever watch the movie Catch Me if youf Can?

[Chris DiStefano]

Sure.

[Giannis Papas]

Remember, the guy was forging checks and the FBI hired him. FBI. FDR basically hired him because he goes, you're the best crook.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right?

[Giannis Papas]

You're the best crook. You've made the most money. You're the biggest piece of.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

So I need. You know what a piece of is. So I need you to catch other pieces of. I'm gonna give you one piece of a pass, and that's you because you're friends with the Mafia, and I don't want them to kill me.

[Chris DiStefano]

Here's two random fun facts that I know. You mentioned Harvey Weinstein. He went to J. John Bowne High School. You mentioned Frank Abergno Jr. From Catch Me if you Can. He went to Iona Prep High School.

[Giannis Papas]

There you go.

[Chris DiStefano]

Just wild.

[Giannis Papas]

There's a little thing.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

So then they said, we need a big fish. We need a big fish to fry to get confidence from the people back. Who are we going to do? We pick a little guy who happened to be the president of the stock exchange, and his name was Richard Whitney.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Now, he was a guy when FDR got into power, was like, we're going to regulate and clean up Wall Street Street. He was the guy going, the government. We don't need the government. The Government. Usually the guys who are saying that, especially during bad times, are guys who are benefiting from the government not being around. Yeah, yeah. But it is. So as it turns out, he was called the white knight of Wall Street. He served as president, New York Stock Exchange. So they went for the biggest fish, right? Right. And he was the, I think, the only one who was actually convicted. 300. So they just wanted to, you know, they were all friends, right? And they're going, somebody's gotta fall. Yeah, somebody's gotta fall. Here, let's just take the biggest fish.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

We can't. We can't put 300 people in jail because they're my friends, they're my boys. So I'm gonna just put one guy who was rude to my wife once. I'm gonna throw him in prison. What? It is just as a symbol, right? It's a symbol that I'm cleaning it up. So he, he gained national fame, right, during the crash when he attempted to stabilize the market by placing large conspicuous buy orders on blue chip stock stocks, notably, notably purchasing 25, 000 shares of US Steel at 205 each, well above market value. This bold move temporary calm the panic, bolstering his reputation as a stabilizing force in finance. So people initially like, oh, this is a good guy. But he was controlling markets, embezzling and all that stuff. And then it came out. It came out that he was a piece of shit. So by 38, 1938, suspicions about Whitney's financial practices led to an investigation revealing his company's insolvency and his fraudulent activities. And he was indicted on embezzlement charges by the New York County District Attorney, Thomas E. Dewey. We should do an episode on Dewey. He pleaded guilty and was sentenced to five to 10 years in Singson. He ended up serving three, and he was released. And I'm sure he served it in some fancy place and then he disappeared forever. But confidence in the stock market and, you know, the New Deal deal, people started investing again. They hung one guy, proverbially. Proverbially. And things went back to normal.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. Because.

[Giannis Papas]

So these guys were all crooks until FDR came in. And then a lot of people will argue that they still found ways to be crooks.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. Because money corrupts. If you took anything from the stock market episode today, you know that money corrupts. This is why I urge you to be more like the olive tree than the onion tree. Take a while. Be patience is a virtue. Patience Is for me, nature. Patience is from nature. Just look at the olive tree patient. The onion tree. That's why it makes you cry. And it's. And it stinks.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. And the olive tree comes from a region I like to call Greece.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's Greece. It's what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

And let me just say this at the end, that's why it's interesting. Because the stock market, it's almost an impossible thing to not be corrupt in some small way because all you got to know is a little insider information. That's what you got to do. But then, but then you get in trouble for insider information. People going, hey, hey, he's my friend. He told me, he told me a tip on what's going on. And you're going like, yeah, but that gives you an unfair advantage. And you go, well, that's life. It's. That's what Martha Stewart said. She wants to go. That's life. Yeah, that's what people say. I got good friends in high places. They told me some tips and I bought some stock. Life shit happened.

[Chris DiStefano]

Is a game of inches, okay? Leonardo DiCaprio is Leonard DiCaprio because he was an inch better than some guy you've never heard of that works for, for ups. Right now, it's a game of inches, advantages. This is what being a human being is.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. And you know what's funny is we're fucking yelling about all this shit. We're yelling about all this shit about the government, but the one fucking thing that should not be is fucking. If you are in the legislative or executive branch, you should not be allowed to own fucking stock.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, fucking you, Nancy Pelosi.

[Giannis Papas]

How much more of an insider could you be than the bodies that are finding out information and awarding contracts to certain companies before the people find out? And then you can have your husband go and put the money into stocks. I mean, what are we talking about?

[Chris DiStefano]

Scumbags. Yeah, yeah. For the people.

[Giannis Papas]

Power to the people. Occupy Wall Street.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. And by the way, because I started the episode where I told you a little nugget to stay to the end, how is Dr. Evil tied to the stock market? It's because the stock market was technically invented in Belgium and that's where Dr. Evil's from. And you know that if you watch.

[Giannis Papas]

The movies and that's the history hyenas. Well, you will. You will find out how the stock market is tied to a fictitious character.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what it is. Cuz now we're going to read the [e-mail] history hyenas. If you join the Patreon, you get your name read. We pick the best name, the best winner, and we put them up at History Hyenas is back Dot com. The ppw. The Pseudo Penis of the Week. All right, starting off our list today, Habanero Monkey. So they're saying they're Polish. Spanish kid.

[Giannis Papas]

I like that.

[Chris DiStefano]

I like that. Armando Mont Sanchez Cooney Hung.

[Giannis Papas]

Now that name probably coming via satellite from the other side of the border.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

What it is.

[Chris DiStefano]

Travis Miller. Christian Selenas. Tai from Fargo. Nice Dick, bro. Chicken finger.

[Giannis Papas]

Chicken figure.

[C]

Nice.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got. If Tim Dillon's ass was a Chinese restaurant, I'd have the Poo Poo plus ladder.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay, that's. Yeah, let's Drexel that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay, good one. Then we got Jabba the Slut.

[Giannis Papas]

Java the Slut. Really good. Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

Drexler. Andrika Nikolic. Cat. Laura Carmody. Viets John. Sauce Monkey. Faithful Cousin Fenincio. Nice.

[Giannis Papas]

Sauce Monkey award right there. He just gave himself it.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is, Josh. Then we got History Hy. Sheenas. Yes. Tom Segura's List Bomb. Walked into one. Can't do that.

[Giannis Papas]

But the walk into ones are so good. We walked into it.

[Chris DiStefano]

We gotta walked in, but. Well, you know, you're on the walked into one list. If we just say walked into one and then I put an extra your day. I took Ayahuasca, but the shaman touched my Titicaca. Now my fumes are interdimensional.

[Giannis Papas]

What about the list?

[Chris DiStefano]

List.

[Giannis Papas]

What about the list?

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got Sheik Mahdiq. Mustaf Alik.

[Giannis Papas]

Wow.

[Chris DiStefano]

She's a muzzy kid.

[Giannis Papas]

That's a terror alert list.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Never, never go full Chrissy Cookie Puss and Beans.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Teddy Tuckbacks.

[Giannis Papas]

Teddy, Tuckbacks is the definition of a chicky.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what it is. Philly kid. So I hate the.

[Giannis Papas]

But they're good. They're funny. They're better than the Knicks. I get it. He's saying the Knicks, you know, but.

[Chris DiStefano]

He'S saying he's from Philly, so that makes sense.

[Giannis Papas]

It makes sense. But the thing about the walked in ones is you got to give them credit that they're inventive because they're hiding bad stuff. Yeah. I mean, in things.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's a basketball one.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. That is just. But it's just good. It's a double entendre. He hates the Knicks, but we know what he's saying.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

So it just hats off for the inventiveness.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

So we can't do it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Can't do it. Then we got Pussy Orc. Then we got. I microwave my sushi because I'm an Enola Gay kid.

[Giannis Papas]

He. I microwave my sushi. He should have went. He was almost there.

[Chris DiStefano]

Enola Gay. The plane that dropped the nuke.

[Giannis Papas]

Good one. I'm gonna. I'm a Drexler. It for the attempt. It was really good. Really good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Certified Akash hater. You're. I don't know what that means. Franklin and Beans, Day one Gay.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Franklin and Beans is funny. Traps. Jesus. Marty Gallo, Barbara Dry Hand. Chris De Syphilis. David Marshall.

[Giannis Papas]

Chris Syphilis is a chicken figure.

[Chris DiStefano]

Chrissy Rosenblatt. Juliet Charlie Sierra Rogan is a psyop and has a touch of the tism. Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Chicken finger.

[Chris DiStefano]

Donnie T's favorite drink is orange juice.

[Giannis Papas]

Juice.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Or cuz he's an orange kid.

[Chris DiStefano]

Orange juice.

[Giannis Papas]

Maybe I'm just going to chicken finger it.

[Chris DiStefano]

An Rosakis Hayden. Jason Fontaine. Fumes on my wiener from a bad History of Hygiena.

[Giannis Papas]

Put him on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. Fumes on my wiener's funny.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. And from a bad. Yeah, very funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Lindsay. Alex Hicks. Sauce monkey kid who doesn't really like his mom. Sorry, Mom. What it is.

[Giannis Papas]

Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. Muzzy kid that loves tobacco. So whenever I see Frisbees package news. I call them the Zinfandel. Zinfandel.

[Giannis Papas]

I don't get it. Okay, he went for something.

[Chris DiStefano]

Infidel. Zinfandel.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay, I went for it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Michael Gaylor, Daniel Terry, Carl. The Frisbee Dojo, AKA Kraft Gaza. Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Cutie with a smoothie who loves Puerto Rican booty.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Christopher Deleo. Rick Ricky Klo Kayfabe. Sammy Sosa. The OG Deep fake. Jared Denson. Alex Oingo. Boingo Eastern Hemis make me go pure and go Murphy.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Chrissy likes sweets. Yanni likes feets. I want to walked in a while. Disparage. Yeah, can't do that.

[Giannis Papas]

He snuck it by the goalies.

[Chris DiStefano]

Put it in. Is. Yeah. Brad hockey goal. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

It's tough to get in, but you know you can get it in.

[Chris DiStefano]

Brad Ziegler shooting glue to Carmel's curry. Foot fumes. Okay. Gives pecks on pickled peppers.

[Giannis Papas]

It's walked in a way, but it is funny. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Kanye do Hitler. Okay. Alex Kellogg's Auschbitz frosted Frisbee tips now with added hummus. Yeah, I walked in and want a good one though.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Low dose lesbos.

[Giannis Papas]

Low dose Lesbos. Definition of a chicky chicken finger.

[Chris DiStefano]

Sal. My Asian GF squints to think. So her IQ goes up.

[Giannis Papas]

So walked in. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Steve Sway. Ucf that needs young Mark, Nate and Sergio from Dasita Glue.

[Giannis Papas]

Got it. He watches a dusted video and jerks off the guys.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, I'm not gay. It's just a DIY colonoscopy.

[Giannis Papas]

Put him on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay, scan this podcast in the Yuka app. And it said good. Added hormones might lead to breast cancer. P.S. love you sluts.

[Giannis Papas]

Thank you, Dre.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got. I drew a swastika on my Tesla before it was cool.

[Giannis Papas]

Put them on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

List.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay, very funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Timmy. AO3 bricked up. String bean. Savannah. Red beard Electrical. My best blowjob was from Muzzy. Yeah. Noah Face. Three Dollar Bill Hader, the Rectum Raider. Okay. Then they put a peach.

[Giannis Papas]

That's a good one. Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay, I take my coffee. Shaun King. White chocolate mocha with extra cream.

[Giannis Papas]

Put him on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, that's it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, take my coffee. Sean King.

[Giannis Papas]

That's very, very funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Pump me up and slap my nuts in that big gay hat.

[Giannis Papas]

Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

One of the fume remaining that listen to chaos. One of the fume remaining remaining that listen to chaos. Good.

[Giannis Papas]

Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

Ned Dickey, Glooy Lewis and the Jews.

[Giannis Papas]

Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

Gerbil play. Call me Richard Queer. Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Gerbil.

[Chris DiStefano]

Gerbil play. Play Call me Richard Queer.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, put him on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

List.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay, good one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Going down on AOC longer than Whitney Houston's bath time.

[Giannis Papas]

Oh, yeah, put him on the list. She was in it for a little while.

[Chris DiStefano]

D the toot Brazil. Wayne Martin. The Israelis are spawn camping. Jesus. Okay, not good. Scott McDonald. Chris King James piece. So small. Looks like I got three balls.

[Giannis Papas]

It's an oldie but goodie.

[Chris DiStefano]

Get out of my deli. If you're say that, that's disparaging. Racist. Can't do that. I'm starting the Bay Ridge Ice Volleys. Who's in? Brandon Gogian. Harry Junk Pat. Gary Bussey's lobotomist. Gary Busey's Lobotomus Hoffa files. J. Cole. Read Pittsburgh Dog Trainer.com screwed in his website.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Sniffing Megan Sharpie Markle moaned when the toilet water splashed my ass. Now I'm an FF funny. Maximilian Lane. Alexander Rodriguez. Ms. Rachel makes my llama. Llama hoppity hop.

[Giannis Papas]

Got it.

[Chris DiStefano]

MW sniff the wrong glue. Still got high.

[Giannis Papas]

So he sniffed. Come.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah. Xbox Boy. Sean Terry's buff beefcake daddy.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

When I tickle my sister's foot, my mom always says, stop. Wait. When I tickle my sister's foot, my mom always says, stop it. What?

[Giannis Papas]

Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. It was ill. It's inventive, but it's gross. But it's inventive. It's bad.

[Chris DiStefano]

Like, that's like. You should go to therapy.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Jesus Christ.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Inventive, though.

[Chris DiStefano]

Can't sleep naked or. I'll wipe the sheets. Wife just left and she. Wife just left and she.

[Giannis Papas]

Hoops.

[Chris DiStefano]

M. I can't even. Sorry, man. Too long, Wolf. Okay. Sigourney's beaver.

[Giannis Papas]

Sigourney's beaver. Chicken finger. Nice.

[Chris DiStefano]

Nice.

[Giannis Papas]

Fart twice.

[Chris DiStefano]

Clip. The first was the tip. The second happened on a family trip.

[Giannis Papas]

Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

Wow.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. You like that one?

[Chris DiStefano]

No. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

No, I list it.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, no, no, no.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, it's a Drex.

[Chris DiStefano]

The second happened on a family trip. Is funny.

[Giannis Papas]

It's funny. Yeah. Steven select, because he got clipped in the family trip.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's twice clipped. First was the tip circumcised.

[Giannis Papas]

I'm putting it on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

The second happened on a family trip.

[Giannis Papas]

And uncle got him.

[Chris DiStefano]

So he got circumcised and he got clipped. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

So let's put him on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Sorry. You know, that was so good. It went past me. Took me a second contender. Basic contender.

[Chris DiStefano]

Steve Selenas. Then we got Horn Pub. Hashtag screwed in. Z14590 the jizzard. I eat FF Asians for breakfast. AKA walked into one.

[Giannis Papas]

They're so bad.

[Chris DiStefano]

That was bad. That was bad.

[Giannis Papas]

Inventive. God, it's bad, though.

[Chris DiStefano]

Josh Dick. Zillow boyfriend. Michael Penix. A cuz. He was. He Muzzies. M. Saturdays for the boys. Sundays the boys for the table. Okay, got it. But curious. David McMartin. Ellie Sutton. Steward. Finton Parsons. CTE induced.

[Giannis Papas]

Oh, wow.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh, like two attack leova.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

I hope not. We hope.

[Giannis Papas]

Did away.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Vivek. AKA3$bin Laden.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Foo Foo. Fume Fighters. RFK's Whale.

[Giannis Papas]

Oh, the what he cut the head off of.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right. Sigurthy Weaver.

[Giannis Papas]

We had that one already.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, that was the. We had a sigourni Beaver. That's interesting. Adam Patterson. Rory Baird. Tobias Thorne. You know what I think some people do? They sign up twice and make two accounts. I think they try to like, you know.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Tobias Thorton. Not even a chicken finger. Ishmael Salazar. Flip from the mountains of Monty Leroy. I mean, Montenegro. Shout out Uncle.

[Giannis Papas]

Jimmy Wow. Monster Montenegro. One of my best friends.

[Chris DiStefano]

But he called Monte Leroy.

[Giannis Papas]

Oh, he called him Mont Leroy.

[Chris DiStefano]

He. He said, flip Philip from the mountains of Monte Leroy. I mean, Montenegro. Shout out, Uncle Jimmy. He called Montenegro Monte Ly. Wow.

[Giannis Papas]

Put him on the list. Another.

[Chris DiStefano]

We got two Bastiani, which has never happened.

[Giannis Papas]

We got two past wow.

[Chris DiStefano]

Monte.

[Giannis Papas]

It's easy to get it past me because I couldn't see on the sides. It just comes straight. I got one eye.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

So it's easy to get to the right or left.

[Chris DiStefano]

Chrissy D. And Yanni P. Can come take me physically. Chrissy's handprint on Gaga's ass cheek. Sam Shill. Hashtag Border Patrol. Instagram. Andre Lazo. Ike Epstein's island marine biology summer camp for gifted teens.

[Giannis Papas]

Wow, that's good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Adolf's Ultimate.

[Giannis Papas]

Put him on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

That's really good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Adolph's Ultimate. Frisbee League.

[Giannis Papas]

That's a walked into one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Sorry.

[Giannis Papas]

It's very funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

John McEs, Taiwanese on his knees. Poundama Canal. Like Pound Dama. Okay. Chrissy Nut in Mom nine years ago. I need school shoes. Dad Way Shan Shen. Pr Dicky Dizzle. John Trotta Cashmere Jonas Hunter M. Julio Sanchez. Amy Schumer's Dry fumer. Chairman Mao's intermittent fasting regime.

[Giannis Papas]

Really good. He starved his people. Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna Drax with that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. The New York Epstein's Islanders.

[Giannis Papas]

That's really good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Funny.

[Giannis Papas]

Drexler. God, he's a good.

[Chris DiStefano]

That guy. 21, 22. Need a desert Latina to give my Cox nut. Desert Latina.

[Giannis Papas]

Desert Latina is funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Sigrun Choi, Andrew McGraw. Trav. I went all the way with the guy. Now I shit. Oatmeal cream pies. Travis Sir Mike Geary, 2004. Dave Matthews Band, Chicago River Incident. Do you know what that is?

[Giannis Papas]

What happened?

[Chris DiStefano]

We don't know what happened.

[Giannis Papas]

Well, look it up.

[Chris DiStefano]

Nick Barnes, crew of 82. At first she said no, but then it grew.

[Giannis Papas]

Very funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Blank shooter. Rari. My dog barks under that hat.

[Giannis Papas]

See if there's horns there or something.

[Chris DiStefano]

Thomas Horvit, ath. Used to follow Christianity until Chrissy D. Took my virginity. Now I'm a table squeak.

[Giannis Papas]

It's funny. Yeah. What do you want to do, Drexler?

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, we got a lot on the list already, but it is funny. Table squeak made you laugh.

[Giannis Papas]

Table squeak is very funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Why don't you throw it on there, then?

[Giannis Papas]

Throw it on there for the laugh. Table squeak is very funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Brad Razpinski Joseph Baldwin. Harry Murray Murda Kastner. 26 Jordan Garlick. Belly button stank. Donnie T's bottom B. Who's looking for a bigger peen? Post Corn Ass Eater Christopher Very Jesse Baby Gorgeous. Needs his baba filled up from Chrissy pseudo tit.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay, that's good. Maybe we should stop.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, I was gonna say. Okay, so that's. Yeah, that's. That's it for now. And we'll get to the rest of the names next week. But let's read. Let's read this list.

[Giannis Papas]

Okie dok.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay, so we got Philip from the mountains of Monty Leroy. I mean, Montenegro. Shout out Uncle Jimmy.

[Giannis Papas]

We're going to Drex for that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Drex for that. Okay, good one, though. Epstein's Island Marine biology summer camp for gifted teens.

[Giannis Papas]

We're going to keep that as a contender.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay, I took ayahuasca, but the shaman touched my titi kaka. Now my fumes are interdimensional. Okay. Fumes on my wiener from a bad history of hygiena.

[Giannis Papas]

That's a good one. Any other day. Sorry.

[Chris DiStefano]

All right.

[Giannis Papas]

Sorry.

[Chris DiStefano]

All right.

[Giannis Papas]

And then we got the draw.

[Chris DiStefano]

I'm not gay. It's just a DIY colonoscopy.

[Giannis Papas]

We're going to Drexler it. I know who's going to win.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, we got. I drew a swastika on my Tesla before. It was cool.

[Giannis Papas]

Very funny. But you're being Drexler. Very funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Any other day, I take my coffee. Shaun King white chocolate mocha with extra cream.

[Giannis Papas]

That's a contender. Okay, so we got it. Yeah. Two contenders so far.

[Chris DiStefano]

Gerbil play. Call me Richard Queer.

[Giannis Papas]

It's so, so good. But it's probably been done. Any other day. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Going down on AOC longer than Whitney Houston's bath time.

[Giannis Papas]

It's. It's almost a. Walked into one because she was just laying dead.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. And I'm a Whitney Houston fan, so we gotta.

[Giannis Papas]

We gotta direct.

[Chris DiStefano]

I love Whitney.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Loves Whitney.

[Chris DiStefano]

Twice. Clip. The first was the tip. The second happened on a family trip.

[Giannis Papas]

We're gonna contender that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay, so the contenders here. Contenders Twice. Clip. The first was the tip. The second happened on family trip. I took ayahuasca, but the shaman touched my titicaca. Now my fumes are interdimensional.

[Giannis Papas]

That's the one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Or Epstein's Island Marine Bio summer camp for gifted teeth.

[Giannis Papas]

Those are three goodies. But we do this right? We do my vote. We're gonna have to vote because these are three goodies. I'm going with the interdimensional Yep.

[Chris DiStefano]

Jesse. Yep. So congratulations to you. I took ayahuasca, but the shaman touched my Titicaca. Now my fumes are interdimensional. You're the winner. So your name up in lights at History Hyenas is back dot com. We got a bunch of dates up there. Both our stand updates are up there. Yanni, you're off the road. You're all on the road.

[Giannis Papas]

I'm on the road a few days coming up. Stanford, Montana, whatever are coming. But my special is coming out June 1st, so get ready. It's called Property owner, so get ready. What we're gonna do is we're gonna put it up exclusively for Patreon members of the matriarchy first for a couple of weeks. What you can do is go watch it there for $10. Or if you want to just join the matriarchy and get all the content, you. You can get it for $5 as well if you join the matriarchy. So 5 or 10. If you join for 10, you get all the video content for all the rest of our content and you become a member of the community. So it's for the fans.

[Chris DiStefano]

For the fans. And we're gonna do a live watch party [e-mail] history ianosforwaniani special comes out so you can get watch it along with us, communicate with us and all that. And then for me, go to christycomedy.com at the end of May, I'm in Washington, D.C. durham, North Carolina, and Charleston, South Carolina. Then in June, we're in Kansas City City, Denver, we're in San Francisco area in some casino. We're in New Mexico. We have a bunch of dates at Christie. Comedy.com September 11th. Madison Square Garden arena has been moved to the theater. So go get those tickets because they're almost sold out. And then the Wilbur Theater and the Chevalier Theater in Boston in October. Christy comedy.com for tiki wikis.