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Chris Distefano
What's up, everybody? See me live this month, February 20th and 21st in Bakerfields, California. Catch us live. The History Hyenas February 23rd at the Comedy Cellar Village Underground. Get your tickets at History Hyenas is back dot com what it is.
Yannis Pappas
And we got a great episode for you with our man, Rodell Ortiz, our first Dominican person ever on the show. And it was fun, it was informative. And don't take the C train.
Chris Distefano
Don't take the C train. Or the A train.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. We got Chrissy D, Yanni P. And then I believe we have now I believe this is our first Dominican guest, Rodell Ortiz.
Rodell Ortiz
Let's fucking go.
Chris Distefano
Let's go, baby.
Rodell Ortiz
Dominican.
Chris Distefano
Today we're doing Historia Hijaniania.
Yannis Pappas
So that's right. During Black History Month, we said we're gonna get a Dominican. And so how this happened, Nick just.
Chris Distefano
Took a sneaky pic of you.
Yannis Pappas
Look at that.
Chris Distefano
He was.
Yannis Pappas
He was to tell his whole family, right? Yeah, Nick, Nick. We said, you know what? Nick, Nick got excited. So for us, what happened?
Rodell Ortiz
Right?
Yannis Pappas
So what happened was, is we. Your manager, who I know, Dex. Yeah, he. We wanted David Cross on the podcast like a month ago, and then some shit fell through. Whatever. So Dex is like, oh, I. Whatever, hook it up with David Cross. But he was like, let's get you. And I said, I said, okay. And because we've been doing comedy like so long, we just don't know what's going on in the Internet anymore, right? We're just old boomers. Like, we just do our shit and forget about it. So I looked, I said, this guy's funny. And more Importantly, he's got 2 million followers. That'll help us. So now we're at the point where we're just saying, you know what, just come on the show and tell our fans who probably know about you already, just tell them. Tell them everything and be funny and we'll go viral and we'll give you a cut.
Chris Distefano
Well, we just found out too. Very funny. My mother in law follows you online.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, yeah, she's.
Yannis Pappas
And what'd you call her? A donda.
Chris Distefano
She's the look he seeder.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah.
Chris Distefano
Oh, you know my mother in law.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, we. We talk.
Chris Distefano
You date my mother in law.
Yannis Pappas
Hey, man, you talked to his mother in law online course.
Rodell Ortiz
She's.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, she does.
Chris Distefano
Look, yeah, yeah, I fucking with you.
Rodell Ortiz
But I've never spoken to her.
Yannis Pappas
But she's going. You probably have actually. Don't Realize that you might.
Rodell Ortiz
I respond. I'd be responding.
Yannis Pappas
So you responding?
Chris Distefano
You got a lot of older ladies who come to your shows?
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Older women who have never gone to a comedy show ever.
Yannis Pappas
Right, Right.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, right.
Chris Distefano
That's what I love about the Internet is it's. It's everyone into comedy.
Yannis Pappas
Everyone into comedy. And we're all in our own little zones. Like, there's no reason to be like. Like, who was a good example? Like, Kevin Hart is, like, generally famous right now. We're all just known to our fan. We all got our little pockets, and that's good enough. I think that's better, actually, because you've become generally famous, and everybody knows who you are everywhere you go. That's not a fun life at all. Now it's like, oh, this person knows me. And then the people over there are like, who is that? And I'm like, that's what I want to hear. That's what I want to hear. I want the person taking a picture of me in public to be like, I don't know who the fuck you are. But that's actually comforting to me, because then I'm like, okay, you're safe.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. It used to be you learn how to do comedy live, you know, and now I think you. You work out your comedy on. I think everyone just does it online, which is the same thing. It's fine. It's. It's the different way to do it.
Yannis Pappas
Were you inspired to do comedy by Maurice?
Rodell Ortiz
Absolutely not. Right. But I did.
Chris Distefano
Did you know? Do you know who?
Yannis Pappas
Of course. Come on, man.
Rodell Ortiz
You fucking. You basically started, like, the whole shit, bro.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
You one of the. Like, that's all.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, like, two. It's, like, 15 years now, 16 years ago.
Rodell Ortiz
So I first saw that when it first came out.
Yannis Pappas
Sure.
Rodell Ortiz
I thought it was hilarious. And then I was never, like. I never, like, was into, like, the comedies, like, to go. Go to comedy clubs and stuff. Right. But then later on, maybe like, two or three years ago, I saw you somewhere online, and I'm like, yo, this is that fucking guy, bro.
Yannis Pappas
Right, right.
Chris Distefano
Yo, that's that app guy.
Yannis Pappas
That's that. And what's big, you do comedy in Spanish, too, right?
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah. So my show is like, Spanglish.
Yannis Pappas
That's amazing.
Rodell Ortiz
So it's, like, mostly Eng, but then a lot of the punchlines are in Spanish.
Yannis Pappas
Perfect.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Because it cultivates your own audience.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Right.
Rodell Ortiz
I have had some people who was pissed, though, because they would come and, you know, were they mad that you.
Chris Distefano
Were Doing it in Spanish or some people.
Rodell Ortiz
I did the Chicago improv and sure.
Yannis Pappas
A lot of Puerto Ricans. A lot of, like, in Chicago.
Rodell Ortiz
So that was like my first time ever doing standup in Chicago. And I had a comment on Facebook that just made me. It said, don't go see this guy unless you speak Spanish. He completely panders to Mexicans. That should have me crying.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, Chicago comment.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
You would figure that would be a different state comment. Nah, you can get those in Chicago, too. Yeah, you should have just said, bro, I'm most offended by the fact that you didn't understand that they weren't Mexican.
Rodell Ortiz
Right.
Yannis Pappas
Right now, because I have a full Puerto Rican family. I'm the white leader of a Puerto Rican. A small Puerto Rican. And you have a Puerto Rican alter ego. Is it okay that you're Dominican? Is there beef with us and you.
Rodell Ortiz
Absolutely not.
Yannis Pappas
Okay.
Rodell Ortiz
I was going to say you actually look a lot more handsome in person.
Yannis Pappas
Thank you.
Chris Distefano
I appreciate John Stamos said the same.
Yannis Pappas
People say that, and then it kind of makes sense why my career isn't in a bigger place. Because I don't look good on camera and the thing likes you. No, but you have good on camera in this business.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, but the camera likes you.
Yannis Pappas
But.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, you don't have the traditional diminutive Hollywood look.
Yannis Pappas
What is diminutive mean? Is that a Dominican? Are you trying to say Dominican?
Chris Distefano
No. Yeah, like small. Like, you notice they're all small.
Yannis Pappas
Like. No, they have big. But they have big heads.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, but they're tiny people.
Rodell Ortiz
Yes, the petite.
Chris Distefano
The Hollywood kind of.
Rodell Ortiz
Right.
Chris Distefano
Look kind of like, you know, like even Leonardo DiCaprio.
Yannis Pappas
Tiny guy.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, you look like a big guy. Like, you're like. You go for, like, in Hollywood, you'd be like a bouncer.
Yannis Pappas
James, he was a big boy. He was a sitcom fat guy.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, yeah.
Chris Distefano
He was underdog looking like the high school.
Rodell Ortiz
The jockey.
Yannis Pappas
Well, no, but the problem is a casting director told me this. I've said it on the podcast many times. He said, you. I'm not castable because I have leading man face, best friend body.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
And that was it. And he cast Seinfeld so he knows he was in. Very accurate casting director. And I haven't been casting anything since he told me that in 2006.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, I wonder what the fuck he'd say about me, bro. Because all I've been getting is the fucking. The bodega guy, bro.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah.
Yannis Pappas
But you know what? You take a few bodega guys and that's what it Is.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
They say I have like a villain face.
Yannis Pappas
Interesting. Yeah, I could see that. I mean, but a friendly villain.
Rodell Ortiz
You put some tattoos on me, bro. I do look a little.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could see that. But I also think there's a likability. So you have a softness to your face. It's not. I won't see villain.
Rodell Ortiz
I want to be. I want to be the fucking. The handsome lead role.
Chris Distefano
Well, that.
Rodell Ortiz
I don't know. That's the guy who fucking steals her purse, right? And then they got a fucking chase after me.
Chris Distefano
I don't think that's in mine. In your future, though.
Yannis Pappas
No.
Rodell Ortiz
Really? Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
You're gonna have to create. It's in his future.
Rodell Ortiz
Right.
Yannis Pappas
You have to create your own show to get a role like that.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Sometimes I just wake up, I feel handsome.
Chris Distefano
I think today.
Rodell Ortiz
No, no, no. You look good.
Yannis Pappas
Really? You know what you like about your look today? I think it looks good.
Chris Distefano
Yes.
Rodell Ortiz
So my. This year I didn't let. My mustache is just looking very.
Chris Distefano
I think you look good.
Yannis Pappas
You know what? You know what the problem is with. With Latino guys? Because you do when you let it grow like that?
Rodell Ortiz
It is.
Yannis Pappas
It does look a little Middle Eastern. And it just makes things a little harder for you in and out of the airport. She.
Rodell Ortiz
When I was. When I was younger, I used to have the bare face and a good jawline, but that's what Angela used to say.
Chris Distefano
He used to say he the most in the airport. He felt very Middle Eastern.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Because.
Yannis Pappas
Because it's. It's. I got to be honest, as a. As you know, as obviously the face of an ICE agent in the heart of a TSA agent. I. I would say that I'm probably going to just ask you maybe one. I'm not going to fully take you offline, but I'd like to ask you a follow up of. Can you show me your hotel reservation? Yeah, that's all. Just give me a confirmation.
Rodell Ortiz
I'm not happy with that, bro.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, I know, but you got to just. You know what I mean? I'm sorry. It's what it is. Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Now you grew up in East New York?
Rodell Ortiz
Yes, sir.
Chris Distefano
That's a very.
Yannis Pappas
People who don't know, that is not gentrified, even to this day, though. Not gentrified.
Rodell Ortiz
There's no Starbucks there?
Chris Distefano
No.
Yannis Pappas
What? Where was it, like off the L train? East New York?
Rodell Ortiz
No, I was off the C train. Whoa. The C train, which is not even express. Like. That's. That's a problem. Yeah. Broadway.
Yannis Pappas
They're not Doing that show Subway takes on the Sea Line. No, sir, Kareem is not going over there.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, I tell my. Tell my daughters about the New York City train station. I say, I want you to start learning the Alphabet at F and up. Yes, we can leave the A, C.
Yannis Pappas
The E. That's all out of here.
Chris Distefano
Stay off of those trains.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, we're gonna never been on F train.
Chris Distefano
F train is. S train is a different train.
Yannis Pappas
F train is a different train.
Chris Distefano
You transfer for the F across. C you can get. That goes to Park Slope. And then it goes. It goes to Windsor Terrace.
Yannis Pappas
It goes down Terrace Terrace.
Rodell Ortiz
That's a real playoff in New York.
Chris Distefano
You see that reminds me of the old New York.
Yannis Pappas
That's the way it used to be.
Chris Distefano
Is that you didn't even know another neighbor. Like, I didn't. I had never been to the Bronx before. I went to a Yankee game. And then back when we grew up, it was very neighborhood by neighborhood.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, I never.
Chris Distefano
You never even heard of Windsor Terrace? No. Yeah, sure.
Yannis Pappas
That's what I'm saying. It's. It's. I think we're too connected now as a society. It's better that. It's better that certain people don't know where Windsor Terrace is. And certain people don't know where the Bronx is. It's just better. It's just better. Go in and out. Go to the Yankee games. Stop. Trying to buy a duplex apartment in the South Bronx. Colin, stop it.
Chris Distefano
Is he trying to buy. He's trying to.
Yannis Pappas
No, not Colin. I'm just used the name because I had Colin Quinn in my head. Because Colin Quinn said that it's not the F train. That the L train. After certain stuff gets gentrified, looks like a T lift. Very funny. And another comic stole the joke.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, it's a very funny.
Yannis Pappas
And the other comic McCoy's from the Bronx. Yeah, so.
Chris Distefano
So now you live close to Ozone Park.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, right. I'm right by JFK over there.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, you're right. It's a great area over there.
Chris Distefano
Great. And then Ozone park is very. Still very Italian. Or is it.
Yannis Pappas
Oh, yeah. John Gotti. Well, Ozone park is. You got. It's actually a melting pot.
Rodell Ortiz
I'm in South Ozone Park. So it's like. It's a little. Ozone park is really like Guyanese and.
Yannis Pappas
Yes.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Did you take public transportation here from Ozone park?
Rodell Ortiz
Or you drove?
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, you gotta drive.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So what level of success are you now?
Yannis Pappas
He's not on the bus.
Chris Distefano
You're not on the train.
Yannis Pappas
He's not on the bus.
Rodell Ortiz
No, no, no, no, no.
Yannis Pappas
He's doing too well.
Rodell Ortiz
Even before my success, I quit that.
Yannis Pappas
The bus is tough. You could get on the subway, but taking a bus as a just a man. It's tough.
Rodell Ortiz
No, it's just I'd rather walk.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
I'd rather take back door. When you got to yell back door.
Yannis Pappas
When they. Yeah, no.
Rodell Ortiz
Yes.
Yannis Pappas
The bus is for. The bus is for like younger people. Like if you're a 25 year old man, you shouldn't legally be allowed to get on a bus.
Rodell Ortiz
That's for them. Asshole teenagers.
Yannis Pappas
Yes.
Rodell Ortiz
Coming out of school and get women.
Yannis Pappas
On a bus or get young boys.
Rodell Ortiz
But I don't have my. I won't have my lady on the bus, bro.
Yannis Pappas
But I'm just saying I can understand a woman who wants to take the bus. I get it. But as a grown man, I just can't see a guy on a bus. It's like a guy who doesn't know anything about sports. It's just weird to me. I'm not saying you gotta be an expert, but it's just if I'd like you to stay away from my family, if you don't know about sports or if you take a public bus, I'm just not into you. You know what I mean? I'm just not into what you have. And I just don't want you around my family, that's all.
Chris Distefano
I'm still laughing about the back door. That's funny. It's funny because when you're on the bus, you gotta yell back door. You gotta have the bus driver no y the back door because he tries to leave.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
You try to get off on the back door.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
You gotta scream that and the whole ride you've been trying to look cool.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Serious.
Yannis Pappas
And then it's kind of gay thing to yell back door.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, yeah, back. I know you hear me saying back door. Sometimes they don't open it, bro.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
I don't want to be on any mode of transportation where I know there's a possibility I could be on a dark web video page.
Yannis Pappas
Sure.
Chris Distefano
You know what I mean? Like, because those are always where you see the dark like the bad violence happening. It's some CCTV footage that catches somebody on a bus.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
They try to hijack, knock down the bus driver and he starts shooting. I don't want to be in anything where there needs to be security cameras.
Rodell Ortiz
I've had a couple scary stories on. Really, bro?
Chris Distefano
Tell us what happened.
Rodell Ortiz
Sea train, bro.
Yannis Pappas
The C train. Gets scary.
Rodell Ortiz
The C Train, bro.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
And this was back in like, 03 04. Wow. Real bad gangs, bro. Bloods and the Patrias and Latin Kings. And I remember one time I was on the C train with my girlfriend at the time. That bitch.
Yannis Pappas
Sure.
Rodell Ortiz
She's. Oh, man. And there was these three kids. Well, we was kids also. And one of them was a tall, skinny lesbian lady who had on a durag.
Chris Distefano
Okay.
Rodell Ortiz
And, sir, once you put a durag.
Chris Distefano
On your woman, I think you deserve it, sir. Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
And then she was with two dudes. And I remember I was on my Sidekick lx.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Great phone, old school. And she had a PSP in her hand and she was like, yo, what time is it? And by the way, that's the ultimate. You're about to get robbed.
Chris Distefano
Right, Right.
Rodell Ortiz
What time is it? Right. You know what?
Chris Distefano
I see her asking you that with her watch on.
Rodell Ortiz
Right?
Yannis Pappas
Well, with your watch on.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Before they. Before they actually. Because I seen them over there before they walked up to me, I put it away.
Yannis Pappas
Smart.
Rodell Ortiz
Because I already felt that. What time is it? I'm like, oh, I don't know. I can't tell you. So you sure? How. How do you. How do you talk to your pretty girlfriend? I'm like, oh, man. You know, we just. The Internet and. Yeah. And then we got off on that very next stop. Because I was like, yo, you know, we was in the corner seat. Yeah, that corner seat is. Is dangerous.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Because that's where you could get piled up.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah. Jump.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Smart.
Rodell Ortiz
So I got off right there on the next stop. It wasn't even my stop. I just got off.
Chris Distefano
I know that feeling.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. And she came with you, girl. Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah. And then we got back on the next train, and right when we get to Broadway Junction, you know they have a precinct there. Yeah.
Chris Distefano
In the station.
Rodell Ortiz
Those three was in handcuffs. Wow. Yes.
Yannis Pappas
Because they robbed somebody.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
And one of them was a lesbian in durag.
Rodell Ortiz
Yes.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. You gotta. Yeah, because she.
Yannis Pappas
She's.
Chris Distefano
You gotta be most scared her, because she got the most approved.
Yannis Pappas
And that was 2003.
Rodell Ortiz
2004.
Yannis Pappas
And see, and those are the good old days when those people are still in prison today.
Chris Distefano
This is.
Yannis Pappas
They didn't get right out.
Chris Distefano
This is what I respect about the Broadway Junction shop.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
They have a precinct in there, but most of the crime happens at that stop.
Yannis Pappas
Sure.
Chris Distefano
They love to continue. You can get robbed at the Broadway Junction stop. Right.
Rodell Ortiz
Junction. That shit is there. Yeah.
Chris Distefano
And there's a precinct there, but they don't Care. They will do it right? Yeah, they'll do it right there.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, they'll do it right away. And, you know, and it's one of those things where, like, I think people have to grow up in New York City. Like, you grew up in a New York City where that would happen a lot.
Chris Distefano
It was the whole thing I got in that.
Yannis Pappas
I was right in that time where things were happening, but you would get arrested and do real time if you did some real shit. So there was a little bit of fear in the criminals, but when you were growing up, there was zero fear in the criminals.
Chris Distefano
It was just. It was just a time where there was a good chance you were just going to get jumped. That's what I remember one time I went into the train station, you know, and it was Grand Army Plaza. And we went downstairs. It was me and my friend Zach Zarbo, who's now an NBA ref. He's an NBA ref.
Yannis Pappas
He's gonna ref the finals.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
We walked down the station and it was just. If you went out at a certain time, there was a school, John Jay. And if they were letting out, it was just. We walked down the stairs and it was. You just knew it. There was like, just a pack of kids and you just like. I had a Walkman, and I was just like, this isn't my Walkman anymore. I should have just handed it. That's what you're supposed to do. You just hand it when you. I should have. Looking back, I should have been like, here, see? Because then I wouldn't have got hit.
Yannis Pappas
I remember one guy picked me up.
Chris Distefano
And he dropped me on the floor, and I was really close to the tracks, see?
Yannis Pappas
And what I like about Rodell is he's. Is he's, you can tell, like a nice guy and has that niceness in him where he knew to get off the train and he's like, I'm not going to do those things and engage in that criminal activity. I'm not going to do that. I see that. I want to go another way. I want to become successful. As opposed to Sergio Chacon, our other Latino friend, who would beat up drug dealers with his bare hands just to get a little bit of money, and now is over here on Mushroom saying he's a spiritual leader when I know he used to beat up drug dealers when he was 15 years old. He might have been that skinny lesbian with the durag that tried to rob.
Rodell Ortiz
It might have been him.
Chris Distefano
It might have been him.
Rodell Ortiz
I would. I would. My thing is, I'm always Protective of the women.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
So if I was alone, it would have been different, you know? Or if I was with my friends, it would have been different.
Chris Distefano
If that was. If that was me in that situation, I was with the woman, I would have. I would have looked at her and been like, either she got the message that I'm getting off at the next.
Yannis Pappas
Station or she didn't. The thing is with Giannis, and I'm okay with this, too. Giannis is okay with running and biting.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Giannis is okay in a fight to bite.
Chris Distefano
You got it?
Yannis Pappas
Okay. If he'll bite, he'll bite somebody.
Rodell Ortiz
Oh, I'll bite the fuck out.
Yannis Pappas
I'll get him out of here.
Rodell Ortiz
Chomp out somebody, bro. You got to be able to bite, too.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
That's why I've been taking, you know, Krav Maga, the Israeli street fighting.
Rodell Ortiz
No.
Yannis Pappas
So I've been taking these classes with Krav Maga, and part of it is, it's, you know, martial arts and jiu jitsu and all that is an art form, and it's beautiful. Krav Maga was invented by the Israelis because they're surrounded by their enemies over there, where it's just end the fight. So they're teaching you. Yeah, Grab the nuts, gouge the eyes, bite somebody. This is not about a martial art and gaining points. This is a street fight. Just end it. Just don't even. There's no negotiation. If you get backed into a corner and you can't negotiate with the person, then you end it. They teach you how to disarm people with guns and knives, stab somebody, grab their nuts, bite them. Just move on or change. I kind of like that.
Rodell Ortiz
Can't grab nobody nuts in East New York, bro. That shit.
Yannis Pappas
I mean.
Chris Distefano
Well, I generally don't love prank videos because they make me feel uncomfortable, but the ones that I do like that I think are funny is when the dude goes to, like, a dangerous area, and he. He starts something with the guy, and then he gets naked and the guy runs away.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chris Distefano
It just shows you, like, you can always win if you just. If you try to do something gay to the guy.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, yeah.
Chris Distefano
Guy will just not want to fight you. The toughest guys would be like, what'd you say to me? And then the guy gets naked, and the guy's like, yo, yo, I'm not.
Rodell Ortiz
Fighting nobody with a dick out. No, this is good. It's like a sex crime.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
One time we got robbed one time, a bunch of my friends, we came up to 42nd street, they used to have a bunch of fake. You go get like fake Nikes and shit. Yeah, sure.
Chris Distefano
We used to call them Snikeys.
Rodell Ortiz
Why?
Chris Distefano
Because it's fake Nike. Snikey. Remember that?
Yannis Pappas
Snikey's. I don't remember that.
Chris Distefano
Our generation. Our generation called Snikeys.
Rodell Ortiz
And my friend, he borrowed his older brother's Vansen jacket. And this was the Predator, glow in the dark with the bonnet jacket. It was like. Like $1200. And this was like an 04. And this group of dudes, bro, they walked up, we was on one of them long Manhattan blocks, quiet. And I remember I was the only friend who didn't take no money on this. I had no. I didn't buy nothing. I was just broke as. And it was Halloween time. And the dude pulls out a gun, bro. And my friend has to take off his jacket and give it to them. And I was just like standing on the outskirts. They didn't have me like in the main huddle. I don't know, they like knew. They sensed the poverty on me or what. And then finally the dude says, run your pockets. Yeah. So, bro, the only thing, you know what, I pulled out my pocket, bro. I had some glow in the dark, vampire plastic teeth.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
You remember them?
Yannis Pappas
Of course.
Rodell Ortiz
And the mind you, these are killers, bro. Yeah, he dead ass laughed my face, bro. Yeah, with a gun. But I. I still can't even believe.
Chris Distefano
That he was going like, you're. This is what you have.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, yeah. And he let me keep it.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
He let you keep it.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
There's a lot of good criminals that.
Rodell Ortiz
Had the saliva string on it.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chris Distefano
Some. You know, everything is contextual, right. It's not great to be poor unless you're in a situation where you get robbed. That poverty helps.
Yannis Pappas
That helps a lot.
Chris Distefano
You could save your life.
Rodell Ortiz
Sorry for me, bro.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah, he left. Yeah. Is rough when the guy who's needs money and is robbing you, laughs at you for being poor.
Yannis Pappas
You know, what's the thing? You know what's a thing too, that Latinos do that I want to start doing. A lot of people in my wife's family do it is they go by the middle name. Your real name is Andy. Yeah, first name's Andy. The middle name's Rodell a lot. That's a very Latino thing to go by. The middle name, like if my name was Paul DiStefano.
Chris Distefano
What do you think is your middle name? Paul.
Yannis Pappas
My middle name's Paul.
Chris Distefano
You could be a Paul.
Rodell Ortiz
You could Paulie, you could be a fucking.
Yannis Pappas
Should I change it because I like. Because if I. Your name is Andy Roddell Ortiz. Rodell is better.
Rodell Ortiz
Rodell. I don't even. When I first created Instagram, I just thought it'd be cool because I asked my parents, like, where that name came from. I don't know no fucking Ridels.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, what is it?
Rodell Ortiz
They said it was the ring boy at their wedding. That was his name.
Yannis Pappas
His name was Rodell.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
The black ring bearer.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
What they're telling you in English.
Rodell Ortiz
It sounds black, right? Rodell. Yeah, but in Spanish.
Yannis Pappas
And you know, I'm sure you know, as a Dominican, that the first New York City resident ever Dominican. Do you know that?
Rodell Ortiz
No, I didn't know that.
Yannis Pappas
Fun fact. Yes.
Rodell Ortiz
Who the fuck was that?
Yannis Pappas
Juan. I forgot his last name, but Juan something. If you Google, he was the first New York City resident ever was a Dominican kid. I think his name was Juan Rodriguez. I actually think that was his name.
Chris Distefano
My middle name would not be.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. Juan Rodriguez, a multilingual Afro Latino born in Santo Domingo, was the first non native settler of Manhattan in 1613. Came in on a Dutch ship free as a trader living among the Lenape, which was the Native American tribe that that Manhattan was, you know, lived on by. And then before the Dutch came. So Dominican. So you're a pioneer, my friend.
Rodell Ortiz
You better believe it. A founding padre and bad bunny did this last night. I was gonna come talk Spanish.
Yannis Pappas
This whole podcast, we liked it. We, we in the camp of. We liked it. It was great.
Chris Distefano
I love it. I, I listen if you're not, if you got to go to Miami, Miami is the spot where you get all of the Latin cultures in one city.
Rodell Ortiz
Oh, yeah.
Chris Distefano
And it's just Latin American culture is just fun.
Yannis Pappas
What I think sexy. What I think racist white people would really benefit from is because, you know, I am immersed in Latino culture now. My whole family's Puerto Rican. And majority of. When people, When I say my family, my house is full, it's full of Puerto Rican people that she has a much bigger family. And they're very family oriented, good people. But I think they had a fire.
Chris Distefano
Escape put in on his window.
Yannis Pappas
100%. We live in the country, but we got a fire escape. We got a Donny. We just want to make them feel good. We got. There's a bodega downstairs. Yeah. And so. And so we. So what I think they would know want to know is like the racist white people is the Latinos are just as racist. They racist against some of the most racist things I've ever heard in my life would be my mother in law saying shit. And I'm like, I really wish people knew that we're all fucking alike here. We all hate everybody.
Rodell Ortiz
There's definitely some racist Latinos, bro.
Yannis Pappas
100%. 100%. And I always just find it fascinating where I'm like, no, no, no, no. You gotta understand. And anybody who's mad at the bad bunny thing, I think is just kind of ignorant. Why would you not want to watch hot Latina women dancing around? And for the fellas, a couple of hot guys grinding their bengas on each other. That was all nice to see. I mean, I can't imagine the alternative country western halftime show that they said was any more fun than this. Cause you know, you know, super bowl we football season, we were getting banged up, having a few booze, and I told you I wanted to stop drinking because I was getting hungover, getting depressed. But we found something called Cheers Restore that helps restore you the next day after you have a few brews. Yes.
Chris Distefano
This is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Obviously there are more negative effects from alcohol than just dehydration. We all know that. We've all drunk. You gotta think, how could alcohol be hard on your brain and liver?
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
It has a depressant effect on specific receptors in your brain and it's toxic to your liver. So there's more stuff going on, cuz.
Yannis Pappas
There's more stuff going on. And that's why I like to be restored. Because you're like. Cuz the way I look at you, cuz is you're like, you're. You're. You're an older. You're an older piece. You know what I mean? So you're not to be renovated or to be restored. That's what I thought. That's what I'm gonna do to you. You know, you gotta get your chimney restored. Yeah, I mean, not renovated.
Chris Distefano
This is great. If you're drinking and then the next day you just want to feel good.
Yannis Pappas
Let's just feel good. You wanna go back to normal. I'm telling you, with Cheers, you're gonna feel about 50% better the next day or your money back. Basically, two drinks feel like one the next morning. All you do is take three capsules after your last drink or before bed. Now, this isn't for college binge drinking, okay? If you want to do 12 tequila shots, you're probably gonna feel rough. We're talking about mature, older drinking. But if you're a normal adult responsibly having two, three or four drinks, you're going to feel significantly better with Cheers. That's a guarantee. Yanni, tell them how they could get it.
Chris Distefano
Well, I just want to tell you this has been on Shark Tank and supposedly people really like this thing. I'll tell you right now, I like to have a couple glasses of wine.
Yannis Pappas
Once in a while.
Chris Distefano
I'm trying this shit.
Yannis Pappas
It's just what it is. Because yeah, I like to pitch my ideas to Tank Sinatra and I call it Shark Tank Sinatra.
Chris Distefano
So check this out.
Yannis Pappas
Out.
Chris Distefano
Same night out. Way better. Morning with Cheers. For a limited time, our listeners are getting 20 off their entire order by using the code hyenas@cheershealth.com just head to cheershealth.com and use the code HYENAS for 20 off. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. You know the deal. Please support our show and tell them the history Hyenas sent you there.
Yannis Pappas
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Chris Distefano
Yeah, Factor is great. The foods are great. I love using them because you're on the go. You know, my wife forgot to cook. You just go bang out a delicious factor meal from the freezer. 100 rotating weekly meals to keep things fresh and delicious through the win.
Yannis Pappas
Sometimes you come into the studio looking so cute. I want to put a piece of plastic over you and eat you like a factor meal.
Chris Distefano
You want to save me for later?
Yannis Pappas
I want to save you for later because I want to throw you in the freezer.
Chris Distefano
So they got options like high protein calorie smart Mediterranean diet, GLP1 support and ready to eat salad.
Yannis Pappas
Plus they got the new MusclePro collection which supports strength and recovery. So you can get absolutely jacked. Eating factor.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, the food's good. It's good and it tastes good. Always fresh, never frozen. Ready in about two minutes. No prep, no stress.
Yannis Pappas
That's what it is. And I'm telling you, I use this, you should too. Go to factor meals.com hyenas50off and use the code HYENAS50OFF to get 50% off and free breakfast for a year. I don't know how this company makes money.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
If they're giving you free breakfast for a year. But this is we are reading this accurately.
Chris Distefano
I am joining with this promo code.
Yannis Pappas
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Chris Distefano
Now the old stereotype, remember when we were kids, the old stereotype for some reason was Dominicans don't have socks. And I still don't understand.
Yannis Pappas
No, no, Dominicans wear sandals with socks. Puerto Ricans wear. No. No socks with sandals.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. But the joke was always no sock 100. And I don't know why that don't.
Yannis Pappas
Wear socks but only with sandals.
Rodell Ortiz
I thought.
Yannis Pappas
No, the reverse. I haven't.
Chris Distefano
Now why is that.
Rodell Ortiz
That.
Chris Distefano
Is that the Caribbean culture, like they just don't wear socks?
Yannis Pappas
Is it real?
Rodell Ortiz
100%. It's 100% true. That that was a thing.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
And I used to wear two socks, like just so people didn't.
Yannis Pappas
So you have on socks right now?
Rodell Ortiz
Absolutely.
Chris Distefano
His socks have socks on?
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't. I honestly don't know where it came from, but it, it is.
Chris Distefano
Well, you're saying you knew it came from that they didn't. Yeah, a lot of times it didn't.
Rodell Ortiz
But a lot of older, like Dominicans would not wear socks and just be cool with it. Just raw dogging them.
Yannis Pappas
The shoes probably better for your feet.
Rodell Ortiz
Absolutely not, bro.
Yannis Pappas
You think it's bad for the feet?
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, it's bad, bro. I mean, imagine putting fucking no socks on some Timberland boots, bro. Yeah.
Chris Distefano
You have nothing to absorb the sweat.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Do you think any of the baseball players are playing with no socks?
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, probably. Interesting. Yeah. Juan Soto. 100%.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
You know, and you know, in New York it's Dominicans, Puerto Ricans, you know, that's like the main. And everyone always said they had beef, but I never found that. And I found that Dominicans, at least I used to live on Staten Island. So many Dominicans own businesses. Dominicans are very, very like high up Caribbean nation.
Rodell Ortiz
Not it. Go crazy, bro. Dominicans, definitely. I mean, we got the fucking tax services, everything. Yeah.
Chris Distefano
How about this?
Rodell Ortiz
Bodegas, the barbershops, restaurants for. For.
Yannis Pappas
Dude, one time I was actually very, very funny. It was just. I have a. I have a Dominican friend on Staten Island. Great guy. And we were like in like a barbershop and he. It was. They were watching YouTube and Nick DePaulo came. This is. Everybody in the barbershop is Dominican except me. I'm just a White guy. They're all talking in Spanish. And then I don't know what. It was like, the YouTube. They were playing shit on YouTube. And a clip from Nick DePaolo special came up, and the clip was. I forgot. I'm, like, paraphrasing. But he's like. Nick is like, yeah. He's like. And then there's this Dominican guy in traffic next to me driving a $200,000 car. I'm sure he's a dentist.
Chris Distefano
Oh, I know that.
Yannis Pappas
And no, bro, these guys started fucking dying, laughing. And I was like, oh, that's cool. That was just like. Nobody was like. Because if in a white place, if that was, like, reversed, they'd be like, that. It's not okay. Where Dominican guys were just fucking laughing at it. And I was like, this is easy to be around people like this.
Rodell Ortiz
Bad Dominicans. The. The. If you want to hear some real dark humor, bro, in Spanish, bro. Like, I was. I was telling Marcelo, because I. You seen it? Marcelo shout out. Marcelo. His Netflix shout out. I saw. I saw his. His same set in Spanish right at the stand, and it was like, three times more funny.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, because that's what.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah. The rhythm of it or.
Rodell Ortiz
Oh, yeah. Everything. Everything about it. Punchlines just hit harder in Spanish. And for me, that was great to see. But my thing is, like, it's that mix of English and Spanish.
Yannis Pappas
Sure.
Rodell Ortiz
But Dominicans really get into the dark humor, bro. Yeah, they got some shit that I'll be like, bro, do not say that shit in English. Do not.
Chris Distefano
You know, it was funny when I was a kid, like, you know, obviously, we're exposed to so many cultures, whatever. But I remember when I was real little, you know, I think a Dominican was the first. First. The first time I saw a black person speaking Spanish, right? And I was like, I had to be like, what? And that's how you learn about Dominicans? Well, I think everyone learns about Dominicans going, like, they see a black person speaking Spanish, and they go, hey, what are you. And they go, Dominican.
Yannis Pappas
You're like, oh, well, what's wild about the Dominican Republic? It's the same landmass as Haiti. It's just divided by mountains, right.
Rodell Ortiz
Hispaniola. Hispanolia is called the entire island.
Yannis Pappas
That's like.
Chris Distefano
It's like Cyprus. One side is Turkish.
Yannis Pappas
It's a fascinating history. The Santo Domingo is the oldest continuously inhabited European settlement in the Americas. So 14, 90, 96. It's just the thing is. Is like, doctor, my. My Dominican friend, I mean, he's so business Savvy, like air. I feel like. I feel like New York City. Everyone always thinks about the Puerto Ricans, but the Dominicans are actually the ones.
Rodell Ortiz
We run this shit, brother.
Yannis Pappas
That's what it is. But it's like, I don't know why. Why is then that New York City always think Puerto Ricans are like the ones who are talked about more. What do you think it is?
Chris Distefano
Puerto Rican. There was a lot of Puerto Rican.
Rodell Ortiz
There's a lot, yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Oh, the markets came later.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, they came late. A little later. Well, besides the first guy who came.
Rodell Ortiz
Right, right.
Chris Distefano
But the Puerto Ric. I think there's the most Puerto Ricans outside of Puerto Rico are in New York City, bro.
Yannis Pappas
Let me tell you something. Every time my friend would come back from Dr. He would bring me Lenda.
Rodell Ortiz
Oh, brother. Wow. I love that When I drink that hot out the trunk of a car, bro.
Yannis Pappas
It's a. It's a rum, right?
Rodell Ortiz
Oh, yeah, bro.
Yannis Pappas
You've never had. It's the smoothest rum I've ever had in my life.
Rodell Ortiz
Sweet and savory.
Yannis Pappas
He would bring it to me and I would just be like. I don't even know how to thank. Thank you. It was amazing.
Rodell Ortiz
The first time I had that was in 2021. Yeah. I was on my way to a resort from the hood over there. By the way, when you go, you got to go to both. Go to the resort, but also spend some time in the hood, bro. And the campo, right? Yeah, it's really nice.
Yannis Pappas
Is that safe for the whites?
Rodell Ortiz
Absolutely. Okay. Yeah. I mean, don't, don't. Don't wear that. Yeah. You want to help me? Like, whoops. Don't wear socks, bro.
Chris Distefano
I like the same sentence. He said, yeah, it's safe, but don't wear your jewelry.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chris Distefano
That's a mixed message.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. Don't be white.
Rodell Ortiz
Ye. Yeah, my cousin. I show you my cousin, he looks just like.
Yannis Pappas
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My Dominica. All his family members were white, blonde hair, blue eyes.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, they got it. They got everything over there, bro. So it's not. It's not spooky to. It's not like you will see somebody super white, blonde hair, blue eyes and just talking. Don't know a lick of English and just straight up. So it's not like you're going to be over there and people going to be looking at you, you know, obviously in certain hoods you can't go to. But that's the first time I had LA on the. We like rented a bus to take My whole family over there. I. I don't even remember checking in, booking the excursion, bro. That La Yenda. Damn.
Yannis Pappas
The best.
Chris Distefano
And not allowed, huh?
Rodell Ortiz
I know you was hip to that, bro. I would have brought one.
Yannis Pappas
I know all about it. And since I've moved off Staten Island, I missed my friend. I just want to. I want him to send me some Leander, if you're listening.
Rodell Ortiz
Certain restaurants, they do carry that here.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
We'll talk.
Yannis Pappas
Yo, I know. I mean, honestly, I mean, the food. I love Dominican food. I'm big into the Dominican culture. I just can't tell the wife that she's Puerto Rican. But I'm also big into the Dominican porn.
Rodell Ortiz
Oh, really?
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
You dirty girl.
Yannis Pappas
I like that. I just like. It's more accessible.
Rodell Ortiz
It's Monday, bro.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, but you put on. You just put in Dominican asses on pornhub, and you have a good time. Little Leanda and dominican asses on Pornhub. And it's weepy and E2.
Chris Distefano
Did you know that Dominicans, I think, now make up the majority of the nypd?
Rodell Ortiz
Oh, there's a lot.
Yannis Pappas
There you go. Oh, my God.
Rodell Ortiz
Dominican cops. And I just look up.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. And I just see my cousin over here, broody.
Chris Distefano
Follow it on Instagram.
Yannis Pappas
That's what it is. Giannis. Giannis will take a screenshot of that, draw some dick and balls on the back, and be good to go. Giannis likes to see a little hanging from the back.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, that, bro. That literally looked like three of my cousins, bro.
Yannis Pappas
I gotta be honest with you. It's so. So overwhelming for me that it actually wouldn't even make me horny. I'd actually just walk away because I actually would just. I don't act. It's an overdrive. You know what I mean?
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Too much. Yeah, it's. It. It shot me off.
Chris Distefano
It's really something.
Yannis Pappas
Like, I actually. I. I think because I did.
Chris Distefano
Ah, it is. It is nice.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah. Take this over.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, Yeah.
Chris Distefano
I mean, that is. Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Giannis's glasses are fogging up.
Rodell Ortiz
I remember when I first went to doctor, I was like. Like, as an adult, you know?
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
And I was like, 19. And, you know, the women over there, they were. If you got money, they. You know, they gonna be on you. Sure.
Yannis Pappas
That's why I'm not allowed to go.
Rodell Ortiz
Exactly. No, you over there, Come on.
Yannis Pappas
No, I fucking.
Chris Distefano
You would clean up, right?
Yannis Pappas
I tried to. You know, the amount of times I've tried to just suggest to my family, like, oh, I'll do a show there. She's like, you're not going on to ever. You're not even flying over it. I can't leave the continental United States. I'm not allowed to.
Chris Distefano
You're. You're on house arrest.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. No.
Rodell Ortiz
The first time, the one of them girls was. They was like, so into me that I just flaccid the whole time.
Yannis Pappas
That's what I'm saying.
Rodell Ortiz
I couldn't because it was like, bro.
Yannis Pappas
It. Sometimes the women, they look like that. That my brain can't compute it, and it just. I have nothing.
Chris Distefano
Is it intimidating? Because it's just too intimidating.
Rodell Ortiz
It was just like, you look really, really good and I know how I look. You feel me?
Yannis Pappas
Sure.
Rodell Ortiz
And it's like, I just. I just felt like something was up.
Yannis Pappas
Ah, that's what it was. Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Okay.
Chris Distefano
That's New York spidey sense.
Rodell Ortiz
I was too scared, bro. My dick was scared.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah. Knew you might get robbed before you. Your dick was. His dick was. Your dick is more street smart than you are.
Rodell Ortiz
Exactly, bro. Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Dick was spooked out.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah, dude. I mean, it's. Now, who represents Dominican comedy other than better than you? Who. Who was with the other Dominican comics?
Rodell Ortiz
I mean, right now, bro, you talk about fucking big stage. You got to talk about Marcelo Hernandez.
Yannis Pappas
He's Dominican.
Chris Distefano
Oh, no, he's half. Got some.
Yannis Pappas
Oh, I realized he was Dominican. I thought he was just Cuban from Miami.
Rodell Ortiz
Nah, he's half Dominican. Dominican.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. I love Marcelo.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great, Great kid. He actually. He had me come do some Spanish stand up.
Yannis Pappas
Good.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah. At the stand.
Yannis Pappas
Marcel, first time. Marcelo is one of those guys, like, from snl. Like, he's obviously a star already, but, like, he's the one that, like, you don't have to debate it. You're like, okay, if this kid goes.
Rodell Ortiz
Oh, yeah, he's out of here.
Yannis Pappas
Movie star.
Rodell Ortiz
Obviously, he's out of here.
Yannis Pappas
He's like a. He's like one of those guys. Like, it used to be everybody on SNL was a guy like him. Like the Will Ferrells and the. All the. And everybody was the right cast. And now it's like they pick a lot of people and it's like, some are good, some are like, what is this person even doing? But Marcelo was right. Almost like an old school pick. Like, oh, he would have been on the cast in the 90s, you know?
Chris Distefano
Look at. They got. They got their own scene down there, too. Look at this. Who's Mario Moreno?
Rodell Ortiz
Canteen Flies. Yeah, bro, that's some definite. Some bangers over Here.
Yannis Pappas
Doesn't Moreno mean black guy? Mario, the black guy.
Rodell Ortiz
Moreno. Moreno is definitely means dark skin. Yeah, but that's definitely a last name over there.
Chris Distefano
Tin Tan is a Chinese guy.
Rodell Ortiz
Ding dang.
Chris Distefano
Herman Valdez. See, this is Mexican cinema.
Yannis Pappas
But, but, but, but this is what I'm saying. We were having this debate before about how so many people are. Were mad at the bad Bunny super bowl. And it's like we live it. People are thinking that we're living 30 years ago. It's like, brother, bro, here's an option for everybody. Literally anything you don't like, there's no reason to comment that you don't like it because you can just find what you like immediately.
Rodell Ortiz
Right?
Yannis Pappas
That's what the Internet is. So like, even this like, we have like this whole like Latino comedy scene that we don't. Besides Marcelo. Oh, and of course the kid Miro. I don't know these other people, bro.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, Shout out Kid Mero.
Yannis Pappas
Shout him out.
Rodell Ortiz
Hot 97.
Yannis Pappas
Oh, is he. Yeah, one of the like everyday guys club. Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Not the Breakfast Club, but what is it? He got mornings with Merrill.
Yannis Pappas
Well, mornings with Merrill.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
What did you do? What? Who was it? Used to be, isn't it? Oh, Nessa's in the afternoon, I think it was.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, it was Ebro.
Yannis Pappas
Ebro. So he. He took. Yeah. Spot.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, that was him for him.
Chris Distefano
Congrats to the kid Mirror Danielle Perez. Who's that?
Yannis Pappas
I don't know.
Rodell Ortiz
Daniel Perez. Dominican Perez. I feel like I've heard of.
Chris Distefano
Dominicans are coming, bro.
Rodell Ortiz
There's a lot, bro. Especially the New York scene, bro. I Gotta shout out Tommy 5K. He's one of the people who actually put me on. On see a runner to doing stand up.
Yannis Pappas
Okay.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, it was because 5Ks. Oh, that's why you said that.
Yannis Pappas
I just want to did it for Nick.
Rodell Ortiz
He's definitely not a runner. Bro is another one. He's another Dominican comedian. I had him try to say that one.
Yannis Pappas
Excuse me.
Rodell Ortiz
Nobody, Nobody New York and Spanish.
Chris Distefano
But the way it just when you speak Spanish, like I would say Nueva Yorke. N York. Nah, Spanish.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah. You know. What? Yeah, dude. So, so wait, so you're on tour now then?
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Stand up tour? Yeah, all over the country.
Rodell Ortiz
Yep. Yeah, we actually going to the west coast next week on the 17th.
Yannis Pappas
Sweet. Where? Where at what dates?
Rodell Ortiz
Doing Irvine Improv.
Yannis Pappas
Right.
Rodell Ortiz
We're doing Hollywood Improv.
Yannis Pappas
Right.
Rodell Ortiz
We're doing San Jose.
Yannis Pappas
San Jose's. Yeah. Okay, There you go.
Rodell Ortiz
Look at that. Ontario.
Chris Distefano
Ontario.
Rodell Ortiz
Somebody bought tickets for Canada.
Chris Distefano
But it's in there.
Rodell Ortiz
I know, but yeah, yeah, I was.
Yannis Pappas
Like, bro, get a San Jose improv. Do not go to the bar across the street. Somebody gets shot at that bar, like, every six months.
Rodell Ortiz
Come on, bro. I'm Bill for that. Tempe, Arizona, bro. That's a real place.
Yannis Pappas
Tempe is beautiful. Yeah, be careful at Tempe because it's right by Arizona State University, and they have. They're like the number one party sex school with the hottest cheerleaders ever. So just. Just be careful in Tempe.
Rodell Ortiz
Okay.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, because it gets wild out there. Brookfield, Wisconsin, first time ever there. I mean, Zany's Comedy Club in Rosemont. I mean, that. That's gonna be great.
Chris Distefano
I actually like the Rosemont better than the Chicago downtown. Yeah, Rosemont's great.
Rodell Ortiz
Downtown, Old Town. There's two.
Chris Distefano
There's two Zanies. One in Chicago, one in Rome.
Yannis Pappas
You're playing the bigger one, so you're going. You're go.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, I'm excited for that.
Chris Distefano
Albany, dc. Common Love. Yeah, go, go. Check him out on tour.
Yannis Pappas
What's the site? Where can people see you?
Rodell Ortiz
RodneyTiz.com.
Yannis Pappas
And it. Yeah, this is gonna. This. This is great. Punchline. Dallas. I've never been to, but.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, me neither. I haven't been to a lot of. I did the Comedy Loft in dc. That one is. Hell yeah. I like that one. Hell yeah. That felt like grid.
Yannis Pappas
When did you start Stand Up?
Rodell Ortiz
I started stand up in 2004.
Yannis Pappas
Oh, shit. You've been doing this forever.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking washed.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, but you didn't stop since 2014. But doing it consecutively, actually, last.
Rodell Ortiz
Last year. So in 2024, we. I started. We did 60 shows.
Yannis Pappas
In 2024.
Rodell Ortiz
In 2024. And then we ended it in 2025 at the United Palace. My first theater show. And that was. Was 30.
Chris Distefano
Where was that?
Rodell Ortiz
Washington Heights.
Chris Distefano
Oh, Washington Heights.
Yannis Pappas
Oh, sick.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Hometown show.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, we blew the doors off that, bro. 3,333 seats, one night only.
Yannis Pappas
See United Palace. That's great.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah. And then after that, I was like, it's over. I'm out of here. Right?
Yannis Pappas
It felt like off on a high.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, it felt like the moment where I'm like, this is it.
Chris Distefano
And then your agent called and said, all right, we're going to Albany, we're going to Dallas, we're going to Rosemont, we're going to Washington.
Rodell Ortiz
Right after that, my grandma died.
Yannis Pappas
Shit.
Chris Distefano
And you had to pay for the funeral.
Rodell Ortiz
I had to do that. But then Also, I was just like. And also before that, during. During my 2024 run, my father passed away. So it was like my father passed away, then my grandma, and then I was just. Bro, I was just miserable. I didn't want to. Because even. Even the week after, the weekend after my father's funeral, I had to fly back from Dr. And do five shows in Providence, in Boston. And I was just. I was like, God, I don't know how I'm supposed to go up there and tell jokes right now, because I feel miserable.
Yannis Pappas
Right.
Chris Distefano
I've been there.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
That's crazy.
Rodell Ortiz
It's a.
Chris Distefano
It's crazy.
Rodell Ortiz
It's such a fucking. It's a feeling that not many people have to experience because they can.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
You know, they could take a leave off work or even if their job is not to be happy.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. Pretend to be, like, I'm here to make you. To cheer you up. But who's gonna cheer me up?
Rodell Ortiz
Right?
Chris Distefano
Yeah. Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
It was. It was. It was definitely tough. But then after. After that, bro, my grandma passed away. I was just miserable. Sad. Mental health. Depression.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Bo.
Chris Distefano
Grieving.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Time to grieve.
Yannis Pappas
Grieving.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah. All of that, bro, it's just like. And then the whole 2025, I was just. I felt like I was just out of it. Like, checked out.
Yannis Pappas
You barely were doing stand up even.
Rodell Ortiz
No, not at all.
Yannis Pappas
Zero.
Rodell Ortiz
Not at all. After the. After the big show, I didn't do none until the very, like, in September. I went back up.
Yannis Pappas
But from 2004 to 2024, you were doing it every night or on the weekend, like you.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, yeah.
Yannis Pappas
You were immersed in it.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, we was. I was definitely very active. I had a whole.
Chris Distefano
You know, America doesn't give you much time to grieve.
Rodell Ortiz
Oh, no, no.
Chris Distefano
Like, other cultures, you know, like my mom said, like, on the island, when her grandparents died, her grandmother, my great grandfather died. He was 110.
Yannis Pappas
Wow.
Chris Distefano
My great grandmother, my mom's grandmother, this is the island of Crete, would wail every day that he died so young.
Yannis Pappas
At 110.
Chris Distefano
She was like, man, he left so young. And she was, like, miserable and wore black for, like, two years.
Rodell Ortiz
Oh, yeah.
Chris Distefano
In America, it's like, you gotta get back to work. You gotta. They don't give you any time to process your grief.
Rodell Ortiz
No. Dominicans are like that too, bro. We take death terribly.
Yannis Pappas
I mean, we do the.
Rodell Ortiz
I mean, you know what? We've Super Catholic. Sure. So they'll do the two weeks of prayer afterwards. So it's like sometimes I do I am envious of some of the people who will throw a party for, like.
Yannis Pappas
Their love, celebrate the life.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah. With music and shit. Right afterwards. Just.
Yannis Pappas
It's over.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
It's funny how different cultures greet well.
Yannis Pappas
Because I gotta be honest with you, Like, I think it's Puerto Ricans, too. Like, again, that's what I have the kind of knowledge of now. And, you know, when my wife's grandmother died, she was older. She battled a disease for a very long time. Again, celebration life. I obviously knew, understood people would be upset, but I thought this lady lived a great life. The way every family member, when they walked into that funeral home and saw in the casket, every single one of them fell down. That I thought, there's somebody with a sniper rifle shooting people from the back of the room. I didn't understand what's happening. So why is everyone falling down, rolling on the floor, and they're like, because Abuelita died. I said she was dying for the last eight years. She's about 98 years old. What's going on? I mean, people were on the floor. I actually asked Jazz, should I put a mat down, down? What do I do here? Because people are falling. Someone's gonna break their arm. She said, it's just, you gotta let them grieve. I see. But people are throwing. They're like, screaming, flexing themselves. Yes. They're hysterical, crying on the floor.
Chris Distefano
And you're German, and you're looking and going, what is the big deal?
Yannis Pappas
I said, I don't know. I said, when are we going to eat? That's what this is for. But I literally. And Jazz actually had to tell me to stop laughing because I couldn't control it. Because. Because after the 8th, you have to understand, coming from the white community, where, again, we're just a little bit more cold and about it, and it's like, you.
Chris Distefano
Specifically German.
Yannis Pappas
Specifically German. You close the casket, you go to eat, and then you move on. But, you know, sometimes you close the.
Chris Distefano
Oven and you move on, and you move on.
Yannis Pappas
But after seeing the eighth or ninth person hit the deck in 20 minutes, you can't help but just giggle a little bit. I just didn't know what was doing, what people were doing, really. I couldn't help but giggle. I couldn't help but giggle a little bit.
Rodell Ortiz
And then not be dramatic, bro.
Yannis Pappas
Dramatic. Again, celebrate. I love it. Not making fun of it, but to me, it was a shocker. Cause people were just, you know, were falling face first into the chairs. Cuz let me tell you something.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
This Weekend I went to Vegas, right. And Josephine, my Siberian husky, ate a sock.
Chris Distefano
Oh no.
Yannis Pappas
And we had to take. They had to take her to the ER because they said it could ball up and, you know, block her and test it. So we took her to the ER and thank goodness we had the ASPCA pet health insurance to help us through that.
Chris Distefano
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Yannis Pappas
A tree. I like a treat.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. A little treat for you while you're doing something great for your pet.
Yannis Pappas
I mean, because it's been around for 20 years and it's covered nearly 1 million pets in that time. You can tell the plan to fit your budget, your lifestyle and your pet's particular quirks. And my pet's particular quirky. She likes to eat my socks.
Chris Distefano
Yes. You gotta have some pet insurance.
Yannis Pappas
Do dogs do that? Do they just eat socks?
Chris Distefano
Puppies do stupid stuff.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. I mean really, you gotta be pretty dumb to eat a sock.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah. I mean they' not listen. It's not a brain surgeon. Yeah, yeah.
Yannis Pappas
But I do love my dog.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, it's a German kid. Sometimes they go a little while she's.
Yannis Pappas
A German Siberian kid.
Chris Distefano
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Yannis Pappas
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Chris Distefano
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Yannis Pappas
I love Rocket Money too. I mean I had ridiculous subscriptions going on. I had multiple subscriptions. Rocket Money. I put in my information. They showed me real quick how many times I was paying double how much I was paying over all these, you know, hidden fees. And they helped me and saved me a lot of money. I can't recommend Rocket Money Money enough.
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Yannis Pappas
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Rodell Ortiz
No, they'll do that. And. And back then, if it was worse, like, in the Campo, I remember my mom told me, like, when her, when her great grandfather died, that her grandmother, like, they would literally lose their mind, bro.
Yannis Pappas
Sure.
Rodell Ortiz
Like, they'll be, like, biting the couch and, like, just.
Chris Distefano
Right.
Rodell Ortiz
Like, literally, like, hysterically done. And even when my grandfather died, I had to physically remove my mom from the funeral.
Yannis Pappas
I get it.
Rodell Ortiz
Like, I had to take her out of there because she was fainting. Right. Like, you've seen it. If you've seen them, they'll throw themselves. They all control of their bodies. Like, I feel like Latinos, especially, like, I feel like we don't really. We don't talk a. We don't. We're not accepting of death. Like, a lot of other people are.
Yannis Pappas
Right.
Rodell Ortiz
Like, we just. Yeah. You know, we pray. Everybody's going to be in heaven with Celia Cruz and all people. But it's like, when it actually happens, they just lose their bro. And I've. I've been to too many funerals, so. Sure, I know. And. And for me, like, I'm the man of the house. I got to be strong and I got to be there for everybody.
Yannis Pappas
Right.
Rodell Ortiz
And then I got to go home and cry and, you know, in the privacy.
Yannis Pappas
You have wife, kids on all that?
Rodell Ortiz
I have a girlfriend.
Yannis Pappas
No kids.
Rodell Ortiz
Yep.
Yannis Pappas
Nice.
Rodell Ortiz
Nice.
Yannis Pappas
Well, I mean, I mean, it's a different life. I love kids.
Rodell Ortiz
I do want kids, bro.
Yannis Pappas
I do, right?
Rodell Ortiz
I have. I've been with my girl for 10 years. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Does she want kids?
Rodell Ortiz
She. She doesn't mind.
Chris Distefano
So.
Yannis Pappas
Is she also Dominican?
Rodell Ortiz
She's a Puerto Rican lady. Whoa.
Chris Distefano
She's a Puerto Rican lady?
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
She's 10 years Puerto Rican, Dominican. No kids. It's interesting.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, right?
Chris Distefano
I didn't know that was possible.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, man. Let me tell you something, bro. This is thing I, I, I learned when I was probably, like, 16. This pulling out thing, you guys know.
Yannis Pappas
Dude, I did it. I've done it.
Chris Distefano
I got great pull out. Yeah. I'm. I'm good at it.
Rodell Ortiz
You got three. You're not good at it then. Unless.
Yannis Pappas
No, I'm. I'm pulling fully out.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Nah, I'm telling you, dude, Puerto Rican women are fertile.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. I'm pulling fully out. He's pulling fully out.
Rodell Ortiz
There's no way, bro.
Yannis Pappas
Every. All my kids are from precom.
Rodell Ortiz
Really? My boy got some Viking.
Chris Distefano
He's got German precom. So it's like. It's going to be a German person. So. Yeah, they don'. Dribble out. They shoot out into formation.
Yannis Pappas
We keep going. Something. Yes, something in my sperm. They just see the womb is France.
Chris Distefano
And they're like, take it.
Yannis Pappas
They just see it.
Chris Distefano
They see.
Yannis Pappas
They look ahead and. And I guess the eggs do look like little yarmulkers. So they just go dive right into them and then they. And then they fertilize it and I think it's just. Yeah, yeah. So you.
Rodell Ortiz
You Italian or German?
Yannis Pappas
So I'm my. I'm Italian and German. But when I did the ancestry dot com, it's mostly German. I am actually mostly. Oh yeah, I am mostly white as walk.
Rodell Ortiz
I just started watching the Sopranos for the first time ever, bro. Last.
Yannis Pappas
What do you think of it?
Rodell Ortiz
Man, I love this.
Yannis Pappas
It's a great show.
Chris Distefano
Great show.
Rodell Ortiz
I'm on season two, episode ten or some shit.
Yannis Pappas
Sure. It's a fantastic show.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, man. I just miss those kinds of shows, bro. It's like slow paced but like, just rich. Like also, you also have a whole script. Right. It could be the most boring scenario that's going on and it's still so entertaining.
Yannis Pappas
I think people miss those kind of guys. You missed that? Yeah, kind of people. Yeah, the criminals. You kind of just miss it a little bit. You miss everybody having to be proper.
Rodell Ortiz
All right.
Yannis Pappas
You miss everybody having to be politically correct. You like a guy who's just going to tell you how it is once in a while. I'm not saying everybody.
Chris Distefano
They're still there. They're just not.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, but you gotta. It's just you gotta. You gotta throw them in a little bit more. I think people feel a little calmer. Wouldn't you feel a little calmer if you knew the mafia was running your neighborhood?
Chris Distefano
They did keep the neighborhood safe. I mean, the irony is they did. The only problem is you, if you had a business, you'd have to. You'd have to give a cutaway.
Yannis Pappas
Just like.
Chris Distefano
But then, but then, especially now, you're going like, I know the agent's necessary, but is the manager also necessary?
Rodell Ortiz
The manager.
Yannis Pappas
Manager.
Rodell Ortiz
There you go.
Chris Distefano
You had to give another tempo.
Yannis Pappas
Give him a cut.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah.
Yannis Pappas
It's just nice. It's nice to know.
Chris Distefano
Very similar.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, very similar. You know, you missed the old world a little bit.
Chris Distefano
Now, did you grow up big baseball?
Yannis Pappas
Big baseball.
Rodell Ortiz
My father was a big baseball fan and he put me. He was a big Red Sox fan. Interesting.
Chris Distefano
Because I think Dominicans are probably the.
Yannis Pappas
Biggest baseball coach and the best baseball player coach. I think they're number one.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, he was.
Rodell Ortiz
I mean, and I, I, I couldn't get into a Boston bra because became a Yankees fan.
Yannis Pappas
Okay. He hated that.
Chris Distefano
How did he become a Red Sox.
Yannis Pappas
Fan in New York, man?
Rodell Ortiz
Dominicans love Boston Red Sox, bro. It's just a thing even.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Why is that?
Yannis Pappas
Like, not because of that years before, Manny was also.
Rodell Ortiz
No, that was the Manny era, by the way. This was the David Ortiz Manny era. That my pops put me onto baseball. But a lot of Dominicans in New York, bro, are Boston fans, which I think is atrocious. You can't.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, you can't be that.
Rodell Ortiz
Shout out Boston. You feel me? I love y', all, but you can't be a Boston fan, bro. So I was a Yankees fan. And then 09 World Series. I cut school to go. Yeah, yeah. I played greatest.
Chris Distefano
I played as kids.
Yannis Pappas
What do you mean?
Rodell Ortiz
In baseball?
Chris Distefano
He played for Bonnie's. Yeah, in baseball.
Yannis Pappas
What's wild about Manny Ramirez is he was. He was like, in New York, but never learned English.
Chris Distefano
I know.
Yannis Pappas
Isn't that wild?
Chris Distefano
Washington Heights.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, that's what you. In Washington Heights. You can get by with that. You don't get by not knowing a life 100. Not have to speak English just like in Flushing, Queens. You don't have to. You can just speak Chinese serious. You can have a full life, bro.
Rodell Ortiz
No, his stats is too good, bro. English, dude.
Chris Distefano
When and when you go to Doral, like, outside Miami, like, a lot of people do not speak English at all. They call a little Venezuela. I mean, it's just. You go in there and you're like, can I get two waters? And they're like, like, it's just. They don't speak.
Rodell Ortiz
You go to the drive thru. I think I seen something like that. This lady went to. She, like, got off the highway and went to a random Taco Bell. And the ladies did not in Florida. In Florida. Wow.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
She was like. And the lady started talking in English and she was like, speaker. No speaker today. And she was pissed, bro. Like, she recorded it and it was everywhere.
Yannis Pappas
Oh, my God.
Chris Distefano
Do you. Do you like my performing in Miami? Do you do.
Rodell Ortiz
Oh, man, we this like 1700 people over there just now.
Chris Distefano
Nice.
Rodell Ortiz
At the improv. And just that audience there, bro.
Chris Distefano
And mind you have a party, they.
Yannis Pappas
Come for you support.
Chris Distefano
They don't come for a big support.
Yannis Pappas
Stand up.
Chris Distefano
They come for a party.
Rodell Ortiz
I think we. I think, I think. I don't Know if I'm talking shit here, but I think we broke the liquor record that weekend.
Yannis Pappas
I believe it.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah. Because again, bro, the people that come to my shows aren't people that come to stand up comedy shows.
Yannis Pappas
Right?
Rodell Ortiz
Right. This is a whole new night outfit. And these and my people, bro, we're used to going to the club and spending 3, $3,000 on bottles. So if they're there, they're like, okay, we're at the club.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, Right.
Rodell Ortiz
They don't. They don't buy drinks, bro. No. How much is the bottle? You know what I mean? Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
So the question I have is you broke the liquor record, but what would the waitresses say? They were tipped or not tipped. Fuck you. What would the waitress say about the tipping record? Was that broke?
Chris Distefano
What was that?
Yannis Pappas
Look, man, did somebody get five bucks on a $900 bill?
Rodell Ortiz
You know what it is, though?
Chris Distefano
All right?
Rodell Ortiz
Look, in Dr. There's no tipping culture over there, OK? There's no tipping. Like, if you leave 20% on the. I remember I was with my family and I was leaving them 20%, and they literally look at you like, are you fucking dumb? Like, what the hell you think you're doing? Like, give me that. They feel insulted right away. If I'm family.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, I could see that. I could see that coming. Where Like a tip. People like, you know, I was just in Vegas and I tried to tip the general manager of the club, and he got a little insulted. He was like, what, do you think I need this? I was like, no, I just thought it was the right thing to do. I think some people feel that way. I get it.
Rodell Ortiz
I do got to start shouting out the tip. The.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, I think I did shout out the staff. You know, listen, we all have to tell our audiences certain things. Yeah. I think. You know what I mean? You tell your audience, hey, don't forget to.
Chris Distefano
Don't forget the Wade staff. They work here.
Yannis Pappas
They work here.
Chris Distefano
You know, they don't get paid a salary.
Yannis Pappas
That's what it is. Yeah.
Chris Distefano
I have to say, I think Hispanic, Puerto Rican, Dominican audiences are the funnest. I think if I look back, the most fun I've had doing comedy is doing those more recent shows.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Because.
Yannis Pappas
Because the energy. The energy's crazy because they actually let loose. I know being a white person, having a white family. And I know it's even illuminated even more because, you know, my wife's Puerto Rican. It's like I have a very boring cold stiff. That's the culture. It's like, we don't get excited where my wife's having fun every day. I don't know how you people sit there on fucking Christmas and don't drink and get escorted out of here by an ambulance. Like, it's Jesus's birthday.
Chris Distefano
They dress up. I mean, they look, yeah, I mean, it's like beautiful to night out the women. Just like, it's just, it's just the best.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Let me ask you this. As you're, as, you know, you're a big, you know, Dominican comic representative, Dominican community. Us as white guys, as white comics. I think that, you know, I'm always talking about my Puerto Rican wife. Giannis dresses up as a Puerto Rican transgender person. I think we are accepted by the Latino community as white as white guys that they fuck with. Yeah, we're whites. We're, we're, we're whites that are. Okay. We're good whites. Whites to them. We're good whites. We're good whites. I think to the Latino comedy community.
Rodell Ortiz
I'm speaking for them.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
I elect you because I think we're good whites.
Chris Distefano
They definitely with us.
Yannis Pappas
I don't think that, I don't think the Latino community has a problem with us.
Chris Distefano
They didn't with us. My ticket sales said they.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, I've noticed. I, I, it's so funny you say that, dude. It's so funny because I, I was in. Where the fuck was I? Somewhere. Oh, randomly. Charleston, South Carolina. I don't know why. I was at the Riviera, something down there, theater or whatever. And the guy who was there had booked a couple of my shows. Live Nation guy. He had been to whatever, eight or nine of my shows. He goes, you know, Chris, I gotta be honest, he goes, every city we do with you, you bring out the Latinos and the gays, they always just come out. So do I, The Latinos and the gays. He was like, I don't know what it is. He's like, you got Latino women coming out and then gay, gay guys. And I'm like, have the same audience. Yeah, yeah. But the Latinos and the gays, that's big. That's how you sell tickets. You want, you want groups. You know, a little trick here is you really want groups of women to with you because they go out in groups. Like, guys are like, get, they're like, I, I, I, I'm not, I'm not a homo. Where women you want. Because a girl will come out with 12 of her girlfriends, and that's what, what you want.
Rodell Ortiz
I, I, the, the only white people I Do get at my show. Is the husband of that smoking right gringo? Yeah.
Chris Distefano
I. Sergio was these hot Latinas. Because white guys get in there. I can't take these Latinas.
Yannis Pappas
J. Latinas, yeah, they love me.
Rodell Ortiz
Like, there'd be like six white people in my audience, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. The white people gotta. They gotta. They gotta come with me over there. Right.
Yannis Pappas
I feel like it's more acceptable too for the Latino women to be with the white guys. But if black girls with a white guy, the black community gets upset at that to like stop taking the women.
Chris Distefano
I think not anymore.
Yannis Pappas
But I still don't think it's. I think it's a little bit more frowned upon. I think Latinos, it's more. Okay.
Rodell Ortiz
Oh, 100%, bro. Yeah, they don't.
Chris Distefano
But I think it's not like it used to. I think, like. I mean, Dirk Nowinsky's got a black. Nobody cares anymore, you know, probably not.
Rodell Ortiz
As much back then. It was. It was.
Chris Distefano
Back then it was like a thing.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
It's like we're coming together.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
People.
Chris Distefano
Don't you. You know what's interesting? You see lot in Virginia. I see. Whenever I go to Virginia, I always see a lot of interracial couples. I don't know what it is about Virginia, but you'll see a white guy with a black woman. The most I've seen is in Virginia for.
Rodell Ortiz
That's the real America over there.
Yannis Pappas
That's right on the. You're right on the one on the border of north and South.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
I had a show in Richmond, Virginia, at the. You guys know it?
Yannis Pappas
I know Richmond. State capital. The Richmond Sandman.
Chris Distefano
Sand.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Or the Richmond Funny or. Or the theater. Theater there. There's a Richmond Funny.
Rodell Ortiz
Bone. Bones.
Chris Distefano
I did the sand, whatever it's called.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Some.
Rodell Ortiz
I think that was the most non Latino audience I've had.
Yannis Pappas
Whites or blacks? Both. Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, it was both.
Chris Distefano
So did you do all English there?
Yannis Pappas
So.
Rodell Ortiz
So this is. Again, I'm. I'm like learning, you know. So, like the first time I ever bombed Broadway comedy club, like 11:45pm on a Monday night or some one of them weeks.
Yannis Pappas
Those are tough.
Rodell Ortiz
Full of. Just tourists. Really. Like. Sure. Even. And I went up there, started. This was like right when I first. First started doing stand up. I went up there talking about mofongo and. Yeah. All kinds of Spanish food. And it was just like. They're like. Huh.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. They're from Switzerland.
Rodell Ortiz
Right.
Chris Distefano
It's like what I did Maurice at the. At the Schomburg Improv.
Yannis Pappas
For the Greeks. Right.
Chris Distefano
And I didn't know it was all Greek, because I actually had a Greek character, too that was popular. And I would do both. I started to do both. And I went out there, and when Mauricio would come out, the place would go nuts. And we played the song, and it was just. You hear it echoing. You know, the improv there is just kind of.
Rodell Ortiz
And it's dark.
Chris Distefano
It's dark. And then I came out, and it was nobody. They didn't even know what was Who. What was going on. Like, they didn't even know her. But your shows, the Internet, it's like the Greeks knew Panos. They had no. They didn't know what the.
Yannis Pappas
Was going. Did you just do it?
Chris Distefano
We did five minutes.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
I moved the microphone like this. I told Angelo, I said, she shout, rest in peace. I said, let's wrap it up like that.
Yannis Pappas
And then you.
Chris Distefano
And then bombing in the dress. It's different.
Yannis Pappas
It's different, right? And you had the chunk.
Chris Distefano
When you bomb in an outfit, it's different.
Rodell Ortiz
It's.
Chris Distefano
It's more humiliate. You're putting effort.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. That's when you take that wig off, it's a little sweaty. Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Wow. Different. Totally different experience.
Yannis Pappas
Yo, so in February, we got San Jose Improv. Where else in February? Scroll up a little bit. San Jose is coming up. Okay. We got a lot of dates from my man, right down. February, Irvine, California, on the 18th, 19th, Ontario, 22nd, Tempe. 23rd, La. 25th, San Jose. So February, if you can do anything for Black History Month, support our Dominican friend Rodell Ortiz.
Chris Distefano
I got one question I saw on your Instagram you were at, like, a concert with. She's so hot.
Rodell Ortiz
What's her name?
Chris Distefano
Ana Armaz or.
Rodell Ortiz
Oh, another gorgeous. Good.
Yannis Pappas
Isn't that Ben Affleck's ex?
Chris Distefano
Might have been together.
Rodell Ortiz
That was at. That was at. Actually at. In. At the Casita and Bad Bunny's residency in Puerto Rico.
Chris Distefano
Oh, how is she? How does she look in person?
Rodell Ortiz
Beautiful. I get to the airport, right? And I see Ana de Armas there, and she's like. I mean, there's. There's very few people that you see that literally just like, she's stunning. No? Yeah, yeah. Different kind of woman. Yeah. Not as much as my girlfriend, you know.
Chris Distefano
Right, right, right. You got to say that.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
She's gonna be checking this out, probably.
Rodell Ortiz
But I was. I was with my girlfriend. I'm like, yo, that's on in the arm, bro. And she said, I don't give the Right, people?
Yannis Pappas
Your girlfriend was like.
Rodell Ortiz
She's.
Yannis Pappas
She's like prettier on camera, right?
Rodell Ortiz
She's like, no, she's like waiting there for her luggage and so.
Yannis Pappas
By herself with no security or anything.
Rodell Ortiz
No. She had like six people there with her.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
And there's people walking up to her asking for pictures. And me, I. I wouldn't dare.
Yannis Pappas
No.
Rodell Ortiz
You know, and I'm like. And I'm finally. I'm like, bro, this is my fucking chance to go and get a picture 100%. And finally, while I'm doing that and I'm nervous, somebody comes and asks me for a picture.
Yannis Pappas
Oh, yeah.
Chris Distefano
That was so.
Yannis Pappas
That Good timing. She didn't see it again.
Chris Distefano
You gotta say, yo, hold up. Do it louder.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, you said so. She didn't see it.
Rodell Ortiz
She didn't see it, bro. She didn't see me getting asked for a picture. But then that gave me the courage. I'm like, you know what? I'm somebody too.
Yannis Pappas
Fuck you. It.
Rodell Ortiz
So I went up to her, I asked her for a picture, and we took two pictures. And in one of them she's like, put on a real seductive face. I'll show you it. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, she wants me so bad.
Yannis Pappas
This.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
But then I'm like, all right, never see her again. The next night, I'm 25 Moscow mules deep.
Yannis Pappas
Wow.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, I've had 25 of them by the time I got there. Day drinking.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, of course.
Rodell Ortiz
Love Miyamaska.
Chris Distefano
You went over yo, yo, mommy.
Rodell Ortiz
No, she was, she was at the casita, bro. Mind you, you know the casita that was.
Yannis Pappas
I know it's bad bunny show. But he had.
Rodell Ortiz
He puts a. You remember the house in the super bowl that Cardi B was sending? Yeah. In the dead center of the arena picture. Madison Square Garden. That's. They literally call it stage B. Uh huh. He puts a actual fucking house in the dead center of the arena.
Yannis Pappas
And people.
Rodell Ortiz
It's an actual house I'm talking about. There's a kitchen, living room, big screen tv playing the thing. But when you walk out, you're in the country, you're on his stage. Yeah.
Chris Distefano
He hangs out with people in the house and then goes, let's go perform outside. And in your arena.
Rodell Ortiz
Some of the concert happens there. I'll show you afterwards. The. But it's only. You can't buy a ticket to be in the casita.
Yannis Pappas
You have to get invited.
Rodell Ortiz
You have to get invited. Yeah, so we got invited.
Chris Distefano
So you were in the arena in the casita.
Rodell Ortiz
In the casita.
Yannis Pappas
So of course Ana de Armas is in there.
Rodell Ortiz
And Ana de Armas shows up, and she's fucking.
Yannis Pappas
So now you're golden.
Rodell Ortiz
And then I was talking to her a little bit, because I had that liquid courage. You feel me?
Yannis Pappas
Oh, of course.
Rodell Ortiz
But then I was kind of like. Kind of feel like one of these fat assholes, like, just trying to hang out, you know? But then I went backstage to go see Reuben Blades shout out Ruben Blades, most legendary people of all time. Look him up. He was the invited guest that night. He always bring out a legendary salsa artist. This. So I go backstage. I'm kicking in with him. He actually did a movie with Ana de Armas. So I was like, yo, Ana is here. And he was like, oh, tell her. Tell her, you know, that I'm here to, you know, like, let's connect or whatever. So on my way back, I'm like.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, I got ammo now.
Rodell Ortiz
Talking about, boy. So I go back, I'm like, hey, so you know. You know Ruben, right? She's like, ruben. Ruben Blades. She was like, yeah. I'm like, oh, yeah. I was just chilling with him backstage. He told me to tell you what's up, and her face lit up.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
And I was so bricked up. Yeah, of course.
Chris Distefano
You almost left your wife. Right?
Yannis Pappas
Is one of those ones where the wife would actually understand.
Chris Distefano
I mean, I don't. I wouldn't care if she would or not. I just do it.
Yannis Pappas
You would just do it.
Chris Distefano
I deal with the.
Yannis Pappas
I would just deal with. Deal with the repercussions. Yeah. You know what I tell my daughters? Like, daddy obviously hasn't lived here in the last 15 years, but now that you're old enough to know. Look at who's. Look at.
Rodell Ortiz
Anna de Arna has so much hate messages, bro. When I posted her, of course people are gonna jealous. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of the hate messages was from my girlfriend.
Yannis Pappas
Also, you.
Rodell Ortiz
You didn't post me.
Chris Distefano
It was all her from different accounts. You. You fat piece of. I should have left you 10 years ago. You're like, who is this? Some. Some ghost account saying personal details only she would know.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. That's funny. Well, yeah, I'm jealous. You got to meet her.
Rodell Ortiz
No, it was. It was definitely great, bro. That's a highlight. Oh, yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Well, that's good. We'll see our boy, and then that's it, man. Now, you can't say that this is not a cultured podcast.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah, culture, bro. Some season in this, bro.
Yannis Pappas
We've had the the, the. The array. Ethnic array of guests we've had. Right? Yeah. I mean, good look. We went for David Cross, the whitest guy in the room. And we got Rodell Ortiz. And I'm happy we got Rodell.
Rodell Ortiz
Fuck David Cross.
Yannis Pappas
Exactly.
Chris Distefano
Got John Stamos. Greek. We got a Dominican now.
Yannis Pappas
Sergio, Puerto Rican.
Chris Distefano
Sergio, Puerto Rican. We need to get somebody black in here.
Rodell Ortiz
I got that. Perfect.
Yannis Pappas
We never had anybody black on the show.
Chris Distefano
Pac man, we had him.
Yannis Pappas
Pac Man Jones.
Chris Distefano
And then in the first. First run, we had a lot of black people.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah.
Chris Distefano
We had Godfrey. We had a bunch.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so now we. I would like to get a trans person on.
Chris Distefano
Let's do that.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Put the wig on.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. Nick, any questions, Any. Any Latino inspired questions?
Chris Distefano
Just wants a picture, bro.
Rodell Ortiz
Shout out to Latinos, man. Yeah. Hell yeah, bro.
Yannis Pappas
All my Jamaican friends love you.
Rodell Ortiz
All the ones in the Bronx, they love you. Yeah, bro. I love them too, bro. Thank you. Shout out my Latinos.
Yannis Pappas
Latinos. Nick is one. Nick is a Latino. That doesn't. He. He wants to be white, unfortunately. Wrestling and white stuff and anime. So we got to get him in more in touch with the Latino side because he's, you know, on food stamps.
Rodell Ortiz
I got it.
Yannis Pappas
That's true. That is true. Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
I just started watching anime too, bro. Attack on Titan. I saw. I'm actually not into anime. I'm just into wrestling. Oh, okay. Oh, really?
Yannis Pappas
I thought you were in town.
Rodell Ortiz
Me?
Chris Distefano
No, no, I'm not into that.
Rodell Ortiz
Gay. Come on.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, right?
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Aren't they wrestling is a little gayer than anime, but yeah. Yeah, we'll talk.
Yannis Pappas
Guys rolling around.
Chris Distefano
And listen, my Greek mother in law follows you. So it's not just Dominicans and Latinos following you. Yeah, you got a funny, funny guy.
Rodell Ortiz
I'll be at the next holiday party.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, amazing. You've been talking to my mother in law.
Yannis Pappas
Isn't that wild? What would you do if you came home and said that would be hilarious. Would it be nuts if he showed.
Chris Distefano
Up at Greek Easter that was playing dominoes with her? Love D. You know, it's funny cuz Greeks and Latinos, there's certain things that are very similar. Dominoes is one of them. Another thing is they have wepa, which is just like, you know, you say weapa when you're just excited. Whatever.
Rodell Ortiz
Puerto Ricans. Yeah, that's their word.
Chris Distefano
Puerto Ricans. And then Greeks have. UPA is the same thing as weapons.
Rodell Ortiz
Just.
Chris Distefano
It's very interesting.
Yannis Pappas
Should we start upa? Remember we used to do Weapons Wednesday. Should we start in the morning? In the morning? Yeah.
Chris Distefano
UPA in the morning. Morning. Well, bro, thanks for coming.
Yannis Pappas
Thanks for coming out.
Rodell Ortiz
I had a great time.
Chris Distefano
Follow him on Instagram.
Yannis Pappas
Follow him everywhere.
Chris Distefano
Go see him on tour.
Yannis Pappas
Go see him on tour and next time we'll drink that Leanda.
Rodell Ortiz
Amen.
Yannis Pappas
Cuz. As always, you go to patreon.com history hyenas. We pick out the funniest winners of the people who have the funniest names. I do. We did miss one over the last couple of weeks that I have written down. We're going to start. Start off with. With this person because they've. They've reached out to us a couple of times and their name is Frisbees leveled the praying field.
Chris Distefano
Ladder 14. Explain that one.
Yannis Pappas
I don't get Frisbees leveled the praying field, like the playing field, but the prank field, meaning that Frisbees leveled the prank field, meaning they. They hit Gaza saying it's.
Rodell Ortiz
Oh.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, walked in and walked one. Very creative.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
For the end of the year.
Yannis Pappas
That's what it is for the end of the year.
Chris Distefano
Now I'm just going to say you're for the end.
Yannis Pappas
For the end of the year. So that's what it is.
Chris Distefano
Okay, good one.
Yannis Pappas
So here's the list here, as always, patreon.com history. We got Carl's trans daughter. Call me Tucker. Carl's son. Okay, good try, Good try. Ann. Eileen. Welcome, welcome.
Chris Distefano
An Eileen.
Yannis Pappas
Thank you for joining.
Chris Distefano
It's good to have you here.
Yannis Pappas
Christopher really appreciated Christopher Harlan Netanyahu playing Palestinian Frogger.
Chris Distefano
Okay, that's for you for the end of the year.
Yannis Pappas
End of the year. My cellmate told me the tattoo was a symbol for peace. My bad swastika joke. Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, it's for the end of the year.
Yannis Pappas
Conor Ryan. This one is disparaging my wife, so can't do that. You could see that right away.
Chris Distefano
And that doesn't go on to the walk to one of those that just gets eliminated.
Yannis Pappas
It doesn't even get read. Yeah. So that's the problem with disparaging the family members. Yeah. Unless it's read. Really funny. Yeah, it's got to be really funny. This one's not funny enough. The Red Sea was easier to part than Giannis's eyes.
Chris Distefano
We're going to put that one on the list.
Yannis Pappas
This list.
Chris Distefano
Because that's a contender right off the bat. Because I imagine the Red Sea was really hard to part.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, it's just what it is. What's eating Gilbert's Gape.
Chris Distefano
Good try.
Yannis Pappas
So now this one. The Red Sea was easier to part than the honest's eyes because you're assuming a male wrote that you're following it. But if you were sure a woman did, you would get upset.
Chris Distefano
Get upset. Yeah, I really would get up actually when they, when the women do make.
Yannis Pappas
The joke, it upsets.
Chris Distefano
It upsets me. Yes.
Yannis Pappas
By the way, have you looked at our Patreon? Some of these girls are fucking pieces. Unless you're using fake profile pictures.
Chris Distefano
We got. So we got a lot of insanely hot.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
If you're not on the Patreon, you're both missing out on some pieces. Yeah, we have the best. We just have it.
Yannis Pappas
We just have the best page still. Yeah, we do has more fun. I know a lot of you people are subscribed to other people's patrons and that's great. But like tell us who's more fun than ours?
Chris Distefano
This thing that our community is the funnest community.
Yannis Pappas
Everybody else just goes. Goes there for a bonus episode. So we have a bonus episode. Plus this community.
Chris Distefano
Our fans are hilarious. Hilarious.
Yannis Pappas
What's eating Gilbert's gape?
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Jeffrey Reyes Clit Romney instead of Mitt Romney.
Chris Distefano
Chicken finger. Nice one.
Yannis Pappas
It's not gay if it's my clone.
Chris Distefano
Put him on the list.
Yannis Pappas
Interesting.
Chris Distefano
Because it's an interesting. It's an interesting little loophole. Yeah, that's an interesting little loophole if you're yourself.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, exactly.
Chris Distefano
It's the same thing as masturbating. I mean, it's another person.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
This is a very deep philosophical question. Yeah. My friend. You got a catapult for that.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. It's not gay if it's my clone.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
It's not only a great name, but it's also philosophical question.
Chris Distefano
It's a very open ended philosophical question. Question that's not solved yet.
Yannis Pappas
Eric. Then we got chinking my armor and Frisbee in my pocket. Okay.
Chris Distefano
I don't get that.
Rodell Ortiz
I don't know. Get my armor.
Yannis Pappas
Ssd Suzuki sommelier at ucf.
Chris Distefano
Okay, that's very funny.
Yannis Pappas
So you're saying he. He samples the Suzuki which has come at ucf, which is united.
Chris Distefano
Come sommelier.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah. Under which is which? Ucf if you're new to the show is under undercover.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
So.
Chris Distefano
And he samples the Suzuki. It's really funny.
Yannis Pappas
Very funny. Put him on the list. Very inside baseball.
Chris Distefano
I don't think he's going to win but he, he deserves to be on it.
Yannis Pappas
Very esoteric for our show.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Used Honda pilot drives in Snow, but not over ice.
Chris Distefano
I know. It's some sort of ice jump. Yes, it's used Honda Pilot. It means he's a. A driver of a Honda car that.
Yannis Pappas
The chick was driving.
Rodell Ortiz
Maybe.
Yannis Pappas
Maybe drives it at snow, but not over ice.
Rodell Ortiz
14.
Yannis Pappas
My. My ma is my guma. That's interesting. It's kind of gross.
Chris Distefano
Really gross.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
If St. Matthias's candle is burning, then so is Chris.
Rodell Ortiz
Okay.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. Yeah. Because you did something bad.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, it's what it is.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Genghis Khan, Owen Taylor. Babe. With the door open and the lid closed.
Chris Distefano
Put him on the lid.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
It's very interesting to have some fun on top of. Of the toilet.
Yannis Pappas
Louis Cheese. Christina, Bill, Glue gun Gary.
Chris Distefano
Glue gun Gary.
Yannis Pappas
Funny chicken finger. Father Bill munching on Greta's thun burger. I am the captain now. Child Care Services.
Chris Distefano
It's an old one.
Yannis Pappas
It's funny.
Chris Distefano
Good one, though.
Yannis Pappas
In the shower, I turn red washcloths into ladybugs. Put spot.
Chris Distefano
Put spots on them.
Yannis Pappas
Put spots on red so that it.
Chris Distefano
Looks like a ladybug because it has like. Yeah, okay, very funny. Chicken figure. I mean, I'm going to Drexler first. Drexler? Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Unserked Jerk Trump is back, so I'm back to work. Okay. Josh P. Sent Foreman to pick up ice, but ice picked him up. Okay. Kevin Kelly, Ben Twice. Charlie Tong, Colter. Com. Levsky Tom, Matt Campbell, Abdullah Elmi, Brian Myers. Alcohol monkey. My blanket caught the flu. Cozy. Iceman 87. Banjo Buck Hyena Pen Security. Glue gun named General Custer because it shoots Leroy's.
Chris Distefano
Okay, Nick, you gotta tell your friends to stop joining the Patreon.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, real profire corn Fire Life Safety Services. Give my cut of the Patreon to Nick. You fucking Jews.
Chris Distefano
Lot of 14. Put them on the list.
Yannis Pappas
Okay?
Chris Distefano
Put them on the list.
Yannis Pappas
That's what it is. Genghis Sean Hyena. Hyena's bobblehead night. AKA Booked in India. I don't get it. All right, Jack Reinhart, Chrissy D's burnt off asshort returned. I feel like it's growing again. Benjamin Carrera, Amanda Rivera. Smush me without epaz until I'm mas duro. Cole Thomas.
Chris Distefano
Good try.
Yannis Pappas
It might be short, but at least it's thin. Drexler, Titus drops all Abishak Dhawan, Bomezik, Mike Cannon's golden retriever.
Chris Distefano
Oh, God. Because his dad ran over it.
Yannis Pappas
Ran over it. Yeah, unfortunately, off the beam, like Charlie Sheen, because laser beams clip my peen ladder 14.
Chris Distefano
So just a good rhyme scheme.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. Hopefully catching pink eye from her stink eye. Okay. The kid wants pink eye.
Chris Distefano
What kid wants? He wants to eat her ass. He wants the sweeper chimney.
Yannis Pappas
It's just what it is. Sauce monkey. But I look muzzy. Call me a San Negroni.
Chris Distefano
Okay.
Yannis Pappas
My Fruit of the Looms is a tomb of fumes.
Chris Distefano
Love it. And it's going on the list.
Yannis Pappas
Okay, there you go. That's funny.
Chris Distefano
We got all contenders today.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. My Fruit of the Loom is a tomb of fumes.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. That it could be the winner.
Yannis Pappas
SES4 4. James Nicholas Reich. Squiggly the Squid Hose Leroy wearing a screen mask. So I can finally shop in peace.
Chris Distefano
Put it on the list.
Yannis Pappas
Okay.
Chris Distefano
Put it on the list. Because he's actually looks scary, but he's saying it's easier to shop. Funny being black.
Yannis Pappas
It's very funny Playing fetch with my German shepherd. I throw a ball, he comes back with a frisbee.
Chris Distefano
Sorry. Sometimes they break through. Walked in one.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Because that is so original.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
It's so fucking good.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
I, I, I, I wish these were on different lists cuz I don't want to choose between that one and the one before.
Yannis Pappas
It's yeah, that. Yeah. Okay.
Chris Distefano
That is just so original.
Yannis Pappas
K Ross in lane. Matthew Darner, Bro from the Congo. Look Ma. No hands.
Chris Distefano
Ladder 14. Oh, that's hands cut off. Cuz we have so many. You want to stop? We have too many.
Yannis Pappas
Well, we got to just finish the to the.
Chris Distefano
I just feel bad because they're not going to win.
Yannis Pappas
Rio Grande Swim Team.
Chris Distefano
Real good. It's a real good one. I mean what do we do? I'm putting it on the list.
Yannis Pappas
It's a fight. Yeah. Julian Ed Blinder. Edward Livingston. Trail of Tears. Laugh Track. Nick Jordan. Racer I cock block women. It's what it is. Straight to the crack. Because I'm black and gay.
Chris Distefano
Okay, well dame we got all races in all cultures and religions listening and we love that.
Yannis Pappas
Hope is my hedge. But my toe is already off the edge.
Chris Distefano
Kids falling off the beam.
Yannis Pappas
Billy Williams. Are we at 2000 members yet? Because mommy needs a new pair of of titties.
Chris Distefano
Oh, we got to pay for someone's titties, right?
Yannis Pappas
Which we will.
Chris Distefano
I promise that.
Yannis Pappas
Tom Feedback. Michael Olschner. Tom Feedback. Oh, there you go.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Great guy. Morgan Meyer Deport. Cash Patel. Far right, tucked back. Call me Sydney Swellner.
Chris Distefano
You know what's funny though? This just shows you how everything's tied to politics and like everyone's a hypocrite. Like if you said deport Cash Patel, who's citizen. People on the left would go, yeah, deport him.
Yannis Pappas
Right.
Chris Distefano
They want him gone.
Yannis Pappas
Right.
Chris Distefano
Even though he's a citizen.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Wouldn't say, hey, that's racist.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
They want cash.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Everyone filters everything through their world.
Yannis Pappas
Through their world.
Chris Distefano
Like, what the actual.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
You're going, wait, he's a citizen. No, I hate him.
Yannis Pappas
So. Yeah.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
And then last but not least, Dingleberry Dan's nugget removal service.
Chris Distefano
Singleberry Dan is a goodie goodie. Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
But if it was, do you think this is it? Don't read it.
Chris Distefano
No, I don't think you should because we got so many hall of Fame famous.
Yannis Pappas
Okay, that's fine by me. All right, so here is the list. The Red Sea was easier to part than Yanni's eyes.
Chris Distefano
I was hopeful for this guy, but he got upstaged.
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, unfortunately.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
It's not gay if it's my clone.
Chris Distefano
Good philosophical question, but you. The back of the list just came too strong.
Yannis Pappas
But we do want people to question that on the Patreon.
Chris Distefano
We want someone who's. We want an egghead to figure that out.
Yannis Pappas
Suzuki, Somalia. You ucf.
Chris Distefano
Funny one, but we're gonna have to.
Yannis Pappas
Unfortunately, it's just.
Chris Distefano
Any other day.
Yannis Pappas
If you want to see the definition of ucf, go to History Hyenas is back Dot com. We got a glossary up there of all our terms. If you're new to the show, you can go check. If you don't know what a word is, go check out our glossary. We got it up there. Sabrina the Hyena updates it on a weekly basis. Babe. With the door open and the lid closed.
Chris Distefano
It's real funny, but I feel like.
Yannis Pappas
They'Re stronger because I don't care. What is it just a pile of on top of.
Chris Distefano
Yeah, he's just having a good time. Yeah, the guy. Guys just having a really good time. And I love those. Once in a while. It just doesn't have to be witty or anything. It's just, hey, babe, let's leave the door open and shoot the lid closed.
Yannis Pappas
But it's off, the good part.
Chris Distefano
All right, you can say if you want to have a real party, that would be a good expression. Like tonight we're going to fucking shit with. With the door open and the lid.
Yannis Pappas
Closed and the lid close. Give my cut of the Patreon to Nick, you fucking Jews.
Chris Distefano
Very funny. But we're going to upstage it.
Yannis Pappas
Nick saying to keep it?
Chris Distefano
Yeah, he wants to keep it.
Yannis Pappas
Well, because Nick wants to Cut.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. What's the cut?
Yannis Pappas
My Fruit of the looms is a tomb of.
Chris Distefano
We're keeping that as a contender.
Yannis Pappas
Leroy wearing a scream mask so I can finally shop in peace.
Chris Distefano
I think it's funny, but I think we're going to Drexler it.
Rodell Ortiz
Okay.
Yannis Pappas
Playing fetch with my German shepherd. I throw a ball, he comes back with a frisbee.
Chris Distefano
I mean, it's just too funny.
Yannis Pappas
It's cheap.
Chris Distefano
Way too funny.
Yannis Pappas
And then last but not least, Rio Grande swim team.
Chris Distefano
That's another way too funny. So those. Those are our three. Okay, so.
Yannis Pappas
So it is between.
Chris Distefano
Again, I'd like to say we do this right.
Yannis Pappas
We do this right. My Fruit of the looms is a tomb of fumes. Playing fetch with my German shepherd. I throw a ball, he comes back with a frisbee. Or the Rio Grande swim team.
Chris Distefano
They're all really good. The Rio Grande swim team is an absolute hall of fame. Chicken finger. That's the definition. If a chicken finger was going to win, it would be that one. But I think we just got two funnier ones. Yeah, but the Rio Grande swim team is hilarious because that's how illegals usually swim into what it is for the Rio Gr.
Yannis Pappas
So then it is really between. My Fruit of the looms is a tomb of fumes. Or playing fetch with my German shepherd. I throw a ball, he comes back with a frisbee.
Chris Distefano
I mean, he's a German shepherd. So the kid just does what? German shepherd.
Yannis Pappas
Right. And frisbees, for anyone new, is a person with a yamaka.
Chris Distefano
It's a person with a yarm.
Yannis Pappas
We just call him Frisbee. It's fine.
Chris Distefano
Frisbees. So the pun works here. And then my.
Yannis Pappas
I have rooms.
Chris Distefano
It's funny. It's just a tomb of fumes with the rhyme scheme.
Rodell Ortiz
Right.
Chris Distefano
So basically, we're to going. Going with a borderline. Walked into one, which is really creative and funny. Or we're going with an absolute hall of fame, chicken finger. We're going to vote on this one. We're going to vote on this.
Yannis Pappas
Tough.
Chris Distefano
There's four of us. We're going to vote.
Yannis Pappas
What do you got? German shepherd, Frisbee or tomb of fumes? Fruit of the looms.
Rodell Ortiz
Fruit of the looms.
Yannis Pappas
You like to my fumes. It is interesting. Jesse.
Chris Distefano
Yeah. I'm a sucker for a good fart joke.
Rodell Ortiz
Yeah.
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
And you know what? We do have so many frisbees. So many of that joke.
Chris Distefano
You're the deciding vote here.
Yannis Pappas
And, you know, and even though my dog is 25% German cheese shepherd. I do think that Food of the Looms is a tomb of fumes is just something we haven't heard at all. And it's very funny. And it's. And it's. And it's. It's kind of more family friendly.
Chris Distefano
Yes.
Yannis Pappas
And I like that. I think that's the winner, personally.
Chris Distefano
And I want to just say to the other guy, very funny. Don't stop writing. You got good material. Yeah.
Yannis Pappas
Keep it going. So my Fruit of the Looms is a tomb of fumes. Congratulations. You are the ppw, the pseudo Penis of the week. You are a big winner. Go to history hyenas is back dot com. So your name is up in lights patreon.com history hyenas. To be part of this community and hear every single bonus episode and every episode that's out on YouTube with no ads, ad free. That's a big perk. So we are going to continue at the Patreon right now.
Chris Distefano
Monster Energy.
Yannis Pappas
Everybody knows White Monster Zero Ultra, that's the og it kicked off this whole zero sugar energy drink thing. But Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Blue Hawaiian Sunrise, and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster Energy punch. So if you've been living in the White can branch out. Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe.
Chris Distefano
And every single one is Zero Sugar.
Yannis Pappas
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Air Date: February 12, 2026
Hosts: Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas
Guest: Radel Ortiz
This episode welcomes Dominican comedian and internet star Radel Ortiz—the show's first Dominican guest—to share wild stories from New York, comedy insights, and experiences with cultural identity. The hosts blend their trademark irreverence with genuine curiosity about Dominican and Latino culture, forging hilarious, sometimes poignant exchanges about comedy, growing up in the city, mourning, and Bad Bunny’s epic Casita residency in Puerto Rico.
“Now it's like, oh, this person knows me…that’s what I want to hear... It's actually comforting to me." – Yannis, [03:09]
“Older women who have never gone to a comedy show ever…” – Radel, [02:51]
"My show is like Spanglish...some people were pissed...don't go see this guy unless you speak Spanish..." – Radel, [04:52]
“All I've been getting is the bodega guy, bro. They say I have like a villain face.” – Radel, [07:04]
"What time is it? By the way, that's the ultimate you're about to get robbed." – Radel, [13:27]
“Even the week after my father's funeral...I had to go up and tell jokes… I was just miserable.” – Radel, [43:08]
"Ten years, Puerto Rican, Dominican, no kids. I didn't know that was possible." – Chris, [50:58]
“You can't buy a ticket to be in the casita… you have to get invited." – Radel, [66:11] “I was so bricked up... I almost left my wife!” – Radel, [67:19]
“We're whites that are okay. We're good whites.” – Yannis, [58:34]
This episode is a hilarious, richly textured window into New York's cross-cultural life and the changing world of comedy. It delivers laugh-out-loud stories, lessons about Dominican culture and identity, bits on social mobility, grief, and belonging—and priceless anecdotes from inside entertainment’s wildest corners.
| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|--------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:02 | Yannis | "Now it's like, oh, this person knows me... It's actually comforting to me." | | 04:52 | Radel | “Don’t go see this guy unless you speak Spanish. He completely panders to Mexicans.” | | 13:27 | Radel | “What time is it? By the way, that's the ultimate you're about to get robbed.” | | 19:50 | Radel | “Glow-in-the-dark vampire plastic teeth. ...and he let me keep it.” | | 21:44 | Yannis | “Juan Rodriguez, a multilingual Afro Latino born in Santo Domingo, was the first non native settler of Manhattan in 1613.” | | 57:25 | Chris | “I have to say, I think Hispanic, Puerto Rican, Dominican audiences are the funnest.” | | 66:11 | Radel | “You can't buy a ticket to be in the casita… you have to get invited." | | 67:19 | Radel | “I was so bricked up... I almost left my wife!” |
"Inside Bad Bunny’s Casita w/ Radel Ortiz" is a riotous, heartfelt celebration of Latino culture, the strange and joyous world of New York’s comedy scene, and the relatable struggles of chasing dreams while staying true to one’s roots and family. Whether you’re looking for sharp social commentary, wild NYC tales, or a comedy tour across cultures, this episode serves it up—en Spanglish, with love.