Surprise The History Hyenas R Back!

Summary

History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas
Episode: Surprise The History Hyenas R Back!
Release Date: November 7, 2024

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1. Podcast Relaunch Announcement

After a four-year hiatus, comedians Chris Distefano ("Chrissy D.") and Yannis Pappas ("Yannis P") proudly announce the return of their vibrant and comedic podcast, History Hyenas. They express excitement about reviving the podcast, emphasizing their dedication to blending history with humor.

• Chrissy D. [02:02]: "We are back."
• Yannis P [02:04]: "Patreon.com/historyhyenas. Now we are back to history."

2. Exploring the Concept of "October Surprise"

The hosts delve into the concept of an "October Surprise," explaining it as pivotal events or revelations that occur just before an election, potentially swaying outcomes. They reference historical instances, illustrating the recurring nature of such surprises in American politics.

• Chrissy D. [14:33]: "What is an October surprise, you ask? It's when a girl's got a penis."
• Yannis P [24:02]: "The October surprise originated in the 80s, but it's been around forever."

They humorously speculate on modern-day October Surprises, including fictional and exaggerated scenarios involving contemporary political figures.

3. Satirical Takes on Historical and Political Figures

Chris and Yannis engage in a series of satirical discussions about various historical and political personalities. They blend exaggerated facts with humor, creating a parody-style narrative that pokes fun at well-known figures.

• Chrissy D. [35:12]: "Jimmy Carter is still alive. He's what, 100, 101 years old."
• Yannis P [40:43]: "They're trans. They eat the animal backwards."

They mock historical events and personalities, such as the Iran Hostage Crisis, Teddy Roosevelt's presidency, and fictionalized accounts of figures like J. Edgar Hoover and Herbert Hoover.

4. Personal Anecdotes and Life Updates

The hosts share personal stories and updates, offering a glimpse into their lives beyond the podcast. Chrissy discusses her experiences with therapy, motherhood, and maintaining personal relationships, while Yannis touches on his reading habits and family life.

• Chrissy D. [16:15]: "I have sex with women. I fall in love with men."
• Yannis P [46:34]: "I'm reading Black Boy by Richard Wright."

These segments are interspersed with humorous banter and playful teasing, reflecting their strong camaraderie.

5. Engaging with Fans: Patreon and PPW (Pseudo Penis of the Week)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to fan engagement. Chris and Yannis encourage listeners to support the podcast through Patreon, highlighting exclusive content and the unique opportunity for fans to have their names read aloud.

• Chrissy D. [07:28]: "If you make a funny name or any name at all, we read them out loud."
• Yannis P [51:08]: "We're building our infrastructure and thanks. We're here."

They introduce the "Pseudo Penis of the Week" (PPW) segment, where particularly creative or amusing fan names are selected and celebrated, fostering a sense of community and participation.

6. Conclusion and Shoutouts

As the episode wraps up, the hosts provide shoutouts to supporters, announce upcoming events, and reiterate their commitment to reviving the podcast's infrastructure. They emphasize their mission to blend humor with historical insights, assuring fans of more engaging content to come.

• Chrissy D. [72:14]: "We are the Menendez sisters."
• Yannis P [50:48]: "The hyenas are back. Everything's good."

They leave listeners with a mix of humor and heartfelt messages, reinforcing the podcast's return and setting the stage for future episodes.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Chrissy D. [02:02]: "We are back."
• Chrissy D. [14:33]: "What is an October surprise, you ask? It's when a girl's got a penis."
• Yannis P [24:02]: "The October surprise originated in the 80s, but it's been around forever."
• Chrissy D. [35:12]: "Jimmy Carter is still alive. He's what, 100, 101 years old."
• Chrissy D. [07:28]: "If you make a funny name or any name at all, we read them out loud."
• Chrissy D. [72:14]: "We are the Menendez sisters."

Final Thoughts

Surprise The History Hyenas R Back! serves as a robust reintroduction to Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas's dynamic comedic partnership. Through a blend of historical satire, personal anecdotes, and interactive segments, the episode successfully re-establishes the podcast's unique flavor, promising listeners a blend of laughter and learning in episodes to come.

For more information and to support the podcast, visit Patreon and follow their YouTube channel.

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Note: Certain sections of the transcript contained non-content segments such as advertisements and promotional material, which have been excluded from this summary to maintain focus on the podcast's primary discussions and content.

Transcript

[Chrissy D.]

Explaining football to the friend who's just there for the nachos. Hard tailgating from home like a pro with snacks and drinks. Everyone will love an easy win. And with Instacart helping deliver The Snack Time MVPs to your door, you're ready for the game in as fast as 30 minutes. So you never miss a play or lose your seat on the couch or.

[Giannis Pappas]

Have to go head to head for.

[Chrissy D.]

The last chicken wing shop. Game day faves on instacart and enjoy. $0 delivery fees on your first three. Grocery order valid for a limited time. Other fees and terms apply.

[Giannis Pappas]

Hey, how you doing? It's been a long time. I just wanted to say my name is Sean Terry, Ladder 14.

[Chrissy D.]

And I'm Patrick Mulroney, Ladder 14. And we heard that the two gay guys, Chrissy D. And Yanni P. They brought back the pod history hyenas.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, well, it's Chrissy D. And the Mexican kid are back. And I just want you to know we're always out there fighting fire. Also want you to know that our audio podcast is back. It's called Ladder 14. You'll also be hearing us on patreon.com/history Hyenas.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, a lot of 14.

[Giannis Pappas]

We are back.

[Chrissy D.]

And it's nice that we finally got some good content because, you know, I. I can't keep watching Kill Tony every week.

[Giannis Pappas]

We can't do it. Although, you know, the kids got some good jokes. I really appreciate what he did out there.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. I mean, you know, he's trying to save this country as what these history hyenas are trying to do. They're trying to save this nation.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes. So we're back.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And we hope you guys enjoy. It's been a little while. We miss you guys. But we were out there fighting fire.

[Chrissy D.]

We're out there fighting fighting fires. And we had to do what we had to do. And make no mistake, Eric Adams is innocent.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. When you said make no mistake, he sounded like that Chrissy D. Kid.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, I did a little bit Sound like that Chrissy D. Kid. And I said that Yanni P. Kid lost a lot of weight. I wonder if he's on Ozempic or he just has AIDS like his brother.

[Giannis Pappas]

We don't know. It could be. But the one thing that is true is we are back. Patreon.com history hytas.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. And then YouTube.com history. Now we are back to history. Is up.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's right. Those boys are back.

[Chrissy D.]

Those boys are back.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know what that means if they're Back.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

That means we're back. That's true.

[Chrissy D.]

Because we do live inside of them. Yeah. Yeah. We do live inside of them. @YouTube.com history Hyenas is back. And I heard that they actually already did an episode and it's called October Surprise, but it is November, so I don't know.

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't know. Now you want to go get a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich?

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, I do want to get a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich.

[Giannis Pappas]

A coffee, and for anyone.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, coffee. And you know how I like it, Leroy. And for anyone who's ever said that. That firemen are racist, tell me how him and I could be racist when our favorite dessert is black and white cookies.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's right. We eat black and whites. That has black and white in it. Which is. We're all for that. As long as it's for America.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And of course, in conclusion, I hope you did the right thing on this election and you voted. Yeah. For someone we like to call Saint Donald Trump.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

And I hope you didn't vote for someone whose father was probably a me.

[Giannis Pappas]

Surprise. And we are back. My name is Giannis Pappas, and welcome to the History Hyenas. I'm sitting here with my co host, Chrissy. Two babies. Yeah. Don't push it. Don't shit your pants.

[Chrissy D.]

Give me a sec. Hold on. There it is. Yeah. And we're back, guys. It's four years later. I mean, what happened?

[Giannis Pappas]

Is it three or four years? I can't remember.

[Chrissy D.]

I don't know.

[Giannis Pappas]

I've been in a coma. I don't know what's going on because.

[Chrissy D.]

I've had multiple babies.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

I got two babies. Now you've lost weight, put it back on, and then lost it again. You were a chain in guy the last time I saw you. Now you're a chain out guy. And I wear hats. So I don't know what's happening because.

[Giannis Pappas]

That hat is hanging out for dear life.

[Chrissy D.]

Because like a.

[Giannis Pappas]

Like a fat girl with her pump.

[Chrissy D.]

Am I a hat guy or not?

[Giannis Pappas]

You're not a hat guy.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

I know you're a little. I know you're a little insecure about the. That you got long hair. I got long hair. I'm not sure if you're a long hair.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, but if I'm not. But here's the thing. If I'm not going to wear that, then I will support the United States.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now you just look like my dad. Go to the opera before you pass.

[Chrissy D.]

I mean, I. Because this kind of hat, this Is like, what an Eastern hemi wears. Who, like, was born in this country, tries to make believe they're not a commie.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's what a guy who was a veteran of, like, World War II wears. Yeah. Because he wants to get noticed in the street. But unfortunately, not too many people say thank you for your service because Mrs. Pappas isn't around.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. Should I. Should I wear this hat, though, for the entirety?

[Giannis Pappas]

I think you should.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. Why not?

[Giannis Pappas]

You should. Because here's the thing. You're Chrissy. Red, white and Jew.

[Chrissy D.]

That's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Red, white, Jew is. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're a white. You're a white guy for Kamala. And that's just what's going on.

[Chrissy D.]

I'm a fucking wgk. And listen, dude, here's the truth is things are a little different now. Mike Mush finally did kill Venadilla. And then, you know, it's unfortunately. So he's in prison. Dr. Documentary will be coming out about him. And the bottom line is this. Okay, folks, here's the bottom line is Giannis and I are going for Halloween as the Menendez brothers, because that's who we are. We blew our podcast. Podcast head off. And now circumstances have changed and the people are back on our side. So we brought it back. But make no mistake, we will get right out of prison and blow it off again because those people are psychos.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, talk about a surprise. The Menendez brother who killed their parents. Everyone was against the Menendez brothers except for the women, because women always like cute murderers.

[Chrissy D.]

Cuz. Can I ask you a question?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

The Menendez brothers kill your mom and dad. They've died in the last four years since I've been here.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I've lost family members. But here's the funny thing. The Menendez brothers are now being re examined. Everyone has sympathy for the Menendez brothers. And here's the thing. This is why it's going to be an October surprise, which is what the episode is about.

[Chrissy D.]

It's gonna be great.

[Giannis Pappas]

Is because the Menendez brothers are. Guess what?

[Chrissy D.]

What?

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuban.

[Chrissy D.]

Cuban.

[Giannis Pappas]

And how do the Cubans vote?

[Chrissy D.]

Communist.

[Giannis Pappas]

No.

[Chrissy D.]

Kamala. Oh, Republican. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, they hate communists.

[Chrissy D.]

Oh. Oh, that's right.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Because they hate Castro. Right? Right. So they're going to vote Donnie T. They're going to come out, make a statement in a couple of days, and they're going to say, we, the Menendez brothers, are endorsing Donnie T. The Choo Choo Train.

[Chrissy D.]

Donnie the Choo Choo Train, which is somebody by the Way's Patreon name. Somebody's Patreon name is Donnie the [e-mail] history, which at the end of this episode we will read out because there's a lot of Patreon names. We thank you to the three, maybe 4,000 people that have signed up over the last week. We're gonna get to your names on this show at the end of every single episode. If you sign [e-mail] historyhienas, not only will you get the episode that will appear on YouTube one week earlier, not only will you get a 20 minute audio of Patreon exclusive content, but you will also get your name read aloud at the end of every episode. And if we encourage you to make a funny name because at the end of the episode we will read out all the funniest. We will read out every name but the funniest names will get put on a list and then we will pick one lucky winner and we call that person the pseudo penis of the week, the PPW Shout Out Hyen. And that's what we're going to do. And I nailed that because I am screwed it.

[Giannis Pappas]

You are screwed in.

[Chrissy D.]

And screwed in. By the way, tell them what screwed in means for the new people who forgot.

[Giannis Pappas]

Screwed in means you're smart, you're getting that money. It means you got your frisbee on.

[Chrissy D.]

It means your yarmulke screwed up to the tidy. You got your yarmulker screwed onto the top of your head and you're ready to go.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because we're screwed in.

[Chrissy D.]

Kids, we got to introduce our new.

[Giannis Pappas]

Producer, our new producer, Jesse Scottoro. He's the finger painter. He paints fat people. He's the, he's the most famous finger painter right now. Young hyenas fans, it's just happened.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

He wants no attention. And now he's getting it.

[Chrissy D.]

And now he's getting it. And here's the truth is I've said this, I suggested this in the group chat and we've all agreed what, what Jesse really likes to do is he likes to paint fat people. He sees fat people in the street and he likes. And then he goes home and he silently paints them. So what I want from our fan base here, if you really think you got what it takes to be painted, if you got, if you think your body's fat enough and you got what it takes to be painted by Jesse, I want you to post a picture of yourself or, you know, you can nominate [e-mail] history ianis and we will pick one person and Jesse, as a Christmas gift, we will mail a. A picture of your fat body to yourself if that's what you want. And you're loved and you love to be fat and you're Lizzo and you're embracing it. We want that. We want Jesse to paint you if you're fat.

[Giannis Pappas]

Lizzo's lost some weight.

[Chrissy D.]

Lizzo looks good. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Lizzo has lost some weight. So, yeah, before you go on, we go V, which I love that name or is epic. Just. Just have your health not be great for a little while to get a chance to be painted by the great finger painter Jesse Skutora. Because Trump Iron Man.

[Chrissy D.]

Should that.

[Giannis Pappas]

If he wins, should that be a movie franchise?

[Chrissy D.]

Trump Iron Man.

[Giannis Pappas]

Have you seen the Trump Iron Man?

[Chrissy D.]

No, I haven't.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, well, there's a new nft. It's Trump Iron Man. And I also want to say, people go, what happened? What happened? Let me tell you. We don't know because I have no idea. No, like, why does a. Why does a hyena have a pseudo penis? To give birth out of a penis that's not functional. And most babies die and sometimes the mom dies. And why are the women bigger than the men? I don't understand.

[Chrissy D.]

It's not relevant. As we've told you many, many times, we have the bodies of men, the br of women. So sometimes things are just going to be a little different and you can't pin us down, and you're just going to have to deal with it. But make no mistake, I'm still eating black and whites.

[Giannis Pappas]

And here's the deal. We do have women's braid. That's why my head is so small, because their braids are smaller and your brain just moves. So that's why you're constantly getting concussions. Yes, is because your braid is constantly banging up against the skull. Because the skull's big. But the brain smoke, that's a woman's brain.

[Chrissy D.]

That's what it is. Remember, I have a big head. Giannis is a small head.

[Giannis Pappas]

Between us, we got one normal size.

[Chrissy D.]

Normal size head. Giannis's eyes are too close together. Mine are too far apart. We just balance each other. And it's been a few years of imbalance. And now we're back. Because here's the truth. Here's the truth, okay?

[Giannis Pappas]

Be crystal clear with the people.

[Chrissy D.]

I'm being crystal clear with you, okay? You need to do the right thing tomorrow at those voting polls, who you vote for. Look at my hat. I'll tell you what? I'll tell you what I Not. I'll tell you. Listen, here's the truth. I'm voting.

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't know. Because you.

[Chrissy D.]

I voted for freedom.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're voting for freedom.

[Chrissy D.]

So whoever you think that is, that is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Well, Kamala says it's freedom versus. What did she say? Division. Yeah, that's her line. So then that means you vote for the Laser beam Leroy.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, Laser Beam. Because she's half black, half Indian. It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's what a way Shock. She's supposed to.

[Chrissy D.]

That's right away.

[Giannis Pappas]

Jesse, you learn.

[Chrissy D.]

That's what a way Shannon is post. Yeah. So Laser Beam Leroy. And it's great. It's. It's. That's who she is. And again, the fans that know. No, here's the thing. If you have a new friend that's listening to the podcast, you're gonna have to educate them. You're gonna have to tell them what a Leroy is. You're just gonna have to look back, just Google his trainees. Leroy, coffee.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a good idea to just go back and listen to all the old episodes to find out when the lingo started, because I don't even remember which episode started. I do know that Weijiang Jing. When you hear that, it means we're just going wild. We're just joking. It's a joke.

[Chrissy D.]

Just having a good time. It's character piece.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's it.

[Chrissy D.]

But that's not the one. We got to find the exact.

[Giannis Pappas]

Find the exact Wei.

[Chrissy D.]

Sean Xi. And it. There's got if on. This is what I love about our fan base. And what I miss about our fan base is they'll help us. Can you put the original sound file of the way Sean Sheen put that either in the YouTube comments or the patreon.com history is on the community board. If. Do we still have a community board on Patreon?

[Giannis Pappas]

I think we do. That is actually Wei Xing, but it's pronounced differently because we. That is the unic Weijong Jing. But this chick pronounces it differently. These ch.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, the Chinese can be very tricky. They change hands, put on both. Yeah, yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

So it's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Cuz now you look like you definitely have a Puerto Rican family and you know, throw the wig on. Yeah, that wig is not going to fit.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, it will.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

It will.

[Chrissy D.]

And then hold on.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Because it's what it is. We're having fun.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're right back where we're hurt. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now we're having fun. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes. You do look like special needs Stamos. It's what it is. I know you've. I know. Every time I've seen you in the last four years, I said the kid just looks like a Downey Stamos.

[Giannis Pappas]

I do. I look like John Stamos if he was blind.

[Chrissy D.]

And cuz what's amazing now in these past four years. See, sometimes this needs to happen because now you're actually friends with Stamos.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm friends with Stamos.

[Chrissy D.]

That's.

[Giannis Pappas]

I was just at his house the other day.

[Chrissy D.]

I mean, house is house.

[Giannis Pappas]

His house is pretty nice, but it's not crazy. I went and I looked downstairs. I didn't see any bar that had adrenochrome on tap. I didn't see it.

[Chrissy D.]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

Tom Hanks hasn't been over, so I don't know, maybe there's a bookcase where you push a book and it turns around. Then there's children's baby blood. I don't know.

[Chrissy D.]

I don't know. But.

[Giannis Pappas]

But he's doing something. Because kid is 60 and he looks 30.

[Chrissy D.]

He looks good.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's doing something.

[Chrissy D.]

He looks good. And make no mistake, don't leak. Yeah. Make no mistake. If you're around our age 40 now I'm 40 years old. And make no mistake, I flick my beat to Stamos. Yeah. Donald Trump Iron Man. I, I this the first time I'm seeing it, but I got to be honest with you, I like it. 14. That's a lot of 14.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a character piece. Yeah, that's a character.

[Chrissy D.]

I think, I do think this, I mean, this episode's October surpr. Surprise. So we're going to educate you. I'm going to be honest with you. This is going to be, this is going to be one of those history episodes where it's mostly driven by Giannis historically, because Giannis did send me the information yesterday to look over and I was at the Yankee game with my dad. Yeah, okay. With Tampa Tony, who is my dad, also lost 80 pounds. And he says that he did it only his. He changed his diet to. Now he only eats half a tuna fish sandwich once a day every day, and he's lost 80 pounds.

[Giannis Pappas]

That is the back to school Tony diet right there.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because he looks like high school Tony.

[Chrissy D.]

He looks like high school.

[Giannis Pappas]

He looks great.

[Chrissy D.]

It looks like high school Tony. And shout out to whoever at Yankee Stadium last night yelled that my dad looks franks and beans. So thank you, whoever did that. It Was funny. Franks and beans is another. Oh, goodie. And again.

[Giannis Pappas]

Or brother school.

[Chrissy D.]

You could always say brother school is another one. Because you honest. Yes. Here's the thing. I don't catch up. I don't know if we can explain them all, but you're just gonna have to know.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, yeah, you're just gonna have to know, but. Surprise. October surprise for the podcast world. We are back. We're covering October surprises today, right? What is an October surprise, you ask? It's when a girl's got a penis.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, that's what it is. Which, make no mistake, it's happened to me a couple times in Houston. I blew a guy in Houston.

[Giannis Pappas]

Houston.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

We still don't know what happened to Houston. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

You know, to be honest with you, I still don't know, but I'm getting closer in therapy. It's almost out.

[Giannis Pappas]

You have very. You. You really do have very strong powers of denial and to be able to.

[Chrissy D.]

Black things out, what I'm able to do.

[Giannis Pappas]

Father Bill got got you.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, he did. I'm able to block. Block everything out, and I'm able to kind of just go and kind of start anew each day. Like you said, I'm. I'm like a dog. Like, every moment's a new moment.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're a dog in a dog park, and the leash has gotten off, and I'm chasing you.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, it's.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's.

[Chrissy D.]

It's what it is. It's what it is. And make no mistake, one day for the. What we will do is replace the Tim Dillon episode, or we will make a level right under the. The famous Tim Dillon episode, which was put up there for a million bucks and for 500,000. What we're going to do is put a level where me and Giannis read our text to each other from the last four years.

[Giannis Pappas]

We can't do that.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. I say we put that in for 500.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm screwed it cuz we could never, ever read the texts.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. I mean, that's a sick one.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. Yeah. This is the thing. Whatever happened, usually you are like a dog. So if you go gay that day, the next day, you're just ashamed. You start the day Tabula Rosa. You're Tabula Rosa, Chrissy. Every day.

[Chrissy D.]

It's what it is. I mean. I mean, you wake up, you go, where am I?

[Giannis Pappas]

What day is it? What's going on?

[Chrissy D.]

Because, I mean, I got to be honest with you. You know, Jazz has asked me many, many times in our relationship. Chris, just tell me the truth. Are you gay? And I have the same response. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. The answer is. The answer. The answer is I might have been an hour ago, but I'm not now, but I could be tomorrow.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's how it goes.

[Chrissy D.]

I don't know. And I just. The truth is, is I still stand firm in what I believe. I have sex with women. I fall in love with men.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right?

[Chrissy D.]

That's what it is, and that's what defines me. But have I ever, ever had sex with a man or any physical contact in a gay way with a man? The answer is not yet.

[Giannis Pappas]

Except maybe Houston, we don't know.

[Chrissy D.]

Except maybe Houston, we don't know. Because the truth is, is it's very difficult for me. You know, in. You know, Asians, they get.

[Giannis Pappas]

I love Asian because with that hair, I want to kiss you out of the mouth because you look like a lady right now.

[Chrissy D.]

Because I'm a handsome kid.

[Giannis Pappas]

Well, right now you look completely Frank Sabiz, and it's hilarious.

[Chrissy D.]

And this is what it is. And this, because I think that the truth is, as much like October Surprise, which we're gonna get to, is that's kind of how I live, is I'll wake up one day, and I'll have. I'll just get overcome with emotion and lady's brain and estrogen and all those things, and I'll say, you know what I'll say to myself? I'll wake up and I'll say, you know what? No more of the gay jokes. Stop doing that. You know, have your comedy go a different way. No more of the gay jokes. And then three hours will go by, and it'll just be all gay jokes. Y. I don't get mad at myself anymore. I forgive myself. And I just kind of say to myself, you know, just be spiritual. Don't hurt yourself. You know, I've been in therapy with many different therapists over the last few years.

[Giannis Pappas]

Promiscuous with the therapist.

[Chrissy D.]

I'm promiscuous with the therapist. I mean, I get them right in and right out. Okay? I go. The two things that I love going is I love going to my therapist's office and the city MD to check the blood pressure.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. You're still doing that?

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. I do have high cholesterol, but the good cholesterol is very high, which the doctor said that's a good thing. It's actually, even though my cholesterols went up to 275, that my risk of heart attack and stroke has went down because the good cholesterol is up.

[Giannis Pappas]

You have high. You know how Charlie Sheen has tiger blood? Yeah. Maybe you have hyena blood. It's just different. Like, people look at it and they go, for a human, this isn't good.

[Chrissy D.]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

But for a hyena, maybe that's perfect blood pressure.

[Chrissy D.]

It could be perfect blood pressure.

[Giannis Pappas]

It would be weird. If you live the life that you live and you had low blood pressure, that wouldn't make sense. Then you'd be like, wait, that doesn't make sense. You actually need that level of blood pressure to keep up with the level. With your level of add.

[Chrissy D.]

It's what it is. And I, as you said, I am 40 now, so we are in 50 milligrams, low sardin. Blood pressure medicine. But it's just. What? It's just a little pill. Dr. Drew told me it's good for the kidneys.

[Giannis Pappas]

Dr. Drew is the. Is the most real doctor?

[Chrissy D.]

Yes. Dr. Drew is my physician.

[Giannis Pappas]

He is the most real doctor out there. I. I only trust doctors who do content. That's what I'm going to tell you right now. I only trust historians who do content. I only trust. I only trust political pundits who are comedians and I only trust political candidates who are laser beam Leroy's or are game show host.

[Chrissy D.]

That's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's it.

[Chrissy D.]

That's it. I only trust a doctor who. When they email me and I ask them where their office is and they write back, your mom's house. Yeah. That's how I know.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I can't talk right now because I'm guesting on Tom Segura's.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

One of the many pots.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

I mean, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Much like Chrissy and Houston, one of the first October surprises we can talk about is a real. Is a real fun one.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. Let's go back to the beginning. Right? Is that where we're going?

[Giannis Pappas]

Where are we going? To the.

[Chrissy D.]

I'm saying the. Where the October Surprise originated.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, you want to tell me?

[Chrissy D.]

I didn't look at the research because I was at the Yankee game with my dad.

[Giannis Pappas]

Remember, the October Surprise originated. The term originated. They've always been around since the beginning of time. And what is an October surprise? It's some news that breaks right before an election or roast jokes that happen at Madison Square Garden that could sway the election. How funny would it be if Tony Hitchcliff sways the election?

[Chrissy D.]

Guys, if Tony Hinchcliffe is in fact the October Surprise. Let's get him on the pod. Yeah, let's because we do know him. And here's the truth. As a father of Puerto Ricans, as the father of Puerto Rico, I mean.

[Giannis Pappas]

You'Re, you're, you're, you're in a Puerto Rican family.

[Chrissy D.]

It's not an. It is not an island of garbage. And I think Tony just didn't even really mean to say that. He just didn't word a joke, right? Because we all know Puerto Rico is a beautiful place. I mean, I know it's very beautiful. I can't even live if I'm too far away from Puerto Ricans and pizza. I can't even breathe. So I love Puerto Rican people. And, you know, people were messaging me saying I need to get the Puerto Rican flags out of my bio because I did kill Tony like three weeks ago.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, you're getting those.

[Chrissy D.]

So that's. So the reason why I caught it a little bit in the deep DMs and on my comments is because I did kill Tony three weeks ago.

[Giannis Pappas]

So his video views probably last.

[Chrissy D.]

It's one of the last ones. So people are like, how can you stand for this? I'm like, what do you think? I did a guy show three weeks ago and then he said something two days ago. What are you talking about? I mean, people are really fucking frank.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, people. People on the Internet, really, they just try to. They just try to stir things up.

[Chrissy D.]

Well, they try to start things up and they're just. What I say now. Now. What I say now is I go back to what? To what? Tampa. Tony told me. My Tony D. Special needs Tony. Tony Shortbus.

[Giannis Pappas]

I like to call him High school Tony. High School Tony Looks like he's going back to school. He does.

[Chrissy D.]

High School Tony, you know, he told me.

[Giannis Pappas]

Did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families with greenlight. You can send money to kids quickly, set up chores, automate allowance and keep.

[Chrissy D.]

An eye on your kids spending with real time notifications.

[Giannis Pappas]

Kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely. And parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money with guardrails in place. Try Greenlight risk free [e-mail] Spotify.

[Chrissy D.]

Oh, such a clutch off season pickup Dave.

[Giannis Pappas]

I was worried we'd bring back the same team.

[Chrissy D.]

I meant those blackout motorized shades.

[Giannis Pappas]

Lines.com made it crazy affordable to replace.

[Chrissy D.]

Our old blue blinds. Hard to install.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, it's easy. I installed these and then got some from my mom.

[Chrissy D.]

She talked to a design consultant for free.

[Giannis Pappas]

And scheduled a professional measure and install.

[Chrissy D.]

Hall of fame, son.

[Giannis Pappas]

They're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings in the world.

[Chrissy D.]

Blinds.com is the goat shop.

[Giannis Pappas]

Blinds.com right now.

[Chrissy D.]

And get up to 40% off select styles plus a free professional measure. Rules and restrictions may apply. Remember, there was this example. There was this time where he saw a meter maid giving a ticket to a.

[Giannis Pappas]

Probably the most hated people on the planet. Right?

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. So this guy. It was in Staten island. He was. I think it was Staten island or maybe it was deep Brooklyn, I remember. But he was screaming at this meter maid to give him the ticket. And my dad was just like, you know, we got my dad's car. And he goes. He was like, you know, you see that. That guy screaming at the meter maid? He was like, it's stupid. He was like, I want to ask that guy who was screaming, do you want to change places with the meter maid? Is that. Do you want that guy's life? Do you think that guy's happy giving everybody tickets? Just give him the ticket. He said, just, if that was me, we just accept the ticket and we move on. Because you say to yourself, at least I don't have to be in that guy's shoe.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right, right, right. That's pretty.

[Chrissy D.]

I'm just saying that's how I feel, you know, about this whole thing that's happened recently is like, you know what?

[Giannis Pappas]

At least not Tony right now.

[Chrissy D.]

No, no. Well, that. That. Or at least I'm not somebody messaging someone to say, do you stand with this voice? Or I'm not that comedian making a video that's not even funny, crying about jokes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right, Right.

[Chrissy D.]

No, it's what they say. At least I'm not that guy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right.

[Chrissy D.]

And I'm happy. I'm not that guy.

[Giannis Pappas]

But you know what? Have you ever got banged out for a ticket? It. Yeah, it's hard to. It's hard to say. At least I'm not the meter maid. It's really easy to say, I want to toss this fucking meter made onto the hood of my car.

[Chrissy D.]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Sometimes in New York City, they bang out 150 or whatever.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And it's hard to keep the blood pressure down when that happens.

[Chrissy D.]

It's one of those things where I. I. To be honest with you, I don't pay the. I never even know when I have parking tickets. Parking tickets anymore. I just google my license plate and New York city fine violation, and I just. And usually I get hit for about 900amonth.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. So you basically your. The way you find out about tickets is at October Sur surprise. You go, let's see what's going to happen. You spin the wheel and go, what did I do? What red lights did I run?

[Chrissy D.]

Let's just say full October surprise. Yeah, that's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's what it is.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

So the October Surprise.

[Chrissy D.]

Are you wearing socks?

[Giannis Pappas]

They're low.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

They're low. Socks.

[Chrissy D.]

Want to make sure?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. So the October Surprise has always been around. And what we found is politics has always been dirty, Right? It's always been dirty. People think that this is the first time a president, presidential, Johnny Biden, a presidential candidate has been shot. The first time someone's been. Been accusing the system of voter fraud. The first time they used immigrants as a scapegoat to put fear into the white worker.

[Chrissy D.]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

The white worker has always has been scared. Before the Mexicans, you had the Chinese. Yes, the Chinese, Yes. So the October Surprise was actually coined in the 80s, but it's been around forever. And it started with Reagan and Carter. Right. Jimmy Carter's still alive.

[Chrissy D.]

Jimmy Carter is still.

[Giannis Pappas]

And he's probably the best guy on the planet. He's a good person. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Jimmy Carter is still alive. He's what, 100, 101 years old.

[Giannis Pappas]

He may be 101. I mean, his head is almost off because he's on the Runway bad.

[Chrissy D.]

If he wants to extend his life, he's going to have to change his diet to half a tuna fish sandwich once a day.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuz. Yeah, he's going to have to do that. He is sitting right now in jet blue. He's a third row on the Runway. On the Runway, ready for takeoff, which.

[Chrissy D.]

Is what I believe. Jessica, that's a. That's one from him, right? What on the Runway we talked about.

[Giannis Pappas]

Is that yours? Didn't used to say.

[Chrissy D.]

Oh, he said you'd say that guy's close.

[Giannis Pappas]

He said he's close.

[Chrissy D.]

The waiting room.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's in the way. He's in the waiting room.

[Chrissy D.]

That guy's close.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, the guy's close. He's close. Jimmy Carter.

[Chrissy D.]

Which is. Okay, so Jimmy Carter. See this one? I know. October surprise. The Iran hostage crisis.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's right, the Iran. Iran hostage crisis.

[Chrissy D.]

Which Iranian women are beautiful? They are gorgeous, gorgeous women. I like them.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know why?

[Chrissy D.]

Because they look Puerto Rican. Yes, that's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

They do the closest maybe to Puerto Rican.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, yeah, they look Puerto Rican. And it's just there's a little bit of kind of just Having sex with the enemy. And I like it. It what it is. And they're beautiful women.

[Giannis Pappas]

They are. And they like to call themselves Persian.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. Which I like.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Cuz they are Persian. Persian. Cuz Iranian. The ones who are like against like the ayatollah or whoever's in charge over there.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, I think it's just the king Muzzy.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. And so Sha King.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, sh. He's, he's muzzy now. Cuz let me tell you something. Let me tell you something for anyone out there who says, you know who's.

[Chrissy D.]

In charge of the muzzies now, shut up.

[Giannis Pappas]

She's the best.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, she's the best.

[Giannis Pappas]

She's the best.

[Chrissy D.]

She really truly is the best.

[Giannis Pappas]

Charge.

[Chrissy D.]

She's Muslim and that's a beautiful thing.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, she's in charge.

[Chrissy D.]

She's open. So she's out there. I mean, because that's the thing. You go Muslim, you are going to be the queen.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because right now you're.

[Chrissy D.]

Make no mistake, this is what it is. This is how I feel. And I gotta be honest with you, dude, throwing on this wig in the hat, I. I may look insane to you, but I feel, I feel very common. I feel as on the nose as on the nose can be. Right now I feel like I'm in my body, I'm in my feet, I'm where my feet are. That's a new thing I do now. That's a new lesson is I'm where my feet are.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Because I can't be traveling and doing this and have half my mind with the baby. Half my mind worried about what I'm gonna eat, you know, the other half of my mind in the gym, I gotta just be where my feet are. And I'm act. I'm absolutely right now where my feet are.

[Giannis Pappas]

And you got two feet square in Bay Ridge right now.

[Chrissy D.]

In Bay Ridge. Which I can't explain to you because.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know what else is on the nose? My two eyes.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes, they are. Yes. Because are we doing a live election special tomorrow or what have we decided?

[Giannis Pappas]

The election's not tomorrow, cuz.

[Chrissy D.]

No, but by the time. Oh yeah, that's right. Because it's going to come out on Patreon. Yeah, no, but I mean, isn't this coming out?

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, you mean. Yeah. You mean you try to go to the future now. Yeah, but yeah, yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

You know what?

[Giannis Pappas]

Just I thought you were supposed to stay where your feet are.

[Chrissy D.]

We should do a live election [e-mail] do it.

[Giannis Pappas]

We just got to figure out if we're gonna do it here, if we're gonna do it at the stand.

[Chrissy D.]

I still want List to do it at the stand in front of a live audience. But I do like the idea of.

[Giannis Pappas]

Just, just here getting twisted. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

And then having fans come on in the. In the. On the zoom.

[Giannis Pappas]

I like that.

[Chrissy D.]

And getting zucchini slices and all that. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I want a zucchini slice.

[Chrissy D.]

Have you been having zucchini? Have you still been.

[Giannis Pappas]

We have. Yes.

[Chrissy D.]

So you haven't. So you. You've still. Even though I haven't been here for you. Still just eating the food that we used to share together. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuz I've been cheating on you with zucchini slices and grandma slices and bagels for bagel boy. Yeah. Because I just sit there alone and I weep and I say something's not completely. Because every time I have a smoothi go, I can't do this.

[Chrissy D.]

Cuz I got to be. Cuz I got to be honest with you. As soon as we stopped doing this pod, you went out, you started having babies, you put your chain out and you started selling tickets. You became me. You just morphed into Chrissy. Cuz that's just what. It's the way the cookie crumbles.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's just the way the cookie crumbles. Much like the cookie crumbled against Jimmy Carter.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

When Republican. Who was it? One of his top guys, Reagan's top guys said that. Oh, he used reverse psychology. And he goes, jimmy Carter is about to announce that the hostages are going to be released in order to win this election. It's going to boost his ratings and he's going to win. But it was reverse psychology because what Reagan was doing behind the scenes with his people was negotiating that that didn't happen so he could do it.

[Chrissy D.]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

So the announcement actually never happened. And that was the October surprise.

[Chrissy D.]

Got it.

[Giannis Pappas]

The October surprise was. Was them saying there was going to be one, but there wasn't one. And guess what? The October surprise came in January, a couple months later, after Reagan won the election. And everyone in your family was very happy.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And then the hostages were released. They were released and Jimmy Carter went back to peanut farming and being the.

[Chrissy D.]

Best guy on the planet. What it is. And the. At the end of the day. And it's. It's just, you know, Muslims don't like us, but we like them.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's what it is.

[Chrissy D.]

It's what it is. I don't know why they don't like us.

[Giannis Pappas]

I think it has something to do with a country there. Oh, yeah, Yeah, I think. Yeah, I think it's something to do with that. Yeah. Also, the Christian thing, there's a lot of. There's been a lot of conquistador situations. Now, cuz, you told me your house in Staten island was bought by Muzzies, so I think we have to do another crusade to take your house back.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, it's one of those.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuz do we march to your house with crosses and take it back?

[Chrissy D.]

Cuz make no mistake, we should take it back. Because, I mean, literally. I mean, literally, the day was a Palestinian family that bought my house on Staten Island. The day that they bought it, they bought it October 6th. October 7th. Happened out the very next day, and my neighbors were texting me saying it's my fault, and I brought water this block. Yeah. I mean, cuz, make no mistake, I moved into that family. I moved my family into a house on the top of Toad Hill, Staten island, which is a very. You know.

[Giannis Pappas]

Can you bleep the address, please?

[Chrissy D.]

No, I don't live there anymore.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, that's okay. People know where a Palestinian family lives.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, but no Toad Hill. No, but it's just.

[Giannis Pappas]

There's a lot of Toad Hills.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, that's a number.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Cuz, make no mist. Make no mistake. And I swear to God, this is true for the first six months of us living there. I just told him that Jazz and my children were Italian, and they didn't find out they were Puerto Rican until June, when my Jazz put a Puerto Rican flag up for the Puerto Rican Day parade. And my neighbor, who's a doctor across the street was like, oh, are you guys really going for the Puerto Rican Day Parade? I was like. And I forgot, you know, the lie. I was like, oh, yeah. I was like, you know, Puerto Rican. She was like, oh, you told me she was Italian. I was like, yeah. I just wanted to be nice with the neighbors because we are in Staten island, and. And so. And then. And. But Jazz thought it was.

[Giannis Pappas]

You snuck one in there, cuz. You. You and Frank, they're into the house.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, I and franked her into the.

[Giannis Pappas]

House and franked her into the neighborhood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're Schindler. You.

[Chrissy D.]

You Schindlered her. Yeah, Schindler's a cousin. You were a har. Puerto Rican, Cuz make no mistake, I moved on to that block in a very exclusive neighborhood in a very beautiful house with a family of Puerto Ricans, and one of them was transgender. So make no mistake, I had some Explaining to do at the Staten island city council meeting that I got called into month one.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuz you single handedly dropped the value of the neighborhood on Zillow.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, it's what it is. Cuz make no mistake, I sold my house for long lost people. People can't believe why I sold my house on Staten island so quickly. Make no mistake, I was pushed out. I was pushed out and now I live safely amongst the Jews. Right now I live safely amongst the Jews in a neighborhood, let's just call it Long Island.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes. It's pretty much.

[Chrissy D.]

It's pretty much right there.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

And I'm safely in the confines of my Jewish brothers and sisters.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes, you are.

[Chrissy D.]

But I. But we also do support Palestinian people too.

[Giannis Pappas]

We do.

[Chrissy D.]

We are down the middle. We support it all.

[Giannis Pappas]

We are for everyone here, especially our favorite battle rapper, Zach isis.

[Chrissy D.]

Zach isis who' whose career is about.

[Giannis Pappas]

To take off probably.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And Emoji Face Mike Emoji Face Mike Hosh. His career will take off when they do make. When they do make the animated emoji movie. Yes. He will audition for it and he will get it.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think Mike Mush. We are good. What we're going to. What our plan is is we're going to have people right now we're skeleton operation. We're keeping it small because we do need to wait.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a skeleton operation.

[Chrissy D.]

We do build. We are building back the infrastructure here so we could. You can help build that back [e-mail] history hyenas. We will have what we're going to do. There is just audio only content. 20 minutes, 30 minutes but of wild shit on the audio. And a couple of kamikazes where if you remember that folks where one of us Giannis or I are filming are recording each other on our phones when the other one doesn't know and we throw that puppy up there for a hefty price.

[Giannis Pappas]

What we used to do was wild.

[Chrissy D.]

I mean we used to do as well it actually we could also. We could be federally indicted. We could. We could actually. We have actually committed crimes on each other. Yeah. And it's s located us. But at least we didn't go to a ditty party.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, no. At least we'd never been to a Diddy party. That's big, big trouble over there.

[Chrissy D.]

Kind of wish I would have went though because.

[Giannis Pappas]

Did he try to kill Jamie Foxx?

[Chrissy D.]

He did try to kill Jamie Foxx and now they're saying that he actually killed Brittany Murphy and her Husband.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, no.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. If you Google.

[Giannis Pappas]

What did they do?

[Chrissy D.]

Baby oil was. He did something with the baby oil and it gave them both.

[Giannis Pappas]

Does he kill people with baby oil?

[Chrissy D.]

He does kill people.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's got a lot of baby oil. A thousand bottles of baby oil oil. Yeah, that's a lot of baby oil.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, it's a lot of baby.

[Giannis Pappas]

Did you drown someone in baby oil?

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, I'm not into. I'm not into the baby oil porn. I. I've never. I've never been that. Sergio. Our good friend Sergio Chacon, when he used to watch baby oil porn. Baby oil porn. A lot on the road.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, Yeah, I used to. And you knew because you guys were sleeping in the same room.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, I. We. I had.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because what did he do to that poor little boy? Justin Bieber's.

[Chrissy D.]

It probably wasn't good because he really.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, he.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And they say maybe he killed his wife.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. I mean, there's just. There's no way he didn't kill some few peeps.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right. Maybe. Maybe Biggie and Tupac too. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

But here's the truth. But let me ask you this, and then we will get back to October Surprise.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Do you think, though, that we'll ever find out, or is it going to be like aliens and jfk, where they're going to fucking constantly, you know, dangle the carrot, but at the end of the day, nobody's ever going to know nothing.

[Giannis Pappas]

I think at the end of the day, nobody's going to know nothing because there's probably powerful people that he blackmailed. And then he may. He may end up going. He may end up doing the Steph curry in his.

[Chrissy D.]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

In his cell.

[Chrissy D.]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

I can't believe he hasn't Steph curried in the cell yet.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. You think he will?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, like Jeffrey Epstein got Steph curried.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because some people were like, we can't have this.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I think there's people. Because he was black, he was doing the same thing as Jeffrey Epstein was filming people doing things.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

And so then he could have power over them.

[Chrissy D.]

So, I mean. And essentially that's what we do with the Kamikaze is we have our own. We have our own version of the free coffee. I got to take. This fucking wig is sweaty. I don't know how you do it, but you need it. You need a little head.

[Giannis Pappas]

There's also like 15 years worth of sweat in there.

[Chrissy D.]

Who said that you make a lot of money off a lot of people.

[Giannis Pappas]

That way you'll be Careful with that. A lot of people eat off that.

[Chrissy D.]

I'm changing the hat back.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, go back.

[Chrissy D.]

I mean, because I'm growing my hair. It's just a process you're going to have to deal with.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, well, when the hair goes like that, you look like a white guy for Kamala. And when the other one goes on, you look like you TRUMP 2024 this way.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm just surprised it fits.

[Chrissy D.]

I mean.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Now. Now you look like you're ready to throw a rock through a Starbucks window.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, this is what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now.

[Chrissy D.]

I look like I've been paid by George Soros.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, you look like a George Soros soldier right now.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, I am. Yeah. I'm gonna. I'm here to cause chaos. Okay, so we have Jimmy Carter at the October Surprise. That was the big one. The Iran Hostage Crisis. And then tell us who. What was the next October surprise?

[Giannis Pappas]

There's a big.

[Chrissy D.]

There's a funny one that involves gay guys.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, we're gonna go straight to the funny one because, listen, there's a lot of them. Almost every election tries to have one.

[Chrissy D.]

Right?

[Giannis Pappas]

And here's the funny thing, like I said, the thing you learn is that dirty politics has always been around the same things because you just push your hair back.

[Chrissy D.]

It didn't move.

[Giannis Pappas]

It didn't move.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

The same themes have been around.

[Chrissy D.]

I still can't tell if you're bald or have hair. And it's been the same process for four years. I don't know where you are.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, because do I. I don't. I don't look like I've aged, right.

[Chrissy D.]

No, you actually don't.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because.

[Chrissy D.]

Wait, hold on. Wait a second. If I'm 40, that means you're almost 50.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm going to be there two years.

[Chrissy D.]

Jesse, how old are you? Are you 50 as well?

[Giannis Pappas]

40. I'm 40. 40.

[Chrissy D.]

40.

[Giannis Pappas]

Jesse's 40 plus.

[Chrissy D.]

Wow. 40 plus.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wait, so how old are you when you hit 40? You just say 40 plus. I'm 40 forever.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, you're 40 forever. So you're 40?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chrissy D.]

Wow.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's. It's what it is.

[Chrissy D.]

Gross.

[Giannis Pappas]

We're middle aged. Bed.

[Chrissy D.]

We are middle aged.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

You know what? ABC Wednesdays Tim Allen and Kat Dennings.

[Giannis Pappas]

Star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears. Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out.

[Chrissy D.]

What the rest of my life looks like. So a couple of days when his.

[Giannis Pappas]

Daughter moves back in.

[Chrissy D.]

The last time you walked out that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Door, you look back at me and gave me a double bird. I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.

[Chrissy D.]

The wheels come off.

[Giannis Pappas]

Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults? Have you watched the news lately? That's not a thing anymore. New Wednesdays, 8.7Central on ABC and stream on Hulu. You. If we took our blood pressure numbers, though, like I said, we're the same age.

[Chrissy D.]

We're the same age. Well, let me ask you this, because you've been 40 a little bit longer, but I kind of feel that 40. What. What 40 is to me right now is I'm at the beginning of getting older. This is the first year when you're 40. You say, I'm getting older, but then you've had a few years in 40 to kind of just accept that you're getting older. Because then when you turn 50, and if you're young and you're going to stay young and cute like this, then I kind of feel like at 50, call me cute.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Thanks, guys. You're still cute, too.

[Chrissy D.]

Thank you. You're gonna feel. You're gonna feel good at 50 because now you've. You've accepted what it is to get older, but now you're like a young, old guy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. And plus, people live now it's like, into their 80s. So, you know, it's like, unfortunately, when you look at the stats and they say 77, 78. For men. Unfortunately for white men.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

It seems to be. It seems to be older.

[Chrissy D.]

Right. Like, you. You can. You have a good chance of living to your 90s.

[Giannis Pappas]

It just seems like if you don't get cancer by a certain age, like, then. And it's just. Yeah. If you break it down by demographic, if, like, white guys usually live, like, into their mid-80s, my dad made it to 91, so I'm going 95, 91.

[Chrissy D.]

And your mom made it to 90, 90.

[Giannis Pappas]

And my grandparents went to 103 and 97.

[Chrissy D.]

That's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

And.

[Chrissy D.]

And you're. Because the only one that may die earlier is your gay brother.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's it. That's it. His blood pressure. Yeah. Well, no, no. Because of God. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Well, yeah, that's it. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's just.

[Chrissy D.]

You can't. Yeah. And I, by the way, I love you. I, you know, as you know, I.

[Giannis Pappas]

Want to date him.

[Chrissy D.]

I was gonna say I've maintained a relationship with your brother. Yes. And so. And so I shout him out. I love him, but. Yeah, that's the only one. But your brother, who, who's he's lifting in sin, living in sin. But your. The special needs brother is the one who will live the longest because he has the least amount of stress and he's just kind of having fun hanging out. He will outlive all of you.

[Giannis Pappas]

He will. He will. He's no stress. There's no stress, no. No ideas.

[Chrissy D.]

Outlive all of you. And it's what it is. And make no mistake, when you die, he's going to just put a little binky in that casket or something fun. Something like a little toy truck.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuz still, when you. At my dad's funeral when you walked up to the casket and the back flaps of your coat opened up and you. Your butt popped out.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's still one of the funniest things. It was a really nice moment for me in a sad time because he went up to say, you know, to everyone lines up just say goodbye. So he walked up to the casket and when he took a step onto the altar he had like, you know, he had like a filing spacement suit on.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

So.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

So the back flaps of his jacket opened up and he's got a wide big ass.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And it just pops out. What do you think?

[Chrissy D.]

But I have lost a little. But it's.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean you got a fat ass.

[Chrissy D.]

What do you think though?

[Giannis Pappas]

You're built like a catcher.

[Chrissy D.]

I built like a catcher.

[Giannis Pappas]

But you get the body of Jorge Posada.

[Chrissy D.]

But I think I'm in better shape now now than I was four years ago.

[Giannis Pappas]

You do my head. But the problem, the head get too skinny. Then you look like a lollipop. So you gotta maintain some weight.

[Chrissy D.]

Something.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

And then. And then another nice moment for us is at your wedding when I ripped a sweet juicy fart and made your brother. I made your special school brother laugh.

[Giannis Pappas]

Everyone was laughing because the photographer was taking way too long.

[Chrissy D.]

And your father was laughing.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, my father was there. He wasn't there in the pictures.

[Chrissy D.]

Your father was there during the pictures.

[Giannis Pappas]

Was he there?

[Chrissy D.]

Your pops was there.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh yeah. Everyone laughed. Yes, everyone laughed. It was great. It was great thing.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, it was good.

[Giannis Pappas]

It was another funny October surprise.

[Chrissy D.]

Let's do it.

[Giannis Pappas]

During the LBJ talking about gay guys talking about $3 bills. Another one that you guys.

[Chrissy D.]

Johnson. A three dollar bill. I didn't know that.

[Giannis Pappas]

We don't know.

[Chrissy D.]

We.

[Giannis Pappas]

We do know her. Herbert Hoover used to put on women's clothing and so does Oscar De La Hoya. And that's funny.

[Chrissy D.]

And that's very funny.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's Very funny. That Herbert Hoover was on the phone saying we got to get something on Martin Luther King. Go tap his phone. And he was doing it in fish nets and pumps.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes. What you said he was doing it Yanni style because Yanni used to throw in his mother's fish net stockings and jerk off. And it's slok. S. Yes. What it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

What are we about to say? I think you mean J. Edgar. What did I say? Herbert.

[Chrissy D.]

You said Herbert, not Herbert. Johnny Biden is back.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, same thing. I mean same thing. Old white guy from history. But yes, it was J. Edgar Hoover. He was a cross dresser. Yeah. Which is hilarious.

[Chrissy D.]

Well, because if you look at most of the founding fathers, they all kind of were cross dressers. They all threw on wigs and high heels and stockings. You all kind of look like Marisa.

[Giannis Pappas]

They did have. Yes.

[Chrissy D.]

I think. Look, look at a $1 bill. Yeah. Right now George Washington, they all wear powdered wigs and they wear tight stockings and high heel shoes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Y. Because how did it become fashion to wear another person's hair?

[Chrissy D.]

Because we gotta go back. I want to go back to start dressing. By the way, I've been calling east coast time. Thirteen colonies time. But now I say what time zone are you going to say? Thirteen colonies. I've. I've been on record saying this. I want to go back to the original 13. This whole idea of this westward expansion, this manifest destiny by James Madison, which we'll do an episode on him because he's a wild figure.

[Giannis Pappas]

The fifth president went to Madison High School too.

[Chrissy D.]

That's it. Yeah. So. So I think that I'm done. I don't want all these other states. I don't need them. I want to perform in them. Come check me out in Salt Lake City, Utah. But I do. But I do less and less have a need to go westward. I want to stay in the original 13. It's where I feel good.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuz I feel the same exact way.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Every time I go on a plane.

[Chrissy D.]

More than four hours, I don't want to do it.

[Giannis Pappas]

I want to turn around. Cuz and I've had enough. Cuz I've had enough of America.

[Chrissy D.]

And by the way, the last six months of the. The. The last six months of the First Reich of hyenas is cuz make no.

[Giannis Pappas]

Mistake, still a German kid.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. Cuz make no mistake, we're in the Second Reich. And this one might fail too. But when we come back big, it's going to be numero tres so. And that's when the bigwigs come out. So. But we kept speaking about it. Let's do some old episodes we kept speaking about and we just never followed through. But this time we have to to do it. We kept speaking about taking a day trip to Charleston. There's $99 flights, Debo JetBlue, squeak of the week. Debo can get us down there for 99 bucks. We go on a 6am flight. We get down there at 7:30. We spend the whole day in Charleston just prancing, perusing.

[Giannis Pappas]

We will fucking prance and stroll like you have no idea.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And then street tours galore. It's the only time I've ever seen you at peace.

[Chrissy D.]

At peace. I mean, remember when we were in the Francis Tavern museum and I ripped a nice juicy fork as well?

[Giannis Pappas]

I remember that.

[Chrissy D.]

Looking at a Civil War painting.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. And then the only time I saw you complet at peace.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Completely at peace.

[Chrissy D.]

Was in Munich, Germany.

[Giannis Pappas]

Was in Munich, Germany. We were sitting there. You were in peace, right. We had history.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. When we were in. When we were went to the actual site of the Hitler's beer hall push.

[Giannis Pappas]

We did a Nazi tour and then we went and we were sitting up on that hill, the old castle.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And we had. We had pints of beer and we had the French Alps and I was.

[Chrissy D.]

Getting naked pics from a girl in.

[Giannis Pappas]

Beach Alps in the backgrounds. And you were looking at me, a cousin. I think you were falling in love.

[Chrissy D.]

With me because I was. I was falling in love because make no mistake. And you said you're back where your ancestors are. Because you said my ancestors were shovelers in Germany. And you were probably correct. The moon though.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. No. Cuz you did not come from German aristocracy. German aristocracy did not go to Ridgewood and start driving buses and having a couple of fans. No.

[Chrissy D.]

You can't have a big fat ass like me.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

If you were Aristotle.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, you were a shoveler just like Jesse Scadura comes from a long line of fucking Italian shit shelters. I come from a long line of Greek shit shelves.

[Chrissy D.]

I would really be funny to go back 500 years or 600 years and go to like da Vinci's time and go to that little town and see da Vinci painting the Michelangelo or Mona Lisa, whatever he paint. Was it the Mona Lisa or Michelangelo?

[Giannis Pappas]

He know, he's. We got a painter.

[Chrissy D.]

What did da Vinci paint? Oh, the Sistine Chapel.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, he did not.

[Chrissy D.]

Sorry. He did not. Michelangelo did.

[Giannis Pappas]

This is why we're the history hiatus. We do history, but we often do it wrong. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Here's the thing. Fact check us. I would be really funny to go back 600 years and see Michelangelo.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Painting the Sistine Chapel. And then to just go in the next town over and just see one of Jesse's ancestors painting a fat. Just. Just painting this fat.

[Giannis Pappas]

Also, Michelangelo. Be nice to go back in history and just see him just. I think he was a bottom. He was a gay guy.

[Chrissy D.]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Him just getting banged out, but then also whipping himself with a belt because he was also a Christian, which probably made it a lot hotter.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Think about it. Sometimes when you think about the oppression of the church or whatever and how chaste they want you to be, it almost makes it better.

[Chrissy D.]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know, like the first time I got a hand job from a. A girl from Catholic school, I. It was just hotter because I could tell she was like, I, this is bad.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

So it's almost worth it. I think religion's good for that. Yes.

[Chrissy D.]

I do think, because there is. There is a little bit of. And it's just. I don't know why.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's better when it's naughty.

[Chrissy D.]

It's better when it's naughty. Just like you and I have discussed. I can't tell you why the pros protein is buried deep within the cell of an animal and you have to kill it to eat it. We don't know why. Also, I don't know why. Why sex is just better if it's a little naughty. I. I'm just. Listen, I'm just playing by the rules. I did not make them, but I do play by them.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, we play by them. And those rules a lot of times don't make sense.

[Chrissy D.]

They don't. And you're just gonna have to deal with it. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, look. I mean, just look. Look at hyenas. Like we said, they're an effective hunter, but they don't really have a pet plan. They cackle, but they're not laughing. Nobody knows why. The women are bigger. The women are stronger and they beat up the boys.

[Chrissy D.]

Yep. And then they have birth. The women give birth through a penis.

[Giannis Pappas]

They're trans.

[Chrissy D.]

They're trans. They eat the animal backwards. They eat the animal while it's still alive. They eat it like legs first. The only animal. They eat the bones.

[Giannis Pappas]

They pulverize and eat the bones.

[Chrissy D.]

They eat the bones and sometimes they stop the pot and then they just restart it for no reason.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's what they do.

[Chrissy D.]

That's what they do. So anyone looking for answers, you're in the Wrong pot, you're in the wrong pot.

[Giannis Pappas]

If you're looking for answers, there's no answers. There's just comedy. Yeah. At the end of the day, there's just comedy.

[Chrissy D.]

That's what it is. At the end of the day.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes. This is just. What is it? It's Trial of Errors. What's it called, Jess? A Lot of Bucks. Comedy of Errors.

[Chrissy D.]

What's the last book you read, Jesse?

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm reading two right now.

[Chrissy D.]

You're not two. Right now.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm reading Black Boy by Richard Wright. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

What's that one about?

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a memoir. Have you been texting with Sergio Chacone about his. About. Are you guys in a book club?

[Chrissy D.]

Sergio's reading a lot of Che Guevara.

[Giannis Pappas]

Is he? Oh, he's getting militarized.

[Chrissy D.]

Sergio's military already been militarized. Yeah, Sergio's militarized. Right?

[Giannis Pappas]

No, I'm taking. There's a. Yeah, Richard Wright is great.

[Chrissy D.]

He's amazing.

[Giannis Pappas]

There's a literature course on, on YouTube. A Yale literature course. So it's like if you were enrolled in Yale, okay, you could actually, like, go along week by week. And so I'm reading all. You're trying to get a Yale education. I'm getting a yellow education. Yeah, yeah. Well, these people. Because their enrollment is down. Well, the Jews cut off the money. This was 15 years ago, so it's safe. It's safe from all the.

[Chrissy D.]

You're on Yale tube.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

So, okay, so, so Black Boy by Richard, Right?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. And then I'm reading. It's on the Kindle, so I always forget the title, the Simple Sympathizer, which actually turned into a TV show. It's about the fall of Vietnam.

[Chrissy D.]

So you're reading two books right now?

[Giannis Pappas]

I listen to one, and I read another one every day. You read every day?

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, this kid, smart kid.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, he's just a smart kid. He's just a balanced kid. And he, he's just always like this.

[Chrissy D.]

Do you still read every day? No, no, because he had two babies.

[Giannis Pappas]

To take care of.

[Chrissy D.]

That's the thing. That's the thing. It's like I used to. I'm off the Internet.

[Giannis Pappas]

I, I, I want to be present with my family.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And the Internet is just addictive. And I'm off and I'm spending. It's better to be in the moment with my children.

[Chrissy D.]

Ye. Yesterday, my pops, Tony, when we went to the Yankee game, I asked him if he wanted any memorabilia, if you wanted to buy, like, A World Series hat or anything like that. Our pin. And he was like. No, he's like, I just want. He was like, what? I would love if we just, you know, weren't on our phones and we would just enjoy these two, three hours. He was like, I never thought I'd be able to go to a World Series game, and now I'm here with my son, so I just want to enjoy that.

[Giannis Pappas]

And it's better.

[Chrissy D.]

And it's better that way. And then you put it away. You put it away. And then you just. Literally the amount of connection that you have. I mean, me and my son. Dad. Were. We felt like we were watch. We watched every pitch of that game.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

And we didn't have really that great seats, but we just watched every pitch.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

And then I did look over in the sixing, and he was asleep.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Because just an older guy.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's an older guy, and that's what they do.

[Chrissy D.]

And he just. Then he woke up and then we was right back in it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, the point of life is human connection. And if you're on your phone, you're not going to connect. And the only way you can connect is be vulnerable. So be out there. Go be vulnerable. Take off your armor and be vulnerable. Tell someone you love them. Just. Just start.

[Chrissy D.]

Just do it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Don't be scared to get hurt. Just do it.

[Chrissy D.]

It also makes people irritable to be on their phone.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chrissy D.]

Like you. You get it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Your brain, it turns you into a gambler.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes. Yes. You're gambling. Like, you constantly want to look at it. Constantly want to look at. I just saw you take a peek at yours. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because I'm keeping our notes up.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

But I don't even know if we're going to get back to it.

[Chrissy D.]

No, we are. Well, let's get back to it. By the way, this is. This is the show. This is the way the show has always been, is we might get to the history topic or we might not. Just listen. Stay tuned.

[Giannis Pappas]

We always say it's either history heavy or hyena heavy.

[Chrissy D.]

And you never know. You never know.

[Giannis Pappas]

We don't know.

[Chrissy D.]

It's a coin flip. Like our sexuality.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's just a coin flip, like Kamala or Trump. You don't know what's going to. And right now it's neck and neck. Nobody knows what's going to happen.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Who do you got? Here's your heart. I know it's in your heart.

[Chrissy D.]

This is not a political statement. Because I'm. You actually don't know Who I got. You don't know who. I. Cuz I might write. I might write in somebody crazy. I. Jill Stein. Jill. Yeah, I do think that my algorithm is. Cuz that's all you could. That's really all I can go off is what the algorithms would pump it to me that it feels like Trump is up by a lot. That's what it feels like. That Donnie T. Is up by a lot. Right, Right. So I do think he is going to win. However, 2016. I remember all those polls saying that Hillary was up like 90% to 10 and then she lost. So I don't. I don't know what's going to happen until it happens. What I do predict, though, unfortunately. Unfortunately, what I do predict is, is that we're not going to know who the President is the night of the.

[Giannis Pappas]

Election because there'll be a civil war first.

[Chrissy D.]

That I think there's going to be another recount, and I think we're going to have to wait till January again. I really do believe that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's possible. You're watching this. It probably could have been announced by now. So whoever won, they're still American.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Everyone stay calm. The hyenas are back. Everything's good.

[Chrissy D.]

It's fine.

[Giannis Pappas]

We came back to save this country.

[Chrissy D.]

That's why we're here.

[Giannis Pappas]

That we're here to save this country and calm every. Everyone down and. And remind you we're all American.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

We have different opinions.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

And some people want to kill babies and some people don't. And that's just what it is.

[Chrissy D.]

Make no mistake. Here's who we are. Okay? Here's who we are. We're the Menendez sisters.

[Giannis Pappas]

We are the Menendez sisters.

[Chrissy D.]

So that's. That's what we want to be referred to as. We're the Menendez sisters. Okay? We blew our podcast head off and now we're out of jail.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. We're back and everything's fine. Everything's.

[Chrissy D.]

Everything's fine.

[Giannis Pappas]

Everything's okay. Everyone take a deep breath. Don't do box breathing. Do you do any box breathing? What is hold and then hold and then. Yeah, it'll calm you right down.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Box breathing, it's great.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. No, I do meditate, though. I do, because I got a sauna. You guys got a red light sauna? Yeah. They got. You got it a nice discounted price. I got a sauna. It fits right in my basement. I got a little sauna. You plug it in. 220 volts. You plug it in. And I got a Sauna, and I go ahead and I breathe in the sauna.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's very nice.

[Chrissy D.]

That's what I do.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's very nice.

[Chrissy D.]

I breathe in the sauna or I try to meditate at the gym. I try to take myself out of a gym trance. I try to get myself in trance and I just go to the gym. Because, make no mistake, I've been working out with Antony over here at Badass Academy, and he puts me through very difficult workouts. So I try to just put my body in another place because they're very difficult.

[Giannis Pappas]

And you can only really work out in place now because you got a bad Achilles heel.

[Chrissy D.]

I got a bad Achilles heel. But Antony works around it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right.

[Chrissy D.]

Anthony Esposito, star trainer of Badass Academy, who was our most recent, four years ago. Squeak of the week. Every week.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, he's.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, well, every week what we like to do is we would call.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's a short kid. He's a jack.

[Chrissy D.]

He's a jack kid.

[Giannis Pappas]

We would call, like, a lot of short kids.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes. We would call our friend Debo, who works for JetBlue, baggage handler for JetBlue, but does tell girls he's a pilot. And still does, by the way. He still does, by the way. If you go into O'Neal's Pub any Sunday during football week and you see a pilot that's under 5, 6, just know it's Debo. And just know that the truth is he lives with his mom and dad, so. But that's okay. They're very nice people. But we would call him in and we would call him every week.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's like Leonardo DiCaprio for catch me if He Can. But it doesn't work.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, he's not. He tells everybody he's a pilot, but it just doesn't work. He doesn't get on the plane.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes. So. So what we would do is we would call him and he would give us the squeak of the week. Someone who's five, someone who's five, seven, or under. And he would tell us. He would tell us news of a short guy. Whatever. Whatever short guys are in the news, you know what they did. So we will continue that tradition. We're going to try to get to that each week. But squeak of the week, we want to bring that back. Debo said that. He's told me. He said he's ready. He's ready now. He wants to meet. He wants to meet. He wants to meet a lady from the Historian fan base or guy we just don't know. He's also. Also coin flip. We don't know. But he said he wants to meet his partner and he wants that partner to be a Hyenas fan. And he'd prefer if they're 5:1 or under.

[Giannis Pappas]

I bet you there's been some relationships that have been formed from fans who have met through the history. Hyenas. 100 bets happen. If it has, let us know.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes. I mean, Lisa Johnson. Remember Lisa Johnson? Yeah, shout out Lisa Johnson. I mean, remember, she would. They had a whole. I mean, I mean, you know, Sabrina the hyena.

[Giannis Pappas]

How about. How about Dr. Harvey?

[Chrissy D.]

Dr. Harvey. Dr. From. From Rock. From Rockville, South Carolina.

[Giannis Pappas]

But what was the name? Dr. Dr. Harvey.

[Chrissy D.]

Was it Oswald Weinstein?

[Giannis Pappas]

No, I Wish Not Oswald.

[Chrissy D.]

Dr. Harvey.

[Giannis Pappas]

Harvey Spencer.

[Chrissy D.]

Dr. Harvey Spencer. Cracking open and cleaning your teeth.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cracking up a clean.

[Chrissy D.]

Because remember we used to have a small business sponsor where you could be a small business sponsor on Patreon, we would shout out your business for a thousand bucks.

[Giannis Pappas]

We were screwed in.

[Chrissy D.]

We will still do that. But make no mistake, we have to adjust for inflation.

[Giannis Pappas]

So now it's 10,000 ch.

[Chrissy D.]

Todd's back. And you gotta understand is that. Yes, this episode, the first one was on Patreon for a week and that was Yanni screwed in idea.

[Giannis Pappas]

Screwed it.

[Chrissy D.]

But make no mistake, we're just building back the infrastructure. Because make no mistake, when this thing comes back in full force, we're coming with a blitzkrieg.

[Giannis Pappas]

We're coming with a full blown britzkrieg. Britskrieg.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. Johnny Biden is back. Cause your Yanni word salad.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because we're. We're gonna fly it in like the.

[Chrissy D.]

Luftwaffe because I'm gonna start calling you Kamala Papa.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, sometimes the words just get caught in my mouth. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Also shout out Dr. Andrew Agos, who within five minutes. Who? Dr. Andrew Agos. And Dr. Luke, my friend are our team doctors. We do have. That's the beautiful part about being a part of this podcast is we do have team physicians.

[Giannis Pappas]

We do.

[Chrissy D.]

So we have two physicians.

[Giannis Pappas]

We have Dr. Drew.

[Chrissy D.]

We have. We have Dr. Drew. Yeah, we'll add him to the list. We have Dr. Andrew Agos, who will make no mistakes and pictures of people who's doing surgery around to the group chat. And we have Dr. Luke, who is the baby's godfather, one of my baby's godfathers. And so they are our medical team. And we have Dr. Andrew. Akos did send us memes within five minutes of mine and Yanni's face on Trump's face. After he got shot in the ear.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes, that was a funny one. And also the two girls with the American flags.

[Chrissy D.]

And he also did write one hyenas for Harris. And it's me and Yanis as pregnant white men. He's just a 10 out of 10.

[Giannis Pappas]

He is. 10 out of 10. He is. So the October surprise. Just to wrap it up real quick. Okay. And then we'll get to the Patreon names. Well, yeah, the funny one we got to cover is Linda B. Johnson's aide who got caught in a YMCA banging a dude.

[Chrissy D.]

Well, so tell us about that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, he got begged at a time where everyone was still a little homophobic. And then Barry Goldwater tried to use that saying, there's corruption.

[Chrissy D.]

Do you think he's rooting for Israel or Palestine?

[Giannis Pappas]

Who? Barry Goldwater.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

He would be going big time for Israel. Yeah, yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a funny name. Barry Goldwater.

[Giannis Pappas]

And even AOC would go, look, we want. Israel's got to end this war. But now that she's a mainstream Democrat, she'd say, and release the hostages. So whenever you say you're you, you. You're for the Palestinians and you don't want them to have plight, you have to always remember to say, also, we want to get these hostages home. At this point, I don't know if the hostages.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't know if they're there.

[Chrissy D.]

I don't know if they're there, but.

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't know if they're still there. It's been a while. Unfortunately. Sad.

[Chrissy D.]

It's. It is sad. And make no mistake, despite, you know, where I may or may not be politically.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

I want to bang out AOC bad.

[Giannis Pappas]

She is.

[Chrissy D.]

She is a smoke show.

[Giannis Pappas]

She's a smoke show.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, she really, really difficult. Sometimes I ask Jasmine to put on a pantsuit and go make believe she's sitting in Congress.

[Giannis Pappas]

Well, if you.

[Chrissy D.]

Because she's just hot. She reminds me of Jasmine.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Well, if you didn't know, there is a deep fake porn.

[Chrissy D.]

Well, I just know. I do know, because unfortunately, we might have to edit that one out. Yeah, that'll be on Patreon.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Well, anything cackled out, you'll [e-mail] that. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Throw cackles on that.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

So, yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay. So, yeah. So. So Barry Goldwater, was he blowing a guy in a bathroom in a ymca?

[Giannis Pappas]

It was the aid. It was the aid of Linda B. Johnson's. Who's blowing a guy and maybe get Banged out. It might have been.

[Chrissy D.]

It happens.

[Giannis Pappas]

It might have been happened. And so back then, Barry Goldwater tried to use that and say, look at the administration. They're all gay. Right? Like, they're just all gay. They're all bad.

[Chrissy D.]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

And it did hurt Lyndon a little bit. But ultimately he. He was able to win. Okay, so that was the October.

[Chrissy D.]

He was able to win and then effectively kill jfk.

[Giannis Pappas]

He was effectively able to win and kill jfk.

[Chrissy D.]

Is that going to come out in our lifetime? That if.

[Giannis Pappas]

I think it was Linda Johnson that had him got.

[Chrissy D.]

If Trump wins, Because he did allude to this on Rogan. He said that if he wins, he will release the JFK stuff.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I don't buy it.

[Chrissy D.]

You don't think he can?

[Giannis Pappas]

No, because I just don't think he can. I don't think he looked at it the first time. I think Trump just. Just says stuff, right? Like, there's a lot of things. There's a lot of things they saw. It's interesting things. There's things I don't know. I spoke to some people, you know.

[Chrissy D.]

You asked me, who are you voting for and who do you think's going to win? What is your algorithm telling you?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, I don't know this one. I don't know. I don't know. Here's the funny thing. You're going, Whoa. Was Tony Hinchcliffe speech at Madison Square Garden in the final rally, calling Puerto Ricans island the garbage out of context, was that going to be enough to galvanize maybe 500,000 Puerto Ricans in Pennsylvania to sway a very tight election in a swing state? And this election could very well come down to Pennsylvania.

[Chrissy D.]

Maybe.

[Giannis Pappas]

But then Biden came out because he probably hates that. He got. He got defrocked by the Obamas and by Nancy Pelosi and. And he.

[Chrissy D.]

What did he say exactly?

[Giannis Pappas]

He just, he called, he did the old Hillary and he said that Trump supporters are garbage. Something like that. What was the exact quote? Something like that. So it was. That's the mistake that Hillary did when she called them. Deplorables.

[Chrissy D.]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

And so you don't know now, is it going to even out? I don't know. But Tony Hinchcliffe could be the October surprise. Who knows? Comey was a big October surprise for Hillary. And that actually hurt her, right? It hurt her because she was up in the polls. And then the FBI started investigating those emails and she went down. And then they tried to get Trump by saying he grabbed women by the pussy and your mother. And in Law said that's fine.

[Chrissy D.]

She said, she said that's why you think. Exact quote, she says, that's. And you think that I'm not going to vote for him because he grabs a pussy. That's what a man does. I'm not going to vote for a woman. So she just going to vote for a woman.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

And, yeah. And the truth is. And then the Democrats said that, you know, that the Trump rally at MSG was a bunch of Nazis and that's, that's offensive to us.

[Giannis Pappas]

So they, everyone always tries to pull October surprises. You go back to Martin Van Buren. He's. He's accusing the Whig Party, which was Harrison at the time they were running against each other, and he accused Harrison of trying to import voters from Pennsylvania.

[Chrissy D.]

James Harrison was, he was assassinated, I think. Right. Didn't get poisoned.

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't remember.

[Chrissy D.]

Well, I don't talk about James Harrison or Marvin Harrison, the NFL player.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm talking about Marvin Harrison, who at one time wasn't president.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, yeah, I know. I thought it was James Harrison.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, it was Marvin Harrison and he played for the Colts.

[Chrissy D.]

Marvin Harrison. Yes, he did.

[Giannis Pappas]

He did play for the.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes. And then his son, his son is in the NFL now. Yes. So do you. Okay, so. So you're saying that. I mean, it feels like almost every election that's close, there's some October surprise. My question to you is, do you think that it happens naturally because humans being humans, or it is the absolute corrupt American political machine making it happen? They hold things, things in until October. They released the, they really release everything they got in October.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's what they do. I mean, if you look at. And it, you know, October loosely. Right. So it can happen in September. It can happen. But a close election, look what they did to rfk. No doubt. The Democratic machine came out and they were like, let's get these stories on them.

[Chrissy D.]

And yeah, boom.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because they didn't want him to split the vote. But then it could have backfired because then he went on the choose choo choo train.

[Chrissy D.]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

So now maybe the votes that were going to him are going to go to Trump. They wanted him out, so they took him down with the bear cub story, which is a wild story. Yeah, the, the shark head that we tied to the roof and he's banging out a reporter.

[Chrissy D.]

It's what it is, what it happens. But we all know that. And it seems like his wife doesn't care because it probably was part of the agreement. When you marry Kennedy, it's slow. Okay, Anthony's, Jack.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's jacked. And he's definitely on Winstrell and it's just what happened.

[Chrissy D.]

And he was never going to win because make no mistake, even though he's jacked and I do like his policies and what he stands for, the Voice, I can't get past it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. And a lot of times they wait till October. You want to know why? Because a lot of times the story is bullshit. It's not true. But they know if they release it in October, by the time people find out it's not bullshit, the election's done.

[Chrissy D.]

Makes sense. The election's done. So you think possibly, I mean, we, you know, it's, it's the only one.

[Giannis Pappas]

That seems to have worked is Comey. Because the rest of them were. Seems to be attempts that just didn't work. They may have made the elections a little closer, but make no mistake, Teddy Roosevelt was shot during a speech.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

So a lot of times you go look at all these themes now, like I said, election fraud, then you had the Chinese immigrants, then Trump got assassinated. Guess what? Teddy Roosevelt was shot and then gave the fucking speech for 80 minutes. Cuz that's when men were men and they smoked Marlboros and they didn't vote Democrat.

[Chrissy D.]

That's what it is, cuz. And I have a soft spot in my heart for Teddy Roosevelt. One, he has one of my favorite quotes where he says, comparison is the thief of joy. I like that one. And number two, I owe my entire life and my entire family and one of the things I am so happy to be on, on this planet and alive for, I owe to Teddy Roosevelt. Because Teddy Roosevelt made the island of Puerto Rico a US territory. It was him. It was after the Spanish American War, which he fought as one of the Rough Riders, which I did. I do not use that brand because I have two babies. He used. He was one of the Rough Riders. And when they won that war, he said when he became president, he made Puerto Rico part of US territories. And I thanked Teddy Roosevelt very much for giving me my Puerto Rican family.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's right.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, I do love Puerto Ricans.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean, Puerto Rico, it's like, it is a territory, but it's not a state. They can't vote. I don't understand what's going on.

[Chrissy D.]

And they just have no fumes. And that's the other thing. And they're absolutely gorgeous people.

[Giannis Pappas]

Gorgeous people. And they definitely have no fumes.

[Chrissy D.]

No fumes at all. And they're beautiful. And I tried for a moment there to to get into white girls and I can't do it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Can't do it. No, I can't do it.

[Chrissy D.]

I want Latinas all the time.

[Giannis Pappas]

I love Puerto Rican girls into that big time time as well.

[Chrissy D.]

Black girls. What does he like?

[Giannis Pappas]

He likes that too, but he's definitely into Puerto Ricans.

[Chrissy D.]

You like Puerto. Are you a single man right now?

[Giannis Pappas]

No, no, no. Long time.

[Chrissy D.]

Long time Puerto Rican girl. No.

[Giannis Pappas]

Give me a Dominican, though, because you like a mix.

[Chrissy D.]

What is the girlfriend white?

[Giannis Pappas]

She's Italian.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, right. So it's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Yeah. So that's just what happened to Teddy Roosevelt. That was the October surprise for him, is he got a bullet.

[Chrissy D.]

He did get a bullet.

[Giannis Pappas]

Sometimes it's a bullet. And you know what's funny?

[Chrissy D.]

The 50.

[Giannis Pappas]

The 50 page speech that he ended up reading was what blocked the bullet.

[Chrissy D.]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

So he got shot right there. And I mean, he. He even said when he got. He said it takes more than one bullet to kill a bulbous. So when everyone remembers this from Trump, the original one was he stood up while he was shot.

[Chrissy D.]

Yep.

[Giannis Pappas]

And because the bullet was lodged at his rib.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And he continued to give an 80 minute speech.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, they don't make men like that. They used. They don't make men like Paul Newman. No. Paul Newman was an actor.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Which means he was basically a girl.

[Chrissy D.]

That's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Teddy Roosevelt. He also said, right, Talk softly and carry a big stick.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, that's what it is. And make no mistake, he did do that speech in Milwaukee. So if you scan that crowd, you will see Jeffrey Dahmer eating black men's penises in the background.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's what you will see. That is.

[Chrissy D.]

And then, because he was a wild kid, too, Jeffrey Dahmer. Would you have to do a serial killer episode? Because, I mean, that man was wild.

[Giannis Pappas]

He was wild. He had some. He had a. He had a certain taste in cuisine that was a little different.

[Chrissy D.]

Little different.

[Giannis Pappas]

Not only did he like to eat people, he liked to eat black kids.

[Chrissy D.]

Because I got to be honest, you too. And we'll discuss this maybe on a Patreon episode, but I am still afraid of the dark. And I still sleep with the lights on. And I watched the Night Stalker Richard Ramirez documentary on Netflix. And I'm very afraid.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that was a mistake.

[Chrissy D.]

That was the scare. Have you ever seen that one?

[Giannis Pappas]

No.

[Chrissy D.]

That was the scariest Netflix documentary I've ever seen.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because of him. He's so scary.

[Chrissy D.]

He is. Psych. He's the only one where one Person escaped. So when I looked, they said his breath smelled horrible. And they said when you looked him in the eyes, you genuinely felt like you were looking at. At Satan. And then they slowly panned up to a picture of him on that queue, and they played this music. And it literally. I mean, it made my skin crawl. I got really, really nervous, and I grabbed the black and white.

[Giannis Pappas]

And even the way he ended it was like. It was almost like a mythical evil story. Like the way the. Finally, the townspeople got him on the street and they just all started beating him. You know, they finally caught him, like, stomped out. They just all were, like, stomping him.

[Chrissy D.]

It's terrible.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, he's a terrifying guy. Good thing he wasn't into killing. Killing dudes.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, that's a good thing.

[Giannis Pappas]

Good thing. You can't really be a serial killer anymore. It's just too much. It's too easy to get caught.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, it's. You can't really do anything. You can't be serial killer. Can't have a second family.

[Giannis Pappas]

You can't. Caught. You really will get caught. Yeah, you can't. You can't really do anything.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, you're just gonna get caught.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're gonna get caught. And if you're in a political party and they're gonna find it out, the operatives will find out what you did, they'll find your emails, they'll find the laptop, and they'll try to give you a big old October surprise, which is what happens when you hook up with a lady and you reach down and you find out that she's got a glue gun.

[Chrissy D.]

It's what it is. What? H. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But. But not Barry Goldwater. He just. He knew that the guy had a glue gun and he just went down there anyway.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, it wasn't Barry Glow water. It was. It was LBJ. LBJ was running against Barry Goldwater, and it was LBJ's top aid who was a homosexual.

[Chrissy D.]

He was a homosexual.

[Giannis Pappas]

You couldn't be a homosexual.

[Chrissy D.]

No, you couldn't be a homosexual. But now it was Jenkins.

[Giannis Pappas]

Walter Jenkins.

[Chrissy D.]

I feel like you can again. And I feel like, why doesn't anyone. Why isn't there more people saying Pete likes it in the Buddha jig?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chrissy D.]

Why is that? Why is that not. Why are people not going wild with that one?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, he looks into the Buddha.

[Chrissy D.]

He likes to do the Buddha check. And I can't believe that I just thought of that.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a great one.

[Chrissy D.]

And then that should be someone's Patreon.

[Giannis Pappas]

That should Be a button when he runs for president.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. Pete likes it in the Buddha. Check if he, if, if. If he wants to run in four years, I. I would Eminem that. And I would, by the way, speaking of Eminem, I mean, he went wild for Kamala, dude.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's going well for Kamala. Yeah. Yeah. Bad buddies go wild for Kamala.

[Chrissy D.]

You think that people who do that and go really crazy, like above and beyond for it, really believe in democracy and they think that they're saving this country or they were at Diddy parties and they don't want it to get leaked. Well, what is the honest truth? I'm being serious. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

The honest truth is I actually, for this episode, while I was researching, I went, wow, I thought things were different now. I thought things have gotten extreme because that's all you hear. And the Internet has made people little crazy. But when you look at history, you go, this is just shit that keeps happening. It's happened before. Like I said, well, what was it, the other one? Was it Garfield with the Chinese immigrants? You're going like, someone forged a letter. They actually later got indicted and arrested for it, but they forged a letter claiming it was Garfield wrote it saying that Garfield loved Chinese immigrants and that they were. He wanted. He said that it's okay for employers to pay them whatever they want. So he's basically saying that Garfield supported illegal labor.

[Chrissy D.]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

And you're going like, this was happening back then. Now it's the Mexicans and going, oh, they're importing all these Mexicans to vote and. And to work undocumented. Back then, the undocumented workers were the Chinese. Somebody tried to October surprise Garfield by going, he likes the Chinese. And here's the thing. Nobody likes the Chinese. So we knew it was a lie.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, it's what it is. Eastern way.

[Giannis Pappas]

Shaqee bite in the future way.

[Chrissy D.]

Shoot, she in.

[Giannis Pappas]

But. But what I'm saying is it just repeats. It just repeats. Election fraud. Same thing. Trump claimed it and then. And then Van Buren was claiming it against Harrison.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And it just. It's the same themes and the same dirty politics. Andrew Jackson, they said, oh, he had a daughter out of wedlock. His wife's a whore. He's a whore, He's a bastard. They were trying all the dirty same shit. We're just fucking American. And we play dirty.

[Chrissy D.]

We play dirty. We're a puritanical society. But I don't even know if it's American. I think it's just being a human being. I think that this was probably happening 3,000 years ago, too. It just was always happening from the beginning because the. We are designed, our brain, our baseline setting for the human brain, the human form brain that we are now the Homo sapien, is just designed for war.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's.

[Chrissy D.]

That's what it's designed for. And even when we are at peace, our baseline setting will go to war. People think right now that they're in some kind of war with who you're going to vote for, Kamala or Trump? And you're voting for war, not war. It's like you're not. You're in the safe confines of the original 13 colonies and you're fine. There is no war happening. If you were living in Gaza, that's a different story.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right?

[Chrissy D.]

But you're not. You're living safely here, but yet your brain is designed for war. So what I'm here to tell you is that that might be a factory setting that you can't get around, but knowledge is power. And if you know your thoughts, then you can control them. And you. And you will not make them real. And you can sit with them and you can breathe and you can box breathe, as Giannis does. You can sit in the sauna and breathe and try not to jerk off two documentaries on Netflix when the kids are home and do what I do. But just know that we're designed for war. And that if you just take a step back and say you're probably getting galvanized on social media, things probably aren't affecting you the way they are. You really, you're. And here's. And here's the truth.

[Giannis Pappas]

Crystal clear. Oh, crystal clear.

[Chrissy D.]

If you want to just be honest with yourselves and others. If you want to just be honest with yourself and just know this. Okay, this is not attack, because I've done it too. I'm sure we've all down in this room. If you want to be honest, you making whatever political post is probably not about the country, the candidacy and state of America. You know who it's about?

[Giannis Pappas]

You.

[Chrissy D.]

You want the likes, you want the reposts, you want the engagement. It makes you feel good. It gets your endorphins going through the roof. But the truth is you probably really don't care about the issue as much as you think you do. You care about getting the message out for you.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Because if you really just cared about the actual issue, then you would just. Silence. Vote for whomever you think is going to give you those issues that you want and stand for. You would just vote for that candidate. But the truth Is. It's about you. You like the way it feels. And if you just admit it, if you just admit it, you would not only set all of us free, you'd set yourself free.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay. And you know what? You're absolutely right.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I think the Internet has made us so crazy. I was guilty of that. I fully realized. I went, the Internet is just making everyone crazy. And I'm out of here. I'm out of here. I'm just. It's just it, it. It's rearranging people's brain chemistry and making everyone want attention instead of connection.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And you need to get connection. And that's why when you listen to the hyenas, you feel connected to us. Because we love you and you love us because we're all American. We got two oceans on either side. One is called the Pacific, one is called the Atlantic. And it's got one purpose. Two oceans, one purpose. Purpose.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Keep us safe. From who?

[Chrissy D.]

The Chinese.

[Giannis Pappas]

And it. But.

[Chrissy D.]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. The only.

[Giannis Pappas]

From everybody. Yeah, from everybody.

[Chrissy D.]

Cuz if you. Here's the thing. For people who try to look me in the eye and tell me Jesus Christ wasn't an American, all I point to is the geography of the United States.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's right.

[Chrissy D.]

We are surrounded, the only country we are surrounded by, by two bodies of water to the right and left. To the north, we're gay. A gay country. And to the south, a country that could be a problem, but they're not strong enough to attack us. So we are safe and secure.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chrissy D.]

So name me one other country that Jesus blessed us. Jesus Christ blessed us. And he is in fact, an American hero. And I know what he's doing at tomorrow's election. And he has kept. Kept us safe. So if you don't realize that, then just pull out a map, go on your phone and pull out a map or Google Map of the United States and you tell me who Jesus is favoring.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's right. I mean, it would be nice if the flint had clean water and, you know, some of the infrastructure of America didn't look like a third world country. And all the cities in Asia didn't look a lot better than ours. And Rochester wasn't a like, that's what it is. And Albany and Poughkeepsie and all these places where, you know at one point, I will take you up to a hill too, to put you down.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, yeah. Make no mistake. Because he just doesn't. There's only two oceans. To me, it's the Atlantic and the Pacific. Nobody cares about the Arctic Ocean. And I'm not. I don't give a fuck about the Kamala Ocean.

[Giannis Pappas]

How about the Mediterranean is pretty nice.

[Chrissy D.]

That is nice.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a nice one. That's a nice neutral, nice ocean.

[Chrissy D.]

What I'm going to do is I'm just going to say that the Mediterranean is a part of the Atlantic.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes. But what you're trying to say is yes, we're. It's America here you can drive from state to state. You don't got to worry about a country next door that doesn't speak the same language as you invading. You like what's going on in Ukraine and Russia or anything like that?

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

We don't have any other contiguous countries besides the gay one up top and a non threat from the bottom.

[Chrissy D.]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

And everybody else is behind water. Smith, you are safe. Yeah. Because Smithtown water.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Has your back. Because we make the best water.

[Chrissy D.]

Make no mistake. United States shall not perish. Yes, Abraham Lincoln shall not perish. Abraham Lincoln who? There's a lot of rumors now that he was a gay president. So he might have also liked to the buttigieg. And it's just what it is. He would still get my vote because make no mistake, your sexuality does not. Does not sway me. I want. I will. I will not. I will only vote for you on if I agree with your policy. And the bottom line is, is I don't know either one of their policies. So I'm just going to vote for Giannis. Hey, everybody. Christy comedy.com I got brand new material. I put out new material every [e-mail] Christy Comedy. I call it this week's material. Put it out. It's a mix of my jokes I'm working on for the week and a little bit of crowd work, but you could catch me. November 15th, 16th, Wise Guys Comedy Club, Salt Lake City, Utah. Those shows are almost sold out, so get the tickies. November 22nd, 23rd, Madison, Wisconsin, comedy on state. Also almost sold out, so get those ticky wikis. And then December 13th and 14th, Phoenix, Arizona, stand up live, one of the best clubs in the country. And December 28th to the 31st, bringing in the new year in Miami, the Miami Improv. And then my special comes out on Hulu. February 21st, they have 12 comics. Every month a new comic has got a special coming out on Hulu. They gave me Black History Month, so I appreciate that.

[Giannis Pappas]

What's up, everybody? Giannis, you could come see me live in St. Louis. November 14th and 15th and 16th, you could see me in Portland, Maine, November 22nd, 23rd, Fort Wayne, Fort Worth, Texas, November 29th, Dallas, November 30th. Then Milwaukee, December 6th, 7th. And then Bridgeport, Connecticut, December 13th and 14th. And then Austin, Texas. I'll be shooting my special at the Comedy Mothership December 20th and 21st, 22nd, Rochester, Chicago, Tempe. Yeah, and it's just Springfield, Missouri. Just go to my website. Giannis Pappas, comedy.compatreon.com History hyenas we're back. We're back.

[Chrissy D.]

All right, guys, welcome to the end of the episode. This is what we do. If you go to patreon.com history hyenas if you make a funny name or any name at all, we read them out loud. Giannis, we will pick who. We will pick the funniest names and we'll put them on the list. Now, now, if Giannis says that that's a chicken finger, that means that was a really good, simple one. But it did not necessarily make the list. If we say it's a Drexler, we are referring to Clyde Drexler, who was one of the great NBA players that unfortunately did play in the era of Michael Jordan. So he never got the shine he deserves because the, you know, it was just so strong. But then if we say on the list and you've made the list and then at the end of the reading aloud of the names, we will pick our winner, our ppw, our pseudo penis of the week, and you will just be crowned the ppw. And we may or may not send you something.

[Giannis Pappas]

We'll send you a free T shirt.

[Chrissy D.]

Probably, probably at some point, maybe we will.

[Giannis Pappas]

But and if you are just here for the content regular name, those are the straight to the backs.

[Chrissy D.]

We'll stay straight to the back. Now, we do for these first couple of episodes, we do have so many members that have signed up, we're going to try to get to you all. But if you are straight to the back, we might, may or may not read your name. If you want a higher chance of getting your name read aloud, then you got to make a funny name. Ok, so here we are. Here are the newest members of the matriarchy who went to patreon.com historynas and signed up Brandon Allen.

[Giannis Pappas]

Straight to the back.

[Chrissy D.]

Christine.

[Giannis Pappas]

These are all assumed to be straight to the back.

[Chrissy D.]

Pingu's Lost Negligent Discharge.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a Drexler.

[Chrissy D.]

That's a Drexler.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wow.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay. I thought it was good on the list.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a Drexler.

[Chrissy D.]

It's close. George John Bankston, Abigail Smith, Sebastian Reese. Then we have My dick may be small, My heart is big cuz he. Jordan Caron, Chase Leopard. Remember he. He's been around a while. Then we got Richard Hess. Then we got cherry pinstripes made me shoot glue twice.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a good one. It's a good one.

[Chrissy D.]

Not on the list.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, but it's good, though. It's a Drexler. It's a dress.

[Chrissy D.]

Then we got this one. I don't know if it's straight to the back or it's a fun one. We have sss. So I don't know. We can't support that here. We can't support some of that. We can't support.

[Giannis Pappas]

So we can't kid support. That one's you got to push straight to the back quickly. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Then we got Associate professor groomer. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chicken figure.

[Chrissy D.]

Then we got I hate the feel of rubber now my glue gun leaks. Menendez.

[Giannis Pappas]

Roll out the catapult.

[Chrissy D.]

On to the list. Sean K. Got a polish. Honest John. My inward, please. Mark. We got the nword. Which we don't support.

[Giannis Pappas]

Don't support. Straight to that structure quickly.

[Chrissy D.]

Then we got cash now. Cash now. Funding group. Then we have Aaron. Then we have just a skin flute toot with a boot. And my poop shoot.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's, remember, the throwback to all the skin flute ones. And we said there's just too many skin flutes. So I'll give you a nostalgic chicken finger. Yes, but with the skin flutes, I mean, we got too many skin.

[Chrissy D.]

So many skin flights. Then we Got Alexis Sanchez, Neo92 Ricardi, Steve Becker Hales, Dino Panopoluis, Brian Mariano. Then we got cuzzies on their own when broke without going woke. Is that a list?

[Giannis Pappas]

That's not a list.

[Chrissy D.]

That's a list. Then we got Caitlyn Parliament, Spencer Dietz. Then we got Kamala Harris's pseudo peanuts to ch.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chicken finger. It's a chicken finger. I think. I think I'm putting it on the list.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay, we got a list. Okay, you made it. Then we got John Smith, Michael Russo. Then we got Joey Karate with a decent piece for an Eastern Hemi.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's gotta go on the list.

[Chrissy D.]

On the list. Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

There's gonna be too many excited and they're back.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. Then we got Fat tube Sock Mike.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a chicken figure.

[Chrissy D.]

That or Drexler.

[Giannis Pappas]

Actually, it's a Drexler. You're right. It's a Drexler. It's a Drexler. Wilman which means if it wasn't for the other ones, you'd be on the list.

[Chrissy D.]

Exactly. Wilma Dick Fit. We got Oscar, Christopher Hill, Eduardo Larari. Then we got Stiff Neck, Happy, Goofy.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a chicken figure.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay, James Nelson. Then this one I'm going to read. But we can't do it. We can't take shots. But I am just going to read it in the. It might have to get cackled. It's what it is. So we might have to cackle over that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay, we got to just usher that one to the back.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, usher back Kev Cannon, Adam Tate, Walker M. Joel Francis, Chrissy D's pinstripe. Two piece Toot. Then we got Rip, Dr. Sancho. Then we got Chrissy D. Chrissy D. Oh, oh, Chrissy D. Dot, dot. Don't this up again because I can't take another heartbreak.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chicken figure.

[Chrissy D.]

Chicken Australia Priest, Stephen L. This one I cannot read because you're disparaging my family. But I cannot read that. And I can we calculate. Somebody wrote.

[Giannis Pappas]

You have to remember to calculate.

[Chrissy D.]

Remember to calculus, please. Can't do it, unfortunately. Okay, usher that one quickly to the back.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's when you have security come out. Yeah, security comes out and ushers him straight to the back.

[Chrissy D.]

So we do have security. Guard gods were getting them back. Ben Hartman. Mitchell Eller. Michael Bowman. Tony B. Trapped in Tim Dillon's rape. Tony B. Trapped in Tim Dillon's rape dungeon. And there was a victim of a bad read. And it's still going on.

[Giannis Pappas]

Still went on the list. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay, so we got Norm Gillen. Then we have Hooded glue gun. Sardine fumes. Oh, it's a Drexler Dragstar Harry Fraudulent chicken finger. Okay. Sabrina B. Bobby Police. Gleezy. I used to shoot heroin. Now I shoot rope chicken. Shane Stavrone. Jin Sung. Hannah Davis. Elijah White Kid. You know, I mean name. I think my mother has a thing for the Leroy. It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Not only did he throw back the N mean he remembered. It's nostalgic. It's going on the list.

[Chrissy D.]

Going on the list for that. For nostalgia. Then we got Whale Come Matt Longshore Coffee. Dylan Heist.

[Giannis Pappas]

Whale Short coffee.

[Chrissy D.]

You like lunch?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's good.

[Chrissy D.]

Then we got I buy real estate, but only if the neighborhood is white. Unfortunately, we don't.

[Giannis Pappas]

We have to usher that with security.

[Chrissy D.]

That's security. So what we'll do names like that.

[Giannis Pappas]

We'll say security, security, security, security to the back.

[Chrissy D.]

San Denisol. Then we have. Then we have just miss Giganski. Just miss Just somebody's mother.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're a chicken figure.

[Chrissy D.]

Tukey. Then we have Vienna Russo. Joshua Ferrara. And then we have the free line. Freelance Jew.

[Giannis Pappas]

The freelance Jew is the chicken finger. Okay.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay. So here we go. Paul Rollinger. Ryan Sweeney. Steven Roberts. Then we have Let this cute toot with the boot inside Hyuna glutes. Inside Hyena glutes. Damn it.

[Giannis Pappas]

A victim every. I'll give him a chicken finger.

[Chrissy D.]

It was good. I'm sorry about that. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Drexler.

[Chrissy D.]

If you're ever a victim of a bad read, then just kind of dig down deeper, make another name, and you'll have a chance to get on the list a second time.

[Giannis Pappas]

That was a Drexler. I'm. Now I remember the chicken finger fingers for the simple one. So that's a Drexler.

[Chrissy D.]

Got it.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a good one.

[Chrissy D.]

McColman, Jake. Pete. Araballo. Nate. Then we have Give character piece a chance.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a chicken.

[Chrissy D.]

Chicken figure.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Ashkan Azaran. Kevin. Barry lemon sucker. 1945.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's security.

[Chrissy D.]

That's security. We don't. Yeah, security. Then we have Janine Hamad. Oh, she looks cute. Janine Hamad. Then we have Dad's a Muzzy. Don't with me. Cozy Wuzzy.

[Giannis Pappas]

That is a Drexler. It's a good one, though.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay, then we have Winston Latan. Then we have Jesse Pos Necker. So I don't know. Okay. The Remy S. Blake. Then we have homeless pimps, Wooden clogs.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chicken finger.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay. Then we have Dan Potato Monkey with a Leroy piece. McDonald Citrix.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, it's going on the list.

[Chrissy D.]

List. Wow. Then we have Tech Reefer. Taki the Dum Dum. Mike Gemma. Then we have Dougie. I'll slap a toot. Emhoff.

[Giannis Pappas]

Security.

[Chrissy D.]

Then we have Chrissy's crusty Belly Button Baby. And they spelled it B A. B, I.

[Giannis Pappas]

B, A B I.

[Chrissy D.]

So they're saying that they're the cum that's resting in my belly button.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right.

[Chrissy D.]

That's the Drax funny. It's great. Well thought out. Michael Ruiz. Todd. Then we have Cindy Butkus. Ashley Scott. Robbie Fart Hammer.

[Giannis Pappas]

Fart Hammer's a chick. That's the definition of chicken figure.

[Chrissy D.]

Then we have the Wasted Hobo Whale.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chicken figure.

[Chrissy D.]

J Kawa. Claudy T. Souls. Smoothie Brain.

[Giannis Pappas]

Smoothie Brain. Chicken finger.

[Chrissy D.]

Gary Dickerhoof. Will Kozak. Then we have Crisscross to Stefan Toes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wow. That's a good one for originality. Yeah, that's got to go on the list for originality.

[Chrissy D.]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Then we have Blizzy.

[Giannis Pappas]

You always got problem with your feet.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, you have a problem with the feet. Then we have Blizzy. Gave me Ed. Babe, just suck it a little. Okay. Then we have Lemon.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a drexer.

[Chrissy D.]

Lemon Luccheese. And then we have a security one that we have to cackle out. I will read it a lot louder for the room. But we. Again, we don't condone this. Somebody just wrote.

[Giannis Pappas]

Security.

[Chrissy D.]

Security. So we can leave that on the Patreon. But we have to cackle that for the YouTube.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, you got to cackle it. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay. Then we have. Cuz I'm glad the show is back and Yanni wasn't recast as a black.

[Giannis Pappas]

List. I mean, it's good rhyme, good rhymes, keep funny.

[Chrissy D.]

Patrick Hag, Tommy Z. Okay. Then we have Kristen McGee, Marcus Barmhire, Steven Hanks, Anthony Bob. Anthony Denton. Visual 2024 needs a situation. Jaden Goodfellow. Drew Smith cannot disparage my family. So that's at.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's security.

[Chrissy D.]

That. So then we have Sassy Little fart.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chicken finger. Sassy little fart's a good chicken finger. Does it look like a sassy little fart?

[Chrissy D.]

Then we have Tua Tunga Am. Hola.

[Giannis Pappas]

You gotta throw it on the list.

[Chrissy D.]

On the list? Yeah. Then we have the Boys are Back in Town. Playton Kiss Harry, Junk riley, Kenny Sinclair. Hot and Houthi 212 Sam Ryan. Poet Fumar Atov cocktail.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, what am I supposed to do? Yeah, you got to get the catapult out and put them on the list.

[Chrissy D.]

Put them on the list. Cody Super Duper. Steven Valdario, Father Bill's holy water, which I think we've had before.

[Giannis Pappas]

We. We've had a lot of Father Bills, but so.

[Chrissy D.]

So some of those Father Bill. So here's the thing, too, with Father Bill, it's kind of like a joke about Asians are bad drivers. You can do it, but you have to come with something that's so beyond original that it's. It's really going to be tough. So we encourage Father Bill. But you really got to think, were you there when they crucified my lord? Okay. Large Rojo. Kevin Loonsberry. Tim. Dude, sorry. You caught me up on that. Can't we. We security.

[Giannis Pappas]

You would be on the list if security didn't intervene.

[Chrissy D.]

So sometimes what happens there is. I'm reading it and I don't realize it's security. It needs to be cackled until I'm through the read. And that's actually a good one.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a really good one. It was about to get catapulted until, you know, what happened. Homeland Security came in. I got rid of it.

[Chrissy D.]

So we got Ian King, Matt De Niro, Chris Diddy, and Yanni Bottoms.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's going on the list. It's a chicken figure. That's going on the list. I apologize. What am I supposed to do on the list?

[Chrissy D.]

Here we go. Leonardi Fella, Katadi Fotani, I don't know, Andres Aguilar. Then we got Buffalo bill, the $3 bill who cracked open Father Bill.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's what I'm talking about. So if you're going to come, you got to come like that. It's gone on the list. What am I supposed to do here? We're going to have a lot. We're gonna have a lot.

[Chrissy D.]

Hazel61, Benji. Then we have Waltz is a toot who tickled my shoot. And Kamala Harris has Fumare Drexler. Okay. Drexler.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Marcus Esamila, Patrick, Philip Gautier, Father Waltz, Eric Shamblazer, Brendan Wils, Steve Dave, Tyler Melink. HH woke up the boys. I'm hard. Chicken figure, Paulie. Back shots.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a good chicken figure.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay. Alex Panagua. Zayn Tibbets. Potato Monkey from Pittsburgh looking to shoot his glue gun.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chicken finger.

[Chrissy D.]

Garrett Bitterling, Jose Aguilela, G. Muns. Cisco Kid, Tanner, Aaron. Dr. Bathroom, Maryland.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chicken finger.

[Chrissy D.]

William Schweizel. Again, I'm going to read this one out loud, but this is disparaging the family, so we don't encourage this, but this one is not good.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's security.

[Chrissy D.]

Security?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. You gotta tackle it.

[Chrissy D.]

Yep. Then we got Chrissy D. Left the HHP to go be PC on tv, but ran back to Yani P to smell the Mari is what it. It's got to be what it is. Then we got half WOP, quarter Persian, 100% fumes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Drexler.

[Chrissy D.]

Wow. Okay. Yeah, just a victim of the one before.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, just victim of the other ones.

[Chrissy D.]

Drunk Uncle Tyler, Bessie, Nicholas Gully, Non Toot Nova, Castrian. On notice.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, on notice. I like that notice.

[Chrissy D.]

Boys. Andy Hickman, David Jimenez Wool. I don't know about that. That dude. Okay, okay. Rohit Singh, Aban Hov Dylan, Max Arbo. Kamala's glue gun leans to the right.

[Giannis Pappas]

Drexler.

[Chrissy D.]

Drexler, Robert Stick. Father Bill's backboard.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's coming good.

[Chrissy D.]

It's coming good. But yeah, Father.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's inventive.

[Chrissy D.]

Father Bill's backboard.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm putting it on the list because it's inventive. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay. Then we got some white guys. Puerto Rican situation. Someday. It's a Latina woman.

[Giannis Pappas]

Drexler.

[Chrissy D.]

Drexler. Okay, mock moment. Matthew Tock. Nick is Franks and beans with a side of white rice.

[Giannis Pappas]

Drexler. Drexler.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay. Jessica Bosco. Then we got Rowdy Rough Boy. Then we got Trump 2024. Bushy Giannis. And Chrissy the Little Stinker. 2028.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a Drexler.

[Chrissy D.]

Gustavo. Glue Gun. Big C. Money Zach Patrick Murray. Steady Eddie Glean, Tip Top Magoo, Jessica Romeo, Jake Casadi. Then we got Gianni Luciani. Put his piece inside of Yanni. Weishan Chiad.

[Giannis Pappas]

What do you think?

[Chrissy D.]

It's up to you. I can't make this call.

[Giannis Pappas]

This is you, this Drexler. Because there's too many good ones.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a funny one.

[Chrissy D.]

Then we got a piece of Ravioli Pete's.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay, it's a Drexler again.

[Chrissy D.]

This one I'm going to read out loud. This will be cackled. Cannot be on the YouTube. Then we got Nick.

[Giannis Pappas]

Security. Okay.

[Chrissy D.]

Then we got JJ three dollar bill. D. The wall. Three feet high. McGillicuddy. Okay. Okay. Good name, but just tough to read.

[Giannis Pappas]

Tough to read.

[Chrissy D.]

Then we got Cackling Kamala.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a. That's a definition of a chicken finger. Right.

[Chrissy D.]

Then we got Jowell Gon. Clav Reed. Whis. Then we got A Muzzy Stuck My cousin and made me Fuzzy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Drexler.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay. Then we got cpr. Chris G. Pseudo Cyclops. Swing and Stick.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a Drexler.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay. Then we got Connor Caroza. Fumariana Grande.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's a PPW nominee.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

So that's on the list.

[Chrissy D.]

Full Miara.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, yeah. And now I could see their emails. That's from Justin Chambers. So good job.

[Giannis Pappas]

Good job. Inventive.

[Chrissy D.]

Then we got Mikey. Take me to Poughkeepsie, because I'm on the spectrum.

[Giannis Pappas]

O. He. He went for it. It's Rexler. Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

And it's. It's on. That's very unfortunate because you're coming right after Fumar. Fumariana Grande, which feels like the winner. And that's just unfortunate timing.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's unfortunate, but it's a good one.

[Chrissy D.]

Jake Warzak. Jake H. Chad Brown. Cam. Connor. Connor Struggle. Then we got Johnny the Greek. Squeak Poopice. Then we got Your dad Owes me Money.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chicken Finger.

[Chrissy D.]

Then we Got Gung Gong. Then we got HH Fag. Oh, sorry, you caught me on that one. I didn't realize that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, security.

[Chrissy D.]

So then we got Tony Hyenas make me puing in a different way.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wow, that's Drexler. It's a good one.

[Chrissy D.]

Raymond Yolfo, Aaron H. Jose Merlo, Cody West, Gabriel Kunder Mohler, Sam Otis, Andrew Abraham, Andrew Tehra. Okay, so we're only going to read a few more of these and then we'll remember where we left off. Left off. And we're going to try to. You know, this is Diana's. We're going to try to. We're going to do what we can.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, we'll get to you.

[Chrissy D.]

Keep writing the names. Alexis Bender. Patrick Minogue. Sha Dolman. Yanni Cyclopo. Yanni Psy Clopoulis Papus. Okay, that's a.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a Drexler and a chicken finger.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. Then we got Chris Lemming, Sal. Then we got Shout Out, Patrick Mahomes. Then we got the dog that bit Whitney.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know that story.

[Chrissy D.]

Did Whitney Cummings get bit by a dog?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, I broke up a dog fighter house.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Dog bit her and bit the other dog and I broke up the dog fight.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah, it bit her hard too. Right?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I'm gonna have to go for the event. I'm gonna have to put that on the list.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay. It's just very funny. Then we got C. Traposki, Leo Dorfman. Then we got Chris. It's Father Bill Cole. Me back.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's the list.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. No one's ever done that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chrissy D.]

Nicole Rosales, Brian Cox, Tommy Toots, Milk with dinner and you'll never be thinner.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay, okay.

[Chrissy D.]

John Hoffman, Alyssa Jack. Ey Jay Fine, Ludy Dietrich, the tiny man, B.B. nene's Fupa.

[Giannis Pappas]

Drexler. Made you laugh though.

[Chrissy D.]

Tyler Sinkowicks. Then we got Tony. Crack me open and fill me up. Like, hold on. Crack me open and. Okay, yeah, this one is Tony. Crack me open and fill me up like a goth Pog Carfano. Too wordy but good, good, good. Then we got Willie. Got a Nam Mean Tim Duncan. My spleen doesn't know I have a right lean. Lot of 14.

[Giannis Pappas]

What am I supposed to do? Cuz that's going to list. Okay, contender.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's worked a lot of things it there.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay, here we go. Tongue punching, turd cutter. Since 04.

[Giannis Pappas]

On the list.

[Chrissy D.]

What am I on the list? Okay, okay, okay. All right, so then we got Hyena Humper, Chicken finger, Tara, John Beef Gunner Galsuka. Then we got Kamala's Yeast Infection. Oh, Kamala's Yeast Infection. Cinnabunny.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's got to go with the list. Okay.

[Chrissy D.]

Ryan Mulder. The Boulder. Yeah. Then we got German Jew Bagel.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a Drexler.

[Chrissy D.]

It's a Drexler.

[Giannis Pappas]

Strong Drexler.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay. And then we got Brittany M. Hall. And then we got Maya. Soul Bleeds Red, White and Blue Chew.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a good one. It's a Drexler.

[Chrissy D.]

It's a Drexler. Okay, so those are the names. So let me just go back here and read the list. Okay, so we got. Oh, unfortunately, here's the first mistake we made, and we'll. We'll do better next time. I. I'm sorry. When I. I was checking off the boxes on each one, and then when you go back, it unchecks the box. So now. So what I'm gonna do, though, I have them here, though. So we got Pingu's Lost. Negligent Discharge.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chrissy D.]

Okay. And then we have. Okay. And Fat Tube. Sock Mic. I mean, you know, we up. I mean, Fumariana Grande is the winner.

[Giannis Pappas]

Mariana Grande. Seems like it.

[Chrissy D.]

You're the ppw.

[Giannis Pappas]

Combination of chicken finger with a. Just on the list. But they were all good, unfortunately. You could have. If we remembered where they were, you could have put up a stronger contention. But the ones we laughed at, that's what you guys do it for. So congratulations. Kumari Grande.

[Chrissy D.]

Come out. Congratulations for Mariana Grande. Email us. What is the [e-mail] gmail.com?

[Giannis Pappas]

That'S right.

[Chrissy D.]

Email us and maybe give us your address or something. Or maybe you can. Oh, no. What we do, you should do for the PPW the week we'd like. Let them zoom in to an episode. Yeah. On a Patreon. So we could do that for the ppw. If you win ppw, you can come live on the show over Zoom. Oh, I like it like that. This way we don't have to mail because we still are screwed. And we're still trying to build our infrastructure.

[Giannis Pappas]

We're building our infrastructure.

[Chrissy D.]

We don't have the money for stamps yet.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, just. We're building our infrastructure and thanks. Thanks. We're here.

[Chrissy D.]

Yeah. I mean, the new name of this podcast is. Are you island of Garbage?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. We are now the herstory hyenas with the herness.

[Chrissy D.]

And we are, make no mistake, the Menendez sisters.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's right.

[Chrissy D.]

Don't forget that one.