The Armenian Genocide was Brutes | History Hyenas

Summary

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History Hyenas: "The Armenian Genocide was Brutes"

Hosts: Chris Distefano ("Chrissy the Cuck") & Yannis Pappas ("Yanni One Eye")
Date: April 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the history, context, and legacy of the Armenian Genocide, with Chris and Yannis blending comedy with a surprisingly deep look at Ottoman imperial policy, the formation of modern Turkey, and the collective memory of ethnic cleansing in the 20th century. The hosts approach the topic with their typical irreverence, personal asides, and running jokes, but manage to break down nuanced historical events—relationships between Armenians, Greeks, and Turks, forced conversions, and why this genocide remains contentious globally.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Setting the Stage: The Ottoman Empire's "Tight Ship"

• The Ottomans were known for efficient and, at times, brutal administration over a multi-ethnic empire.
• They practiced the millet system: non-Muslim groups (like Armenians and Greeks) could keep their religion but remained second-class and had to pay jizya—a protection tax.
• Devşirme ("Dev Sherma" in the episode): Christian boys were forcibly taken, converted to Islam, and made into Janissary soldiers.

Yannis [04:39]:

"They had a whole thing. Look, it was an efficient empire. They ran a tight ship... every couple years... they'd say, that's your seven year old son. And they would go, yeah. And they go, he's ours now and we're going to turn him into an elite Muslim genocide. That's what it is."

Contextualizing Historical "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys"

• Armenians: Christians, proud of their resilience. "Let's set the table. Armenians are Christians... So Armenians are the good guys." – Chris [07:25]
• Greeks and Armenians shared solidarity under Ottoman rule.
• Empire enforced conversion and name changes for those who wished to avoid taxes or gain legal rights.
• The cultural and genetic makeup of modern Turkey is, per Yannis, largely the result of centuries of forced conversions of Armenians, Greeks, Assyrians, and local tribes.

Chris [10:34]:

"So that's the only way I could see it. Good guys and bad guys."

The Lead-up to the Armenian Genocide

• In the early 20th century, the Ottoman Empire was weakening after centuries in power & losses in WWI.
• Armenian intellectuals in Constantinople began calling for equality and basic rights.
• The Young Turks (reformists, nationalists) wanted to modernize and homogenize Turkey as an ethno-religious state.

Yannis [29:27]:

"A boy named Ataturk came along and Young Turks, and they were like, we're going to create a nation state, an ethno nation state. That's Muslims. That's for Muslims. And Armenians are not a part of this state."

The Genocide Unfolds

[31:08–33:40]

• The Ottoman authorities accused Armenians of collaborating with Russians—using this as a pretext.
• Armenian community leaders and intellectuals were rounded up (often executed).
• Mass deportations: whole communities, including women, children, and the elderly, were marched into the Syrian desert—most died via starvation, exposure, or systematic massacre.
• Estimated death toll: 664,000 to 1.5 million Armenians.

Yannis [32:15]:

"It was a death march... they, it was a death march."

Chris [32:44]:

"Think about this as the Holocaust for Armenian people."

Historical Legacy and Denial

• Turkey (and other nations, like Azerbaijan and Pakistan) still officially deny it was a genocide; many nations have recognized it only recently (US in 2019).
• The term “genocide” itself was coined in response to this event by Polish lawyer Raphael Lemkin.
• The show discusses why awareness is lower compared to the Holocaust, referencing geopolitics and alliances (e.g., Turkey as a NATO member).

Yannis [52:11]:

"The United States officially in 2019 recognized it. So it was not long ago... so it just passed. And it's still, it's still a hotly contested issue."

Parallels With Greek and Assyrian Experiences

• Following the genocide, population exchanges forced Greek and Turkish families to “return” to lands their ancestors hadn’t inhabited for generations.
• Greeks and Assyrians also faced ethnic cleansing by the Young Turks (1914–1923).
• The modern Turkish state subsequently became a predominantly Muslim ethnostate.

Yannis [49:42]:

"So what the Turks, the Young Turks did in Constantinople, is they deported or killed or executed or ethnically cleansed the Assyrians, the Armenians and the Greeks, which were the three big minority groups..."

Contemporary Relevance and Complications

• Modern conflicts: recent military attacks by Azerbaijan on Armenian regions, with international powers (including Israel) playing complicated roles.
• Sociopolitical reflection: Israel supplies Azerbaijan (against Armenia) for strategic reasons, further complicating alliances.

Yannis [45:40]:

"Israel has helped Azerbaijan do this to Armenia directly by giving them weapons because Israel gets cheap oil from Azerbaijan..."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Yannis [07:13] (On Armenian surnames):

  "Whenever you see an I-A-N, it's Armenian."

• Chris [12:12] (On Constantinople):

  "I would like to have that back in the hands of the good guys. It's right now. It's not in the hands of the good guys."

• Yannis [13:35] (On the Crusades):

  "The truth is that the Crusades was a response of Islam taking Christian lands like Armenia and Egypt... The Crusades were a response."

• Chris [14:33] (On the meaning of 'Islam'):

  "Just to throw it in there... the word Islam does mean surrender. Submission. It means submission."

• Yannis [32:44] (On comparing atrocities):

  "If you are Armenian. It was the Armenian pop. We're talking about 1.5 million people... Think about this as the Holocaust for Armenian people."

• Chris [53:03] (On dark humor):

  "When you're watching the NBA playoffs tonight, think about the Armenian genocide."

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Important Timestamps

• 03:20: Announcing the main topic—Armenian Genocide
• 07:25–08:18: Framework: "Armenians are Christians"—emphasizing religious divides in history
• 16:01–18:41: In-depth on Devşirme/"blood tax" and Janissaries
• 29:27–31:06: Introduction of Young Turks, Ataturk, and rise of Turkish ethno-nationalism
• 31:22–33:40: The genocide process—intellectuals rounded up, death marches, systematic extermination
• 34:09: Origin of term "genocide"
• 35:12–38:10: Population exchanges, aftermath for Greeks and Turks
• 42:25: Why the genocide is less taught/talked about; media and politics
• 44:00–45:40: Modern conflicts—Azerbaijan vs. Armenia, Israel’s geopolitical interests
• 49:42–50:10: Broader pattern of forced removal—Armenians, Greeks, Assyrians
• 52:10–52:33: The US and global recognition of the genocide
• 53:03: Signature irreverent Hyenas closing riff.

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Tone and Additional Observations

• Comedic edge: The hosts are playful, irreverent, often blending dark humor with history.
• Personal perspective: Both draw from their Greek heritage (Yannis especially) in contextualizing events.
• Honest engagement: Despite jokes, the discussion on why the Armenian genocide is controversial is nuanced—pointing to current geopolitics and the reluctance of powerful countries to upset Turkey.
• Harsh history, soft underbelly: They use "good guys/bad guys" analogies, but always clarify (sometimes via jokes) that historical context is not a moral absolute.

Chris [53:08]:

"Armenian women are welcome. We are release the babes of Armenia."

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TL;DR Summary

Chris and Yannis, blending biting humor and real history, explore the Armenian Genocide—from Ottoman oppression to the policies of the Young Turks, the extermination of Armenians, and the geopolitical legacies that still provoke denial and silence. The episode is raw, funny, and unexpectedly informative—treating atrocities, denialism, and ethnic identity with the History Hyenas’ trademark raucousness balanced by surprising sensitivity to the ongoing pain in the Armenian (and Greek, and Assyrian) communities.

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For More

• History Hyenas on YouTube
• Patreon
• Read more about the Armenian Genocide: Wikipedia

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Transcript

[A]

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[A]

What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of History hyenas. I'm Chris DiStefano, aka Chrissy the Cuck. With me as always, Giannis Pappas, aka Yanni One Eye. I want you to have fun with this episode. Do not forget to like and subscribe to that YouTube page, YouTube.comhistoryhyenas and patreon.comhistoryhyenas for the bonus episodes and the ad free episodes. Episodes. Tell your friends. All right, guys, I'm back on the road every single Thursday in New York City at New York Comedy Club. Six and 8:30pm shows, go to christycomedy.com for Tikiwikis. And then in late June, I am at Stamford Comedy Club. And then August, we are at Atlantic City Comedy Club. More dates coming. Christy.Comedy.com.

[B]

yeah, we're sticking around. We're trying to stay away from planes. So you can see me this weekend, May 2nd in Emmaus, Pennsylvania, at the Emmaus Theater, Atlantic City, New Jersey, at the Tropicana Casino Comedy Club, whatever that is there.

[A]

That's Atlantic City Comedy Club.

[B]

Yeah. 6-26-20, East Hampton, New York, July 8th, New Brunswick, July 17th through the 18th. Philly Punchline, August 14th and the 15th. And then Austin, Texas, August 21st through 23rd. Giannispepperscomedy.com for tickets. Enjoy this freaking episode, which you already are. Yeah, that's where the wild things are. And I'm Yanni One Eye. I'm Yanni Minion. Yeah, it's what nobody's called me. Yanni Minion.

[A]

Yanni Minion.

[B]

Because they got One Eye.

[A]

Those are the new ones that are going to start popping out. But you like Yanni One Eye.

[B]

I like Yachty One Eye. It sounds like a name I was given to by Italians and Bensonhurst.

[A]

It's what it is. Yanni One Eye. It sounds like. Yeah, like that Joey Gaspipe gave you that.

[B]

Yeah, it just sounds like they take your worst quality and they Italians will just make it your name now.

[A]

Cuz today we're gonna be talking about the Armenian genocide, okay? And we're not talking about Keeping up with the Kardashians. We're talking about the historical debacle in the early 1900s. Just another one for the Ottoman Empire, just slaughtering innocents.

[B]

They were pretty good at it.

[A]

They were what it is.

[B]

They were pretty good. They had a whole thing. Look, it was an efficient empire. They ran a tight ship. Yeah, they did their Dev Sherma sweeps every couple years. What they would do is they'd go around, they'd go around to areas in the Balkans, Slavic areas, Greek areas, up into the caucuses and they just go into your home and they'd say, that's your seven year old son. And they would go, yeah. And they go, he's ours now and we're going to turn him into an elite Muslim genocide. That's what it is.

[A]

And now look, I know he's going

[B]

to come back and kill you.

[A]

I know that people are out there saying like, Jesus, these guys, every week they're making something Islam. We're not. We're just doing history. Today we're gonna do a history episode just about again. Just another, you know, Muslim slaughter that we came upon. And this has nothing to. We're just giving you the facts here because, you know, if Mamdani wants to run New York City, he's okay. But we can have our response too, when our. We respond with history and we respond with the facts.

[B]

We respond. We respond with the. That fact. Facts. Here's the interesting thing. So here is the very interesting thing. You got to give credit to Mamdani. A lot of people were surprised about this.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

So we're doing this episode not because we like talking about the Ottoman Empire and about Muslim atrocities as much as we're trying to catch the trending algorithm that's what because two days ago was the Armenian genocide anniversary.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And so it was all over social media and the news. And the thing about the Armenian genocide is it's controversial. Right, right. It's controversial because 34 nations recognize it, but a bunch don't. And those ones that don't are Turkey, Pakistan and a couple of places Israel won't.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I found out that it was the Armenian genocide anniversary when I somehow found stumbled onto Hasan Piker's twitch stream from a five star hotel in Cuba as he was cheering on the death of of the Armenians while lifting weights and doing peptides.

[B]

Assad Piker, if he did a 23andMe, unfortunately the kid would be a Greek or Armenian kid.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

It's just what it is. The Turks, they looked a little bit more. The Turks look a little more Ali Wang ish.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

So they're Central Asian so they, they're a little bit more hide and go seek looking.

[A]

Listen, here's the thing with Hasan Ladder 14. Here's the thing with Hasan Piker is he's a gorgeous, really gorgeous kid and he will get a tap kiss from me on his uncircumcised penis because he

[B]

is such a cute kid. He's a fun kid. He's an entertaining kid. I enjoy that kid. He's under a lot of heat right now because he said he would go into Whole Foods and he would, he would love to steal cuz corporations he likes wants to steal from them.

[A]

It's what it is. Cause today.

[B]

And he also said he understand why the head of that, the CEO of that health company got murdered because he was committing social murder.

[A]

My kids asked me yesterday why I was roaming around on my hands and knees with a shock collar on. I said I'm making believe I'm Hassan Piker's dog.

[B]

Cause if you're Turkish they just like order. They want you to submit.

[A]

So what's interesting, they wanted a dog to submit. So here's another fun fact too because I know Hasan Piker's been in the news and Hasan Piker has been on my podcast actually like the guy. But he, you know, he got famous from a show called the Young Turks and we found out the origination of the Young Turks is actually from the Armenian genocide time.

[B]

Yeah. Which is. What's her name? Anna Kvassfian, Whatever. Her name is Annika. You know what's her name?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Chank's co host, she's Armenian. So she did you say whose co host, Cenk.

[A]

Oh, chank. Okay. I thought you said something else.

[B]

Yeah, Anna Kasparian. She's Armenian. Whenever you see an I a N, it's Armenian.

[A]

I see.

[B]

And I'll say this. Armenians are Christians. They are Christians. Let's set the table. Armenians are Christians.

[A]

Okay. So Armenians are the good guys.

[B]

The Greeks.

[A]

Armenians are not mean.

[B]

Armenians and Greeks are big fans of each other.

[A]

Right. Because they did not submit to Islam or Armenia. The Greeks didn't.

[B]

The Armenians also. The Armenians also. Right. The Armenians also. The Armenians also. It's a complicated thing out there in the Middle East.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Complicated thing.

[A]

But because Armenia was Christian.

[B]

Armenians are Christian.

[A]

They were Christian.

[B]

They all lived in the Ottoman Empire. The Greeks, the Armenians. It was all Ottoman. They conquered everything. Yeah. And then they had the millet system, which meant you can keep your religion, but you can never bring charges against a Muslim. If we want to come in your house and take your son and turn him into an elite Muslim fighter who's brainwashed and becomes a Manchurian Candidate and comes back and kills your village, that's our prerogative as well. We'll do that every couple of years.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Also, if your daughter is attractive, we might take her to and throw her in a harem.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now that part I understand because I would have done the same.

[A]

Now also too, they added. They just updated that. They also can hit the prayer rug in your driveway after they drop off the Uber Eats.

[B]

That's part of what is allowed under Sharia law.

[A]

And if you want to hear all about that, go to patreon.com history we now have a court case on our hands.

[B]

That is one of the best episodes we ever done. It's based on a true story that happened to one of the co hosts you're looking at right now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So this is the Ottoman Empire. They. This is the Malay system. So if you were Armenian or you were Greek, you had to pay a tax.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Right. Some would call it a protection tax.

[A]

A jiza.

[B]

They called it a jiza. It was a protection tax, was what they call it. Just like the Mafia would call it a protection tax.

[A]

It's a protection tax. That's all it is, is for your protection.

[B]

For your protection. You're under the protection of the Muslim Ottoman Empire.

[A]

That's all I'm saying.

[B]

So nobody can mess with you, but you have to pay us a little extra. Extra. And so that would. It was genius because it would really put the financial pressure on you to convince you like most people ended up converting just so they could have the law.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Just they could have the law and that. They could. Don't have to pay the tax. Right. But then you had to go to the military. But then the Turk. The Ottomans would make you change your name. They make you change your name to a Turkish name. The total Turkification.

[A]

So, like, what would be like changing to, like a Turk name?

[B]

They change it to like, Hasan Piker from, like, Papadulas.

[A]

So if your name was Giannis Pompous, what would your Turkish name be?

[B]

Hass Piker. It would be Hasan or Mehmet or Mahat. Yeah, yeah, something like that. And you would change your name. So actually, and this is just the truth, the majority of Turkey now, which is the nation state of Turkey, that grew out of the Ottoman Empire, what was left of it after the. The borders receded after World War I. The majority of the Turkish population is converted Greeks, Armenians, Assyrians and Anatolians, which are. There was different types of Anatolians.

[A]

Wait, Anatolians are Turkish.

[B]

They're from the air. They're Turkish now. But originally they were just tribes of people that were living there. So.

[A]

So I'm just gonna add. Just, just. Just to keep it simple without saying names.

[B]

Just.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Good guys and bad guys.

[A]

Anatolians, the good guys are the bad guys. So that's the only way I could see it. Good guys, Anatolians are the good guys. Anatolians are the good guys. Okay, so. So that. Just break it down.

[B]

We got. For the hall of justice and the Legion of Doom.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So the Anatolians are the good gu. Because my brain's a little slow because the ketones were off. Anatolians are the good guys.

[B]

Anatolians are Luke Skywalker and his people and the. And the Jedi Knights. And then you got Darth Vader and. And that guy and the dart that.

[A]

So just so I know. So when we say Darth Vader and the Death Star, just, just in this situation, Darth Vader's wearing a turban ladder 14.

[B]

Just. They're covered. That's just like Darth Vader. It just. There's something over his body.

[A]

It's just what it is.

[B]

It's just fully clothed. Yeah, yeah. So you had the Anatolians. And you know, that area used to be the Byzantine Empire, so it was all Christian. Syria was Christian.

[A]

Egypt was all Christian, all Christian Europe, Christian. Armenia. Good guys, good guys all over the Middle East.

[B]

Good guys all over the Middle East. Now, we're not going to sugarcoat it. The Byzantines also didn't just Ask you to convert.

[A]

Sometimes.

[B]

Sometimes they said, oh, you're worshiping. You have a leaf over your dick and you're worship. Like you said. Yeah. You got a leaf over your dip and you're worshiping some fucking tribal God. Well, now it's Jesus, right?

[A]

Now it's Jesus.

[B]

So.

[A]

So the good guys could do bad. The good guys could do things. Let's just be honest.

[B]

But they were still the good guys.

[A]

But they were still overall good. But they did have bad moments.

[B]

Yeah, their prophet was a guy who preached peace. He wasn't. Ain't.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

Just bleep that. You gotta bleep it.

[A]

So.

[B]

And you know, Istanbul was Constantinople, right. Which was the fucking center of the Christian Byzantine Empire where the Shroud of Turin was.

[A]

Right. So Istanbul, Istanbul right now is the capital of modern day Turkey, which used to be Constantinople. And I just want to say, just

[B]

like the way New York is now, New York, but in a couple of years it'll be called New Kandahar.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So I just would like to say. And this is just a. I'm not saying for any reason why. I'm just going to say it and you. I just would like Constantinople back. So do I. Yeah, I'd like it back just like, because I know, like the. What is it? The Sophia. Sophia Hagia Sophia.

[B]

I would like to have that back.

[A]

I would like to have that back in the hands of the good guys. It's right now. It's not in the hands of the good guys.

[B]

It's currently a big mosque.

[A]

We lost it a long time ago.

[B]

We lost Constantinople. We lost Constantinople with all this stuff is contextually relevant leading up to the Armenian genocide. So.

[A]

And by the way, when I say good guys versus bad guys, I'm talking about historically, I'm not saying anything present day. We have a lot of historical bad guys that are now good guys in present day. When I talk about history, good guys versus the bad guys, I'm talking about history.

[B]

Right? Right.

[A]

Even though I did have a bad guy, an Uber Eats driver, I had a bad guy.

[B]

Right? Right.

[A]

I did a bad guy show up on my property.

[B]

We're basically saying is we want to go to Turkey and we want to do hypnosis like this and go. What was your real name? Yeah, what's your worries? Who was your real grandparents? Until they start going. Until they start going, I know there's a Greek in there. I know there's a Greek in there somewhere. Yeah, talk to me. I know there's an Armenian in there.

[A]

Yeah. Let me just say too, just real quickly, even though it doesn't have anything to do with, with today's episode, I just wanna say real quick that the Crusades was not good guys. The Crusades was not a war that you learned about in school. You always, some learn, sometimes learn about the Crusades in school as very bad Christian men doing very bad things to Muslims. I just wanna say that that's a lie. That's just, that's all like liberal, you know, unholy trinity stuff that we've spoken about. The truth is that the Crusades was a response of Islam taking Christian lands like Armenia and Egypt and all those countries you mentioned. So it was, it was a response. The Crusades were a response. So we didn't start it, is what I'm saying.

[B]

That's historically accurate.

[A]

That's historically accurate.

[B]

It's just historic. It's objectively accurate. It wasn't just those lands. They started marching into Europe and they wanted to try to take Vienna and there was a stand at Vienna and then the Christians were trying to reclaim the lands that they had lost.

[A]

Yeah. And I just want to remind, just again, just, just to throw it in there, just so we have it, that the word Islam does mean surrender. So it just. Islam just know that that's not what Christianity means. The word Islam means surrender. It means submit. Submission. It means submission. So just, that's just, just know that that's, you know what's happening. That's what the word of the religion is. Submit.

[B]

Every. Every. Whenever you mix religion and power, bad things happen. But the Ottoman Empire had it sort of institutionalized in a smart way. The Christians came along and they kind of did it very much by the sword.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Whereas the Ottomans were like, we're going to run an efficient empire and we're going to slowly turn you into us.

[A]

Right. Which is actually more smarter. Smarter and it's actually it cleaner.

[B]

I think it's the way mom dummy can really balance the budget of the city is if he just does a Jesa. Yeah. I mean you got a lot of Christians, you got a lot of Jews. You just say, hey, you can convert to Islam and if you don't, you just got to pay an extra tax.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then with that extra tax, we can balance the budget in New York City.

[A]

It's what it is. And Stambros wouldn't have broken his arm falling off that lime scooter if there were free buses in our city.

[B]

There's no question in My mind that Stavros, if he wasn't probably from whatever island he was, and he was sort of an Anatolian Greek, if he was a Pontic Greek, no question his name would have a squiggly line over it. Right now. It would just be a squiggly line and he'd. Speaking a different language.

[A]

Feel better, Stombros. Hope your arm is better.

[B]

Feel better. Hope you're doing good.

[A]

As I said on the Patreon, get off the scooter. I want you to go down on the lime scooters and up on the limes.

[B]

It's a little more fruit is what you're saying.

[A]

That's what I'm saying, yeah.

[B]

Okay. So this is the Ottoman Empire 400 years. They run all that area. Armenia, the Kurds. Everyone is under the Ottoman Empire and it is the millet system. So if you're Muslim, you're basically a first class citizen. If you' the melee system, you are Dev shirt. You are Dev Sherma.

[A]

You.

[B]

I'm sorry, you are in the Malay system. You're a second class.

[A]

What is Dev sherma?

[B]

Dev Sherma is. This is a.

[A]

Sounds like a cricket player.

[B]

Dev Sherma sweeps.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Dev Schwarma sweeps. They would do Dev Sherma sweeps every couple years.

[A]

And what is Dev Sherman?

[B]

They would go pay a little visit.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

They would go pay a visit. Little visit. They would.

[A]

Because this is when we Google Dev Sherman, you got this Bollywood actor.

[B]

Yeah, Jesse. It's all one word with an I. Yeah. Dev Sheer, but with an I. Yeah, there you go. Just go down for the suggestion. Jesse's got a ged.

[A]

Yeah, Jesse's. I'm going to start calling him Fifth Avenue Jesse.

[B]

Yeah. So the Dev Shearma was a blood tax. It was an Ottoman policy that forcibly levied Christian boys from the Balkans, converting them to Islam to serve as elite janissary soldiers or high ranking bureaucrats loyal to the sultan. This system created meritaric merit. Merit. Merit to rot. Meritocracy. Meritocracy, yeah. Ruling class separated from family ties that powered the empire's expense.

[A]

So in other words, because Christian boys from the Balkans, you. If you were alive in the 14th to 17th century, you would have been a janissary.

[B]

I would have. It was up to them.

[A]

Because you're a Balkan boy.

[B]

Yeah, I'm a Balkan boy. Big, big. So if you were Slavic from Bulgaria or, you know, Romania or Serbia or Greece or any of those areas, all the way up, they love the Caesareans, which are a Caucasian group because they said they had beautiful women. That's where they love to get their sexual slaves. They love the Caesarean women with the white women. They love. They love those, like Russian looking women. They loved them, but they also liked the Greek women. And so they would do the shrama sweeps where when they were coming, they wanted. So they were recruiting soldiers, they would brainwash you. So they take you from your family. Your family would be crying and they'd just come in your house and they would forcibly remove you from your family as a little boy and they would take you to Istanbul, they would force you to convert to Islam, they would raise you Islamic. So the kids all had Stockholm syndrome. And then they became elite fighters for the Sultan. And they would then go and oppress the places that they were from. Right. Because now they were like fully loyal to the Ottoman Empire.

[A]

I think Vlad Dracula, this happened to the actual Vlad the Impaler. He was taken in because of this. And then Vlad Dracula. Vlad the Impaler was a crusader. When he would. He was impaling. He was impaling Ottomans, right?

[B]

Yeah, this was just the system. Yes, exactly. Turks. Yeah. So this was the system. This is how they ran their empire. So they got taxes from the Malay system, from all the protected minorities, which were Zoroastrianism, which they were slowly converting.

[A]

Iranians, that's like Iranians, right.

[B]

Modern day Persians, Zoroastrianism's Armenians, the Jews. Very few Jews converted and Orthodox.

[A]

They just stayed true to who they were.

[B]

Yeah, Very few Armenians converted because they had a strong central church, one of the oldest churches. Very few Greeks and Montenegrins, strong Orthodox church. So they paid the tax and they also did guerrilla warfare constantly.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like the Montenegrins to, to. To try to.

[A]

So the Ottomans like to kill them. They didn't like that.

[B]

But a lot of Greeks and Armenians and Assyrians who are also Christian converted in Anatolia, which is the area basically of Turkey now.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's like. It's called Anatolia, that area. Right. So you had. And then there was like little tribes there that they also converted.

[A]

So we'll call that for right now, we'll call that the nice part of Turkey.

[B]

Call it the Death Star.

[A]

Yeah, well, no, not Anatolia.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because that was the nice part.

[B]

Well, no, Anatoly was like the main area. Right. So the Turkic. The Turkic warriors, they were basically like Mongolians. Right. They were hired by the Arabs, first taught to fight by the Arabs and then they came and conquered. They conquered the former Byzantine lands that make up Anatolia.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

So these were like Asiatic looking people from the steppes that came down, they were Muslim and they came down and they started the Ottoman Empire from the steppes.

[A]

Not from the Neutrals.

[B]

They were from the steps. Yeah, they were from the steppes.

[A]

S, T E P P E S. Yeah.

[B]

So they came down and most of the genetic makeup they say of the Anatolia area is like at most 9, 10%. Most of them have zero Turkic in them. Like, thank God I have none.

[A]

But you're positive.

[B]

But yeah.

[A]

You did clean sweep?

[B]

I did clean sweep. No Central Asian DNA.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No Central. I am an Anatolian Greek and I am Minoan Greek from Crete. Yeah, yeah. Hellenic all the way, baby. Yeah, I'm Hellenicized. Yeah. So. So they came down and so the most it'll be is like usually 9 to 10%. Okay. So the Turkish people look very, you know, Middle Eastern or European.

[A]

Right.

[B]

A lot of European because of the mixing with the women that they took, the intermarriage, the conversions. Right. Mostly conversions. Forced conversions or via the tax system. The Armenians kind of resisted and stayed a minority. The Greeks miss.

[A]

Turkey will get cracked open.

[B]

Yeah. And on islands it was harder for them to do. The mainland, they just easy picking.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So they'd convert a lot of Greeks and the Greeks and the Armenians would change their names. And that made up the Ottoman Empire. It was just like living in the Roman era. Or if you were like, Roman, you wanted to be Roman. I see you got like tax breaks. You became a citizen if you want

[A]

to be a U.S. citizen.

[B]

Yeah. If somebody raped. If someone raped your daughter, you could go to.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, like you could you. If you were not. If you were not Muslim, you couldn't just go to court and go, hey, this Muslim guy took my daughter. They'd be like, yeah, yeah, that's what it is. Because you're. Yeah. You're a Greek.

[A]

Yeah. Hello. It's just what we. Look at my helmet. I'm from the Death Star. Look at what I'm wearing.

[B]

You're just asking why a fish swims.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I'm in water.

[A]

Yeah. Hello.

[B]

So hello. That's what we do.

[A]

Yeah. I look at my belt, it's just severed Christian heads around my waist. Yeah. Which is what we do.

[B]

So they were discriminated against constantly. The Armenians then.

[A]

For years. For hundreds of years.

[B]

Hundreds of years. Hundreds of years. So then we have World War I.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And the Ottoman side with the Germans now you may change your opinion.

[A]

It's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. I saw a couple of videos and I think we posted on history Hyenas of the. Or you posted on the Instagram of. Of a. Not Armenian. I'm sorry, Ottomans.

[B]

I just get nervous when your hand goes like that.

[A]

Right. Ottoman Ottomans.

[B]

Yeah, I'm more com. 3/4. I'm not as comfortable. Yeah, I want it down here. Up here.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Because nobody ever did this. Salute. Yeah,

[A]

that's me. So the army, the Ottomans were Muslim Nazis. They have them. There's video footage of them hitting the prayer rug with full Nazi SS uniforms.

[B]

Yes, yeah, there was. Those were Croatians. Those were Croatians.

[A]

Croatian Muslims.

[B]

Croatian Muslims that sided with the Nazis. No, the Ottomans. Ottoman Empire was over by World War II.

[A]

Good point.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

We're talking about World War II.

[B]

World War I.

[A]

So this is the World War I. This is the German helmet that had like a look like a dick on it.

[B]

Had a little piece up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little piece.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so they sided with them and then that side lost. So the Ottoman Empire was like hurting and it got beat and the British were in there.

[A]

And then this is the first in 400 since the 14th century. This is really where the Ottoman Empire is starting to take a beating.

[B]

This is where the things started to turn on the muzzies.

[A]

This is where. This is where the good guys start to win a little bit.

[B]

This is where the artillery that Europe has a little stronger than what they got going over there. And we. And they start to win a little bit more.

[A]

Let's say we.

[B]

But I said they.

[A]

Let's just say for. This is the first time in 500 years, for whatever reason, Jesus had to send in the boys.

[B]

He sent in the boys. Jesus started making a little bit of what we call a comeback.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

He was down. He was like, oh, three quarter. We're down 15.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But guess who we got on our team? JC. JC's got a fucking sweet jumper. Knows to fucking move without the ball and get open.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cuz. Yeah. If you got better things to do than sit in the doctor's office talking about your hairline, then I need you to start doing hims hair loss treatment.

[B]

We really, really believe that this could help you. Yeah, okay. We do. Because listen, listen. It's really good stuff. They got 10 in one shampoos, random advice, expensive clinic visits. That's not what you want, right? Right. You want hims cuts through all that, Chris. With real trusted treatments that are 100% online.

[A]

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[B]

Wait, are you telling me that this is Dr. Trusted ingredients?

[A]

That's what I'm telling you cuz. And I'm a doctor of physical therapy.

[B]

So it's finasteride and minoxidil that can stop further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months.

[A]

I promise cuz finasteride is yummy, yummy in my tummy.

[B]

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[A]

himss.com hyenas Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil infinite asteract. All right guys. Yeah, look, we both got dogs.

[B]

We do.

[A]

We want to keep our dogs healthy. Want to keep them kids. So what I've been doing is in Josephine, my Siberian husky, I've been putting a little rough greens dog probiotics in her food and she loves it.

[B]

Oh cuz I love rough greens. They also give you treats. Yes, they give you a nice little starkit they sent to my, to me. There's some nice little treats I also give and I sprinkle it now because why not? Why not have a healthier dog?

[A]

Why not? And I've seen my dog doing so well. I've even started putting some of it in my smoothie.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Don't recommend that.

[B]

We do not recommend it. It's for dogs. Okay, so traditional dog food is shelf stable for years because it's lifeless. Rough greens. Rough greens brings the nutrition back. Packed with live vitamins, minerals, probiotics, digestive enzymes and omega oils. Chrissy.

[A]

Yummy. Dog food is dead food. Dr. Dennis Black's incredible background. Dr. Dennis Black, he probably started rough greens with his pit bull was Created by Naturop. Dr. Dennis Black is a 40 year cancer survivor and has been helping humans and their pets for over 25 years.

[B]

Yes, it's. It isn't dog food. It's a live Nutritional supplement. You just sprinkle it on. That's what I do. Yeah, you add it to your dog's food. You don't have to change your dog's food to improve your dog's health. Just add a scoop of rough greens. It's that easy.

[A]

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[B]

So the Ottoman Empire is in ruins. The Ottoman Empire is in ruins. They start retreating back. They get very paranoid because the Russians are in there. Russians are Christian. Russians are, you know, fucking with them. The British are fucking with them. The Greeks have their war of independence and fight them. Couple years, the Greeks win. So the Greeks take back mainland Greece. So the. The Ottomans are on their back feet. They're getting beat, right? They're getting beat.

[A]

They're in their back sandals.

[B]

They're in their back sandals. And the Armenians, a lot of Armenian intellectuals in Constantinople start saying, hey, we want. We don't want to be killed anymore. We would like that. We would like that.

[A]

We would like to not be murdered.

[B]

We don't want to be tortured anymore. We don't be. We want more equality. We're a persecuted minority, and we want a little bit of equality.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And the Ottomans go, okay, well, we'll cut a deal with you.

[A]

We'll kill you or we'll kill you. Yeah.

[B]

So that's the deal. And so what we're gonna do is we're gonna accuse you of conspiring with the Russians. Again, availability bias. It probably happened a little bit where the Russians work with the Armenians, the Armenians working with the Russians a little bit because they hated the Ottomans. The Ottomans had been repressioning them. But overall, the intellectuals were going for equality. Like they were trying to. To say, hey, now, just make us equal. Right? And the Turks were like, a boy named Ataturk came along and Young Turks, and they were like, we're going to create a nation state, an ethno nation state.

[A]

That's Muslims. That's for Muslims. And Armenians are not a part of this state.

[B]

This is for Muslims.

[A]

These are the Young Turks.

[B]

Right? Remember, Israel is unique. Nothing like this has ever happened in the. In the Middle east ever.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's just Israel that tried to create an ethno state. That's it. The Muslims never did it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Even you look at all the Muslim countries now. You go, they're all. They're all religious ethnostates. How did that happen? I don't know.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I don't know how it happened. But Israel's the only ones in the Middle east who've done this. Just remember that.

[A]

So who are the names of the Young Turks? Jesse, can we just do know? Yanni?

[B]

Yeah, It's Hasan Piker. Sound Piker. Sound Piker and Hasan Piker.

[A]

That's what it is. The Young Turk. Yeah, The. This Young Turk revolution starts in about 1908.

[B]

1908, they start.

[A]

They reinstated the Ottoman constitution. So this couldn't have felt good for the Armenians.

[B]

Right. So the Young Turks.

[A]

It's also a song by Rod Stewart.

[B]

Right. So they. They see, they see their move. They see their move when the Ottoman Empire is crumbling and the Young Turks want to modernize, and they want a nation state called Turkey, named after Ataturk. So they're like, we're going to be modern, we're going to be Muslim, we're going to be homogeneous and we're going to get these people out.

[A]

So in the early 1900s, when World War I started, that, you know, land that's now called Turkey, what was that called? Anatolia.

[B]

That was no Ottoman. That was the Ottoman Empire.

[A]

But. But. So it didn't have, like a name,

[B]

it was just called the Ottoman Empire.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

Yeah, it was called the Ottoman Empire. So guys like Talit Pasha and Enver Pasha, right, they start accusing the Armenians of being like the Spanish resistance, a fifth pillar. Like there's a resistance inside the country. And.

[A]

And it's the Armenians, it's the Armenians.

[B]

We gotta. We gotta do it. So the Armenians are going, we need. We need freedom. So then what they do, what the Young Turks do is they go into Constantinople, they round up all the Armenian intellectuals and they send them on a plane.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Send them on a plane to the sky.

[A]

They had planes back then.

[B]

Well into the sky.

[A]

Oh, right.

[B]

They put them into the sky.

[A]

So they started slitting their throats and throwing them in the river is what they started doing.

[B]

Rid of them? Yeah, they started getting rid of. Of them. And then they said, we're going to deport all the Armenians. We're gonna. We're gonna get them out.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And so what they did was they said, we're gonna march you out. Right, Right. We're gonna Organize, collect. All of you, take your.

[A]

So it's very similar to. I know what people are thinking like, oh, we're deporting innocent people that we here today call that ice. But they called it sand.

[B]

They called it sand. It was so sad. We're sending you to the sand. We're sending you in the direction of Syria. It happens to be a desert out there. It's a one way ticket. We're telling you that we're relocating you, like we're moving you out, but we're sending you into the desert right where like it's just. You're gonna die.

[A]

It's gonna die.

[B]

Yeah. So they, it was a death march.

[A]

And out there, even though I'm fully on the Armenian side, out there in the middle of the sand, it's hard to tell who's who because especially when sandstorm picks up, everybody kind of just looks like a chicken cutlet waiting to get fried.

[B]

That's what it is. Yeah, that's what it is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So they marched them. They marched him out. And on the way they would pluck them off, they, they'd start shooting them, whatever, or they'd line them up and bang, bang.

[A]

By the way, not just men, women,

[B]

children, elderly, women, children just are.

[A]

Think about this as the Holocaust for Armenian people.

[B]

This is if you are Armenian. It was the Armenian pop. We're talking about 1.5 million people.

[A]

That's almost all of every Armenian on the planet.

[B]

Yeah, it's just like all Armenians, there's 1.5 million of them. They were like, we're getting them out, out. We're getting them out. And so they marched them into the desert and they starved or they killed them, or it was organized killing. And we have documents saying that these were instructions on what to do. The Turks claim now because they don't want this to mess with their national history, they don't want anything to unravel. So they say it was just a result of war, just the, you know, the population exchanges. They were attacking us. They'll take one instance where Armenian rebels fought against mncc. They were, were conspiring with the Russians and this is what we had to do.

[A]

But tell us the truth, Yani One Eye.

[B]

The truth is they marched him out, used that as an excuse, said it was happening everywhere and they got rid of him because they wanted to create a Muslim Turkish ethno state.

[A]

Death toll was which they did. Estimated 664,000 to 1.5 million. They were killed through massacres, individual killings and systematic starvation.

[B]

That's what happened?

[A]

Because they wanted a Muslim ethno state. So what happened then?

[B]

So what happens is, is that happens

[A]

in what, 1914, 1915, 16 is when this genocide is. Which, by the way, the term genocide was made up by a Polish lawyer named Raphael Lemkin.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So that the term genocide really comes from this massacre.

[B]

Yeah. This is sort of just like history, Right. This is just what it is throughout history. So unfortunately. And it's ugly. So they. They kill them all. You know, however many died, one either, you know, anywhere from 600,000, 1.5 million were killed. And so the Turks were on their way to creating their new Turkey, the modern state of Turkey. But they still had to deal with the Greeks, right. Still to deal with the Greeks. So the Greeks tried to take back Smyrna. They tried to take back Constantinople. And they lost. They got crushed. Right. So. But the Greeks tried after they got their freedom and they. They were. Greece was back. They were like, let's try. Now that the Ottoman Empire is down on its luck, let's try to retake Constantinople for Jesus Christ.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

And they lost. And they lost. The Smyrna and Greeks were massacred and massacred, massacred. And then they decided we're gonna. They were forced into a population exchange.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So what they did was they killed. How many Greeks did they kill? There was. It's not called the Greek and genocide for whatever, but they. So we had the Greco World. Greco Turkish War from 2019-22. And the Greeks lost, tried to take back Constantinople. Didn't work. It's still Istanbul.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And then the population exchange, they were forced in by the Treaty of Lusani or whatever it's called, to the Treaty of loose Luce. Right. 1923. So they were going to. They said, all the Greeks gotta get out right Now. These are Greeks that have lived there through the Byzantine times for thousands of years. Thousands of years. So you're in your home. We're gonna confiscate your home. And you're gonna go to mainland Greece, a place they never lived.

[A]

No.

[B]

They don't know anything. It's basically going to another country.

[A]

And I'm sure things worked out. Cause Greeks are known as very accepting of newcomers, right?

[B]

So. But they were Greek, so they were accepted Greek. And then the Turkish. There was about 400,000 Turkish people who were colonizers who had moved into mainland Greece during the Ottoman Empire. That the Greeks. Wei Song Shien. This is the history class that just tells you what it is.

[A]

I mean, I thought if we'll be Honest. They were. They were the bad guys. Right. They were coming into mainland Greece. So they weren't well received is what I'm saying.

[B]

Right, exactly.

[A]

Because they were. I'm not saying I thought that, but I'm saying to a Greek person who's like, you know, living in downtown Apple.

[B]

100. Yeah, 100. They hadn't been there that long. Couple hundred years tops. Some of them even. 50 years, 20 years. They were Turkish overseers, Turkish administrators, Turkish people who assimilated, maybe married, whatever they were. They were out.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So the population exchanged. And then along the way, we had something that the Greeks consider a little bit of a genocide. And we're waiting for Jesse to pull that part up. And obstinate.

[A]

Let me just ask you this real quick. During this time, though, right? Cause knowing Greeks, the Greek culture. I know through you, the Ottomans, the conquerors who were now coming in to move to mainland Greece. I mean, you can't hit a prayer rug in the middle of downtown Athens in front of Greek people.

[B]

No, you cannot.

[A]

You're not gonna do that.

[B]

No, you cannot.

[A]

They weren't. There was no call to prayer for these Ottomans. That wasn't happening.

[B]

It was hap. They built a mosque. Right. In the Parthenon in Greece, in the Acropolis. Yeah, but during the Ottoman era.

[A]

Oh, during that, I'm saying. But we're now talking after the genocide, when the Ottomans just moved in there, they were like escaping almost. Right.

[B]

They didn't.

[A]

The Greeks were not going to allow that.

[B]

Like I said, you have to finish your full prescription of antibiotics.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Latter 14.

[A]

My question for you is this.

[B]

So we took every pill that was prescribed.

[A]

My question for you is this, right? Know the answer. Is there a mosque in current day Greece right now?

[B]

No, there's.

[A]

There's not one mosque in there.

[B]

There's a few. They're living. Where is it? Thrace. There's western Thrace and eastern Thrace. So they're all in Thrace. So it's technically Greek.

[A]

There's not. Because we've taken Athens.

[B]

No, no, no. There may be. What's going on now? There may be, like, you know, with

[A]

all the in the face region historic mosques.

[B]

Yeah. Greece has over 300 active historical mosques in the Thrace region. They have a small, tiny Muslim minority that's living in Greece, so. But they were historically there. We just took the land back and we left them there. And when I say we, I say they.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So Athens opened its first.

[A]

There's only one in 2020.

[B]

In 2020.

[A]

But it's state run.

[B]

It's state run.

[A]

So they can open and close it when they want. And you're not allowed to. They say you could come in here, but you're not allowed to pray or be Muslim. Yeah.

[B]

And there's not really anything else else. And there's pushback to this right now.

[A]

Yeah. Because I got to be. Pushback. I got to be honest with you. You know, I went, you know, in the five boroughs of New York City, mosque is trying to open up, like, pizzerias. So I was just wondering how it was in Greece.

[B]

Well, the mosque in the Acropolis was just removed. Soon as it wasn't going to stay there.

[A]

No, that might have been the first order.

[B]

Business wasn't going to stay there. It wasn't going to stay there. So there's a few like. Like historical mosque from the period that they left for historical reasons or whatever, but there's not many. I think the. I think in Greece, the percentage of Muslims is very low. Is it. What is it, 1 to 3%?

[A]

Something like that?

[B]

Something like that. Very low.

[A]

The lowest percentage of Muslims in Europe is Poland.

[B]

Yes. Yeah, they don't. They don't.

[A]

I don't think they have. Can you also. Jesse, too, next. Is there a mosque in the nation of Poland anywhere? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 91.6. Or ethnically Greek. 2%, 2.2%, 0.2% and 0.4 to 15.

[B]

No, it's 2%. It's 2.

[A]

Oh, sorry. That's a comma.

[B]

2% Muslim is very low.

[A]

Yeah. 4 to 15 are atheist.

[B]

But that's what you gotta. You gotta keep a loop. Recognizes it. We're just kidding. We're having a joke. We're joking around. Yeah, it's at the firehouse, what they say.

[A]

Yeah, that's just what.

[B]

That's what they said. Just for the immune system. You want to remind the immune system what we're dealing with.

[A]

Oh, wow. There aren't mosques in Muslim prayer places in Poland. Interesting.

[B]

There's only 17. Yeah, there's 17. Poland's a pretty big country, so. 17.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's what it is. I mean, there's 17 on Nick. Most people.

[B]

Listen, they're good people. Most people are just, you know, most Muslims are just.

[A]

That's what it is. Yeah, we're just messing around. We're talking about history.

[B]

No, we're just talking about history because there's only one problem with Quince. Why. And that problem is, I don't know how other clothing stores are going to stay in business because Quince is the best.

[A]

Dude. This sweater I'm wearing is from Quince. This sweater, if I bought this in like any other store, It'd be like $250. It was 50 bucks. Quince. If you. I'm being honest. I think all my entire wardrobe is now quints.

[B]

I just bought a breathable comfort that my wife saw on Quince. We used my promo code and we bought it. Quince is dope. Get the app. I'm telling you, use our promo code if you see anything you like. It's got so much high quality good clothes that I am using it to shop with my own promo code. That is the truth, my friend, because

[A]

the best part is the prices. I think they're 50 to 60% less than similar brands. How? Because Quints works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middleman. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Everything is designed to last and make getting dressed easy. Okay. All you got to do is go to quince.com hyenas you're going to get free shipping, 365 day returns. It's also available in Canada too. Go to Q U I n c e.com hyenas for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com hyenas I probably, I would say obviously you know, we, we buy from, we buy other. Sometimes you got to go to other stores. But I would say Quince is, is probably 90% of the purchases in my house are from quince.com?

[B]

well, that's what's happened. It's really happened to Miles. Like I said, we just gotta comfort her. You can't go wrong by taking a peek. Take a peek.

[A]

They got nice clothes. So the Armenian genocide, why. Why don't we learn about it more in school? Why is it only ever. Why is everything always about the Jews? Why don't we know more about. Why do we have to do digging for the Armenian genocide?

[B]

Well, because. Because.

[A]

What does Kim Kardashian say? Does she believe there's an Armenian genocide?

[B]

Of course she does. Okay, yeah, of course she's Armenian, so of course she does. Like I said, most, almost all historians say it happened. We have the original documents that confirmed that it happened. There's a lot of real politic reasons why other places don't admit it. Right? So you know, certain countries, you know, Turkey's a NATO member, so it's like. And they're very adamant, like the Turks get mad at this. So mom, dummy, just to get back to your original point Sorry, Yes. Issues a tweet on, on the day as a Muslim guy and he says, we're today, we're recognizing the Armenian genocide. And he goes hard too.

[A]

Well, look what Mamdani just got a check mark.

[B]

I mean, people were very, very happy. Yeah, people were very surprised by the tweet because the tweet was like detailed. And he was, went. Today marks the 111th anniversary of the Armenian genocide. Now, so for Turks, Muslim Turks hearing this, this is bad.

[A]

This.

[B]

They're going. I mean, and you could see the cow, the comments, they were like, you fake. You two faced. You're not a real Muslim. So he goes, we mark the 111th anniversary of the American genocide as we honor the 1.5 million Armenians.

[A]

Well, he went for. He took the high notes.

[B]

He took the high notes. Murdered by the Ottoman Empire. I mean, this is wild. Across modern day Turkey, Syria and Armenia. We must refuse to let history repeat itself in 2020. And then he goes even farther. The military forces of Azerbaijan and Turkey attacked the Armenian population. This is happening now. So what happened was Azerbaijan, which is Muslim, took land from Armenia. Like they lost land, like they had a war. Unfortunately, Azerbaijan is militarily assisted by Israel. Israel has given them the upper hand over Armenia because Israel views Azerbaijan, who are Shiite, but they have problems with the Shiite in Iran. So they like to bolster Azerbaijan against Iran because they're right there. They can spy right over them, even though they're Muslims.

[A]

They're the other team of the Muslims. Sort of national problem, the Shiite Muslims.

[B]

But the Shia Muslims, no, no, no, they're all Shiite. But this is, you know, it's not just Shiite. You got to remember, this is the power of nation states and jostling in the area for power. So Azerbaijan and Iran have problems basically about land and resources, things like that. But they're all Shiite Muslims. So. But Israel picks Azerbaijan. And unfortunately, Israel has helped Azerbaijan do this to Armenia directly by giving them weapons because Israel gets cheap oil from Azerbaijan. And also Azerbaijan has a problem with Iran. So they're. They're utilizing that. So.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So it's just Israel looking out for Israel, which is like, what's new?

[A]

Right, Right.

[B]

So Armenia has. So he's acknowledging that that's probably why he did it too, because, you know, knows that the Israelis are with the Azerbaijanis. And my point is it's a complicated neighborhood.

[A]

There's a lot of stuff going on.

[B]

Israel moved into the hood.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's a bad. Like if Israel wasn't there, there'd be ethnic cleansing and genocide. We're all comfortable with. If you see.

[A]

What I see is this from these tweets, all this explaining and you got to tell me about this group and that group and how one's posturing and jockey the other. Choose Jesus Christ. It's a lot easier.

[B]

And like we said on the Patreon, if you want to go where the wild things are on a certain Patreon episode, which was one of our. One of the moments that our fans over there love the most, you. We just are sick of the old sauce.

[A]

That's what we like.

[B]

The new sauce. We like sriracha.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

Yeah. We just don't like your thousand thousand islands sitting at the salad bar. We do sriracha now.

[A]

We make a good sauce [e-mail] history hygiene.

[B]

It's a good sauce. And keep your old world sauce away from the new sauce.

[A]

Now let's see what some of these comments are, which, by the way, are 99% of them are bots. I think we have to say this now once a month. If you're arguing with anyone, especially when it comes to politics on the Internet, you are arguing with a bot.

[B]

Right? So he go, oh, so do you

[A]

know what a real genocide title bomb? So it's not. This is not real.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So they're saying that the Gaza genocide is much bigger than the Armenian genocide.

[B]

Yeah, you got to do that. You gotta tie it to something like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I had heard that the Turks were propagandized into believing the Ottomans didn't do a holocide, but. Holy shit, I was not expecting this comment section. Why are we remembering the actions of foreigners in a foreign country? It's unfortunate. Once you see the squiggly lines. Yeah, that's what you see. Those are the squiggly lines.

[A]

Those are the squigglies. Yeah. Once you see the squigglies, you know, it's unfortunate. The popular mayor of New York, Mr. Mondami, allowed himself to be instrumentalized by radical Armenian lobbies by repeating the distorted claims about the events of 1950. 15. Okay, so these people are saying that they blew it out of proportion. There was no genocide.

[B]

Yeah, holy shit. You actually said something of actual importance. And then the real massacre was carried out by Armenian gangs who massacred 2.4 million people in Anatolia. The Turks opened their archives. The Armenians refused. Armenians have to apologize to the whole world, but especially to the Turks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So listen, listen. Israel is doing the same thing, right? All right. But this is all they're doing. Nothing different than other countries have done in that area. It's just this is what happens in this area. This is what they do. This is their culture.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

It's their culture over there.

[A]

So look and you know, so what do we do? Do we remember the Armenian genocide or do we not here at the History of Heinous podcast. Are we in remembrance?

[B]

Are we in remembrance of the Armenian genocide? It's a historical fact.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So that's what happened. And I'm a Greek, so it also happened, I know, from, you know, just being a Greek and I'm also the descendant of an Anatolian Greek. So my, my ancestors lived under the Ottoman Empire for 400 years. They weren't living in Greece, they were living under Turkish rule.

[A]

So like you have almost like first hand accounts, like stories, secondhand account.

[B]

Sorry, that's what my family came here. They were escaping the, the Ottoman Empire after the collapse from the island of Imvos, which is now Squiggly Lines. So most historians estimate about 300,000 to 900,000 Greeks were killed by the Ottomans in forced marches and deportations, starvation, mass killings. And these were all Anatolian Greeks. So we call it the Greek genocide. The Greek, which is 1914 to 1923. So that's what we. But the widely cited range is 300 to 900 in the early 20th century, you know, after the collapse.

[A]

Yeah. So I mean. Yeah. Cause.

[B]

And then you got the Assyrians. And so what the Turks, the Young Turks did in Constantinople is they deported or killed or executed or ethnically cleansed. The Assyrians, the, the Armenians and the Greeks, which were the three big minority groups and they just all were kicked out and Turkey became a, you know, absolute religious ethnostate of Muslims.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And there's.

[A]

And that's where it remains today.

[B]

That's where we are now.

[A]

That's where we are now.

[B]

That's where we are now.

[A]

But Turkey is an interesting place because a mostly Muslim country, but it's the only probably predominantly Muslim nation. That's NATO, right?

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Is there any other.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Muslim NATO countries?

[B]

I think you're right. Is that right?

[A]

I. I don't can't think of another one. Yeah, I mean, any. That. So because. Or Saudi Arabia. They're not. No, they're not.

[B]

No.

[A]

No way. Albania. Albania. But they're mostly Muslim.

[B]

No, they're half. They're half and half. The Muslims are half and half. Armenia. Albania is interesting because it's Half and half.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's literally like they're calling here a Muslim majority. Yeah, but not by a lot. Check out what the percentages are. And while you do, I'll tell you.

[A]

So I have Albanian neighbors that are Muslim.

[B]

Yeah. These are the countries that do not support it, that do not recognize the Armenian genocide side. Turkey officially denies, says the official position is death occurred during war, not a planned extermination. We have primary documents that say otherwise and evidence. And obviously the Armenians know Azerbaijan supports Turkey stance, influenced by regional conflict with Armenia, like I just told you. Then you got Pakistan, which you can always rely on them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They deny that it happened.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Israel, it's debated internally, but not formally recognized by Israel.

[A]

Okay, but we know why they're doing that.

[B]

We know why they're doing that. Some countries in Central Asia where the Turks are from, they don't like it. Parts of the Middle east and Africa. Africa reject it.

[A]

So everywhere else accepts it.

[B]

Over 30 countries, 34 countries formally recognized.

[A]

United States formally recognizes it.

[B]

I think just recently. I just. Just recently because we were sensitive with Turkey because Turkey was our ally. And yeah, you know, we have our bases there against ussr. So the United States. So this is. So this is a big deal for the Armenians. You know, it's a big deal for the Kardashian family.

[A]

Family. Right.

[B]

The United states officially, in 2019 recognized it. So it was not long ago that they officially recognized the Armenian genocide. So it's what it is. It's what it is. So it just passed. And it's still. It's still a hotly contested issue. And that's just what it is.

[A]

It's just what it is.

[B]

It's just what it is.

[A]

I mean, you know, if you look

[B]

at the Middle east, before Israel, there was pogroms in Iraq against the Jews. Right. And then after 48, their property was confiscated and they were kicked out of all the Muslim countries. It's just what it is. All those countries are off. No, also pretty much religious ethnostates. It's the Middle east infection.

[A]

It's what it is. It's what it is. I mean, so, you know, when you're watching the NBA playoffs tonight, think about the Armenian genocide.

[B]

Think about the Armenian genocide. And like we say in history, hyenas, Armenian women are welcome.

[A]

They are welcome. They are smoke shows.

[B]

We are release the babes of Armenia.

[A]

Armenia. And a lot of them probably have bushes. And I'm mostly into that lately. I've been watching a lot of porn with full bush.

[B]

Yeah. And the Armenian chicks. Like, listen, if you're African American, you want to release the babes of Armenia because they're coming to you first. Yeah, it's great. They seem to really like to go that way.

[A]

Yeah, they're beautiful women and men are usually short, fat, and hairy. Right.

[B]

What it is.

[A]

Any hot Armenian guys? If you could just send us pics at the Historian, his instagram or patreon.com says history, or @christy comedy, if you could DM me hot pics of yourself. If you're a hot Armenian guy, shout

[B]

out to the Armenians. We recognize the Armenian genocide here at

[A]

the History Hyenas now because as always, at the end of every single episode, we like to recognize the newest member of a little place called patreon.com historian. As we like to think about who the funniest names are. We read out every single name, but we pick the funniest names. Now. The last two weeks have been a little bit not as. They've been good, not great. But I'm feeling that we have the positive spirits of 1.5 million massacred Armenians that are gonna help this list be funny. If anything away. The only way that we can remember them here on this show is to have a funny list for them because

[B]

we discriminate against nobody. We are funny first here. We love all people, including Muslims, Armenians, especially your women.

[A]

It's what it is. Yeah.

[B]

The guys, I mean, you know what? I just don't care as much about them.

[A]

No, just they're just hairy and not hot.

[B]

I just don't care. Whatever country you're from, I don't care about the guys as much.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

Chrissy cares about the guy. I don't care about the guys. I don't want to look at you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just want to look at your ladies.

[A]

If you want to ask me where the hottest guys probably live, I'm going to say probably Montenegro and Italy are the hottest guys.

[B]

That's a good call. Yeah, that's a good call. Because Swedish guys.

[A]

Good Swedish guys are hot, too, and they have no fumes.

[B]

Nigerian guys are good looking.

[A]

Yeah, they're jacked. I mean, yeah, I got. If me and jazz ever don't work out long term, I want to have Sub Saharan African wife.

[B]

That's what you want. Yeah.

[A]

Because a lot of them are Christian and they listen. All right, here we go.

[B]

Kyle, I thought you wanted to go Asian for that reason.

[A]

No, but I want. I've been thinking about a lady. I'd like an African wife.

[B]

You do? Yeah. Okay. Robert De Niro.

[A]

Yeah. So what I have to do is. Because she's going to want to have kids. What I have to do is I'll have to stop taking trt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it shrinks your nuts and you become infertile. But. But I. What I can start doing is taking a little thing called hcg which will get my scumback. Yeah. So it'll get me pumping back with my swimmers.

[B]

I figure if I ever had to have a black wife, I'd have to get a penis extender just to get past the cheeks.

[A]

Yeah, it's what it is. Right? Here we go. Kyle Claxton. Then we got Epstein Island Cleaning Service.

[B]

He was going for some. It's just not there, right? It's just not there.

[A]

Steven Nunez. Tucker Carlson is an fm. Then we got the spot on my ham candle with no feeling, AKA my Tinas weenus.

[B]

Okay, going for something.

[A]

Then we got Sandra D. Foot fetish, AKA Camel toes.

[B]

Put them on the list.

[A]

Put them on the list. There we go.

[B]

Put them on the list.

[A]

Camel toes.

[B]

Camel toes. Very funny.

[A]

Yep. Then we got. How's your beam 13?

[B]

How's your beam 13?

[A]

Yeah. How's your beam?

[B]

Okay, I like it. I like it.

[A]

Then we got Asian Caucasian cuisines where two Wongs do make it. White list. That's what it is.

[B]

Bang bang bang. That's a bang bang.

[A]

Then we got lost weight and now my belly flap is a fleshlight. Kid bangs his own belly flat.

[B]

Put him on the list.

[A]

Why not? The fumes in that thing have to be.

[B]

Oh yes.

[A]

Then we got Maximilian Lane, Steven Santos. Tigers belong to woods, not onto Road. Okay. Dr. Quentin Tarantino, M.D. certified podiatrist.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. I want Eileen goo to triple cork 1440 on my face.

[B]

This is a request.

[A]

Yeah, let me. Can I finance the Tim Dillon episode with a 408 credit score?

[B]

We have a new one up, don't we? We do. I think we do. At the fifteen thousand dollar level. Yeah, that's right. And it's a real episode.

[A]

You want to get that?

[B]

Yeah. I mean if some rich guy wants to buy it, go ahead. Actual real episode.

[A]

Patreon, Greg Milner. Mala but bueno. Then we got. I'm like Richard Gere, but my gerbils are applesauce. Okay.

[B]

Putting applesauce in his.

[A]

Yeah, no dings protest. We had that one already though, didn't we? Something similar. Then we got got on my knees and worship Chrissy's peace. So he covered me with the shroud of urban.

[B]

Oh, it's it's good enough for the list? I think so.

[A]

Throw it on there.

[B]

The shroud of urine instead of the shrouded turmoil.

[A]

Yeah, I like it.

[B]

I mean, it's really good. The beginning was a little too much, but it's almost.

[A]

Figure it out.

[B]

It's too good.

[A]

Will never be trusted around my nephew again. For letting him listen to this, sincerely. Thanks for that. Out.

[B]

Big Drexler.

[A]

Drexler. Then we got sniffing seats at the local DES office.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Clayton Herring, James Buchanan's eunuch. AKA Just a straight guy. Seymour Buttes, Queen Laquifa.

[B]

We've had. We've had.

[A]

Yeah. The heavyset ghost of Staten Island. Omar's Head Towels and driveway rugs. LLC, Ladder 14.

[B]

It's a nice chicken figure.

[A]

Driveway rugs.

[B]

It's a chicken figure, Uncle Russ.

[A]

What? It is.

[B]

Get disparage.

[A]

My roof's leaking worse than my dick.

[B]

Okay, That's. That's a chicken figure.

[A]

Lexi Montgomery. Rim to rim, toilet shits. Jim. Okay, Drexler, Hillary Martz. Free Epstein. Easy on the witch hazel. I can't feel my tongue.

[B]

You're not supposed to put it in there. Chicken finger.

[A]

Chris Graves, Justin Goldner. Just a clumsy Frisbee, AKA Whoopsie Goldberg.

[B]

Chicken finger.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You think we go Whoopsie Goldberg? No.

[A]

No. You make the call.

[B]

No, I think it's more of a chicken.

[A]

Your intuition is.

[B]

You think it's going over the wall. Put it on the list. Put them on the list.

[A]

All right.

[B]

We're feeling. We're giving them out today. We feel like. This is Oprah. This is Oprah Episode. Everyone gets one.

[A]

Tyler Bailey, Andrew Aguilera, Muzzy on meth. Call me a rug chaser. Okay. Drexler, Dresden, Mosh Giannis, Stop exposing. O's the magic Frisbee, please. For your safety.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Yeah. Claire Starling. Then we got Jerell Hackett, Yanni Sin Solo. Tug fan. Dean Grau, Kevin Radach, Cody Ames, Bay Ridge girl struck by Jewish lightning once the Dings moved in. Okay. Flaming Frisbee fluffer. Fran Moreno, Byron Jones. At what point is it considered a micro piece asking for a friend?

[B]

Put him on the list. Okay.

[A]

There it is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's actually measuring it out.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Very funny.

[A]

Detonator. AKA Muzzy Cell phone. Undebatable trans. Feels like real. Yeah, Put him on the list. All right. Why not?

[B]

It's not debatable. He's saying he went.

[A]

He figured it out. He saw it's undebatable.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Salvatore Costa. They weren't. They. They weren't oh, they weren't ovens. It was hot yoga.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Erica today caught Yanni slurping on Chrissy's skin tag because he thought it was an extra toe. Okay. Cronky82. Jeff S. Blocking the straight of Hormuz with my ball sack. Eric Fulgerman. Mama Taylor rejoined Patreon. So Chrissy say my name, not high. Okay.

[B]

He probably. So he. That means he joined when you were on the.

[A]

When you were on edibles. Yeah. Arjun Pariwal, Momdani's new whipping pig.

[B]

Wait, that's the Booty Boo Award.

[A]

Yeah. Arjun Puriwal.

[B]

Boody Boody. Booty Boo.

[A]

Momdani's new whipping pig. Help. I missed the truffles. I have cash app and I'm not black. A law mandating child support payments. Call it the Leroy Father Bill. Leroy Father Bill. Yes.

[B]

He went for something interesting. It's interesting. Drexler.

[A]

Sydney Sweeney, please. Chimney sweep my Frisbee meat like a Z.

[B]

Kids got a request. Very funny. Yeah.

[A]

Cold Mexican prison cell. Call it the ice cube. Tired of being robbed by homeless guys.

[B]

Move.

[A]

Yeah. Such a squeak that when my son was born, the doctor handed me to him.

[B]

Put him on the list.

[A]

Very funny.

[B]

Contender. Contender.

[A]

That's very, very funny.

[B]

That is a contender.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Contender.

[A]

It is statistically impossible for there to be no gays in your family,

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

And we got Mike Piazza's squeaky side piece. The Mets would have won in 2000 if he ate more pineapple. Okay, okay. Leroy Jedi, aka Jesus. Walked in a 1:23 and me made me 3/5 the man I used to be.

[B]

Flat 14. What do I do with that? Interesting.

[A]

Smart.

[B]

What do I do with that?

[A]

It's smart. It's layered.

[B]

Nick, you're the.

[A]

You.

[B]

You have the most morals on here. What do I do with this? That it makes it.

[A]

I mean.

[B]

I mean, if you want my honest opinion. It's a contender.

[A]

It's a contender. I believe it. Then we got Anne Frank's meat curtain. Jesus. It's awful.

[B]

It's off. We can't do it. Chicken finger.

[A]

Cameron. We. Chris Pastana, Noah Ross, Dell Simonson. Benny Two Nuts.

[B]

Benny Two Nuts gets a chicken figure.

[A]

Bad line. Then we got adding turnaround and don't wipe. To my inner circle because I'm in the program. An actual seven foot Puerto Rican pro basketball player. Matt Lopez. Screw. Wow, wow, wow.

[B]

Maybe it's him.

[A]

It is him. Yeah. Thank you. Matt Lopez. Frankie Fafumes. Haley. Grandpa was a Frisbee, But I take the host and have a three inch post.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Frisbee, my hairy man.

[B]

Ladder 14. Okay.

[A]

Do a few more. Yeah. Chris Sadavida. JG. Indian dating app. Call it Connect the Dots.

[B]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[A]

List.

[B]

It's gotta go, dude. I mean, we gotta contend. I mean, Jesus Christ, that's good.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, let's just go. We'll finish this.

[B]

Yeah, I think we got too many,

[A]

but we gotta just finish. Chris. Goose stepping on Giannis's polyphemous. Fallen Forks Massage Parlor. T finger Gabby. Wait, you missed one. What?

[B]

Falling Forks Massage Parlor.

[A]

What's that?

[B]

Oh, it's a good one. Fight the noise. Chinese massage parlor. It's hilarious. Chicken flavor. T finger.

[A]

T Finger Gabby. LGBTQ punk band.

[B]

Wait, she ain't Hispanic.

[A]

Hispanic? Cause so I got last night's glue in my hoodie. What it is? I don't get it. Okay, gay Korean Jew named Suck dick Jew. Ladder 14. Chip Skylark yoga on Chrissy's lawn. Now I'm the HOA's most want wanted, right? Eric Rayleigh. Michael Naumanmacher. I hate when they ask for a tip at the dog brothel.

[B]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[A]

Yanni's Kegel eyes.

[B]

Kegel eyes is good. Chicken finger.

[A]

Michael Rudnick. Because my aunt will tell me about the Lakers Nuggets game in 03. Because my aunt won't tell me about the Lakers Nuggets game in 03. I don't get it. Thing.

[B]

Oh, was that 03? Maybe.

[A]

That's crazy. Oh.

[B]

Oh, so he's saying that's his aunt.

[A]

Yeah, it's a good one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Landon Brower. Tom. I don't know the latest lingo since I'm on ep 84 and I have to watch them all in order since I'm. Franks and beans.

[B]

Yeah. It's the best way to catch up if you're new. I mean, just one by one. You got a long library to go through.

[A]

Kirsten. Jose. No fumes. Better as it was 03.

[B]

Wow. Good joke.

[A]

Colt Sarlis. Napoleon Bonaparted Chrissy's ass.

[B]

Okay. That's what he did.

[A]

Tossing salad in the mud kitchen.

[B]

Oh, Jesus.

[A]

Matt Jesse's Tangerine Peel. Yamaka

[B]

Way on ch. You on a list?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, we had like five contestants.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, just. We gotta stop it, but we can't.

[A]

Yeah, Random.

[B]

Okay,

[A]

coming.

[B]

The math does check out. Yeah.

[A]

Sean Jackson, Devin Pember, Chrissy D. Pissy on my knees while Yanni P. Films me. Devin Pember, Rick James, Anthony Carsten, Connor Andrews, Daniel Gallagher. Pop block. And drop it for Sloppy Top from Giannis Pop. Lisa Secom. Alex Bertram. Milk Me. Went to the Glory Hole to get sucked and accidentally got fucked. ChrisSySwetDream Jay the Nigerian Peace, aka the African Booty Catcher.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Chrissy D. Yanni P. Still waiting on my grown up peen. Okay. Kyle. Big Paul's. Frank Garcia. Steven Escobado. And last but not least, Dad's a Leroy. Mom got ding dong dip.

[B]

Ladder 14. It's good.

[A]

Do you want to put on the list?

[B]

Good. What do I do? Nick. It's up to you. We got to go to Nick.

[A]

I thought we had a Ding Dong Ditch before. Maybe we did.

[B]

Yeah, maybe we did. Okay.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Drexler's not gonna win, but, you know.

[A]

Drex.

[B]

Give it a Drexler.

[A]

Okay, so we got. All right, so here we go.

[B]

By the way. These are meanings that are up there. They're so hot. It's hot. Like it. It's like, take.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so let's. Here's the list. Sandra D. Foot fetish, AKA Camel toes.

[B]

We're gonna Drax you. Thanks for playing. You're a legend. But you know Michael Jordan exists.

[A]

Asian, Caucasian cuisines where two Wongs do make it white.

[B]

Any other day. It's unfortunate. You run another list. It could work.

[A]

Lose weight. And now my belly flap is a flashlight.

[B]

It's a really good one. It's again, a dragon Drexler.

[A]

Just a clumsy Frisbee. AKA Whoopsie Goldberg.

[B]

That's a funny one. But, you know, it's just. It's just, you know, any other day,

[A]

got on my knees and worshiped Chrissy's piece. So he covered me with the shroud of urine.

[B]

That is really good to me. But it is also. These are all winners.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But you gotta Drexler them.

[A]

It's the list is what it is.

[B]

Being Clyde Drexler, he's one of the greats.

[A]

Yeah. So then we got undebatable trans cock. Feels like real cock.

[B]

We're gonna Drexler that as well. Well, any other day.

[A]

At what point is it considered a micro piece? Asking for a friend.

[B]

Very good. We're gonna Drex through that as well.

[A]

Okay. Such a squeak that when my son was born, the doctor handed me to him.

[B]

What we're gonna do is we're gonna keep that in the tent.

[A]

What? Okay. Okay. Let's see what it is then. We got 23 in me. Made me three fifths the man I

[B]

used to keep that what it is. Yeah. We're gonna keep it at the Texture

[A]

Heats Up Indian dating app. Call it connect the dots.

[B]

We're keeping that in the tent. Yeah, keep it in the head.

[A]

Then we got Jesse's tangerine pe yama.

[B]

We're keeping that in the tent. We got a four off.

[A]

So we got a four off. Yeah, we got four good ones. So let me read them again. Yeah, let me just read them uninterrupted. Such a squeak that when my son was born, the doctor handed me to him 23andMe made me three fifths the man I used to be. Indian dating app called connect the dots or Jesse's tangerine peel yarmulke.

[B]

Oh, I love them all. For different reasons.

[A]

So. So here's what I'll say just to narrow it down, because we got four. I think such a squeak that when my son was born, the doctor handed me to him is hilarious. But just because we have to be nitpicky. Now, what would have been funnier is if he said such a squeak that when my son was born, the doctor handed me to my wife because he's the baby. Me to him. Doesn't make sense.

[B]

We're nitpicking now.

[A]

We're nitpicking, but we have to. It's still extremely funny, but just to

[B]

be nitpicking, picky, you're as far as straight funny.

[A]

Right.

[B]

He's. He's. He's unfortunately in the wrong era. You.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You just. It's a drexler. I mean, I mean, I liked him because this is the most. He was the least controversial of our picks. But unfortunately, we are married to the funny.

[A]

To me, it's between three different groups. And that. And that's usually comes down to the blacks, the Indians, and the Jews. And it's between. I mean, 23andMe made me three fifths the man I used to be. For the black vote. Yeah. Indian dating app called connect the dots for the brown Muslim vote. Yeah. And then Jesse's tangerine peel yarmulke for the Jew vote.

[B]

Okay, here's the deal. Here's the deal. Yeah. These are all equally funny. I want you to know that these are all home runs. I want you to know that they're home runs for different reasons.

[A]

Right.

[B]

The tangerine peel is inside.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So it's inside. So I give you the, like, attentive fan, real fan award.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But I'm going to say, unfortunately, it's the wrong era for you. You would have won a championship if these other two weren't around.

[A]

Now, if you don't know if you're new to the Show Jesse used to eats a lot of tangerines. So what this fan is saying is that he's taking the peel and putting it on his head because Jesse's half a joke.

[B]

So it's. The funny is off the charts.

[A]

Okay, so that's off the charts.

[B]

Off top the charts. Connect the Dots as a dating site is just hard to beat for the funny.

[A]

It's hard to beat for the funny. The thing that scares me about it though is, is did he take it from somewhere? Has. Has somebody Google right now Indian dating app called Connected Dots. If we don't find it on the Internet at all, I think it's a winner, then I think that's the winner because the three fifths man one is

[B]

hilarious, but it's a little edgy. It's a little edgy, but it's also hilarious.

[A]

Yeah. No, no Indians typically. No. No funny jokes. What do you call an Indian dating site? Let's see, let's see. Click on dad comedy hq. See if it's a dad joke. See, down three. That one. Click on that.

[B]

Yeah, see?

[A]

See, See what it is? Let's see.

[B]

Let's see what he says. Have the second largest penis in the ocean.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When I swimming.

[A]

All right, let's see. What do you get if you stuff

[B]

your hand up a gypsy where she is on her period? What? Your palm is red.

[A]

All right, let's see.

[B]

What do you call an Indian dating site?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Connect. Connect the dots.

[A]

We have.

[B]

We have. We got.

[A]

Got caught. See? Yeah.

[B]

See, because you knew it. Because it was almost too obvious.

[A]

It's too. Not that I thought of it.

[B]

Right. If he did it, it would have. He would have been the guy created it. Yeah.

[A]

So for me though, then that brings us to an interesting point. Do we have to.

[B]

Do we. Do we resurrect the tangerine from the dead like JC?

[A]

Because I think 23 mean made me 3/5. The man I used to be is hilarious. But I just think Jesse's tangerine Pale Yamica also made you laugh the most. And I personally think for this. Let's list. The more inside, the better this gives. This gives, you know, an incentive for the fans to really listen. I think it's very funny.

[B]

I think it's very funny. I think it's funny enough to win. I think three fifths of man. Let me say something right now. You're. You're a borderline. Walked into one. You know, we. I don't know if we can have your name up in lights.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

That's the thing.

[A]

We can enjoy you at the end of the year. You will be in contention for the walk.

[B]

You are in contention for the walk. In and 1. Tony, please make no note, but this one is going to the tangerine eater, Jesse Scutoro.

[A]

Congratulations. Go to History is his back. See your name up in line. So you are today's winner. Jesse's Tangerine Pill. Yamaka patreon.com history is every single Thursday. YouTube.com history new episodes. Let us know what you want to hear. We love you.

[B]

Mountain View Equipment and Sunnyside. Comprend? Mountain view equipment equinta conuna local eco punto com cajoti travahamos latiera mountain view

[A]

equipment contiguan calapasion lesiones.