Secrets to a successful lesbian marriage w Jordan Carlos | History Hyenas

Summary

History Hyenas Podcast Episode Summary

Episode Title: Secrets to a Successful Lesbian Marriage w/ Jordan Carlos
Hosts: Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas
Guest: Jordan Carlos
Date: March 25, 2026

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Overview

In this energetic, comedic, and thoughtful episode of History Hyenas, Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas welcome their friend, comedian, and author Jordan Carlos. The conversation centers on marriage, fatherhood, fighting the “dad stereotypes,” and, more specifically, the everyday efforts and mindset shifts that have helped Jordan save and strengthen his own marriage—documented in his new book, Chore Play. The trio blend humor, honest confessions, and practical advice, reflecting both the frustrations and joys of contemporary relationships and family life.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Jordan’s Marriage Crisis and Transformation

• Near-Divorce During Covid: Jordan opens up about his marriage almost ending due to the strains of the pandemic and realizing he was a “visitor” in his own home, clueless about daily logistics—“I was home, but I was kind of like a stranger in my house. More like a visitor.” (09:55)
• Reflecting on Role Models: He saw old-school gender roles growing up, e.g., his dad relaxing after work while his mom managed the household (22:10–22:34). Jordan realized he didn’t want to perpetuate that pattern.

2. The Book: Chore Play

• Purpose: The book is described as “marriage saving magic,” focusing on small changes men can make—especially around household involvement. Forward is by Charlemagne Tha God. (09:35–09:45)
• Inspired by Therapy and Friends: Instead of expensive out-of-network therapy, a friend's simple act—making coffee for his wife—served as a turning point (12:12–12:38).
• Practical Advice: Jordan emphasizes starting with tiny, consistent tasks (“making coffee every morning”) and letting it snowball. (12:55)

3. The Chore Play Philosophy

• From Weaponized Incompetence to Real Effort: Jordan admits to having faked incompetence (“weaponized incompetence”) at chores but grew to genuinely take responsibility (17:36–18:00).
• Benefits Beyond Romance: The positive changes improved marital intimacy and mutual respect (“She was like, I actually missed you,” 15:10).
• It’s Not About Allyship: “This is not like allyship stuff. This is just like—the bar is in hell and people still trip over it.” (22:44)
• Leverage: Even doing 10% more can have a disproportionate positive impact (“If you do, like, 10% … you can leverage that for a lot,” 30:50).

4. Dads, Kids, and Modeling Behavior

• Setting an Example: Jordan discusses how the way parents behave—good or bad—gets passed down: “You are. You become what you behold.” (21:37)
• Challenging External Bias: Schools, doctors, and other institutions default to calling “mom” for everything; fathers must actively push back to be included (28:16–29:40).
• Family Logistics = Company: Raising a family is compared to running a business, with “work fights” over logistics replacing romantic conflicts (24:00–24:11).

5. Gender Roles, Compliments, and Emotional Needs

• Complement Deficit: Men crave appreciation and seldom receive positive feedback:
  • Chris: “Am I … do you guys get a lot of compliments?” (39:44)
  • Jordan: “I call myself an emotional camel. Like, I can go days, weeks without water … just something in the desert.” (43:24)
• The Conditioning Trap: Both men and women still fall into old societal caricatures—men as silent providers, women as default caregivers.
• Practical Fix: While men must step up, women could, in return, offer more encouragement (noting a lack of “atta-boys” carries a cost).

6. Physical and Mental Health

• Getting in Shape Post-Covid: Motivation for fitness came from marriage stress and not wanting to buy new clothes.
  • “Most guys get in shape because they're headed towards divorce.” (03:11)
• Workout & Diet: Kettlebells, yoga, and a protein/veggie-heavy diet (04:56–07:21).
• Wellness as Self-Approval: Achieving body confidence led Jordan to approve of himself more, improving all aspects of life—including comedy (19:13–19:33).

7. Modern Masculinity and Marriage “Negotiations”

• Advice-on-Advice: Men often approach conflict trying to “fix” things, but women often want to be listened to instead:
  • “Emotionally. No, no, no. You gotta let them ride, man. … just repeat the last two sentences of what they said.” (42:25–42:32)
• Models of Change: Men shouldn’t expect a 50/50 marriage split; it’s about “vibe” not accounting (25:47–26:08).

8. Humorous Tangents and Running Jokes

• Pizza Joints in Brooklyn: A lighthearted but earnest debate over the best “emergency slice” pizza spots.
• Cultural Stereotypes: Recurrent riffs about distinguishing “the Koreans” vs. “the Chinese” at local markets (06:04–06:25; 20:18–20:25).
• Compliments from Men: Noting that men often light up more from each other’s praise than from women (44:31–44:51).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Marriage Crisis:
  “When the tide goes out, you see the rocks, right? … I was kind of like a stranger in my house.” — Jordan (09:55)

• On Small Changes:
  “I had this buddy … he makes coffee for his wife every morning. … I was like, that’s a low bar. I can do that.” — Jordan (12:12)
  “She was like, I actually missed you.” — Jordan (15:10)

• On Compliments & Emotional Needs:
  “I think they need a book. And this is what the book is. It's one sentence ... just a few compliments. Guys like compliments.” — Yannis (39:17–39:31)
  “I can go days, weeks without water, baby, but just something in the desert … just need a drip.” — Jordan (43:24)

• On The Bar for Dads:
  “This is not like allyship stuff. … the bar is in hell and people still trip over it.” — Jordan (22:44)

• On Gendered Assumptions:
  “I put my name on the top of the emergency contact list, and they still call her.” — Jordan (28:18)
  “At 40, a woman always wants to see the manager. She wants to see the manager.” — Jordan (32:58)

• On Modeling Behavior:
  “You are. You become what you behold.” — Jordan (21:37)

• On Chore-Incentive System:
  “The only times Jazz ever says how hot I am is when I’m doing chores.” — Chris (26:08)

• On Weaponized Incompetence:
  “Do you do that thing where you would do something and do it wrong so she would then be like, I’ll do it, honey?”
  “’Weaponized incompetence.’ All the time. All the time.” — Chris & Jordan (17:40–17:52)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Fitness Routine/Physical Transformation — [02:42]–[07:27]
• Book Origins & Coffee Routine — [09:35]–[12:55]
• Marriage Crisis and COVID Fallout — [09:45]–[10:58]
• Weaponized Incompetence & Chore Play Philosophy — [17:36]–[18:19]
• Fatherhood, Modeling for Kids, Breaking the “Mom Bias” — [21:35]–[29:40]
• Compliment Shortage/Atta-boy Discussion — [39:17]–[40:05], [43:24]–[44:48]
• Advice for Guys: Stay in Your Lane — [26:44]–[27:54]
• Humor on Gendered Cooking (“Why Sushi Chefs Are Men”) — [33:16]–[33:50]
• On Modern Marriages, Emotional Camels, and Validation — [43:24]–[43:52]

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Tone and Style

The episode maintains the signature History Hyenas tone: irreverent, quick-witted, unfiltered, and energetically bouncing between candor and comedy. The hosts mix self-deprecation, earnestness, and bro-banter, creating both a safe and hilarious space for Jordan’s advice and life lessons to land honestly.

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Conclusion

This episode is a must-listen for anyone married or considering parenthood—especially dads struggling with modern expectations but open to self-improvement. You’ll find relatable stories, concrete takeaways, and plenty of laughs. Jordan Carlos’s approach to “chore play”—not grand gestures, but small, consistent efforts—offers a refreshingly attainable path to marital harmony, respect, and, as he jokingly underscores, “smashing all the time now.” (17:06)

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Great. All right, guys, welcome to the Patreon. Listen, we got our. Our boy Jordan Carlos coming on the show. I'm going to tell you this right now. This episode's not for everybody, okay? We already know. Some people may say it's a snoozer. Some people may call him a big dyke. It's things that we've already said to him. So just know that we've Eminem this shit already and there's nothing you can say to him that we already did say to.

[A]

What I'd like to say is if you have kids and you're married, maybe you want to take a listen. If you don't have kids and you're not married, it may not be pertinent to you, but listen, it may be someday if you decide to have children.

[B]

It's what it is, guys. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, he's an educated man. He went to Brown.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

His dad was a doctor.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Mom was a college professor.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the episode is just what you think it would be.

[B]

And we want to see your. We do want to see your Patreon names. When this episode comes out, we do want to see how you combine Jordan Carlos and Big Mike.

[C]

Okay,

[A]

What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. But you already knew that because you're tuned in.

[B]

Because you're here. You're tuned in. We're ready to go. We're gonna. You're tuned in and we're gonna tune you up. That's our new motto. Now if we see History Hyenas fans in the street and you notice Yanni or I, we want to have a little tune up. We'll have Nick film it and we want to see which one of our fans can throw the best hands. And we'll be willing to get knocked unconscious to find our best fighting fan, that is.

[A]

I don't endorse that at all. Yeah, it's not what we're trying to do at all. Just say hi and ask For a picture.

[B]

Yeah, it's what it is. And when you see this guy in the street, don't punch him in the face. Jordan, Carlos, everybody.

[C]

But I'm very punchable. The glasses are very punchable.

[B]

Cuz let me tell you something. As soon as you walked in. What did I say? Said, you look svelte. You are in tip top, rocking shape. You got what we call an rhb, a rocking hot pod. How are you so hot now? What are you doing? Are you on Peptides?

[C]

Have you seen Polypeptide? Have you seen my wife? No, not like gorgeous. She's like a 10. And so I have to keep up, but I punch way above my weight.

[B]

100%. But you. I remember. I remember, you know, when we were. When we were neighbors a couple of years ago, you weren't in this kind of shape.

[C]

I wasn't in this kind of shape. I just. I think it was probably because of COVID I, like, I wanted to get in shape. I almost got divorced. And so most guys get in shape because they're headed towards divorce. And I was like, what can I do to kind of like, right the boat and definitely. Yeah, you're embarrassing me. But I'm in shape. Yes. You're like, oh, I'm doing a setup or two.

[B]

You were like, I'll get hot.

[A]

The thing you notice is just what a guy looks like.

[B]

That's what it is.

[A]

I didn't even notice. I didn't even. He just looked like Jordan Co. You're going. Right away, you're checking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But the thing is, you're sizing up. You see him, what kind. You want to know how he's doing it? Yeah.

[B]

He's a 32 waist now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, maybe he's a 34 because he's got a nice big butt.

[C]

You can't. You can't escape the African part. But I'm going to tell you, it is 30. I can squeeze into a 32.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew this. This is where the conversation should go.

[B]

I knew, I knew. 34, 36. Jordan, I don't know 34.

[C]

You go around guessing people's.

[B]

That's what I do. That's my. One of my talents.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He got his eyes all over you. Yeah. If you're in Chris's presence, he's got. If you're a guy, he's got his

[B]

eyes all over Giannis. Giannis I know, is a 36, 38, but he likes to squeeze into a 34. He likes to walk around like a Dominican guy.

[A]

You're right about that.

[B]

Dominicans like to squeeze into jeans that are too small for them.

[A]

You're 100% right, right?

[B]

Did I nail that?

[A]

You nailed it. I'm a 36 right now, but I'm squeezing into a 34 because I refused to buy the 36. And I have. I have promised myself and keep lying to myself. I'm going to get back down. What I'm doing is I'm just. Now I'm just got a belt, so I leave it unbuckled, but the belt keeps it closed.

[C]

The belt keeps it closed. I mean, I honestly lost weight because I was too cheap to buy new clothes.

[B]

Right?

[C]

Like, that was a big deal. Clothes are fucking expensive now.

[B]

What's the workouts? What are we doing?

[A]

The split.

[C]

You want to know the split?

[B]

Take the regimen. What's the diet? What are we doing?

[C]

Okay, so I do kettlebells, like every other day. Between that, I do, like, yoga. So it's like yoga, kettlebells, I love. I have two 30s. Not trying to brag. Yeah, I want to do more, but I can't. I have like a bird body, dude, I want to do more, but the

[B]

diet is where it's at. You're eating good. What are you eating good?

[C]

I'm eating.

[B]

You look like a vegetarian.

[C]

I'm gonna. Why are you putting that slander out there?

[A]

And look at. He's ripped, dude.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Jordan's the type of guy.

[C]

What is happening?

[A]

Jordan looks like the guy cracks open the New York Times in the morning, has a coffee. But he's the kid who will absolutely hurt you if you get on the wrong.

[B]

Oh, yeah, no, because he knows like jiu jitsu or something like that.

[A]

Something like that. He's here just hurt you.

[C]

Your followers are crazy. They'll come after me in the comments.

[B]

You're on. Once you're in with us, you're in with them.

[C]

All right. I just making sure because it'd be like challenging this guy right now to the octagon in front of the White House. Let's fucking go. No, I usually do watercress, which is like, I saw these. I guess they're Chinese people eating it at like, at the grocer. Like this guy, this old guy was eating.

[A]

What do you mean you guessed? They're Chinese.

[C]

I think they're Chinese.

[A]

What's your accent?

[C]

Me and my family call it the Koreans, right? Yeah, we go to the Koreans because we're pretty sure what we heard was Korean. But we think that the man that works in the store is Chinese.

[A]

Right. So they're pretending to be Korean or they're.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no, no. There's an old man who works in the store we believe is Chinese.

[B]

Got it.

[C]

Based on.

[A]

Amongst the Koreans.

[C]

Based on. Yes, based on our intelligence that we've. We've together.

[B]

Are you even allowed to do that?

[C]

I don't know. We asked him. We asked him and we asked ladies, like, what he's eating. And they were like, don't.

[B]

Right.

[C]

We're not going to talk about that. Yeah. And so we're like, oh, okay.

[B]

Interesting.

[C]

So now I'm really interested.

[A]

The thing that Asians are really good at is staying in shape. Except for one that I can think of.

[B]

Bobby Lee.

[A]

Well, King Jong Un.

[B]

Kim Jong Un.

[A]

He just can't keep in shape.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Each according to his need, according to his ability. And his need is to eat like a fat fuck.

[B]

So you're saying you eat watercress?

[C]

Watercress.

[B]

That's it.

[C]

It's watercress. That's the base of. I mean. Cause I'm in my 40s. You're in your 40s?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

You're in your 40s. You know, we got. Everything has to be. Every vegetable has to be liquefied. So, you know, like, I put that at the base of the smoothie. It's really good. It keeps the wang up, yo. Very good. It's very good at burning the calories. It's really great. And like. And they eat it in the blue zones of the world.

[B]

Yeah, but you can't just have smoothies all day. What else do you eat?

[C]

A lot of chicken. So it's like chicken brown rice and then grilled chicken. Grilled chicken.

[A]

Gotta grill it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but see. I know, but we, you know, we know where you live. We won't give it away. But what about the pizza? In your neighborhood, you don't eat the pizza anymore.

[C]

Why are you doing this to me? Yeah, of course I eat the pizza. It's Little Frankie's every Friday. That's a tradition. Little Frankie's every Friday?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So we go in. We go in for the Honeymooners. Shout out to little Frankies over.

[B]

Shout out to little Frankie's.

[C]

Yeah. Wherever we look, 71st Street.

[A]

Don't forget about no no's too. No no's is good.

[C]

No no's is great.

[B]

Zucchini and bacon slice.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Vesuvio's is amazing.

[A]

Geno's.

[C]

Geno's Pizza Wagon. All of them. We don't want to leave anybody out. It's the closest to the house. Frankie's.

[B]

So we see. That's where you will get hurt if you leave out one of these pizza rooms. Don't worry about our fans. Somebody will come up like, yeah, you Don. Pizza wagon. What the is wrong?

[A]

They may see you out there. Companion.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Give a shout out to.

[B]

Yeah. How about I stick some watercress up your ass?

[A]

Little.

[C]

What was I trying to say? Water crest. Yeah, watercress. And then I was trying to. I was like, did I leave out any Rockies? Rocky. Rocky and Nikki's.

[B]

That's.

[C]

I was like, did I leave a. Out of pizzeria?

[A]

Leave that one out.

[B]

I don't mind Rocky and Nick.

[C]

You can.

[A]

Even on Colonial, you could leave it out.

[B]

Yeah, it's.

[A]

Yeah, it's not that Rocky and Nikki's is what you used to call that. Remember you used to had a name for that emergency slice.

[B]

Oh, that was called the emergency slice.

[A]

That was the only one.

[B]

Like, yeah, that's an emergency.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That is so true.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't seek out Rocky and Nicky.

[B]

I know.

[C]

We settle for it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We could just go to Rocky and Nicky's house.

[B]

Emergency slice.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yes. So pizza. That's the key. Pizza once a week. Not once every three hours, like.

[C]

No, just once a week. Yeah. On Fridays. And just follow what your kids do. So if my kid just wants pizza on Friday. Because what I was doing was, like, laundering a lot of food through them.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Like, who wants ice cream? These kids aren't even talking about that ice cream.

[B]

Right.

[C]

They aren't talking about.

[B]

You want ice cream.

[C]

I want it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I should just say, I want ice cream, like, because I'll take my kids. I talk about this in the book. I'm like, fun dad. I'll be like, who wants to go to Serendipity 3? They're like, we live in Bay Ridge, bro.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You want to go to Serendipity 3. That's over by. That's like 61st and 1st.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I will hop in the car. I'm like, if I even see a nod or like, there was a twinkle in your eye.

[B]

Let's go.

[C]

Going right now.

[B]

I never thought of it that way. That's smart.

[A]

So this book, chore play. This is about. This is. These are marriage saving. This is marriage saving magic.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's the marriage saving magic of getting your head out of your ass. The forward is by Charlemagne. The God who also, like, got his act together and stayed in the relationship.

[B]

Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You said you almost got Divorced. What happened? Yeah.

[B]

How close did you get?

[C]

We got really, really close. It was just like, you know, we were talking about what co parenting would be like. Like having that kind of talk.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

You know? Yeah. But it was. It was Covid, man. And when, like, everybody was home, we weren't working. You know what I'm saying? It was like. And when the tide goes out, you see the rocks, right? So that's what we saw in our relationship. I was home, but I was kind of like a stranger in my house. More like a visitor. I didn't know where anything was. I was like, where the fucking scissors? You know, Where's. Where's the tape? Where's this and that? She's like, you don't know these things because you're never here and you don't invest in the home. And I was like, I bought the house. You know, Like.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So that actually didn't go.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Right. Wow.

[B]

That way, like, listen, well, invest is the wrong word. I mean, you're like, theoretically, I did invest the home because I'm the one to put the down payment.

[A]

You're like, lady, I bought the house.

[C]

Which really. It's great between us. It sounds great.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But when you're in the huddle with the girl, it's not. It just. Does it somehow those rules go out the window.

[B]

Well, you realize money is the last. I mean, money is like the most meaningless thing. It's like I. Yes, I pay for my home, too, but I don't know, the first thing about running it. It is. Without her. It'd be a fucking. On fire.

[C]

Absolutely. And so it's like, that's what the book was about. I was also front row to a divorce in my family. And I was like, man, I can't. I can't. I can't go see that, though.

[B]

Great seats.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I also, theoretically, was front row to it, too, through a friend.

[C]

But, yeah, I felt like Jack Nicholson. I was like. Was. Yeah. I was like, spike, courtside.

[B]

Courtside. It was nice.

[C]

Yeah. Those. There's photos of you at the Garden. Yeah, that.

[B]

I was there.

[C]

That kind of situation was what was going on. And I was like. And you know about this.

[B]

I remember those. Yeah.

[C]

And I was like. I was like, that's. It ain't gonna be me.

[B]

Yeah. So.

[C]

And then I looked at the price, and I was like, it ain't gonna be me.

[A]

Like.

[C]

And. And I actually. I love her.

[B]

You know what I'm saying?

[C]

So it's like, all like, okay, what. What can I do? Little things I don't want to do anything big or radical or anything like that.

[A]

Did you, did you think like, post not. Did that go. Were you at that stage? Were you like, how do I bring that up?

[C]

Like, we.

[A]

That's where I'm at.

[C]

We were talking.

[A]

I'm like, how do I, how do I float that one? You know, let's just make it easier. Just in case.

[C]

Just in case.

[A]

Just j. I c. I kid, I kid.

[C]

I kid. No, no, no, no. I totally feel you, man. Because there's some days that are better than others and like, you get to that edge, right? So like with, with wife, we were, we were talking about all the kind of like serious grown up stuff that you have to do. And then I realized I was like, well, maybe what if I didn't do that? What if there were some things I could change? Because we've been to therapy, out of network therapy. And I was like, out of network therapy. The price of that, give me divorce, right? Like, I was like, I was like, what can I change? So I had this buddy, Hugh, sorry to name him on air like this. He's Canadian, so it's already suspect, but like, he just, he makes coffee for his wife every morning, right? And the women in that neighborhood are like, oh my God, he makes coffee forever. He's a good guy. He's the bad.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I was like, okay, do you like, grind the beans? Are you making a latte? Do you like, make her face in the foam? And he's like, folgers, bro.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

There's crystals at 7:15 every morning. And I was like, that's a low bar. I can do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But I can't because I was a comedian who woke up at 11am, right? But once I got that done, then the floodgates started and like, as a comic, it was a riff. Yeah. If I can do this, then I can do that, then I can do this.

[B]

Right?

[A]

You. So you actually took his advice and started making her coffee.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And she was grateful. Yes. Huh.

[B]

You know what's crazy? You know what's wild?

[C]

Look at your face.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't even realize. I make jazz coffee every day. I make every day.

[A]

Yeah, she.

[B]

But then I also DM Brazilian prostitutes

[A]

there. Wherever there's a ying, there's a yang.

[C]

In general or in primary?

[B]

A general.

[C]

I was like, wow, this guy. Guy's playing with fire out.

[A]

Okay, dude, I'm gonna try that move. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna make my wife coffee. And I'm Gonna stand there and go, hey, no, no, don't do that part.

[C]

Don't do that part. You just got.

[A]

I can't say. All right, now you're my slave for the day.

[B]

No.

[C]

Yeah, indentured servant. I feel like you got it.

[B]

You got.

[C]

You gotta be like, you know, you gotta give yourself atta boys. Which I wasn't doing. And like, just, just like congratulate yourself. Cuz a lot of the book is about, like, mothering too. Like, I. I was like, okay, I got a great relationship with my mom, but I think what I did was somewhere along, like, substitute. When I got married, I was like, I made my wife into a mom kind of figure. You know what I'm saying? Cleaning up after me, telling me when to go to bed, all this stuff. Telling me when to get a haircut. And what happened to me being like a grown ass man? So I was like, if I can kind of like get away from that situation and ask myself, what are my standards? What are my standards for cleanliness? What do I want? Then you're better off.

[A]

Yeah, Smart question. Was there anything she needed to do, or is it just always an angel we have to do?

[C]

My wife's a angel.

[A]

Is it just like. Did she write a book? Yeah, where's her book?

[B]

Isn't she.

[A]

Where's her.

[C]

Yeah, she did write.

[B]

She has a PhD.

[A]

Your book should be here. You meet her here with her, your book, and then her book should be right here about the things she needs.

[B]

Well, that's the thing. Her book would be a PhD. And he's like, look at it. Jordan's like, look at my book. Everybody look at your cover. It's red. And she's like, this is my dissertation. I actually proved something that's never been.

[A]

I just think it's so funny that this guy put the effort in, wrote the book, and she. And the woman's probably going like, bro, yeah, where's. There needs to be another volume. No, there's the second volume. You missed this and you missed that. You missed this and you missed that.

[C]

She did tell me that. She did tell me that I missed some things in there. But that was the first time I ever got like. And it was very long and coming, but I got her actual respect, which was crazy, right? So like, so, I mean, she's a PhD. She's a very smart lady. And I do think that the only thing that had to change with her was like, now I'm helping out around the house. You can't say, like, you always anymore. You can't say that shit. But once we got past that, then it was all right. Like, I went away, I was doing a gig in la. I come back, she was like, I actually missed you. And I was like, thanks, babe. Because before I would leave and she'd be like, we're fine. You know what I'm saying? Because we're independent. We don't need you. She's like, I missed you because of the stuff that you were doing around the house. And the stuff I was doing around the house is very minimal. It's like cleaning up my mess. She asked me to clean the house. All she said was like, clean up your pile. Like, I mean, I know I look like a neat kind of guy, right? Like, smooth skinned. And you're looking at me again.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So.

[B]

But I know from guy code you're a dirty piece of shit.

[C]

But I have piles of clothes. I feel like you're neat. Do you have.

[A]

No.

[B]

Giannis is not neat. I. Giannis never has a piece.

[A]

You know, I'm listening to you kind of intently because I'm trying to get some advice, because I think you're kind of right. I think I have gotten a little comfortable.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think, like, I just throw. Like, I used to be very neat.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then we got married, and then I just throw shit.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And then she picks it up and then she complains about that a lot. And in my mind I'm thinking, like, what's the big deal? But you're right, maybe. Yeah. Maybe I'm doing the mother thing a little bit. Yeah.

[C]

It's like, don't make her into your mother. You know what I'm saying? When you got with her, that's not what she was about. So, like. So for me, like, I just got really selfish and I just started doing my own laundry. Things like that. And it feels good. I do my laundry, I put it away. And at the beginning, I didn't even do, like, other people's laundry. I didn't do my kids laundry, I just did mine. And she was definitely happy about it, so I could have stopped there, but, like, I just was like, it was an organic thing of helping out more.

[A]

And this improved the relationship.

[C]

Smashing. Smashing all the time now. Yeah.

[B]

Are you doing that thing like, I. I smash?

[A]

You mean you guys are banging all the time?

[C]

Yes. Yeah.

[B]

I didn't know.

[C]

Can we say that?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, I. I make love.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, I. I definitely. I mean, look at me. I make. I'm like, smashing. I think I said smashing with a hard G you. You know me, guys. Smashing all the time.

[A]

You gotta smash it. You.

[B]

No, no, Yeah.

[C]

I don't. I have a nice squeeze and a squash.

[A]

Yeah. Are you a squeezer?

[C]

I'm a squeeze. I have to check on how she's doing the whole time.

[B]

Now. Would you do that thing where initially you would do something and do it wrong? So she would then be like, you know what? I see your effort, but you're doing it wrong. I'll do it, honey.

[C]

Onto some Tom Sawyer shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Weaponized incompetence.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

All the time. Yeah. Are you kidding me? Yeah, all the time. All the time. I couldn't cook.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Make the pasta. No way.

[B]

So now you do all that? You even cook now?

[C]

I can easily. Yeah. Easily done. Easily done. But it was a slow progression. I had to be like, I want to do these things for me. Like, I was at like, you know what? Here, I'll tell you this. I was in a class and it was like one of those F45 classes.

[B]

Oh, I've been taking that. I've been going to that gym. Dude, that's amazing. Is that. Will I look like you?

[C]

Chris, you already look great. You look. I'm sure.

[B]

But I want to be a lean Black man. Is F45. Will F45 make me a svelte gorgeous? I mean, you look like Idris Elba right now. It's the lighting, bro.

[C]

It's the lighting.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Chris's edible has officially hit.

[B]

That's what's going on, dude. F45 is the best.

[C]

F45 is the best. But in it, they're always like, doling out compliments, right? Like, way to go, Doug. Good job, Jane. And you're like, do me next. You know, like, I remember I was doing some move and at like a voice down deep. Because I like to take. I like to take a little THC before I work out, just so I don't get over whatever voices smoke it

[B]

or do a little edible. What are you doing?

[C]

An Eddie.

[B]

So that.

[C]

That way, like at my age, it got fog brain. So I forget that I took it. And then I'm like, I'm a really nice guy.

[B]

Take little bite, a little micro dose.

[C]

No, you took inedible stupid. So like, that's.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So then down deep a voice came out and was like, do you see you? Because I was like, does the instructor see me? But I was like, do you see you? And that was the first time I'd ever in my life wanted to like, you know, be like, look at myself.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

And have my own approval. So I think that's like. That's definitely been the process for me.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then when you get the body confidence, you get more confidence, like, in your life. Because we deal with so much, you know, rejection and comedy and things like that. That's like. That can just batter at the confidence. So, like, what the fuck was I doing? Like, I had to work on that, you know?

[B]

Do you still do F45?

[C]

No, I've switched to. I've switched to core power, which I.

[B]

Core power yoga.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it kind of like meshes both of them together.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And I like. And it's like. It's just me and then like, usually a guy who was dragged there by his girlfriend who's gonna pass out.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I'm like, you get. Get ready, buddy. I got the water in your pulse points. Don't worry, dude.

[B]

I gotta start doing yoga. We all gotta start doing yoga. Right?

[A]

How great is yoga is also good for the mind.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Good for trauma.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's good for. Good for the mind. The Eastern. They really figured it out.

[B]

Yeah. The. The Chinese, Korean, Eastern. Eastern hemisphere knows what they're Chinese. We think they're called the watercress people.

[C]

They have the watercress folk. I mean. Yes, the people cheap. It's only a dollar fifty a pound.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

This stuff.

[B]

What supermarket do you go to in Bay Ridge?

[C]

I. Super fresh is too much.

[B]

Yeah. It's too much.

[C]

Too much to beaucoup. So we go to, like, I usually. I mean. And this is also in the book. I instacart it from Costco, baby. I'm not. I'm not sure. I don't have a brand partnership, but like, I do the. Do the Instacart because that also helps out because I was a slob before who just wouldn't go because wife would be like, go. Go to the grocery store for the nighttime. And I just wouldn't do it. So now I do it. Instacart. It's a lazy man's way of doing it.

[B]

Doing it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you know what, man? Not picking up after yourself. All these things, even for us all as fathers, then our kids. Sometimes when I'm like, why are my kids messy? It's like, well, because I'm messy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, like, why? You saw. Anytime we get mad at our children, really, we're mad at. Is why are they acting like us really very important.

[A]

Yeah. I think because when you have kids, I think the kids pick up on the energy between you guys. I think kids pick up energy more than anything. More than what you say, more than what you. It's just the energy. So it's important that you get along with your wife and your wife gets along with you. But it's not easy because you guys are running like a company together. We're running.

[C]

Running a nice bodega place.

[B]

Yes, definitely.

[C]

Like, really nice. Yes, really nice bodega. But it's a lot of model modeling. Right. So what's modeled for you is what you're gonna do. You are. You become what you behold. Like with my own dad. I love my dad. Very generous guy.

[B]

He was a doctor.

[C]

Doctor, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Obgyn. Like inter joke there.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Like, and so he was also. But he was doing all these things for women, right. For their sake. But when he come home, he was like on the couch in his BVD's, watching ESPN2. Like, usually if it was late, it was like two white guys boxing. That's when, you know it's late on ESPN2.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And so he'd have a steak and like. And my mom would just clean the whole house. You know what I'm saying? But she was also a college professor, right. And she did all. She ran the house and did these things. And my dad was like, you know, he just didn't give a. I mean, he cared, but he was like, he needed his rest time and like, he was the king of the castle and nobody was gonna like, stop him.

[B]

That's old school. That's not the way it is anymore.

[C]

Right, but that's what I saw.

[B]

Right?

[C]

So no one told me that, but that's what I saw. And I was like, yeah, that's me. That's why I want to be like that.

[B]

Well, your every generation gets better because your kids are going to see a more updated version of what. What couple?

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

Absolutely.

[C]

So you just want to model that for them a little bit. I'm not. And this is not like to tell men, you got to be like this. This is not like allyship stuff. This is just like the bar is in hell and people still trip over it. So have you considered this, that and the other? If you look good. Like, I was walking down the street with my kids the other day near the seaport, and I was holding their hands crossing the street. And this lady goes, there's a dad right there. And I was like, I was just fucking holding their hand. So like, that's all you gotta do. I'm just saying there's money on the

[B]

table and try not to watch as porn. Yeah, watch. Not watching as much porn is. Is also good. I mean, you just.

[C]

Yeah, I feel like we were having this elevated moment.

[A]

Yeah, that's. That's what. That's what God put him on the planet for.

[B]

And then just don't watch as much porn. And that also helps. I guarantee your porn watching went down.

[C]

My what? It did go down. Chris, A salient question went down. I had to say goodbye to Pornhub.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I. I had to say goodbye to. To deeper.com and like, yes, thank you very much.

[B]

You have to.

[C]

Could we cut?

[B]

No. I'm telling you, dude, that's all you need.

[C]

You're absolutely right.

[A]

I have noticed that most of the fights. You know, I've been married now seven years. We've been together 12 after you have kids. Most of the fights are kind of work fights. They're like work fights.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, did you do this? I didn't do this. You did less of this. I did more of this. Did you. You forgot this. It's almost like co worker fights.

[C]

Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Which is logistics.

[A]

Which is like. Like interesting.

[B]

You could make that hot some. Everybody wants to bang their co workers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You got to figure out a way. I guess I miss this guy.

[C]

But it's like. It's like.

[B]

But those are you, Nick.

[C]

Those are proxy. Those are like proxy battles. Right? That's really like. It's like a Vietnam kind of thing.

[A]

Let's use some real life example. Let's. How about Iran?

[C]

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

[A]

Your wife's Iran, and you just bomb the. Out of it. But then she keeps. Keeps propping up with new problems.

[C]

She is. She is mind.

[B]

She's.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[C]

She's like. There's no. Yeah, she's. She is all the things.

[A]

You kill one and another one pops up.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. The problem's not solved.

[B]

So, like, straight up Hormuz, straight hormone.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Yeah, just straight hormones, dude. I mean. Yeah. I mean, our fans know, but it's so funny. Like, my guys in the group chat, probably too far back to find it, but my boy Debo, we're talking about the straight of homozygous. What the is that? And I go, it's a new ipa. And he went, really? Like, dead serious.

[C]

That's. I mean, it could be. Yeah, I like TM right now, man. Let's go. I mean, that's basically what it is, bro. It gets so boring. But do you realize how mad you get from those stupid fights? Right?

[B]

Sure.

[C]

So my Whole thing is like, I hate the list crap, all that kind of stuff. Like, you do this and do that and the charts. I hate that I'd actually read this book, and I love the book. It's called Fair Play by Eve Rodsky, which is where I got the thought for chore play from. And so, like, Eve Rodsky says, you gotta be 50, 50 in the relationship. I don't. I personally don't believe that that works for some people. I believe in vibe. I just think that you can go from, like. Because men are ready. Usually men are ready. Like, we all have our John Wick fantasies.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[C]

Like, you're saying you're getting in shape. I'm like, yeah, I wish somebody would start some shit. Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, because you. You know. But we are ready. Like, we're ready to do the things. We're ready to fight. We're ready to take out the garbage when you want us to. So if you just switch the mode and be, like, go from ready to just do the thing right, then you'll be better off. You know what I'm saying? And it's because it's vibe. It really is, bro.

[B]

And it's like one of those. Really. The only times Jazz ever says how hot I am is when I'm doing chores, when I'm doing, like, taking out a garbage or taking, you know, I'm the one, you know, taking the kids up to change for bed or read them the bedtime stories. That's when you potentially can get a blowjob. So that. So if that motivates you, too, if you want to. If you want to get a blowjob or something like that, then you have to do things for that. You have to do the chores, of course.

[A]

I mean, what is a blowjob job? I forgot.

[C]

I wouldn't. Oh, man, this.

[B]

This episode's getting big. One of those auto.

[C]

Oh, those are great.

[B]

Those are.

[C]

Those are good for the road. But, though, I mean, there's no one for one, right? There's no one for one. I'd say you work on yourself first and then, like. And then look over, see what she's doing. Like, don't even. Just stay in your lane. Stay in your lane and you'll be all right. I'm not an expert. I'm just, like, a guy that survived. And. Because we've just lost a lot of good men on here.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, really a lot of nice, conscientious guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Just that. Just don't know. And if, like, I put in there, like, what's his name? Rumsfeld. The, like, the unknown unknowns, right? Yeah, because there's known knowns. There's known unknowns and unknown unknowns. Unknown unknowns is the shit that you didn't know. You didn't know. Like, no one's ever going to take you aside and say, hey, you know what the biggest deal is? Is, like, in a relationship, it could be that glass that you left on the counter instead of putting it in the sink.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Like, so, like, I'm just trying to put people on game for that. Yeah, because that's. It's bullshit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you think. You think if we're more aware and we start acting as opposed to being ready, women will appreciate it and then they'll meet us, they'll start doing stuff to make us more happy.

[C]

Absolutely. Or I'll put it this way. You'll be more happy.

[A]

Doing for you.

[C]

Doing for you. You'll have that kind of, like, that energy about you and that you don't give a shit, and that will kind of like radiate out and it'll have a positive effect. That's what happened to me. That's not to say that the game isn't also rigged against you. Cause I've had plenty of times, like, okay, if anything goes wrong with your kids at school, who do they call?

[B]

Mom.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I put my name on the top of the emergency contact list, and they still call her.

[A]

Right, Right.

[C]

And I'm just like. And then she's like, why? You know, like, you have to hear about it third party. And I'm like, yeah, I know. Because women in the office call the mom. And it's like, you have to break that chain. I called the office and was like, please put me. I'm the first contact. Do you understand? You know, and like, you have to get in there and tell them. And then that the same thing happened.

[B]

And then they're like, you know, whatever your daughter's name is, like, she's a lesbian. She has two moms. Yes. Lesbian. I didn't realize that she had. That girl had two moms.

[C]

Most people only. Only barely survive one mom, you know? You know, like, so. So, like, okay, okay. But also, this happened to me at the. I was, like, trying to, like, taking stock of everything. And so I was like, okay, I'm gonna handle the appointments, too. So I. I call up. I was feeling myself. I call up the doctor, I call up the dentist. And this is South Brooklyn. So I called the dentist, and I was like, yeah, I need to see when My kids need a tooth cleaning. Next. And they're like, the mother knows that information.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I was like, okay, but I want to know. And they're like, well, are you divorced? And I was like, no, they. Well, anybody that's divorced usually asks that question. And I was like, thank you, Carol. Can I please. Like, I just want to know the information, but I'm just telling you, like, the people. The world does not want the genders doing certain things.

[B]

Yeah, right. You got to break that.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, even if it's tiny, like, tiny things like that, you know, like, just small things, like knowing what's going on.

[B]

Dude, just this morning, I literally. I got the email, you know, because I'm signing my daughter up for T ball. So the Little League emailed me. And in my head, I was literally about to. Cause every email from the school or anything, I just forward to Jasmine. I was going to forward that to Jasmine. I'm like, what am I doing? I gotta sign my kid up for T ball.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

You wanna know what's going on?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it makes you. It, it gives you. It gives you a sense that you're, like, more grown, you know? Like, I wanna feel like I'm grown up and then I'm invested in my kids, what they're doing and, and what they're interested in, you know, and not have it be, like something that just flies by, but something you're. You're savoring it, you know?

[B]

Now, with all that being said, I still. I will. I do all those things, but I still. I don't know how to do my daughter's hair.

[C]

I don't know how to do my.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

My kids mix. I, I. Yeah, I'm lost.

[B]

Yeah. No idea. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. But like, but that's. I mean, you do what you can. You don't have to do it all, but do something. I think guys probably get really messed up because it's like either 50, 50 or nothing at all. No, if you do, like, 10%.

[B]

Yeah, bro.

[C]

It's. It's. You can leverage that for a lot.

[B]

Huge.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Huge.

[C]

Huge.

[A]

So you think generally guys just instinctually do less. Like, we just. And we. Because we assume they're gonna do more.

[C]

Look at what we're taught, though.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

One of my favorite movies as a kid was Mr.

[B]

Mom.

[C]

Remember Mr. Mom? Mr. Mom is Michael Keaton.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes.

[C]

Okay. So this guy, like, they were like, the whole premise is, like, this guy loses his job and he has to stay home while his wife'. And it's crazy, right? So it's like, he can't cook. He can't do anything like that. But you're telling me, like, Bobby Flay, Anthony Bourdain, David Chang, the whole show, the bear. These are all men in the kitchen. We're like, supposedly the best chefs in the world, but we can't cook. Look at the mixed messaging that you're getting.

[B]

Shit's a good point. Yeah, it's a really good point. Because even, like. And it's also, like, we all have experienced this when mom's not there and we are taking care of the kids, even if it's just for a few hours now. It's like, oh, my God. I don't know how you. How I could do this. It's crazy. Even though we love our kids, it's just like, nuts. And then I. I would always think, like, oh, women are just. Something's different about them from nature. But then when you speak to them, like, no, no. It's as hard as me to do that. I feel that same degree of difficulty, but I just have to do it right, because I'm the mom. I just have to be with the kids every day.

[C]

You're left to do it. And then there's a certain amount of burnout. You know what I'm saying? There's a certain amount of burnout. And then, ladies, then a little something called perimenopause enters the channel chat. Sure. And then. And then they start blaming you for everything that's ever happened in their life. And so. Oh, for real.

[B]

Oh, baby.

[A]

They are a lot more hormonal than we are.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because they have baby making chemicals, and then those go away, and they just have moods. They're a little more moody by nature.

[C]

Well, look at. Yeah, absolutely. And. And then look at this. Like. Like my. Okay, I. I have a friend who read the book. Book. And he's like. He's been divorced twice. And so he. He stopped me and he said, look, man. You know, men enter marriage thinking that women will never change, and women intermarriage thinking that the man will someday change, and nothing. And neither of those are true. At 40, a woman always wants to see the manager. She wants to see the manager.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And she's like, this has got to change right fucking now. Yeah, I'm going out with my girls. And then, like, it gets really kind. It gets hairy, man. It gets really hairy. And I hope to dispel something in this book with that, like, just to save people Agita.

[A]

As far as the men in the Kitchen cooking analogy.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Men are supposed to be the best chefs. Women can do it, too. Except for sushi chefs. Those have to be men.

[B]

Those have.

[A]

You know that?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because men's hands are. Are not as warm as women's hands.

[B]

Ants.

[A]

That's why women sushi chefs.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Really.

[C]

I didn't know that. Men's hands are not as warm as women's ants.

[A]

That's what it is. Yeah.

[C]

And they Might be Chinese.

[B]

That's the name of this episode. They Might be Chinese with Jordan Carlos.

[A]

Yeah. So that's why you never see any women sushi chefs, because it's just understood to handle the sushi.

[B]

It's a wild fact to me.

[A]

You got to have colder hands.

[C]

Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, I guarantee. I can't guarantee, but I can tell you that. That if you do this little stuff, though, man, it's like the kind of like the exponential effect it'll have.

[A]

I got a good question.

[C]

Please.

[A]

So you've employed these.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

So you're speaking from experience.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

How has she responded? What have you seen her do? More of that maybe you were upset about? Cause I'm sure there was a few things you were upset about because you were thinking about divorce. So you weren't looking at your own behavior. You were also doing that.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

So did she change any of those things because you changed some of the things you were doing?

[C]

I think it was. She changed her level of confidence in me. She didn't have a lot of confidence that I could do something by myself. So now it feels like she gives me more leeway and believes I can. If there's a task that needs to be done, if there's plans that need to be.

[A]

So what you're basically saying is, she breaks your balls less.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Isn't that what we're looking for at

[B]

the end of the day?

[A]

We're looking for. What are you looking at?

[B]

They're always going to break your ball. Just less.

[A]

You want less?

[C]

Yes. You want less pressure breakage. You want a fracture, but not like a total clean break, right?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, essentially, that's what it is. We're looking for a little bit less of a break.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

More of a fracture. Less of a clean break of the balls.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Wait, is your girl from Brooklyn? Mine's from Brooklyn.

[A]

No, she's from Long Island.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

But same peninsula. Same peninsula, but it's like same island, I should say. So arguing is like what my wife's like. Love languages. Right. She loves to argue not unique, right?

[A]

Yeah, not unique.

[C]

Does Long Island. Probably a little bit of the same.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A little bit of that. She's. A little bit of that.

[C]

Little friction.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

She likes to fight.

[C]

Saying this is the most diplomatic way possible.

[B]

Or like she likes to fight.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

She likes to get, you know, she likes to get worked up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. But I understand she's overwhelmed. It's a lot, right? Like, yeah.

[B]

Giannis will say things like, you know, Chris. It's just, you know, here's one thing I've learned is that to be a good mother, you have to be a. And my wife's a good mother. So he'll get. He'll skirt around. Okay.

[C]

Holy.

[A]

I think here's what I've learned. I have learned from watching her be a mother that it is actually, and I'm not just saying this to be obsequious or suck up. I think it is the hardest thing I've ever seen someone.

[B]

I agree with that.

[A]

The hardest job.

[C]

I do agree with the bill birth.

[A]

I used to make fun. Like, he obviously was wrong about that. I mean, it's a funny joke, I guess, but when you experience it, you're going like, no, no, no. It actually is. It's non stop. It's like, you know, they're changing, they're putting asleep. You're trying to control these two kids. And it's non stop.

[B]

Even today, my, you know, leaving. Come here. Jasmine had a full thing of. Full day of things she needed to do. My little daughter got. Is sick. So it was no question she. My daughter wouldn't want me to stay home. My daughter was like, mommy. Like, she needs mommy. She's on mommy. So Jasmine has to cancel our whole day.

[C]

Damn.

[B]

You know, and it's like, but, but I. If she said, chris, can you cancel? Of course I would have done it. But the daughter's. My daughter doesn't want that. My daughter's like, I need to be with mommy. And Jasmine understands that. So she's like, all right, you. You go. I gotta stay with our daughter.

[C]

Look, man, everybody's case is different. I'm just saying, like there's also just this thing where it's like the she fault situation, right? Like, it's like they go to her. Like I put in the book that it's like in Goodfellas where it's like when you get in business with Tommy was it. It was like, fuck you pay me. Everything goes through her. And after a while. I'm not saying the kids want what they want in the night.

[A]

I know what you say.

[C]

Yeah. If they have bubble guts, they come right to mommy. They don't go to me. You know what I'm saying? Even though I can handle it really quickly. And I'm up anyway.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So it's like I had to look at that and was like, oh, what am I? Why am I not the one? I am not the one that they run to. I'm not their mother. But I would like to be someone that they. That they do run to in time.

[A]

You want to take a little load off her is what you're saying?

[C]

Absolutely. Take something off the plate. And. And here's another thing. I mean, like, listen, you guys, handsome guys. You know, when. With. With me, I feel like. Yeah. Like. Like some of the blowback I've gotten for the book. Book has been this. They're like, you know, whatever. You're. You're a. You're a wuss for wanting to do these things. Right.

[B]

I'm sorry for. I didn't write. I wrote that, but I don't. Yeah,

[A]

that was a jerk reaction.

[B]

That was my review. Yeah.

[C]

I'm glad. I'm glad we could finally. That. That's really what this was about.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And I knew it was you.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. But. Yeah, so. So I always feel like. Like, yeah, if you don't have all these things going on, like, I don't have a. I don't have, like, fuck you, money. I don't have, like, you know, whatever. I. I don't look like Idris El. But thank you, though, for saying that. So it's like, you gotta. You better make up. I'm. I'm. I have charm.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But you gotta, like, make up for these things sometimes, you know, saying in a marriage, like, that's. I think, like, another part of this is, like, this is an easy way to make up for some things that you might lack. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And especially your wife. I mean, PhD, beautiful woman. It's like, she put. There's pressure on you to, like, I gotta be a better person. That's a good marriage. It's like, you keep making each other

[A]

bad when we need just a book. Women need a book.

[B]

Women need a book.

[A]

And I think that book. Let me just. I'm being honest.

[B]

You drop the C, right?

[A]

I think they need a book. And this is what the book is. It's one sentence. It's one sentence.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And all I would say is just a few compliments. Guys like compliments.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It would be nice once in a while to hear, like, thank you know, you did a good job. As opposed. I know women are wired like, oh, this needs to be done. This needs to be done.

[C]

Done.

[A]

But am I. Do you guys get a lot of compliments?

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

No.

[A]

What the is that? I throw them out. I have. So I give them away, right. I see my wife, I'm like, you look beautiful. I always tell her, you're an amazing. I say all this and, like, it would just be nice if one came back. But you, you're a great dad. That would carry me for a week.

[B]

Yeah. I don't get that much. I get.

[A]

It's just this expect thing.

[B]

I get. I get. She'll look at me and she'll go, I think you got a new skin tag.

[A]

And she'll walk away.

[B]

You'll notice a skin tag pop.

[C]

But that's her way of saying, like, I love you.

[B]

Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[C]

Because, I mean, listen, you're an animal lover, right?

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Like, well, animals.

[A]

He's. He's trying.

[B]

I'm trying. I'm trying to love my dog try.

[C]

But they check each other out. They preen each other, right. Like, to make sure that they're nice and clean. So there you go. There's the love. And by the way. Yeah. No, please go.

[A]

I love what you're saying. Saying. I love what you're saying. You're saying is basically for modern marriage to work, right. A lot of times there's two income. Everyone's working. Everyone's also rearing. We got to step up a little bit. And maybe we're relying on some old tropes, some old conditioning that, like, hey, the woman does most of the stuff I lay on the couch. Cool, right? But I think they also rely on some old conditioning. Like, the man's just always going to take care of it. The man is. Is strong and silent. The man doesn't have feelings. You need to be stronger. You need to be strong. You need to just. And how about just you? You look great today. You're a good. Maybe they can fight some of that conditioning to just make us feel better because we're doing more. We're trying.

[C]

I might try. I have PTSD because I. I've been married to a Brooklyn woman for almost 19 years, so I will sometimes. Condolences.

[A]

I told her mine's Long island, so I understand.

[C]

I told her she looked amazing one day, and I was like. Joked and was like, anything you want to say back to me? She's like, why you want me to say? Is that why you said it in the first place so that I say it back to you.

[A]

Yeah, there it is.

[C]

An hour.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And that went on for an hour. My g. Yeah. I was like, oh my God. This little pistol.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Crazy. Yeah, she's absolutely great. I told her, good luck one day.

[B]

Yeah, good luck.

[C]

She's like, what the fuck is that? Good luck.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I was like, with whatever you're doing. Whatever.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro.

[C]

Down the stoop to the car like this, like. I was like, what? You know.

[B]

Jesus.

[C]

Well, that will never. You know, that's. That's a whole nother book, right?

[A]

That's.

[C]

That's a whole nother book.

[B]

Oh, dude. What about. What about like when your girl is like, she doesn't feel good or something like that and you try to give any advice at all, she just screams right back at you and tells you like, don't try to tell her how she's supposed to feel. And it's like, yeah, but you're upset about something. So I'm like, oh, what if you tried this?

[C]

This. Oh, you. Oh, you. You thought you were talking to a guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no.

[C]

Emotionally. No, no, no, no, no. You gotta let them. You gotta let them ride, man. Just rock. Like.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And just repeat the last two sentences of what they said. That's. That's all you can do.

[B]

Really.

[A]

Yeah, I. I like again to reiterate. I agree with what you're saying. I think it's healthy. I think that's good. And I think, I think women overcomplicate a little bit sometimes by thinking like. Because like you can motivate a guy very easily just by kind of being kind to him.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And like giving him a positive. Just saying something positive about his effort. I mean, maybe it's cuz we're. We're not. They're better at rearing like whatever. It's natural or maybe conditioning both. But if they encourage a little bit, I. It's like anything.

[C]

You want an attab boy. I feel you. I feel you.

[A]

I want an atta boy.

[C]

Everyone's every.

[A]

And they're going to watch this and they're going to, oh, you want my mother? You want a mother? You want me to do everything you get? And then they'll figure out a way to make it me the bad guy in that going, you want too much? You want a mother? It's like, no, I just want a compliment.

[C]

Are you like me? Like, I call myself an emotional camel. Like, I can go days, weeks without water, baby, but just something in the desert. Just listen.

[B]

Just a drip. Yeah.

[A]

Just need a drip.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just a little. Just a little water torture.

[B]

Just.

[A]

That's all I need a little.

[C]

Yeah. I mean. Yeah, I feel like you're fully right about that.

[A]

I think a lot of guys share that frustration because I think. Think that. That the conditioning is there for both sex.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

In a way.

[C]

Yeah. I compliment myself. I never did that before, though. I was always really hard on myself.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I guess for me, like, if you. If you were never hard on yourself, I think that's really cool. That comes with confidence to not be hard on yourself. I was so hard on myself that I didn't. I didn't like, allow compliments even to myself. Kind words to myself in. So that was a process for. For me. So, I mean, if there's people out there that. That need. That don't do that to themselves, like, don't say nice things, give themselves a break, then, like, I mean, that can also open up a channel.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think. I think guys too. She can compliment each other a lot. I think women do it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

He said, I mean, right away, when.

[A]

If you do it. If you give Chris a compliment, you watch.

[C]

I'm gonna tell you, Chris right now, like, you look like.

[A]

Watch him light up.

[C]

Very white warm. He's very warm in that. In that hoodie. You always have a fresh hoodie. You always have a fresh cap on. I mean, you're definitely Brooklyn rules from the 90s.

[B]

100%.

[C]

I don't think you've repeated the same clothes in your life.

[A]

No, but he loves a compliment. He lights up.

[B]

I lights up from men.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Kithslers. Yep.

[A]

I mean, you look thin. You look thin. Dog.

[B]

JFK on the sock. Because you're from, you know, you're from Dallas. Dallas connection.

[C]

We. We try to live that down.

[B]

I'm all about subtlety.

[C]

Well, I appreciate that.

[B]

The little things that I know about.

[C]

Shout out to the Harvey Oswald's family. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Shadow. We set up. We know the government did it.

[C]

The government definitely did.

[A]

That's my favorite thing about Dallas is like, the only thing to see is just an X on the street.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like no monument, nothing. They're just like. Yeah.

[B]

Right there we could see the childhood home of the author of Chore Play. We're.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We're fully embarrassed by that. You understand that?

[A]

That's all you got.

[C]

That's all we got. Yeah.

[A]

And oil money.

[B]

Well, and. And. And while he did have Luka Doncic, but that's gone. Too.

[C]

Can we not? No. Listen, Luca Jalen. Who else do we trade it away? Nasty Nash. We traded away like a lot of great talent. That's what we do in Dallas. We like.

[B]

Yeah, but look, if you keep it like Dirk Nowitzki win the championship one time. One time.

[C]

I mean.

[A]

Which should have been two. Almost. Two almost. God, what are you. I still don't understand how that happened. It's still.

[C]

We're living in Miami at the time. Weren't you.

[A]

I was that the year. I can't remember.

[B]

Remember.

[A]

It was around that time.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a good time for you.

[A]

Yeah. It wasn't. I'm not a Miami fan or anything,

[C]

but to be in that city, but

[A]

I was actually rooting for. Yeah, it was a good time, but I was rooting for Dallas. I still. That was one of the sports thing that just doesn't. It doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, Dallas. Dallas should have won that.

[B]

What? What? What's here? Wait, what are we talking about?

[A]

When Dallas went.

[B]

Did they play the heat back to back?

[A]

They went up like.

[C]

I'm gonna have a pan.

[A]

Yeah, they played them twice in the finals.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And.

[B]

Oh, and then when they went up three. One. They went up three and he came back and won. Right?

[A]

Came back.

[C]

Yeah, actually I record. Yeah, okay. It was a record. This is not how I want. This is not what I wanted for this.

[B]

Yeah, okay. Yeah. The Texas Rangers won recently.

[C]

Yes, they did.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't follow the Rangers. Okay. Yeah, I'm a basketball football guy.

[A]

Bronson.

[B]

Oh, the Cowboys are awful.

[A]

LeBron. Two of those championships. LeBron got. You're going like those almost. They almost shouldn't happen.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

Like that one. Three. One against Dallas and then the other time against the Spurs. You're to going one. When in the history has that has a team scored like nine points?

[C]

Anyone have a cigarette?

[B]

Yeah. And they came back against The warriors too. LeBron, remember?

[A]

And the Warrior.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[C]

So it happens to other people.

[B]

It does, it does. It does.

[C]

Oh my God.

[B]

All right. Well, yeah, sure.

[C]

Play, chore play. Thank you so much, guys.

[A]

Or play go get it where they can get it. Is there on your website or where's the best way? Amazon.

[C]

Yeah, on my website. Jordancarloscomic.com you can go on Amazon one day it'll be Hudson News, baby. Come on. Yeah, you know, but how does it

[B]

work with the books? You have to pre buy them all and then you sell them that you could do that.

[C]

If you do that, then like you're in for a couple grand, but. Yeah. And then you get that little dagger as bestseller. You don't want to do that.

[B]

Right?

[C]

So it's like. So what you do is you just, you know, you promote. You come on great shows like this and hope for the best. Right now, it's doing really well. It's charting really well on Amazon, so I'm very happy about that.

[B]

Great.

[C]

And, like, you know, it's just Charlemagne.

[A]

The God says, this is a damn marriage manual disguised as a comedy special. A Trojan. A Trojan Swiffer, if you will. This is. That's high praise.

[B]

That's high price.

[A]

And he cheated on his wife, and they're still together.

[B]

That's public info.

[A]

Yeah, it's public info.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Public info. I know you saw me.

[C]

Thank you so much for having me on the Breakfast Club on Friday.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Jesus.

[A]

No, I'm saying that's. That if that, you know, he knows what he's talking about. He saved this marriage.

[C]

Yes, he did. Yes, he did. Oh, my God. You made me break out in a sweat. Like, baby, butthole is tight.

[A]

I saw you for a second. You're like, wait.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

He said, okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

All right, boys.

[A]

Thank you, thank you.