Robert Maxwell: Chased the tingle into the sea | History Hyenas

Summary

History Hyenas: "Robert Maxwell: Chased the tingle into the sea"

Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas
Date: February 19, 2026

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Episode Overview

Chris and Yannis bring their trademark blend of outrageous humor and unfiltered banter to the bizarre, scandal-soaked history of Robert Maxwell—media tycoon, probable spy, and father of Ghislaine Maxwell. The episode weaves Maxwell’s life story with riffs on islands, conspiracy theories, therapy, family dysfunction, and the Epstein scandal, always keeping the energy riotous and the jokes flowing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Do the Rich Buy Islands?

Timestamps: [05:09]–[09:35]

• The boys riff on the theme of why the super-wealthy go after private islands.
• Joke (Chris): "If you're buying Pumpkin Key island... you're buying it to sex traffic. It's just what it is." [06:47]
• Yannis floats conspiracy theories about elites learning universal truths and becoming nihilistic:

  "I think they get privy to information most humans are not privy to... Maybe they know we're stuck in this prison planet and nothing matters anyway, so I'll burn the owl, drink the kid’s blood, it doesn’t matter." [07:16]

• Chris connects this ritual weirdness to youthful camp antics and the general weirdness of “the club at the top.” They muse about being perpetually outside the "real" elite club.

2. Therapy, Anxiety & Submitting to Life

Timestamps: [12:12]–[19:00]

• Yannis dishes about using THC for presence and laughter. Chris opens up about anxiety, avoidance, and fear rooted in childhood.
• Notable quote (Yannis):

  "There's a clear difference between having awareness about yourself... you need to integrate your personality. Bring it all back into you: the good, bad, ugly." [15:05]

• The boys joke about mental health shortcuts, with Yannis coining “the roofer” analogy for fixing psychological leaks and Chris considering the “pros”—antidepressants like Lexapro (“His little name’s Lex. Pro. That’s a basic. Just go to Alexi. Lexi is sexy.” [13:31]).

3. Unresolved Issues & Coping Mechanisms

Timestamps: [19:00]–[20:58]

• Discussion about emotional triggers: buying clothes that no longer fit or needing background noise in the bathroom.
• Chris:

  "If I cry four days out of seven, that’s a problem." [19:51]

• Yannis:

  "If you're crying at things you’re not supposed to be crying at... that’s what we call unresolved issues." [19:48]

4. Transition to Main Topic: Robert Maxwell

Timestamps: [21:25]–[25:34]

• Pivot to the focus: Robert Maxwell—Ghislaine's father and shadow architect of the Maxwell/Epstein legacy of scandal.
• Yannis:

  “You might not have any Jeffrey Epstein without Robert Maxwell.” [21:39]

• Both joke about Maxwell’s death at sea:

  "That is the boat that he fell off when he tripped over his shoelace and chased the tingle right into the water." [25:35]

5. Robert Maxwell’s Wild Biography

Timestamps: [25:43]–[35:41]

a. Early Life & World War II

• Born poor and Jewish in Czechoslovakia, real name Jan Ludwig Hyman Binyamin Hoch.
• Emigrates, joins British military, becomes intelligence officer due to language skills.
• Early post-war controversies: turns blind eye to abuse of POWs "kid got some revenge." [28:25]
• Changes name to sound British, rises as a war hero.

b. Business Mogul and Fraud

• Founds Pergamon Press; first public scandal after an audit finds financial tampering.
• Buys the Mirror Group; uses tabloid empire for propaganda, feuds with Rupert Murdoch.
• Notable: "He was just running up a tab, stealing all his employees' monies." [31:54]

c. Massive Pension Theft & Mysterious Death

• Steals 400 million pounds from employee pensions in a colossal business fraud—likened to Bernie Madoff.
• Sails his yacht, then mysteriously falls overboard:

  "He was a big-time Mossad asset... and he was threatening to blackmail [them]. So now we're gonna make you chase the tingle right into the ocean." [35:41]

d. Intelligence Allegiances

• Alleged to have been a Mossad asset and access broker, dealing with all sides, crossing “every intelligence service.”
• At his funeral:

  “He's done more for Israel than I can say.” [36:13]

• Claims Maxwell tipped Mossad about nuclear whistleblower Vanunu [37:05].

6. The Maxwell-Epstein Connection

Timestamps: [41:18]–[45:56]

• Ghislaine’s path: her life falls apart after her father’s death; she meets Epstein in New York, becomes his partner/"property manager.”
• Speculation on whether Ghislaine acted as a Mossad recruiter for Epstein.
• Humorous aside:

  "It's very Freudian, isn't it? It's almost like we always go after someone who reminds us of our mothers or our fathers." [45:42]

7. Epstein, Conspiracies, and the Web of Power

Timestamps: [40:44]–[53:38]

• How Epstein is propped up—possible intelligence asset (CIA or Mossad?), evidence suggesting he was "created"/groomed for his role.
• His only real client/business benefactor: Les Wexner.
• Chris:

  "He bought Les Wexner’s house, the biggest townhouse in NYC, for $1. It’s what it is." [49:44]

8. The Cover-up & Public Outrage

Timestamps: [50:56]–[53:38]

• Epstein's 2008 sweetheart deal in Florida:

  “He pleads guilty to this... they give him complete immunity, and all his co-conspirators!” [51:53]

• Connection to MeToo: renewed justice in 2019 after victims come forward, stirring public outrage.

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Notable Quotes & Classic Hyenas Moments

• On elites and power:
  "There’s a club that you get into that seems that we’re not in… It runs across professions, across international lines." – Chris [09:26]

• On Robert Maxwell's character:
  "He's a kid who's resilient, but also as sleazy as they come." – Yannis [29:50]

• On Maxwell's death:
  "He was a kid who liked to chase the tingle. When you threaten the Mossad... you’ll get killed for that." – Yannis [36:00]

• On family dysfunction:
  "He puts, he pits his kids against each other… Menendez senior, right? Without all the sexual abuse." – Yannis [31:10]

• On unresolved trauma:
  "If you're crying at things you’re not supposed to be crying at… then there’s what we call unresolved issues." – Yannis [19:48]

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Other Memorable Bits

• Chris and Yannis riff endlessly on fashion anxiety, body issues, and their personal neuroses, turning confession into comedy.
• Listener Patreon names bit (from [54:02]), “pseudo penis of the week” selection—packed with wild, raunchy pun names and raucous reactions.
• Tribute to the History Hyenas style: irreverent, profane, unpredictable, never holding back, always doubling down on the bit.

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Important Timestamps

• Why buy an island? [05:09]
• Elite rituals & "prison planet" conspiracy [07:16]
• Mental health/therapy riff [12:12]
• Unresolved issues & childhood trauma [15:05]/[19:48]
• Transition to Maxwell as "founder" of the scandal [21:25]
• Maxwell’s biography (from rags to riches, to fraud, to possible Mossad involvement) [25:43–36:41]
• Maxwell’s death & Israeli state funeral [36:00]
• Maxwell/Epstein/Ghislaine triangle [41:18–45:56]
• Epstein’s "creation" as asset [49:02]
• 2008 legal “deal” outrage [51:53]
• Top Patreon name contenders segment [54:02+]

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Tone

• Hilarious, chaotic, brutally honest
• Willingly offensive and self-deprecating
• Blends insight, mock-conspiratorial speculation, and cathartic oversharing

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For New Listeners

• While packed with references and in-jokes, this episode delivers a riotous take on the sordid history and conspiracies of the Maxwell-Epstein saga—illuminating the shady world of media barons, spies, and the elite, all through the unique, rambunctious filter of Chris and Yannis.

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Quote of the episode:

“If you're buying Pumpkin Key island... you’re buying it to sex traffic. It's just what it is.” – Chris Distefano [06:47]

Serious History—With the Silliest Energy.

Transcript

[A]

We got a great episode for you today. We get into the history of Robert Maxwell, Ghislaine Maxwell's daddy. He was a naughty boy.

[B]

Naughty boy. And I'm banged up on the THC Seltzer.

[A]

Yeah. Chrissy's a little high. You can catch me in Bakersfield, California, this weekend at the well Comedy Club. Then you catch me at Sol Joel's March 6, what it is.

[B]

Then we're going to his wedding.

[A]

Then we're going to his wedding March 6th. Pottstown, Pennsylvania, laugh. Boston, April 17th and 18th. West Nyack, April 24th and 26th. And Emmaus, Pennsylvania, May 2nd. Giannispeppascomedy.com for t. Cause you got back

[B]

to back thc cities. You got Bakersfield, California, and then Pottstown, Penns.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And patreon.com history hyenas for our bonus episodes and our weekly content.

[B]

Yes. And the Patreon we put out this past week is the hardest I've ever laughed in my life. And I think you're gonna wanna listen.

[A]

Chrissy was. What's up, everybody? April can be freezing at night if you're in New York City, but if you got a cute jacket and you're into that type of thing, it's the place for you.

[B]

That's what it is.

[A]

There's no way to get out of consequences because if you want to go to Texas or something like that, then you're gonna have to deal with spiders and.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Comedians. You mean f. Words.

[B]

Oh, right. Yeah.

[A]

So there's just. You always got a pain.

[B]

And the. And the. And you got to deal with the insects.

[A]

You got to deal with the insects.

[B]

You got to.

[A]

You got to deal with a lot of big people.

[B]

Or do you mean. You meant spiders as insects?

[A]

I meant insects. What did you think?

[B]

I thought you were talking about. I thought you saying, like, illegals. No. Yeah.

[A]

You got to deal with that as well.

[B]

Texas. I thought you were calling them spiders.

[A]

Yeah, they're up here, too.

[B]

I'm just kidding.

[A]

He's got one in his neighborhood. He's got a hotel.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Jesse's got a bunch of Venezuelan guys that hang out on the. On the bench. Yeah, I was just kidding about that. I'm still high. I want to get Carvel. Nobody got me Carvel.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And, yeah. The bottom line is, look. March comes in like a lion, goes out like a lamb. April showers Bring May flowers.

[A]

Bring my flowers and June time to June.

[B]

June bloom, June bloom July, July, find the guy.

[A]

July, find a guy and get high.

[B]

Yeah. Find a Guy get high.

[A]

August.

[B]

August.

[A]

August doesn't rhyme with anything.

[B]

August is our birthdays.

[A]

The only person who can make August rhyme is Eminem.

[B]

Eminem. September.

[A]

September.

[B]

Remember.

[A]

Remember my birthday? October. You know her?

[B]

October? Yeah, they say Coctober. Rocktober.

[A]

October. November. No.

[B]

November.

[A]

November.

[B]

No. November. December.

[A]

November. Come over. November dilemma. November dilemma. November's a dilemma.

[B]

A dilemma.

[A]

It's a dilemma.

[B]

Yeah. December suspenders. Because you got a fat ass. Santa Claus.

[A]

Yeah. December suspenders. And then January.

[B]

January.

[A]

January.

[B]

January. That's. My name is January.

[A]

Thus my name is January.

[B]

February.

[A]

February.

[B]

Feminine. February.

[A]

February.

[B]

February. And then Black History Month.

[A]

Black History Month. Listen, we're going to remember this year for the rest of our lives because it was such a cold winter in the northeast. The Epstein.

[B]

Epstein.

[A]

I'm gonna start calling him Epstein.

[B]

Cuz are you high? Well, me and Jess are on thc.

[A]

Big, big, big, big, big. Well, Rachel's last name, Feinstein is. It's. Yeah, it's Feinstein.

[B]

It's not Rachel.

[A]

It's not Rachel Steen. It's not Rachel. It's not Rachel Feinstein. It's Rachel Feinstein.

[B]

Rachel Feinstein Stein.

[A]

So you got to add a layer. You got to jew it up a little bit, right?

[B]

Rachel Feinstein.

[A]

Feinstein. Rachel Feinstein. I think if there was Jewish pirates, they wouldn't go R. They'd go now. Cause talk to me, you told me what the bottom line is. What's the top line?

[B]

Yeah. Okay, so the bot. The bottom line is. Yeah, I told you. The bottom line.

[A]

Top line.

[B]

The top line.

[A]

What's the top line? Top line.

[B]

I want to live in top lines. Get my own apartment.

[A]

I want to move to Long Island.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cuz are you looking at the island?

[B]

No, I'm not looking at the island, but I am looking at another house in my neighborhood. I got an appointment tomorrow at 9:30.

[A]

Now how does it work? Is anyone going to be buying Little St. James? And how the fuck you get an island? I didn't know there was islands. You could just get.

[B]

You could get because they got money. Money.

[A]

I've never seen one on Zillow.

[B]

I mean, because some of our friends got islands. Some of our friends get amusement parks.

[A]

Have you ever met a friend who had an island? Isn't there Hollywood celebrities that got like islands in around Greece?

[B]

Because I've only ever been on Staten Island. Long Island.

[A]

Yeah, that's it. Yeah. And those aren't even really islands.

[B]

Staten island is Staten island, not Long Island.

[A]

Well, we're technically an island too. It's all islands, right?

[B]

Yeah. Cause, I mean, you know, it's just

[A]

whatever you want to call it.

[B]

Whatever you want to say.

[A]

Whatever I want to do. Whatever you want to say.

[B]

Whatever you want to say. United States is the best. We're the best Olympic team. We're just better than every country. The United States is awesome. Everybody else sucks.

[A]

Let's take a peek because you can buy Rang island. How much for $160 million?

[B]

Ooh.

[A]

You could buy Long Cococay for $75 million.

[B]

What's crazy is, is it's not out of like the realm of possibility for people. Yeah. Like, obviously not us, but like 75 million. It's like there's billionaires there. They could just buy it in cash. Yeah, but then what's the point? What do you do with it?

[A]

Well, that's the thing. If you're going to buy an island, what's the point? Why couldn't you just go down to the Poconos? Why? I mean, to. Not the po.

[B]

Bermuda. Bahamas.

[A]

Bahamas, Beautiful. But what was the one when we were kids, they'd all go, acapulco.

[B]

Oh, Mexico.

[A]

Yeah. Remember Acapulco used to be a hot spot. Now you go down there, you get killed by the car. Yeah.

[B]

Tourists get killed left and right.

[A]

Yeah. But if you're buying Pumpkin Key island.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're buying it to sex traffic.

[B]

It's just what it is.

[A]

You're gonna do something illegal because otherwise why would you.

[B]

Why would you have the million?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So for 75. Oh, and it's in Florida, but.

[A]

Cause Pumpkin Key is a kid cute. Look at Pumpkin Key.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, so you buy the island, but it already has shit on it as houses and stuff on it.

[A]

I just want to know, like, what is it about people at the top level that they like to build owl in the woods and then burn it? Like, why does everyone act like camp teenagers?

[B]

What happens is when you get to, like, the really, really tippety top, like, of elite society, you know, these 1 percenters, they do things. I think they might have some. I really think this. I think that they get privy to information that most humans are not privy to. They find out some kind of. And either they're doing it because they're like paying some homage to whatever creator is or whatever information they have, or they know that we're stuck in just this prison planet and we're going to keep getting recycling and reincarnated. And they say, you know what? Nothing matters anyway. I'll burn the owl. I'll drink the kid's blood, it doesn't matter. We just die and get re looped because we're in a prison planet where an ancient civilization is eating our negative thoughts. And that there's actually nothing that you're seeing. Nothing is actually real. What the moon is, is a reflecting device.

[A]

Right?

[B]

And every time you look at the moon, it actually, it's just a. It's just a device that reflects light and shows you exactly what you want to see. But the reality is you're nothing here. You're probably just a brain in a jar.

[A]

That's probably so that's why they burn the owl.

[B]

That's why they burn the owl.

[A]

They burn the owl.

[B]

That's why they burn the owl.

[A]

Yeah. Because they always do do weird stuff, right? They put masks on, they put pajamas on. They all.

[B]

What I'm saying makes sense.

[A]

It does make. It makes a lot of sense. Yeah, that actually makes a lot of sense. I think that' actually the best explanation I've heard.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that the reason why they're burning the owl in there is because the moon is a mirror and we're brains in a jar.

[B]

And I think that they just know that they get. They get some kind of confirmation of that. Maybe not that snare, but something like that. And then they just don't care. Wouldn't you not care if you. If you got confirmed? Because the only thing that's confirmed is our sexuality confirmed.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right. Or it could just be that burning an owl is super fun. Just like, remember like, if you were in camp. Because they seem to do like a lot of camp stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because they're like, let's go to retreat together. Let's. Oh, let's make macrame. Let's put on PJs.

[B]

Let's have a.

[A]

Let's have a dance party. Yeah. Let's dress like dogs. Like, it's fun camp stuff.

[B]

Because I gotta be honest with you though, if I ever saw someone burn an owl, it would make me really upset because I say you're burning my friend Yanni because you look like an owl.

[A]

I do look like an owl.

[B]

You look like an owl.

[A]

I look like a bird.

[B]

You look like an owl with some snooze in it.

[A]

Yeah. They just zin. So there's a club that you get into that seems that we're not in. We're not in. And I'm talking about even. Not even that club.

[B]

I'm talking.

[A]

It seems to be like an elite club that runs across professions.

[B]

Right?

[A]

It runs across international lines. Right. It's just kind of like a club where they like to eat pizza, drink grape soda, and they love beef jerky.

[B]

It's what it is. And that. That probably is our minors.

[A]

That's probably. I mean. Or the kid just had a hankering for beef jerky all the time.

[B]

I, you know, if I didn't have cholesterol and blood pressure issues, I would eat beef jerky a lot.

[A]

Would it be weird, though, if me and you were in an email correspondence and I just kept bringing. Bringing up, like, my beef jerky. That would be weird, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't even think I would have an email correspondence with you where I would keep talking about pizza. Yeah, well, how many times do we bring up pizza?

[B]

I mean. Well, we talk about pizza a lot, but we call it Pete. So just so you know, if you ever see a email from me and Yanni and we're talking about pizza, just know it's a fake because we say Pete's.

[A]

Yeah, it's just Jeffrey Epstein loved beef jerky.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He just loved it. Delicious lunch. Beef jerky. Mmm.

[B]

It's what it is.

[A]

That's what he had for lunch. So the kid just had beef jerky.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Six bags in the downstairs freezer for this trip. Six bags of beef jerky.

[B]

It's what it is.

[A]

It just seems wild. Yeah.

[B]

Cause we went wild on text.

[A]

We did, right? Well, we'll do a text episode.

[B]

I said.

[A]

I said save it. Save it. What do you mean, save it for the. For the 25.

[B]

Should we just do it now in the moment, and then we'll cut it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, sometimes it's just good, right, to crack them open.

[A]

Yeah. It's just fun. Yeah. We just have a good time when we text.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's just good. You got to be sell. You got to be silly.

[B]

You got to be silly. You gotta let go.

[A]

The thing about the text is you can cross the line, you know, you can have a really good time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can have a really good.

[B]

Yeah, you have fun. And people are like, oh, but, like, don't. Like, they could see your text messages. I don't care anymore. Do you care anymore about, like, if the phone has your facial recognition technology and I can use your likeness? Who cares?

[A]

I don't care.

[B]

I truly don't care at all.

[A]

I don't care. Whatever. Whatever.

[B]

Take it. Take my Social Security number. I don't care.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, what are you resisting just to go with it? You got to submit.

[B]

You got to submit?

[A]

Yeah. I think that's what I said to you. I said I'm submitting, so I'm.

[B]

You submit to. You've submitted to Allah. You're going full Muslim now.

[A]

You just have to submit to it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's the only way because what.

[B]

What the little THC does is gets you. You get a cathartic laugh. You laugh a lot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're laughing every day. I don't laugh that much.

[A]

Because you're present right now.

[B]

That's what it does. Probably.

[A]

Yeah. It's bring you present. So you're present right now. You're here.

[B]

So I got to do more thc.

[A]

Well, you're gonna. That's gonna. You're gonna run into trouble that way.

[B]

But how does.

[A]

That's what we call a shortcut.

[B]

A shortcut?

[A]

Yeah. You're in a shortcut right now, but it's giving you evidence that when you're fully here, you're actually enjoying yourself immensely.

[B]

Yeah, because I never laugh. I never dance in concerts.

[A]

No, you just.

[B]

You.

[A]

Because you're somewhere else worrying about losing stuff. You're worrying about losing things. Constantly.

[B]

Constantly worried about the dark.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Walking, scared of the dark.

[A]

You're. You have a lot of fear in you now. Yeah.

[B]

But why?

[A]

Because of your childhood.

[B]

So how do I fix it?

[A]

You call up the town, you get a permit, and you get a roofer over and you let them bang around up there a little bit. You just need somebody to bang around up there a little bit.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But you gotta. You gotta. You gotta want it. You gotta like, want to go in there and like, really want it. You can't just go in there and talk about your day.

[B]

But then do.

[A]

You gotta talk about your feelings.

[B]

And then you go see the pros.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

Eventually. Little Prozac.

[A]

Then you go. You can go to. You could go to the pros.

[B]

Yeah, I want to go to the pros.

[A]

You could stop being amateur. You can go to the pros. You could call my boy Lex. Right? He'll take care of you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

A little. He's also a pro.

[B]

He's a pro?

[A]

Yeah, he's a pro. His little name's Lex. Pro.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, that's a basic. You. If you want to go basic, just go to Alexi. Lexi is sexy.

[B]

What's a good one? What's one that'll knock you out? Well, they gotties will.

[A]

Clownies will make you sleep.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But if you want a little space from the anxiety, Lexi's good for that Lexi little space for me.

[B]

Can you do a little Lexi and a little weed?

[A]

I think you can. But it's not more the Lexi. I think it's, you know, it's the roofer.

[B]

You need the roofer with the pro. You need the roofer who's a pro and then you need him to send you to the pros.

[A]

Yeah, I mean that's. But unless, you know, if you really want it. It depends on what you want. We're all free to. To find out what we want. But if you're enjoying it, because this is the first time I think I've ever seen you laugh and you cried.

[B]

I mean I was la crying with you never laugh.

[A]

You're never listening.

[B]

Listen, here's the thing. You got to do yourself a favor, everybody. You need to go to patreon.comhistoryHyenas, the Patreon episode that we just put up when we start playing videos of my Uncle Russell. It's the funny. I literally. You've never seen me laugh like that. My eyes were turning inside out. And then the 25 level. We just read last week's text messages and I almost started vomiting from laughing.

[A]

Yeah, we got a new series out there. Text. Where we're just gonna read our text once in a while up there and that's what you're just going to get at the 25 level.

[B]

So wait, cuz, before you went to the pros, did you. Were you not present or was not being present not your problem? You're always present.

[A]

No, I wasn't present. Yeah.

[B]

So now you know. It's a clear difference from what being present is and what being not present is.

[A]

I know there's a clear difference between being present and what not being present. I know there's a clear difference between having awareness about yourself. And I have a clear understanding about how you need to integrate your personality. You need to integrate yourself. You got to reintegrate yourself into one and accept all. There's things we put over here with shame. There's things over here from fear and we. They're away. You gotta bring that back all into you. So you're one full person. Good, the bad, the ugly.

[B]

So right now I'm six or seven different people?

[A]

You're about six or seven different people.

[B]

Yeah. But the thing is, it's fun being all these people.

[A]

If it's fun, then you just keep doing it. I mean, you're free to do what you gotta do. It's up to you. I mean, New York, I need to

[B]

get in the Pros.

[A]

Yeah. It's up to Jesse.

[B]

Do you feel like one person?

[A]

No, not at all.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like five different people.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I think we, you know, it depends on what you got. Look, I think everybody in here has got a little. A little leak.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Because, I mean, look at what we're doing.

[B]

I mean.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. This is, this, this. These types of career choices used to be only for leaky roofs. Yeah. Now everyone's doing it because they don't know what else to do.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But we've been doing it since only

[B]

leaky roof people we got into it

[A]

for because we have leaks in our roof.

[B]

It's just what it is. And usually, by the way, I love when we do an episode here, we're just promoting your other show the whole time where.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That show airs once every time the Olympics comes out.

[A]

I mean, you don't even know when it's coming. I mean, it could be once every three months.

[B]

Yeah. It's just whenever we get ads, whenever

[A]

there's ads, we may do it. But yeah, it's. It's a. It's a. I think we get into this because we got a leak. You got a little bit of a leak. And I think that that just is unresolved stuff. Just what you just gotta resolve because. Just bad feelings that you gotta learn how to feel and because bad feelings are not bad. They're a clue. Right? It's a clue. It's a clue trying to tell you something. You're trying to go look behind the door, number two.

[B]

Well, that's why people, I think, do major shortcuts. And they do a little thing called ayahuasca. Supposedly, all those things that are lurking, you see them with Iowa.

[A]

That way people.

[B]

No, I don't want to do ayahuasc.

[A]

I think that's a little bit of a shortcut, in my opinion.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But it works.

[B]

I like doing the thc. I always sleep good and then I get rested the next morning.

[A]

Well, that's good. But the only problem is you may end up getting dependent on that.

[B]

That's. That's the problem.

[A]

That's the problem.

[B]

Yeah. I mean. Well, I mean, cuz.

[A]

Well, the thing is, if you, if,

[B]

if, you know, if your wife turned around and told you that after you took her to the Backstreet Boys last week, she wants to go back in this weekend, you would need a little weed seltzer too.

[A]

That is a point I can't argue.

[B]

So it's like if that wasn't on That I probably wouldn't be having a weed seltzer in seven slices if I wasn't having to force myself to go back to Vegas to see a concert I didn't want to see in the first place.

[A]

Yeah. Well, that is a point I cannot argue.

[B]

I was so thankful to not have to go back to an airport.

[A]

Yeah, I can't argue that point. Yeah, yeah, that's. That's something I could say. I would have to double up on the Celtics.

[B]

Yeah, you just double up on a Celtic. And let me tell you something right now, you look very, very cute today. We established it on the Patreon. But your jeans are too tight and they're too close. Your jeans are close.

[A]

Well, that's the thing, is when I put on a little weight, everything gets a little tight.

[B]

But so, okay, because you said in the Patreon that you don't care at all about how you look. You don't care if you come in your ass 95% dirty. You'll wear, like, your clothes. But, like, don't you guys, as a fashionista, doesn't it bother you if your clothes are tight? Or how do you feel about that?

[A]

I just. Well, then I have to go buy on. I have. I have different waists. Right. And then I much like you. I'll try to put a bunch of jeans on. Yeah. And they just don't work. So I'll have to actually find the ones. I have to find my fat jeans.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So I gotta, like, look through and find them. And then for a while I was wearing all these jeans that I used to wear and it was great.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then now I can only fit into about two pair. So this is one of the two pair I could fit in.

[B]

Fitted too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they're close.

[A]

Squeeze. Like so.

[B]

And it's interesting too, because it's like. Yeah. I think that's my anxiety and stress too, because if I couldn't fit into my clothes, I'd cry. I've told you how many times I've cried about my weight. That has to be anxiety and unresolved issues.

[A]

There's no other option. Cuz.

[B]

Cuz I mean, the fact that I cry if my clothes don't fit. My uncle's a cat judge. Is the 10.

[A]

Yeah, it's a 10.

[B]

Yeah. And my mom hides the beers under the vegetables.

[A]

Very funny. Yeah. And if. If you're truly crying, if you can't fit into your pants, like, truly crying.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That means there's unresolved issues.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

There's no other Option Ye. Because you shouldn't be crying.

[B]

Yeah. Cause it happened to me.

[A]

I'll put it to you. I'll put it.

[B]

When I went to the Knicks game on Tuesday. Yeah.

[A]

I'll put it simply. This is the way, you know, if you're crying at things you're not supposed to be crying at.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then there's what we call an unresolved issue.

[B]

So as a man who's got a perfectly, thankfully happy, healthy family and life, if I cry four days out of seven, that's a problem.

[A]

That means that there's what we call. And I'll say it again, unresolved issues.

[B]

It's what it is.

[A]

Yeah, there's. Because it's can't be about that, right? It's not about that.

[B]

Yeah. Because I like to cry a lot.

[A]

If you're running the water in the bathroom to take a piss. Right. Why is that?

[B]

Right.

[A]

You don't need to run the water to go to the bathroom, but you're doing it because you need some noise. You get a little anxiety.

[B]

Yeah. I need to have my phone.

[A]

Yeah. Like something, whatever.

[B]

I need to play music.

[A]

Yeah, you need something like. So you're scared to be alone.

[B]

Scared to be like, would you.

[A]

It's probably big that you're scared to be alone. That's probably why, like, you may disappear or you'll be unsafe or something.

[B]

Well, that's probably why I love New York City so much. Because you. I never feel like I'm alone.

[A]

That's probably why.

[B]

Yeah, right. And that's why the country bugs me out a little bit.

[A]

Probably. Yeah, it's probably.

[B]

But some people are just the opposite. They like to be alone.

[A]

But here's the thing. Because all your problems or whatever make you a very charming kid. So it's. Whatever you want to do. You're going to be fine either way. As long as you're not taking girls to an island.

[B]

Which I'm not.

[A]

Which. That's a good time. It's a good time not to have an island.

[B]

It's what it is. Well, I am taking girls to island. It's called fucking Treasure island in Las Vegas.

[A]

You would think that people would say, I got an island, I'm happy. But it just shows you nobody's ever happy because the kid was rich enough to have his own island. He was like, that's not good enough.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I need to transport miners across state lines to my. To my island now and give them away.

[B]

That's Jeffrey Epstein we're going to talk about. But who a lot of people don't talk about is his partner in crime, Ghislaine Maxwell's father, Robert Maxwell. Because this is the one who started it all.

[A]

Because supposedly this is.

[B]

You might not have any Jeffrey Epstein without Robert Maxwell. Cause right now I'm feeling a little buzzed and you know what I could really use is a hard. That's why I turned a blue chew. I like to chew them.

[A]

Blue chew will get you nice and rock hard. Get you saluting, get you up. Hey, let's be honest. Even if you got no problems down there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It doesn't hurt to give your dick a little steroids.

[B]

Give it a little steroids. Do you think gay guys sometimes like to just eat blue chews off each other's limb cocks?

[A]

I think so, yeah, they do, yeah. If you want to go for round two, three and four, you gotta go and get yourself a blue chew gold that dissolves under your tongue and works in as little as 15 minutes. That means you can get in quicker and stay in the game longer because.

[B]

Could I put blue cheese on pizza?

[A]

You could get blue.

[B]

Can I, can I cut up, can I smash them up and put them in a little carvel?

[A]

Yeah. I wonder if you, if you put, if you took a Bluetooth and stuffed it in your ass, would it still get your bloodstream and pot and make you bone? Give you a boner cuds because that almost feels like you're putting in a dick slot.

[B]

If I put a Bluetooth in my ass, the only thing would do would probably knock some of the out of it.

[A]

Make life easier by getting harder and discover your [e-mail] and we've got a special deal for our listeners. Get 10 off your first month of Blue Chew Gold with the code Hyenas. That's promo code hyenas. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluechew for sponsoring the history hyenas. I don't know if there's a better online place to shop than quints.

[B]

I've honestly you. You got your jacket that you got. I sent you a link of the same ish jacket for half the price. I like I have about five sweatshirts from there. My winter jacket that I'm wearing right now from Quince right over there. I got bedding from there, I got socks from there. Cuz I'm fucking Quincy Jones.

[A]

Yeah. So all you got to do is go download the Quince app and peruse for yourself. They work directly with top factories and cut out the middleman so that's why it's so affordable.

[B]

Get your skinny pants from there, your fat pants from there, whatever you need.

[A]

You're not paying for brand markup, just quality clothing. Everything is built to hold up to daily wear and look good season after season. Yes. So check this out. Refresh your wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com hyenas for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U I N C E.com hyenas free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com/hyenas it's very interesting to think that this guy, you know, his, his legacy was. Is one of the most infinite in his. I mean, infamous in history. Right, Right. But he's been upstaged by his daughter, who was his favorite child, but she was his favorite child. Not because he picked her to, like, take over the business and all that. That she willed herself, according to their mother. She wrote a book. The mother wrote a book, later, talked about what kind of piece of this guy was.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she said, my daughter willed her. Willed herself into being his favorite kid.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So all she cared about was pleasing her dad.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And the way you do that with a narcissist piece of like, like Robert is you just give him whatever he wants, whatever he's into, you're into. You just mirror whatever he is. And so he, he doted over her so much, he named his yacht the Lady Jizzling or whatever it was called. Lady Gasoline. I like to call it Gasoline Maxwell.

[B]

Maxwell. Yeah.

[A]

And that's the. That's the. That is the boat that he fell off when he tripped over his shoelace and he chased the tingle right into the water.

[B]

So he was perfectly healthy and just died in a boating accident.

[A]

He was. He was in his 60s and, yeah, there was no health.

[B]

He chased a tingle, meaning he was running after a girl and he fell.

[A]

Meaning when you look at his life. No, when you look at his life. Right. He had a very interesting life. Robert Maxwell. He was a very, very, very poor Orthodox Jew from Czech. From the Czech Republic.

[B]

I thought he was British.

[A]

Well, this is the thing. So his real name is not Robert Maxwell. So his real name is like something like that. And his real name is Jan Ludwig Heinman. Binyamin Hosh. Yeah. He grew up like, in a very, like, extreme poverty, like no shoes type poverty in this orthodox Jewish community. And he left. He was a smart kid and he left. And he left it like he went to France and along the way he was just learning languages. The guy ended up speaking like nine languages.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

So he leaves and at that time Nazi Germany starts doing what they did.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So he ends up with.

[B]

It was our version of collectivism.

[A]

Yeah, that's the way to call it.

[B]

Everyone's just going to get together and all going to go through that door.

[A]

You're going to go through that door together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you put a glove on to open the door because it's hot.

[B]

It's what it is.

[A]

Yeah. And so he goes, he makes his way to Britain and he joins the military there and he ends up becoming like a fucking ferocious warrior, right? Like he, he's in firefights and you know, he ends up making it to intelligence because of his language skills.

[B]

But he was a sick fighter.

[A]

He was a sick fighter. He won some medal of bravery for something. He gets into the intelligence branch of the British military. Right, Right. And then the war is over and he goes back to check and he's in charge of sort of some post war administration. And that's where the, we get the first controversies about him. That this is a trauma baked kid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So he, he's one of the, he ends up looking the other way on a lot of the atrocities that were done to former Nazis or citizens who were German or whatever. He, he lets the torturing happen. Big, big. And before he can be tried or anything happens, he just bounces. He's back and he's back in England. So a little controversy there that he skirts around. There was no Internet there, so he just got away with it. He was probably pretty cruel to POWs

[B]

and stuff like that, what it was.

[A]

Yeah, the kid got some revenge, right. Then he goes back there, he changes his name to Robert Maxwell to sound like very British. He officially changed his name. He becomes a British citizen because he's a war hero and he kind of rides that out, right. Then the next thing you know, he ends up being a ruthless businessman and he ends up buying the Daily Mirror. Right. The Daily Mirror becomes his thing and

[B]

it was this paper.

[A]

Yeah, it was. He, he becomes. He purchased the Mirror Group newspapers and the Daily Mirror becomes like his thing. That's this thing. He's got other stuff going on too. He's a big hostile takeovers, like he's doing it all. A vicious businessman.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Early on he had, he founded the Pergamon Press and he wanted to take it public or he wanted to sell it. And then the, the company he was selling it to ran an audit on Their numbers. And that's when he was publicly disgraced. The first time the kid was skimming, kid was stealing big, right? And so it was a big story too. But he's.

[B]

What was he robbing?

[A]

He was robbing money. He's just robbing a lot of money. So then that's a big story in England. But somehow he goes back and he starts purchasing all the shares of Paragon.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And he gets back on the board somehow and he does a hostile takeover and takes the company back.

[B]

It's what it is.

[A]

Yeah. So he's just a kid who's resilient, but also as sleazy as they come.

[B]

He's pushy. He's.

[A]

He is a pushy, pushy guy. Yeah, he's very pushy. So then from there, after all this controversy is known about him. Him, he, he ends up making the big purses purchase of the Mirror Group. And then he runs a very successful paper to the Daily Mirror. He uses it as his propaganda arm and he writes bad stories about his rivals. Him and Rupert Murdoch are rivals. His paper is more like the left wing paper. Rupert Murdoch's is more like the right paper.

[B]

Did Rupert Murdoch ever go on Epstein's island or.

[A]

No, we don't know. I don't. We don't know. I don't. Haven't heard him yet. No, no, no. And then he, he uses it. He's very pro Israel in his, in his article, in his, in his Daily Mirror and he lives, he gets rich. He has nine kids. The oldest one dies, goes into a coma and dies. Trauma. He, he cheats on his wife constantly. He's got hoes in all the area codes. He's, he puts, he pits his kids against each other. Very tough. He was kind of like Menendez senior, right? Without all the sexual abuse and he was just kind of a dick.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then he becomes a member of Parliament for a little while. He just gets into high society, right? But it. His skit then, then, but his scandal, he's known like, he's known as like a bad dude, right? He's still pushing his way in there.

[B]

He just gets in.

[A]

He just gets in. And then the big, big scandal hits and it was like one of the biggest in business history. He. He stole like 400 million from his company, from his employees, from their pensions, their pension. So he was just running up a tab, stealing all his employees monies.

[B]

And how did he not go to jail for that?

[A]

So it was all in the work. That's what was going down when, when we Lost them. So he, he used the mirror group pension money to prop up other failing companies and support his stock price. So he was basically running a version of a Ponzi scheme. He was stealing from his employees to pay for his other shit.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So he was just in debt and he was disgraced and he owed all this money. And make no mistake, this is one of the largest scandals. This is up there with, with Bernie Madoff.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Huge. Right. So it's actually considered like one of the largest corporate scams in history. And so. And he's a well known guy in high society, so he's completely disgraced at this point. He sends before this, he sent Giselaine Maxwell to America to be sort of his social scout. She doesn't do except party meets people and networks for help him. So that's what she's doing. And he has two twin boys running his company. They're like the vice president and they all got by this. Right. So the, the theory is, the theory is he either killed himself because he was. His back was against the wall and it was all falling apart. In my opinion, he doesn't seem like the type of guy that would continue to fight.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Figure something out because he already had been disgraced big once before and came back.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Right. So he's a known thief. He's a known piece of shit.

[B]

Right.

[A]

He was able to bounce back. He goes on his. He goes on his yacht with his wife and the staff and he's like, sail me to the Canary Islands or some shit. And then one night he just mysteriously falls off the boat. Right. They do a quick autopsy. They close. They do the same thing with Epstein. Quick off. Does he have a heart attack? And they say heart attack, that's.

[B]

What if his body fell into the water?

[A]

Just fell into the water? Yeah, he felt. So they, they say he had a heart attack and he fell into the water. Right. So.

[B]

But maybe he did. But you think somebody made him have a heart attack?

[A]

Well, the theory is, and this sounds very much like his personality, the theory is, is he was a big time Mossad asset.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, because he was in bed with intelligence from all over. He wasn't exclusive either. He was just. He loved Israel and he was working, they say he was, but he also to the highest bidder, he was, he was like a quadruple agent. He was using his, you know, he was using his leverage in the world for money, for influence, for political right. He would use it if the politicians would go easy on regulating him, whatever. He was just a Player. Yeah, he was a dirty player. And so they suspect this author wrote a book. And a few other people are saying, well, what could have happened? Or according to this one guy who's a little his. He's not that he's a. Supposedly a former ex Mossad guy who says what happened was, is that there was some big arms deal that he was involved in, much like they're saying Jeffrey Epstein might have been involved. And it's interesting, like similar types of people without this pedophilia shit that we know of. He was, he was. Did some arms deal on. And he was the liaison, the middleman between Israel and whatever arms deal. And it was like a big scandalous arms deal. And he was threatening to reveal that unless the Mossad paid him $400 million to get him out of his debt.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And the Mossad was like, no, we're just gonna get rid of you. And since you're threatening to blackmail us. Yeah, you're now a threat to us. And so now we're gonna make you chase the tingle right into the ocean.

[B]

It's just what it is.

[A]

So. And he was a kid who loved the tingle. He was a big gambler. Yeah, he was a big. He liked to gamble with these companies. Women were like. It was crazy how many women he would bang out.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So he was a kid who liked to chase the tingle.

[B]

It's just what it is.

[A]

And then when you threaten the Mossad and try to blackmail Mossad, you're a kid who likes the tingle.

[B]

You'll get killed fit at. And then. So wait, so then he gets. But then the interesting thing is he then gets this Israel state held funeral.

[A]

That's the thing.

[B]

So that tells you that not only was he Mossad, he's probably very high up in the Mossad.

[A]

Yeah. And they also someone gave a speech at his. Someone high up gave a speech at that funeral and said he's done more for Israel that I. Than I can say. Or something. It was, if we can pull the exact quote, it was something praised him as a great friend in Israel. But there was also a specific quote where he was like, he's done more for Israel than I can say or something. Something cryptic like that.

[B]

Right.

[A]

He obviously, I mean, yeah. I mean, he's not an Israeli citizen.

[B]

No.

[A]

So it's like, what is this?

[B]

What is this?

[A]

What is this? Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And his daughter, of course, Ghislaine Maxwell. And this is where, you know, everything gets tied. Because maybe Ghislaine, right. Maybe, maybe gasoline was also Masada. Recruited Epstein. Is that possible?

[A]

Well, that. That's what we don't know. But here specifically, it was called the. What is it? How do you pronounce this, Jess?

[B]

Venunu Mordecai Vanunu.

[A]

Yeah. So this was in 1986. Vanunu revealed details of Israel's nuclear program to the Sunday Times. Shortly after, Venunu was lured to Rome by a Mossad operative. He was kidnapped and secretly taken to Israel. He spent 18 years in prison. Seymour Hersh, who's a famous investigative journalist in America, claimed in his book the Samson Option, that Maxwell tipped off Israeli authorities that the Sunday Times was preparing, sharing the venue news story. If true, that would mean Maxwell directly assisted Mossad in stopping or mitigating a major nuclear leak. This claim has never been definitely proven, but it remains one of the most widely cited pieces of evidence. And I love Seymour Hearst, but he also wrote a book saying that Oswald operated on his own. So, you know.

[B]

Yeah, it's just what it is. And we just kind of know now. How do they have different. Now they have different camera angles.

[A]

Yeah, well, JFK, supposedly they got one that's worth 900 mil, right?

[B]

Oh, that's right. We did it last week.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Mint Mobile. Our man, Ryan Reynolds.

[A]

Yeah, talk to me about Mint Mobile. Is it Mint?

[B]

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[A]

In the mid-90s.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or 180 for 12 months. Plan required, $15 a month. Equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only over 50 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. Capable device required. Availability, speed and coverage varies. Addition Tax act understands you haven't memorized the tax code. That's why TaxAct has live experts to help. TaxAct can even do it for you if you prefer. It's the easiest way to know you're doing it right. Well, other than going back to college and obtaining a bachelor's degree in accounting with a minor in finance, then interning somewhere and becoming fluent in all tax forms. But that might be hard to accomplish before tax day, so maybe just stick with Tax Act. Tax act, let's get them over with with, you know, terms apply. See mint mobile.com I want Carvel big. So several journalists have argued that he was an access broker rather than a former spy. Just like I said, he operated as like a middleman.

[B]

Maybe that's what Epstein was too, Right.

[A]

It seems like that's definitely part of it.

[B]

Were not involved with CIA or FBI or.

[A]

Or you could say, like, how would the intelligence agencies not be interested in them? You know, it's like there's no way, you know, it's just sort of like they're gonna be aware. I mean, Maxwell was an obvious asset to Israel because he was, you know, a big wig in the press and shaped public opinion.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Propaganda is a big part. You wanna. You want the stories about Israel to be nice and shiny, Right? So it's like, it's just. That's how the world operates, right? Power game.

[B]

It's just all a power game because.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Power game. And we're a couple of power bottoms.

[A]

We're a couple power bottoms. And I mean, what Epstein was doing, you know, even if he wasn't doing all the sex trafficking and minor stuff, he would still be somebody based on who he seemed to know and talk to that would be interesting to governments, intelligence agencies.

[B]

Well, now his brother, the guy that we met, now his brother I saw is in the newspaper because all the build. His brother owns all the buildings. And now they're finding out in the Epson emails that one of these buildings on like 66th street was where they would keep all the models. Yeah, but his brother's the one that owns the building.

[A]

Yeah, it was like some apartment building where he let all this.

[B]

Had like nine apartments in one building.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And the brother. Yeah.

[A]

Mark Epstein. Is that him? Doesn't look like him. That's not the guy.

[B]

Put. Yeah, put. That's not him. There it go. Go to the right a little bit. Just with the clicker. Right. That's him. Yeah, you know, with the glasses.

[A]

That's him.

[B]

Him.

[A]

We met him.

[B]

Wild boy.

[A]

And he was going to come to the Comedy Cellar.

[B]

Yeah, he's a good. He's. He actually was pretty nice guy.

[A]

Seems like a nice guy.

[B]

Charming guy.

[A]

Funny, though. He too has like a working class Brooklyn Jewish accent.

[B]

So Jeffrey Epstein did too, right? Yeah, yeah. I never heard his accent.

[A]

I mean, his dad, Jeffrey Epstein's dad worked for the Parks Department. He was just like a guy, right?

[B]

I mean, he was just. He was just a kid from Brooklyn, right?

[A]

He was just a kid from Brooklyn who dropped out of college, then all of a sudden and was recommended to Bill Barr's father, who was the headmaster at Dalton, to be a teacher there. And then he was a teacher there for two years of math and physics. He'd never had a job before. It was his first job. He just. Boom. What?

[B]

He obviously must have known math and physics.

[A]

It sounds like that's you're. You're creating a life for someone. You're starting off someone have legitimacy.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, that's what it seems like.

[B]

Oh, so. Oh, that's interesting.

[A]

Yeah. You usually can't get a job without a master. So you think.

[B]

Oh, so it didn't start. It started when he was like in his twenties.

[A]

Started.

[B]

Started grooming them and then getting him up there.

[A]

Otherwise, it makes. No, it just doesn't make sense. It just, you know, what Lex Wegner did for him doesn't make sense. Unless you're creating someone, you're creating an ass. It just doesn't make sense. But here's the thing. Bill Barr's American. Lex Wegner's American. So maybe he's a CIA asset. It's just as possible or probable. I mean, of course he's. He's friends. He was had. Buddy. Buddy with what, Echo, Baruch, whatever his name is. The former Prime Minister of Israel. Oh, yeah, they got them on tape. He's constantly hanging out with him. But you know, these governments, you know, especially if they're allies. They all work together.

[B]

Right?

[A]

They all work together. So.

[B]

And then do you think it was by chance Jeffrey and Gasoline Maxwell met, or you think that was all coordinated, too?

[A]

Well, by that time, her life was in shambles when she met Epstein, right? Like, she had no money.

[B]

Her.

[A]

Her brothers were at trial.

[B]

Her dad was dead already.

[A]

Her brother was owed 400 million. It was on him because they worked. Dad's dead. The brothers get off. They. They. Because the defense goes, oh, they were victims of the dad. And so, you know, they get off. But she's in New York and she's just got nothing. She's nobody more. She's also disgraced. Like, her family name is now.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It's like, gross. Like, everyone's whispering. Her father. Yeah. And she meets Jeffrey Epstein in, and they have a romantic relationship. And then the next thing you know, she's like. It's the main episode, so I can't say it that way. But she's handling his properties. He puts her in charge of all the. But she's just running his.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, look, Maxwell, the. The fact that they haven't killed her is. Just makes me feel like. Like, does she even really know anything? Why did she plead the Fifth on everything in Congress? It still just doesn't make sense because wouldn't you think that in order for her to get out of prison, she would just tell everything she knows and cut a deal?

[A]

Want her to talk like, you know, I don't know. I don't know. Those are very good questions. I don't know. But these emails that are coming out are interesting. Who knows? But it's interesting because Jeffrey Epstein was. Is kind of like her dad. Dad, like, suspected of being a spy. So it's very Freudian, isn't it?

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

It's almost like Freudian.

[B]

Right. That's what she just shows.

[A]

We always go after someone who reminds us of our mothers or fathers.

[B]

Mothers are fathers. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, and then. And then. And she's involved in another. Like, the family's involved in, like, another massive scandal.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, they're just scandalous people. There what we call pushy people.

[A]

It's interesting to think what made Robert Maxwell what he is. Right. You know, war, poverty. You know, he probably got to be driven by something. He was driven probably to never feel helpless and poor again.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So that's when you can't shut it off. You know like how you were saying those guys would tease you and make you go outside in the football helmet, then you use it as motivation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But then you switched it off when you switch off.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This guy probably just couldn't switch that off. Yeah.

[B]

And he just.

[A]

Just kept going and then needed a new one.

[B]

So he was never happy, this guy.

[A]

Of course not.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can't be happy that way.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You're just in a constant state of Revenge. Yeah, you can see, you know, because he. That's how he was. He was. He was that like that with his enemies in business. He was just always obsessed and trying to get revenge.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So. All right, little like Trumpy. Trumpy's like that a little bit. Yeah, Trump is a little like that.

[B]

I mean, listen.

[A]

Seeks revenge.

[B]

It seeks revenge at all costs. Yeah. I mean, fucking Robert Maxwell. Interesting. Interesting kid. I mean, free Galane.

[A]

No, free her. Free her natty titties.

[B]

She has natty.

[A]

She's got nice titties and she.

[B]

Jeffrey Epstein was ripped and kind of cute.

[A]

He was kind of cute as.

[B]

Can we just be honest? Are there anybody who thinks Jeffrey Epstein's a zaddy?

[A]

He's a little bit.

[B]

What girl out there says Epstein's a. Hey, zaddy.

[A]

Not a bad looking guy.

[B]

Jeffrey Epstein's kind of a cute guy. Let's be honest. He's got good hair, good bone structure, and he's kind of Jack. Let's be honest with ourselves. Jeffrey Epstein's kind of hottie with a body.

[A]

I mean, the kid without his shirt on, he definitely took care of himself.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, let's be. I mean, look at that one in the tight. Wh. You don't think I've absolutely hit the ham candles that a couple of times. I mean, the kid is just got a good. Good jacked. Nice bod.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's what it is.

[A]

Gross.

[B]

I mean this guy, this guy's a member of Parliament who's. Winnie the Pooing it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's just got his shirt and his turtle in it.

[A]

He's just his tidy white. He said the kid just. He had to resign because he denied

[B]

it all and said that he never went to the island. And then somebody posted.

[A]

Posted that and then we just had the. The.

[B]

That's not good.

[A]

The head of Chase bank just had to resign too.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Former Obama White House counsel.

[B]

What the hell?

[A]

Well, she was corresponding with Jeffrey after he was sex offender and they were like, you know, he got people to really be loose.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like people would talk very loose. I mean, Deepak Joker, we joked about that. People were very. This chick was looser. She called him Uncle Jeffrey. Like.

[B]

Right.

[A]

They just.

[B]

How do they put their guards down?

[A]

So, because the kid was just full of charisma.

[B]

Like, like his brother. We met his brother.

[A]

Yeah, the kid was just full of charisma. I mean, there was a reason, I think think he was probably propped up and groomed to be who he was.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because none of this is his right. That's the thing that's interesting. And it's so funny that it's taken so long to be like, should we talk to Lex Wexner?

[B]

Yeah, because it's like, he wasn't rich. He was just giving things.

[A]

He was giving every. So it's like, why are we not asking Les Wex. What's his name? Les Wexner.

[B]

Lex Wesner.

[A]

Why are we not going, hey, dude, what's up?

[B]

Right, because he had.

[A]

None of. This was his. He didn't have any business.

[B]

Business. Right.

[A]

One client.

[B]

Right.

[A]

He had one client, Lex Wagner, and it wasn't even a client. Lex Wegnitzers gave him power of attorney, gave him all these houses and just.

[B]

Yeah, that was all those things that Jeffrey Epstein owned. It's actually Wexner bought them.

[A]

Fucking Wexner. Just giving him money and saying, manage my money. Do this, do whatever. You know, people say he had. He was, you know, good at math and he was doing all these business for business for people, but, like, there's no record of. Of it.

[B]

Right?

[A]

So maybe he was doing it off the book.

[B]

Yeah, maybe he was good at math, but maybe he was doing illegal shit.

[A]

I don't know. But as far as we know. As far as we know, he bought Lex Les Wexner's house, which is the biggest townhouse in New York City, for $1. It's what it is from Les Wexner. So it's just a. It's a story that's full of, like, weird shit.

[B]

My question is, because I don't. I don't really remember. I'd like to go back in time. Like when he got arrested right before he died, like, whatever is 2018, 2019. Was he, like, a known gu. Was he already, like, famous in the news because of his crimes? Or people have just like. Like, why did they make this story such a big news story when he got arrested?

[A]

Well, here's the. Well, here's the thing that's even crazier. So he got arrested in 2008 in Florida.

[B]

But it wasn't like a big public thing.

[A]

It was. It was a big public thing. It just wasn't the day of the Internet. So how many people cared about the news?

[B]

Right?

[A]

How many people cared back then? Nobody was arguing about politics. People didn't know anything.

[B]

So. But that's my question. Even right there, like, him not being a famous guy or whatever, like, why would the news care about a pedophile who at that point wasn't famous at all? Or was he famous back then?

[A]

He was known as like a big,

[B]

like an elite, elite billionaire socialite.

[A]

Yeah. Social known guy. Okay, so in 2008, he gets convicted of this stuff.

[B]

Right, Right.

[A]

And Alex Acosta.

[B]

Is that his name?

[A]

Alex Acosta? His last name's a cost Costa.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Is the prosecutor on there? And he gets this crazy, crazy sweetheart deal where he pleads guilty to one thing or whatever. He gets like 13 months. But he. He's the 13 month he's allowed to leave the jail and go to work.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's like he sleeps at the prison and then he spends all day wherever he claims he worked.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So I mean, it's crazy, right?

[B]

He's.

[A]

This is a child trafficker. Right, Right. And they just say, you could go to work and then here's the crazy shit. Yet part of his deal is he or any of his co conspirators can never be federally prosecuted. What the is that?

[B]

That's why.

[A]

How wild is that? So all you have to do is just like, I think this happened at a time before the Internet where people did. The elites didn't see this coming.

[B]

Right.

[A]

They could just kind of be bold about this.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like, because they were like, nobody's listening.

[B]

Nobody.

[A]

Only people are reading about this. Or people who don't probably know Jeffrey Epstein.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So who gives a shit, right? So, yeah, he pleads guilty to this. In exchange for pleading guilty to this, they give him complete immunity. And all his co conspirators. Yeah, all his co conspirators complete immunity from federal prosecution in the future.

[B]

But then why, but then how did they arrest him again? And they were.

[A]

Because they got him on another law. They were like. It got so. There was so much outrage about. There was so much, much talk, like, public.

[B]

Because people were. See, see, because we were talking before. How come no models ever say this or that? Jesse, remember we were saying. But I think they did back then. They're all getting together saying, we were raped, we were this, we were that. But maybe they're just not on the Internet now. But they said it back then. Yeah, I don't know.

[A]

Maybe. Yeah. 2019 is. Is when they. Oh, it's because that chick came forward and it was the MeToo movement. It was a bunch of stuff.

[B]

That's why it got Guthrie chick came

[A]

forward and she started making. Doing a civil suit and the MeToo movement. And there was the pressure and they were just like, all right, maybe we should. Maybe we should let him be the fall guy and then we'll end it there. And then they'll stop. It's always been. And then they'll stop asking. Right. They just keep hoping people are going to move on.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And the problem is people are just not moving.

[B]

Not this one. Not going to move on because don't

[A]

seem to be moving on. But how funny is that deal?

[B]

It's a very funny deal.

[A]

So even there you're going like. I mean it's got to be somebody important to other powerful people in order for him to get that, sweetheart.

[B]

I mean cuz I just hope I get that deal.

[A]

That's a good deal.

[B]

You know what else they got a deal.

[A]

Carvel. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Cuz I want to read these Patreon names. We got the newest members of the matriarchy that came through and I want to read out some of these names. As always, you get whoever we think the funniest name is wins the PPW the pseudo penis of the week. And I'm too high to remember the website other than patreon.comhistory.

[A]

hey, he knows. Let's do it.

[B]

Hit by a Frisbee space laser. Now I look like a Leroy Roy. You gay? I'm not gay, but I love to cuddle. I kissed Barack's and drowned in a puddle.

[A]

That's a message from the chef from beyond the grave.

[B]

Just what it is.

[A]

That's a big time direction. That's very funny.

[B]

Swim. Then we got Urban man knocks a shouty up and splits. AKA Womb of the Unknown. Leroy, you got that? Womb of the Unknown. Like Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Okay, so no, that's whatever. Christian Nickerson, Jeremy and Chanel Mike. Frisbee Showers established 1940s sponsored by Juglue. Yeah, no more of these. This is stupid. DJ Spinelli still a virgin. Call it the Father Bill Loophole. Matty Davis tramp. Matthew Marufi. Glue gun is stuck. Call me Army Jammer.

[A]

Oh, instead of Army Hammer. Good try like that. I'll chicken finger that way one.

[B]

All right. Yeah. Trent Travis Miller. Gay Venezuelan singer. Call me Elton. Juan. Matt. Matt Yler Wee wee. Sperman.

[A]

Drexler.

[B]

Chrissy's guy in his ex girlfriend was actually a guy on his knees.

[A]

Drexler.

[B]

Drexler. Megan Hexerpath. Mexican. O me GLPY1 GOP1 like GLP1 GLP.

[A]

Juan is that GOP1?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Very fun. Drexler. It's a little Drexler heavy.

[B]

Giannis is one big sneeze away from being a Cyclops. Which El Salvador prison did y' all send Venetia to? Chrissy D's realtor Maria Smigels. My character piece was a piece of your character. William Lang. Brandon Link. Anthony David. David got Bobby Lee's vision so Putin can do no wrong. Okay.

[A]

It's pretty decent.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's pretty decent.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I'm gonna drex for that.

[B]

Had to break up with my GF when she said my meat candle tastes like her father. Bill's way. Sean, not again.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. Renee.

[A]

Good.

[B]

Driver's ed. Try it. It's worth a shot. Okay. James Ash.

[A]

I mean, that is so walked into one.

[B]

Yeah, I know, I know, I know. Moved to Westchester to leave the Leroy. But now I'm in the middle of an ultimate Frisbee tournament. List.

[A]

I'm gonna list it.

[B]

All right. All right.

[A]

It's a walk through to one. Kind of, but it's more.

[B]

List.

[A]

This is.

[B]

This is how.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We've never went this far without. This is the first one.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Chris. Chris Pace. Witch Hazel tickets. Professor Mike. Hold on, let me just do one more page.

[A]

I'll give a chicken finger to the witch. Witch Hazel tickets.

[B]

Very funny.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

Off the beam and flicking the bean. Erica Fogelman. Foreskin balloon gives me a few inches. Cole. Justin Pano. Teresa. Call me Carly, son. The way I tucked it. Okay. Nathaniel Reed. Yummy. Puddles Dylan. Yogurt Slinger 69. Make no mistake, I'd call through glass to hear Mariana Atencio fart through a radio. It's what it is.

[A]

Put them on the list.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Put them on the list. Put them on the list. Sorry to. I don't want disparagement, friend, but it's too funny. Yeah.

[B]

It's just. Yeah, that's hilarious.

[A]

Too funny.

[B]

Yeah. Tiger Maximovis. Rub a dub dub Mind Micro Tropical Chubb.

[A]

Put him on the list.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

There you go. Put him on the list.

[B]

Yeah. Sat on Pinocchio's face and forced him to tell me he loves me.

[A]

Drexler.

[B]

Funny.

[A]

Yeah, very funny. Any other day.

[B]

My fume forest keeps me warm for the winter. Okay.

[A]

Fume forest is very funny way to refer to your pubes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm going to Drex of that fume forest.

[B]

Nimble aside, walking down Fifth Avenue and Frisbees keep asking me if I'm circumcised so I can come party Montenegro. Not a cowboy. Black. Black spick. Oh.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah, these are just. Yeah.

[A]

Not a cowboy.

[B]

These are slurs. Well, the slur. A black stick with a small dick. Call it my Leroy Wood Jr. And that's sit.

[A]

Not that bad?

[B]

Yeah. WX Ian Griffith. Kenneth Waddle. Mama Taylor, William North. Jungle Fever. Straight to the black. Psychosis is red on twitch. Tik tok. YouTube screwed in. There you go.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

If I'm a Minnesota manatee who wants a do over the Squeaks basketball team? Hugh G. Rechin. Oh, Hu. Hu Re. Action. Just here for the jokes. Leroy's learning center. Lost my mind and my foreign peace. What's hatching under them? Frisbees. Cuz.

[A]

List. It. It's just funny. It's just straight funny.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Joe Rogan smokes in the Buddha position. Hooked on Ibana. Dan Soder's hair. Tits. Ashkin Yatsiani. Glue gun Galley.

[A]

Glue gun Galley. Chicken finger.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Brett Eggleston at the driving range in Auschwitz. Call that Frisbee golf. Okay, no more of these.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's do one more page. Let's. We're gonna get some bangers. List is a little light. Anisha, Kulavila. Bronson. Titus. Grandpa used Frisbees as clay pigeons. I'm Austrian. As sliced is. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Ryan L. Chris named his dog after his favorite dictator. AKA Josephine Stalin. Chrissy ate my chicken finger. It's what it is. Connor. Gordon. Chrissy and Giannis are. A couple of you ran into that one, Chris.

[A]

Oh, you got it.

[B]

What? Oh, yeah.

[A]

What did he say?

[B]

And then parentheses. You ran into that one, Chris.

[A]

Oh. Because.

[B]

Yeah. He know. Yeah.

[A]

You got you.

[B]

Yeah. Deep.

[A]

Deep.

[B]

Slake. Stuck a traffic cone up my ass to see how it felt. It's nothing to write home about. Please call me an ambulance.

[A]

C. Put him on the list. Put him on the list. Put them on.

[B]

An interesting thing. Yeah. Put.

[A]

It's very. It's very, very inventive. And the kid, you know, the kid tried something.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which I like that he's not afraid to experiment.

[B]

Yeah. It's good for. He's. Yeah.

[A]

Try new things.

[B]

Not blocked off by his anxiety.

[A]

No.

[B]

Pat. Pat spat. Chrissy. Throw on the giant's helmet and heels and let me tickle the pseudo tit. Till you scream. I'll. Till you scream Albany in front of Maurice. I don't know.

[A]

It's too weird because we were talking about that.

[B]

It happens every episode.

[A]

Crazy. That's so weird. It's prophetic.

[B]

Yeah. Never met a Frisbee that I liked. It's not right. Well, you never met Jesse. He's in amazing history. Hyenas, question mark. Third door on the right. Hey, Dean. I know you're listening. Sorry I banged your girlfriend. I didn't know how else to tell you.

[A]

Contender. Absolutely.

[B]

Contender is probably the truth.

[A]

Yeah, it's probably the truth. Either way. It's very inventive.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We got ourselves a contender.

[B]

And it's all one word.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Lively duderman. Mike Rope and Anna's micropen and conqueredor.

[A]

We've had that.

[B]

I'm an off the free hole. Cuban monkey. Big player. Nurse Kenny Rn Rectum. Damn near killed him. Roman Fedorenko. Dan Sutherland. Tyler. Pedro Fortunato. Ross Finkelstein. Bert Chrysler 300. Griffin Heltz. Head straight to the back.

[A]

Oh, come on.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

They are inventive, though.

[B]

Jamie McReynolds. Yeah. Jamin McReynolds. Even Chrissy's new house has a leaky roof. Lightning.

[A]

Yeah, it's a funny one. Lightning directs to that one.

[B]

Lightning McQueef. Somali Simon Bolivar. Slok s off the rails, but on the beam. Lassie Pierce, David Harrell. A 50 cent. Sloppy seconds. Call me joke. Koi.

[A]

Oh, because of. They both banged Chelsea handler.

[B]

What? Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. Well, hold on. Well, that's the list.

[A]

I'm going to give that one a chicken finger.

[B]

All right, Give it a chicken finger. Okay, so here we go. So it's not. They're not knockouts, but we do have.

[A]

You'll be surprised. Yeah, you'd be surprised.

[B]

Okay, so here. So we. We'll take it. So here is the list so far. Make no mistake, I'd call through glass. Make no mistake, I'd crawl through glass to hear Marina at Tenacio fart through a radio. It's what it is. Keep it around.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

It's.

[A]

Look, it's funny enough to win, right?

[B]

But it's your friend.

[A]

It's a friend. So just know you're funny enough to win. That should be good enough for you.

[B]

Think about you crawling through glass just to listen to her fart through a radio. Is very funny.

[A]

I mean, it's as funny as it gets. Yeah, that's as funny as it gets.

[B]

Rub a dub dub mine. Microchub.

[A]

We're gonna chicken finger that. It could have won. Yeah, it's just. It's got some better ones.

[B]

What's hatching under them?

[A]

Frisbees, Cuz just a funny one. We're gonna Drexler.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, but it is a funny one.

[A]

It's a funny one.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Move to Westchester to leave the Leroy's. But now I'm in the middle of an ultimate frisbee tournament.

[A]

Very funny. We're gonna Drex lure.

[B]

It tracks for that.

[A]

Any of these could have won.

[B]

Okay. All right. So then we got. I think the two contenders stuck a traffic cone up my ass to see how it felt.

[A]

Right?

[B]

It's nothing to write home about. Please call me an ambulance, cuz. And then. Hey, Dean. I know you're listening. Sorry I banged your girlfriend. I didn't know how else to tell you.

[A]

I'm going with that guy. Because it's so original?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've never heard anything like it. It's got layers to it. We don't know whether it's true.

[B]

True? Yeah.

[A]

If it's not true, it's funny. If it's true, it's funny.

[B]

Yeah. It's just either way. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you'll go to History. Hyenas is back Dot com. Congratulations, you are the ppw. Hey, Dean. I know you're listening. Sorry. I pinged your girlfriend. I didn't know how else to tell you. You are the pseudo penis of the week. Tell your friends. Go to History. Go to. I mean, go to patreon.com history hyenas. I don't really know what else to say.

[A]

That's it. Unless. Dean, I'm sorry. Yeah.