Genghis Khan banged your great grandma | History Hyenas - History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas

Summary4 min read

History Hyenas Episode Summary: "Genghis Khan Banged Your Great Grandma"

Hosts: Chris DiStefano and Yannis Pappas
Release Date: May 22, 2025
Podcast: History Hyenas

Introduction

In the episode titled "Genghis Khan Banged Your Great Grandma," comedians Chris DiStefano and Yannis Pappas dive into the tumultuous and often misunderstood life of Genghis Khan. Blending historical facts with their trademark humor, the hosts unveil lesser-known aspects of the Mongolian conqueror's legacy.

Early Life and Family Dynamics

[01:30] Yannis Pappas:
Yannis introduces Genghis Khan, originally named Temujin, highlighting his Armenian roots and early betrothal to Borte at the tender age of nine. He humorously remarks on the term "betrothed," equating it to a future marriage commitment without immediate matrimony.

[03:11] Chris DiStefano:
Chris shares the tragic tale of Temujin's father, Yasugi, who was poisoned by a rival clan due to a vendetta over a poorly executed DVD sales attempt. This event forced young Temujin and his family into nomadic hardship, shaping his resilience and leadership qualities.

Rise to Power

[05:46] Chris DiStefano:
Discussing the Mongolian societal structure, Chris compares the Mongols to Vikings—nomadic yet sophisticated. He emphasizes Genghis Khan's unparalleled territorial conquests, stating, "He ruled from the Pacific Ocean all the way through to eastern China," showcasing his strategic prowess.

[12:03] Yannis Pappas:
Yannis details how the death of Temujin's father left him and his family vulnerable, leading to their nomadic lifestyle on the steppes. This period of hardship forged Temujin into a formidable and resourceful leader, dedicated to protecting his mother and clan.

Military Tactics and Conquests

[21:52] Chris DiStefano:
Chris delves into the Mongols' exceptional horseback riding and archery skills, illustrating their ability to perform complex maneuvers while shooting arrows at high speeds. He highlights their psychological warfare tactics, such as the feigned retreat, which lured enemies into ambushes.

[32:19] Yannis Pappas:
Yannis narrates the pivotal moment when Jamuka, Genghis Khan's blood brother, betrays him. Despite the betrayal, Genghis Khan's unwavering value of loyalty ensures Jamuka's survival, albeit as one of his key generals. This incident reinforces Genghis Khan's reputation for both mercy and strategic brilliance.

Administration and Legal Systems

[56:44] Yannis Pappas:
Yannis discusses the implementation of the Yasa Code by Genghis Khan, a comprehensive legal system that emphasized order, discipline, and unity. This code, though not fully preserved, laid the groundwork for modern administrative practices, including censuses, postal systems, and taxation methods.

[57:20] Chris DiStefano:
Chris acknowledges the Mongols' contributions to state governance, noting that their administrative innovations influenced later legal traditions across various civilizations.

Leadership Style and Legacy

[46:30] Yannis Pappas:
Yannis highlights Genghis Khan's pragmatic leadership and meritocratic approach, where individuals were promoted based on talent and loyalty rather than birthright. This strategy not only strengthened his empire but also fostered a culture of excellence and dedication among his followers.

[49:25] Chris DiStefano:
Chris compares the Mongol legal and administrative systems to those of the Romans, drawing parallels between the Pax Mongolica and the Pax Romana. He humorously suggests a preference for the Pax Romana due to its slightly less brutal enforcement methods.

Comedic Interludes and Host Banter

Throughout the episode, Chris and Yannis intersperse their historical analysis with humorous anecdotes and playful banter. They create fictional elements, such as comparing Mongolian warriors to "sneaky little dickies" and inventing playful nicknames for historical figures. For instance:

[51:22] Chris DiStefano:
"Who do you think wins in a fight? The best Mongolian warriors versus the best Greek Spartans. Who wins in a fight?"
[54:46] Yannis Pappas:
"Romanian Cam Girl, AKA no Fumes Through Zooms."

These segments add a lighthearted touch to the episode, making complex historical narratives more accessible and entertaining for listeners.

Notable Quotes

Chris DiStefano [03:11]:
"There's no way to make wine without little grapes."
Yannis Pappas [46:34]:
"A man's greatest joy is to scatter his enemies, to drive them before him, and to see his cities reduced to ashes."
Yannis Pappas [60:43]:
"He was all about meritocracy. He just pulled himself up by his own bootstraps and made something of himself."
Chris DiStefano [58:49]:
"If you're scared, don't do it. If you're doing it, don't be afraid."

Conclusion and Insights

In "Genghis Khan Banged Your Great Grandma," History Hyenas offers a compelling mix of historical facts and comedic storytelling. Chris and Yannis shed light on Genghis Khan's strategic genius, leadership qualities, and the lasting impact of his empire. Their humorous take makes the episode both informative and entertaining, appealing to history enthusiasts and casual listeners alike.

Listeners are left with a nuanced understanding of Genghis Khan—not just as a ruthless conqueror but also as a visionary leader who transformed the Mongolian tribes into one of history's most formidable empires.

Note: This summary excludes advertisements, non-content sections, and comedic interludes unrelated to the main historical discussion, focusing solely on the informative aspects of the episode.

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Transcript857 lines

[00:01]
Giannis Pappas
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[00:30]
Chris DiStefano
Guys, this episode is about Genghis Khan, aka Chingis Khan. And it is wild. A lot of things that you thought you knew about him, you really didn't. And we unveiled the secret history of Genghis Khan.
[00:40]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. And everything we say in this episode is verifiable. There is a bug named Chiggers.
[00:44]
Chris DiStefano
Yes, there is. And he was called Chingus Khan. And this episode is nuts. And I want you to go to ChrisDComedy.com if you'd like to come see me. I will be in Washington, D.C. at the Warner Theater, May 29, Durham, North Carolina, May 30 at the Carolina Theater. And May 31, Charleston, South Carolina, Charleston Music Hall. That is my tour down south. Chris dcomedy.com for Tiki Wikis. Everybody in the front row getting kissed on the lips. Yeah.
[01:07]
Giannis Pappas
The only thing on my tour schedule before I load UP is Bozeman, Montana at the Emerson center for the Arts November 22nd. So that's a little while away, but the schedule will fill up. The special's coming out soon. We don't know where, so I got.
[01:20]
Chris DiStefano
To be quiet about it and everything that is cackled out. On this episode you're about to hear about Genghis Khan can be heard at patreon.com history hyenas where the real fun happens. Enjoy.
[01:30]
Giannis Pappas
Chingus Sad. My name is Giannis Pappas. I'm sitting here with Johnny Neutron, otherwise known as Chris DiStefano. Today we're going to be talking about a very important Eastern hemi. If you look at your DNA, there's a good chance you got some of his DNA because the kid liked to spread the seed. A little guy I like to call the with the nuke, Genghis Khan.
[02:25]
Chris DiStefano
Genghis Khan, also known as Chingis Khan, is what he's known as in Mongolia. Well, that is a way shot, but that is also true. That's a truth baiter. Burke. He's Chingus Khan. Chingus. Just kidding. He's.
[02:43]
Giannis Pappas
It's for the Patreon.
[02:44]
Chris DiStefano
Patreon.com history hyenas to hear what Yan just said and our Chrissy's joke, our patreon.com history is where the community is. It's where the fun is, and it's where we can say things like ch.
[02:59]
Giannis Pappas
So this is a very interesting character. This is. Is the story of East, Me, West. And unfortunately, that was done.
[03:07]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[03:08]
Giannis Pappas
Through bloodshed, through a little bit of graping.
[03:12]
Chris DiStefano
It's unfortunately. Here's the thing. As you've taken this journey with us week after week, month after month, we've been back for about six months now. And delving back into history has been amazing fun. And what you realize is every part of history, unfortunately, these guys would get their empires and then women would just get graped. And. And I don't like it, of course, but it's just something that needs to be said. It's just. There's no way to make wine without little grapes.
[03:43]
Giannis Pappas
It's unfortunate. It's an unfortunate reality of history.
[03:46]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, that.
[03:47]
Giannis Pappas
That happens when guys take lands. You know, like when Genghis Khan had all of the Mongols.
[03:54]
Chris DiStefano
Can we call him Genghis Khan?
[03:55]
Giannis Pappas
We call him Genghis Khan because that.
[03:57]
Chris DiStefano
Is actually, if you go to Mongolia, y. Mongolian people, they call him Chingis Khan.
[04:01]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. Well, his best friend at some point was named Jamiroquai.
[04:04]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[04:05]
Giannis Pappas
So I was like, how did this black guy get in the story?
[04:06]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, we're going to get it to him.
[04:07]
Giannis Pappas
Get it to him in a second.
[04:08]
Chris DiStefano
The story gets wild because the thing is with the Mongolians and Genghis Khan is you think that they were barbarians. You think that they were these.
[04:16]
Giannis Pappas
I could do this the whole time when you got him.
[04:17]
Chris DiStefano
I mean, Jenkins Khan. That's literally. I'm not. I know it's funny, but I'm actually accurate. Yeah, yeah. Genghis Khan.
[04:25]
Giannis Pappas
Okay.
[04:25]
Chris DiStefano
And so it's just. What it is. Yeah. And so. So what happened is, with, with. With the Mongolians is you think that they were barbarians and ruthless and whatever, but they actually are very similar to the Vikings. They had a very sophisticated society, very hierarchical society. And, you know, it's just they. They. The Mongol. Because the Mongolian land is interesting. They were all nomads. They didn't have actual palaces and structures. They were mobile. They were always moving.
[04:54]
Giannis Pappas
They were tribes. Yeah. Tribes of nomads.
[04:57]
Chris DiStefano
There were nomads.
[04:58]
Giannis Pappas
They moved like animals with the land, with the seasons. Yes, they were like that. And so the Chinese, just. Chinese were living on the other side of a great big beautiful wall, and they considered them just barbarians because the.
[05:11]
Chris DiStefano
Mongolians are the only people that we've discovered in history that move more than me.
[05:15]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[05:15]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[05:17]
Giannis Pappas
That's very true.
[05:18]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[05:19]
Giannis Pappas
Who knows what kind of relationship these guys were in that they had to.
[05:22]
Chris DiStefano
Keep moving, they had to keep going.
[05:23]
Giannis Pappas
But these guys could just be seen many a day on horseback with garbage bags.
[05:28]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, it's just what it.
[05:29]
Giannis Pappas
Sleeping in there. Sleeping in their horses.
[05:31]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[05:31]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. That's just who they were. They were Chrissy D Back then. They just had situations with the mother.
[05:37]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, it's just what it is. Mongolians are, as I like to call them, 13th century Puerto Ricans. Yeah.
[05:45]
Giannis Pappas
They moved around a lot.
[05:46]
Chris DiStefano
Now, here's a fun fact about Genghis Khan, AKA Genghis Khan, is he ruled more territory than eventually in his life than any other ruler in history.
[05:57]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[05:57]
Chris DiStefano
So he ruled from, I think it was something like the Pacific Ocean all the way through to eastern China, because he wound up ruling.
[06:04]
Giannis Pappas
He conquered more land in 25 years than the Romans did in 400 years. Yeah. But part of me goes like, what was the opposition? Who is he fighting? Yeah. Okay. Was this sort of like the Harlem Globetrotters versus the Generals? Like, what was the opposition? But I think it was pretty fierce because he conquered his other tribes, too. And they were all wild. They would raid the Chinese.
[06:26]
Chris DiStefano
Yes, Constantly.
[06:27]
Giannis Pappas
They would come and raid the Chinese. They would marauder the Chinese. And that's why the Chinese built a great big beautiful wall and started asking for papers.
[06:34]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[06:34]
Giannis Pappas
And weren't given habeas corpus because they wanted the Mongols out.
[06:38]
Chris DiStefano
Out of there.
[06:39]
Giannis Pappas
They were stealing jobs. They were working on roofs.
[06:42]
Chris DiStefano
Yes.
[06:42]
Giannis Pappas
They were doing things. They were selling chico sticks.
[06:44]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[06:45]
Giannis Pappas
They were down there in the train station selling pineapples.
[06:48]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. The Mongols are running around with. With LA Dodgers jerseys.
[06:51]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[06:51]
Chris DiStefano
People with bow and arrow backwards on horseback.
[06:54]
Giannis Pappas
And they said, no more. No more. I can't say Ms. 13 in shapes because Chinese letters are just shapes.
[07:00]
Chris DiStefano
They're just shapes.
[07:01]
Giannis Pappas
So whatever it is, was the Ms. 13 of the day was May house with, like, a doggy bone.
[07:05]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[07:05]
Giannis Pappas
And maybe a couple of clouds. Yeah, it was. They were. It was tattooed on their fist. Doggy bone cloud, you know, Chinese sandals.
[07:13]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[07:13]
Giannis Pappas
And then an ox.
[07:14]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[07:14]
Giannis Pappas
Which equals Ms. 13 of the day.
[07:17]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. It's just what it is. And we're just. And it needs to just be said. It needs to just be said that they all did look alike. And it was very difficult for them to find out who was who. How were they fighting each other? How were they doing this or that? Because they do. And it's just not, it's just a statement. Even when watching the documentaries, all the actors kind of look like. That's why I was always confused. Any time a Chinese criminal, you know, died and you needed to find, get access to his phone and they said, we can't get his phone. I said, just put that phone up, you'll get right in. Does the, does the, does Apple technology know how to differentiate maybe a patriot.
[07:59]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. That may be one of the big differences between Samsung and Apple.
[08:02]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[08:03]
Giannis Pappas
Because Samsung was made by Eastern Hemis, so maybe that's more they could tell the difference.
[08:08]
Chris DiStefano
So Samsung was like, we can't use facial recognition technology. It doesn't work for us.
[08:12]
Giannis Pappas
No, but no, maybe they can tell the difference. Got it. I remember Ali Wong told me she went to Greece once. She said, she said, I just saw a bunch of Giannis's. So to her, right, all look, all the Greeks look like me. And part of me wanted to go like, is it this to the same extent though?
[08:27]
Chris DiStefano
Right?
[08:27]
Giannis Pappas
Because when you look at Greek, some of us got bigger eyebrows, some of us got a little different hair, different noses. I mean Chinese, it just.
[08:37]
Chris DiStefano
On the Patreon. So. Okay, so here's the thing. Here's, here's, here's the things about, about Genghis Khan. First of all, they, I think we've.
[08:46]
Giannis Pappas
Established that he's Asian.
[08:48]
Chris DiStefano
He's Asian.
[08:48]
Giannis Pappas
I think in many ways we've established the kid was Asian.
[08:50]
Chris DiStefano
His name is Chinggis Khan. His, his original name though was Temujin.
[08:54]
Giannis Pappas
Whoa.
[08:55]
Chris DiStefano
That was his original name.
[08:56]
Giannis Pappas
He was Armenian.
[08:56]
Chris DiStefano
He was Armenian because his original name was Tamujian. And then eventually, I think it's around 1206 is a significant year. I think that's when they give him the title of Genghis Khan. A lot happens, you know, we'll get to that. But the kid, basically, the kid basically, you know, he got betrothed to his would be wife one day. Her name was Borte. He got betrothed at nine years old.
[09:19]
Giannis Pappas
Now, are you just doing what the elites do and using a word, a fancy word, Betrothed. I mean, what does betrothed mean? I don't even know what betrothed, you know what means? What does it mean? Wedded.
[09:28]
Chris DiStefano
Right, yeah, Wedded Patrol.
[09:29]
Giannis Pappas
So can't you just say he married her?
[09:31]
Chris DiStefano
I could. Well, he didn't marry her then because. Because a betrothed is like a future wedding.
[09:36]
Giannis Pappas
Oh.
[09:36]
Chris DiStefano
A patrol is saying you're nine years old, she's 10 years old. When you guys are of age.
[09:41]
Giannis Pappas
Both of age.
[09:42]
Chris DiStefano
Yes.
[09:42]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah, it's both of age.
[09:44]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. So we're gonna take you two to Epstein's island and you're gonna bang out. So. No, so what? Eventually you will be married to her. And so they took him. They, they. Because what it was, was back in those days, as a father would take his son, so Genghis's Khan father, whose name was Yasugi Segway or something like that, he would take his son around all the different steps, the different parts of Mongolian empire will call it.
[10:11]
Giannis Pappas
Steps. Yeah, that's what I was about to say. This whole thing happened on the neutrals.
[10:14]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, the neutral.
[10:15]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. This part of history happened on the steps.
[10:17]
Chris DiStefano
The neutrals say the place where Eileen.
[10:19]
Giannis Pappas
Cracks brew that's 10 and decides family law.
[10:22]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, yeah, it's what it is. Yeah. So she. So. So he took her. He would take him around to different villages and try to find a wife for him. Basically try to find someone that his son's going to bang out to keep the legacy going. So he finds this woman, Borte, and her father, and it's very nice and they're happy. And what he does is what was customary back then is you would just leave the son, leave your nine year old son with this nine year old girl. And they're not going to bang out, but they're just going to get to know each other for a few months while this guy travels back to his village. But when he was traveling back, he stopped. But we got stopped by a rival clan. And back in those days, a rival clan just wouldn't kill you. They would invite you in, feed you, and they would kind of just talk to you, try to pick your brain a little bit and then let you go. But these scumbags poisoned and killed Yasuge.
[11:06]
Giannis Pappas
Well, you know why that happened? Tell me. Well, because a previous time that he went to that clan, the father, his father was a local chieftain.
[11:13]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[11:14]
Giannis Pappas
And he went to that clan and he was selling DVDs.
[11:17]
Chris DiStefano
It's what it is.
[11:18]
Giannis Pappas
And so what happened was. Yeah, they got one of the DVDs and it was supposed to be a DVD of Titanic.
[11:25]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[11:25]
Giannis Pappas
And it was filmed. And it was shaky. Yeah, it was filmed in the theater. It was shaky. And they were upset about that because they charged him full price for a locked off shot.
[11:33]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[11:33]
Giannis Pappas
So they were a little pissed. So they poisoned as a little revenge for a bad dvd.
[11:36]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. And what. What it was was customer at the time, because he was a chieftain, they. They allowed him to be buried with his stick and two garbage bags.
[11:44]
Giannis Pappas
That was the problem.
[11:45]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, they threw it on.
[11:46]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. That was the most impressive thing about this was because the guys would ride on horseback, but they would have B cans. You can hear them coming.
[11:53]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[11:53]
Giannis Pappas
So that's what they were able to carry. Cans like this with a stick on a horse. That's a 10. Yeah.
[11:58]
Chris DiStefano
That's how the. Yeah, it's just what it is.
[12:01]
Giannis Pappas
So, yeah. This is interesting.
[12:03]
Chris DiStefano
Okay, so. And you got to think about. Just let me set. You know, he's a kid right now, but Chingis Khan is going to go on to become. He's kind of like. To the Mongolian people. To the Mongolian people. He eventually becomes like a mix of Napoleon and Jesus. Like, he's a. He's a spiritual religious figure, but he's also a warlord, like Napoleon.
[12:23]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[12:23]
Chris DiStefano
So the kid is just going to go on to become. I mean, one of. If you are Mongolian at that time, you literally think that you're living in heaven.
[12:32]
Giannis Pappas
Right. Sort of like Muhammad was like that.
[12:34]
Chris DiStefano
Exactly.
[12:34]
Giannis Pappas
Historically, the book say.
[12:36]
Chris DiStefano
Yes.
[12:36]
Giannis Pappas
I'm not making a judgment. I'm just saying he was also a military leader and a conqueror.
[12:40]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. So, okay, so the kids. So the kid's father, Genghis Khan's father, dies. Right. So now it's just Genghis Khan, his brother. And then he's got a half brother.
[12:50]
Giannis Pappas
He's got two of those.
[12:51]
Chris DiStefano
Two of those.
[12:52]
Giannis Pappas
Two stepbrothers.
[12:53]
Chris DiStefano
Two stepbrothers. And Chingis's Khan's mother.
[12:56]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[12:57]
Chris DiStefano
Okay, so Chingis Khan mother. Very, very tough lady. The society back then, Mongolian society, even though they would grape women all day, the women had the mothers and wives, had the ear of the chieftains and the leaders. They would consult with them for advice. They weren't just like, cook my dinner, bitch. They were more like, tell me what to do.
[13:15]
Giannis Pappas
And this is eventually what led to the downfall of Mongols, is they let the women talk too much.
[13:20]
Chris DiStefano
It's just what it is. So. So what happens is, is the mother is taking them through the plane, through the steps. They are nomads. They don't have. You have to understand, Genghis Khan was an actual. He was a. He was a. Like a king with his father. Like, in their little area, he was royalty. And now the kid goes to just being poor. He's a pauper. Got nothing. They have no wealth. They have nothing to trade. So the mom has to take them on the steps, just with their tents out. And then they have to hunt for their food, pick Berries, all that stuff.
[13:52]
Giannis Pappas
Because their tribe just abandoned them.
[13:53]
Chris DiStefano
Completely abandoned them. Because now they have no dad, and they're done.
[13:56]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[13:57]
Chris DiStefano
So throughout. So this is where Genghis Khan really starts to become this, you know, kind of grizzled guy that's just strong and tough and can do anything because the kid's just protecting his mother.
[14:06]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[14:07]
Chris DiStefano
There's a little bit of Italian in him because. Just protecting his mother.
[14:09]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[14:10]
Chris DiStefano
At all times. He loves his mother.
[14:11]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[14:11]
Chris DiStefano
So what happens is, is one of these stepbrothers.
[14:14]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[14:15]
Chris DiStefano
Is kind of like just being a little bit of a dick. He's a little older, and he's a little bit of just like, pushing Genghis Khan and his brother around a little bit, being kind of an asshole. They steal a fish, they have a fit. Chingis Khan went and got a fish for his mother, and then this older stepbrother takes the fish. So what they do is he's sitting on a rock, the stepbrother sitting on a rock, eating the fish. Now, they're only 12 years old, and Chingis Khan goes behind them with a bow and arrow, and the other brother goes in front of him with the bow and arrow, and they just tattoo this kid with two hours from the front and the back, which is. Which is very cowardly from Mongolian society because he just put two arrows right in the back.
[14:49]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. The kid.
[14:51]
Chris DiStefano
But the. And the mother flips out. She's so mad at Genghis Khan. She's so upset because she's like, I can't believe. Even though it's not her kids, like, you killed this kid. That's awful. That was your son's. That was your father's son. Because back in those days, they would just allow. This kid was from Chinggis Khan's father, Yasuge. That was just his secondary wife.
[15:10]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[15:10]
Chris DiStefano
So he had a main wife.
[15:11]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[15:11]
Chris DiStefano
Who said Chingis Khan. And then he just had a secondary wife, which was allowed. We call that. What?
[15:16]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[15:16]
Chris DiStefano
A guma.
[15:17]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. Or in Asia, they call it gumala.
[15:19]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, Gumala.
[15:21]
Giannis Pappas
It was a gumala.
[15:22]
Chris DiStefano
So they will have to have gumaless. And a little bit. There's a little bit. You know, I'm getting married in here, and there's a little bit of. What? I'd like to just introduce a little bit of Mongolian society into the marriage. Yeah. What I'd like to do.
[15:33]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, there was rumors that the kid was hoarding food and hiding it from the rest.
[15:39]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. So you're gonna get two hours in the back. For that.
[15:41]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. You're gonna get two hours in the back if you're not giving my mother her food. If you. If you. Mistreating Ma.
[15:46]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[15:46]
Giannis Pappas
And so that's what he did. He took that kid out.
[15:49]
Chris DiStefano
He took that kid out.
[15:49]
Giannis Pappas
That brother got. He got. He got one in the back of the head.
[15:52]
Chris DiStefano
But the mother. Her name was Hoelin. Hoelin was the mother, Sheen.
[15:55]
Giannis Pappas
She was a hole.
[15:56]
Chris DiStefano
She was holy. Yeah. Yeah.
[15:59]
Giannis Pappas
Wow. Wow. Yeah.
[16:00]
Chris DiStefano
That was her name. So she said. So she said later on, she was like. Because a lot of the. Here's another interesting thing. A lot of the histories that we have of the Mongolians today, it was only discovered from this secret history that was written by The Mongolians, like, 200 years later.
[16:15]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[16:15]
Chris DiStefano
So there's not actually. These people didn't really take notes.
[16:17]
Giannis Pappas
No, they didn't.
[16:18]
Chris DiStefano
On their life.
[16:18]
Giannis Pappas
No, they kind of. They were riffers. They winged it like we do. Exactly. Yeah.
[16:22]
Chris DiStefano
They were chatgpt.
[16:23]
Giannis Pappas
They were chatgpt. They didn't really have notes, so.
[16:26]
Chris DiStefano
But what the mother said was, though, is that. She said that even though that was wrong, she knew there was something different about my little chingus. Yeah, she knew that little chingus was. Was. Was really. You know, because a lot of the chinguses at that time, you know, have no souls, but he really had dog soul.
[16:42]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. He was also born with, like, supposedly, according to the secret history of the Mongols, he was born with, like, a blood clot on his hand or whatever. And they thought that that was a good omen that he was gonna be somebody. He's gonna grow up to be somebody. But thank God this kid didn't grow up in a black or Italian neighborhood, or else he would have been teased every day because his mom's name was literally.
[17:00]
Chris DiStefano
Hold on. Hold on.
[17:01]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[17:01]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[17:01]
Giannis Pappas
So they would just be your mom. Where's your. Where's your mom? Is the hoe coming to pick you up? Yeah.
[17:05]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, yeah.
[17:06]
Giannis Pappas
That'd be tough to have your mom named Ho.
[17:07]
Chris DiStefano
Hold on.
[17:08]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah.
[17:08]
Chris DiStefano
Hold on a minute.
[17:10]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[17:13]
Chris DiStefano
Hold on. Hold on.
[17:14]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[17:15]
Chris DiStefano
So the kid kills his brother, and.
[17:17]
Giannis Pappas
Then he's only 12. He got his first body.
[17:19]
Chris DiStefano
He got his first body. Which is. Which is nice. Those are nice numbers. That's like Chicago gang.
[17:22]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, that is good. And also, he let people know right there, and then you don't. With Ching. Chingus Khan.
[17:28]
Chris DiStefano
Don't mess with Genghis Khan.
[17:30]
Giannis Pappas
Chingus Khan.
[17:31]
Chris DiStefano
Don't mess with Genghis Khan.
[17:32]
Giannis Pappas
He's. He's set the groundwork. Like, I'm the guy. Yes. Yeah.
[17:35]
Chris DiStefano
So. And then what happens is, is he. Then, you know, they go on, they kill this kid. Maybe they ate him. I honestly don't know. They kill the kid. They're still on the steps. They're looking for a place to settle. And Chingis Khan is getting older. He's like 15, 16. They get raided by. Because Mongolian was just all warring clans. Today. It's a unified Mongolia. Back then, it wasn't. It was just all warring clans. It was just groups of different types of chinguses.
[17:58]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[17:59]
Chris DiStefano
Running around.
[17:59]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[18:00]
Chris DiStefano
So.
[18:00]
Giannis Pappas
So they go, chinkleberries.
[18:02]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, exactly. So. So he then gets captured by one of them by. By this, you know, fierce leader. But again, they see something tenacious in him and they don't want to kill this kid.
[18:13]
Giannis Pappas
Yes. So he gets captured actually by the clan that left his mom. They hear about this kid. They hear that he's rising up and they go and they're like, let's go capture him. So he gets captured by them.
[18:26]
Chris DiStefano
He gets captured by the people that eventually gave up on him, you're saying. Right.
[18:30]
Giannis Pappas
So the people. So that his own people.
[18:32]
Chris DiStefano
Right.
[18:33]
Giannis Pappas
Go and capture him. The ones that left his mom.
[18:34]
Chris DiStefano
Right.
[18:35]
Giannis Pappas
Dad died. And they capture him and they put him in a fucking wood.
[18:38]
Chris DiStefano
It was called a kong. A C O N G U E. It was called the kong. They put him to humiliate him. They. This is what they would do to prisoners back then. They wouldn't kill you or beat you or make you a slave. They would just put you in this piece where your arms are out like this and you can't move the head. And then it kind of is just predates. Just cans at the end of that.
[18:56]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[18:56]
Chris DiStefano
I mean, they just got the poll like that.
[18:58]
Giannis Pappas
Maybe that's where they got the strength.
[18:59]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, that's. And then if they just throw a bunch of cans in, then the kids got about $20.
[19:04]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. So.
[19:07]
Chris DiStefano
So they put. They have him in this contraption.
[19:09]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[19:09]
Chris DiStefano
And the elitist are just making fun of them. They're just abusing him. Besides one guy. There's one guy's name is Sorkin Shira, and he's a guy who. He just liked this kid, Genghis Khan. He just was like, you know, I see something tenacious in this kid. Even though he's one of the elites, he's one of the, you know, he's like. And he's supposed to be making fun of him and abusing him. He doesn't. He kind of helps him. He gives him soup. And he. And he, you know, really is kind to him. And that's going to come back big later on because make no mistake, Genghis Khan is taking names.
[19:37]
Giannis Pappas
Yes.
[19:37]
Chris DiStefano
Okay. So if you cross him, he was going to kill you big.
[19:40]
Giannis Pappas
He was big on loyalty.
[19:42]
Chris DiStefano
Big, big on loyalty. And it's funny the way that they would kill you back then. A lot of times. There was a lot of. There was a lot of pride in it. They wouldn't, you know, if you get killed in battle with bow and arrow or sword, it's what it is. But if you were like the top chieftain or whatever and you were still alive, did you get boiled? Well, they would boil you, but only after they decapitated you. So that was nice to them.
[20:02]
Giannis Pappas
That was nice.
[20:03]
Chris DiStefano
They would cut the head off and then just put the body.
[20:04]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, they just treated you like a chicken on a holiday.
[20:07]
Chris DiStefano
It's just nice to them.
[20:07]
Giannis Pappas
That's just what they do.
[20:08]
Chris DiStefano
Mongolian barbecue is very good.
[20:10]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, it's very good.
[20:11]
Chris DiStefano
So. But what they would do is they would have you. They would take your bet. Their best wrestler, like, they. Genghis Khan could wrestle, his brother could wrestle. These kids were wrestlers. And what they would do, they had a nice little move. They would get you in some kind of nice wrestling move, and they would break your back. Ooh. That's how they would kill you. They would, like. They knew how to snap the spine.
[20:27]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[20:28]
Chris DiStefano
And they were big on lifting you up and snapping your spine over a rock or a knee. It's just what it is.
[20:32]
Giannis Pappas
These guys had farm boy strength. They were living out there in the wilderness. This was a different type of strength.
[20:37]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, they're different. They would, you know, and it's funny.
[20:39]
Giannis Pappas
Because they were all squeaks.
[20:41]
Chris DiStefano
Absolute squeaks.
[20:43]
Giannis Pappas
They were squeaks, but they were like little muscles.
[20:46]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. And actually in. Or if they found you, if you were still alive, and they would measure your body up, and if you were taller than the ax, axle, rod of, like, the cart that they had, they would kill you because they only wanted squeaks. They only wanted people who were shorter in stature or they only wanted, you know, if you were smaller than that, you were probably a kid and they could raise you. So if you were too tall from the other team, they would just kill you.
[21:09]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. Because their whole society was based on horseback. They started teaching these kids how to ride horses from 2 years old. So they basically wanted you to be the size of a jockey. So these were just like strong little jockeys rolling up on you. They little squeaks.
[21:21]
Chris DiStefano
They were getting invaded by Squeaks, little squeaks. Little mosquitoes where you just like, get these off me. Yeah, but. And what they were so. And you've probably read about this, they were so amazing at horseback riding and shooting arrows. They had the ability, because they were given horses at two years old, they had the ability to ride this horse as fast as it could, 30, 40 miles an hour. Take their hands completely off the saddle and just hit you with arrows and turn their body all the way around. And as they're riding away, they would be shooting arrows back at the enemy. So there was no way for the enemy to hit them. They could only hit the enemy. And it was nice.
[21:53]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, it's real nice. It's real nice. They were masters of horseback, much like till of a Hun. Yeah, these guys were on horseback. They grew up on horseback. Horse that was just part of their lives. They were able to move quick because of horseback. A lot of time. Their cavalry was light too. They did everything by tens, ten groups of. 10 groups, 100 groups of thousand.
[22:11]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[22:12]
Giannis Pappas
And they would sneak attack you because.
[22:14]
Chris DiStefano
They were sneaky, sneaky, sneaky, sneaky, sneaky little dickies. And they were amazing. They were.
[22:21]
Giannis Pappas
They.
[22:21]
Chris DiStefano
They were just absolutely the most fierce warriors of the day. And they had another thing that they like to do was called the feigned retreat. So what they would do with the feigned retreat is they would make believe they were like, I'm a Saskat. Yeah, you beat me. Yeah, I saw. And they're riding away and they want to draw out the nobleman. They want to draw out all the soldiers to come chase. Because you're thinking, oh, you see that, Genghis Khan? You thought, you can mess with us. We scared you away. And then as we're going away, they already had a predetermined spot that they would stop, turn around, and then they had all other soldiers coming and they would basically put you in a death pit.
[22:56]
Giannis Pappas
Wow.
[22:56]
Chris DiStefano
And they would kill you. So they make. You make. They made believe that they were running away when in fact it was all set up.
[23:02]
Giannis Pappas
Because there's sneaky, sneaky. Yeah. They would draw you out and then turn around and fire on you.
[23:09]
Chris DiStefano
Now here's a big, big part of. Of Genghis Khan and all that. Is he eventually.
[23:16]
Giannis Pappas
When do they release the bats? Yeah, that way.
[23:20]
Chris DiStefano
Some shit. They released the bats about 2019. So I want to talk to you guys. You guys. Because a big part of Chingis Khan's life is one of his best friends, Jamuka, who was a blood brother of his, who gets. They are Basically best friends forever. And then Jamuka turns on Genghis Khan. He's a real piece of shit and he winds up being one of an enemies. And we're going to tell you about that right after the break.
[23:42]
Giannis Pappas
And it's just that is exactly the moment in history where Chinese and Japanese people and Asian people fell in love with black culture. This relationship right here with his black friend. Yeah, Jamuji.
[23:53]
Chris DiStefano
Right after the break.
[23:55]
Giannis Pappas
Chrissy. Mental health is very, very important.
[23:58]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[23:58]
Giannis Pappas
And it's. You gotta take care of your roof. If it's got a leak.
[24:01]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[24:02]
Giannis Pappas
Call a roofer.
[24:03]
Chris DiStefano
Call a roofer. Because we want you to stay on the beam and we think one of the best ways to stay on the beam is Talkspace. Talkspace is the leading provider of online therapy, AKA roofing service. And it helps you face whatever is holding you back. With a caring licensed therapist, it's easy to get started.
[24:19]
Giannis Pappas
You can sign up online, get paired with a licensed provider, typically within 48 hours. You can take your appointment from the comfort and privacy of your home and exchange text, voice or video message with your therapist too.
[24:32]
Chris DiStefano
That's what I like. Take care of yourself this month and every month with Talkspace. Talk Space is an in network with most major insurance plans. But if you pay out of pocket as a listener of this podcast, you're going to get $80 off your first month. 8 0$80 off your first month. That's a nice discount with Talkspace. When you go to talkspace.com/hyenas, that's H Y E N A S and enter promo code space80 that's S P A C E 80. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.com hyenas and enter promo code space80. Get 80 bones off.
[25:10]
Giannis Pappas
Yes.
[25:11]
Chris DiStefano
Guys, even though we know there's a very limited amount of black people listening to this podcast, we do want to talk to you about Cash App. So Cash App. It's a safe, easy and fast way to send receive a transfer money to family and friends.
[25:25]
Giannis Pappas
I think we got probably more than you know.
[25:26]
Chris DiStefano
I do. We do. So then this is the Namians love us. Our, our black fans. Probably. Here's the thing, probably if you're in the black community, which is a great community, is you're using Cash out.
[25:40]
Giannis Pappas
Using Cash App.
[25:41]
Chris DiStefano
Use Cash app.
[25:41]
Giannis Pappas
And it's got a great name Cash app.
[25:43]
Chris DiStefano
It's got a great name Cash App. And I like Cash App. And here's the thing, there's no waiting on Cash app. Did your money show up Right away. No. You know, you don't wait around for days. It's your money. You shouldn't have to wait. That's why Cash app saved you by letting you send the money fast. They send it fast. If you're about to send money to a sketchy account, scam warning pops up. They will tell you, hey, this is a scam, baby. So they let you know they're doing the work for you. They're watching your back and you feel way more relaxed on Cash app has your back.
[26:13]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. Talk about how you customize your payment to your friends. Oh, that's an instruction to us. Yeah, yeah. So that's what you do. You customize your payments, your friends, you say, hey, this was for pizza money.
[26:23]
Chris DiStefano
It's what it is now. For a limited time only, new cash app users can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For cash for real? There's no catch. Just download Cash app use our code Hyenas. When you sign up, send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you're going to get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply. That's money. That's cash out.
[26:43]
Giannis Pappas
I mean, the kids just got a black name.
[26:44]
Chris DiStefano
Jamuka's got a black name.
[26:46]
Giannis Pappas
I mean, is. That's not an Asian name? Jamuka.
[26:48]
Chris DiStefano
Jamuka, yeah.
[26:49]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, that's a black dude.
[26:51]
Chris DiStefano
Now he. Who Jamuka is, is. He is basically a friend from another noble family. So he grew up kind of like Genghis Khan. But he didn't grow up as Genghis Khan. Grew up nice.
[27:00]
Giannis Pappas
Well, first he grew up nice and then he became just like a fucking peasant when his dad died.
[27:04]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, well, chinguskan.
[27:05]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, chingus.
[27:05]
Chris DiStefano
But I'm saying he still was. He's. There's still levels of the hierarchy and the rulers in Mongolian society. And Jamuka was, yes, he was considered elite, but he was low level elite. It was kind of like a bullshit elite. It was kind of like, it's kind of like, you know, like you kind of have to make believe like it's a big deal and you actually care.
[27:26]
Giannis Pappas
When you're like a European royalty now.
[27:28]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. It's like it doesn't matter.
[27:29]
Giannis Pappas
Prince in Norway or something.
[27:30]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. Or it's like, you know, when people stop with the fucking comparison. Okay, maybe we should just edit that one out.
[27:38]
Giannis Pappas
Maybe just cackle that whole part. Leave it on the patriot. It's just a joke. We're just having a good time. That's what Schmitty said. Schmitty hates.
[27:47]
Chris DiStefano
He.
[27:47]
Giannis Pappas
He takes the problem With Schmitty is he takes his rivalry with the Celtics and the Patriots too far. Too far. So he told us to, he said, compared to the big thing in the city. But really, he was just talking about the New York Knicks.
[28:01]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. Nothing by it. Yeah, he's just watching the documentary.
[28:04]
Giannis Pappas
It was. It was. It's. It's an analogy. Knicks versus Celtics.
[28:07]
Chris DiStefano
All the ones. And I apologize to anyone who got. You know, I didn't mean that. Nothing by that.
[28:16]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[28:16]
Chris DiStefano
You know, sometimes you just got to play pretend a lot live and, you.
[28:19]
Giannis Pappas
Know, and kid Schmitty, I tell you, he's wild. He's crazy.
[28:23]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. And I apologize. You know, Schmitty, I. I do apologize, but maybe there's a better example out there, but I just couldn't really think of what, you know, you might be. I don't know, like, what's something that, like, we got to make believe we care about, but we really know?
[28:35]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah.
[28:35]
Chris DiStefano
Like. Like, you know, like people with peanut allergies. It's like, you really don't. You don't have a peanut allergy. You're just a narcissist. You're just a kid that you got to make everything about you. You really don't have a peanut allergy. You show me a kid with a peanut allergy, I'll show you the parents being a. The most annoying people you ever meet in your life.
[28:49]
Giannis Pappas
That's right.
[28:49]
Chris DiStefano
Nobody's got a peanut allergy. It comes from a normal family.
[28:51]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[28:51]
Chris DiStefano
There's all something, because you got to. They don't exist.
[28:54]
Giannis Pappas
And they're not allergic to peanuts. No. And they never tell you what the real reason why peanut allergies is. Let me look. I want to see that kid's vaccine record. Yeah. What kind of vaccines did he get?
[29:03]
Chris DiStefano
I'll tell you who doesn't have peanut allergies is the Chinese kids, these Mongolian kids. No peanut allergies, no vaccine. You don't see any peanut allergies.
[29:10]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah. And you know what it is?
[29:12]
Chris DiStefano
You know what it is? You know what the precursor is to have a peanut allergy? You know, you got to have, number one, a heart.
[29:17]
Giannis Pappas
You got to have a heart. Yes.
[29:18]
Chris DiStefano
You got to have a heart.
[29:19]
Giannis Pappas
You got to ask why? And you got to have a heart.
[29:22]
Chris DiStefano
You got to have a heart.
[29:23]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're just talking about these Mongolian kids. They would. They would fucking attack you like jiggers. No, no, I'm talking about the bugs. There's a bug named chiggers. Oh, is it? Yeah. What are you guys freaking out about.
[29:39]
Chris DiStefano
I don't know.
[29:40]
Giannis Pappas
You never heard of chiggers? They're an actual bug called Chiggers.
[29:43]
Chris DiStefano
Oh, okay.
[29:44]
Giannis Pappas
They're in the Midwest.
[29:45]
Chris DiStefano
All right.
[29:45]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. I don't. Their name is there. Okay, okay. They're called chiggers.
[29:48]
Chris DiStefano
I didn't hear.
[29:49]
Giannis Pappas
You never heard of chiggers, Jesse, you know chiggers? Sure.
[29:51]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[29:51]
Giannis Pappas
It's just the name of a bug.
[29:53]
Chris DiStefano
All right.
[29:53]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[29:54]
Chris DiStefano
So. All right. So.
[29:55]
Giannis Pappas
So, yeah. So.
[29:56]
Chris DiStefano
Okay.
[29:57]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, that's Bert. Rudy. I don't remember which one's which. Yeah, he's a character piece.
[30:02]
Chris DiStefano
So. Okay. So let's talk about John McQuad.
[30:04]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[30:05]
Chris DiStefano
Do you know about him?
[30:07]
Giannis Pappas
Jamaquai Jamar. So he was his friend.
[30:10]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, he just. Fan.
[30:12]
Giannis Pappas
So they were good friends. They ended up sleeping. They started sleeping in the same room together.
[30:16]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[30:16]
Giannis Pappas
Started saying rumors these kids were fucking banging again. It's just what it is. These things repeat themselves. Alexander the Great, great conqueror. Genghis Khan, great conqueror. What do they have in common? Fucking. They love cornholes. They love buttholes. They love. Guys have male love in their life.
[30:32]
Chris DiStefano
Yummy, yummy in my. Yeah. So what happened, though, is Chamoqua. He's a little cocky, a little arrogant. Chingis Khan. So, you know, you think in history. Because, you know, the way he was portrayed. The way he was portrayed and not at the museum, you think, which is where I get all my history information from his night at the Museum of Ben Stiller. You think that he was a, you know, couldn't even speak and he was a. You know, he was. He was. He was a Mongolian acting like a Mongol.
[30:55]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[30:55]
Chris DiStefano
And. But none of this was true. He's very sophisticated, actually. More intelligent than you thought. Again, sophisticated society. He was more humble. He was more respectful of the Mongolian spirituality and all that, where this kid Jamuka was very arrogant, kind of like a rich kid who was given everything and was just really annoying and started pissing people off. But then what he started to do is he started to rise up in the ranks. And even though they were BFFs, when you start to rise up, you start to say, you know what? Maybe I should be the head. I should be the head of all this. And then him and him and Genghis Khan go from friends to rivals because the Jamuku kid, see, Genghis Khan had respect. When he would kill someone in battle, the Jamuka kid, no respect. He would boil people alive. He would. He would torture them. He would do all these things. He would kill the nobility. So the guys who were fighting for John Muquis kind of said, you know what? I don't like this. I think I'm going to go to Genghis Khan side. And here's one thing Genghis Khan valued above anything else is loyalty. Loyalty, loyalty. So there was actually a story of Jamuqua going on the run and, you know, he had to escape somewhere, and he got turned in to Genghis Khan by his own guys. And they brought him to the. To Chinggis Khan, saying, look, we got your arrival here. And Genghis Khan turned around and killed the guys who brought Jamil Kwan, left Yamaqua alive because he's like, loyalty's number one and these guys ain't loyal.
[32:20]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. The thing about Genghis Khan is he was brilliant. He was pragmatic. He was brilliant. He was a master of psychological warfare. He constantly would make it seem that his numbers were bigger than they were with big fires, dummies, drums. But he did stuff like this, too, where you make people respect you by doing that. Yes. Look, I. And you also make them scared, going like, I am so big on loyalty. Even though these guys thought they were doing a good thing by bringing this guy to me, I'm going to assassinate those guys for being disloyal to him. Yeah, yeah.
[32:52]
Chris DiStefano
As a matter of fact, Chingis Khan is in a.
[32:54]
Giannis Pappas
Smart.
[32:55]
Chris DiStefano
A small kid. He was in a battle, you know, a random battle. Chingus Con only lost two battles his whole life. One of these ones, he.
[33:02]
Giannis Pappas
That's what. That's when I heard that. That I was really. It was really nice for me, because Alexander the Great is still the undefeated Goat. Floyd Mayweather of Conquerors will give this guy what he's probably who Roy Jones Jr. Lost twice. Yeah, right. So there you go. This is the Roy Jones Jr. Of conquerors. But Alexander the Great, the great Greek is still the best boxer of all time.
[33:25]
Chris DiStefano
Yes. And. And, and, and it actually makes sense because Roy Jones junior's son's name is Jamaqua.
[33:29]
Giannis Pappas
So there you have it.
[33:30]
Chris DiStefano
What it is. It makes sense. Yeah. So. But, but he basically, Genghis Khan. Genghis Khan had a. Had a very love. Beloved horse. And the horse gets shot out by an arrow in the middle of this. In the middle of a battle.
[33:44]
Giannis Pappas
Exactly. On the Internet. Yes.
[33:46]
Chris DiStefano
Yes. And that. That could be seen@patreon.com history hyenas. So, yeah, so. So he. By the way, we got to go on a little tour of Europe next year. We got to go on a hyenas tour.
[33:57]
Giannis Pappas
Of Europe. I want to do it bad. I want to prance with you. Yeah.
[34:01]
Chris DiStefano
Because basically what happened. And we'll get right back into Mongolian history, but basically what happened is last week, I bought Giannis for his birthday, which is in five months. I bought him. I bought him. I bought us two tickets to go on a Dutch colonial walking tour of downtown New York. And then Giannis told me at the last minute he couldn't make it. So I went with Jasmine. I went with Jasmine. And Jasmine asked a question, and the only question she asked of this very, very, very, so dedicated Dutch colonial walking tour, which was awesome. And we learned all about history. The only question Jasmine asked is she raised her hand and she said, I wanted to ask you, do. Are these Dutch people, are they the ones that make Dutch masters? And then the guy said, I don't. Not familiar with Dutch masters. She was like, oh, I used to use them when I was a kid. And she just used to roll her weed in Dutch masses. And that's the question. Yeah, we asked. But then she was great. And I took her to Paris, AKA Predomanjer. Everyone was happy.
[34:48]
Giannis Pappas
Everyone's happy.
[34:49]
Chris DiStefano
A night in France and Dutch.
[34:50]
Giannis Pappas
It was a nice international day for her.
[34:52]
Chris DiStefano
She was like. And that's. The country is Dutch. That's what they said.
[34:55]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, I went to Dutch land.
[34:57]
Chris DiStefano
I went to Dutch land.
[34:58]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[34:58]
Chris DiStefano
So it was great. And we. Awesome. And we held hands. And it's a beautiful thing. So Beautiful thing. But so this guy, his name was. So the. The. He lines up all the generals of the. Of the people that they just defeated. And Genghis Khan says, which one? He basically, which one? You pieces of shit shot out my horse.
[35:15]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[35:15]
Chris DiStefano
And most people would say, never cop to that. But this one guy, Jeb, very brave. Bravely. Says Bush. Jeb Bush says, it was me. It was me. I shot out the horse and just stared at Genghis Khan. And instead of killing him, Genghis Khan, again, value valuing loyalty and respect. He says, you're a brave man. I'm going to kill every other general, but you're with me now. You're my general. And he just put him in charge of one of those. Those 10,000 troops. He gave Jeb a whole section of it, and he wound up becoming one of his best generals.
[35:46]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. One of the great things about Genghis Khan was he was very, very, very smart about the generals that he picked. When military historians look back, they say that was probably the. That was probably his strength. His biggest strength was choosing the right Generals to fight for him.
[36:02]
Chris DiStefano
He was, again, like George Washington, who just knew when to retreat and knew when to fight on. He just knew when he was going to lose. And it's just very important. And by the way, we're about 30 minutes into the episode. I just want to take a quick moment to remind you guys of. I want you to think of three things today. I want you to think of three things that will help you throughout your day today. First thing, I want you to wake up every day, and I want you to say to count your blessings, and I want you to be grateful, and I want you to walk through life with gratefulness. The second thing I want you to do is I want you to proclaim your rarity. I want you to know and remember that you are rare. There is. You are one of one. There will never be anyone like you, and there's never been anyone like you. So Proclaim your rarity. 3. What I Want you to do is always make sure that you go the extra mile. Okay? Do a little bit extra today and every day. And these are the three rules I want you to live by. I am on the beam.
[36:50]
Giannis Pappas
Every episode. We got to give you a beam cast.
[36:53]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[36:53]
Giannis Pappas
That was a quick beam cast.
[36:54]
Chris DiStefano
That was a quick beam cast.
[36:55]
Giannis Pappas
That was a. That was a beam cast interlude. It has nothing to do with the episode.
[36:59]
Chris DiStefano
It's just.
[37:00]
Giannis Pappas
We want you out there to be on the beam.
[37:02]
Chris DiStefano
Yes. And I also want to say that we confirmed because we were a little nervous, but Chingis Khan. I am saying it correctly, and Chingis Khan is historically accurate, and we are not making any kind of jokes. We are on the line, but we are on the beam.
[37:14]
Giannis Pappas
We're on the line on the beam. Also, chiggers. Schmitty is right. Is an actual insect. They're called chiggers. What they do is they bite you. And so it is an apt metaphor to call the Mongolians an invasion of chiggers, because stay on the beach. They swarm. No, they swarm you and they bite you like that. They swarm you. They overwhelm you. The chiggers sneaky, right? Yeah, they're right. They get on you and. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that. Jesse said that, thankfully.
[37:43]
Chris DiStefano
Off the bike, off the mic. Yeah. And it's. And it's what it is.
[37:46]
Giannis Pappas
No, Jesse, they don't carry cans.
[37:48]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, no, that's not. You don't find them. You don't find them in your Newport cigarettes.
[37:52]
Giannis Pappas
You don't. Yeah. They don't eat a Styrofoam. That's bad.
[37:54]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, yeah. Okay, but. But that. But you can't run in sandals. Yeah. So Genghis Khan.
[38:00]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[38:01]
Chris DiStefano
So my guy, Chinggis Khan. 1206 is a big year.
[38:04]
Giannis Pappas
Big, big.
[38:05]
Chris DiStefano
Because what happens here in 1206? Because Chingus Khan, now I believe he's in his. What year was Chingis Khan born? Can you just scroll up? I wanted to make sure I have this right. I think it was like 11. 1162. So Chingus Khan is already 44 years old. But don't forget, here's another thing. Much like Jesus.
[38:22]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[38:23]
Chris DiStefano
There's 10 years of Chingus's Khan's life that's just. It's not accounted for.
[38:27]
Giannis Pappas
Right.
[38:27]
Chris DiStefano
He was. So he's only written about from the Chinese.
[38:31]
Giannis Pappas
Right.
[38:31]
Chris DiStefano
So. So there's a. There's all these years where Chinggis Khan is just on the steps up, just prancing around.
[38:36]
Giannis Pappas
What was he doing, you think?
[38:37]
Chris DiStefano
No, I mean, if I had to get sudoka. If I had to guess, he was probably just bashing skulls, breaking backs and grape.
[38:45]
Giannis Pappas
And so he's probably doing it in between a little game of mahjong.
[38:48]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. It's nice to know that Mongolian society and a lot of societies, you were just allowed to have secondary wives.
[38:54]
Giannis Pappas
You just were. I mean, you just were living out there in the wilderness. These were the white walkers of the time for the Chinese.
[39:00]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[39:00]
Giannis Pappas
And the Chinese were like, these guys are wild. They keep raiding us. We got to build again.
[39:04]
Chris DiStefano
Right.
[39:05]
Giannis Pappas
Big, beautiful wall.
[39:06]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[39:06]
Giannis Pappas
To keep them out. They were. That wall was to keep the Mongolians out.
[39:09]
Chris DiStefano
It was.
[39:09]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[39:10]
Chris DiStefano
So, Jesse, could you do me a favor? Could you go on chat GPT and just put in 1206, Chinggis Khan. Because in 12, I want to get some of these names right. Basically, in 1206, basically, it is decided that Chinggis Khan will unite all of Mongolia and just be the top Mongolian.
[39:25]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. The con. They. They. That was like, I guess it was a Caesar for Mongolians. You know, the Khan is a title.
[39:32]
Chris DiStefano
Right.
[39:32]
Giannis Pappas
So Chinggis Khan.
[39:34]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[39:35]
Giannis Pappas
It's almost like Caesar.
[39:36]
Chris DiStefano
This is a big thing because, you know, the man, the kid born Temujin, whose father gets killed, who's poor, who has to go all through the steps and the lands and doesn't know where the hell he's going to go, and could have wound up becoming an alcoholic, playing the otb. Instead, the kid is going to be the ruler of all Mongolia.
[39:52]
Giannis Pappas
At one point, though, it was noted that the kid was kind of maybe addicted to alcohol.
[39:56]
Chris DiStefano
The kid liked to drink, kid liked to booze. A Little bit. But you know what? If you're living life on the mongolian steppe in 1206, you might need a little. You might need a few vets, move a few vegetables, especially if you're sitting on the steps.
[40:06]
Giannis Pappas
That's what you do is you move vegetables. That's what happens.
[40:08]
Chris DiStefano
That's what I'm saying. You're on the steps, AKA the neutrals. Remove it a few veggies. And Annalien is just there for you. Yeah.
[40:13]
Giannis Pappas
And you. You speak. You're actually speaking to your mom. Hold on.
[40:16]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[40:17]
Giannis Pappas
Very close to Lynn Lit. Hold on. And you're moving a couple of veggies, having a couple Sam Adams, and discussing war plans.
[40:22]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, it's just what it is.
[40:23]
Giannis Pappas
And Eileen.
[40:24]
Chris DiStefano
So tell me. So, so basically, Genghis Khan is going to become this. There's an event called a cure all tie, a cural tie, which is basically a kind of you get all the warlords, you get everybody from Mongolia together in this one place, and they. And Genghis Khan, which. That name translates into universal ruler. And this event officially united Mongolia and transformed the region from a group of scattered tribes into a single powerful nation. So 1206 is a big, big year. The reason why Mongolia still exists today, the reason why you're going to eat Mongolian chicken, if you're ever at a mall or, you know, somewhere in, like, downtown Los Angeles, US, it's because of 1206.
[41:03]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. When 1206 happened, the Chinese said, oh, boy, we're in trouble.
[41:07]
Chris DiStefano
Right?
[41:07]
Giannis Pappas
We're in trouble.
[41:08]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[41:09]
Giannis Pappas
Fucking. They unified those tribes that, you know, they weren't that much of a threat because they were tribes. Now they're one. And, boy, they're about to storm that wall.
[41:17]
Chris DiStefano
Yes. And this is where this Mongolian empire is really born. The Genghis Khan. Genghis Khan you've read about, you've learned about, you've seen at night at the museum with Ben Stiller is that this is. It all happens. 1206. And this is where he gets wild.
[41:30]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, he gets wild. And he's. One of the first things he does is he looks at that wall and he says, we're going over it.
[41:37]
Chris DiStefano
He goes over.
[41:38]
Giannis Pappas
And so what happens is they just, you know, they just pick one spot of the wall and they just go over it. And the Chinese like, what? What was the point of this wall?
[41:48]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[41:48]
Giannis Pappas
I mean, the wall did not work.
[41:50]
Chris DiStefano
It just doesn't work because it worked. It's just a wall.
[41:52]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[41:53]
Chris DiStefano
Now, we're gonna be right back after this quick break with Giannis's notes. Because I only watched the first three episodes of that Hulu documentary I just copied and pasted to Trump. Cuz you know me. And the one thing that I love more or as much as the United States, America is a rock hardcock.
[42:09]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. And I also know that Debo likes to take Blue Cho.
[42:13]
Chris DiStefano
He likes it.
[42:13]
Giannis Pappas
Patty likes bluecho.
[42:15]
Chris DiStefano
Blue Chew is sponsoring this episode and we appreciate it. I want you to have better sex with Blue Chew, their chewable tablets for better sex. Because a lot of you guys out there can't swallow.
[42:24]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, that's right. Bluechew won't stop until every man is bricked up like a brick house. That's the mission. That's what they're all about, is making you hot.
[42:34]
Chris DiStefano
And the Blue Chew tablets are made right here in the usa. So you got red, white and blue boners. And like I told you, you've been sending me, you guys have been sending me pictures of your rock hard cocks to my dm and I'm telling you, I know which ones are Blue Chew and which ones aren't.
[42:47]
Giannis Pappas
So make life easier by getting harder and discover your options@bluechew.com and we've got a special deal for our listeners exclusively tried. Buy your first month of Blue Truth free. When you use the promo code Hyenas. H Y E N A s. Just pay $5 shipping. That's it. That's promo code HYENAS. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And as always, we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the history Hyenas. Because let me tell you something. You know how I do it? I grow my beard and then I shave it. And you know what I shave it with?
[43:19]
Chris DiStefano
What?
[43:19]
Giannis Pappas
Harry's.
[43:20]
Chris DiStefano
Cuz. Cause you're shaved right now. You got a hairy face right now.
[43:23]
Giannis Pappas
I actually love Harry's because Harry's takes your Harry face and it makes it nice and clean.
[43:28]
Chris DiStefano
Because, and, and Harry's just a fun name. I like a guy named Harry.
[43:32]
Giannis Pappas
I love a guy named Harry.
[43:34]
Chris DiStefano
You know what I like about Harry too? The prices are no joke. They got nice prices right now you get a ten dollar trial set for just five bucks at Harry's.com history hyenas. That's an exclusive offer just for our listeners. Yes, I like that.
[43:48]
Giannis Pappas
And look, it's a quality product. It is a nice razor. You can, you can get the, you know, repeatable razors. It's very nice. I use Harry's personally.
[43:57]
Chris DiStefano
Guys. Do you know why the blades are so good?
[43:59]
Giannis Pappas
Why?
[43:59]
Chris DiStefano
Because they're made.
[44:00]
Giannis Pappas
Why?
[44:00]
Chris DiStefano
Because they're made in Germany.
[44:02]
Giannis Pappas
Well, then you know.
[44:03]
Chris DiStefano
Then you know it's top tier.
[44:05]
Giannis Pappas
It's top tier engineering. That's how you know they're in that factory.
[44:08]
Chris DiStefano
German factory. They're making those blades and assless chaps.
[44:11]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, they're doing it good.
[44:13]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[44:14]
Giannis Pappas
So it's a quality product. German engineered Blaze. Customizable delivery options for scheduled refills as low as 2 bucks. Half what you pay for other big brands. That's why so many people love Harry's because you got to keep refilling and they just send it.
[44:27]
Chris DiStefano
They do it.
[44:28]
Giannis Pappas
Bucks. Yeah.
[44:28]
Chris DiStefano
Get the shaving products that always deliver. Get Harry's. Normally their trial set is ten dollars, but right now you can get it for just five dollars at harry's.comhistory hyenas. That is our exclusive link. Harry's.comhistory hyenas for a five dollar trial set.
[44:43]
Giannis Pappas
Good deal.
[44:44]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. Pull up the squeak of the week while you understand his notes. I just want to show you that we used to do a bit where we would have squeak of the week. We would have my friend Debo come on and, and, and just tell us who his squeak of the week is because he's a five foot three kid. But we found a fun. Jesse actually found a fun squeak of the week. And when we find him, we're gonna bring him back. And here it is. We're looking at him. This is a tweet from Tara Bull. And this is our squeak of the week. And this man, this is jamuqua.
[45:11]
Giannis Pappas
Look at this kid.
[45:12]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, this kid's just a squeak. He's a jack. He's squeak.
[45:15]
Giannis Pappas
Look at that kid.
[45:16]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[45:17]
Giannis Pappas
That's basically what if he was on horseback, what the Mongols look like.
[45:20]
Chris DiStefano
Look like. They're small kids, Jack. Kids that will just hit you with a couple of bows and arrows and it's just what it is. He'll bang out your wife.
[45:26]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[45:26]
Chris DiStefano
So this is our squeak of the week. Thank you. Terrible 808.
[45:29]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[45:30]
Chris DiStefano
All right. So now, because you know what it is too, cuz is with these, with the Mongolians is, you know, you. We simp a lot of times in history class. You know, we really only get taught like European history. But this Asian history is so fascinating. And these people did just as great things as the Europeans. It's just they're not as talked about because we don't really learn history from the Asian mindset. We learn it from the European mindset, which is. It's not cute.
[45:58]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[45:59]
Chris DiStefano
Because the way that I've studied the Jew, you need to study the Asian.
[46:01]
Giannis Pappas
And then we'll be unstoppable because they're very good at carpentamentalizing.
[46:05]
Chris DiStefano
If you literally. If you literally can study the Asian like I've studied the Jew, we will be king. Chigger.
[46:12]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. Genghis Khan had a few great quotes that he's known for. One of them was, if you're afraid, don't do it. If you're doing it, don't be afraid. So in other words, say it again. If you're afraid, don't do it. All right. You're afraid, don't do it. Right. It's a warning sign. But if you're doing it, don't be afraid.
[46:35]
Chris DiStefano
Like it?
[46:35]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. Just, you know, live with your choice.
[46:38]
Chris DiStefano
It's basically. It goes the same way. As Gary Vee said, there's no right decisions. There's no wrong decisions. There's just decisions, visions.
[46:44]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, that's right. That's right.
[46:45]
Chris DiStefano
Remember the three things to live by today. Wake up every day and be grateful. Count your blessings. Proclaim your rarity. There's only one copy of you. And then make sure that you're always going the extra mile.
[46:55]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. And his name was Chingis Khan. So you can. You could call his soldiers if you wanted to. Chingers.
[47:02]
Chris DiStefano
You could.
[47:02]
Giannis Pappas
They're Chingers. Right, Right. So I wasn't that off by the chigger bug, because, you know, his name was Chingus Khan. So they were following him. The great thing about his rule. Right. Which was not long. Right. Because he gave his son some power.
[47:17]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[47:17]
Giannis Pappas
They were basically Uday and Kuse and they messed it up. Right?
[47:20]
Chris DiStefano
Yes.
[47:20]
Giannis Pappas
But his grandson carried on his legacy for a little while, but the Mongolian empire was very short. But what they did do that was.
[47:27]
Chris DiStefano
Black Mongolians in general were just very short, basically. Yeah.
[47:31]
Giannis Pappas
So basically, they started by conquering the Jin dynasty in northern China. They use psychological warfare, siege tactics. They took city after city, famously or infamously, depending on how you. Whose side you were on, massacring tens of thousands.
[47:46]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[47:47]
Giannis Pappas
They were brutal. They introduced gunpowder siege weapons because they would hire Chinese engineers to help them. So they. They would evolve as they went.
[47:56]
Chris DiStefano
Right.
[47:57]
Giannis Pappas
Because all they were was guys on horseback with bows and arrows.
[47:59]
Chris DiStefano
Right.
[48:00]
Giannis Pappas
Made out of, like, animal bone. Right. And then they started using Chinese weapons. The Chinese had gunpowder. Right. And so just to fast forward a little bit, one of, I guess you can't make omelets without breaking heads type of thinking is one of the great things that was a Consequence of Genghis Khan's empire was that this is what bridged the east and the west via the famous Silk Road.
[48:25]
Chris DiStefano
Silk Road.
[48:26]
Giannis Pappas
Now, Genghis Khan was notorious for being nice to merchants and big on trade. Okay, right, so he's big on trade. He was big on meritocracy. He would conquer the places. He let people keep their religions. He took people based on their skill, and he put them in certain places based on their skill. If you were. If you were loyal to him, if you. If you gave up without a fight, he spared everyone. Right? But if you put up a resistance, he massacred and he let a few survivors go just so they could spread fear.
[48:56]
Chris DiStefano
I kind of like his thinking, though.
[48:58]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, he was kind of a master of psychological warfare that way. But he always protected the Silk Road. There was this expression that you could go from one end of the Silk Road to the other end of the Silk Road carrying gold, and nobody would.
[49:10]
Chris DiStefano
Rob you because he. He knew that if you mess with that, it's like, why the cartel members in Mexico don't kill random American tourists. Because they're like, we need them to buy the coke.
[49:20]
Giannis Pappas
Right, right, exactly.
[49:22]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[49:22]
Giannis Pappas
So it was just a very safe transit route out.
[49:25]
Chris DiStefano
Got it.
[49:26]
Giannis Pappas
So he conquered. He climbs over the wall. He kills all the Chinese. He conquers them. Then he goes to Central Asia. He conquers the Asia. The. Yeah, the Asia. He conquers the shore. Mezian Empire.
[49:38]
Chris DiStefano
Because I want some shawarma.
[49:41]
Giannis Pappas
He kills them. He. He conquers all the way up to Russia, Eastern Europe. He kills them. They reached all the way to Poland, Hungary, nearly Vienna. I mean, this was huge.
[49:53]
Chris DiStefano
Biggest empire, more land than anyone.
[49:55]
Giannis Pappas
Anyone. Dude, like the size of.
[49:57]
Chris DiStefano
They start crushing the Europe.
[49:58]
Giannis Pappas
Europeans, yeah, they got. They get all the way the Middle East. He. He didn't live to conquer Baghdad, but his successors did. His grandson, who.
[50:08]
Chris DiStefano
Who.
[50:08]
Giannis Pappas
Laga Khan destroyed the Abbasin Caliphate in 1258.
[50:14]
Chris DiStefano
Right.
[50:14]
Giannis Pappas
So, you know, Christians are probably happy about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. War makes for strange bedfellows. They're probably like, okay, yeah, you know.
[50:21]
Chris DiStefano
We don't mind that one.
[50:22]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. You took out one of the guys we don't like.
[50:24]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, don't touch Austria. But, like, you could do whatever you want with that.
[50:26]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he. On one of his final seizures, he falls off his horse. The kid fell off his horse, pulled the.
[50:35]
Chris DiStefano
Christopher Reeves.
[50:35]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, Christopher Reeves. Christopher Reeves did when he was 62, and he fell off his horse. And I think he lived for a little while after that, but he was never the same yeah, he was never the same. And then he was died and he was buried in a secret tomb because the Mongols had this, you know, tradition where they didn't want anyone to mess with the graves, right. So they put you in a secret tomb. They'd put you in the, in the ground with a bunch of slaves. They'd mix everything up, animals, everything. Then they'd cover it up and then the horses would stampede over it.
[51:07]
Chris DiStefano
Right.
[51:07]
Giannis Pappas
So it just like covers it all up and makes it unmarkable.
[51:11]
Chris DiStefano
So we don't really know where his body is.
[51:12]
Giannis Pappas
And then supposedly the rumor is is that everyone that attended the funeral was executed so nobody could talk about where he was buried.
[51:19]
Chris DiStefano
It's just what it is.
[51:20]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. So that's just how they did things.
[51:21]
Chris DiStefano
The kid just didn't play games.
[51:23]
Giannis Pappas
They just didn't play that society didn't play games. So they basically. The Mongol empire ended up stretching from Korea to Hungary, from Siberia to the Persian Gulf. And historians call it a Pax Mongolica. So there was like some unified these places and there was like a little bit of a piece supposedly, right. Like, you know, it's. It's another. The most famous Pax is the Pax Romana, which was like under Roman law. Everyone was chilling, writing was cool. There was a Pax Romana. But I think this was probably a little different, right? It was a little different than the Pax. Although the Romans were brutal too. I think I'd rather live under the Pax Romano than the Pax Mongolia. Because if you stepped out of line, your head was getting cut off and you're getting boiled like a chick.
[52:06]
Chris DiStefano
It's just what it is.
[52:07]
Giannis Pappas
That's just what happened.
[52:08]
Chris DiStefano
Who do you think wins in a fight? The best Mongolian warriors versus the best Greek Spartans. Who wins in a fight?
[52:13]
Giannis Pappas
Spartans really could hold it down. It's a. That's a tough one. That's a good question.
[52:18]
Chris DiStefano
Because the Spartans will be able to kill you with a little bit of cum dripping out of their but butt.
[52:21]
Giannis Pappas
That's. I think that's what came.
[52:26]
Chris DiStefano
Right.
[52:26]
Giannis Pappas
I think that's what gave him sec secret powers. Because when you inject a little protein, there's protein and sperm into your butt. It's like a rocket that shoots you off in a battle. Yeah, they were fueled up. They were fueled up and charged up and ready to go and fully confirmed what it is. You don't want to fight fully confirmed warriors in dresses because the Greeks used to fight in dresses, which was another brilliant strategy because let me tell you something, you're an enemy, right? Right. You're an enemy, right. Fighting the Spartans. You're Persia, right.
[52:52]
Chris DiStefano
You're King Darius, right.
[52:53]
Giannis Pappas
You're sitting there, your eunuchs are blowing you, whatever, you got your boy slaves, whatever. And then you just see 400 chicks coming over the hill because they're far away. So you're not threatened. You're on this 400 boys. And so the guys get ready, they're like, oh, we're going to a prom or something. And then you get close and all these dudes got facial hair and thick eyebrows.
[53:12]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[53:12]
Giannis Pappas
And then they start cutting off your peckers.
[53:14]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[53:14]
Giannis Pappas
And you women, cuz it's what it is. It was the biggest bait and switch in history.
[53:19]
Chris DiStefano
I like it.
[53:20]
Giannis Pappas
Like who these, who's these chicks and dresses? And it was dudes.
[53:23]
Chris DiStefano
It was dudes. Yeah. They would just reel you in and it was nice and I like that. We were doing really well, getting everything history. There's probably a history teacher right now that just had to turn this podcast off for his class immediately because he said come in the butt. Chick with dicks. But that's the hyena part the of history.
[53:41]
Giannis Pappas
Because it was estimated that 40 million people died from Mongolian invasions. That's why that's more than.
[53:47]
Chris DiStefano
That's like a day in Stalin's life.
[53:49]
Giannis Pappas
That's all that is.
[53:50]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[53:50]
Giannis Pappas
At its height, the mongol empire covered 12 million square miles. And of course everyone knows the kid everything. So one of the things his people would always whatever they conquered, they would just take all the hot women and bring them to Genghis Khan and he would line them up and he was. Would bang them all. So that's.
[54:09]
Chris DiStefano
I mean the kid did not need a blue chew.
[54:12]
Giannis Pappas
No, he had. Needed no blue. His kid got hard.
[54:14]
Chris DiStefano
Got hard as a rock.
[54:15]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, they didn't even have blue chew back then. This kid was hard. And there is a famous 2003 study that found that 8% of men in Central Asia carry a Y chromosome tracing back to him. My only thing is how can they trace it back to him if they don't even have his body? How do they know that? I'm sure there's some way that they know that or they.
[54:33]
Chris DiStefano
That these studies can just say that. And then how would we know the difference?
[54:36]
Giannis Pappas
We don't know. I mean we're basically saying is what we do know is that the kid did make a lot of wine. It's just washed a lot of grapes. Unfortunately he did. He was a big time, big time graper.
[54:47]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, it's Just what it is. He was a connoisseur. And it's just.
[54:50]
Giannis Pappas
And say the kid had his own vineyard.
[54:52]
Chris DiStefano
He had his own vineyard. And it's just a part of antiquity that's just real that just people would just do that. And by the way, the new term that we have that we're. Giannis said we're confirmed. It's just if you are, we'll say it very simply. You know, we're not going to obviously use any slurs or anything that. But if you are a man who had sex with men, you're confirmed.
[55:08]
Giannis Pappas
Yes.
[55:08]
Chris DiStefano
You just confirmed. And there are other things you can do to be confirmed. Like, Giannis went out with his family this weekend and he ordered a raspberry sorbet. Confirmed.
[55:15]
Giannis Pappas
Confirmed.
[55:15]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, that's something that's confirmed.
[55:17]
Giannis Pappas
You know what was funny about that is he texted me and I sent him a picture of where I was at, and he goes, now, did you order a raspberry sorbet there? Because if you do, you're confirmed. And I actually had. And so I took a picture of the cup with the residue of the raspberry just to prove it. And I was like, how did you know that? I almost got paranoid for a second. Thought you had a camera on.
[55:34]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, C. I just. I always do and I always have. Yeah, yeah. No, because. Because it's just a confirmed type of thing. Because you're a sorbet, sherbet, raspberry kid. Because you're confirmed.
[55:44]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. So this guy's interesting because, you know, that place is interesting now. It's like Azerbaijan.
[55:50]
Chris DiStefano
Yes.
[55:51]
Giannis Pappas
Mongolia.
[55:52]
Chris DiStefano
It's Kazakhstan, Azerbaijan. But. But actually there still is a nation of Mongolia.
[55:57]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, it's a nation of Mongolia now, but over there, it's very funny because, like, the whites turn Asian, the Asians turn whites, and you walk a little south and they turn a little browner. That whole region is just Afghanistan. Afghanistan. They're like whitey Asiany lookingy. And then if you look at the Finnish, it was a mixture of, like, the Germanic tribes and the Asian tribes, probably Mongolian or whatever. So they look like white Asians.
[56:20]
Chris DiStefano
Right.
[56:20]
Giannis Pappas
It's just a. Then you got the Roost people, the Muscovites, which is. Moscow is named after. They were like a tribe. And the Roost people, which became Russia, they were like a tribe. And, you know, you go to Russia a lot. There's like, Russian Asians.
[56:34]
Chris DiStefano
Yes.
[56:34]
Giannis Pappas
Which is wild.
[56:35]
Chris DiStefano
They'll get banged out again.
[56:36]
Giannis Pappas
So you're like. That whole thing is like a. Like a mixed Pot of Middle Easterners, Asians and whites. Yeah, yeah.
[56:44]
Chris DiStefano
Jess, can you go back to what the. Because there was one thing I wanted to talk about too. Just. Yeah, go. Yeah, get that out. This is good. So this is one thing they did. They actually had a legal and administrative system. Now it's called the Yasa Code, but we'll call it the Yasa Code. Genghis Khan implemented a system of laws as known, known as yassa, which it wasn't fully preserved, but it emphasized order, discipline and unity. And this early legal codification influenced later legal traditions. The Mongols also developed detailed administrative systems, including censuses, postal systems, and taxation methods that inspired many state governance things we still have today. So the Mongolians were smart kids.
[57:21]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, And I forgot about the Turkic tribe.
[57:23]
Chris DiStefano
Tell us about that.
[57:24]
Giannis Pappas
Those are the ones that became the Ottomans. So Genghis Khan took control of them too. But then later on, after the Mongolian empire crumbled, guess what came up?
[57:32]
Chris DiStefano
What?
[57:33]
Giannis Pappas
Ottoman. Ottoman. So after that, the Ottomans rose to power, took control of that whole fucking area. So the whites always win.
[57:39]
Chris DiStefano
The whites always win.
[57:40]
Giannis Pappas
But.
[57:41]
Chris DiStefano
But you as a. You as a Greek, you as a Greek, must like. Must like the fact that Genghis Khan was able to beat back the Turks a little bit.
[57:49]
Giannis Pappas
That makes you feel nice. They weren't our enemy yet, but looking back in retrospect, yeah, it was a little nice, you know, and unfortunately, I got. I got grape g. It's what it.
[57:56]
Chris DiStefano
Is, what it is.
[57:57]
Giannis Pappas
Talked about, I think Stavi's podcast.
[57:59]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[57:59]
Giannis Pappas
I have Anatolian genes. Turkic probably in me, but yeah, Turkish people come from a tribe called Turkic. They were. Yeah, but they looked whitish. Yeah, they were kind of whitish.
[58:09]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[58:10]
Giannis Pappas
So they were one of those tribes in there.
[58:11]
Chris DiStefano
In East Asia, unfortunately, your blood is grape juice.
[58:14]
Giannis Pappas
It's grape juice. It's what it is. And that. This is the story of the conquering of the Eurasian step. They call steeps or steps.
[58:23]
Chris DiStefano
I call them steps, because the neutrals.
[58:25]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[58:25]
Chris DiStefano
But I do love that, what you said, that he promoted based on talent and loyalty rather than birth. You know, frickin de. He was not about dei.
[58:32]
Giannis Pappas
He was all about meritocracy.
[58:34]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. He didn't give a shit what you were as long as you were good at it.
[58:36]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, he was really about. He was a really a Republican kid. He just pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and make something of yourself. Yeah, that's really what it is. And he's got some really great famous quotes, though, to give me some scary.
[58:49]
Chris DiStefano
The first one, I like Tell us the first one again.
[58:52]
Giannis Pappas
The first.
[58:52]
Chris DiStefano
You're scared. Don't do it. If you're scared, don't be scared.
[58:54]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. If you're to.
[58:56]
Chris DiStefano
The fourth thing that you should do, do every day in your life and repeat on mantra.
[58:59]
Giannis Pappas
Does that keep you on the beam?
[59:00]
Chris DiStefano
That keeps me on the beat.
[59:01]
Giannis Pappas
Okay, so he said another. A few great quotes that you guys will like was the greatest happiness is to scatter your enemy, to drive him before you to see his cities reduced to ashes.
[59:11]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[59:13]
Giannis Pappas
So the kids.
[59:13]
Chris DiStefano
It feel nice.
[59:14]
Giannis Pappas
It makes him feel nice. For him, that was like looking at a sunset.
[59:17]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. Yeah.
[59:18]
Giannis Pappas
Or for my, like, my dad liked to stare at trees. He just liked to look at a city besieged.
[59:23]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, he liked just women, children and people screaming. Yeah.
[59:26]
Giannis Pappas
He just liked that.
[59:27]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[59:27]
Giannis Pappas
And here was. Here's my favorite one. This is. This is really like a vicious. This is like Pulp Fiction where he recites that Bible verse, I will strike down upon thee. Look at what this kid said. And that was another thing is he said. He. He claimed that he had, you know, deity in him. Like.
[59:45]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, it was a God. Napoleon and Jesus.
[59:46]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. So he goes, I am the punishment of God. If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you. You.
[59:58]
Chris DiStefano
Wow.
[59:58]
Giannis Pappas
The kid was not there to make friends. Yeah.
[60:00]
Chris DiStefano
What the kid had was a bit of a leaky roof.
[60:03]
Giannis Pappas
A leaky roof.
[60:05]
Chris DiStefano
He thought he was God's like, hell angel on earth.
[60:07]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[60:08]
Chris DiStefano
He had a leaky room.
[60:09]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. He said, an action committed in anger is an action doomed to failure. So he always said, keep calm and stay on the beam as well.
[60:16]
Chris DiStefano
That's what it is.
[60:16]
Giannis Pappas
So he's like, burn and pillage, but do it on the beam.
[60:19]
Chris DiStefano
Do it on the beam. Just. Yeah, Box breathe.
[60:21]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, Box breath. And he said this just gives you insight into his character. A man's greatest joy is crushing his enemies.
[60:30]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[60:30]
Giannis Pappas
So he's Dave Portnoy.
[60:32]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. It's just what it is.
[60:33]
Giannis Pappas
Without the vision of a goal, a man cannot manage his own life. Much left, less the lives of others. So this guy was goal oriented.
[60:40]
Chris DiStefano
Yes.
[60:41]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. He was set up little goals and he achieved them.
[60:43]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. And he. And that's what it is. He did it. He did it step by step, step.
[60:47]
Giannis Pappas
By step, literally by steep.
[60:49]
Chris DiStefano
He did it steep by steep. He's not trying to do it all at once.
[60:51]
Giannis Pappas
Yes.
[60:51]
Chris DiStefano
He's getting 1% better.
[60:53]
Giannis Pappas
And that's the way of the cheap jiggers.
[60:55]
Chris DiStefano
Yes.
[60:55]
Giannis Pappas
And he said, that's what they do. They bite you once at a time. Now he said a single arrow is easy. Now this is a good one. This is a good one.
[61:02]
Chris DiStefano
Yes.
[61:02]
Giannis Pappas
This is about cooperation, which was. He was big on. That's why he got the help of the different tribes and everything. He said a single arrow is easily broken.
[61:09]
Chris DiStefano
Right.
[61:10]
Giannis Pappas
But not 10 in a bundle. So if you hold 10, you can't break it. So we're stronger together. Yeah, we're stronger together.
[61:19]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. It's just what it is.
[61:20]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. Me and you found that out when we broke up. Yeah.
[61:23]
Chris DiStefano
We're just stronger together. We're ten in a bunch. And now what we like to do is bundle them up and sit on them.
[61:27]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. And then he said. He also said people conquered on different sides of the lake should be ruled on different sides of the lake.
[61:36]
Chris DiStefano
Wait, what? Say it again.
[61:37]
Giannis Pappas
People conquered on different sides of the lake should be ruled on different sides of the lake.
[61:44]
Chris DiStefano
What does he mean by that?
[61:45]
Giannis Pappas
Basically respecting diversity. Meaning, like if I conquer this guy over here and they're Turkish and I conquered these people over here and they're laser beams.
[61:56]
Chris DiStefano
Right.
[61:56]
Giannis Pappas
So I conquered these eastern Hemis. The Chinese. I conquered these laser beams over here.
[62:00]
Chris DiStefano
Right.
[62:01]
Giannis Pappas
I keep. I conquered these Sandra D's over here.
[62:03]
Chris DiStefano
Right.
[62:04]
Giannis Pappas
I'm gonna rule them as Sandra D's. I'm. Let them be Sandra. It's less problems. Right, Right.
[62:09]
Chris DiStefano
I'm not going to try to make them all just.
[62:11]
Giannis Pappas
I'm not going to make them all Mongolian. I'm just going to rule them and they'll let them be Sandra D's. Got it. Keep their religions with the many gods. You know, Akash can live, live as long as he works for me, it's fine.
[62:21]
Chris DiStefano
That's it.
[62:22]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[62:23]
Chris DiStefano
They keep slapping that knee.
[62:29]
Giannis Pappas
So those are some of his great quotes. He was very.
[62:33]
Chris DiStefano
Drop my pen.
[62:34]
Giannis Pappas
You drop your pen. But you know, historians basically say that without. Without Genghis Khan we would have never got gunpowder. Right.
[62:41]
Chris DiStefano
My pen's by you get my pen. It's by your chair.
[62:43]
Giannis Pappas
We got paper now. It's open by you. Okay. We got paper. Gunpowder. The Silk Road from the Mongolians. Yeah.
[62:50]
Chris DiStefano
Oh, I thought gunpowder in the Chinese.
[62:52]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. But that the trade route.
[62:53]
Chris DiStefano
Got it. Yes.
[62:55]
Giannis Pappas
It all. It all because of the Silk Road.
[62:57]
Chris DiStefano
What the Silk Road was. You want to know what it really was? It was a 5,000 mile long safe space.
[63:02]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, it was totally safe. It was really. Everyone was. He was basically nice to merchants. He was very protective of merchants.
[63:09]
Chris DiStefano
I like that.
[63:09]
Giannis Pappas
So basically he was one of the first people who was Nice. To Jews.
[63:12]
Chris DiStefano
Jews.
[63:12]
Giannis Pappas
Right, right.
[63:14]
Chris DiStefano
It's nice.
[63:16]
Giannis Pappas
I mean, who. The merchants? Right.
[63:18]
Chris DiStefano
Mostly Jewish people. Yeah.
[63:20]
Giannis Pappas
Back to them. So it was a vast network, the Silk Road. It wasn't just a single road. It connected China to the Mediterranean, facilitating the exchange of goods, ideas, technologies and cultures. And that's what helped us evolve in the Western Hemisphere so we could eventually go back and conquer them. It's what it is on some. In some nice sweet opium wars and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. And. And they could get some nice stuff from us.
[63:42]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[63:43]
Giannis Pappas
Like warring ways.
[63:45]
Chris DiStefano
Very nice.
[63:46]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. So everyone won.
[63:47]
Chris DiStefano
Everybody win.
[63:48]
Giannis Pappas
Win. Except for the 40 million people who disappeared off the planet.
[63:51]
Chris DiStefano
Unfortunately, that's just what happened.
[63:53]
Giannis Pappas
That's how it happens in history.
[63:54]
Chris DiStefano
It's how the cookie crumbles. All right.
[63:56]
Giannis Pappas
It's a cookie smash on the floor.
[63:58]
Chris DiStefano
Now, of course, we're going to keep going@patreon.com history hyenas, bonus episodes up there. Continuation maybe of some of this. And we got wild stuff to say out there. There, as always, the newest members of the matriarchy's names will be read out at the end of every episode. So right now we want to welcome the new people. And the best name wins. Ppw, Pseudo Penis of the Week. So welcome to the matriarchy, Josh. Then we got biggest. Okay. I, I.
[64:24]
Giannis Pappas
You got Walked in one.
[64:26]
Chris DiStefano
Can you. I don't know, though, if I have.
[64:31]
Giannis Pappas
You walked in.
[64:32]
Chris DiStefano
Oh, because I saved the nipples. Okay.
[64:35]
Giannis Pappas
Walked in a way one.
[64:36]
Chris DiStefano
Okay. How. Okay, here we go. How could it be her bottleneck?
[64:43]
Giannis Pappas
So you walked into one. You walked into one. But it's, you know, they're creative. It's a walk that one gets to. Walked into an award. Yeah, he's basically saying it. So how could you get them all in there? God, yeah. Efficiently.
[64:57]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. Okay. All right. Not good. Okay. Seth Carter. Then we got Jose Menendez. Was a hell of a balls player. Okay.
[65:07]
Giannis Pappas
Put them on the list.
[65:08]
Chris DiStefano
List.
[65:08]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[65:09]
Chris DiStefano
Okay. Patrick Malone. Puerto Rican Mohican ass man. What up, Sweezy? Brian Schultz. William Papadoulis. One, two, out the floor. Fourteen walked into the one. Yeah. Okay.
[65:26]
Giannis Pappas
Because they're under the floorboards, guys. They hide.
[65:29]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. JD Was Francis's final fissure fight. Okay. Sauce monkey piece. Stretching out my fertile wife's. Okay. Sauce monkey piece stretching out my fertile wife's salsa. Cavernous low ks. Salsa Cave.
[65:48]
Giannis Pappas
Salsa Cave.
[65:49]
Chris DiStefano
Okay. Yeah, sorry, it's too long.
[65:50]
Giannis Pappas
It's a long one, but it's bad reads.
[65:52]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah.
[65:52]
Giannis Pappas
Salsa Cave is good for you. Got a Hispanic wife and you're Calling her Vagina Salsa Cave.
[65:56]
Chris DiStefano
It's very interesting.
[65:57]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[65:57]
Chris DiStefano
Julia Wise. Then we got out in Brooklyn looking for Twink. Out in Brooklyn looking for twinkle pinkos to plumb my stinko. Okay.
[66:07]
Giannis Pappas
The kids out there hunting for gay sex.
[66:09]
Chris DiStefano
Gay kid.
[66:09]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[66:10]
Chris DiStefano
Morgan Dunn, dan Whitehorse, Logan LaChapelle. Andrew Peterson, Tom Sutton, Adam Pacconi, Barnabas Abrams. Burst my girl spleen with my peen while yelling Ladder 14.
[66:23]
Giannis Pappas
I love it. I'm going to put them on the list.
[66:26]
Chris DiStefano
Okay.
[66:27]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. I like the rhyme scheme.
[66:29]
Chris DiStefano
Father Bill's loophole, AKA Low Do. Liam.
[66:35]
Giannis Pappas
It'S a Drex.
[66:36]
Chris DiStefano
More inventive. Father Bill one. That's good. Cam K. Glued caboose pop screws loose. Unlike top de Jews use.
[66:44]
Giannis Pappas
Don't get it.
[66:45]
Chris DiStefano
I don't know. Sorry. Use my Nike SBS Record MP3s for the CCP. Thanks. Bobby. Richard Re.
[66:53]
Giannis Pappas
Bobby Re.
[66:54]
Chris DiStefano
Funny. Andre Boucher. Isaiah Wallace. Footman. Joel Olsteen's Eunuch.
[67:00]
Giannis Pappas
You know he's got one.
[67:01]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. Lee Plush, Uncut and what still needs a suck? Jordan Levy. Red bio for history. Hyena's name. Aaron. Idris Ashy. Elbus. Okay.
[67:15]
Giannis Pappas
Idris Ashy.
[67:18]
Chris DiStefano
Oh, okay. I don't know. Erica Dawn. Slamming tooths with Saddam's glue gun. I'm him. Okay. Jason House, Seth Loose, Invisible Five Two in a Shoe. Adam Westhoff, Gutter Trash Hobo. Galacio Ramirez Munch. JD Just killed the Pope. Vance Kamala's Green and wretched yeast Infected Fecal Exit. Yum. Jesus.
[67:45]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah.
[67:46]
Chris DiStefano
Joe legro, Slonkin Doinks HD3DDY69 Sam McDonald, John Shaw, Subprime Timmy D and his Twink. Matthew Ellenberger. Tim Dillon's Tonsils Full of Glue. Mike Panetera, Jimothy Mountain Man, DY L. Carlos Spicy Wiener, Connor Longo. I started a band with some leaky roofs and franks and beans. Call us Mentally Guthrie.
[68:14]
Giannis Pappas
I like it. I like it. I'm going to give that a Drexler.
[68:18]
Chris DiStefano
Drexler.
[68:18]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[68:19]
Chris DiStefano
Braden Gayer, Arush Al Ahli, Tyler Cully, Ritz Crackers and foreskin cheese. Israel's number one imports.
[68:29]
Giannis Pappas
That's gross.
[68:30]
Chris DiStefano
Gross. Tom Vadnass, J.D. barton Construction. A Frisbee on a heavy dose of Lexapro because I'm off the beam because we killed Jesus.
[68:43]
Giannis Pappas
I would put on the list. That's funny.
[68:45]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah, like that. Nicholas Connors, Jesus Rivera, Ryan Le Claire, Dan Pat, Andre Canteras, Lars Beckham, Chaz tafe stabs, Joseph LaRusso. Some name in Greek. Elvi. Auto Nav. Elvi or Jewish Pamela Gonzalez cutie with the gluey smoothie. Hey, Bum Mifal dressing Chrissy D's jockstrap Jay Ricardo Acala. Cracking cold ones cleaning out Eskimos. Okay, okay.
[69:15]
Giannis Pappas
The kids up there doing his work.
[69:16]
Chris DiStefano
And Alaska Jason Alan d' Cruz. Make no mistake, Epstein's Okay. Make no mistake, Epstein's roof almost made a. Oh. Make no mistake, Epstein's roof almost made a lake. So they're saying the kid had a leaky roof.
[69:33]
Giannis Pappas
Leaky roof. I like that.
[69:35]
Chris DiStefano
Sergio Chacon butt chugs patron to take trannies home.
[69:39]
Giannis Pappas
Put him on the list. List.
[69:45]
Chris DiStefano
Oh, dog. Can't say that walked into one. Nope, can't say that. Darren Korian door Camp Frisbee champ. Okay, walked in. Denise Landman tattooed a barcode on my ass so Chrissy D could scan it with the Yuka app. Hashtag salad shooter glued in my poodle.
[70:03]
Giannis Pappas
Put him on the list.
[70:04]
Chris DiStefano
All right.
[70:04]
Giannis Pappas
Put them on the list.
[70:05]
Chris DiStefano
List.
[70:05]
Giannis Pappas
I mean, guys, creative.
[70:07]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. Raf J. Morales, Jackson Frankel, Adam Daro Bush did the Brooklyn bombings rfk. Trying to cure. It's just what it is, cuz. Piece so crooked I call it Hillary.
[70:20]
Giannis Pappas
Put him on the list. Chicken finger on the list.
[70:23]
Chris DiStefano
Handheld history. Benjamin B. Royston, Sydney Sweeney's tits could never be that big under communism. It's what it is.
[70:31]
Giannis Pappas
Put them on list. Funny.
[70:34]
Chris DiStefano
Luke Fondo, Christian Billy Bob Jotuck, RDO Chromo. Okay, Walked into what? Yeah. Rean Brisbin. Praying on Little St. James made me a believer. Daniel Curtain J. Holtz 123 Brett McIntosh, Demetrius McBagel, Deputy Archivist of the Staten Island Ferry Museum. Tyler Costanzo Used to date a Muzzy, now she hates America. Goldie Kendra Cook, liberal cluck powered by big black bacock. Lucky 33y7. When you're sick of skin flute and you're knocking the boot with a dude who was cute and has splooshed in your shoot, that's a famade. Okay, Huey Gluis and the Jews.
[71:15]
Giannis Pappas
We had that.
[71:16]
Chris DiStefano
Yep. Tess Cazza, Anthony Joshua Williams, Stephen Fisher, New Ham Jew 14. Tony Hinchcliffe is my mother. Griffin Dankle, Christopher Kirby, James B. Rob Bob, Ally Blevins. Live from the tub, it's Yanni Close eyes. Colton Smith, Abby Shapiro's Milkers make my Frisbee spin. Jaker's Freddie, Chris Tucker Back Carlson.
[71:43]
Giannis Pappas
We had something like that.
[71:44]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. The Pope is dead. So is the Catholic church. Chris Castro, Uncle Nam. Whoa, whoa.
[71:51]
Giannis Pappas
Okay.
[71:52]
Chris DiStefano
Call your therapist.
[71:53]
Giannis Pappas
Yes. Drexler. That though funny.
[71:55]
Chris DiStefano
Jonathan Stump, poofist Adriana Blasek, Eric. Timothy Rumble, Alexander Kundevsky, Mitch Gordon, Connor Pratz, Dushan Eberhardt, David Buis, Michael Rice, Donald Miller, Alex L. My fuzzy cousin was a muzzy but ate my pork anyway. Christian Hester.
[72:13]
Giannis Pappas
Nice. Yes. Go with Drexler.
[72:16]
Chris DiStefano
Carter, Connor Macaron, Sean Powell, Ethan Rush, Alex Rio, Benjamin Netanyahu. Shots. Kosher chocolate. Glue. Glue. Carolina Crazy. Colton B. Jonathan Allen. Microwave Sushi. Mushu. Okay, one more page. Meggy D. Microwave Sushi.
[72:33]
Giannis Pappas
Was.
[72:33]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. In the bento box. Yeah. Joe Mackey, Lucci, Samuel Moore, Chris Castro. Uncle Namin. Peen made me scream. Oh, this is a second one. Uncle. Jesus Christ. AKA The Ultimate Frisbee.
[72:50]
Giannis Pappas
Very funny. That's a chicken finger.
[72:52]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. Alexander Kundevsky, Mitch Gordon. Father Bill is friendly with my present. Nice. I like that. That's funny.
[73:00]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. Just stay on the beam.
[73:02]
Chris DiStefano
Dushan Eberhardt, David Buis, Michael Rice. Half Leroy, half Juanita.
[73:07]
Giannis Pappas
They.
[73:08]
Chris DiStefano
Okay.
[73:11]
Giannis Pappas
Sometimes you go in a bad neighborhood, you got to back out.
[73:13]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. Alex L. Romanian Cam Girl. AKA no Fumes Through Zooms.
[73:19]
Giannis Pappas
List.
[73:20]
Chris DiStefano
List. Christian Hester, Carter, Connor Macaron, Sean Powell, Ethan Roush, Alex Rios. Kentucky Derby, AKA Quick Chits.
[73:32]
Giannis Pappas
Got you. Walked into one. Walked in a wine.
[73:35]
Chris DiStefano
Shit. Shit, shit.
[73:36]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[73:37]
Chris DiStefano
Kentucky Derby winner Run. AKA Quick Twitch. Leroy.
[73:42]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah. He walked in and one.
[73:44]
Chris DiStefano
Damn it. Carolina Crazy. Uncle Russell's Pet Cemetery.
[73:50]
Giannis Pappas
Funny.
[73:50]
Chris DiStefano
Colton B. Jonathan Allen, Cara Fritz, Dan, Cesare Baldamenti, Jassic. Make Non not War. AKA Hit him with a bath bomb. Rupees to your troubles.
[74:02]
Giannis Pappas
Directly there.
[74:03]
Chris DiStefano
Rachel Bishop, John Glee, Ivan Herrera, Big g. Devin Iron Gill. 20. Brandon Swain, Peter Meisenberger, Jacob Elmont. Straight to the back door, Brian.
[74:13]
Giannis Pappas
Straight to the back door. Brian's a nice chicken.
[74:15]
Chris DiStefano
Chicken finger. Jack Thompson, Devin Painter, Shassar 0. BG Huda. The fire alarm beep in my girl's apartment. Daniel, Sarah, Stephanie Germanata's high school X, Burton, Ernie, were HMOs. It's what it is.
[74:29]
Giannis Pappas
What it is.
[74:30]
Chris DiStefano
They were Queen Tarifa. Chelsea likes her vinegar's apple cider. Benjamin fearing, tiering man. Mac 27 TT. Jerry plugged my muffler. And then last but not least, the Jizzler. Okay, the Jizzler. So not the strongest list.
[74:44]
Giannis Pappas
We got some goodies.
[74:45]
Chris DiStefano
But we do got some goodies. Oh, always listen. Yeah, because you just never do know. Okay, so a Frisbee on a heavy dose of Lexapro. Because I'm off the beam because we killed Jesus.
[74:57]
Giannis Pappas
It's very funny. Me, I'm gonna Drexler.
[74:59]
Chris DiStefano
Drexler. Okay.
[75:00]
Giannis Pappas
Funny.
[75:00]
Chris DiStefano
Any other day, guy Sergio Chacon butt chugs patron to take tranny's home.
[75:04]
Giannis Pappas
We're gonna keep that.
[75:05]
Chris DiStefano
That's it.
[75:05]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[75:06]
Chris DiStefano
Tattooed a barcode on my ass so Chrissy D. Could scan it with the UK app. Hashtag salad shooter. He glued in my pooda.
[75:13]
Giannis Pappas
We're gonna keep that.
[75:15]
Chris DiStefano
Okay. He's so crooked. I call it Hillary.
[75:17]
Giannis Pappas
We're gonna keep that.
[75:18]
Chris DiStefano
Okay.
[75:18]
Giannis Pappas
Yeah.
[75:19]
Chris DiStefano
Sydney Sweeney's tits can never be that big under communism.
[75:22]
Giannis Pappas
It's what it is funny, but I'm gonna Drexler it.
[75:24]
Chris DiStefano
Okay. She does have absolute.
[75:26]
Giannis Pappas
She's got knockers.
[75:28]
Chris DiStefano
Yeah. I like. Okay.
[75:30]
Giannis Pappas
Of ink fun bags.
[75:31]
Chris DiStefano
This pen just ran out of ink. God damn it. Okay, that's fine right there. Oh, yeah. Oh, here we go. That's what it is. Perfect. Okay, she's got that. Then we got Jose Menendez was a hell of a balls player.
[75:44]
Giannis Pappas
We're gonna Drexler it. The other day.
[75:46]
Chris DiStefano
Okay. Burst my girl spleen with my peen while yelling line of 14.
[75:50]
Giannis Pappas
Very funny. Drexler.
[75:51]
Chris DiStefano
Drexler. Okay, so this one's out. Romanian cam girl, AKA no fumes through zooms.
[75:57]
Giannis Pappas
We're gonna keep that, okay. Yeah. We always do this, right.
[76:01]
Chris DiStefano
Okay. So we got Sergio Chacon, butt Chucks patron to take trainees home. Tattooed a barcode on my ass so Chrissy D. Could scan it with the Yuka app. He's so crooked. I call it Hillary. Or Romanian cam girl, AKA no fumes through zooms.
[76:14]
Giannis Pappas
I'm in a chicken finger kind of mood. I like chicken fingers. So what we're going to do is we're going to Yuka app. It was a little long, even. You just abbreviate.
[76:22]
Chris DiStefano
Abate it. Yeah.
[76:23]
Giannis Pappas
If you would have ended there, I think it could have been the winner. But we're going to Drex through that.
[76:27]
Chris DiStefano
That Ryan, Sergio P. Chuck's patron to takes home.
[76:31]
Giannis Pappas
It's so good. And I. But I love crooked Hillary. And the other one.
[76:34]
Chris DiStefano
Was the other one Piso. Piso. Crooked. I call it Hillary. And then Romanian cam girl, AKA no fumster. Zooms.
[76:40]
Giannis Pappas
Those are two good chick figure.
[76:42]
Chris DiStefano
What do we got?
[76:42]
Giannis Pappas
Or the Sergio. Where are you leading? Me? Yeah. Oh, Sergio for sure. Yeah. Where are you leading? Are you in a chicken figure mood? Are you in more. In a fine dining mood?
[76:51]
Chris DiStefano
I like. I just like. Like. Cuz Sergio. We've had some stuff with Sergio P. So crooked. I call it Hillary. That's. You know, it's funny, but Hillary. It's a bit of an old joke. No fumes Through Zooms by itself would win.
[77:04]
Giannis Pappas
And Romanian Cam Girl, we just did.
[77:06]
Chris DiStefano
An episode, Romanian Kid, to me, that's, that's what I would go for.
[77:09]
Giannis Pappas
We're going with the Romanian Cam. That's it. Yeah.
[77:11]
Chris DiStefano
You're the winner. Romanian Cam Girl, AKA no Fumes Through Zooms. Tell your friends you can see your stuff up at History. See your name up at History. Hyenas is back. Com. Lucky, lucky winner. And yeah, thank you so much for coming. We are here for you every Thursday, 11aM at YouTube. Com historyhyenas. And the bonus episodes are at patreon. Com historyhyenas, where we're going to be continuing right now.
[77:36]
Giannis Pappas
Premieres at 10aM Eastern.