History Hyenas was WILD! | Final Episode

Summary

History Hyenas Final Episode Summary

History Hyenas’ final episode, titled "History Hyenas was WILD! | Final Episode," released on March 24, 2021, marks the end of an energetic and humor-filled journey hosted by comedians Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas. This episode serves as a nostalgic farewell, celebrating the podcast's wild antics, memorable moments, and dedicated community.

---

1. Announcing the End of History Hyenas

The episode opens with Chris Distefano candidly announcing the termination of History Hyenas. He humorously remarks, “We’ve come into the final episode. You didn’t see that coming” (01:37), signaling an unexpected but decisive conclusion to the podcast.

2. Reasons Behind the Decision

Chris and Yannis discuss their motivation for ending the show, attributing it to the podcast's stagnant growth. Chris states, “We are ending it because the Rye Long app was a fucking snoozer” (03:47). They express a desire to conclude on a high note, emphasizing their intent to "go out on top" (04:07).

3. Reflections on the Podcast’s Journey

Throughout the episode, the hosts reminisce about the podcast’s evolution over three years, highlighting significant milestones and challenges. Yannis humorously compares the show's longevity to blood numbers, “You've been doing the show. It’s kind of like your blood numbers” (09:50), illustrating the deep commitment to their podcast.

4. Interactions with Former Staff and Fans

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to interactions with former staff members and loyal fans. Notably, producer Mike Suarez joins the conversation, sharing personal updates and engaging in playful banter. Chris and Yannis express heartfelt gratitude towards listeners like Jen Johnson, Lisa Johnson, and Mark Jenkins, acknowledging their pivotal roles in the podcast's success. Jen reminisces, “It's been a weird transition... thanks for being a part of this” (31:03), highlighting the community's tight-knit nature.

5. Reading Patreon Supporters

In a memorable segment, Chris and Yannis read out an extensive list of Patreon supporters, infusing humor and creativity. This includes playful and outrageous names, such as “Chrissy D. The love child of Hitler and Nowitzki” (21:13) and “Your nan’s walk toy” (75:11). This segment underscores the show's signature comedic style and appreciation for their fanbase.

6. Final Farewell and Future Plans

As the episode draws to a close, Chris and Yannis emphasize that this farewell is not the end but rather a transition to new ventures. Chris mentions, “We’ll always have these memories” (57:20), assuring fans that their legacy continues through archived episodes on Patreon. They tease future projects, including Chris’s upcoming podcast “Chrissy Chaos” and Yannis’s “Yanni Long Days,” inviting listeners to stay connected through new platforms.

---

Notable Quotes

• Chris Distefano: “We are ending it because the Rye Long app was a fucking snoozer.” (03:47)
• Yannis Pappas: “We’re going to end after that. Fucking shit bomb. See ya.” (04:07)
• Yannis Pappas: “We are at the top of the mountain. At 277. We were thinking, should we go for 276? And I said, no, let's quit while we're on top.” (05:04)
• Chris Distefano: “Reality is a suggestion. So even anything that was said, it's not true. It's all jokes. Nothing's real.” (101:08)

---

Conclusion

The final episode of History Hyenas is a heartfelt and humorous closure to a podcast that blended history with comedy, fostering a vibrant and engaged community. Chris and Yannis’s genuine reflections, combined with interactions with cherished contributors, create a memorable farewell that honors the show's wild spirit and enduring impact.

---

Timestamps

• [01:37] Chris Distefano announces the final episode.
• [03:47] Reasons for ending the podcast discussed.
• [04:07] Decision to end on a high note.
• [09:50] Yannis compares podcast longevity to blood numbers.
• [21:13] Reading of Patreon supporter names begins.
• [31:03] Jen Johnson shares her experience.
• [57:20] Reflection on memories and community.
• [75:11] Playful reading of supporter names continues.
• [101:08] Emphasis on reality being a suggestion.

Note: Timestamps are provided for reference and to highlight specific moments within the episode.

Transcript

[Chris Distefano]

This cold and flu season, Instacart is here to help deliver all of your sick day essentials. Whether you're in prevention mode and need vitamins, hand sanitizer, and that lemon tea your nana swears by, or you're in healing mode and need medicine, soup, and a lot more tissues, simply download the Instacart app to get sick day supplies that reinvigorate or relieve. Delivered in as fast as 30 minutes plus enjoy. Zero delivery fees on your first three orders. Excludes restaurant orders, service fees and terms apply.

[Giannis Pappas]

Guys, we're talking about some fine beard products right now. Our sponsor, Duke Canon can be found at Target. You can visit dukecannon.com check them out. Go get yourself some beard wash, some beard oil, and some beard balm. Make that beard look cute. Guys, the key to life is hydration. Water a lot of times is not enough. That's why you gotta check out Liquid iv. They got lots of great flavors. All you got to do is go to liquid I.com also you can find it at Costco. Put in the promo code wild and you will get 25% off your order. It is great.

[Chris Distefano]

What's up, everybody? Welcome to the final episode of History Hyenas. You didn't see that coming.

[Giannis Pappas]

We are going to cut to us in a diner with a Journey song playing. And then there's just going to be lots and lots of blogs about how it was disappointing.

[Chris Distefano]

Cuz what can you do? We've come into the final episode. You have on your. Your glasses, your women's glasses.

[Giannis Pappas]

These are women's glasses. These are unisex glasses. These are. I don't want to. I don't want to stereotype. I don't want to make fun, but these are gay man's glasses. These are a well dressed gay man's.

[Chris Distefano]

Glasses and a gay man's sweater. And I'm. I got.

[Giannis Pappas]

This was given to me by a gay man, my brother.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I got. And I have on a sweatshirt. The are you garbage? Podcast. The garbagio sweater, which I just continue to do podcasts and buy the merch. And then the people keep saying, we'll send you the merch. And I continue to spend money buying the merch. So shout out, are you garbage? I'm wearing your garbagio sweatshirt and I paid $48 for it. You fox.

[Giannis Pappas]

And here's actually speaking of that, it reminded me Danny Leporier. I don't know how to. His last name's French. He's a French Danny.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Okay. Laporier.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, Danny La Fumes. I have purchased your merch with your little. It was like a little him as a chair, as a cherub. A valentine cherub.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I never got the shirt, so what the fuck? I know what my address is. I put my address in. And you're fucking living in Florida now, so I know you little. You got a little scam going. And you're also probably dealing coke.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, here's the thing. And I. And I unintentionally did this, and I doubt Danny watches the show, but I intelligent, unintentionally do this. And it may just be payback. It may just be, you know, Danny was like, fucking an eye for an eye. And I'm sorry, I will. I will compensate you for the shirt, Yanni, because this was unintentional. But I started a YouTube series called Chrissy Quarantiddies, and allegedly Danny has been saying quarantiddies since March, and people like you stole that from Danny. So, Danny, I'm sorry. I took it and ran with it. I didn't know you made up Quarantinis, but maybe that's why he's holding back the merch.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, where the fuck is the merch?

[Chris Distefano]

I got. Sorry.

[Giannis Pappas]

I like Danny, obviously, but I really liked. It was funny. It was just a fat. Him in a diaper with the thing. So I'm like, I gotta get that.

[Chris Distefano]

And let's just, like, address the question that everybody's been wanting to know. Why are we ending it? The truth is, Giannis and I are ending it because the Rye Long app was a fucking snoozer.

[Giannis Pappas]

Which. What?

[Chris Distefano]

The Ryan Long app was a fucking snoozer. So we said, let's. Let's end after that. Fucking shit bomb. See ya. So I said, bye.

[Giannis Pappas]

Bye. Bye. Yeah, we've had some snoozers, mostly goodies. It's been a. It's been a good ride. Uh, we've had the best producers, four of them. And I say if you want to blame somebody, stop Dming me and Chris and blaming us. Yeah, blame Zach Isis.

[Chris Distefano]

Blame Zach Isis that. Thank God. Thank God. We do have homeless pimp back doing this episode. Homeless. For the last time, he's not here. So basically the reason why the show stopped because eventually the last staff member just got fired. So Eventually. Eventually, between all the staff we've had over the years, we just fired the last one, and we actually fired Homeless Smith, but he just came back because we gave him cash.

[Giannis Pappas]

Well, that.

[Chris Distefano]

That's so. That's just what it. So people Keep trying to speculate. It's not because I'm doing fucking true tv. It's not because Yanni's a psycho. It's because we just wanted to stop. As Giannis said, we want to go out on top. And we went out on top. If you look right now, we are ranked 277th in the world. How much higher did you think we were going to go? It's fucking au revoir.

[Giannis Pappas]

We are at the top of the mountain. At 277. We were. We were thinking, should we go for 276? And I said, no, let's quit while we're on top. And I. I am going. I'm going to Greece.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm disappearing to Greece. And I have tried to. I was trying to get my interview with Oprah, but I got stopped by her former Mossad security.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is. But that's the thing. So I know fans will always speculate. That's just how it is. But if you are a true fan of our show, that's the thing with us. If you are a true fan of your show, which. Thank you, by the way, all the people who are still supporting us on patreon, go to patreon.com Berry Ridge Boys for $5 a month. We have all our archived episodes there. You could still be part of the community. We know a lot of people made friends. We've made friends with people from the Patreon community. So it's all up there. All in good fun. You know, stay there for as long as you want. Whatever you want. You know, we're being honest with what it's going to be now, but I'm.

[Giannis Pappas]

Going to actually go on that page under a pseudonym.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm just going to pretend to be Sabrina the Hyena.

[Chris Distefano]

You're going to be pretending. You're going to pretend to be sneak.

[Giannis Pappas]

Around, prance around, secret.

[Chris Distefano]

Listen.

[Giannis Pappas]

The way. Just the way J. Edgar Hoover used to prance around in women's panties.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

When he was by. When he wasn't trying to hunt down Martin Luther King. Kid just put on women's panties. I'm putting on Sabrina Hyena's moniker and I'm sneaking around what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

If me and homeless pimp can make fake YouTube accounts, you can make a fake Patreon.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's still a weird comment.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Weird comment.

[Chris Distefano]

So. But basically.

[Giannis Pappas]

And by the way, Mike emoji face, I'm sorry, I didn't know we were ending the show. You should probably Get a plane ticket back from San Antonio. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Come back from San Antonio.

[Giannis Pappas]

Told him he was hired again.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah, Mike emoji, you're hired again. Sorry.

[Giannis Pappas]

So.

[Chris Distefano]

So he'll be on the zoom in a second. This episode is going to be wild. We're going to zoom in some of the people from our past and they're going to be coming on which this is just literally a celebration. Like, kind of like how, you know, like when somebody. Like when. When a black person dies and everybody dresses up in all different colors and they celebrate life. This is a black funeral. We're having a funeral for someone in the Caribbean.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, black funerals. Really?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Black church takes it to another level.

[Chris Distefano]

I. I'm surprised you. I always. I mean, why don't they sell Tickets on fucking StubHub to black churches, dude?

[Giannis Pappas]

They. I mean, black churches should really attract people outside of the religion, but. Because even if you don't believe in God, I would love to see a. Speaking of shows, this is a show you could pitch.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

You take atheists and send them to black church and see which ones won't cry, Right? You bet on who's going to cry. Because have you ever been to like, the Church of God in Christ?

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Giannis Pappas]

You just start crying. They hit the. I mean, it's like they hit the drums. The singers, like, can really blow, like Rob Tres Van. They're not sitting there going Potter Mater and all that shit and touching kids later.

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know. Yeah, they're fucking eating Mac and cheese out of a tin pan.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is, cuz. But that's why. That's the thing, though. But that's why, well, black. A lot of, you know, black people are hilarious, but not a lot of black religious people are that hilarious. The Catholics, I think out of the whites, obviously the Jews are the Jews, but out of the whites, I think the Catholics are the funniest because we get molested the most. We have the most childhood trauma.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So I think we could. We could come out.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, you come out. You.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, Bill Burr is a funny kid.

[Giannis Pappas]

There's only one reason why he got touched and.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And if you go back and watch. I'm not trying to start any rumors here, but if you go back and watch the Colin Quinn episode, when I brought up my theory about the Catholic Church, Colin Quinn, you could see him squirmed. He started. He started having like. He was trying to get away from it and he got touched because how do you. I mean, if you look at the numbers Yeah, I mean, we're talking about maybe a quarter of the kids.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

It might have got love made to them by a priest.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is. Because if you're a Catholic kid, like, I'm a Catholic kid. I mean, they put up Covid numbers.

[Giannis Pappas]

They put up Covid fucking. Everybody's getting it because they're putting up California Covid. I mean, our producer, Mike Lavin, is an Irish kid. I would assume that the causal reason why he's got Color Me Bad in Living Color pants on is because he got dingled by a priest.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is. Mike and I have talked about it. I am wearing women's deodorant, and I keep getting whiffs of my armpit fumes. And they smell good.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Women deodorant does have a different smell and that. Why? Why did they make women's like, why is that something that women do? Women find that scent more feminine. Is pink really a feminine color, or was it just society that' said women should smell like this? Men should smell like.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is. It's society. And that's why we're stopping this podcast, too, because we've had enough with society. But that's the thing. What I want to get to before is, you know, all the speculation and blah, blah, why you started what they're like, oh, just a week ago, you were telling promote to Patreon because the show from day one has been wild. And we have said from day one, reality is a suggestion. So we understand people saying, oh, it's your dumb business move. You're doing this. You're not. Why do you think we named the show the History Hyenas? We were planning to end the episode after the fifth episode and the show after the fifth episode. So we just decided. We're like, you know what?

[Giannis Pappas]

It's time.

[Chris Distefano]

And we're just going with it.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's been three years. Like hundreds and hundreds and hundred. We did more content than any podcast. We probably have about seven, eight years, actually. Full of content.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

So really, we've been doing the show. It's kind of like your blood. It's kind of like your blood numbers.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're 36 and we're three years, but your blood numbers are 56. And our actual years in how long we've been doing it, if you do the hours of content is like, probably 56 years. This podcast.

[Chris Distefano]

56 years of this podcast. So it's like after the end of the day, like, what do you want? You know, what the fuck?

[Giannis Pappas]

It's T.J. miller was drinking alcohol on the podcast.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. T.J. miller was not only drinking alcohol, then he pulled a chicken shawarma sandwich out of his coat pocket. He is on fucking methamphetamines.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, T.J. miller, talk about a snoozer season. Seton Smith and you probably became real good friends after that episode.

[Chris Distefano]

A snoozy woozy. I mean, you start to ask, why are some people in comedy?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. And then Mateo Lane is the greatest. He was on before I got there and then I got there and then we just ignored Mateo Lane for the rest of the episode. Do you remember that one?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And he just sat there going like, why am I here?

[Chris Distefano]

Why am I here? Because Mateo, I was like, shut up.

[Giannis Pappas]

And make some tortellini with Corona sauce.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, it's one of those called the white sauce. Oh, Alfredo.

[Giannis Pappas]

Alfredo.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, I was dead.

[Giannis Pappas]

Did he cook for you with no shirt on?

[Chris Distefano]

He cooked me with no shirt. And he was holding my baby and I was kind of looking at him like, yes, goals. I was literally like, yes, the way I want to have a relationship with this kid. But yeah, that Mateo Lane episode, as soon as you came in, I kind of felt like, fuck. Like I'm having a good time with Mateo, but I kind of felt like side piece. And it was like, oh, my husband's home. So I stopped, So I stopped talking. It was kind of like flirting with like how I would imagine like a housewife might flirt with like a hot Poland split spring guy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And then the husband comes on. You're like, oh, bye. That's what it was with Mateo.

[Giannis Pappas]

I remember that episode because he just. You were jacked back then. I was jacked back then. And I, you know what's funny is like, like I started to put it back on again. I like to eat, I can't help it. And also like I don't do weight training anymore. So my, my.

[Chris Distefano]

I.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know, like a 45 year old woman when she does like this, this flaps around. Yeah, that's my whole body right now.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, no, cuz, no, the thing is.

[Giannis Pappas]

I look like my body looks like I got a stomach staple operation.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, no, but, but, but I got.

[Giannis Pappas]

A lot of loose skin.

[Chris Distefano]

You got a lot of skin, but it's too fucking cold to exercise right now. It's 18 degrees. So whatever. We're going to stay warm. We're going to stay cute.

[Giannis Pappas]

Why don't you give them a history? How you ineffective day about witch's tit?

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, history. And effect of the day is we Googled. We Googled who came up with the phrase that, with Yanis Giannis, put it in our heads to say, who came up with Colder than a witch's Tit. And we actually found out that the creator of Colder than the Witch's Tit's name is Francis Van Wyck Mason. Who may. We're gonna say here on the show that the very popular highway in Queens, the Van Wyck Expressway, is named after Francis Van Wyck Mason and also Anthony Mason. So the former New York Knicks basketball player. Rest in Peace, 1932. It's cold as a witch's tit. Outside was the first use it ever was in. In lectures or fucking.

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't know, the dictionary back in the day, dude. F. Van. What was it? F. Van Wyck Mason. You just too many names.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Back in the day, they just had too many names.

[Chris Distefano]

Too many names. Yeah. And it was like, you know, it was kind of like, you know, if.

[Giannis Pappas]

I had to address Debo, like, W. Debo Du Bois.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

What's his last name? Debonado.

[Chris Distefano]

De Bernardo.

[Giannis Pappas]

There's just too many names. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

James Debonado. By the way, Debo went in and Dicky bought some cash off his father, and that kid went in there and bought some GameStop stock. I mean, the kid thinks he's going to be rich off GameStop. He's like, I'm finally going to get a JetBlue. I fucking buy GameStop because David portney from Barstool told me to.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because fucking Debo's such a squeak. I think he could fight the coronavirus hand to hand combat.

[Chris Distefano]

Head to head combat.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's who we need, because we get.

[Chris Distefano]

Debo on the fucking zoom.

[Giannis Pappas]

We got to get Debo in the fuck. Get him into zoom or put him in a vaccine vial.

[Chris Distefano]

Let me text.

[Giannis Pappas]

Let me shoot him into fucking patient zero and let's stop this squeak.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, wait. Deebo's fucking working. Hey, bro, you want to come on the farewell app?

[Giannis Pappas]

By the way, take a look at this. That's. This is Sabrina the Hyena.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, my God. Thank you, Sabrina.

[Giannis Pappas]

Queen matriarchs finally painted the funniest painting ever painted, which actually could be happening right now.

[Chris Distefano]

We don't know. I think it's probable.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Nobody could say to me that this is not a. What would you call that? A portrait. She could have had, like a psychic moment.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Where she painted that.

[Chris Distefano]

It looks exactly like your father to me. It looks exactly like Larry.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean. Yeah. And also the Thing that's most impressive to me is the look in Larry's eyes does say, please kill me. Yeah. Yeah. So. Because Larry has one. I mean, Larry, the thing. The merciful thing to do is just commit euthanasia on Larry.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

When I was there, I was considering just kicking him down the stairs for his own sake.

[Chris Distefano]

No, Larry was one of those guys, was one of those dogs. I mean, he skyrocketed. Skyrocketed up to heaven. There was no, like, soul looking back at the body. Even if. Even if his relatives were like, you should go back. He's like, I'm not going back there. I'm staying up here dead.

[Giannis Pappas]

When I would. When I was over there, I could see him trying. He was blind, so, I mean, poor guy couldn't see. But he was trying to sniff his way to the stairs.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because he wanted to throw himself over like my dad's friend. It's a funny story. My dad's friend made it to, like, 92. He called my dad. They were close friends. He had a normal conversation with them. And then, because he was paralyzed, like, he. And, you know, he didn't want to live like that anymore, so he somehow crawled to the window using whatever upper body straight, and he just rolled himself out of, like, the 50th floor of a building.

[Chris Distefano]

And he killed himself.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, he just killed himself. I mean, in 92. Yeah. It's like, you know what I mean?

[Chris Distefano]

That's insane.

[Giannis Pappas]

Dr. Kevorkian was not a bad guy.

[Chris Distefano]

I think Dr. Kevorkian types. I think we're going to come full circle, and that in very. In our very near future is going to be actually okay. And it's going to be encouraged.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, euthanizing humans.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, You. I mean, it's cruel. At some point, it's just cruel if somebody's suffering or a dog is suffering, you know?

[Chris Distefano]

Right. I mean, I get it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. You just. You take Larry outside on a day like this, you say a Catholic prayer.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

You hold. You hold them one last time. You kiss him. You say, you know, you say something nice, and then you just walk away.

[Jan the Squeak]

You just fucking walk away.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's 17 degrees out. I mean, it's just gonna. It's gonna be quick.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, I gotta be honest with you. When Larry, you know, that last day, his life. When I was with my mom. I mean, I gotta be. If I'm just being a thousand percent honest with you. You know, when we were driving home.

[Giannis Pappas]

By the way your whole family listens to. I'm just joking. Mrs. Stefano. Sorry.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah, no, she.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, I know she's not gonna appreciate this comedy very much.

[Chris Distefano]

When I said to my mom. I swear to God, when I said to my mom, my mom was like, how was your day a couple of days ago? And I was like, good. I was like, you know, Yanis and I have decided to end history. Hyenas. She went, thank God.

[Giannis Pappas]

I swear to God, she said, the candles work.

[Chris Distefano]

She goes, thank God. She was like, I tried to take it out with COVID but thank God that's what happened.

[Giannis Pappas]

She sent me the Christmas card. She put Covid on it.

[Chris Distefano]

Covert on. She's like, I need. I need this podcast to end, but.

[Giannis Pappas]

And a lot of it just for the family. She just needed to Her. Yeah, she just worked.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, she needed for the family, you know, and thank God, you know, like, Uncle Russell's safe now. Like, everybody's safe.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, everybody's safe.

[Chris Distefano]

Because make no mistake on. Hey, babe, we can't curse.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, what are you doing? What are you darning talking about? You're too. I mean, I can't even not curse. I just cursed trying to not curse. I just said, fucking tootin.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you're fucking tootin.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because at the beginning of our podcast.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, God.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, no, go ahead.

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, I'm waiting for the zucchini slices. We got zucchini slices coming. Yeah, and yeah, Pimps fucking pants.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, tell him to come in, pimp.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, come join delivery guy on. Come in. I mean, make no mistake, there it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

If we interviewed the delivery guy.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I got. Also got. By the way, I got zucchini slices. I got six potato croquettes, and I did get a two liter ginger. Al. Yeah, you want it now?

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, I just. I had two pizza wagons shout out. Pizza wagon.

[Chris Distefano]

Shout out. Pizza shout out.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, no zucchini slice. I mean, we have made a couple of local places.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

In Bay Ridge, Papala Pop a lot.

[Chris Distefano]

I gotta. I'm gonna have one and then I'm gonna put it into my fitness app and see how many calories I have left for the day.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, I mean, I'm on a water app as well, which. Which I. Yeah, I just stopped using at this point because drinking the amount of water that you're supposed to drink just seems excessive. I don't know. What are you really supposed to drink? A gallon of water a day. Even if you don't.

[Chris Distefano]

Even if you don't perspire, you have to drink. You have. Like, do you find now that you've been paying attention to your water. Like, you have less headaches. Like, how do you feel?

[Giannis Pappas]

Definitely been shitting. More normal.

[Mike Suarez]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, I've never been shit more normal.

[Chris Distefano]

S shaped shits.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, I mean, who has S shaped shits? I mean, well, that's.

[Chris Distefano]

But that's how you know. If you talk to Dr. Nick, good friend of the show, Dr. Nick, who's also kind of a psycho if you take an S shape. I mean, just text me random. He's like, you have 10 minutes to talk. I want to just talk and say hello. I'm like, get the fuck away from me. Just pay the 10 bucks on Patreon.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, anybody who sticks a scope of people's assholes while they're passed out definitely is not playing with a full deck. There's a couple of jacks missing.

[Chris Distefano]

Not playing with a full deck. But he says S shaped shits is the way to go. And that's how you know.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, well, I don't. I haven't had an S shaped shit. I mean, I don't know. Here's the deal. We're stopping the podcast because we're going to start it in another country. Yeah, we're going to. How great would that be? If we just went to another country and tried to learn the language and start it in Germany?

[Chris Distefano]

That's what we're gonna do. Like Tom Segura started a podcast in Spanish, so we're just gonna do it. Yana's gonna do it in Greek and I'm just gonna fucking do it in German. I mean, here we go. We got a lot of fucking Patreon names. We made a promise that we're gonna read the rest of the Patreon names. Anyone who has signed up for Patreon, your name will be read as long as Mike and Venatea. As Pimp and Venatea sent us to write files. If not. And your name is not read for the last episode. I'm sorry. You signed up for a wild podcast and it's a wild podcast.

[Giannis Pappas]

And also, I just want to say quick, our first logo is fucking horrifying.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, it's horrifying. We made T shirts. Our first two pieces of merch was this horrifying logo with our faces blended into bleeding hyenas and a picture of my feet. That's how not screwed in we were.

[Giannis Pappas]

Also, our name history Hyenas is not the most appealing name. It sounds like a history class or it sounds like something. And like we just. There was an also hh, which is how people do everything they make everything into an acronym. There's also another meaning for HH that's not kosher.

[Chris Distefano]

And.

[Giannis Pappas]

And pun intended.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

The opposite of kosher.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's the opposite.

[Giannis Pappas]

Do you know that's commonly known as something else? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's what it is. Okay, so here we go. We're gonna just read a few Patreon ads out throughout the show. Instead of just doing one big chunk, we'll just read a few out. There will be no PPW pseudo penis to the weak winner. Everybody's kind of a winner. You're the final episode. It's kind of like you're the 10,000 shopper. Like, yay. So, thank you. So here we go. Welcome to. It's one of these lists where it says, welcome to the matriarchy. And then goodbye from the matriarchy back to back. Tatiana Petford, K. Dylan. The Potato Monkey. Donahue. Max Kelly Alder in. Jay Smedley, Andy Mack, Joey. I'm not gay. But $20 is $20. Vasquez, John Rodriguez, Braden, Brad Beltowski. Alex Crow, Loudon Parker, Taylor Hill, Garrett Pouch, Michael Hamburg, Nikki Gallo. Then we got the new clan. Yanni is Ebenezer Scrutin. I like it.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, Jesus, that's good.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Marty. Got a new job, need to stay fume free, so no nickname Dirks. Then we got pathos 1210. Then we got Chrissy D. The love child of Hitler and Nowitzki.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

What can you do?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Chris Drake, Joshua Hoppelman. Then we got Alex. Just a white Portland kid who leans right but banged out a cute antifa toot.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, that would be a contender.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. What it is. Then we got Tim Overstreet, Bobby Wing, Barbara Peters, Luis Lippy, Fumari and Barry. Cracked and cleaned out. Then we got Petey Big Toots, Cramel. Then we got Dima the Rust. But make no mistake, I was a Russian Orthodox kid till I met Father Bill in the Catholic school in Long Islands. What it is. Scott Ricketts, Christian Samara. Then we got Ryan D. Non Tudor Fruit Loop. Cracked her open and glued the shoot. It's what it is. Then we got Dick Garrett, Matt One day. Then we got Kellen. Shout out Smithtown water, Babe. It won't get hard unless you shout out Smithtown water, babe.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, it's cool. Shout out.

[Chris Distefano]

Like it. Then we got Middle Part Mitchell, Stephen Carrey. Then we got Chris or Hunter. Chrissy Hunter Biden's AA sponsor. Minetti Matrice Wise, Matt Charlie Connor Rodriguez. Then we got canceled by Florida. Look it Up.

[Giannis Pappas]

Original.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Pam Barry, Mikey's sister Jill Humps Father Bill to they kill their will to stop molesting my neighbor's kid, Phil Bambino.

[Giannis Pappas]

Nice poem.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Garrett, I want to shoot my Yanni Appleseed straight into Chrissy's crumb Bum steel. Then we got Kyle, just a Jew that likes watching Fox News, drinking brews and slamming twos.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Nick. Make no mistake, Chrissy D. Is my dad. Help. Then we got Chrissy past the Brick. I didn't mean the Spalding. I mean the Cafe Bustelo to Stefan Lopez, Alan Arveo. Then we got Rick Yanni. I shrunk the cucks. Morganis. Rick Yanni. I shrunk the cucks, Morganis. Okay. Then we got Armpits.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's trying to do Rick Moranis. Right, right.

[Chris Distefano]

I shrunk the cucks.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Armpit. Armpit, Leg pit, Vagina.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, that. That would. That would have been a chicken finger. And I would.

[Chris Distefano]

That.

[Giannis Pappas]

That. That originality, which is. Would have. Yeah, I would have made its own list for that. I like it. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Armpit.

[Giannis Pappas]

Armpit, Leg pit. Vagina.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I like it. Then we got Lee Bewick. Then we got ladder 1488. Then we got Spencer Squeak Magoo. But make no mistake, I'll clean out your mom because she's a pupa. Puppet piece. Jorge King Dirt. Then we got Chrissy D. Sucking tts and thinking about pee pees. Arthur Guillermo. Then we got Mary the Pillow Biter Durkin. Then we got. My name's JJ. My name's JT and I'm here to skull Chrissy D. With my fat hairy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Hairier than Yanni B.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay, hairy than Yanni B. Yeah. Then we got Christopher Scineros. Bridge David. Then we got the anteater licking up Yanni yogurt. Michael. Sarah Palin. Michael. Sarah Palin. Very like. Michael. Sarah. Yeah. Coup. Then we got Sal Scott. J. Siantar. Michael Polydora. Then we got Jurgen Blow China up or make them Pay Trump. He's going to come see them in a different way. 2020 Bushka. Then we got Father Bill, Me in the booth. Then we got Bruce, Patient zero of the Chinese choker, Wayne. Chinese choker's funny if it just was.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chinese choker.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Then we got Jackson Bole. Then we got beon 909. David Lago, Eston Bowmer. Adam. Tommy Noonan, Maxim Prosperi. Then we got Rizzo and Fumar. Head to the back of the Bippity Boppity Boutique on Chrissy Chlamydia's dime. Then we got Steel Pipe. Chrissy throws a hissy if he ain't with Missy. With his Missy. Then we got Justin. Make no mistake, I'm a real black kid, but I'm using more than one name. Cummings. That's funny. We got Lindsay, William Morales, Mary Vice, Brandon Olivas. Then we got Eric. I saved some kids from a house fire, but I got. Hey, Burnt. I need reconstructive surgery. Word to El Gabalis Brown.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, hilarious.

[Chris Distefano]

Tony Tischer, Anthony Gonzalez, Chuckleberry Way. Sean Shen Juan. Spread him like a Greek, cuz my name is Mr. Booty Cheek.

[Giannis Pappas]

Mr. Booty Cheek would have been nice. Yeah, Sometimes you got to edit those chicken fingers.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Soggy Ram Ramen. Then we got Ant Was In My Duck and now the fumes won't stop. It's what it is. Guido Anthony, Dino. Then we got Bobby. Got a situation with Barney Rubble and the Horses. Need Yanni to spot me a quick hundo. Yeah. Then we got Christian Bellerid, Sofia Lima, Luke Sposano, Danger Guy. Then we got Jack. Jack. Let Chrissy D. Blow out my back and let Yanni P. Shoot a sauce on my tiny stink star. Like Ladder 14 on a white female.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, Formali, I think. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Mike Suarez]

All right.

[Giannis Pappas]

Some good ones on there. But you know What? That was 100 names. I would say three or four of them really, really took it to the next level.

[Chris Distefano]

What do we got?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, who do we got? Oh, my God. Look at that. Yeah. Oh. What's up? What's up? The coolest dentist south of the Mason Dixon. Give it up for our original OG supporter, the best dentist in all of America, Dr. Harvey Spencer, Junior.

[Chris Distefano]

What's up, brothers?

[Giannis Pappas]

How you doing, man?

[Chris Distefano]

How you doing, doc?

[Zach Isis]

Chilling, chilling, chilling, man. I'm just now leaving. Getting our first shot of the vaccine.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh. Oh, wow. Congrats, man. Let me ask you this. We want, you know, we know you're a busy guy, but when did you stop listening to the podcast? What episode was it? Because we know you dipped off.

[Zach Isis]

Oh, I dipped off for a little bit, but I can't. I couldn't remember, man. Yeah, I was listening. I caught up. I caught up. Don't get it twisted, but it was, I don't know, summer of 2019. I mean, 20, 20, 20.

[Giannis Pappas]

How many. How many of his. How many history hyena fans came to get dental work from you? And who is that psycho who made a Video with you and your wife. Remember that guy? He was coming out a little strong.

[Zach Isis]

No, he was. That's my guy. No, but I had. I had three patients that were solid fans that came because of the podcast.

[Giannis Pappas]

Nice. Well, yeah. Now, here. You deserve this. Now that our show's gotten, you know, pretty popular. It's a. I even know this by heart. Right. It's a healthy, happy smile. Right. And rock. And rock. Rock Hill. Rock Hill, S.C. and go to happyhealthysmile.com to go get your teeth cracked open and cleaned out.

[Zach Isis]

Exactly.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

There it is, brother. How do you feel after the vaccine?

[Zach Isis]

I mean, I feel fine. My arm's a little sore. My wife's arm is. How you feeling, babe?

[Chris Distefano]

She does not want to be on camera.

[Giannis Pappas]

She does not want to be on this podcast.

[Chris Distefano]

She is. She is very thankful this podcast ending.

[Zach Isis]

She loved the patience you sent our way.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

There you go.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes, we did. And the promotion. And, you know, I got. I got Covid from Akash.

[Zach Isis]

Ah, yes. Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Were you around for. Were you still listening to Potty Zach?

[Chris Distefano]

I was.

[Zach Isis]

I was listening, but, yes, I heard that whole situation.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, we all got it. We all got it. It wasn't his fault. I mean, he was just, you know.

[Chris Distefano]

That'S not what Joe Rogan thinks.

[Zach Isis]

Yo, you remember early on, like, one of the funniest moments for me, for you guys, was early on with the walk and talk, and you guys are walking in front of a Catholic church, and Yanni just yelled, pedophile. Okay? Now, when he did that, I had my headphones on. I was seeing a patient. I lost it, and I just took the damn patient's lip off. I said, never again can I listen to these guys while I'm doing this?

[Chris Distefano]

While you work?

[Zach Isis]

I was done.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, man, we got sued for that. So we appreciate. We appreciate it.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's joking. He's joking, you know? Yeah. No, the Catholic. The Catholic Church has. Has more lawsuits. They got bigger problems than that one. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Then the history hyenas.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, they got it. They got a dish out. A lot more money, but, you know. Yeah, our podcast was not really safe for work. No, no, it's a podcast you got to listen to with headphones on or alone in the car.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's the only real way to do it.

[Zach Isis]

Yeah, exactly. And that's what I've been doing.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Zach Isis]

And you guys, man, we love you, too.

[Giannis Pappas]

And even. We even love your friends who. Who you tried to recommend the podcast to early on. I remember. And they were, man, I don't know if this is really for me.

[Zach Isis]

Yeah, exactly.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, we appreciate pretty much.

[Zach Isis]

Yeah. I try to give you more people.

[Giannis Pappas]

I know. You're the man. You're the man.

[Chris Distefano]

You're the man. And we appreciate every moment, man. And listen, we're not, you know, this show's ending, but we're both gonna have our own thing. So go follow us there. Go tell your friends about us there. And me and history will always live in infamy because of you. So thank you so much.

[Zach Isis]

Appreciate you, brothers.

[Chris Distefano]

All right. My man.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're the best.

[Chris Distefano]

Bye. Mr. Spencer, we're sorry for all the pain we've caused.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know, she's not. She's not even. She's scrolling.

[Chris Distefano]

She is scrolling.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Take care, brother.

[Chris Distefano]

We love you very much, man.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, he was the best. He's the best. A happy, healthy smile. Rock Hill, South Carolina. Our first actual small business sponsor was Harvey Spencer Jr. That was back when we had nothing, when we started our Patreon. And he has been supporting us ever since. So if you're down near Rock Hill, South Carolina, which I guess is close to North Carolina, it's like a drive. Yeah, I think it's not from like, Charlotte because I remember looking at it like. I think a lot of his business comes from North Carolina, but he's a dope guy. We had a couple fans actually go to his. Get. Get their teeth fixed. Yeah. Wow. Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

Even the way he said it, Jennifer, he doesn't even know Jen Bag has actually got on the show.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. And to this day, we don't know how old she is. Jen Bagacis Ticanes, the original Venetia. How you doing, Jen?

[Lisa Johnson]

I'm good. Good to see you guys.

[Giannis Pappas]

You too.

[Chris Distefano]

You still have up your Christmas tree. You're insane.

[Lisa Johnson]

I just got back to New York. Like, where were you?

[Giannis Pappas]

Monaco, Spain, Ibiza. Where were you? Hong Kong?

[Lisa Johnson]

I was in California. I was visiting my folks.

[Giannis Pappas]

Jen Bakakis has been working on her PhD.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes, Jen Bakis.

[Giannis Pappas]

She's been working on her thesis statement for seven years.

[Chris Distefano]

Seven years. Let me ask Jen Bagakis the same question I asked Dr. Harvey Spencer. When did you stop listening to history hyenas? Because we know you stop.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I've been following you on Instagram. How long ago did you kick the Jewish boyfriend to the curb? Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And when did Rafael DeLuca stop message you? And also, where is Rafael DeLuca?

[Giannis Pappas]

He is missing. Where in the world is Rafael DeLuca?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, so. So when did you stop?

[Lisa Johnson]

There's a lot of Questions. Yeah, so I didn't stop. I would listen to the Patreon, but my whole. I think all my podcast habits changed in the quarantine, so. Yeah, but that being said, I believe it. I mean, I'm still Patreon supporter. Also, I discovered Tim Dillon because of you guys.

[Giannis Pappas]

So there you go.

[Lisa Johnson]

Yeah, that was one of my favorite episodes. And where in the world is Raphael? Who knows? That is an excellent question. I don't follow. So I unfollowed that particular brand of the hyena.

[Giannis Pappas]

That was just a painful time in your life, you and Raphael, you know, it was love. And then it just. It went south because his djing just got in the way. You said Raphael, you said, Rafael, if you're gonna settle down with me, okay, I'm a girl. I'm in a 20 year PhD program and it's taken me. My PhD research has taken me to Monaco, Hong Kong, off in New York, a lot of times, Paris, sometimes London. And your djing is getting in the way of my Future. And Rafael DeLuca said, I'm a DJ from New Jersey. What could I do? I went to Harvard. And you said, get the fuck out of here. And you lit up a Marlboro Light and you walked away into the night.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. That's the last time I ever saw you. I remember, Jen, you actually got on the show. We invited you on the show and you had a great episode and it was crazy. Like you were a fan of the show and then you got on the show and then you left. And we saw you smoking a cigarette in some weird alley and we said, jen is a very, very fishy figure.

[Lisa Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

But we loved it. But we loved.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know, she was on like three episodes.

[Chris Distefano]

Jen is a part of, like, she was legit on the show and gave amazing historical research.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, were you on two?

[Chris Distefano]

She also got on. You know what, dude? Did you get on other podcasts?

[Giannis Pappas]

I think she was. I think she's married to Bobby Galley.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now, were. You were on two. You were on two History Hyenas episodes, weren't you?

[Lisa Johnson]

Yeah, no, I was in three.

[Chris Distefano]

I was on three.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, she's on three episodes.

[Lisa Johnson]

Yeah. It's funny because I think a lot of people have been back listening to your episodes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Lisa Johnson]

Because I noticed that, like, you've gotten.

[Giannis Pappas]

A lot of dick pics following me.

[Lisa Johnson]

Yeah, no, actually the fans are quite lovely.

[Giannis Pappas]

We have a gay fan base. That's right. They're very polite and they're not so appreciate.

[Lisa Johnson]

Yeah. But no, I've Been on three, and then a couple other podcasts and then Lenny Marks his podcast twice.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Lisa Johnson]

So, yeah. So thank you, guys. I mean, Jen, that wouldn't have happened.

[Chris Distefano]

It's fantastic. I really, I genuinely miss you and I miss those times. I mean, that was probably two years ago now. Everything was just so different back then. And I just like, wish sometimes we could just push a button and go back to those times, because we didn't. I feel like at least I took it for granted.

[Giannis Pappas]

It was so much fun. And you really infiltrated Riot Cast. You got in there. I mean, if you were. If Riot Cast was a CCP headquarters, you got in there. I mean, you are. You were on every show on Riot Cast.

[Lisa Johnson]

Yeah, almost. There's like ones with bands, I don't know, but didn't they sell it or something along those lines?

[Chris Distefano]

I don't know. We fucking, we, we. We high and dried them for all things comedy and then we left all things comedy and then we stopped the show.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So we're wild. So anything that you could say about anybody else about decisions, it's like, well, we fucking. We're the most wild kids ever. We signed with probably the best ad agency in all podcasting. And we did got one ad and said, see you later.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, look, life is short. You got to live. You got to live without the third rail. Just go downhill, super speed.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what we're doing.

[Giannis Pappas]

And that's what we're doing.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is.

[Lisa Johnson]

Yeah. And I will say this, that I, I remember when I first found the podcast and I you at that point, I think you only had about five episodes or something along those lines. But I think about that point in the PhD.

[Chris Distefano]

All right, look, I mean, cuz, you.

[Giannis Pappas]

Got a nice beard, I got a nice beard. And I tell you what, since everyone stopped going to church, you can grow your hair out now without saying, you know, cut your hair.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you could do that easy. And you know what's been good is Duke Canon. And you know what's nice about Duke Canon is Duke Canon, first of all, you get it at Target, you go to do canon.com, all you got to do is go to do canon.com, this company. So. Well, there's not even a promo code. You just go to Dukenon.com or you go to Target and you get the Dukenon stuff. But it's nice because it's for your beard and Duke Canon, it's one of those things where it's like, it's a product for your Beard. But it also could be the name of your beard. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Giannis Pappas]

Or it could be a good porn star's name.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Imagine a guy named Duke Cannon. Yeah. I mean, a kid's got a piece, he's packing a few names. Duke Cannon.

[Chris Distefano]

Duke Cannon. Cuz it's a nice, nice name. And I mean everybody loves going to Target. I mean when you go to Target you're just gonna find things. Now go look for Duke Cannon when you're there. They got beer, they got the bestian beard oil you've ever seen, and they also got the best damn beard bomb. So if you got beard oil and beard because, and here's the thing, because we just live in a very progressive society. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, if you want to get your beard cute, use Duke Canon.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, you got beard wash, beard oil and best damn beard bomb yet bomb. Try to say that three times.

[Chris Distefano]

Beard bomb, best beard, best damn bad beard bomb.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's the best damn beard bomb. Basically, these are products to make your beard look.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, absolutely. Cuz make 2021 the year you make 2021 the year you help your beard fulfill its potential with high quality beer goods from Duke Cannon. Yeah, pick, pick some up the next time you're at a target. Or visit dukeannon.com to peruse the full, full line of the camera's block. To me, just go to Target and get Duke Cannon.

[Giannis Pappas]

They're paid big money, guys. The key to life is hydration.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you mean like some waters?

[Giannis Pappas]

No, cuz I'm talking about a little special product called Liquid iv.

[Chris Distefano]

Liquid iv? Liquid. Yummy. I heard that that thing has more vitamin C than an orange and more potassium than a banana.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because water's not enough if you're dehydrated, you need potassium, you need sodium, you need your glucose levels to be right. You notice because you're a doctor.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm fucking doctor cuz. One stick of liquid IV in a 16 ounce of water to give as much hydration as two or three bottles of plain water. Cuz you've been on a water app. You should forget the water app. Stop drinking water. Just start drinking Liquid iv.

[Giannis Pappas]

I already have because they sent me some free ones to my house. Guess what? Liquid IV is also donating liquid IV to hospitals and stuff for COVID patients to keep them hydrated. Because make no mistake, first responders, food banks, veterans and active military need to get their water.

[Chris Distefano]

They need to get their water. All you got to do is go to liquidiv.com you use the promo code WILD. You're gonna get 25 off anything you order. I mean, that's insane. Liquidiv.com use the promo code WILD. You get 25 off any of your hydration needs. It's wild.

[Giannis Pappas]

All you do is you take the Liquid IV stick, you put it in the water, you mix it all around. They got great flavors, like strawberry, other flavors. And it's delish and it's healthy for you and you get all the elements you need to stay hydrated.

[Chris Distefano]

Cuz for a long time I just sort of. I thought it was Liquid the fourth because I was looking at Roman numerals.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Because when it's Liquid IV, it's Liquid the Fourth.

[Chris Distefano]

Liquid IV.com promo code WILD compared to now.

[Lisa Johnson]

And it's sort of like a nice benchmark because where I'm at now is like, I know you're skeptical, but I'm quite close to being done almost. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes. And what happened to the boyfriend? Because you guys looked very happy and then you can always tell when people break up just when you look at their Instagram and then. Yeah. But not only is he gone from future, he's erased from all the past photos as well.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, he's.

[Lisa Johnson]

I didn't delete all of the past.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay. I was just taking a guess. I haven't looked at your Instagram in a while. You caught me. You could have played along.

[Lisa Johnson]

Well, no, I kept the ones where I thought, well, I look pretty in that photo.

[Chris Distefano]

Jen, you look pretty in every photo. You're beautiful, you know that? Gorgeous, Jen. And listen, you know, like, we want to say thank you so much for coming and supporting us of all, you know, Yanni and I are going to do our own thing. So come support us there too if you'd like. We're going to still be going wild just on different things.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. And we love you very much. You are also one of the original. I mean, you were on the show, you were part of the show. People who are fans of the show know who you are. It was a very organic thing that happened. I don't even remember how it happened, but you, you paved the way for Venetia.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, let's be honest, the way how it happened is because the show, when we started that show, I was still single then and she was a piece. So I invited her.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's what it was.

[Chris Distefano]

Was.

[Lisa Johnson]

I am.

[Giannis Pappas]

Hey, I said when I was single. You are.

[Chris Distefano]

I meant my past tense a lot. You are currently. You're an exploding piece. You just keep getting hot, just keep getting better.

[Giannis Pappas]

But you really open the door for Greek girls on History Hyenas. You're like the Dr. J.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Of like, without. Without you, there's no Venetia. Like, Venetia doesn't get the confidence to go, hey, I'm a Greek girl. I'm. I'm also doing a PhD in London and Greece and things like that. I'd love to be on the podcast.

[Chris Distefano]

You. You really opened the door. Venatia did that. And you really opened the door for just our fans. Because our fans now we're seeing when we, you know, announce we're ending the show, like, we've really got some psychotic, highly mentally ill fans. And I feel like you opened the door for that because you gave them that. You told the fans basically, like, hey, Chris and Giannis are mentally ill. They're letting their fans come do the show. So that opened the door back. Oh, if we want to. If we're mentally ill and we have psychosis, let. We may be able to get on the show too, because these guys are fucking nuts.

[Giannis Pappas]

Could we. Is there any way we can get Alex? Remember Alex, the guy who was our camera guy for one day?

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, hot Alex. Yeah, Hot Alex. Yeah. I don't know where. I don't even know how to get in touch with that fucking kid.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

All right, Jen, well, listen, thank you so much for being a part of this. We really do appreciate it, and we really, like, you know, maybe one day we'll all do, like, a big reunion show. We'll do this again and stay safe during all this.

[Giannis Pappas]

So good to see your face.

[Lisa Johnson]

Yeah, great to see you too. You know, I would love to see you guys in person at some point soon in the future, but thank you so much for the podcast. I recommended so many people, including my students. A lot of my students and former students are fans.

[Chris Distefano]

Now we're seeing why it takes a little bit for you to get your PhD because you keep getting thrown out of your school because you're recommending this podcast to your students. So that's what it is.

[Lisa Johnson]

Actually, my PhD committee chair has listened to some episodes too. He thought it was very funny.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, good.

[Giannis Pappas]

We love you, Jen. Truly love you. Oh, gee. These are the OG Alex. I remember we were gonna hire Alex, and then we were like, yo, Alex, how much do you want? He was like, Yo, 25, 000 an episode. Yeah. Oh, Mike. Emoji face, Mikey. Mike. Give it up for Mike Suarez, all the way from San Antonio. Texas. How prescient was Mike to know to move back to Texas right before everybody moved back to Texas? Mikey, we love you, brother. How are you?

[Mike Suarez]

Hey, what's going on?

[Giannis Pappas]

What's going on?

[Chris Distefano]

One thing's for sure, buddy. We haven't seen you a little while. You have upgraded your camera equipment, my friend. Wow.

[Giannis Pappas]

But you're in the same room. Because I recognize the room, even though it's blurred out.

[Mike Suarez]

It's a different room. It's not the living room.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, it's a different room. Yeah, we got to hear him a little bit better.

[Chris Distefano]

Hold on. What would I.

[Giannis Pappas]

Give us one second. Mikey. You look great, dude. You look great. I saw you the other night when I did. You know what, dude? It was great to see. I miss you so much.

[Chris Distefano]

You're.

[Giannis Pappas]

That. You're such a sweet guy. And me and Chrissy, we miss you. And you helped us so much, dude. And it's great to see your fucking face. Don't get Covid, please.

[Mike Suarez]

I'm trying to avoid it.

[Chris Distefano]

Let me ask you a question. You've been working on your house. Look at this. In the beginning of quarantine, we were like, oh, Texas, Texas. You know, you will say, what's going on in Texas now? Everybody's coming to you. So now you. It's crazy, dude. You might. There's no point to come back to New York. Are you gonna come back? You're gonna live the rest of your life in Texas now?

[Mike Suarez]

Just depends if New York comes back. I'll go back.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. Well, indoor dining today. Governor Cuomo said indoor dining, 25%. I think I'm gonna start doing shows, but it's only 25%.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, that's a step forward now, San Antonio. So it's like, an hour away from Austin. Is it. Can you consider it? Is it kind of like it's. They're so different, right? I mean, Austin's, like, so cool and hip, and San Antonio is like the Alamo, and then just, like, the largest people you've ever seen in your life.

[Mike Suarez]

Yeah, it's just fat people lost a battle.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. So how has life been? How has life been post hyenas? Because make no mistake, it was Giannis's decision to fire you, not mine. But I had to call you. They made me call you.

[Mike Suarez]

That's been going okay. I mean, I've been getting by. Still doing the producing for Lap Button and stuff like that.

[Chris Distefano]

All right. And are you back. How's your life? Are you back with your. With your wife? What's going on There or is it. Well.

[Mike Suarez]

Oh, no, not at all.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. I wasn't sure because you said you got the house together. I thought maybe you guys were rekindling. I don't know what was going on.

[Mike Suarez]

Oh, no, she just doesn't live here anymore. It's my house.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, so she's. She's out of there? Yeah. Oh, you began some.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, it's Covid. It's tough right now.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, but Mikey doesn't give a fuck. Mikey will go San Antonio. Have you had. Have you had anything come through? Anything nice?

[Mike Suarez]

Not here.

[Giannis Pappas]

This.

[Mike Suarez]

Not here. In here. No, not yet.

[Giannis Pappas]

Mikey, you know what? You could always just lie when we ask you a question.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And what?

[Giannis Pappas]

Just go with it, babe. Just say, yeah, I had a couple dimes over last night. I was finger blasting him like that. I mean, just go, go.

[Chris Distefano]

And I could tell what he's blocking out. I mean, that's a lot of bobblehead and Pokemon cards that are being blurred out in the background. I mean, make no mistake, it's when a woman walks in there, they know what they're getting into. And it's a fucking asthma pump. And that's it. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, that room, it's got a pink wall. So if he brings a woman, then they're gonna go. Is this your sister's room?

[Mike Suarez]

My wife's old office, actually.

[Giannis Pappas]

It is, yeah. It's pink, Man. Mikey miss you so much.

[Chris Distefano]

I really do, bro. I miss. I miss you. I mean, you know, we were. We were talking about it the other day, like, how, like, you know, it's just like those old times like, that we had, like, even in the Riot Kiss Studios, dude, like, we haven't walked in to the comedy seller Riot Cast Studios since March of last year. It was like. It just was over. You know what I mean? Like, that last episode was just, like, over.

[Mike Suarez]

Yes. I haven't been back there since either.

[Chris Distefano]

That was the last. I know. Sometimes I look on your Instagram and that last post of. It's you taking a picture outside by the village underground of the parking garage, and you're like, yeah, you know, I'm not gonna see this place for a while. And it's fucking true, man.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Mike Suarez]

I wonder what happened to that guy.

[Chris Distefano]

Who.

[Mike Suarez]

It's milk cartons.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

[Giannis Pappas]

I.

[Chris Distefano]

Still doing it. Yeah, he's still doing it.

[Giannis Pappas]

That guy can't catch COVID He. I don't think that guy looks like.

[Chris Distefano]

He's.

[Giannis Pappas]

He is. He is. He is resistant to all strains.

[Chris Distefano]

His name is Tiger Hood. Yeah, that's his name on Instagram. Huh?

[Mike Suarez]

That McDonald's closed.

[Chris Distefano]

I know. All the crack. I know, dude. All the crack and fucking all the disease. And if you guys don't know the. The McDonald's on west third in the west Village in Manhattan was the dirtiest, most disgusting McDonald's you've ever seen your life. It was literally known for being horrifyingly filthy. And it actually closed down.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wasn't it voted, like the dirtiest or something?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, right.

[Mike Suarez]

I think so. Any time of day you would see people with airline luggage for some reason.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Well, I think they were selling cocaine and shit out of it.

[Zach Isis]

Yeah.

[Mike Suarez]

Or just living there.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Here's something that people should know, especially since the show's gotten a little bigger. Mike Suarez is an absolutely hilarious standup comedian.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

If you've come to the show recently. Mike was our second producer.

[Chris Distefano]

Mike. Yeah, Mike was our second. Yeah. We have had a lot of staff. I mean, we have head coaches like the fucking Jets.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

We just keep replacing people.

[Giannis Pappas]

So Mike and Mike has opened for me and Chris. He. And we always used to talk about how great a comic he is. He's also the producer of Bobby Kelly's podcast. You know what, dude? Bobby Kelly, one of the funniest guys on planet. Our good friend, our former boss. We got a lot of former bosses.

[Chris Distefano]

A lot of former employees, make no mistake. And we've, we've employed a lot of people who maybe consider nerds. We might be on a couple of hit lists.

[Giannis Pappas]

So, Mikey, what's your Instagram? You got to follow Mike Suarez, and if you, if you see that he's on the bill somewhere, go check out his stand up man. He's a real pro, funny comic. So, Mikey, on Instagram, it's Mike V. Suarez.

[Mike Suarez]

Yeah. @ mikev. Suarez.

[Chris Distefano]

Correct.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

There you go. And I might be coming down to San Antonio. I told you, Mike, in May. And if I do those, you're gonna come with me and do those shows.

[Mike Suarez]

Awesome. Thank you.

[Chris Distefano]

We're gonna have a good time. Now, do you have pants on or no?

[Mike Suarez]

I do. I'm wearing.

[Chris Distefano]

Prove it. Wow, look at Mikey lost some weight.

[Giannis Pappas]

I told you. I can see it right now.

[Chris Distefano]

Mikey lost some weight. How much weight have you lost?

[Mike Suarez]

About £15.

[Chris Distefano]

That's fucking pretty good, Mike.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

What have you been doing?

[Mike Suarez]

Well, just walking mainly. I don't know, I look like I'm dressed like. I get way too mad at children's sporting events.

[Chris Distefano]

Speaking of weight, I've been on the fitness Pal app, my fitness Pal. And I have to log in the potato croquette I just ate.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, there's no fitness app that's gonna stop my boy Chrissy for having a potato croquet.

[Chris Distefano]

Potato croquette. Hold on, let's see how many points I'm gonna get for this fucking potato croquette right here.

[Mike Suarez]

That's what I'm gonna say. 300 calories.

[Chris Distefano]

243.

[Giannis Pappas]

Not that bad.

[Chris Distefano]

No. But now I only got 993 cows remaining.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now how does that app. No. Does it know? No. Nose potato croquettes also has cheese in them.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's the thing with this thing is like you don't know. Like I don't know, it's like not an exact science. You know what I mean?

[Giannis Pappas]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

So it's like. I fucking feel.

[Giannis Pappas]

You look like a million bucks. It doesn't matter. A b. Yeah, you look like a million bucks and you're doing half pull ups from here to here. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

That's a lot of pain.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. That's a lot of weight to pull up though, so that you're strong.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now, Mikey, so you've been losing weight by just moving a little bit.

[Mike Suarez]

Yeah. And then eating better. Eating so much like kale. This last month it's been.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now are you going to move to Austin too? Are you going to stay in San Antonio and keep it real? Kids going to stay?

[Mike Suarez]

I would just stay here. I wouldn't move to Austin. I mean, it's an end up happening where there's one giant city at one point.

[Giannis Pappas]

So do you think there's a possibility that Texas just gets really annoyed with Austin and they grab their guns and they just go him hipster hunting?

[Mike Suarez]

No, because off that part of Austin is like four square blocks, Right. The rest of it, you leave that little area and then it's like back to cowboy hats and. And yeah, right, right.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, we're all there where Rogan and all these guys are moving it. That's not. That's like very Republican probably. Right?

[Mike Suarez]

I mean there's just the rich people area where they're like, they say woke things, but the only Hispanics are cleaning their cars.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right, right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, that's what.

[Chris Distefano]

You just make me hungry, Mike. Yeah, I look at you.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wow. Yeah, I think we got a love connection here. Mikey, bro, so good to see you, man. And we hope to see you in person. We definitely will. I mean, absolutely. When Chris is on a road, I'm on the road. We're fucking, we're Gonna ride again. We're gonna gang bang again, brother.

[Chris Distefano]

Sweet. Love you, Mike. I'll call you. Let's talk this week and we'll call a fucking say hello to the baby. Whatever you want, Bubs.

[Mike Suarez]

All right, guys. Thank you.

[Giannis Pappas]

Come over for Christmas this year.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Mike Suarez]

Oh, for sure.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Didn't Mikey come over here to my.

[Chris Distefano]

House for Christmas and I helped him? We. He moved the couch for me and he almost had a heart attack.

[Mike Suarez]

Oh, God. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And he took like a 20 minute shit in my bathroom.

[Mike Suarez]

That is true.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

My stepmom was like, is he okay in there? My stepmother's like, is he okay in there? My dad was like, you fucking put a lot of salt in the lasagna.

[Mike Suarez]

I was sweating. I was like, should I take a shower? It was a lot of thoughts going in there.

[Chris Distefano]

Great.

[Mike Suarez]

Great Christmas.

[Giannis Pappas]

Peace out, Mike.

[Chris Distefano]

I love you, brother.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now, a lot of old school fans may know. They all know. They know we're peculiar kids. But there's one thing that I learned about you that we talked about on the podcast from hanging out with you. Is that you, when you take a dump, even if you're alone in the house, you like to run the water. You've been a fan of running water before. Smithtown Water Department. You love water. Can I get a cup of water with you? There was a while we were asking girls on dates and you would ask girls, you want to go out and.

[Chris Distefano]

Get a cup of water? You want to go get some water? No, my move. My text was like, you want to get pizza and cupcakes?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Is that Rafael DeLuca there?

[Chris Distefano]

Holy cuz.

[Giannis Pappas]

Are you a mormon now?

[Chris Distefano]

What happened? The. Are you doing? Are you. Are you find GameStop.

[Rafael DeLuca]

I'm back in the Robinhood. Investors.

[Giannis Pappas]

I heard you were engaged. I heard your wife. Yeah.

[Rafael DeLuca]

So I'll break it down for you. You guys are number one always friggin, you know, 10 out of 10. The thing was, is that during like the whole pandemic and I got engaged and then you guys started putting out so much content that I was like behind on it. And I was like, I'm not gonna put something out and like listen to it. Like I wanted to like watch everything in order because if I put something out, it would be doing it. Like somebody disjustice, like, or an injustice.

[Giannis Pappas]

A real long way of just trying to say you were pussy whipped.

[Chris Distefano]

I was pussy whipped is what I'm trying. Wouldn't let you fucking listen to the show because we were going batshit crazy wild. Not at all.

[Rafael DeLuca]

She Loves it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Look, I just want you to know I did a podcast I didn't want to do because they were friends with you. I'm just kidding. Really enjoyed it.

[Chris Distefano]

And here's the thing. Here's the beautiful thing about you. Here's what I fucking love about you is you're a Harvard educated kid, you're so smart, you could have done whatever, but you decide to be a dj and we can just tell you have a piece of shit car, so.

[Giannis Pappas]

You.

[Chris Distefano]

Know, you don't have a fucking sunroof. I mean, you went to Harvard. You could have a. You could have a moonroof the size of the car. But you said, you know what? I'm gonna get a Kia. Cause I gotta do sweet 16s.

[Rafael DeLuca]

I'm sticking to my dream, guys. Come on, man. Yeah, this is it. I mean, what's going?

[Chris Distefano]

Like we're fucking batshit crazy wild. Cause you've been day one listener. You know that you're D1G. You know that we go wild. And we just said, you know what? 190 episodes is enough. We fucking are 277th ranked podcast. We said, no more.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, we just want to go on top.

[Rafael DeLuca]

You were number one in Libya for like four weeks.

[Giannis Pappas]

We did.

[Chris Distefano]

We were number one in Libya. We still might be.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Look.

[Rafael DeLuca]

I think that dropped off once you got rid of isis.

[Chris Distefano]

I know, good point.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Now here's the deal. There's a lot of people watching right now going, who's Rafael DeLuca? They're new listeners. Rafael DeLuca is another D1 OG who used to make songs for us. They're so funny. He's a hilarious kid. He's also a professional. He has a job. We just used to call him a DJ and we used to ignore the rest of his life. And we painted him as this big dj. But you do dj, but you also have a job and you live a life and you're a normal kid. And you were just a huge part of our show for a while.

[Rafael DeLuca]

Yeah, I mean, yeah, you guys were, you know, I became, you know, you were ingrained in my life and everything, and I just love doing it. And it was a weird transition in mind because I was like weaning off the DJ career, then entering in like the real adult job life. But like, you guys were the last little thing I was hanging on to to keep the. The creative side alive.

[Chris Distefano]

So what do you do now? Are you a manager at Best Buy? What do you do now?

[Rafael DeLuca]

I'm a clerk at GameStop. No, I work for a big Marketing agency for automotive. But I still make music for TV shows. And you know, you're still not using your Harvard education.

[Chris Distefano]

You're still breaking your parents hearts.

[Rafael DeLuca]

Do you remember?

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, your. Your family reached out to us many times. It was like, can you have an intervention with this kid? He went to fucking Harvard.

[Giannis Pappas]

You remember?

[Rafael DeLuca]

You're not the only one.

[Giannis Pappas]

So you remember when. When Raphael posted that photo and then we reposted it of him as a football player in high school? Yeah, the kid was jacked, Jack. And a stone cold, I mean, carved out for Rome piece. I mean, because you. And you still are a piece. But I mean, when you're in high school, you were Chris.

[Rafael DeLuca]

Yeah, it went off the rails. I broke my nose a couple times playing college football. And yeah, it's.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's just what it is.

[Rafael DeLuca]

I mean, I. Literally everyone that I'm in contact with, with, even if I haven't been so present with the podcast talks like you guys, you guys created a. Not only a dialect, not only a slang, an actual language. What it is, it will be a part. It'll be a part of my life the rest like forever. It's like, yes. I got people saying to you like.

[Chris Distefano]

It don't even do it.

[Rafael DeLuca]

Degrees from you guys.

[Chris Distefano]

It'll never stop. And by the way, to the fans, we still have patreon.com bayridge boys up for $5 a month. We got that up all the archive, get involved, whatever you guys want. And then me and Johnny have our own things that will be guesting on each other's stuff and doing our own thing. So go follow us there too. We'll be posting where it's at.

[Rafael DeLuca]

That's what it is, guys. Well, thanks for letting me call in and say hi, I love you and we'll meet again soon in another world. So.

[Chris Distefano]

Absolutely, cuz.

[Rafael DeLuca]

Good luck next man. We'll talk soon.

[Giannis Pappas]

Love you, brother.

[Chris Distefano]

Love you, Rob. Luca. Fucking great kid. Great fucking kid. I mean, we have our fans. This. This like honestly, ending the podcast is to me is worth it. For this episode we're getting to catch up with like the fucking absolute. Oh, geez.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a. It's a trip down memory lane. It's. We're exploring the history of our podcast through the people that were a big part of it during different times throughout.

[Chris Distefano]

The journey, different eras. So let's go. So who's. Who's up next? Let's do Richie G. Let's do Richie G. Oh, wow. And now we know why Venetia did come in Today?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I'm gonna say we started at the top of the socioeconomic status. We dipped down to the middle, and now we're.

[Chris Distefano]

Look at this kid right here. I mean, cuz, this kid is short stopping stocks all over.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, look at Richie G. Cause. Are you getting blown under the desk right now?

[Chris Distefano]

No, because I mean, Richie G. I mean, cuz, what do you have to say about GameStop?

[Mark Jenkins]

I think it's funny that no one actually understands what's going on in the finance world.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's true. Because how much blow did you do that? You're chewing that gum that hard. Does he look cranked out or is it just me?

[Chris Distefano]

No, he's cranked out. Yeah, look, he's got drinking fucking water.

[Mark Jenkins]

I'm on like four hours of sleep total this week, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

Why? What's going on in your life? What's happening?

[Mark Jenkins]

Fucking GME, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

What's GME?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Oh, GameStop.

[Mark Jenkins]

To take her for GameStop.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, wow.

[Giannis Pappas]

Did you. Were you one of the guys who was putting money into it? Are you one of the guys who's losing money?

[Mark Jenkins]

Look, here's what you have to understand. Here's what people don't understand about the hedge fund world versus these retail investors is hedge fund guys have to go through a lot of red tape whenever they do these investments. You can't just conspire together to all go into a stock. And that's why these issuers are keeping people from shorting and effectively, you know, buying as much as they can of GME because it's conspiring. That's what market manipulation is. Market manipulation is not like keeping people from buying stock. That's actually keeping the market in homeostasis.

[Giannis Pappas]

Well, now, so what kind of red.

[Chris Distefano]

Did you just say what kind of.

[Giannis Pappas]

Red tape you guys got to do?

[Mark Jenkins]

I mean, it's like do the SEC audits you all the time. Fucking. You know, there's a paper trail for everything in every. Every fucking and, you know, purchase you make. There's just a system for everything.

[Chris Distefano]

And then, I mean, the kids are on a little blow.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's also losing a lot of money on GameStop right now.

[Chris Distefano]

So that's the thing. This Patreon, this show ending couldn't have come in a better time because this kid gave a lot of money to the Patreon. He's like, thank God, because I just lost millions on these fucking nerds from GameStop.

[Mark Jenkins]

No, man, I don't have any money there.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay, good. All right, well, we got. That's. We got a thorough explanation from you. What's going on with GameStop? There's a lot of red tape. And it's not. You guys aren't all evil is what you're saying. Right? Even though you look like the book cover from Less Than Zero, you're not. You look like a Brett Easton Ellis character.

[Mark Jenkins]

I don't know what that means, but that's awesome. Thank you.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're too young to know, but it was. It's a. It's a movie.

[Chris Distefano]

Baby face. He's got a baby face.

[Giannis Pappas]

Bad. Yeah, he does.

[Mark Jenkins]

I look like Chris if he got skinny.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Which I'm getting. I am getting skinnier, bitch.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, you got good hair.

[Chris Distefano]

You do got good hair.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Fucking kid. Now, Richie, let me ask you this. What's your plan now that hyenas is over? I mean, what are you gonna do?

[Mark Jenkins]

I mean, look, dude, I said it. You can go look on the Patreon. I put up a post. I. I don't give a shit what you guys do. Like, I don't care if you fucking want to go back to being a doctor and. And Janice wants to go talk alone in a cave or whatever the fuck he's gonna.

[Chris Distefano]

I just.

[Zach Isis]

I'm good.

[Mark Jenkins]

Whatever you do, I'm gonna say he's.

[Chris Distefano]

Going to support whatever he said.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Because, Richie, he's an adult. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Mark Jenkins]

Whatever you do, I'm going to support. It's. You know, at this point, I almost feel like I owe you guys. So thank you. And I'm excited about whatever else you have going on.

[Chris Distefano]

See, Richie, that's what I'm saying. Like, you.

[Giannis Pappas]

You.

[Chris Distefano]

You represent. And by the way, the majority of our fans think and act like you, where you were just saying, hey, they want to end it. They want to end it. Thankful. We're the audience of the show. Thankful. Thank you for the. For the stuff that we've had. And we'll support you whatever you do, because there's been some fucking nut. I mean, serious people are messaging my fucking girlfriend, calling her slut.

[Mark Jenkins]

I message her, too, but that was just for the chil. Achilles recipe.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, dude, I gotta be honest with you. I gotta be fucking honest with you. We're about to have another baby. But if you want to fucking slide in there, because I. What I really need is her, is, you know, I need my kids to have a rich stepdaddy, and you're that guy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Nice.

[Mark Jenkins]

Perfect.

[Giannis Pappas]

Richie, we love you so much, man. You became a big part of our family, especially over at Patreon during the super chats, you know, you're the, you're Michael Jordan at a super chats, bro. Michael Jordan, the history hyena. Super chats. And because of you, Chris's baby owns.

[Chris Distefano]

A few new toys and Richie, thank you. I just want to say personally, thank you so much. You know, we're gonna be starting our own things pretty soon and you know the money we're making, I think this was a lot. Now it's going down to zero. So if I could get a loan from you, that would be perfect.

[Mark Jenkins]

Yeah, man, no sweat. And I'm. I have tickets to come see you in March, so. Where?

[Chris Distefano]

What venue?

[Mark Jenkins]

I don't fucking. I. Dude, I just moved out to Kansas City like five months ago. I don't know what it's called. I bought them like a long time ago.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh no, but I think that that was, I think that's been so. Yeah, but, but I'll be coming to Kansas City sometime around there soon. But we have to move some March and April dates now. Can we Covid.

[Giannis Pappas]

When we come to your performing, your city, can we stay in a penthouse?

[Mark Jenkins]

Yeah, I moved to a cooler place in my opinion, but yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay, cool. Yeah, all right.

[Chris Distefano]

Any, any. Did you anything ever get me? We're in Ben A T or no.

[Mark Jenkins]

I mean, we're still working on it, man.

[Chris Distefano]

Fuck it. Yeah, baby. You know you got that GameStop money. Yeah, right. All right, bubbas. Richie, thank you. Thank you so much, man. You're fucking. Dude, this is just a farewell app where we're just kind of having a good time, having a celebration, eating zucchini slices. We're just going out, you know.

[Mark Jenkins]

Nice, man.

[Chris Distefano]

We're wild kids. Yeah.

[Mark Jenkins]

Question, Question. Didn't get to ask before. Yeah, all right. This one I'm just gonna fucking ask. Whatever.

[Chris Distefano]

Kids work, so.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, take your time to take a look at that game stock. Yeah.

[Mark Jenkins]

As a, as a doctor, Chris, as a doctor, you've gotten to check out several big name glue guns in the entertainment industry. So in all honesty, which charismatic, talented, funny, short haired ladies man had a bigger piece. Dan Soder.

[Chris Distefano]

Cut him off.

[Giannis Pappas]

Richie G's a legend. Richie G's a legend.

[Chris Distefano]

And on that note, we're out. Because make no mistake, we'll have to edit that part out.

[Giannis Pappas]

Richie G, you're a fucking legend, dog.

[Mark Jenkins]

Later, guys. Thank you so much.

[Chris Distefano]

Later, bro. I'd be Richie G. Richie G with a homer.

[Giannis Pappas]

Richie, that's what you call a kamikaze.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, Richie G with a homer.

[Giannis Pappas]

I would homer.

[Chris Distefano]

I don't know what Venity is thinking I mean, get with this guy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Love you, Richie.

[Chris Distefano]

Love you, Richie.

[Giannis Pappas]

Love you guys.

[Mark Jenkins]

Thanks so much.

[Giannis Pappas]

Everybody who's listening now knows Richie G is because Richie G is more one of our more recent superheroes.

[Chris Distefano]

If you don't know Richie G, then you really weren't ever a fan.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's one of our superheroes. And by superheroes, I mean biggest contributor, biggest contributors.

[Chris Distefano]

I would say Richie G. Probably between the YouTube super chats, the patrons over the past year probably gave us about 10K.

[Giannis Pappas]

And here's the thing again. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but. But what I really enjoyed about. What I really enjoyed about history hyenas is just the variety of people that we brought in, right? Very hard to do nowadays when everything's marketed towards a niche and everyone's breaking off these little pieces. We brought people together through absolute wild laughter. And here is the queen of the matriarchy herself. I mean, she is, let's just be honest, Lisa Johnson is a fucking hot woman.

[Chris Distefano]

She's a stone cold piece. I mean, if there's a countdown that's going off, it's for her to get divorced.

[Giannis Pappas]

Her wedding was beautiful. I followed her on the Gram and she accepted. She's private. She's not open to the Hyena fans. But since, since me and her. Me and you are on the Hyenas. She accepted me and I perused her wedding photos and it was a nice wedding. And she's married to a nice guy.

[Chris Distefano]

Nice guy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Kids got a nice smile and nice eyes.

[Chris Distefano]

Is he white?

[Giannis Pappas]

He's not white. I tell you this much. When they danced, it wasn't to Keith Urban. It was probably to a Keith Sweat song.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, love Keith Sweat. Love Lisa. How are you? I'm good.

[I]

And you're actually wrong, Yanni. We danced to the song from Pulp Fiction. We did the Pulp Fiction dance.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, I knew you'd have to. That's a sense of humor. That's Lisa Johnson right there. The best Halloween, the best history hyenas Halloween outfit of all time. She went as my tweets.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a 10 out of 10. Have you ever personally met Lisa Johnson?

[Giannis Pappas]

No. You met her.

[Chris Distefano]

I met her in Atlanta. And what. I mean, just, I mean, amazing person. Like when I. Oh, I met, of.

[Giannis Pappas]

Course I met Lisa Johnson.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. I went to the Graverton Theater.

[Giannis Pappas]

And you didn't only meet her in Atlanta. She came to both of our shows in New York. Right?

[Chris Distefano]

I was gonna say Atlanta and New York. I was Gramercy theater thing. But it's Just like, I remember meeting you. I remember the first time meeting you, I was starstruck. I was like, that's really Lisa Johnson.

[Giannis Pappas]

And then you texted me and said, lisa Johnson's a peace.

[Chris Distefano]

I was like, a peace.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean. Cause you are. You're very pretty. You're very funny. You are the queen of the matriarchy. Our entire podcast knows who you are. You're the most famous Patreon member. You and Richie G became the two most famous Patreon members.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. How do you feel about the show ending, babe?

[I]

I mean, it is what it is. I mean, of course, like, day one, I was kind of, like, sad, but then I, like, thought, hey, I'm gonna be saving 25 bucks, so.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. That's what it is. You're again. Yeah, I know that. That's the thing. It's like, people were upset, but then, like, you, like, you know, you're like, okay, upset, but then you're like, oh, I realized, like, yeah, I like that show, but I have a full life that I don't need history. I need to keep living.

[I]

No, I mean, we. I see you guys on Instagram, you guys are doing your own thing. So, I mean, eventually I will follow. So, I mean, it's not a. I guess this is not a big deal to me, but when I went back and listened to all the old stuff, I was like, damn, like, we're not going to get this vibe anymore. But I mean, it is what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, we. But you will. Because, see, me and Yanis think, like, things because we're, you know, we'll do our own things and the fans will come and we'll do reunions here and there and like, we'll just, just go out on top. Like, like Yanni said, we'll just go out on Top as a 277th ranked podcast of all time. And we just have. We'll always have these memories and who knows, maybe a year from now we'll just fucking start it up again.

[Giannis Pappas]

We may just do it.

[I]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Make it another country and do it. We may try to get sex changes and come back and do a female version of it. Yeah. Like they did with Ghostbusters. Anything could happen.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[I]

I'm not worried about it all, because, I mean, if we still do it, the live show, like, now I have friends up there that I met through the podcast. Like, there's a reason to go up there. Like, it's not, I guess it's just eventually a work, so I'm not really worried about it. But it's actually funny. I never told you this, Chris, but when you came to Atlanta, I told you for you to sit on my lap, and you were like, oh, I'm a big guy, whatever. And I was like, no, it's fine. It's actually funny because my thigh hurts for three days after you sat on my left, and I was like, oh, damn.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, No, I got childbearing hips. It's just. No matter. No matter what. With my fitness pal app, no matter how I try to hit the gym, I got those thunder thighs, baby.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cause you got a big dumper.

[Chris Distefano]

You got a big dumper at. Lisa wishes you had my ass.

[I]

Yeah, true, true. Yeah, we're paying top dollar for that.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know what, Lisa? I just want to let you know, you've been one of our, like, biggest supporters. You mean so much to us. Also, you brought us a lot of joy because you were so funny, so funny and so committed. You did the Halloween costumes, the drive thru bit.

[Chris Distefano]

Remember?

[Giannis Pappas]

Like, she did the video. I mean, we played it on the podcast. And so you. The thing about our podcast that was so unique was that the fans, I don't know, it was something me and Chris always talked about. Like, did we just attract the funniest, most fun people?

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I think we did, because you guys especially, you gave us so much joy. We laughed a lot at things you would do.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[I]

I mean, let's just be honest, the wheel doesn't turn all the way for me. So I think that's just your target audience.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You know, Frank, the queen of franks and beans. You know, I think. I think I agree with everything you said. Yes. And I think what Lisa did was she was, like, the pioneer of being, like, the funny fan and putting the funny content. It attracted all these other funny people, and they were, like, trying to outdo her. And with that, it was like, everybody got so funny. So Lisa, we. I don't think the podcast would be where it's at without Lisa Johnson. I genuinely mean that.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, she was. She's like. It's like part of the folklore. And I even remember that video or the. There was times she put up comments, and then you could see everyone going. They go, hail, Queen. Give it to the queen. Funniest one. She always had the funniest content or the funniest, funniest comment. I mean, sometimes I just can't say words. Yeah, funniest comment and the funniest video. And so, yeah, you really were the pioneer and sort of setting the vibe back there in that community on the community board. And so. You're just the best, Lisa. You're the best.

[Chris Distefano]

Really are.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm glad we stole you from flagrant too. That's where you found us, right?

[I]

Yeah. I started listening to them. You guys went on and then I decided following you guys and it was all she wrote. But it's actually funny because I like troll the fuck out of you guys on your ig live. You probably don't notice, but like, I'll just. Whenever you see somebody, like, gosh, like, why are they talking tons of shit? It's probably troll.

[Chris Distefano]

I love it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's great to know. It's great.

[I]

I came from flagrant too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Love it, Lisa. Well, thank you so much. Thank you. We just wanted to say goodbye, farewell. It's not over for us. The show's over. But, you know, we know we'll all see each other again.

[Giannis Pappas]

We love you so much.

[I]

I know you guys love Savannah. I mean, whenever you're in Atlanta, just like, let me know and you know, I'll make my way to. To like hang out with you guys.

[Chris Distefano]

So.

[I]

But yeah, good luck on everything. You know, I know you guys are going to become successful and, you know, it's been fun. So I really appreciate it.

[Chris Distefano]

All right, thank you, Lisa. I love you.

[Giannis Pappas]

The great Lisa Johnson. I mean, yeah, that would be a number. I got a little emotional because she was such a good fan. She's such a good fan. She'll continue to be. But yeah, that, you know, she's Lisa Johnson. Just really, really set the tone for what our fans are like.

[Chris Distefano]

She really did. She really did. I. Let's read. Let's read. Who's Mark Jenkins?

[Giannis Pappas]

There's a guy who slipped through. It's hilarious.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Let's just see who it ISIS is.

[Chris Distefano]

Good, because we gotta read the put it up your ass.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because let me tell you something right now, you set a lot of trends in this podcast. The first one is fainting. You like to faint. The second one is going out of business. We're doing that too.

[J]

Yeah, dude, straight to the ground.

[Chris Distefano]

Straight into the fucking ground, cuz. What's been going on? You look. It looks like it's been a rough couple of months for you.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know, I got a little bit.

[J]

Of wind burn on my face because I'm from Scotland. You know how it is. The best year of my life ever since I've left the old lakeside. But maybe that's just one of us.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Cuz, dude, you want to hear a.

[Chris Distefano]

Real close fucking love yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm not even. I'm not even lying, man. I'm not even joking. This morning I had a yogurt and I threw Lakeside Maple, and I still have. You gave us so much Lakeside Maple. I still have.

[J]

It is a rancid. Thrown in the garbage, actually.

[Giannis Pappas]

My wife said it's bad, and I said, no, we haven't even opened it yet. Nuts don't go bad, do they?

[J]

Oh, yeah, they go bad when you cook them. They're not raw, so they're definitely stale at this point. But it tastes good, you know?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, because he's had some. He's had some wicked farts as a stomach issue. So you think that's the cause right there? Definitely. 100%. So what's going on? So you left Lakeside Maple. What do you do now?

[J]

I'm an arborist now, so I climb trees and do all that tree work stuff. I kind of was doing that before I did trail mix, so I just jumped back in with my old.

[Giannis Pappas]

How about this? Let's do a funny thing. Since the podcast has gotten bigger, I want you to go. I want everyone listening to this to go to lakesidemaple.com and just buy Lakeside Maple. Yeah, buy it. It's trail mix. It's delicious. Go. I want you to back this kid so he doesn't know what to do with his arbor business. Yeah, drive up Lakeside Maple.

[Chris Distefano]

Drive it up like GameStop.

[Zach Isis]

Hell yeah, boys.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, what a ride.

[J]

What a ride.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, bubbas. No, dude, we. Yeah, dude, we just decided to fucking go batshit crazy wild and end the podcast abruptly and just fucking go wild and do one farewell episode. I mean, who's the wildest kids, you know?

[Giannis Pappas]

These two cute kids right here.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cause let me just tell you something. I respect you so much because you went for it. You started a business, you did it all on your own. You got into Whole Foods, and then just like in Goodfellas, when things. It didn't look like you were gonna make the pay, you just burnt the fucker down. Did you at least collect some insurance money?

[J]

You know, I did. I did collect. I didn't pay my last rent. I didn't do anything. And I said, keep the security deposit.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm out. I'm out of here, dude. And that's what we love about you. I mean, as soon as. As soon as Yanni did Rogan and was up, we saw it's time to end it. We got the moment we've been waiting for, is Joe Rogan, and we Said, see you later. See, we were like, yeah, let's. Let's get the Patreon up to this number and hit that number. We said, fuck you. Let's go back to being.

[Giannis Pappas]

We're going. No, it's going too fast. There's too many people into it.

[J]

Yeah, you see your friends like Andrew Schultz and Tim Dynamic. No, I want to back off a little bit.

[Chris Distefano]

And $100,000 a month. Fuck those losers.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, we want to. Yeah, we're going back to square one. And then like Chrissy said, who knows, we may come. We may rename the podcast Lakeside Maple.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, we might come back with a new podcast called Hyenas History.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, we may come back with a new podcast where it's just me, you and Chris. It's.

[J]

Yeah, all I do is fate.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just what it is, baby.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuz I may move in with your mom. I'm a wild kid.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, come in.

[J]

I got a futon here for you.

[Chris Distefano]

Where you from? Where's that accent from?

[Giannis Pappas]

Jersey.

[J]

Oh, Lake Hopaca, New Jersey.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Cause I'm coming to Jersey in March. Come to the shows.

[J]

Oh, I'm there already, baby.

[Chris Distefano]

I've got Atlantic City in February and then a fucking red back New Jersey in March.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know what's funny? You know what's funny? Lakeside Maple was such a big part of. It was such a big part of our show that I never even learned this kid's name.

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Giannis Pappas]

Do you know his name right now?

[Chris Distefano]

No, that's Mark Jenkins, but only because we saw his name on the Zoom, but we genuinely. We thought somebody snuck in.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And then as soon as you saw your face, it's. Oh, it's the Lakeside Maple kid.

[J]

Well, it's me now. You know, I really. Yeah, that's my Instagram name too.

[Giannis Pappas]

And dude, he's such a big fan. Dude, you were always big. You got the team. Cute.

[Chris Distefano]

Look at that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Hung up behind you. Let me tell you something, man. You're just as big. You're just as big of a part of our show as Lisa Johnson is. Richie G. Lakeside Maple made it into the songs.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

People using their Patreon name, saying they were gonna take Lakeside Maple and stuff it up their ass.

[J]

CHRISSY G. My favorite part, when I was listening to it and I heard that, I was like, wow, I made it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I mean, people were making anal beads that said Lakeside Maple. I mean, it got wild.

[Giannis Pappas]

It got wild because Chrissy said that the way he eats it is he gets on the floor and he eats it with his butt. And I said he would scoot around like a dog with an itchy bum.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is. And then that, that caught on. And then when you said, you know what? Lakeside Maple is finally getting its name recognized, you said, it's time to shut the business down. And that's exactly what we did.

[J]

Go get a mediocre blue collar.

[Chris Distefano]

The kid wants his zucchini spot.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, it's time for zucading.

[J]

Oh yeah, Nana's.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, those pizza, cuz.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, you want to come over and have a zucchini slice?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, make no mistake. You want to come over? You want to come over? Because the studio is fucking empty after this. So you can come and rent that out.

[J]

Yeah, I want to get a good deal.

[Giannis Pappas]

Just look, we're gonna do a big fucking party at next holiday at Christmas house. Yeah, and we're gonna bite you. You want to come down?

[Chris Distefano]

You want to come? You could fucking cater it, cuz I.

[J]

Don'T cook, but I'll love it. I'll yell your fucking pizza.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now what made you think, you know what, you know, it's a hot ticket. Let me get into the trail mix business.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, what was that about?

[J]

Well, it was something my mom used to make and then people wanted to buy it off me. Like she would send to me at college and my friends and my floor mates would like let me buy that. I was like, oh, right. And I never did anything with that. But then like a couple years later, I was like, fuck, was working for the man. I want to work for my, myself. And I started doing it and it took off. And then, you know, it's probably the worst thing it did was take off because.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, because now. But let me tell you something, it was delicious and you went for it, bro. So it's like, yeah, things either work or they don't. But at the end of the day, we all die. None of this matters. Yeah, forget who cares.

[Chris Distefano]

And you know what? And you know what I'm also thankful for? Because it's all kind of coming full circle now. And I have to see your face to realize the night my dog Larry died, I put Lakeside Maple in his bowl. And you were the one that sent it to heaven. It was you and your product. So thank you so much. You were the one that got Larry off the Runway. Because I'm almost positively choked on a piece from Lakeside Maple. And the kid went out doing my part.

[J]

Kid, that's what I'm here for.

[Chris Distefano]

Appreciate it, brother. Listen, we love you so much, you guys.

[J]

For letting me be a part of this community. And it was really something. It was really cool. And I'm proud of you guys, even though I don't really know you, but I really am. It was really cool to watch from where it started to, you know, a real fucking thing, and it was.

[Chris Distefano]

Appreciate it, buddy. And listen, we're not going any. You know, we got. We both got our own thing. So look out for that and come follow us there, support us there, and, you know, if we're ever in your town, please come see us. Because you make no mistake or getting right backstage. If you come up to either Meyer Giannis's green room and the person outside, if you give the name Lakeside Maple, you're fucking coming in, Covid or no Covid.

[J]

All right, I'm gonna hold you to that, my man.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm serious. I'm dead serious.

[J]

Awesome.

[Giannis Pappas]

All right, bubba. Thank you, Mark.

[Chris Distefano]

Thank you. Mark Jenkins. I mean, you got a black kid's name. Thank you, thank you.

[Giannis Pappas]

What a great kid.

[Chris Distefano]

You heard him. He said I got a black dick. All right, here. You, I'm gonna do. While you're eating, I'm gonna fucking rattle Patreon names. This is what it is. Michael Sandberg, Nick, Tommy the Slavi Benjamin. When I take anti Histis, my throat itches for day one gay one. Lloyd, Cody, Rose, John Black, Ari the Sandy D. That Donnie T that loves Donnie T. Amadi. Then we got Curtis C. Wipe Hunter Biden's crack pipe. Then we got Jukini slices and Poughkeepsie. Then we got Sasson Conquistador space meat. Then we got Mark Z wants some Zani, some Yanni suziki inside of a Chrissy D, Yanni Panini. Then we got Mark Merriman, Austin Montville. Then we got Finzo the ginzo bootscoots his shoot flute in a toots glutes and he's thrushing like the last Mohican Francisco. Then we got Matthew English, Heidi Klum. The fume tomb. Dan the sauce monkey. But make no mistake, I like fat white chicks like Namin. Okay, I didn't see that one coming. Then we got Eric Centeno. Then we got Chrissy D's piece. Gave my obese Middle east niece the yeast. Then we got pickle filling, Timmy Dillon's belly betting. Sorry, Lynn. It's Father Bill and his little children. Then you got Sarah, Chris Verde, Timmy D's ringed up purple Dong Bull. Then we got Gruel Inspector. Then we got I can only eat slices of peace as with Papa Giannis's. Garlic butter box Sauce us. And make no mistake, I'm talking about vaginas. Then we got Dami. Make no mistake, I'm not gay But Chrissy can fill my twinkhole in. Royce for Pennsylvania Delakia. Then we got N Bomb Dom. Okay then we got Frank Chucky D. Then we got Ari Abreu. Then we got when the glue hits your eye like a Chrissy Creams cream. Next tie like a Chrissy creams necktie that's Amore. They got Trevor Quentin Minifield, Kim Jong Fumi Poon, Matt Morales. Then we got Chrissy's chlamydia and Yannis clonies. Cover my 401k city MD cuz he was he Wojek Bednara Michael Then we got Chrissy Stick my piece through a bagel hole and come come on my Puerto Rican baby mama's tum tum Stefano. Then we gotta follow the situation on Insta She's a piece might take a spin class. Slks I got Mark Mazzilli, Jeremy Schultz, Rick Sales, Chrissy D and Yanni P. Can cackle tackle and spackle me, Matt Small, Nicholas Stryker, Gadimos G. Yanni's declining mental state. We got David Fracasa, Kevin Steven Contreras. Then we got the ghost of Governor Fumario Cuomo.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean that one was there for the take.

[Chris Distefano]

Great one. Then we got Nick Winkowski, Khan Ka Clayton, Kittridge Douglas Francisco Joshua Robertson. Then we got Chrissy Confederate the Glenn Fisher of the cute Cucks clan. Summer Rogers Slap Hammer Tits Scotty Karate's crack dealer Dan Ken. My cousin Mike is on clown's but his girlfriend is for Rome. Hashtag Tim Dylan is skinny. Then we got Sissy. Chrissy's on his knees waiting for duck sauce courtesy of Bobby Lee Syphilitic egg roll Tony Michael Lawson, Chrissy Soft lips and hips. Giannis Benzo the Clown Clown of penis Tommy 302 Police don't hurt MAGA White Supremacist Capitol rioters because they're on the same team. Bag of donuts. Then we got the Z fumer film. JFK is still a piece.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh my God, that's a good one.

[Chris Distefano]

JFK still a piece is great. Then I got Cuz he tested posi still cramming ass but I'm talking clown. He's the new Covid Vax. Henry penis helmet got snipped. Now I can't take a piss.

[Giannis Pappas]

Coira Henry P. Just stop it at Henry penis helmet.

[Chris Distefano]

Henry Penis helmet There we got Chrissy D and Yanni P voted Donnie T. AKA Harold and Fumar storm the White Castles. Then we got Amy Schumer.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chicken Finger.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Then we got Cuck Ripken Jr. Aka Fumar, Odom's brother in law, Kanye 2024. Ant Parker. Then we got Ricky the Freaky, who's nice and squeaky. Can I wash my binky in your kitchen sinky? Then we got Jeremy when I'm not cracking a toot, my chopsticks have fumes like Chrissy. Then we got Call Me Rizzy. Chrissy. Sissy getting busy making his three inch piece. Fizzy. Noah Grace, David Spangler, Keegan Delaney, Jake the Medium Snake who likes to wake and bake and crank it to Chrissy D's sweet cupcake, Tommy the Turkey. They them. Mike Rowe didn't know what to do with me while filming Dirty Jobs. He's on notice.

[Giannis Pappas]

Some guys just write full sentences. Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Chrissy's worn out Uvula, Raymond Domingue. Jennifer, Lieutenant Lollipop and Sergeant Snuggles would have saved the Capitol with their software kisses and soft hands. Chris Bailey. Then we got the real G, Clowny P. Stimulating Turkey Peen, AKA John Rowe or whatever. Manny Francisco. Then we got Yanni Clowny. Sucking toes is my hobby. It's what it is. Then we got Venity Enemy Square.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean. Oh my God. Yeah, that's a good one.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow. Daniel Hernandez. Remy Andrew Schultz's big Black dick Chicken Finger. Then we got Biz straight to the back. The wizard is Moises Carrillo. Daniel Terry, Ken Shoots. Kyle, Rob Guerry, Nick Shelton. Anthony come at you in a different way. Fauci. Then we got Alex. Chrissy needs to stay away from my kids because I'm white, my wife is black and he's going to think they're cookies.

[Giannis Pappas]

Teague.

[Chris Distefano]

There we go.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, Venatimian, Teenian Square.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I mean, it's a 10 out of 10. Yeah. So we got. We still got a couple hundred names to read. I mean, should we just bang them all out? I mean, what should we do?

[Giannis Pappas]

Keep going. Do another hundo?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, let's just do another note because this is a good time. This is just a good time. So what? Yeah, dude, let's just bang these out. Here we go. Yeah.

[Zach Isis]

Oh.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, yeah, you started. Hans. Hans.

[Chris Distefano]

Here we go.

[Giannis Pappas]

213.

[Chris Distefano]

Yep. Then we got, by the way, patreon.com bear ridge boys, $5. All the archive content will be there. You make a choice. Whatever you got to do, baby. Okay, so then we got. Got Hans. Let's slingshot the Jews to the moon. Gruber. Okay. Then we got Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Gave her life for Biden's win in his child sniffing sins. Brett. Nice. Dylan Haysom. Heil Chrisler. Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

No. No.

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're saying yes. I'm saying no.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Isis]

No.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Then we got Sacramento.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a good one though.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Sacramento. Sean King's newest member. Khan. Kyle White. Leonard.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay, try.

[Chris Distefano]

Got it. Oh, like Kawhi Leonard. Kawaii Leonard. Leonard. Then we got Jason McHugh. Nyo neck. Then we got Leoma Beer. Stamp my piece with a visa to Greece. I want to land next to Venate Lazarov. Then we got Saint too Fir is a chicken. Pretty funny. Then we got Jenny, AKA Midwestern mommy who paints her front door key pink and her back door key brown. It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Love it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. Then we got Fumar Von Braun. Then we got Tatiana.

[Giannis Pappas]

I just want to take a second to just. For all the fumars. There's been so many. This guy took from mar. And he classed it up.

[Chris Distefano]

He classed it up.

[Giannis Pappas]

Fumar Von Braun. Yeah. He went a different direction with it.

[Chris Distefano]

I like it. You didn't see coming.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Tatiana. Chrissy D is a real treat, but I just can't get over those feet. It's what it is, Zepita. Then we got Mitchell with the German schnitzel. Definitely loves the Jews. Brandon Burke. Then we got Jace Huvan. Robert Smith. Rolando Segovia. Then we got Dominican toot with a 10 inch uncut skin flute. Then we got Brett. Chrissy. Stiffy makes me loopy. Oops, I came. Cumberbatch. Alex Johnson. Corey the Great White. Not like the fat, fat, fat, fishy wishy, but like Sean King's parents. Reese, Yanni Clande's Carlos Castillo. Then we got Father Bill wearing my foreskin like a pinky ring. Javier Ibada. Then we got I want to win the Powerball so I can buy the Tim Dillon episode. Then we got Geek Dalton Gingle. Then we got for me Squeaks. Then we got Rat Snatch Fever Underscore versus Bearded cum Dragon. Then we got Father Bill, the guardian angel who is bombarding my A hole. Then we got Caitlyn Fumeless. Filipina. Jeff. That's funny. Then we got Jeff Boland. We got Wes Craven. Morehead from Yanni P. Then we got Logi. Long dick but short without the warts. Then we got Fumari Povich.

[Giannis Pappas]

I thought I was done laughing at those but it's the gift that keeps on giving.

[Chris Distefano]

It's pretty great. Then we got make no mistake, Misty use has no fumes. Then we got Snow Mike and the Seven Warts.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean. I mean, that's funny.

[Chris Distefano]

That's funny.

[Giannis Pappas]

Snow Mike and the Seven Warts.

[Chris Distefano]

I like it. Then we got Ethan Carnes, Leon Potts, Alex. My dad is not David Koresh. Davidian. Then we got EB Father Bill. Bounce baby batter off the back of Chrissy's Big Baby. You've. Then we got. This is the story of a girl who fumed a river and drenched the whole world. Very funny, very funny. Eric Ola. Then we got full Marnal Trump 2020. The election was rigged. Chris Castelli. Jay. Then we got Toby Draper. Joe Southern Giannis's ab shirt on my Facebook adverts. Makes me want to convert and wear a skirt. Hey, Bert. Then we got Big Labia and Franks and Beans. Mad Dog's mom. Then we got Harold and Femar Leave White Castle. Andrew Gifford, Stephanie Gina Starchild. Nicolo Calabria. Then we got Chrissy. D is Ass Tastic. Then we got Gay guy acting straight just to get a sandwich at Chickafila.

[Giannis Pappas]

That is a banger.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Gay guy acted straight just to get a sandwich at Chick Fil A. Chick Fil A. I mean, that's a banger.

[Chris Distefano]

A Chick Fil A.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's an all time. This is the last list, but I'm putting you on the all time list.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Gay guy acting straight just to get a sandwich of Chick Fil A. Yeah. Then we got Lewis Pimentel, Jamie Bass. Then we got. Just on some blow because I can't say no. Then we got Justin Cameron. Then we got Jake. I love Venetia more than Gandhi loves Pre Teen night at the roller skate arena. Goats.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, give. Put them on the list. Jesus Christ.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Then we got. Make no mistake, I got excited when I saw Vanity on the pod. Now I got a dirty job to clean up Cudzo.

[Giannis Pappas]

Put him on the list. I mean, that's specific to that episode as well. You get it?

[Chris Distefano]

Yep.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now I got a dirty job. I mean, you guys are so good.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Big Water going to come see you in a different way. Muscles Marinara. Then we got Wasaiah Thomas and Joe Fumars.

[Giannis Pappas]

They just. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Bronson Kitchens. Then we go. I may look Caucasian, but make no mistake, my name is Jose. The white beaner with the uncut wiener. Carlos 91. Then we got Yanni, Poppy, Tongues, my sloppy jalopy, aka I'm cute, Toot Poop Shoot. Then we got Brit Is what it Is. Mason, Marion Reed Murray. Then we got Dan, and make no mistake, Chrissy Drillexia and the Gyro sky are on the case. A little bit like Scooby Doo, but it's Chris deleted.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's trying.

[Chris Distefano]

I get it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Too much. Too much.

[Chris Distefano]

I get it. Then we got Nick Ingram, Alex Petralia, Victor Hernandez, Jason Zuck, Trent Demerit, Thomas Wilson, Jimmy Non Toot Hot Glutes. So, so Cute. Raphael, Angel. Then we got Aaron, avgp, Team Namin, My Dre's Colonoscopies, Dream Hernandez. It's too long. Then we got Connor Lutz, Ethan. Ethan Evans. Then we got. Had a thing for Latinas until Chrissy D. Talked me out of it, but still kind of do. And then Ernest. Ernest Fuming way. Should I just bang out these last hundred? Should we just go for it?

[Giannis Pappas]

Let's do it.

[Chris Distefano]

Let's just go for. Keep listening. Last hundred. Just stay with us, babe.

[Giannis Pappas]

We gotta stay with them because some of these are legendary, legendary funny things.

[Chris Distefano]

No more. Just gonna keep doing the show. So we got John. Then we got $3, Billy Joel, bottle of Fred, bottle of White. Then we got Surprise.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, there you go, Chicken Fingers. His name is Surprise in caps.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Jeremy La Chance. Then we got. If the impeachment doesn't go to plan, I'm gonna drop the third nuke on Nintendo Land.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yikes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's what you miss. That's when the humor comes in. And you just gotta put it on the list with. You got to put it in a list with Mulani.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you gotta put it on a list. It's up there. Then we got Chrissy Comarts.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, Reese.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Jay. I'm a Leroy, so I hold my glue gun sideways. Not me. That's hilarious.

[Giannis Pappas]

Look at.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow. I mean, look at Zach Isis. Is that Jan the Squeak?

[Giannis Pappas]

Zack Isis and Jan the Squeak.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, cut. I mean, the camera's all the. All the way up, yo.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, the two greatest rappers in the tri state area. Zach Isis, Janice Squeak.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow.

[Giannis Pappas]

Scary Kids, Right? The group is called Scary Kids.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, Jan. Wait, hold on. Jan the Squeak has turned into a lesbian Jewish woman. And Zach Isis has turned into a full member of Volcano.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, look at his beard. I know, cuz. Look at Zach Isis. And I got to admit, looking at Jaden Squeak, it looks like he's wearing the Scream mask.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I am.

[Zach Isis]

Yo, Listen.

[Jan the Squeak]

Yeah, thanks for having us on.

[Chris Distefano]

Bubala. Yeah, baby. How you guys doing, man? How's everything going?

[Zach Isis]

We chilling, making music, getting wild.

[Jan the Squeak]

Listen, bro, I just got my unemployment. I'm gonna buy $500 worth of GameStop. You know what it is, bro.

[Zach Isis]

Go buy what it is. We need dogecoin to hit a dollar. Go buy dogecoin.

[Chris Distefano]

Gold's going to hit a fucking dollar, cuz.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now, let me tell you something. You guys are like music soulmates, right? Scary kids. They opened up our show. Zach Isis, our first producer for the first year. The great Zach Isis.

[Chris Distefano]

Great Zach Isis.

[Zach Isis]

Best era of the show.

[Giannis Pappas]

Best era of the show.

[Chris Distefano]

Best era of the show.

[Giannis Pappas]

The tattoo fingers, Scrabble fingers. I mean, back when that guy's just.

[Chris Distefano]

The first member of our staff in a long line of firings, he was firing number one.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's also the. The father of the soundboard. Back when we did the soundboard. Now, Jan, I know you moved to Florida. Now you're back in New York City because you guys needed to make some more music together.

[Jan the Squeak]

Oh, I didn't move to Florida.

[Zach Isis]

When did he move to Florida?

[Giannis Pappas]

I follow his grandma. I have. Pay attention.

[Jan the Squeak]

I went to go see my mama. My mama lives in old people land. She moved to Sarasota.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, okay, okay. So you just went down to visit her and then you came back to Queensland?

[Jan the Squeak]

Yo, I had to. And I went down to visit my dad in Texas, too. I went to fucking Dallas. I seen you in Dallas.

[Chris Distefano]

And by the way, Zach Isis one of the first people we knew to ever get Covid. He's a OG with COVID Zach Early.

[Zach Isis]

I had it not long ago. My tongue felt weird and so did my ears. It was a weird experience.

[Chris Distefano]

Wait a second. You caught Covid twice? Didn't you have it back in March?

[Zach Isis]

I did, and then I caught it again, like, two, three weeks ago. So I had it and my girl had it, and I was with her, and I felt sick the whole time. So I was like, oh, I definitely had it. Then some of my family caught it. I went to get tested, it came back negative. And two days later I had it. I couldn't taste anything. I couldn't smell. It was the weirdest experience of my life.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, but. But you had definitely had it. You got. It's weird. So you caught it twice?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, a lot of people could catch it twice.

[Chris Distefano]

I think so.

[Zach Isis]

Yeah, I think so.

[Giannis Pappas]

What were your symptoms, dog? Was it weird?

[Zach Isis]

Yeah. I mean, no taste. My ears felt weird. Nose. I couldn't smell anything. Like, anything man, no fumes. I couldn't smell the fumes.

[Chris Distefano]

Is it back? Are you back regular now, though? You're all good now.

[Giannis Pappas]

Can you smell the. Can you smell all the Arabic spices?

[Zach Isis]

Of course, of course. All the hookah smoke? We back making music. See the dropout during the second. Scary kids. You know what it is?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Let me ask you a question now. Did Covid. Did Covid knock out the bars or were you able to still drop bars?

[Zach Isis]

Y'all never gonna knock out the bars.

[Chris Distefano]

You already know, bro. Listen, we gotta. We got a pretty big audience, you know, since the last time we spoke. Why don't you want to drop some heat right now on the show?

[Giannis Pappas]

You want to drop some heat?

[Jan the Squeak]

Let's go, Zach.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, put. Put Jan the Squeak on your shoulders and let's go, bro. I'll grab Debo. We'll play water polo. I'm gonna.

[Chris Distefano]

Yo, Jan the Squeak needs to change his rap name to Dr. Fauci.

[Jan the Squeak]

Young Fauci, Lil Fauci in the cut.

[Chris Distefano]

Let's do it, Bob.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yo, drop some bars, cuz I fuck up the mic.

[Zach Isis]

So when you go set up the device, Just make sure none of the chords the corruptible type. I'm stuck in this life of strike and nothing is fair I'll put you in a vacuum sealed bag and fuck up the air.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's all right, dude. No, look, man, I've been a rap fan since I'm a kid. Those is what you call bars right there. That's what you call bars. The kid is nice. That's why we had to fire. You could have a fucking. We couldn't hold you back, dog. My fart stinks. Word to life.

[Chris Distefano]

More, boss.

[Zach Isis]

I said I sent Johnny a song, by the way. I got a battle rap tomorrow, by the way, okay?

[Giannis Pappas]

Because I can't vote for you anymore. Battle raps. I think they kicked me off the board.

[Zach Isis]

Not that I won that shit. I won that shit and bought some cereal with that money.

[Chris Distefano]

So.

[Zach Isis]

Thank you for voting yes, bro.

[Chris Distefano]

I know you sent it. I know you sent to me two years ago your demo tape to send to Sway from Sway in the Morning. I'm gonna send that shit tonight. I'm gonna send this shit tonight. I forgot, bro. I've been sending shit tonight. Now.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yo, I want the fans to go check out that song you guys made. First of all, you guys great rappers. Jan is a great singer also. Great sense of humor. We love you guys. What was that song you guys performed at our live show where they could find it? Where can People find that song.

[Zach Isis]

It was Raise the Bar. My song featuring him. Go Z the Dropout anywhere. Spotify, Google, Apple Music, Apple Music, Unemployment office, pretty much anywhere.

[Jan the Squeak]

Yeah.

[Zach Isis]

Dr. Fauci's crib, Dr. Phil spinning rhymes. I'll be still in front of the Comedy Cellar, waiting for my last chance. I mean, I'll be waiting for Liz to come out to battle, so you can see me pretty much anywhere.

[Chris Distefano]

What it is?

[Zach Isis]

Dropout. Jan the Second.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, Jan the Second. Z the Dropout. Go follow them on Instagram, their group of scary kids. Zach, we love you, brother. You got us started. You were the best, man. You're a great kid and a great rapper. Good luck to both.

[Zach Isis]

Gotta tell you my favorite history hyenas moment.

[Giannis Pappas]

Then do it.

[Chris Distefano]

Kill it.

[Zach Isis]

All right. Damn. I had it earlier.

[Chris Distefano]

What was it? Oh, you smoking too many blunts, son?

[Giannis Pappas]

No, but that's part of it, cuz. When you live in that life, son. When you live in that life, you smoke.

[Zach Isis]

I don't got time for info.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's only you heard. You hurt. You hurt.

[Zach Isis]

Nah. But I like when. When Giannis first, like, started saying stuff and realizing he wasn't supposed to, like, the look on his face after, he'd be like, damn. And then he looked at me and I knew that somehow that was basically.

[Giannis Pappas]

Our whole podcast saying things we shouldn't have said.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yep, yep. The invention of the cackles. Yeah. And the way Sean Sheehan button. You were there for the Weishon Sheehan button in its original form. You were the one that hit it, Zach.

[Giannis Pappas]

Hey, I'll tell you what a classic. Let me tell you about a classic Zach moment with us was when you did the Coffee Leroy and that turned into a clip. And the way he kept hitting the Wei Zhong Jing. Yeah, I was laughing.

[Chris Distefano]

That was funny. Yeah, that was funny when I said a Ridgewood coffee. Or we call it a Coffee Leroy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's in Ridgewood. They call black coffee just Coffee Leroy. Yeah, his uncle.

[Chris Distefano]

Uncle Jimmy.

[Zach Isis]

I got into an argument with Mike once when Schultz was there. I remember, too.

[Giannis Pappas]

That was funny. Yeah, that was. That was a little behind the scenes moment where you and you and you and Mike Suarez had a little thing. But you know that. That happens for the most part. Everything was smooth. And, you know, you just. You're too good a rapper, man. I mean, those were bars you just dropped. And so. You guys are awesome, man. We just want our fans to go check you out. So go. Go check out Z the Dropout. Jan. Jan, what is it? Jan the Man.

[Jan the Squeak]

Is Jan the Second or Second?

[Chris Distefano]

Jan was a man. That's your Instagram. Used to be a man.

[Giannis Pappas]

And Jan, you got a little video where you roll around in a car with somebody singing. What's. What's that?

[Zach Isis]

Oh, that's ac.

[Jan the Squeak]

It's called. It's called Lone Star. It's a song I got with my boy, A.C. lincoln. He's actually Emily King's older brother, if you know who Emily King is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, I know Emily King. I'm just lying. But let's just go with it.

[Jan the Squeak]

Yeah, let's go with that. But, yeah, he's. He's. He's a dope cat. That's a dope video. Check that out. Second to Jan on Instagram. You can find me as Jan the Second everywhere else.

[Giannis Pappas]

Love you guys, man.

[Chris Distefano]

All right, brother.

[Zach Isis]

I'll be dropping bars. That's it, Yanni. Long days. Hey, babe, go watch those.

[Chris Distefano]

Thank you, baby. Love you, Babs.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, Zach, ISIS is the greatest number fucking one. Zach isis. Can I go? Can I be so bold to say Jan is the original Squeeze Squeak? Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

We kind of started thinking about. I mean, the original Squeaks. The original Squeak. But then there was Jeff. I mean, the original Squeak. He could be coming back any day.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And you know what got back to me? I won't. We really can't say. But it did get back to me.

[Giannis Pappas]

You want to just wait till after we get off air?

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, we can say that because we're not gonna say. But it did get back to me that this, the original Squeak, has heard it a lot, and it's just what it is. Because. Make. No here. Because here's the thing. Thing. Because here's the thing. When you're having fun.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Here's. Here's the thing. Where people, human beings, just want to ruin a good thing a lot. Because the truth is, is he. We're having a good time. And. And I know it's the same reason why when I got in trouble for my family because of something I said about one of my cousins, people will then find out the people you're talking about and then make them listen to it under the guise of, look at how funny this is. But they really want to start trouble and drop Obama. It's like, there's been things that I've heard about people, friends of mine on podcast, you know, our comedian friends, that I would never go and tell them because, like, if they hear it, they hear it. But it's like when people do that, and then like, oh, you're Such a good friend. No, you're not, you scumbag. You did that to cause a problem because you hate your life. Yeah, but this original squeak. I'm sorry.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, but you know what? Everything we've said in this podcast is a coward character piece. Reality is a suggestion. So even anything that was said, it's not true. It's all jokes. Nothing's real.

[Chris Distefano]

Nothing's real.

[Giannis Pappas]

This isn't real. This is a simulation, okay? There's aliens right now preparing the Capitol Police and preparing certain members of Secret Service to arrest all the Democrats tonight. Yeah, it's going down.

[Chris Distefano]

That's why we have to end up.

[Giannis Pappas]

Nancy Pelosi's going to jail.

[Chris Distefano]

You go to jail. That's why you've done the podcast. We have to get out of here.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, president. President Trump will be president again.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I cannot wait. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Let's finish off these names. We got the. And these are, you know, rounding out for the very last time, the final time, reading names on the. On the Australians podcast. Where do we. Chrissy Come farts. Where do we stop?

[Giannis Pappas]

Start with John. 305. 304.

[Chris Distefano]

But we read these already.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Chrissy Comforts Reese. Then we got JM Leroy. So hold my glue gun sideways.

[Giannis Pappas]

Funny. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Matthew Vidula. Then we got D. Henry ii Amanda Jack Martin. Guy Fumary.

[Giannis Pappas]

We had that one.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. Then we got the only scientist dumb enough to pay for this.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, 10.

[Chris Distefano]

10. Which is actually not true, though. It's a 10, but it's not true. We actually have a lot of scientists that pay for the.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Mikey Potato Breath. Straight to the back, but I'll hit a few pubs on my way. Then we got Andre Cardozo. Then we got Fresh Pawn Load. Fresh Pond Load is funny because there's a street in Ridgewood called Fresh Pond Road.

[Giannis Pappas]

Aha.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

So that kid's from Ridgewood. Definitely.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got the situation Sheen. I mean, that might be. I mean, I. I mean, that Situation Sheen is the.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's.

[Chris Distefano]

I know it's personal to me, but it might be. I mean, the way that they were able to combine both situation. Because it is a way Sean Chian, and it is the situation. It. It's. It's just actually making me speechless.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's speechless how good it is. It's a hall of Famer right there. You're a contestant contender for all time on the last episode. You could be number one.

[Chris Distefano]

You could be number one. But, but, but. Mulanyani's still in the lead. Yeah, it's a tough one to be. Read it again. The situation, Sheen, it's just. It's. Wow.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Chad M. Then we got My dad went to Pound Town and all I got was the lousy prolapse anus. Curtis Wheatley, Perry, Dean Fitz. Then we got Damien Rackley. Then we got Evie Pena Bork Laser. Then we got Chris Zolina. Then we got AOC is a 2020 was the gap year Trump 2024. Okay. Then we got farm fresh grade A chicken femur. Then we got. Make no mistake, I'm a mixed kid, so I could either fly into Pearl harbor or microwave a city.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got cbk, but I'm not gay like Chrissy Chaos. But make no mistake, if I see an open lap, I'm popping in squat Chris Keister. Then we got your nan's. Your nan's.

[Giannis Pappas]

Your nan's wog toy.

[Chris Distefano]

Your nan's walk toy.

[Giannis Pappas]

What's probably a kid from England and that's your nan is your grandmom. And the wog toy is probably something that you flick your with.

[Chris Distefano]

Got it. Got it. Then we got.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm just doing. Using a little deductive reason there.

[Chris Distefano]

There we go. Then we got Jordy, the 5 towns 2 texter. So make no mistake, I have 5 cash offers on my childhood home from Jews.

[Giannis Pappas]

Originality Jordy, the 5 towns tooth texture. And then usually those long ones aren't great, but he followed it up.

[Chris Distefano]

I like it. Then we got Tim Dillon's chew toy.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's his chicken finger.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got AOC's politics are not the best, but I'm too busy staring at her chest. I'm so hyped. She does have bombs.

[Giannis Pappas]

Nice natties.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got James Cody. Then we got Tim Dillon. Wrecked my Airbnb but offered to tickle my pee pee Sora. Then we got Gianbi 4. Then we got hey, babe. There goes Yanni's paycheck.

[Giannis Pappas]

Hall of fame hall of famer. That's also hall of fame.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Then we got Pinch the Canadian sauce Bucky serving hot poutine gravy and Yanni's man Pudani. Then we got Alfie, Chrissy D's future vasectomy for Mario Andretti. Then we got Chris doll, Anna Banana. Then we got Danny Dominguez. Then we got your liberal because you're poor, David Shorey, Cameron B. Straight to the back to jerk my pseudo pee and sniff the seat of.

[Giannis Pappas]

AOC at Rhyme so it's good.

[Chris Distefano]

I like it. Then we got the Dooflin. Means whatever you want it to mean. Then we got Zacky. I'm gonna name my son Restaurant, but make no mistake, I ain't raising no zag at Ballard.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, it's a goodie.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a goodie. Grayson Hendrix. Then we got Yanni. Long Days Offend Me with the mayonnaise from Are you Garbage.

[Mike Suarez]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

Correct. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Tyler Nickel. And we got Just Hoping Chrissy D Can get on Joe Rogan to so he Feels Whole. Then we got.

[Giannis Pappas]

He called it. He's Joe Rohan.

[Chris Distefano]

Joe Rogans.

[Giannis Pappas]

You misspelled it. You.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Reese Orman. Then we got Full Martin Scorsese, Director of the Departed.

[Giannis Pappas]

That is a good one. I saw it before. That's why I reacted early, because that's a good one. The record is Departed. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Master Dong 69420. Then we got the Greek Cyclops. That don't go peeling to post opinion. Then we got Alex Richter. Then we got I'm Frank Son Beans. Then we got Vegan Cuck for a Threegan Buck. Marky T with a Pierce piece for Chrissy Bitch Hips D with Yanni the Cuck P giving his monkey a squeeze, screaming away. Sean Chia, Michael Tolber. Then we got Mikey Four Eyes. But now I wear contacts because make no mistake, Hitler wore glasses because otherwise he could not see.

[Giannis Pappas]

Pretty good. Pretty good. But it's just a word pun at the end that we cannot support.

[Chris Distefano]

Can't support support. Then we got Roses are Bad, Roses are Red, Violets Are Blue. Tim Dillon has the two Airbnb lesbians tied up in his basement. It's what it is. Trump 2020. Then we got Henry Janosik, Manuel Bobadilla. Then we got Three Dollar Cuck Buck. Then we got Cannoli Skin Flute, Tate Emery. Then we got last names Kaka Najad, AKA Irani Jihadi, causing more tremors than Yannis Clonies.

[Giannis Pappas]

Pretty good. Pretty good.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Giannis Huff's Papas Till he speaks fluent Greek, Call him by his toot name, Fruit of the Fumes. Then we got Eugenio. Two in the binky, one in the Stinky. Father Billy Bless My Winky, Yas Brichio. Then we got Matt, Jeff Essex, Brett Devore. Mikey Eat that ass like a zucchini slice. Then we got Worm Ball. We got Paula Abdullah, Amblagada Manahani iii. We got Isaac Habib, the Iraqi Jew. Chrissy, quit looking at me with those Predominantly Nazi eyes. I'll have to bomb you, Perez. Then we got Clive, not Olive. Put that khaki in my backy. Make it clappy. Put it in my mouth. Make me yaki. Put it in Chrissy. Make me Daddy. Hashtag China forever. Then we got Al.

[Giannis Pappas]

Would have just been good if it was just hashtag China forever.

[Chris Distefano]

I like that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

We got Chrissy cream pie left to chill on the windowsill for Father Bill. Then we got America Robinson, Charles Baran Way Sean Qanon. We got Chrissy D, AKA the Manicotti Hottie is a teenage girl trapped inside a fat comics body. Jonathan Meals. Then we got Massapequa. Park it up my poop Shoot. Justin Goldner, Nathan Cruz, History Hyena Namina. Then we got Vladimir Putin putting his disc piece inside a cream cheese. Alex Rasinger, Josh Royalson, Chis Nuch. Then we got My Girlfriend Only Buys Cafe Busto. I think I've got a situation. Then we got Father Bill Fumuri. And last but not least, one question.

[Giannis Pappas]

Mark, one question marks. That's it.

[Chris Distefano]

So there you go. I mean, we had a couple of hall of Famers on that list and, you know, that's the final list.

[Giannis Pappas]

And we also just probably broke a record for the amount of Patreon names read in one episode.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, we had to legally do that to keep the Patreon.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, we just had to do that. So thank each and every one of you, man, for going to support us, really. And how long we been.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow. I mean, cuz. I mean, this was a fucking way to go out.

[Jan the Squeak]

Out.

[Chris Distefano]

This was a way to go out. I mean, look, baby, I mean, I don't think it. I don't think it's the end. I think maybe. Maybe we do another one. Maybe we do another one.

[Giannis Pappas]

We keep the people guessing time.

[Chris Distefano]

We keep the people. That's the thing. And that's the thing, I think with the reason why we started naming the history is we don't. We don't know what's gonna happen.

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow.

[Chris Distefano]

We don't know what's gonna happen.

[Giannis Pappas]

Nobody knows what's gonna happen.

[Chris Distefano]

No. So any. Any. All the positive stuff, we appreciate all the negative stuff, just know it falls on deaf ears with us because we. No matter what you think the reason is or no matter what you want to think, we're the wildest kids, you know, and we'll do what we want always. And I think that's what you guys have always appreciated, and that's what we've always appreciated about you is we just live in a reality as a suggestion world.

[Giannis Pappas]

We live in the moment like a dog. So, yes, I mean, we're just in the moment. The next moment is the next moment. It's a whole, a whole new world, a whole new day. Anything can happen. Most importantly, enjoy this whole catalog. I mean, we've done so many episodes and there's so many on patreon.com Bay Ridge Boys for you to go back and watch. We'll probably. We could end up becoming a cult classic like Rocky Horror Show.

[Chris Distefano]

Hopefully we do. I mean, look, that, that show Freaks and Geeks, that shows a cult classic. It only lasted one season and people just go back and binge. So you don't know the biggest thing we could have, people, so many people are calling us stupid because of ending the show. The biggest thing we could have potentially done for our careers is ending the show. It's literally. Nobody was famous from Freaks and Geeks. All those guys were not famous when Freaks and Geeks ended.

[Giannis Pappas]

Dude, we are the talk of the town. And I spoke to Schultz and he goes, you know, you guys gotta get, you got, you guys got to get to get back together in like a couple years. He's like, this is huge. I mean, the kid just thinks market.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's like, you're the talk of the town. Just get back to get a couple years. Just double your Patreon. You know, it's just like, yeah, you know, screwed in. Look, you never know what's gonna happen. We got, we got other podcasts. I think you're starting one called Chrissy Chaos.

[Chris Distefano]

I got one. Yes. I got one. Chrissy Chaos that we're starting. It's called Chris's Stephano presents Chrissy Chaos. And we will be having a Patreon up there, probably patreon.com Christy Comedy. So we'll be doing a bunch of fun on, on that too. Just like this. Just like. And, and Yanni's got his thing.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, go to. It's Yanni Long Days. Go. Go to that on YouTube. It's on, I think all the audio podcast audio apps except for itunes because they're Chinese spies or whatever it is. And just check it out, man. Yanni Long Days and check it out. And check out Keep Telling Friends about History Hyenas.

[Chris Distefano]

We could be.

[Giannis Pappas]

We could be back next episode.

[Chris Distefano]

We could be back next episode and.

[Giannis Pappas]

Patreon.Com patreon.com Yanni Long days.

[Chris Distefano]

Session long days. And make no mistake. Make no mistake. And this is going to be a big one on both of our Patreon tiers. We're going to interview each other. We're going to tell you guys the.

[Giannis Pappas]

Truth for $1 million.

[Chris Distefano]

The same Tim Dillon episode. We're going to record it and we're going to put it on our Million Dollar tears.

[Giannis Pappas]

You, Faji, you guys are the best fans. We love being the best ride. Three years. Listen, listen. We ended it on our terms. We could be back. We could be not. Most important. Enjoy your life. Enjoy your friends and family. Enjoy your health. Enjoy being wild.

[Chris Distefano]

And what other way to go out than this? Yeah. Yeah, Stanky.