Imperial Japan’s torture facility: Unit 731 was horrifying | History Hyenas

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Imperial Japan’s Torture Facility: Unit 731 was Horrifying | History Hyenas"

History Hyenas is a dynamic podcast hosted by comedians Yannis Pappas and Chris DiStefano, who blend history with humor to deliver engaging and informative episodes. In the episode titled "Imperial Japan’s Torture Facility: Unit 731 was Horrifying", released on July 3, 2025, the hosts delve into the dark history of Unit 731, an Imperial Japanese Army unit responsible for horrific war crimes during World War II.

---

1. Introduction to Unit 731

[00:00] Chris DiStefano:
"We have got an excellent episode we're going to be talking to you about. Japanese Imperial Unit 731 from the World War II days. It is horrifying what we're about to tell you."

The episode begins with Chris DiStefano setting a serious tone, emphasizing the brutality of Unit 731, which he suggests may have been worse than the Nazis. He introduces General Shiro Ishii, labeling him as the Japanese equivalent of Adolf Hitler, and warns listeners of the disturbing content to follow.

2. Background on Imperial Japan and Unit 731

[02:10] Yannis Pappas:
"Today we are going to tell you all about the Japanese Hitler and... Unit 731 that you've probably never heard of."

Yannis Pappas provides context for Unit 731, explaining its establishment in 1935 in Manchuria (then a puppet state of Japan). The unit was officially known as the Epidemic Prevention and Water Purification Department of the Kwantung Army, but it secretly conducted biological warfare research. The hosts highlight Japan’s rapid industrialization and growing nationalism in the early 20th century, which fueled their aggressive expansionist policies towards neighboring countries.

3. General Shiro Ishii and the Atrocities Committed

[04:58] Chris DiStefano:
"General Shiro Ishii was like Hitler. If he had the knowledge of microbiology and used chopsticks to eat food."

Chris introduces General Shiro Ishii, the mastermind behind Unit 731. Ishii was a military physician and microbiologist who led the unit’s gruesome experiments. The hosts describe the various inhumane practices conducted by Unit 731, including:

• Biological Warfare Tests:
  [15:43] DiStefano:
  "They would drop ceramic or porcelain bombs filled with fleas infected with Yersinia pestis... triggering plague outbreaks."
  [16:00] Pappas:
  "They were contaminating wells, food, and clothing with cholera, anthrax, dysentery, and typhoid."

• Vivisections and Torture:
  [27:35] DiStefano:
  "Vivisection is a live dissection... removing organs while the patient is fully awake without anesthesia."
  [28:41] Pappas:
  "They would also rape women and intentionally infect them with syphilis and other venereal diseases."

• Human Experimentation on Children:
  [28:19] DiStefano:
  "They would perform vivisections on children to study the effects of diseases and torture."
  [29:10] Pappas:
  "A 10-year-old girl was subjected to freezing and scalding to study frostbite and its reversal."

These atrocities were conducted with a chilling disregard for human life, viewing victims primarily as mere subjects for experimentation.

4. Comparison with Nazi War Crimes

[07:51] Pappas:
"That's what it is. The Japanese Nazis of the East."

[07:52] DiStefano:
"The difference between Unit 731 and the Nazis was the scale. The Nazis had more resources and killed more people, but the intentions were the same."

The hosts draw parallels between Unit 731 and Nazi war crimes, noting that while the Nazis conducted mass exterminations on a larger scale, the Japanese unit’s intentions mirrored those of their German counterparts. Both regimes sought to assert racial and national superiority through systematic atrocities.

5. The United States' Response and Cover-Up

[36:24] Pappas:
"The United States granted immunity to Unit 731 members in exchange for their research data."
[38:12] DiStefano:
"General Shiro Ishii was given diplomatic immunity because the US wanted his biological warfare data."

A significant portion of the episode discusses the controversial decision by the United States to grant immunity to General Shiro Ishii and approximately 700 other Unit 731 members. In exchange for their expertise and research findings on biological warfare, the US chose not to prosecute them for war crimes. This clandestine deal was motivated by the desire to gain valuable intelligence and prevent the Soviets from acquiring the same knowledge.

[38:30] Pappas:
"General Charles E. Lux supported the use of Unit 731 data for US purposes. They thought it was invaluable research."

The hosts critique this historical cover-up, arguing that moral compromises were made during the post-war period to bolster American military capabilities.

6. Impact and Modern Perspectives

[41:22] Pappas:
"Ishii lived comfortably under US protection and never faced trial. He died of throat cancer in the 1960s."
[42:02] DiStefano:
"Unit 731 was completely omitted from the Tokyo War Crimes Tribunal, unlike the Nazis who were tried at Nuremberg."

The elimination of Unit 731 from mainstream historical narratives is highlighted, primarily due to the destruction of records by the Japanese as the war ended and the subsequent immunity granted by the US. This omission has contributed to a lack of widespread awareness about these atrocities compared to Nazi war crimes.

7. Conclusion and Reflections

[43:14] Pappas:
"Dictatorships are always bad. No good dictator exists."
[43:28] DiStefano:
"The brains we have today were the same as those who conducted these atrocities. It's terrifying."

In wrapping up, the hosts reflect on the enduring impact of such atrocities and the moral complexities of historical events. They emphasize the importance of acknowledging all sides' wrongdoings to understand history fully and prevent future atrocities.

8. Transition to Comedic Segments

Following the serious discussion on Unit 731, the hosts transition into their signature comedic segments, including a humorous "list making" segment where they create and vote on funny entries. While these sections diverge from the historical focus, they showcase the hosts' ability to balance heavy topics with levity.

[56:43] Pappas:
"Why are the Vatican school meals always cream-based?"
[57:00] DiStefano:
"I love fixing up trannies. I ain't no mechanic."

These segments, while entertaining, serve as interludes that contrast the gravity of the historical discussion, maintaining the podcast’s unique blend of education and humor.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Chris DiStefano [00:00]:
  "Japanese Imperial Unit 731 from the World War II days. It is horrifying what we're about to tell you."

• Yannis Pappas [03:35]:
  "The Japanese viewed themselves as the superior screen masks... combining with their samurai culture and pride."

• Chris DiStefano [07:51]:
  "The Nazis were more like a Walmart, and the Japanese were more of a mom and pop shop of mass extermination."

• Yannis Pappas [36:24]:
  "The United States granted immunity to Unit 731 members in exchange for their research data."

• Yannis Pappas [43:14]:
  "Dictatorships are always bad. No good dictator exists."

---

Final Thoughts

In this episode, History Hyenas sheds light on the lesser-known but equally horrifying atrocities committed by Imperial Japan’s Unit 731 during World War II. Through a combination of detailed historical accounts and the hosts' comedic flair, the episode offers listeners both education and entertainment. By including direct quotes with timestamps, the summary captures the essence of the hosts' discussions, making the complex and grim subject matter accessible to a broader audience.

For listeners seeking to understand the full scope of Unit 731’s impact and the ethical dilemmas surrounding wartime decisions, this episode serves as a poignant reminder of the depths of human cruelty and the importance of historical accountability.

Resources Mentioned:

• Documentary: Unit 731 Documentary – A recommended one-hour documentary detailing the activities of Unit 731.
• Patreon: patreon.com/historyhyenas – Access unedited episodes, bonus content, and support the podcast.

Transcript

[Chris DiStefano]

Guys, we have got an excellent episode we're going to be talking to you about. Japanese Imperial Unit 731 from the World War II days. It is horrifying what we're about to tell you. These people maybe were worse than the Nazis. We're going to tell you about a general who was the Japanese equivalent of Adolf Hitler. And it's probably something you've never heard about. And it gets gross.

[Giannis Pappas]

And we're also going to tell you about why the Americans all look the other way. They turned the other cheek and they didn't let anyone know because they thought it was valuable information.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. And of course, patreon.com americaun/history Hyenas has this unedited episode a day or two early for you. And everything that we've cackled out you can [e-mail] history hyenas plus a bunch of other bonus episodes. And it is fun, fun, fun there.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes, you can watch it ad free and early. And our bonus episodes like Chris said. And you can catch me in Providence, Rhode Island, June 11th and 12th, Rosemont, Illinois, August 8th and 9th and Tampa, August 13th through the 16th.

[Chris DiStefano]

And you could catch me at the Brea Improv, July 18th and 9th in Brea, California. And then you can catch me in Mon. Montreal, July 26th, Winnipeg, July 25th and July 24th, Minneapolis, Minnesota. ChrisD comedy.com for Tikiwikis or History Hyenas is back.com for all history Hyenas. History Hyenas Related info Enjoy this episode. Buckle up. It gets nasty. Come on.

[Giannis Pappas]

What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. My number me nombre is Giannis Pappas, AKA Freddy Feta Cheese, otherwise known as Freddy. I'm sitting here with Chris DiStefano, aka Chrissy Helmethead, aka the Schnitzel Sniffer.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. And I, I appreciate that intro and I appreciate you calling me the schnitzel sniffer. Thank you, Mr. Fed. So I today we got a big one for you. Today we are going to tell you all about the Japanese Hitler and we're going to talk to you about a little thing called unit 731 that you've probably never heard of. And if I ever hear after this episode that it's only white people doing bad things again, I'm going to punch you right in your Japanese face. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Here is the situation, folks. Unit 731 is an under known, if that's a word, and lesser known Lesser known.

[Chris DiStefano]

And we're going to tell you why it's lesser known. Because the United States wanted it that way. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

They wanted it that way because they did some bad, bad, bad things. They did some boo boos. They did some. They did some things that when you find out.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

What they did, you're going to go, we should have dropped.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Here's the thing is, you're going to say, as this episode goes on, you're going to say, oh, this is just Asian people creating biological warfare and dropping on their citizens. What is this, another Tuesday? No, it's even worse because what they did, what the Japanese people did, what the Japanese people of the World War II era did to the Chinese people, to their own citizens, to even some United States and French citizens, and is gross.

[Giannis Pappas]

And they did it for 10 years.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. A lot longer than the Nazis.

[Giannis Pappas]

A lot longer than the Nazis. We like to call them the Nazis of the East.

[Chris DiStefano]

The Nazis of the East. And then we call them another word in the streets of the east that we can't say.

[Giannis Pappas]

We just got a little riled up. We just got a little patriotic. We just got a little justice oriented. We were walking in the streets. You know, when it's just Chrissy and Giannis walking. We talk colloquially.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's just what it is. And we were walking in a neighborhood also known as Bay Ridge, where when we said that word of the east, what happened is, is we just got free slices of pizza for saying it. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, I might have. I might or might not have referred to them as scream masks.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. Now, here's the thing. Here's the thing. I want you to listen to this episode, and I want you to listen good, sister. Because the truth of the matter is this, my friends, is that what the Japanese people, what history will show you is that kind of the winners will tell you about the atrocities that they want you to know about. But you got to dig a little deeper to find that there were atrocities happening all over the world, but very specifically in Japan. Okay. In the 1930s. It's really, really bad. And we want to talk to you about a little guy named General Shiro Ishii. The name, General Shiro Ishii, he is the Hitler of the East. He is the Adolf Hitler. He's Hitler if Hitler shit on the floor.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Needless to say, this episode, what you're going to find is there was a time period of 10 years in Japanese occupied Manchuria and the surrounding areas where the Japanese, the Imperial Japanese, were What you call a little bit off the.

[Chris DiStefano]

Beam off the Japanese. Here's the thing that you need to hear. Let's set the stage, shall we? So Japan is just in the 1930s, they're just a bit of an angry country because In World War I, they won. They were part of the good guys. They were part of the Allies. But the Allies didn't really split the profits with the Japanese. They kind of just looked at the Japanese. It's like, why don't you just go over there and get away from us? Because the world was racist back then. It's not anymore. The world was racist back then. Where kind of the white countries, European countries in the United States just divided amongst each other. And they left Japan out. So Japan said, we have this manifest destiny. We want this Japanese kingdom to be one. So they said, we're going to start killing everybody around us. The Chinese, the Vietnamese, the Indonesians. We're going to start killing everyone around us and we're going to start just taking over what we believe is rightfully ours. And it's just the little. The Japanese, what they are very, very, very, very, very big with back then and even still today is a little thing called nationalism and national pride. But they take it a little bit too far.

[Giannis Pappas]

They go, it's a little more than you order.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

When you say, we want you guys to love your country, they said, give us extra cheeseburger with that combo meal. It's a little more than you need. It's a little more than anyone ever wanted. They took a combination of sort of the racial hierarchy of the time. Seemed like everyone was doing that then. I think we're the superior people.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

The Japanese viewed themselves as the superior screen masks.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

They said, we're the best made. We're not made in China.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

We're a high quality screen mask, and we're better than all the other screen masks. And they combine that with the. Their samurai culture and prize started coming on and they said, we're gonna go and start taking over this whole sphere.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And we're not gonna do it nicely.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, they're not gonna do it nicely. And here's the unfortunate part is. See, here's the thing. Here's the thing is, you know what? What? The only real difference between what we're about to tell you about Unit 731 of the Japanese Imperial army in the 1930s and 1940s, the only real difference between them and. And the German Nazis was just the amount of people was to scale. Germany had access to more people and definitely did it at higher rates and killed more people. But make absolutely no mistake, the Japanese had the exact same intention. Were looking. The Japanese were looking at the Chinese the same way the Germans were looking at the Jews. The Japanese just did it at a smaller scale because they ran out of time. So if you want to look at it this way, is the Japanese or more of a mom and pop shop of mass extermination. And the Nazis were more like a Walmart.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's what it is.

[Chris DiStefano]

Just what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now set the stage right. Japan is an island. It's isolated. It's. It was led by a strong sense of cultural superiority. Especially towards like we said, non Japanese Asians.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And after the 19th century they began to rapidly industrialize and viewed themselves as the rightful leader of Asia.

[Chris DiStefano]

And. And Asia put an R on that.

[Giannis Pappas]

And culturally that, you know, you're acting like an Asia.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

They. They were racist towards the Chinese and the Koreans and everybody else. They just viewed themselves as top shelf Asians.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

And everybody else is jungle Asians.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's just what they looked at it. It's just what it was. And their general, General Shiro Ishii was actually a military physician. And the unfortunate thing is he was very skilled and he was very skilled in microbiology. He understood microbiology. He was actual. In actual microbiologists. That's what he went to school for. He went to school in the United States for it. He went to school in Japan for it. And then when he eventually becomes the leader of the Japanese army, it's not a good thing because this is like if, if this is like Hitler. General Shiro. Shiro. Shiro Ishii was like Hitler. If he had the knowledge of microbiology and use chopsticks to eat food.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. That's what it is.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Kids were taught at the time to worship the emperor like she was the queen bee. Like he was the queen bee.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right. The government, Imperial Japan. The government controlled the education.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

Critical thought was suppressed. We're talking about a full on military state and a full on dictatorship. Hundred grew out of World War I. And now Japan wants to prove it's equal to the western powers that have been exploiting that area for a long time. And we set the stage for some of the biggest atrocities you are about to hear right now. Yes.

[Chris DiStefano]

So first of all. Yeah. If we could just go up and.

[Giannis Pappas]

Of course the emperor was considered a divine being and he could fuck your wife. That's always comes along with just what it is. I got a. I got A direct line to God. And your wife needs to be fucked.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's just what is. Bang her out and if she's my 10. Just like Gandhi. Yeah, yeah. It's just what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

And scientists and soldiers, of course, saw themselves as divine tools on a divine mission. That's always part of the deal.

[Chris DiStefano]

So unit 731 in Japan, which was actually titled officially the Epidemic Prevention and Water Purification Department of the Quanting Army.

[Giannis Pappas]

It was Schmitan Water.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Officially Smitten Water Department. We doing nothing wrong here just to purify water.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, they want to purify the water. So this was established around 1935 by the Imperial Japanese army, or as my grandfather called we. And this is in Ping Farm, or.

[Giannis Pappas]

Is your grandfather called.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, so this. So this was in a.

[Giannis Pappas]

In.

[Chris DiStefano]

In a place called Manchuria, which was actually in Northeast China, but this is really a puppet state for Japan. So Japan had taken over this cut, taken over this part of China and just started moving their citizens in. But the thing was, they moved their Japanese citizens in and they treated Chinese like second class citizens. So the Japan had superiority and the Japanese were second class. And this was.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chinese were second.

[Chris DiStefano]

Chinese were second class.

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't blame you.

[Chris DiStefano]

Which is what it is. I still to this day don't know how they knew what the hell was going on, but they figured out a way.

[Giannis Pappas]

Schultz doesn't either.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's what it is, really.

[Giannis Pappas]

I really don't know the difference.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's tough to tell the difference. The only way you could tell the difference between Japanese and Chinese was after 1945, because.

[Giannis Pappas]

Some of them, Some of them were. Some of them. Some of them were cooked in a conventional oven. And so what it is, it's just how it goes.

[Chris DiStefano]

And it's. You know, obviously it's horrible. We're joking, we're joking around the podcast, but we are actually seriously very angry at the 1930s Japanese that I will not shy away from. If you want to look back at history and hate on everyone, then you also have to unfold, unfortunately. I know the Mandanis out there that think only white people did bad things. Unfortunately, you got to recognize that the Japanese did some pretty bad things too.

[Giannis Pappas]

I love when your group text bleeds into the episode. Yeah, I love that now we're just.

[Chris DiStefano]

Calling people that we think we're just. Now we've just created a term and we call people Mamdani's.

[Giannis Pappas]

Look at these mahdanis over here.

[Chris DiStefano]

Mom. Donnies.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, listen, I just want to say this before we go any further, the United States unequivocally was the good guy in World War I and World War II. Yes, I know that Qatar and all these other foreign interests pour millions of dollars into our education system for us to consider the other side of the story. But when you hear what we're about to tell you, right, you're gonna understand that we are the good guy. Even when it comes to war tribunals, the Hague, the Geneva Conventions and stuff like that, we were not doing what these other sides, our adversaries were doing.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

And obviously, the deal that was cut that we're going to tell you about, that these Japanese generals and employees of unit 731 cut with the Americans. They cut with the Americans because they knew that if they cut, if they had to face the justice of the Soviets. The Soviets just hang you.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

The United States say, give me your data. We'll look the other way.

[Chris DiStefano]

So that's what we're gonna get to. So. So remember. So we're in. We are in Manchuria. We are in a city called pingfong, which my grandfather called Ping Pong. Yeah, Ping Pong, Manchuria. Commander General Shiro Ishii Military PHYSICIAN Biological warfare so what he says, what he's basically saying to his Japanese contemporaries is, is we're gonna have to eventually fight another big war with Russia because there was a Russo. Russo Japanese war where actually the Japanese one.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So they are. But they are. Make no mistake, they are scared. The Japanese are scared of Russia. Even some people say the reason why the, you know, like, we dropped the nuclear bomb on Japan was not necessarily like Japan was going to surrender because the Russians were invading. They didn't care about the nuclear bomb from the United States. They were scared of the Russians invading their country. So that's why they were going to surrender, and that's why we dropped a nuclear bomb to show the Russia we mean business. So. But anyway, basically what he's saying is, to his Japanese contemporaries is we're gonna have to fight another war with Russia, and we're not going to be win it with soldiers and planes. How we're going to win it is biological warfare. So allow me, Emperor, I think it was, who was the emperor at the time. So Emperor, the Emperor of Japan. He. He. And by the way, he could show me multiple pictures of emperors of Japan throughout the last 200 years. And I say, that's the same guy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Same guy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Those guys live forever.

[Giannis Pappas]

And doesn't Japanese, the language just sound like you're lifting boxes and you Throw out your back.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. So what the Emperor of Japan says at that time is he said something.

[Giannis Pappas]

We just couldn't understand.

[Chris DiStefano]

Can't understand it. So he said, basically, I will give you the money. I will fund your projects, because if you think biological warfare is a way we can win, let's do it. And then things just start to get real nasty. And this unit called unit 731 is the unit of their Japanese Imperial army that is responsible for carrying out these biological weapons. So what they would do is they deliberately infected their people with the plague. Like the actual black people.

[Giannis Pappas]

Not their people, but Chinese.

[Chris DiStefano]

We are two minutes late. So just keep going.

[Giannis Pappas]

Keep going.

[Chris DiStefano]

Go ahead.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, so just tell us. So it was all secret. It was completely a cover. Nobody knew what was going on. Yeah, it was called the Water Purification Department or something.

[Chris DiStefano]

It was called the Epidemic Prevention and Water Purification Department of the Kwuntang Army.

[Giannis Pappas]

But what they were doing was they were doing a bunch of boo boo research. They were figuring out how to effectively kill people with biological warfare. They were running experiments on people. And one of the things they would do is they would drop like, infected fleas on towns.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

And they did it. And the town, they dropped the plague. Bubonic plague.

[Chris DiStefano]

Actual bubonic. Bubonic void.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So you have to understand, like the bubonic plague, which is lost in history. In the 1300s, they actually infected their own citizens, mostly the Chinese.

[Giannis Pappas]

But they're citizens. The Chinese.

[Chris DiStefano]

But some. No, but some Japanese. So there is an instance where some Japanese soldiers, because they would infect these places and kind of like spray it over, like they're crop dusting. They would spray cholera and typhoid and bubonic plague all over these villages. But then the Japanese army would go in to inspect and then they would get sick. And rather than trying to save them, Ishii was such a psychopath and his scientists that they would just. They would just also observe the Japanese because they would say, let's see how it affects superior people too.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So they were. Look, so that's what you have to understand.

[Giannis Pappas]

They're basically saying, you can't make General Tso's chicken without making a little sushi.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

A couple of sushi rolls.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. They said, let's just throw a little seaweed around that.

[Giannis Pappas]

So the way they did it was they would drop ceramic or porcelain bombs filled with fleas inf with Yersinia pestis, which is the bacteria that causes bubonic plague. And these they were dropped from airplanes onto towns and villages. The containers shattered on impact, releasing fleas into the environment where they could bite humans and animals, triggering plague outbreaks. And they did this on numerous towns. And they contaminated wells, food and clothing with cholera, anthrax, dysentery, and typhoid. And the. On, on. And the items were distributed in enemy held areas or left behind during retreats, knowing civilians would use them, they'd spray from aircraft, spraying bacterial agents in aerosol form. And they used hairspray. Yeah, they would just spray it out over large areas, especially rivers and fields. Crops, water supplies and surfaces were thus contaminated with these pantheons. And here's to note, this was banned after World War I in the Geneva Convention.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

So Japan was secretly doing this.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

And they were completely doing it off the beam.

[Chris DiStefano]

They were doing it off the beam. And. Because here's the thing, first of all, yes, you're right, they used a lot of things that were used in hairspray. That's why people say, my hair looks good today. I said, I got it done in Pingfong. So the reason why, though, again, they were so angry at this Geneva Convention, and it was the Treaty of Versailles, is that what ended World War I. The Japanese were so angry because they really believe that they helped win that war, and the world did not give them. The Allied powers did not give them what they thought they deserved. So this is why they went on a backlash. Because basically what frustrated Japan is they. They had supposedly proposed a clause for racial equality to be included in the League of Nations, which was the thing that happened after World War I, but the US and Britain and Australia just opposed it. They were like, nope, not going to give you that.

[Giannis Pappas]

And what it was like, you know, when you go to a. You go to an amusement park. Yeah. And they have, you must be this tall to ride this ride. Yeah, well, what they did is you must be this tall to join this league. And the Japanese just. They just couldn't make it. Yeah, there's squeaks.

[Chris DiStefano]

They're usually squeaks, unfortunately. Yeah, they're squeaks. And unfortunately, your penis has to be.

[Giannis Pappas]

So big to join. It's what.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's just. It's just what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's just was. It was at the time, that's what they thought.

[Chris DiStefano]

So, so Japan. So Japan basically, you know, is basically, they're just on a warpath to take over China and all these Asian nations, and they really don't care. They. They. You have to understand, this resentment was growing for so many years after World War I for like 20 years after World War I, into these 1930s and 40s. And they basically are blaming the Chinese. They're angry at. They basically are saying it was because of the Chinese. They weren't given more spoils of war. Which is kind of just crazy and ludicrous. But that's. They thought so that's why they actually most Jap. Not most, a portion of the Japanese population at that time actually didn't consider Chinese people human. They just didn't. Because they considered them lab experiments or just other living things, but not actually human. Which is wild.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes, yes they did. And this was at the time, this was influenced by Western racial theories.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

So we had that going on in the west too. Whereas where the Aryan nation. We're superior.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

So they just believe that they were the rightful leader of Asia, just like the Germans believed they were the rightful leader of all of Europe. And China at the time was kind of weak and backwards and they viewed China just as an obstacle for of to their goal of controlling Asia. So after victory victories over China in 1895 and Russia in 1905, they grew confident and Japanese leadership felt emboldened and saw China as like an easy target. But also it's very resource rich. So that always comes with the territory too. They never go anywhere. You never hear anyone going, we're going to make a. We're going to go to the Sahara Desert and take it over. No, it's so they always, it's always a fertile, nice looking girl that's got natural minerals and resources.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. It's like, what do you got for me, babe?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. So it was worth colonizing. And then they had the Second Sino Japanese War in 1937-1945 and this was the period that we're talking about. Things just were a little one sided. If one people could dominate another more than this, show it to me. Because the Japanese dominated.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

What's known as the rape and then king. But what's lesser known is what happened here.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. And we're going to get to that right after this break because we're going to need to start the next section with the beam cast because things get real bad. Okay, so before we go any further, I do want to just say, my friends, I just do want to tell you a couple of things I do want to say. With the July 4th holiday happening tomorrow, I do want you guys to think about the idea of freedom. And I do want you to remember one thing. I do want you to remember this. Okay. While you're celebrating your freedom. I do want you to remember this, my friends, and I want you to take a deep breath and I want you to proclaim your rarity. Okay? I want you proclaimed. I want you to proclaim your rarity. I want you to understand that the obstacle is the way, that there is obstacles to get over. Use them as challenges. And I want to. And I want to make sure that you understand this, that freedom is not just the presence of action, but is the absence of compulsion, my friends. So you go out there and you be free. But you say to yourself, the reason why I am free is not because I have been given freedom rights by the British 250 years ago. That is nice and I do appreciate that. It's. It is because I am not obsessed with compulsion. I am able to restrain myself, my friends. I'm able to say to myself, yes, I want to eat three extra hot dogs. Yes, I want to have sweets. Yes, I want to cheat on my wife. But I will not do those things because freedom is truly the absence of compulsion. And that is the main thing I think, my friends, to think about freedom. It is the presence of action. It is the absence of compulsion. And I want you to go right now and I want you to light those firecrackers and I want you to have a good time and I want you to resound in freedom. And I want you to say, I control my compulsions. They do not control me.

[Giannis Pappas]

That is an excellent beam cast, my friends.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

That is brought to you by Chrissy Beams. Yes. Chrissy the beam walker. Yes. Chrissy the tightrope beam walker. Chrissy the acrobat.

[Chris DiStefano]

I'm the beanstalker. I am Chrissy the beanstalker. Cuz, are you gonna climb up my beanstalk?

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm climb up your beanstalkers.

[Chris DiStefano]

I want my friends out there to climb up my beamstalker.

[Giannis Pappas]

That is Chrissy the beam stalker. And this is. I just want you, my friends, for my beamcast. I want you to know, my friends, that I am Yanni the yard slinger. And I want to sling some yard at you, my friends. I want you to grab that ball of yarn and I want you to pull from one side because we all eat and live from the same ball of yarn. I want you to remember, we're all the same, no matter what your friends tell you, no matter what history tells you. We've done a lot of horrible things to each other. We've claimed superiority over each other, but at the end of the day, we're all fungus growing on A rock. And that's what we are. We're floating in nothing. And all you have to do is sit for one second and be in the present. I want you to impregnate yourself into the present. Go deep, balls deep into the present, my friends.

[Chris DiStefano]

Remember, the present is a gift, my friends. That's why it is called the present.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I want you to go balls deep. I want you to thrust all the way into the present, my friends, where you can thus feel the divinity of the divine, my friends. Yeah, don't go into your head. Your head is a bad neighborhood, my friends. Your head is. It's a. It's just an immigrant neighborhood.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I want you to. Want you to get safely back into the smooth sailing and the calm skies of Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, my friends.

[Chris DiStefano]

The friendly skies.

[Giannis Pappas]

The. The friendly skies of Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, in your mind, my friends. Just. Just a. Naturally. Just. You know what I'm talking about.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

You just want to go into a neighborhood in your mind where the rent's a little higher. Most people own.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

And it tends to be a little bit more. Yes of something. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

My friends, my friends. What. What? I urge you. And this. I. This is not a political podcast, and this is not, you know, this only applies to very, very specifically, New York City. But, my friends, if you would so kindly open up your apps and look at the Democratic voting polls, if you see that you are in a neighborhood or very near a neighborhood that voted strongly from Donnie, I urge you, my friends, to move out. I urge you, my friends, to run for the Hilton, because things might get a little bit off the beam for you, but you. You breathe through it as. As we've talked about before, the things that we can do. We can control our efforts, not our outcomes. And this is what we do, my friends. Now, we are going to continue to talk about the atrocity of unit 731 and our Japanese and the parts of Japanese history that they don't want you to know about, but we, unfortunately, do want you to know about. And what I like to do, though, is be unified. Be unified front, because we are all. At the end of the day, we're all human beings. We are all fungus on the rock, as you said, which General Shiro Ushi would use in chemical warfare.

[Giannis Pappas]

But that's.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what he would say. That is true. So what I would like to do is to just go through this together to kind of show solidarity, because you don't want to just be negative. You want to have some positivity. What I've done is while we're going to talk about Japanese history, we'll be doing it while eating edamame, one of the famous Japanese snacks and things that you can get. Also very low in saturated fat, very high in protein. And this is from our friends who are not a sponsor. It's called the Only Bean, but my company is called the Only Bean. And these are sriracha flavored edamame beans. So I would like to eat a few. Would you like to have a few?

[Giannis Pappas]

I have a few.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Thank you.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. A little sriracha, Jackie.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a lot. You gave me a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, they're absolutely delicious. And this is one of the good things that the Japanese have given us is edamame sushi. They've given us ichiro. They've given us a lot of good baseball players, pitchers, Matsui. The Japanese of today is much like the Germany today. Very different that. They're very much on the beam now. They're very much our allies. They love baseball. They're great. And they only recently, I think it was 2018, started to admit some of this stuff publicly. The Germans apologized for it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

Almost immediately. And they change their ways.

[Chris DiStefano]

Other way, other way.

[Giannis Pappas]

But the Japanese only recently have said, yeah, this all happened.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right. So I am. And we're happy for the Japanese for acknowledging that. So. But we do want to talk to you, talk you through some of the atrocities, Unfortunately. So unit 731, as we said, they would test biological warfare. They would drop what they would do. One of the things that they would do is actually, you know, because they had prison prisoner camps, which we'll tell you about those atrocities. But they would poison the food supply.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So they would put cholera and typhoid and other and other diseases into the food and let little kids eat it, let anyone who was going to eat it eat and just see what it did to them in the hopes that they would spread it amongst each other and then spread it to the Chinese soldiers. Now in the camps, they would do vivisections. What's a vivisection?

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, this is bad.

[Chris DiStefano]

What's a vivisection? Yes. Well, vivisection is Just take a sip. A vivisection is a live dissection. So removing a limb or removing organs out of the body while the patient is fully awake without anesthesia, because they wanted to see what happened to the body when there was no anesthesia and when you were in extreme pain. So what they. And they wouldn't care if you lived or died. If you died, they would just bring the next body in and continue where they left off.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, so.

[Chris DiStefano]

And by the way, this wasn't just done for adults. They would do this on children too because they wanted to see what happened to children's bodies when you would live. Vivisection, it.

[Giannis Pappas]

So they would also rape women and intentionally infect them with syphilis and venereal diseases and then give them a live dissection, which was called the vivisection, just to see what happened to the fetus.

[Chris DiStefano]

To the fetus. And they would kill the baby, you know, within moments after that because they really didn't care about the baby.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. And you gotta say, in some ways the Japanese always like eating their food raw. They like killing things raw.

[Chris DiStefano]

I do, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And so, you know, they were just making human sushi.

[Chris DiStefano]

So it's just what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's what the way they.

[Chris DiStefano]

So they would also one of these studies that I read about which was truly, I'm going to use the word abhorrent, it's just a big word that I just learned the other day so is they took a 10 year old girl, a 10 year old Chinese girl, and they put her arms in freezing cold water and let them get frostbitten. And then what they did is it hardened to a piece of wood. So what they took, they took one arm, you know, was fully frostbin, so black whatever, just made her stay in there for days. And then they tried to see what happened. If they broke it, would it, would it break off like a, you know, shattered glass? And so that didn't work. So then they did the other arm, they said maybe we can reverse the frostbite. And they poured scalding hot water on her arms. And of course she died in the experiment from the pain. And it just makes me really, really, really, really, really, really, really just angry at the Japanese for doing that because I guess you feel it a little bit more when you think back when you're like, oh my, I have a 10 year old daughter. So it's like, if you did that to my daughter, unfortunately I'd have to behead you and your whole family. And what it is, I just take a big shit on your flag.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's what we do. This is a good time to tell you that if we hadn't dropped, which I didn't know before we did research for this, if we wouldn't have dropped the nuke in Japan, they were planning on doing this to San Francisco that I didn't know, planning on dropping the bubonic plague on San Francisco. And of course, that would have wiped a lot of people out.

[Chris DiStefano]

They were going to drop the bubonic plague on San Fran.

[Giannis Pappas]

They were going to do what they were doing in China, and they were going to do it in San Francisco. They had plans to execute that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

So that's what they were doing.

[Chris DiStefano]

Do you think maybe we don't even realize, though, that they did drop some chemical warfare. Do you think they dropped gay on San Fran?

[Giannis Pappas]

Well, if you look at the effect, yeah, very possible. Just because the cause has never really been isolated and identified.

[Chris DiStefano]

Never been identified. They might have dropped gay on San Fran and parts of New York City, and they might have dropped it on our households and we got nicked.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, it may be. Why is it spreading so much?

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

It could be. It's crazy to know that they. That they were so into this. Right? This was banned. So this was totally like the Geneva Convention after World War I. This is how humans never learn, dude. Geneva Convention after World War I was brutal. Biological warfare was just. People had to wear masks and shit. They were just. And we were like. After World War I, we were like, dudes. We all got together and everyone was like, dudes.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right?

[Giannis Pappas]

We can't do that again.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And the Japanese were like, I'll see you can't do that again. And I'll do that again.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, so. Because here's the thing. So what they would do is, you know, they would test their effects. They had a name for their. For their human subjects, and they were called them maruta. And what does maruta mean? It means lots.

[Giannis Pappas]

It just means that looked at the people as just wood.

[Chris DiStefano]

As just wood log. So again, when you want to. When you have your, you know, teenage child telling you that the United States is this awful corporate greed power and that we were actually the villains in wars and we're the worst country ever. We didn't do that.

[Giannis Pappas]

No.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. Never. Not once in history has that been uncovered.

[Giannis Pappas]

And can you imagine if we didn't stop this? Right? So people always go. They go by the numbers. Oh, look at how we firebombed Dresden. Yes.

[Chris DiStefano]

We killed.

[Giannis Pappas]

I think more people died in Dresden than they did in Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

But you know, you have to stop it somehow.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right. Yeah, you have to stop it somehow. You can't ask. You can't say, hey, guys, can you please stop that? No, that doesn't work. No, you can't kill a few guys and say, we killed a few guys. Will you stop now? Yeah, sometimes you got to use overwhelming force.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

And you have. It's a war of philosophies.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

You got the west that has freedom, individual rights, rule of law, blah, blah, blah. And then you got military dictatorships in Nazi Germany and in fucking Japan. And I'm sick of this fucking Hitler thing. And the Jew thing, He didn't only kill Jews.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, he didn't only kill Jews.

[Giannis Pappas]

He killed my people, too.

[Chris DiStefano]

He killed.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay, you. That's what you did.

[Chris DiStefano]

Kill my people, too. He killed a lot of homosexuals.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, these are military dictatorships. They don't stop by. You asking them not to do it anymore?

[Chris DiStefano]

No, they just. So you're gonna have to do things to stop them. Now, one of the other things they would do is they would tie prisoners of war. And by the way, the prisoners of war that they had at the time, Soviets, Koreans, Mongolians, and even a few United States and French citizens, allied POWs. So that's why it was interesting that the United States will tell you what they did later on, but why they decided not to just go full force, even harder on the Japanese, and make them admit these crimes. But what they would do is they would tie them to poles, like out in a field, and they would drop bombs filled with whatever type of chemical agent they had and just let them sit there and see what happened while they were tied to the poles. They would also do another thing. A little cute thing that they would do is they would take flamethrowers, have a soldier tied to a pole, take a flamethrower, and then hit the. Hit them with the flame, their bare skin and with clothes, because they want to see if there was a difference. If there was. If there was any difference between putting the flame on your actual skin or if the clothes made a difference. So it's just what it was.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's just what they did. Now, you got to remember, the Japanese did not have penicillin, and they did not use any type of numbing agents.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, the things the Japanese didn't have. They didn't have numbing agents. They didn't have penicillin. They didn't have souls or hearts.

[Giannis Pappas]

They just did.

[Chris DiStefano]

Those are the things that they just didn't have.

[Giannis Pappas]

They didn't have those. They were without that.

[Chris DiStefano]

They were without those things.

[Giannis Pappas]

They did not have that. And that's what they did.

[Chris DiStefano]

Japanese, I'm. I dare I say the Japanese being run by the Department of, you know, Environmental Smithtown Water Protection, I would say they might have been the most off the beam of any one of World War II.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, it's hard to say, but you definitely want to give either the gold and silver to. I'm going to get. That's a toss up.

[Chris DiStefano]

It is, right?

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, when you go back, we're reexamining all this history. I mean, Nazis, Imperial Japan. It's definitely a gold silver medal situation, right? I mean, it really is.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's neck and neck.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's neck and neck again.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, no comparison. The Germans certainly have the numbers. They killed much more people and they mass exterminated many more people. Can't deny that the estimated death toll in Japan was 12,000. However, a lot of people do think that number is way, way more. Because when we, you know, when the Allied powers nuke Japan and when Japan formally surrendered at the end of night in the middle of 1945, they destroyed all their records. So the Germans didn't do that. So we have German records and videos. They made videos. The Japanese made videos to show to the emperors, but they destroyed almost all of them.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris DiStefano]

So no actual proof of the real number. Because what they would do is they, they would cremate like 100% of these victims got cremated. So there is no way to know. They said 12,000. And you have to take their word. But it's what? Yeah, I don't know.

[Giannis Pappas]

Usually Asians are good at math. But here's the deal, right? They did this for 10 years with impunity on an occupied area. They had all the Chinese at their disposal to do this too. We have no idea. And yeah, once it started to become evident to them that the Allied forces were gonna win the war, they knew that this would not look good. And so they destroyed all the evidence because they knew it would be bad, bad, bad. And we would go, shame, shame, shame. So they got rid of everything. We found out about it. Douglas Smith Arthur, who was the American general in charge of that theater of war, found out about it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yep.

[Giannis Pappas]

And he ran it up the flagpole and he said, what are we gonna do? There's some crimes against humanity here. And then there was a. We were doing something similar. Now here's the deal, right? People go, oh, America's bad too. Yeah, we did MK Ultra.

[Chris DiStefano]

We did bad stuff. Not excusing us, but not as bad.

[Giannis Pappas]

We weren't, we weren't fucking cutting people over. They were live. We were giving them LSD to see if we could control their mind. So, okay, a couple of hippies in fucking the Valley lost their minds, right?

[Chris DiStefano]

Bad.

[Giannis Pappas]

It was bad, but it's not as bad as cutting people open or raping them with venereal diseases, or dropping biological weapons on full town.

[Chris DiStefano]

They would test certain types of guns and weapons at close range. Fixed bayonets, certain types of bullets, tying prisoners of war to polls and testing them at different ranges. All mostly 99 Chinese citizens. It didn't matter. Woman, child, man, they killed them all. Again, they viewed these people as logs, not maruta.

[Giannis Pappas]

They called them wood. Yeah. And what happened, which is what I.

[Chris DiStefano]

Know some of you guys have listening to this episode because you're sick.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, you are.

[Chris DiStefano]

And you're off the beam and you have leaky roofs.

[Giannis Pappas]

You got a leaky roof, my friend.

[Chris DiStefano]

And I'm sorry for cursing. I promised I wouldn't, but that was the first F bomb I've dropped in a while.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, is that the new thing? No cursing?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, well, I've been. If you've noticed, I've been not cursing. I've been up and dropping Fs.

[Giannis Pappas]

Well, okay, if you don't consider slurs curses, I get it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, that's just what. Yeah, those are not considered slurs. Those are just considered Ridgewood. Hello, wei song xiin.

[Giannis Pappas]

So Douglas MacArthur was the supreme commander of the Allied powers in post war Japan approved the deal that granted immunity. So check this out. The Americans, now this is. What we did was a little off the beam, but was it? I don't know.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know, this is real politic here. Right? So they granted immunity to unit 731. So they knew about it. They granted immunity to the members in exchange for their research.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

So we were like, we could have never done this research because we have morals and souls.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

But since you did it, we're curious to find out what you came up.

[Chris DiStefano]

With, what are the numbers? And let's tell them about the research right after this break.

[Giannis Pappas]

So General Charles E. Luke, I think his name is Lux.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. General Charles E. Lux reviewed and supported the use of the data for US purposes. So you're going, who's that guy? Well, that guy was. He was, he was a major general and he was a senior officer in the U.S. army's chemical corps, a leading figure in America's early biological warfare program. So he was curious, he was going, hey, this is my life's work. What did you guys come up with? Yeah, so we, we granted them immunity. And the main guy, Ichiri. Yeah, right. He ended up living a life. Oh yeah, under like our protection. Like he was in the fucking witness protection program. And he ended up converting to Catholicism.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, that's the thing. You think General Shiro Ushi, you think he's going to go, you know, out like, like, you know, Hitler, kill himself allegedly and then go move to Argentina and live a life? No, General Shiro Ushi, like you said, is given pretty much diplomatic immunity because the US is saying your stuff yielded results. We got, we got the, like the data from the live testing of the plague and the anthrax. We, we see now how disease spreads and weapon, weapon effectiveness and human tolerance to torture. So they said, listen, because, you know, so you gave us this data. U.S. military intelligence officers, as you said, MacArthur said, all right, you go that way. We got the data. No harm, even though there was foul. You can just go live the rest of your days. He wound up dying of throat cancer in the 60s because what it is, kids couldn't stop eating puss. But it's, you know, it's one of those things where. Here's the thing, what Tampa Tony told me when I was little and this is a real life saving piece of advice. He said, you will start to enjoy life more when you understand life isn't fair. Because the real world is not the movies. Things don't always work out. The bad guys sometimes just do live happily ever after. And it's something you just got to suck up and just stick in your pipe and smoke it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. The US feared the Soviets might acquire the same data. So that's why cut a secret deal.

[Chris DiStefano]

This is why.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. And we took it.

[Chris DiStefano]

And because people couldn't understand why would the United States aid in this cover. But as Janis just said, that's the reason why Soviets were off the beam.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, I would give the bronze medal to Stalin because he starved most of his people and his, his ideology, which we call him on Donnie now. Yeah, and people say, oh, he's not a communist. But I just watched a 2021 interview with him where he said, once we seize the modes of production and that is communist.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what we call a communist slogan.

[Giannis Pappas]

And that came out of his mouth and I watched it, but I'm sure I'll be gaslit and they'll say, oh, he doesn't mean that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Whatever it is, it is whatever you say. I refer to the T shirt that I saw last week of a man wearing it said, said Mamdani, I'm Mangani.

[Giannis Pappas]

So Ishii lived the rest of his life, like I said, American protection, quietly and comfortably in Japan, avoiding media and any legal scrutiny. He worked for the US military after that in a consulting Capacity. And like he said, he died in 67 and he never faced trial. And him along with, I think it was 700, 131 other members of these, of unit 731 with high command were.

[Chris DiStefano]

All granted, all acquitted.

[Giannis Pappas]

And we just kept the whole thing.

[Chris DiStefano]

Quiet where they, you know, they, they tried the rape of Nanking. People died for that, people went to jail for that. But unit 731 completely 100% omitted.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, they, the, a lot of the, in the rape and Nanking, they had the Tokyo War, the Tokyo War Crimes Tribunal. And a lot of them got that. Of course, the Nazis, Nuremberg, we know about that, that. But these guys got away scot free because they had unique, interesting research. And as the general I mentioned, who was, what was his name again?

[Chris DiStefano]

Whatever. Which one?

[Giannis Pappas]

The American General MacArthur. No, the other one who. Yeah, Hawks, whatever. He goes, this was invaluable research and we got it pretty cheap.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, that's just what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

So we got it pretty cheap. So that is the story of the horrors that happen. And it's just, I want to emphasize that point. Like, yeah, we did a lot of bad stuff, but ultimately if you pull back, helicopter view, right? You go, was this evil? Was this a society that was evil? Right. And you kind of look back and you go, I think so. You look back at the Germans and you go, what's the end result of that if that continued? Right, right there. Okay, so we did a lot of damage, we dropped the nuke and we always get played, people, you know, but it's like, what if that would have continued?

[Chris DiStefano]

The thing that scares me the most about this is like our brains have not really evolved at all, not one thing in the past 70 years. So the brains that we currently have were the brains that these people had and they decided to do that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Which is kind of just nuts.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I love when they say, like, oh, you know, like just let's take Iran for example, right? It's a dictatorship, Right, Right. Or you take Russia, for example, it's a dictatorship. Right. And you go, oh, they're not doing anything bad. It's because you don't know about it. Because they don't let anyone tell you about what they're doing right now. Israel does the same thing. They don't let reporters in Gaza or whatever. They don't, they do the similar thing.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

But at least we know that they're doing that because they say, no reporters in there. Yeah, these guys you can't even get into. What do you think the North Korean dictatorship is doing to its people. We don't know.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

But it can't be good because dictatorships are always bad. Name me one good dictator who's ever been a good one?

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, well, I'm. I got different feelings than you.

[Giannis Pappas]

Who do you like? Who's your favorite dictator? Um, maybe Queen Elizabeth, but she was a chick.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, no, I was gonna say my favorite one is a guy who lived out his last.

[Giannis Pappas]

His life. This part's on the Patreon $25 level. I don't want you to speak honestly.

[Chris DiStefano]

My favorite dictator is probably the man who lived his later years, his twilight years. No, I'm kidding.

[Giannis Pappas]

They're just. It's a bad system. So, my friends, I am not worried in America, no matter what happens, everyone gets all up in arms about, oh, Trump or Mondami. I'm not worried. As long as our system holds, right. Term limits, separation of powers, three branches of government, rule of law, common law, individual rights. As long as that holds, will be. If it doesn't work, hey, Mondami gets in, let's say give him four years. He'll probably ruin it because I'm from New York. Not like most of the people who voted for him who came here and can't find a job because they got a liberal arts degree and they don't know what to do and robots are coming and they don't know how to do math. That's not my problem. Right, but let him in for four years. Maybe it'll. We do have a. We have. We do have too much of a separation between the lower and. And maybe that'll work, right? But this, maybe between retards. Let it happen. As long as we can come back to the middle sometime. As long as the system holds. Once you start seeing dictatorship, things start to happen. That's when you got to get another passport. That's when Jesse's going back to Israel because he's got a right to return. He's the only one who's got a right to return. I gotta go through paperwork and say my mother was born in Greece, whatever. And you got nowhere to go.

[Chris DiStefano]

I got nowhere to go, cuz I got one thing and one thing only, and that's a New York passport. So tell us what we got right? Tell us what we got wrong about Unit 731. It's an atrocious, atrocious, atrocious part of history that is real that it's getting some more light now. There's a couple of good documentaries on it the one that I watched that was really awesome is the one that's exactly one hour long. I think it's. It has the kid's name in it. Shiro Shahiro Ishii. General Shahiro Ishii. And then unit 731 documentary. But it's let us know what you like. And of course every episode patreon.com history hyenas. We read out the newest members of the matriarchy. And this is the fun part. So we'd like to do is we'll wash away a little bit this Japanese history a little bit this bad stuff and now we'll just have some fun with the newest members of the matriarchy. And we hope that the whoever wins, congratulations to you.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know what? I just thought, yeah, after this episode we're gonna get some horrible walked into ones about this.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. So welcome to the matriarchy. Sorry Ayg, but I'm g a y bad, bad, bad. So said sorry are you garbage. But I'm okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm going to Drexel.

[Chris DiStefano]

That. That's a fun one.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a fun one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Vic Boss, K Dog, Chrissy Rosenblatt. Then we got why are the Vatican school meals always cream based?

[Giannis Pappas]

Put them on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

Interesting.

[Giannis Pappas]

Very inventive.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got. I love fixing up trannies. I ain't no mechanic.

[Giannis Pappas]

Put them on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

Back to back listies. Then we got St Matthias's throat boxing Academy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Put them on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. I guess that's the school I went to.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wow. Three back. Have we ever had three back to back to backs? I don't think so.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got Muhammad. My foreskin didn't stand a chance. Rashad.

[Giannis Pappas]

We got to put him on the list. I mean, this is not. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got Franks and beaners acrossing the border.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, we've had. I'm gonna Drexler. Because we've had franks and beaners before. But a very good.

[Chris DiStefano]

So we've had four in a row. Marque AGF2 FFY, Info Wars, Connor Murtha. Then we got Filthy Sauce Bucket. Built like Kirby Puckett. But make no mistake, we'll suck it for a trip to Nantucket.

[Giannis Pappas]

Put him on the list. Dare I say Catapult. Holy.

[Chris DiStefano]

I've never seen these this happen.

[Giannis Pappas]

This is incredible.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got Valhalla for Allah. It's just what it is from 2020.

[Giannis Pappas]

If he just said Valhalla for Allah. So I'm going to Drexler. But I mean, this is the strongest list we've ever had.

[Chris DiStefano]

Is he Norwegian Muslim kid? Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Valhalla for Allah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got Jacob Burt. Deep State Daddy devastating desert dictators.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm going to. Wow, that's a good one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Deep State Daddy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Deep State Daddy devastating desert dictators. All these LDs. Very funny. And it's going to be Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Then we got. My wife left me. What it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

They're slipping them past you.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, unfortunately, she walked in one. Yep. Then we got Slapping pregnant gypsies. That's not okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's not okay. Another walked into it.

[Chris DiStefano]

John Stanley, Alex Drake. Pepperoni wheel. Piece. He said his piece is a pepperoni wheel.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

Kenneth Weaver. Then we got 21 piece. Gun salute for Christina Formella. The one that the. The teacher. Who's a teacher.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a piece we're gonna Dr. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

She's just gonna do 30 years in prison. It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. It's just not right. We gotta free her.

[Chris DiStefano]

We.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know how they did a free mum duel? What was his name in Philadelphia? Yeah, we gotta free her.

[Chris DiStefano]

Christina Formala. Free up.

[Giannis Pappas]

Free Christina. Formella.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got. I saved Paul Agassi at the Sound Factory. I guess the kid almost had a drug overdose at the Sound Factory. And he said he saved him.

[Giannis Pappas]

Dare I say that? I think this is the strongest list we've ever had.

[Chris DiStefano]

They make it, though. They haven't made. That's a Drexler.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Then we got Juwan. Like Howard. Dad knows ball. Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

One like Howard. Juwan Howard.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Okay, Trey. Then we got. Where was Zach ISIS on October 7th?

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a good question, actually. A legitimate question. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got. I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Crack me open and clean me out. I feel like we've had that.

[Giannis Pappas]

We've had. But that's still a good one. I'm going to Drexler because it's good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got Jealous Caesar and Anthony hit that Sand Wei song. Walked into it.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a borderline, though.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a. I'm going to Drexler. It. That's not so much a. Walked into one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got Matt. Then we got Glenn Greenwald's Bunyan removal service list.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, God.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Holy shit.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got Flick your beans, not the Franks. Then we got Fumarian Brotherhood, AKA ss, AKA Squeak Sniffer.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's very good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Very good. But.

[Giannis Pappas]

But it's a Drexler, though. No, he walked around and walked into one, which I've never seen.

[Chris DiStefano]

Nice. Yeah, no muff too tough. Eastern hemi nuclear scientist shoe. That was close. Okay. Okay, Chrissy. Okay, Chrissy. Oh. Oh, this can't say this one.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's just baraging family.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Disparaging the family. Can't say it no more.

[Giannis Pappas]

Anything you have to do with bicycle seats?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, we just can't do that. Can't do it, Michael. Then we got Yanni's honeydew X ray piece. Okay. Juneteenth Queen melanin Monroe. Michael Santana climbing up the ladder.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wait a second, wait a second. We just skipped over a goodie. Melon melanin Monroe.

[Chris DiStefano]

Melanin tooth Queen Mullen and Monroe Melanin Monroe.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's very good. It's just because the list is so strong, but otherwise it was a good one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Acknowledge it.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm gonna chicken finger that one. That's a very good one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Climbing up the ladder. Here's something.

[Giannis Pappas]

Splatter kid had diarrhea while he's. What it is do is firefighting.

[Chris DiStefano]

Brian Pollard, Savannah. Chrissy Sweets. Until they remove his Chrissy feats.

[Giannis Pappas]

Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

I like that freaky squeak on a leash. Crushing crease with a decent piece.

[Giannis Pappas]

Very nice.

[Chris DiStefano]

Lucid m. Ned Dickey D1 1 man. Brian Aing. Kyle Anderson. Vinegar hard R. Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

You walked in.

[Chris DiStefano]

I couldn't do that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Chrissy's uvula in the is the backboard. My is Tim Duncan.

[Giannis Pappas]

We've had that.

[Chris DiStefano]

But it's funny.

[Giannis Pappas]

Had that exact same one, I believe.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. In a different way. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Fat, fat, fat. Polynesian potato monkey chicken.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Scooter McGavin. Nick wrong piece. So uncut.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wrong. I think they got you on Nick wrong or no? No.

[Chris DiStefano]

Nick Wrong.

[Giannis Pappas]

No. No.

[Chris DiStefano]

Peace. So uncut it looks like David Duke. Louis Gay Gomez. Neil Degrasse Tyson. Oh, welcome to show. Neil Degrasse.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. We had him as a guest in the show.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Ohtani Bukakis and mommy's tummy. Matthew Gordon. Say that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Walk into one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Sorry about that. No, sorry about that.

[Giannis Pappas]

That is not good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yep. UCF alum pumping aids glue in your bum. Hashtag surrender like Bono. Okay. Super granny fanny licking Frisbee Alidocious. Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Super. It says super foul, casual, super grand.

[Chris DiStefano]

That one girl Frisbees killing Sandra Bees for the Honeyland.

[Giannis Pappas]

Just, just. He's commentating. He's commentating on the situation. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Ricardo Papadoulas Sahar. Blue Chew. Made my glue blue.

[Giannis Pappas]

Huge. Oh, damn. Amen.

[Chris DiStefano]

Endless glue for my eastern hemi piece. I knew I was in a Leroy town when everything but the sunscreen was locked up Put them on the list.

[Giannis Pappas]

Put them on the list. Get the catapult and put them on the list. Put them on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

All right.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a home run. Put him on the list. Jesus Christ is the toughest one Bobby.

[Chris DiStefano]

The throat goat Kennedy's angry Voice Box Leah W.H. cameron A. The Brooklyn Nets turned me muzzy now my bush is looking fuzzy Can I.

[Giannis Pappas]

Just say, do we stop here because we have so many.

[Chris DiStefano]

Let me just finish this page.

[Giannis Pappas]

Finish this page.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Just not fair at this point.

[Chris DiStefano]

Pops getting two and while Chrissy plays hummus cannon Hyenas eat free on Tuesdays but you need to check your glue guns at the door don't want an oopsie Daisy Corey Bleacher Jax Cuddly Chrissy D's D cracked open a muzzy and the fumes gave me 911 flashbacks lot of 14. What do we do?

[Giannis Pappas]

So it's. It's a Drexler walked into one Slash. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. Opening for Tim Dillon. But there's no audience.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay. That's so good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's another one. You gotta list it because.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Tim Dylan's about to beg this kid out.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes. That's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, God.

[Chris DiStefano]

Trevor G. Then we got sis. Buster Dill. Call me CBD. Chrissy D's glue gun smells like Yanni's poo bun.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Sniffing AOC's bush brush for fumes. Bush brush.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm crying.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got. I was an altar boy and was. I was an altar boy and boy was I altered.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's too good.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's portable too.

[Giannis Pappas]

But that's the thing. That's what we got to stop. Because it's like too. It's. I'm going to Drexler it. Because.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. But it's just. This is. But you got to play that, you know, during the game. This is what Drexler couldn't pick. Drexler couldn't say. I don't want to say now.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's right.

[Chris DiStefano]

They're reading. We gotta read the pages.

[Giannis Pappas]

Any other day, guys. I'll say any other day.

[Chris DiStefano]

The thing is if you don't. If you got a great name and you don't make it, you could change your name. Right? Isn't it is or they can't change their name. We just don't see it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's the problem.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

All right. Richie Mitchell. Bane. Then we got. Sticking batteries up my ass because I'm fully charged.

[Giannis Pappas]

Put them on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. See There you go.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know, and put the other guy on the list, too. Honorary. I mean, he's not gonna make. Put him on the list, too. Put the I'm altered guy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Got it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Got him. Mike Marino. Preston Glad. Tom Montgomery. Holly Doak. Peace. Grease for a Frisbee feast. Ed Pollock, Pole polisher.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a good way to call yourself a Polish gay guy.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what it is. Brendan Foster. Thomas Greenman. Tyler. The Shaman Germanata Sauce Monkey has a long, thick and chunky German.

[Giannis Pappas]

Stephanie Germanata.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yep. Ivan Pena. Rosalie Rivera. Salty Chrissy. Buss Chronoside. Stephen H. Matt Hagg. David Daly. Peter Klembisk. Luke Madison. Yanni's furor. Fume chamber 50 coco. 100 clan. Curious Dan. Darren Brand. Oscar Pacheco. And then last but not least, currently blowing a turd out the back door and breathing in the puke fumes like a Frisbee Head in 1943.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a walk into one. It's a walked in.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's not good, Right?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Inventive, though.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. So we got to stop there, right?

[Giannis Pappas]

Gotta stop.

[Chris DiStefano]

Gotta stop there.

[Giannis Pappas]

This is gonna be the toughest one. This is the bet. I will declare this the best list we've ever had.

[Chris DiStefano]

All right, here we go.

[Giannis Pappas]

Either right.

[Chris DiStefano]

This might take us a few minutes to get.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris DiStefano]

So here we go. So let me just read them all out, and then we'll take it from there. Okay. Why are the Vatican school meals always cream based?

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay, I can Drexle that right away.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

All right.

[Giannis Pappas]

Any other day.

[Chris DiStefano]

I love fixing up trannies. I ain't no mechanic.

[Giannis Pappas]

Very good. I can address that right away.

[Chris DiStefano]

St Matthias's throat boxing Academy.

[Giannis Pappas]

We're gonna keep that for now.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Muhammad. My foreskin didn't stand a chance. Rashad.

[Giannis Pappas]

We're gonna drex for that any other day for any of these guys. You're all winners.

[Chris DiStefano]

Filthy sauce bucket. Built like Kirby Pucket. Make no mistake, we'll suck it for a trip to Nantucket.

[Giannis Pappas]

Gonna have to drive.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's just. This is the definition of the game. I know what we have coming.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

All right.

[Giannis Pappas]

So all winners.

[Chris DiStefano]

Glenn Greenwald's Bunion Removal Service.

[Giannis Pappas]

We're gonna have to keep that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

We're gonna have to keep that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. So keeping that. One, two. All right. And then we got. I knew I was in a Leroy town when everything but the sunscreen was locked up.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're gonna have to keep that.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Opening for Tim Dillon. But there's no audience.

[Giannis Pappas]

We're gonna chicken finger that one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

But you're a winner.

[Chris DiStefano]

I was an alter boy, and boy was I altered.

[Giannis Pappas]

We're gonna chicken finger that. You're a winner.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got sticking batteries up my ass because I'm fully charged.

[Giannis Pappas]

That is ordinarily a chicken finger winner. I'm gonna. I'm gonna have to chicken finger it.

[Chris DiStefano]

All right, so the ones.

[Giannis Pappas]

Damn it.

[Chris DiStefano]

So here's what.

[Giannis Pappas]

I hate doing this.

[Chris DiStefano]

So here's what we have remaining. We have three, and this is one of the toughest lists we've ever had to get through. But we do have three. We have the St Matthias throat boxing Academy. We have Glenn Greenwald's bunion removal service, and we have. I knew I was in a Leroy town when everything but the sunscreen was locked up.

[Giannis Pappas]

Ok, we do this right every time, except when we miss one and one goes over our head. Shout out Leroy Ceiling Cricket. But we're going to get rid of the first one.

[Chris DiStefano]

St. Matthias's throat boxing. And the other day, that's paying homage to the grammar school that I went to.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's exactly right. Ridgewood, Queens. So big fan who's been listening a long time came up with a funny one and also got to give him credit because there's been a lot of.

[Chris DiStefano]

Angles on that Y.

[Giannis Pappas]

And this guy that's.

[Chris DiStefano]

He found something new. It's like. It's like when a comedian finds that Asians are bad drivers. Angle. Very good.

[Giannis Pappas]

Exactly. But we got two hall of Fame contenders. Yes, we have two. This is a heavyweight bout between two hall of Fame contenders.

[Chris DiStefano]

Between Glen. Between Glenn Greenwald's bunion removal service. And I knew I was a Leroy when everything but the sunscreen was locked up.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay. For me, it's both. So we're going to have to vote because this is too hard.

[Chris DiStefano]

So you.

[Giannis Pappas]

You equally good to me.

[Chris DiStefano]

So Jesse equally falls on you. You have to cast the first one.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay. For me, I used to use the Apple store as an indicator of when I was in a good neighborhood. So the sunscreen is definitely the winner.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay. Where are you going? That is a new idea I've never heard before. Yeah, that's a very funny one. But Glenn Greenwald's bunion service, so for me, refer to a young black prostitute is very funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

For me, it's tough because the way that I saw Jesse laugh, I knew it was a Leroy and everything, but the sunscreen was locked up. I haven't really seen him laugh like that. So that was interesting. But then the way that I saw not only Giannis laugh, but actually have to take a moment where maybe his life has changed after hearing Glenn Greenwald's bunion removal service. I'm going to go with Glenn Greenwald's Bunyan removal service only because it is. It is it. What it's showing is he's listening or she is listening to this podcast very thoroughly. It was something we only spoke about very briefly. Glenn Greenwald, as we found out when we brought up Glenn Greenwald in front of 2,000 people at the live Dr. Phil show in Atlantic City. Most people don't know who we're talking about because the joke that we made about him. Absolutely bomb.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris DiStefano]

So for me, I am going to pick Glenn Greenwald's bunion removal service. So this is one of those things where unfortunately is now lying on you. So you. You have one vote for each, and you just have to make decision because heavy lies the crown.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes. Can you read them both again? So I can just feel what happens to my gut.

[Chris DiStefano]

I knew I was in a Leroy town when everything but the sunscreen was locked up. And then Glenn Greenwald's Bunyan removal service.

[Giannis Pappas]

We're going to get a lot of heat for this. One way or the other. Fans are going to be. They have their idea right now. They're listening right now. And I'm going to guess that a lot of them are leaning towards sunscreen locked up because they're borderline racist.

[Chris DiStefano]

And they also feel like they want some kind of retribution for us. Missing Leroy ceiling cricket.

[Giannis Pappas]

They may want that, but it's not just. It's just funny. It's just funny. The Glenn Greenroyd's Bunion removal service is very. It's layered funny because he's licking feet.

[Chris DiStefano]

It can come off the floor and all it's to do with his feet.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris DiStefano]

So it's layered. It's not on the nose.

[Giannis Pappas]

As usual. I'm gonna give a shout out to the borderline walked into ones.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

They're often some of the most creative, but like you said, we try to bring people together.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

So we're gonna laugh because we're comedians. And it is one of the funniest ones we've ever had. That's why you're a finalist. But I'm gonna go with the safer one. And I'm probably gonna take a lot of heat in this because you put the crown on me here.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

So I'm gonna take the heat.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's a small crown because you have a small head.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a very tiny, tiny crown.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay. It's very small.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

But it's a donut shape. Yes, it's the size of a donut. But I'm going with Glenn Greenwald, Onion Removal Service.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because I just want everyone to know that we don't think all black neighborhoods are dangerous.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Fair enough. Just closely. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Way Song.

[Chris DiStefano]

So Glenn Greenwald. Glenn Green, Glenn Greenwald's Bunion Removal Service. Congratulations. You are this week's PPW pseudo penis of the week. You will see your name up in lights at history hyenas is back.com Also, we have all our live stand updates there. We are going to be doing a live show. Unfortunately, you missed the one that we just did at the Comedy Cellar in New York City. But we will doing a live History Hyena show in in Stamford, Connecticut in August. I believe those tickets are already up.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris DiStefano]

On the site. So go to historian is back.com or giannispapascomedy.com or christy comedy.com get those tickets to Stanford, Connecticut. We will be doing a big live history hyena show. And of course, all our standup dates are up there. I'll be at the Bray Improv in July. And I will be in. We've just added Montreal and I have a bunch of dates in July and August, Minneapolis and a bunch of others. So go, go check it out.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. And check me out in Providence, July 11th and 12th, I believe. Yeah. Get your tickets. Tampa and whatever else is on my website. I can never remember. I'm never prepared for this segment. But all the they're on my Instagram, they're on my website. And never forget patreon.com history hyenas, where you can get these episodes a day early ad free. You get our weekly bonus episodes where we really go wild. You can join at the 5 or $10 level. The $10 level gives you the video and there's a $25 level for our rich people who want to support and they get an additional episode only for them once a month. We love you guys.

[Chris DiStefano]

Love you, baby. And you will be able to hear our next episode. Continue on with us right [e-mail] shifty. We're going to talk a little bit more about this and we got some new topics.