The Happiest Place on Earth

Summary

Summary of "The Happiest Place on Earth" – History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas

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Introduction

In the February 6, 2025 episode of History Hyenas, titled "The Happiest Place on Earth," comedians Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas delve into an irreverent and humorous exploration of Disney World. Balancing sharp social commentary with personal anecdotes, the hosts offer listeners a blend of laughter and critical insights about one of the world's most iconic entertainment destinations.

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1. Disney World: More Than Meets the Eye

A. The Cult-Like Atmosphere

Chris and Yannis kick off their discussion by examining the pervasive influence of Disney World on American culture and economy. Yannis humorously describes Disney's environment as "cult-like," highlighting the uniformity and overzealous enthusiasm of both employees and visitors.

Yannis Pappas [04:20]: "The cult-like atmosphere at Disney World where everyone's wearing Disney Princess Security."

B. Disney's Economic Dominance

The hosts critique Disney's substantial economic footprint, noting its ownership of major media outlets like ESPN, Hulu, and ABC. Chris emphasizes how Disney's financial power shapes entertainment and consumer behavior.

Chris Distefano [06:14]: "They own everything. They own ESPN, they own Hulu, they own ABC."

C. Personal Experiences and Observations

Yannis shares his recent trip to Disney World, expressing his discomfort with the overwhelming presence of adults in Disney attire and the high-energy environment that often leads to stress for both parents and children.

Yannis Pappas [04:28]: "It's traumatizing to see what this country is composed of."

Chris adds his observations about the exaggerated Disney smiles and the often superficial interactions between staff and guests, underscoring the contrast between Disney's polished facade and the underlying stress it imposes on visitors.

Chris Distefano [05:25]: "Anytime I meet an adult who loves Disney, they got gums and teeth like this. They got little teeth and just big freaking gums."

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2. Personal Life Updates and Anecdotes

A. Settling Down

Chris shares his recent decision to purchase a home in Bedford, New York, signaling a move towards stability and a respite from the chaotic energy associated with events like Disney trips.

Chris Distefano [02:50]: "And I'm proud to say I bought a home in Bedford, New York."

B. Yannis's Disney Trip Reflections

Yannis recounts the challenges of navigating Disney World with a young child, highlighting the disconnect between his expectations and the reality of maintaining composure in such a stimulating environment.

Yannis Pappas [20:08]: "Why? Why are they pushing other mommies and daddies around?"

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3. The Impact of Technology and AI

A. AI's Encroachment on Professions

The conversation shifts to the rise of artificial intelligence and its potential to replace human roles across various industries. Chris expresses concern over AI's ability to mimic human interactions, particularly in creative fields like comedy and animation.

Chris Distefano [43:50]: "AI will probably eventually take over every job but some of them are way further up the line than others."

B. The Future of Creative Work

Yannis and Chris discuss the limitations of AI in replicating genuine human creativity and emotional nuance, acknowledging that while AI can assist, it currently falls short of replacing human ingenuity entirely.

Yannis Pappas [44:24]: "AI comedy hasn't figured it out yet, but they probably will."

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4. Interaction with ChatGPT: A Comedic Experiment

A. Generating a Podcast Segment

In a playful segment, the hosts interact with ChatGPT, prompting the AI to create a History Hyenas podcast segment about Disney. The resulting output blends accurate historical references with absurd and humorous elements, showcasing both the potential and the current limitations of AI-generated content.

Chris Distefano [47:25]: "Disney is a dictatorship in pastels."

B. Satirical Take on Disney's Influence

The AI-generated content sparked a satirical discussion about Disney’s monopolistic tendencies and its pervasive control over entertainment and public perception, which the hosts further embellish with their trademark humor.

Yannis Pappas [47:26]: "It's like a North Korea if Kim Jong Un had a fast pack ass."

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5. Audience Engagement: Creating Hilarious Patreon Names

A. The Pseudo Penis of the Week (PPW) Segment

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to inventing outrageous and humorous names for their Patreon supporters. This segment, filled with edgy and off-color humor, highlights the hosts' improvisational skills and their ability to engage fans with creative wordplay.

Chris Distefano [65:12]: "Penny Mustard Stainless."

B. Highlighting Creativity and Edginess

The names generated, such as "Rock Hard from BlueChew" and "Race Bader Ginsburg," serve as a testament to the hosts' commitment to entertaining their audience through unfiltered and boundary-pushing comedy.

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6. Concluding Remarks and Future Plans

A. Promoting Upcoming Live Shows

Towards the end of the episode, Chris and Yannis tease upcoming live shows, including a significant event at Madison Square Garden slated for September 11, 2025. They encourage listeners to support their Patreon and attend these live performances to continue enjoying their unique blend of history and comedy.

Chris Distefano [89:07]: "History Hyenas is back.com for all the info."

B. Final Thoughts on Disney and Society

The hosts wrap up their critique of Disney World, reinforcing their stance that the experience is more about profit and control than genuine happiness, urging listeners to view Disney with a critical eye.

Yannis Pappas [50:21]: "Why do you think that is? I think it's just patriotism. Or do you think it's just you're too far from New York or do you think it's just, you know, you hate people who aren't American?"

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Notable Quotes

• Chris Distefano [05:58]: "Disney, we've been fed this lie that we need to go to Disney and take our families to Disney. It's not fun for anyone. It's only fun for Disney because they're taking all the money."

• Yannis Pappas [04:20]: "The cult-like atmosphere at Disney World where everyone's wearing Disney Princess Security."

• Chris Distefano [43:50]: "AI will probably eventually take over every job but some of them are way further up the line than others."

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Conclusion

"The Happiest Place on Earth" episode of History Hyenas offers a comedic yet incisive examination of Disney World, intertwined with personal stories and broader societal critiques. Through their sharp wit and candid conversations, Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas provide listeners with both laughter and thoughtful commentary, encouraging a deeper reflection on the influence of large entertainment conglomerates and the evolving role of technology in creative industries.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content segments as per the user's instructions, focusing solely on the substantive discussions and interactions within the episode.

Transcript

[Chris DiStefano]

If you like the words food, football and 40% off, then Instacart has the perfect big game deal for you right now. On the Instacart app, you can get $10 off a $25 order of eligible game day essentials like chips, dips, sips and chicken strips. So what are you waiting for? Free snacks with your order? Because, yeah, Instacart has those too. Fees, taxes and terms apply. Eligible items only, while supplies Last expires on February 9th. Welcome. Welcome to another episode of the History Hyenas. I'm Chris Stefano, aka Chrissy, 50s, hair. With me as always, Giannis Pappas, aka Yanni has a cold.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I have a cold because I was at Disney and I was around a lot of four legged creatures and animals and Americans. And the extra H in hyenas that you pronounce, as the great Ari Shafir said, is for homos.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. So when you hear hyenas, there's an ancient there. That's because of homos.

[Chris DiStefano]

And if Ari ever says that to my face, it's gonna stand for Hitler.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wei Song Xi ying. Just kidding. Yeah, it's just kidding.

[Chris DiStefano]

I'm just kidding. It's just a jokey wokey.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because he would not be able to hide. No, you could not put on a costume. You couldn't do anything. You couldn't blend in. The kid just can't blend in.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, Ari Shafira looks.

[Giannis Pappas]

His face is a star. David.

[Chris DiStefano]

I was gonna say Ari Shafir looks so Jewish. It's actually funny.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Like, when I see him, I just start to laugh.

[Giannis Pappas]

I just see him and I ask for a loan.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

I can't help it. His face just goes, hey, do you want a loan?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, he's got a loan. And today we're going to be talking about Walt Disney, who is not a.

[Giannis Pappas]

Jew and was successful. So it can happen. It's possible.

[Chris DiStefano]

Can happen. But he did hate. He did allegedly not like Jews. And we're going to get to that because before we do any of that, I just want to say that I haven't seen you since the Washington D.C. episode. I haven't seen you in a month. And it started to feel like 2023 again. And I did it like it.

[Giannis Pappas]

20. Yeah, 2023 was last two years ago.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, 2020. It started to feel like 2021 to 2024.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. But we. We talked a. I texted you the whole time.

[Chris DiStefano]

Text messages.

[Giannis Pappas]

I texted you all the time. I kept in touch, you were fine. Yeah. And you just got, you just text me once you said cuz I can't wait for it to be summer so we can stroll every day cuz I want to. And I knew when you said that that you were just not feeling good wherever you were.

[Chris DiStefano]

Cuz I, I, I felt trapped somewhere I felt trapped. And I'm proud to say I bought a home in Bedford, New York.

[Giannis Pappas]

Is it bought?

[Chris DiStefano]

And it's bought cuz it's, I just bought. I just put in an offer. I saw it on Zillow and I said send the offer.

[Giannis Pappas]

Said the offer in.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

At this point I'm pretty convinced that the American economy is the way that it is. Because of Disney.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean I think everyone's experiencing recession because they spend all their money on Disney.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because let me tell you something. Did you go? Are your daughters old enough to go to the bippity Boppity boutique?

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't know about that. But what I do know is there was a bunch of people down there who apparently bought one ticket get in and if they ticketed by weight it was the equivalent of four tickets.

[Chris DiStefano]

Tickets. What it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean there are some big, big, big, big people down there.

[Chris DiStefano]

There's some fatty boom baddies down there. I mean cuz it's like Ozempic didn't hit Orlando yet.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's crazy. Yeah. Sometimes I was like, oh it's shady out. And then I was just standing behind a person. Yeah, they can block the sun. They're like satellites out there, right?

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean some big people, there's some big fatties. And I mean cuz if you want to see where it gets even fatter, combine Disney World and cruises and go on a Disney cruise.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wow.

[Chris DiStefano]

And holy smokes, I don't know how that ship stays above water.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. What I saw this last week was a little disturbing. It was a little traumatizing. I'm a little traumatized from it. It's EDMR worthy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's traumatizing to see what this country is composed of.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

The cult like atmosphere at Disney World where everyone's wearing Disney Princess Security. Security. Princess Security.

[Chris DiStefano]

You're sundowning again.

[Giannis Pappas]

Y You know the Princess Security shirt that the dads wear. I mean it's funny the first time you see it, but then when you start seeing everyone wearing it and then you see grown women wearing Minnie Mouse ears, you start going this is a little culty. And then when you start seeing grown adults stand online to meet the characters who are really fucking undocumented Mexicans, by the way. There was none of those Trump. I mean, all the kids were crying because they're gone.

[Chris DiStefano]

They're out there.

[Giannis Pappas]

Mickey Mouse was not coming to the table because they got catapulted over the wall.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

But when you see a grown adult standing online to meet a 21 year old actor who's aspiring to make it in the business, is starting out at Disney World, is getting paid $15 an hour, who's dressed as fucking Snow White, and a grown up is standing there with a fucking autograph book, you go, these people got leaky roofs.

[Chris DiStefano]

They got leaky roofs.

[Giannis Pappas]

This woman's got a leak in her roof.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. I mean, cuz. And also if you Google this, Jesse, just the adult Disney smile, I guarantee you they had little teeth and big gums.

[Giannis Pappas]

Absolutely.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's the thing. They don't like just big gums and little teeth. Good. The adult Disney smile. Anytime I meet an adult who loves Disney, they got gums and teeth like this. I mean, look at the, look at this. That's what it is. They got little teeth and just big freaking gums.

[Giannis Pappas]

We met. It's bad, dude. It's bad. We met a woman. By the way, the food is atrocious.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's truly bad.

[Giannis Pappas]

I just need to get this out of my system because I had to pretend to be happy for fucking five days for my daughter who half the time was just going, I want to go home.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because even the kids get stressed out. Yeah, the kids get stressed out.

[Giannis Pappas]

Stressful, dude.

[Chris DiStefano]

Disney, Disney. We've been fed this lie that we need to go to Disney and take our families to Disney. It's not fun for anyone. It's only fun for Disney because they're taking all the money. Make a $36 million a day per park.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. It's crazy. They make something like 54, 60 something billion dollars a year.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, they own everything. They own ESPN, they own Hulu, they own ABC.

[Chris DiStefano]

Which I do have a special coming out February 21st.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Called Disney.

[Giannis Pappas]

There's a good chance that you work for Disney and you don't know about it.

[Chris DiStefano]

I do. Well, I actually do know about.

[Giannis Pappas]

You do know about.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. And we're going to change Walt Disney World one day to Nate Bargazi World.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Nateland. Nateland. Nate.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Because that's what he. That's what he's going to Disney kid. He's a Disney kid. It's just, they own, they own the same square footage they own the same amount of land as the land area of San Francisco in Orlando.

[Chris DiStefano]

And probably the only difference is Disney probably has more gays, they probably got more gays.

[Giannis Pappas]

And who knows what's going on underground. They got a whole world underground. Magic Kingdom is actually built on the second level underground labyrinth. A goddamn who knows what.

[Chris DiStefano]

Who knows what. Cuz I'm telling you, when you said you were going to Disney and a month ago and you said I'm going on vacation, I said, no, you're not. That's not a vacation.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuz it's not.

[Chris DiStefano]

You're going to work, you're going to do the. You came back, you have a cold, you're tired. I mean, you still looking cute as a button. But cuz you. I knew for a fact, because I told you to go in with a.

[Giannis Pappas]

Plan, you notice too much what guys look like.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, you just, you pay attention to what a guy looks like.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Cause I mean, I've never looked at.

[Giannis Pappas]

A guy and just been like, he looks cuter. I just don't. I don't pay that much attention to guys. You pay close attention.

[Chris DiStefano]

I went to you're a guy inspector. I went, yes, I'm a guy inspector. I went to an art class a couple of weeks ago with jazz, like where you drink wine and paint. And then they just told us we could freestyle paint. And I just began painting a man's head. I swear I just, I just started outlining just a guy's face.

[Giannis Pappas]

I know the. Is that the one where you paint the wine glass or.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, no, we actually painted. You actually painted like a portrait. They had us do one and then we had some time. So that it's freestyle but you get drinks and food. It was actually pretty nice.

[Giannis Pappas]

You got. That's so cute. Date night.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's a paint and pour. It's called.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, you did it. That's a white night out.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's a white night out.

[Giannis Pappas]

Do you think there's ever been a black couple who say, let's go. Yeah, maid.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes, there has been. Well, what they've done is they've expanded it now because now they have what's called paint and puff. And that's for the blacks where you just paint a little bit and you smoke a little weed. But that one's fun too. And I want to do that. Make absolutely no mistake. I sat next to Andrew Schultz at a Knicks game.

[Giannis Pappas]

I was about to say no.

[Chris DiStefano]

I sat next to Andrew Schultz at a Nick game. And of course the Blacks were noticing him first. But make absolutely zero mistake, we do have more black fans than you know, because a lot of them would say, what's up to Schultz? And take a picture and slap their knee and all that. But then they would look at me and say, you that motherfucker from history. Hyenas.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So it's there.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So they listening and they are watching.

[Giannis Pappas]

Or did they go, wait a second. So you're not Andrew Schultz?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. They couldn't believe it.

[Giannis Pappas]

They're like, oh, yeah, that's Chris the Stephano.

[Chris DiStefano]

I didn't know.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, guy code. Just. They thought you guys were the same person.

[Chris DiStefano]

I didn't know you motherfuckers were twins.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah. They, for some reason, to blacks, I think you and Andrew Schultz look alike.

[Chris DiStefano]

We look alike. I, by the. By the way, shout out. I was at the first time ever in my life saw LeBron James play live. Wow. I mean, that guy's 40 years old and the best athlete on the court. Like, not even close. He's better athlete than all of them. And it was a nice moment because the Knicks started. Knicks fans started cheering. Put in Bronny at the end of the game, LeBron James son. And we could see LeBron James mother. And she was just videoing her son, like, smiling of his, you know, his getting on the court, the Garden. And I was like, that's pretty fucking cute. But now get that kid back to the G League.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's.

[Chris DiStefano]

Cause he's just not good enough. And I paid big money to sit close. And you put this little motherfucker in. So his mom get the video.

[Giannis Pappas]

He's the only guy who got drafted by the Lakers who was, I think, averaging two points a game as a freshman. And he came out as a freshman, which is nice.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's nice.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's usually for the four stars.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's probably, though. Now, is that dei?

[Giannis Pappas]

That's what you call nepotism.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's nepotism.

[Giannis Pappas]

Huge nepotism.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's huge nepotism.

[Chris DiStefano]

Do you think, though, LeBroni. Do you think Bronny, though, might feel bad? Like, would you feel bad if you were him? Like, would you feel, like, awkward, Like, I'm not supposed to be here?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, well, I don't know. I don't know.

[Chris DiStefano]

I would.

[Giannis Pappas]

Let's call him up. Yeah, I mean, yeah, he's got to know, right? Some level, he's got to know, but I think he's been raised well. I mean, LeBron seems like a really good dad. I think he's just.

[Chris DiStefano]

LeBron does seem like a good dad.

[Giannis Pappas]

Answered him real well. I think he's media trained him real well. You know, LeBron is so media trained.

[Chris DiStefano]

LeBron is a very, very, very good father. You could tell. And he's also one of the best basketball players I've ever seen. And if there's only a slight Criticism of LeBron James is that he works for China. Just he's a Chinese citizen. That's the only issue.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, is.

[Chris DiStefano]

But other than that, if he was American, LeBron, he'd be my favorite player. But he does represent the Chinese well.

[Giannis Pappas]

Not to throw it back to an old episode, which I thought was a great episode. And if you haven't listened to it, go check it out about cloning. But we did bring up on that episode that LeBron James is probably a clone because where's his dad? Where Shaq's dad? Where is Yao Ming's parents?

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

So when you're talking about a multi billion dollar business, you're just going to want to get in the lab and create some specimens that can be sort of the face of your league. And if there's a way that a guy could be 6 8, 69 and run like that and keep playing when he's 40 and be as media trained as he is and never say anything wrong. And you know. Well, I guess some people thinks he's. I mean, he got in some trouble.

[Chris DiStefano]

He got in some trouble.

[Giannis Pappas]

He was a little wokeish for some.

[Chris DiStefano]

He was defending China when over Taiwan. And that's just. He.

[Giannis Pappas]

Did he ever outwardly say it?

[Chris DiStefano]

He just said, yeah, I mean he said. And then John Cena went and spoke full blown Chinese.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, I just. Yeah, I remember that part. You almost funny, you did a little. Eli. Yeah, I just saw one of those. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, you saw one of those. And I tried to catch it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Have you ever seen the John Cena thing?

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean he's speaking full blown.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's one of the funniest.

[Chris DiStefano]

Here's the thing about John Cena. I know he's a professional wrestler. I know he's jacked. I know he's John Cena. But after I saw that video of what how cucked he is, I'm very confident I could beat the shit out of John Cena.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

After just seeing that, I'm like, all right now, now, you know, it's like when Russia popped off and can't even beat Ukraine. I'm like, we now we know we could destroy you. That's how I feel about John Cena.

[Giannis Pappas]

But let me ask you this question. If you were in like a massive production and you mistakenly called Taiwan another country or something like that, and China, which is where movies make their money now, they don't make them here, they make them over there. And the studio had called you, Chris DiStefano, as the head and said, you're going to have to learn Chinese, you're going to have to learn Mandarin in a week and you're going to have to make an apology or else we're taking this 30 mil back.

[Chris DiStefano]

Back.

[Giannis Pappas]

How quickly are you going for those classes in Chinatown?

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, I would say, to be honest with you, cuz I would say, you know what, you keep the money because I live within my means and I now live in Bedford, New York and I bought a house with a good tax rate and I, I don't need your money. I'm living a happy free life because I'm living within my means and I did not buy the fucking house on Staten Island. I'm living comfortably in Armon.

[Giannis Pappas]

So you do not need to work for the Chinese.

[Chris DiStefano]

Do not. Because I live comfortably in Bedford Corners. That's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Here's a picture of John Cedar, which is very funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Make no mistake. Pat Patty the fatty Pat sama looks like he's waiting on line at Disney.

[Giannis Pappas]

He actually does look like a Disney dad.

[Chris DiStefano]

Disney dad.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, dude, with the gates open up in the morning so everyone gets there at like 7am yeah, it's like boot camp. I know you're pushing strollers, you're carrying backpacks. You feel like civil war soldiers marching through the land. And then when the doors open up, you just fucking storm. You storm the beaches of Normandy, right? Like instead of soldiers, it's just full grown women. Fucking Mickey ears on.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And people who are £400 in sandals and socks and they go for it and they just attack the ride.

[Chris DiStefano]

Let me ask you this, out of how many though, if you saw. Let's, let's, let's call it. Let's make it a nice round number. If you saw, just walking through your vision over the course of five days at Disney, five days at Disney, let's say you saw 10,000 people, how many would you consider were actually over like a 5 out of 10? How many I'm going to talk about, like, could you at least get a six in there?

[Giannis Pappas]

Surprisingly, my first day at Magic Kingdom, I literally was like, I'm the best looking guy at this place.

[Chris DiStefano]

And you are.

[Giannis Pappas]

And that's Never happened, right? That's never happened. Where I've looked around going, I'm the best looking guy here. I was looking all day and I was like, I'm the best looking person, I think, male or female on the first day Epcot, you start to get a couple of milfs, right? You get to start to get a couple cuties. Some of the hotels, like the Floridian, you get a little higher, it gets a little higher class. But I would say Magic Kingdom is the ghetto, right. I would say Hollywood Studios is the middle class. And then I would say Epcot center is where the privileged people walk around. It's a little more privileged.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. You have a beard. Did you have a beer? In every country like I told you.

[Giannis Pappas]

I had a beard. I had to get through it. I had to get through it with nicotine pouches. I had to get through it with my phone.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I had to get through it with my phone.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I had to get through it with a couple cold brews.

[Chris DiStefano]

You had to get a couple of cold brews now, how now did you. And you did not argue with your wife, though, which is surprising.

[Giannis Pappas]

I did. No, we did not.

[Chris DiStefano]

Just because most couples argue.

[Giannis Pappas]

No.

[Chris DiStefano]

At Disney, but that's. You got a strong relationship.

[Giannis Pappas]

Few times I said, put your fucking phone away.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

When it's 8:00 and she's walking around checking to see if there's any lightning rounds open.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I said, just put your fucking phone away. Yeah, put it away. We're getting on the fucking monorail. That's what else just going to be a murder at Disney and they're going to take us underground and they will not declare you dead until they get to the hospital, because make no mistake, Disney does that. Because they don't want anyone dying on their property because it's the happiest place on earth.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's. And that is a truth. Bader Ginsburg. Folks, what Giannis just told you, if you die at Disney, you will not be declared dead at Disney. They emergency get, you know, service, ambulance or helicopter out of there and then you, even if you are dead, is dead. I mean, if you get decapitated on roller coaster, your heart's still beating until you get off that Disney property. And then you could drop dead at the gas station on the outskirts of Orlando.

[Giannis Pappas]

They don't care as long as it doesn't.

[Chris DiStefano]

Nobody dies at Disney. And that's a truth. Bader Ginsburg. And it's a little scary. And Walt Disney did not like Jews. And the reason why I'm saying he did not like Jews is because there is some speculation about him being an anti Semite. And I say, well, he was an anti Semite because you know what? He was obsessed with trains. He loved trains. So if the kid loved trains, if you were a white man that loved trains in the 1920s, you hated Jews.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuz, would you like to play a. Would you like to play a practical joke with me? Yes. What we need to do, you know a couple of guys.

[Chris DiStefano]

Are you an impractical joker?

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm an impractical joker. That's your other podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know, do you know any MTA workers? Because I know you grew up with a lot.

[Chris DiStefano]

Do I know any mta? Yeah, I mean, do you mean, do I live with any MTA workers?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. No, but I mean, you got friends who MTA workers?

[Chris DiStefano]

Because I got friends in every single civil service in this goddamn city. So if you need a service done, you tell me. I mean, I got. I have a whole group chat. I'm just FDA workers.

[Giannis Pappas]

So what we do, Cuz we asked that guy if one day we could do a kamikaze on the train, the New York City transit. Right. So and then I become the conductor. Right. And you go around taking tickets. Right. And we just put on Hugo Boss uniforms. Yeah. And when we get there, I'll just go. We'll wait to see some yams, wait to see some frisbees get on.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And then I'll just go. Stand clear of the closing doors.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Next stop, Warsaw, Poland. And we just keep going and see what they do. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

And we'll film it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Every caviar. The officers will be moving through the train. Please have your passports and papers ready. And then you just come through the side.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know what I mean? Wearing the big butt.

[Chris DiStefano]

Chrissy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Just wearing the uniform that you already bought on Amazon.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And we just. We see if we can just cause panic attacks because do you remember when.

[Chris DiStefano]

I actually, for real, did that as not even a goof? I did it for real. I bought an SS outfit on Amazon.

[Giannis Pappas]

I do remember.

[Chris DiStefano]

Just for a goof. And then I wore it one day and didn't tell you. We just went and got pizza in Bay Ridge.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Cuz do you think, is that wild? It is very funny. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

It was just a goof. It didn't say Nazi swastika.

[Giannis Pappas]

We just had boots on with a long coat.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now you look like an officer.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

You didn't look like a infantry. You look like an officer.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. I look like an officer, but I was just doing it for a goof.

[Giannis Pappas]

You doing it for a goof. Which is a weird goof to do. Not on Halloween.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, and. But in the middle of summer.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, it was. It was a little mishap that Prince Harry did once and he made the papers.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's what it is. You get close, but thank God, cuz I'm not a prince in England. I'm a prince of Ridgewood.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're a prince of Ridgewood, Queens. What you are, you're goodwill hunting. And do you think that any train would service would hire a guy with a German accent or.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, they would not.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's the one accent you don't want to hear coming through the loud.

[Chris DiStefano]

I think even trains in Germany, they don't do that. They just have that Siri voice. They just have a robot AI.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's probably true. Like they're probably not even a German accent on there.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, you can't do that.

[Giannis Pappas]

You can't be on a train and announce anything in German.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, you can't.

[Giannis Pappas]

You can't do it.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, we took a train through Germany. Do you remember when we took a train to Austria in the Alps. And then I saw the Alps in the sun shining and the teardrop from my eye.

[Giannis Pappas]

I do.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is, guys.

[Giannis Pappas]

How funny would that be though? We would slowly escalate it. We'd be like, stan clears the closing doors. And they'd be. They'd look around and go, whoa, was that a German?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Weird. It's New York.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And then it'll be fine. All right. And then you appear and you just stand there.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

And then the next one is next up, Voss our next job, Auschwitz and send it. It just escalates.

[Chris DiStefano]

And it's just a goof.

[Giannis Pappas]

And it's just a goof.

[Chris DiStefano]

And we just say we'll go to.

[Giannis Pappas]

Prison, we'll get arrested.

[Chris DiStefano]

I'm gonna say we're getting arrested. Getting thrown into the car saying, it's just a goof.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's just a goof.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, we're going for lad 14.

[Giannis Pappas]

It was a character piece. That's all it was.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah, that'd be funny if you and I got arrested for that. And then the cops taking us to the precinct were like Ladder 14.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, let it. Let him go. It's just a character piece. It wasn't real.

[Chris DiStefano]

Now, cuz, let me ask you, so how did you do this in Disney? Because. Because let's, let's put. Let's put you through it. So you are there. Your children are what, three and one? Isn't that that rough age?

[Giannis Pappas]

Only there with one child. What, four?

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh, the baby wasn't there?

[Giannis Pappas]

No, no. Oh, it could have been much worse.

[Chris DiStefano]

See, that's what I was. That's why when I was envisioning what you were going through, I thought you had your 3 year old and the baby.

[Giannis Pappas]

My baby was confused because she was in the stroller.

[Chris DiStefano]

She's four.

[Giannis Pappas]

She's Tyler. And she was looking at other adults in strollers. She was going, what's going on?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Why? Why? Why are they pushing other mommies and daddies around?

[Chris DiStefano]

That's a big bang.

[Giannis Pappas]

And I had to explain, like, some people are very irresponsible with their diet.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yep.

[Giannis Pappas]

And this country's food is bad. And RFK Jr is gonna fix all that, sweetheart.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Rfk. Somebody said the other day, I forgot, not the comic that set up, but it was a black comic. It was funny. And somebody said, I was listening to them, and they go. They go, yeah, I ain't rfk. I'm trusting that. He sound like he talking to a massage chair. I thought that was funny. To talk into a massage chair is a funny observation. Yeah. So. So, okay, so with one kid. So one kid is controllable. What would you do when that kid. When. When your daughter fell asleep, when it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Was nap time, we put her in the stroller.

[Chris DiStefano]

And then you were just. You and Brittany would just have strolling.

[Giannis Pappas]

Time, walking around, sleep that much? Because we were always. You know how it is. You're always off to the next ride. Off to the next ride on Slinky Dog Dash. She went Slinky Dog Dash. Mistake. It was. It was too scary for her.

[Chris DiStefano]

See, I loved it. That was an hour and a half wait for us. But did you get lightning?

[Giannis Pappas]

Lightning passes. Yeah. So I got. I don't even know what the price tag is.

[Chris DiStefano]

Spend 20 grand. It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Don't know what it is. That I don't want to know.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't want to know. We had to cancel it twice for the weather. And so every time we canceled it and we went again, we got an increase in price. So it's just. I don't want to know about it. And you know, there are alligators in those waters. And what kid did get snatched up at 2 years old? That's what happens in Florida.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. You can't go by the water. But here's the good News for you. At least your plane didn't crash because just everybody's planes just been crashing.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. What is going on?

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean the fucking plane crashed in D.C. with the Blackhawk helicopter. I'm confused.

[Giannis Pappas]

Was the pilot of the helicopter named dei? No, because Trump said it was dei's fault.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean it's very wild that Trump said it was D I s fault and then he blamed it on Obama and that made me laugh out loud. I was laughing out loud.

[Giannis Pappas]

But kid is really good at fucking pointing the finger.

[Chris DiStefano]

But there was a woman pilot. But that's not. Do women count as dei?

[Giannis Pappas]

Abso fucking lutely.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, they do. So then he's not all wrong.

[Giannis Pappas]

Was she the pilot?

[Chris DiStefano]

I dad, I. Was she actually the pilot?

[Giannis Pappas]

She was a pilot.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh shit. So he knew that.

[Giannis Pappas]

So.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because Trump would have said I knew that. Trump, here's the thing. Yes. He comes out, he goes crazy. But I was like, he's not going to say DEI like it's common sense if he didn't have some inside info.

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't mind women putting.

[Chris DiStefano]

That is fine.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's fine. But like can we get them like a smaller plane? You know something?

[Chris DiStefano]

No, I'm just saying like an NBA like a WNBA ball.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, like a little ball or something like that. Or slower, like let them, you know, can they fly like.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yep.

[Giannis Pappas]

You know?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yep.

[Giannis Pappas]

Shorter distances, smaller planes.

[Chris DiStefano]

I agree.

[Giannis Pappas]

Things like that.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean how did this helicopter hit the plane? Do we know? I know that this happened a week ago, but I've seen you.

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't know.

[Chris DiStefano]

But how did it hit the frickin plane?

[Giannis Pappas]

It didn't see it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, but how could you not see it? It's a. I don't know.

[Giannis Pappas]

But the problem was, and that's the thing about Walt Disney, cuz is he didn't like ladies. Yeah, that's the thing I don't know about the Jews. There is some people who say that the Jews things completely unfound.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, he hired a lot of Jewish.

[Giannis Pappas]

People, but he did like trains. And that is a big hint.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's a yes, that's a big hint. That's.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, but there's, you know, the thing is they say he froze his head, they say hated Jews, but there's actually no hard evidence of that beyond the train.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, that's it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's about it.

[Chris DiStefano]

The kid got cremated and his ashes got spread over LA like it's a wildfire.

[Giannis Pappas]

And he probably, he was in business. So at some point he probably said of course guys, but you know, who hasn't said?

[Chris DiStefano]

Who hasn't?

[Giannis Pappas]

But that's who hasn't said.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean. I mean, my mother said it on the call at my PR last week.

[Giannis Pappas]

It just. That's what said. When you're in business, at some point you're gonna go, this.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's just what it is. Jewish people say it about themselves sometimes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. They said they'll say it. They'll be like, this guy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's just what it is. And that's okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's okay. But women he did not like, and he did not hire any female animators because he said, quote unquote, and I'm paraphrasing, he said, at a certain point, we're an emergency. We're in a crunch. We got to get these cartoons done. And they get pregnant or they get emotional, and he's just like, we don't need that. Okay, you don't need that. And you know, who knows what happened with this pilot, right? She's a woman, so who knows? Yeah, she got a text.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

She looked through her boyfriend's phone. She's a little upset. Did we even find out if there was a guy on the plane from coming on American Airlines who she was in a relationship with?

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what I'm saying.

[Giannis Pappas]

Possible.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's all. Possible.

[Giannis Pappas]

Crashed into it to kill the guy.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's true.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

And then we had a private plane crash in Philadelphia. Another horrible thing. So I just don't know. And then. And then a wing set on fire at the airport two days ago because.

[Giannis Pappas]

The wing was hired by dei.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is. It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean. Cuz it just doesn't feel safe to do anything other than live in Westchester right now.

[Giannis Pappas]

Things are a little dicey out there now.

[Chris DiStefano]

They're a little dicey.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. And even I did the cross when I got on the plane. I went, all right, let's just fucking give it a.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, I could imagine. I mean, I haven't been on a plane in a couple weeks, but I can imagine since these accidents, people are like. Because you always.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because there was figure skaters on the plane. What if it was Tanya Harding that did it?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it could have been.

[Giannis Pappas]

It could have been. It could have been Tanya Harding who did it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Could have been Tanya fucking Harding. Harding got a standing ovation at the Emmys.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

A couple years ago.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Oh, but the Grammys were yesterday.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. That's the thing is, like, this country, you could do something awful or whatever, but as long as it's entertaining. You will become a star. We will make movies and documentaries about you. So if you're gonna do a crime, make it fun, just make it entertain. Like, just don't be boring about it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right? Yeah, right. I mean, you know, I feel like even Diddy, I mean, Diddy, you know, I just really believe he's gonna get out.

[Giannis Pappas]

You think so?

[Chris DiStefano]

I just think the kid's gonna get out.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're hoping because of what he knows about you and you don't want him to squeal.

[Chris DiStefano]

You don't want him to squeal. Yeah, I'm just hoping that he gets out. It'd be funny to watch some of the comedians that were talking shit about him. And then Diddy just shows up at your door.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, he shows up at your door and takes you out. So I'm a regular user of Lucy and I love you. I love nicotine and Lucy is delicious. Espresso's my favorite flavor. And let me tell you about Lucy. It's 100% pure nicotine. Always tobacco free.

[Chris DiStefano]

Cause what you need to do is set yourself up with a subscription and have Lucy delivered straight to your door. But I'm sure you do that already.

[Giannis Pappas]

I do do that and well, you know, they sent us much free. So I haven't even gotten to that yet, but I will. I just I consuming Lucy. I mean, they sent us so much. Thank you.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, because we're gonna start handing out the Lucy to people on the streets.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. This is the great thing. I hate going to the store to have to get my nicotine pouches. With Lucy, you just get on a subscription and they just come to you, which is great. And the flavors are delicious. They got the breakers, which are extra flavor. You can crack them and they extra flavor in your mouth. They last for a long time. I love them 8 milligrams, so it gives you a nice little pop. They got different milligram levels, but they got the eight. I'm an eight milligram type of guy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because, let's be honest. Cause we're just a couple of married kids. The only thing we're allowed to crack open, other than our wives, is a Lucy.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a Lucy.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's the only thing. Cause you gotta crack it open and just let that nicotine flow. Let's level up your nicotine routine with Lucy. Go to Lucy Co hyenas. That's H Y E N A S and use promo code hyenas H Y E N A s to get 20% off your first order. Lucy has a 30 day refund policy if you change your mind.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

[Chris DiStefano]

And again, that's Lucy co and use code hyenas to get 20% off Bluechew.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah. Stay rock hard baby.

[Chris DiStefano]

You gotta be frickin rock hard. That's why I like to wear. What I've been doing lately is I like to wear nice thin pants because I just rock off of bluechew at all times. Cuz I'm walking in everywhere. I mean the other day I was getting up, I got up out of bed and the light turned on and then I sat down, the light turned off. I said what the hell is my house possessed? But it was. I was rock hard from a bluechew and I was just hitting the light switch.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah. And actually somebody with that in their name. You'll learn about it in a second when you keep watching this episode.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is, cuz.

[Giannis Pappas]

Very funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

And the thing that I love about BlueChew is it's made right here in the United States. It's like taking little freedom boner pills.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's right.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what I like.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's right. Made in the USA is very important. You don't want to get your bonus from China.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. And by the way, they're not pills. I made a. I made a boo boo. You chew them, you chew them, you chew them. So this is a chewable tablet made right here in the usa. They are erection enhancing tablets. They help men achieve stronger, harder and longer and longer lasting erections for sexual activities. Because even if you're not having sex, you want to just walk around with a boner.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. The process is simple. Sign [e-mail], consult with one of their licensed medical providers and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days.

[Chris DiStefano]

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[Giannis Pappas]

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[Chris DiStefano]

Wow.

[Giannis Pappas]

They will give you Blue Chew free for the first month. All you got to do is visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluechew for sponsoring the history hyenas Wait, so, Cuz. Yeah, Disney.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay, so you went to. You went.

[Giannis Pappas]

You've been there, too.

[Chris DiStefano]

I've been there. I've been there multiple times. I told you, last time I went there, I had chlamydia. Yes, we spoke about that. Yeah. I picked up my erythromycin.

[Giannis Pappas]

I went off campus to get your pre meds.

[Chris DiStefano]

I had to go off campus. I was at CBS in the outskirts of Orlando, and I picked up my azithromycin with goofy ears on. So it's what it is. And I forgot shout out. Dr. Luke, who's the resident physician, called one in for me.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's nice to have a friend who's a doc who can just sort of, you know, just right off the cuff.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Just. You could call one in. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's nice.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it was nice.

[Giannis Pappas]

You didn't have to go through a whole rigam and roll.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

No embarrassment.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, no. I just text the kid.

[Giannis Pappas]

You just texted him? He went, okay, again.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's easy.

[Giannis Pappas]

He went, boom. Okay, I'll send it.

[Chris DiStefano]

He was.

[Giannis Pappas]

Where are you now? Last time I was sending it to North Carolina.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. When I was. When I was actually really like. Like at the top, you know, going wild in 2019. That's when I went. When I was just all out of fucking control. He actually suggested a little a type of male birth control for me. And he said, what I'd like to do is just give you a monthly prescription of azithromycin just in case.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

And you just pop these puppies until you can calm it down. Yeah, yeah. He was like. So it's almost like a male version. It's almost like a version of prep where it's like we just assume something's going on, so we're just gonna knock it right out and you'll have a little diarrhea. But this is the trade off.

[Giannis Pappas]

You ever think about getting a condom sewn onto your dick?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Yeah. It's called my foreskin that I want back.

[Giannis Pappas]

Would it be great if they could just sew a condom on some guy's dick? So it's just like. You don't have to keep.

[Chris DiStefano]

I'm sure. Well, how do you pee the environment? Oh, you just fucking. It's like a.

[Giannis Pappas]

You can unzip it.

[Chris DiStefano]

You unzip it. Yeah, I actually think that's a good idea.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, I would. If I could do it over again, I would have kept the foreskin. Yeah. And then you just make a. You just Make a little hood. Yeah, that's it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. The. For. Well, the good thing about the foreskin is it gives you an extra inch.

[Chris DiStefano]

It does give you an extra.

[Giannis Pappas]

When you throw the ruler on it, it gives you an extra inch.

[Chris DiStefano]

It does give you.

[Giannis Pappas]

Is nice. But I start measuring from the back of the balls.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's true.

[Giannis Pappas]

Because it's all part of the same package.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I go from taint to tip.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. It's nice to have the. The. The clan hood because it protects the nerves.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, I'm chafed down now.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's chafed down. And also too, it would have been nice to have a foreskin because then if you run through a little hpv, you get a few warts. You can just take the foreskin off and then they're gone.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah. If they're there.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, that's another one. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. These kids nowadays, they got a vaccine for I.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because let's make no mistake, I went to Florence. I. We haven't spoken since then. We haven't done it. Went to Florence?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. You went to Florence. Me and you were in different cultural places. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

You were in Disney. I was in Florence and I saw a lot. I mean, a lot.

[Giannis Pappas]

Well, I went to fake Italy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh, true.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, I was in Epcot. Yeah, I was in Epcot. It's kind of like Vegas for kids.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah. You're eating garlic sticks.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So I. So I saw a lot of sculpted, uncircumcised penis in Florence. I mean, everywhere you look, there's a lot. I mean, just a lot of penis. And I was thinking if they sculpted that people today, you would have to just throw a couple of warts on those. Right. Like Michelangelo would have had to just make just a cup just for accuracy. Just a couple of.

[Giannis Pappas]

Just warts and no bushes. Everyone's shaved down now.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, but. But they had nice bushes back then. And I. I mean, you have to think a kid like Michelangelo and other gay kids of his time, after they made a nice little cock, they had to give a little kiss. No, I think what he was telling.

[Giannis Pappas]

You, I think they puckered a little bit. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Magnifico.

[Giannis Pappas]

I think that's how they finished it.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's how they finished it was good. But Florence is beautiful. It's amazing. Three days is enough there.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

I really enjoyed it. It was three day trip. I think Jesse would have absolutely loved it because the kid's a sculptor. Yeah. And what people don't talk about. Enough, Jesse. And you'll appreciate this is if Google. Google my statue of David from behind. I mean, the kid had a wagon. David's ass was one of the nicest. I mean, if it had a fucking butterfly tattoo on the cheek, I would have fucked it at the museum. I mean. Cause you put a Puerto Rican flag on that ass cheek, I'm in. I mean, look at that ass. Cause get in there.

[Giannis Pappas]

The real David is not in Florence, though.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's in Florence.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's in the Ufisi Gallery in Florence. We went in.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, you can't get close to it, though, right?

[Chris DiStefano]

No. Yes, you can get. You get right up to it. Obviously, you know, there's a little barrier. But, like, we saw da Vinci's paintings. They're all behind glass. But David, you can. You can't touch it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Got a real nice ass.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, the way Michelangelo made that ass was kind of insane. And people don't talk about it because you always get sucked in by the dick and the balls.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

And just, you know, Dave, because he's 17ft, but, I mean, the ass was crazy. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, he does have a nice. The ass was crazy.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, I banged Jazz later that night. I was thinking about David's ass. Yeah. Because it's just. It's just like. But it is. When you get up close and personal to these art sculptures, you really are like humans. Maybe they were just, like, less distracted back then, but it seems like they had more talent, even though we have more technology. Cause some sculptors were saying, like, even today, that would be difficult to recreate unless you did, like, a 3D. Like, they could do it, but to do it, what Michelangelo used to do, is not do any sketches. He would just carve it from one piece of stone. So he wasn't tracing anything. He was just doing this freehand.

[Giannis Pappas]

Is that true? Would this be hard to create? Right. Recreate.

[C]

Jesse knows all about art 100%. I mean, this is impossible. Not only that, the way it was designed, it was designed to be on top of a building. So he kind of carved it in perspective, so.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh.

[Giannis Pappas]

So when you're looking up.

[C]

So it's incredible what he did. He. He carved in a technique called the bathtub method, where he would start with the hand and then just work his way backwards. So the whole body is just unfolding through this.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[C]

Block of marble. It's incredible, dude.

[Chris DiStefano]

Three years took genius.

[C]

Genius.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like an incredible amount of.

[Chris DiStefano]

So do you think Jesse, do you agree with that? Artists today just don't have that technique that they had back then.

[C]

It. Well, it is a technique, and people have learned it and kept it alive over the years. It's just. It's not really necessary anymore. People don't use sculpture that much. There's not that many applications for sculpture.

[Chris DiStefano]

Like, how would you make a sculpture like this today?

[C]

No, you'd scan it and fucking have a machine make it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, right. That's what it was. Yeah. Humans wouldn't do it. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Nobody would take the time to do this.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean. Yeah, it took him three years, they said. He locked himself basically in wherever he did it, like in the back of a church. And he just. He would have candles on his hat. He would just do it through the night. All his peers said he smelled like shit. He was like. He had borderline autism, they said. And. But it was to see it up close, to see this one. But then there's. It's. It's interesting because, like, every statue is just of a man with his piece out, ripped and small. Dainty penis was in back then. And then any statue with a woman, she's either getting beheaded or raped, and it's just what it is. That's every statue a piece of art. So I don't know why.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, I mean, you know, the strength that men had over women was just. Has been unfair throughout history.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's been unfair. Yeah, that's. That's been the. That's been the thing.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right?

[Giannis Pappas]

Guys have been not cool to chicks. Yeah, we haven't been cool. We haven't allowed them to grow.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

And. And to be as big as we are. I think now, in the future, they may grow and evolve to be as big as we are. And I welcome that.

[Chris DiStefano]

I welcome that.

[Giannis Pappas]

I welcome that as well.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, some of the women are already growing to be as big as we are. It's just. They have penises.

[Giannis Pappas]

Some of them do.

[Chris DiStefano]

And that's just what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

And that's what.

[Chris DiStefano]

And that's okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Proves my point.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's okay. And I was watching Pornhub today, and we'll talk about it at patreon.com history hyenas already in the.

[Giannis Pappas]

The morning. You were snapped.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, I snapped it up and I took a screenshot of it because it was just. It was just a chick with a dick just popped up, and it's what it is. And it did stop.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

I'm not saying I liked it, but I'm just saying I Didn't stop.

[Giannis Pappas]

You didn't stop. It's there to be seen.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, and we'll talk about that on the Patreon.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, we'll talk about that on the Patreon. And listen, you know, it's. You look throughout history, I just. It's what if it. Look, if it walks like a duck, it quacks like a duck. Sometimes it's not a duck, but you can, you can definitely consider it a duck. It's what it is. Yeah, it depends on how you look at it. Yeah, it walks like a duck, it quacks like a duck. It's a duck with a penis.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what. It's one of the penis. And it's a duck that's getting fucked.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's a duck that's getting fucked.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what it is. But. But yeah, Florence, the food I had. I went to this place called La Giostra. I had the best ravioli I've ever had in my life. Because it was. It was a pecorino cheese pear ravioli.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wow, that's classy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it was awesome.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's classy.

[Chris DiStefano]

It was nice, nice, nice. And then we really, you know, we had a great time. We.

[Giannis Pappas]

Three days is not a lot in Florence.

[Chris DiStefano]

And here's the mistake I made. And here's some friendly advice. If anyone's looking to travel to Europe, I took from jfk, we have to fly to Paris and then take a layover and then go to Florence. But the mistake that I made, cuz is I left. I took a 4:30pm flight from New York City. So I got to Florence. By the time I got to Florence, it was like 10am But I should have taken a 10.30pm flight from New York City because then you will sleep on the plane. The problem is it's only seven hours to Paris. So by the time you're starting to get tired, 10:30 in your brain, you're landing and then you can't sleep. So the jet lag for us was what we made, like a huge mistake.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right. For only three days. That's tough because it takes two days for the jet lag. So you didn't know where you were. But it is nice to walk around Florence feeling a little dreamy, tired. It was a little rainy there, which is what you like. I saw the pictures.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it was raining, it was nice. And we saw the. We saw the.

[Giannis Pappas]

I think of the Duomo.

[Chris DiStefano]

The cause big. The Duomo was big. And it was beautiful and it was insane that it took like 200 years to build. Yeah. We didn't go inside, but we went outside of it. We went up into a bell tower and all that. And I thought that it was. I thought that it was really, really, really, like a beautiful, fascinating place. But if I'm just being perfectly, 100% honest with you.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

If it's not American history, I just don't really care.

[Giannis Pappas]

You just weren't.

[Chris DiStefano]

I'm trying to get myself into Greek history and Italian history and Chinese history, and I can't.

[Giannis Pappas]

You just.

[Chris DiStefano]

I just want to be in America. So I. Every time somebody would say Florence reminds me of Boston, I would say that I just want to go back to Boston.

[Giannis Pappas]

You'd rather be in Boston?

[Chris DiStefano]

I'd rather be in Boston and be like, these streets feel like Italy, but thank God I'm in America and not in Italy.

[Giannis Pappas]

And why do you think that is? I think it's just patriotism. Or do you think it's just you're too far from New York or do you think it's just, you know, you hate people who aren't American?

[Chris DiStefano]

I think.

[Giannis Pappas]

I think it's all of the above.

[Chris DiStefano]

I think it's a combo of all three. I just think that America's number one right now, and we have been, and it's. And it's just. I don't really care about someone that was a big deal for in the 1400s.

[Giannis Pappas]

You just don't.

[Chris DiStefano]

I just don't really. I just don't care.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right.

[Chris DiStefano]

I care about what it is now. And I just think I'm connected in a way. I do believe wholeheartedly, truly believe that I was killed in the Revolutionary War.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

I believe that my spirit and I've just been on the Wheel of Death.

[Giannis Pappas]

You got what they call leaky roof right now.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

You got a leak in the roof?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I got to call a roofer.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, you got to call a roof. I got. I got a group chat for roofer.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Because you talking crazy. You think you were killed in Revolutionary War? I think I was.

[Chris DiStefano]

I probably was.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

But I. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. So you think you have a previous life?

[Chris DiStefano]

I definitely started to run a little.

[Giannis Pappas]

Too wild with your mix of reality and imagination. Yeah. Because I'm starting to believe you think this is true.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Cuz.

[Giannis Pappas]

Were you in the Revolutionary War?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes. And I'm on something called the Wheel of Death right now, where you just keep dying and getting reborn, but you're on a wheel, and the only way to get it out is to think happy thoughts and have the positive vibrations break through. That's the only way.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuz.

[Chris DiStefano]

And Christian needs to make better clips.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cause and we haven't been paid yet from the stand.

[Chris DiStefano]

Even though they lost our audio.

[Giannis Pappas]

Where's our.

[Chris DiStefano]

Where's the money?

[Giannis Pappas]

Where's the money?

[Chris DiStefano]

The owner ate it. Yeah. That's why we're going to Gotham. Yeah, we're going to Gotham. And the tickets are gonna go on sale soon. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

At what date is that again?

[Chris DiStefano]

February 26th. It might be on sale right now, it might not. But that's our next live history.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yes. So get those tickets to see that and patreon.comhistory hyenas for our bonus episodes.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean the bonus episode.

[Giannis Pappas]

Join the matrix.

[Chris DiStefano]

We're gonna go nuts. Yeah. But so. Yeah. So I like to dwell. Jesse, have you ever been to Italy at all? You. Jesse would needs to go to Florence. You do as a matter of fact. Let's get this Patreon up. Let's get this. Let's double this Patreon. And then Jesse and a lucky fan which we will pick. We will are gonna go on all expenses paid trip to Florence, Italy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. And we will pick you again based on what you look like.

[Chris DiStefano]

Because of what you look like. Cuz if. Here's the thing with Jesse. If you brought Jesse, you're not gonna.

[Giannis Pappas]

Bring a random guy. No, it's not gonna happen.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's not gonna.

[Giannis Pappas]

You gotta be a girl and you gotta be a piece.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

And you also have to have no fumes.

[Chris DiStefano]

But do you think. Yes. We're gonna do a fume test before big. Yeah, we're gonna have to set. You're gonna have to. You're gonna have to bottle your fumes and send it.

[Giannis Pappas]

And what we mean by that is you gotta be a good person.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So do you think if you were at Disney with Jesse though, you would constantly turn around and not know where he is because he's stopping every five minutes to paint? No, he would just be. Just, just he wouldn't know what to do.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, no, I think he. I think he would not have a good time at Disney. I don't think that there's so many.

[Chris DiStefano]

Fatties for him to sculpt the paint. Oh yeah, that's what I meant. Like he would just look and see another. He would see. He would.

[Giannis Pappas]

His Dave.

[Chris DiStefano]

He would see his version of David every five feet.

[Giannis Pappas]

That for you just fat people are just funny. Right. You just can't get enough of like how big they are.

[C]

I do enjoy looking at them?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's just because it's just plump and they're just overweight.

[Chris DiStefano]

But he doesn't paint and sculpt as many fatties. He said. He said he's out of.

[Giannis Pappas]

Moved on from that phase. He's gone from his fat face, so.

[Chris DiStefano]

He'S gone from his fat.

[Giannis Pappas]

Every artist has a phase. They do something until they get sick of it. And then now he's on some watercoloring shit. No, no, no.

[C]

I'm into chicks who look like the Liver King. I want, like, cock diesel chicks.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh, wow. Do we have any of those? Well, if you're. If you're. Now. So now we vote it up.

[Giannis Pappas]

Has a few.

[Chris DiStefano]

If you're. If you're. Yeah, we'll talk about that at Patreon. But if you're a cock diesel chick, can you send a picture to. Either on the Patreon or at his training news on Instagram. If you're a cock diesel, Jesse will sculpt and paint you.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Do you still sculpt or you just paint mostly now I sculpt a little.

[C]

Bit, but mostly paint. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So, okay. I wanted to actually ask you about this because it. For me, and Jasmine's an artist as well. Like, she. She only knows how to paint, but, like, we both couldn't even figure out, like, where you even begin to try to sculpt these people. Like, how. Like, what is it in your brain? Like, what are you seeing, like, when you sculpt? If I said sculpt a mini version of David, could you do it?

[C]

I mean, it wouldn't come out as good as Michael, but you could get.

[Chris DiStefano]

Somewhere in the vicinity of it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

But, like, how. Like, what is your brain seeing?

[C]

Dude, I've been doing it for so long. I went to school for it, you know? You know, it's actually Disney recruited at my college, at my art school. Yeah. They would come up everywhere.

[Giannis Pappas]

What were they getting?

[C]

Animators. Oh, yeah, yeah. They'd come up and look at people.

[Giannis Pappas]

AI going to take over that too now?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes.

[Giannis Pappas]

So, wait, so what? So, yeah, that's like, the scope of, like, what's disturbing. So, like, they're taking over engineering, they're taking over surgery, they're taking over animation. I mean, what is going on?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

What is. What are people gonna do?

[Chris DiStefano]

I don't know.

[Giannis Pappas]

What are we. What are you gonna do?

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, the thing is, at least I think you gotta find for me. For what I think about is we have to find. AI will probably eventually take over every job but some of them are way further up the line than others. So you just gotta find a profession that's way down the line.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right.

[Chris DiStefano]

That you might have another hundred years in, but eventually it'll be everything. Right, but just find a profession that's way down the line.

[Giannis Pappas]

So what are we doing right now? We're almost making humans like.

[Chris DiStefano]

Useless. If we were an audio only podcast, which latter 14 is an audio only podcast, we could probably just have ChatGPT or AI just do the audio versions of us and it would sound similar.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. But no. Have you ever heard AI comedy? They haven't figured it out yet, but they probably will. Yeah, they probably will be able to get it really funny. But right now it's bad because I.

[Chris DiStefano]

Got to be honest with you, I'll just, I'll just. I asked chat. When I start talking to ChatGPT, I mean it gets a little. I just get in conversation. Like I said, I started asking crazy questions. The last thing I said is what does it mean if you feel like you want to do over in life? It said feeling. The desire for a do over in life is a sentiment many people experience after arising from feelings of dissatisfaction, stagnation, or perceived lack of purpose. This longing can manifest as a wish to reset certain aspects of one's life, making different choices or pursue different directions. And then my next question to it was, should you unfollow a girl on social media just because your girlfriend told you to?

[Giannis Pappas]

Can I see that?

[Chris DiStefano]

I swear to God.

[Giannis Pappas]

God. Cuz you got a leaky roof.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuz I mean you're out of control. Cuz you're talking to chat GPT like it's your therapist.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Read.

[Chris DiStefano]

Read some of the chat GPTs.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. What does it mean if you feel like you want a do over in life?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's the first one.

[Chris DiStefano]

And then what's the last one?

[Giannis Pappas]

When. When did I start comedy?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah. I once even knew I was. What are some of the other questions?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, cuz should you unfollow a girl on social media because your girlfriend told you too?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

What, what to do if you had a bad workout and are still feeling blah. Cuz you got a leak in the roof. Cuz you're a kid with a leak in the roof.

[Chris DiStefano]

Get some other ones.

[Giannis Pappas]

Can you lose. Can you lose weight on creatine?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Can you mix electrolytes and creatine? Guys, can you. Can creatine make you bloated and fat?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuz what do we got?

[Chris DiStefano]

What else we got?

[Giannis Pappas]

What are the Benefits of creatine.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

What was the very first History Hyenas episode?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Is Ted Williams frozen? Why is Luke's Diner called Williams Hardware?

[Chris DiStefano]

And Gilmore Girls? Yeah, I was watching Gilmore Girls with my daughter.

[Giannis Pappas]

Where was Gilmore Girls filmed?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Should we do that as a segment for the live shows? Read people's chat GPT.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Well, here, let's do this. This is Chat GBD doing us. Ready? Intro MUSIC plays sound this is you.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. Yanni P. What's up, baby? What historical maniac are we talking about today?

[Giannis Pappas]

CHRISSY D. Today we're talking about Disney.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's weird.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's wild.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's weird.

[Chris DiStefano]

Oh, well, the phone's listening to you punch that in.

[Giannis Pappas]

I did not punch.

[Chris DiStefano]

What did you ask it?

[Giannis Pappas]

I just said do a History Hyenas podcast segment.

[Chris DiStefano]

No, that's wild. Yeah, but we did. You have been saying Disney and the phone listens. But that is. I gotta be honest with you, the hair just stood up on the back of my neck a little bit.

[Giannis Pappas]

Me too.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. So this is a simulation.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, we're living in a simulation. I think they've taken control.

[Chris DiStefano]

All right, what do I say next? So if I say read my chat GPTs, I'm gonna flip the out.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. So it says, Chrissy D. Today we're talking about Disney, the most powerful empire since Rome.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wow. It's pretty good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Pretty good. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Except instead of legions, you got mouse ears and overpriced turkey legs.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's actually not bad. Yeah. Then you go, okay, Disney is a dictatorship in pastels. You ever been in Disney World? It's like a North Korea if Kim Jong Un had a fast pack ass. It's kind of intense. It's not bad. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Walt Disney was out here playing 40 chess. The guy said, I'm not just making movies, I'm making a world. And guess what? He bought half of Orlando to do it. Okay, yeah, see? Maybe something good's coming.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. He pulled the Julius Caesar move. He was like, I came, I saw. I built a castle with a fake Cinderella.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay, all right. So it's not that great.

[Chris DiStefano]

Not. Not that great yet.

[Giannis Pappas]

Not that great yet.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, Yanni.

[Giannis Pappas]

And, you know, he was greasing the palms of politicians. My guy set up his own government in Florida. My guy. Okay, Ready Creek Improvement District. That's like if the Roman Senate was run by Mickey Mouse.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah. It's what it is. And then I say, Mickey is basically a dictator in red shorts. You can't even joke about him. You Say something bad about Mickey Disney ninjas show up at your house. Like it'd be shame if you disappeared into the Small World Ride forever. I mean, I just wouldn't say that. I would say close to the word ninjas though. Just kidding. I just put that in as a little critsy. GPT.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that was Jesse kissing. GPT.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yachty. That's how they get you. You ever notice no one dies at Disney World?

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

You couldn't have a heart attack on Space Mountain and Disney will be like, technically they died outside the gates.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Listening to us.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, they are listening to us from. I don't know, maybe they're taking your search history legendary move. That's what I'm going to do when I die. Tell my kids to drag my body of Disney so I don't mess up their safety record. Okay, so now it's killing me at Disney.

[Giannis Pappas]

Ye.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay, so that's not good, bro.

[Giannis Pappas]

Walt Disney had the vision of Alexander the Great, the business mind of Rockefeller, and maybe, just maybe the secret freezer of Han Solo. That's pretty good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Pretty good.

[Giannis Pappas]

Pretty good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Let. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Holy fuck.

[Chris DiStefano]

Let's see. Let's see what? Okay. Conspiracy time Is Walt Disney frozen under Siller and Cinderella's castle? I say yes. Okay, so then that. There's two more.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay. Hyena laughs explode. Sound effects of cash register Cha changing. Okay, okay, okay. Bro. They built Frozen just to bury the search results.

[Chris DiStefano]

Wow. Wow.

[Giannis Pappas]

Not bad, not bad. Try Googling Disney Frozen and all you get is Elsa. That's 4D chess, baby. All right. Not great.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, but it knows that you like chess. And then it says. All right, Yanni, final verdict. Disney greatest empire ever or cult that brainwashes kids with talking mice. I mean, that's the title of the episode because we're gonna get some clicks off that, so at least we got that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, I'm just gonna ask. Are you listening to this episode we are recording right now, cuz.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah. And see what that little motherfucker says. I mean, cuz, every time. Chatgpt.

[Giannis Pappas]

I wish I could cuz, but nah, I'm just channeling the spirit of history. Hyenas. Wild, reckless and historically accurate. Ish. If you're recording right now, you better be bringing that Chrissy chaos energy and Yanni long day's wisdom because the world needs it. What's the topic today? This fucking thing is great.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's creepy. I mean, because I am so 1000% convinced that Chachi PT is just the on the other end of it. It's just a Chinese kid who's just really smart because there's sometimes I start asking it, it starts writing in Chinese and then it backpedals.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

And it just said oh, I didn't mean that. And then it just starts going dude.

[Giannis Pappas]

It'S like talking to a person. I mean it's really weird.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what I talk to. I mean because I was watching Gilmore Girls with my daughters and I was asking, I was asking a Gilmore Girl question. Have you ever seen Gilmore Girls? By the way, it's actually a pretty good show. You're sick. And I'm going to get sick enough from touching your phone. Cuz I want to talk to you about Open phone. Okay. First of all, it's the number one business phone system. They're going to help you separate your personal life from your growing business. And make no mistake, because you're growing, I'm growing and you. So you need open Phone because you got to just separate these things and so do. Why? For just $15 a month, the cost of a few coffees. Okay. You get complete transparency and visibility into everything happening with your business phone number. Cuz too many people out here know our real numbers. We need business phones. An open phone works through an app on your phone or computer and integrates with HubSpot and hundreds of other systems. You know how they do it? Cuz they use AI powered call transcripts and summaries. So you'll have a summary of your phone call with action items as soon as you hang up. And if you miss a call, automated messages are sent directly to your customer meaning you and you'll never miss an opportunity to engage with them. Because I'm an engaged kid and I want to engage with everyone.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. And listen Chrissy, it's affordable and easy to use. Yeah, it really is. Whether you're a one person operation and need help managing calls automatically or you have a large team and need better tools for efficient collaboration. OpenPhone is what you call a no brainer.

[Chris DiStefano]

Plus they've won multiple awards by G2 for software reviews and are trusted by over 50,000 businesses. Businesses. Right now OpenPhone is offering 20 off your first six months when you go to openphone.com hyenas that's O-P-E-N P-H-O-N-E.com H Y E N A S for 20 off six months openphone.com hyenas and if you have existing numbers with another service, Open phone will port them over at no extra charge.

[Giannis Pappas]

Nice. Yeah, yeah. Chat GBT is.

[Chris DiStefano]

Knows what's up.

[Giannis Pappas]

Knows what's up. Wow.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. So, I mean, ChatGPT, it gets a little nuts, but yeah, it's gonna take.

[Giannis Pappas]

Over our job one day soon too. I mean, it's crazy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

You don't need animators anymore. I mean, even the rides at Disney World, it's just like computer faces.

[Chris DiStefano]

Are you a ride guy? Did you enjoy the rides?

[Giannis Pappas]

I did not. I got claustrophobic in there and they were boring. They're for kids.

[Chris DiStefano]

Let me, I'm gonna send you all. Did you enjoy them? Yeah, but I like rides, so let me.

[Giannis Pappas]

A grown man man.

[Chris DiStefano]

I am a grown man.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's the thing. I was seeing grown men and women on there. Like, how are people enjoying it? Or am I just a pooper? Am I just a bah humbug?

[Chris DiStefano]

No. Here, I'm gonna send this to you right now, Jesse, and then you throw this puppy up on. Throw this up. This is a digital animation of a ride and I want to see if we could get Yanni to go on this because make no mistake, I want to go on this. I want to know, Jesse, are you a rides guy or you won't do it? All right, so will you do this ride?

[Giannis Pappas]

I, I did the soaring one, you know, where it's like, yeah, you're flying over pyramids. I like that.

[Chris DiStefano]

That one's a nice ride, but that's also a ride. That's for a ride for my mom. I want you to do some big boy shit like this. So this is Cedar Point has just unveiled, it's called Sirens Curse, a thrilling new roller coaster adventure. I mean, look at this motherfucking ride.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuz that falls off the thing.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's the point of the ride is the, is it is the track tilts. And you, you are pretty much not on a track for half for a part of the ride. I mean, look at, at this thing. Can you play it, baby? Or is it not playing? It should.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's in how many languages can I say no? No way, Jose.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's not playing.

[C]

Yeah, hold on, let me see if I can get it somewhere else.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. Yes. Cedar Point, it was liked by Chrissy D. Yeah, I mean, cuz, because when I saw it, I said I gotta get on it. It's, it'll be nice if we could go to.

[Giannis Pappas]

You like getting scared on the rides?

[Chris DiStefano]

I like getting scared on the rides. It's, it's a little bit of a thrill that I like. My daughter, my oldest daughter loves rides. So I, I, you Were not a kid who would go on rides when you were.

[Giannis Pappas]

No, I'm scared of heights.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

I just have a sphere of heights.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, I don't like heights.

[Chris DiStefano]

So do I, but I get over it on the roller coaster. I just feel strapped in.

[Giannis Pappas]

Right.

[Chris DiStefano]

I feel strapped in by the bar. And I also feel. Jesus got me strapped in.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's right.

[Chris DiStefano]

He's holding me the whole way. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm actually not scared of the roller coasters, but I just don't enjoy them. I just get like flung around and it's just.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's not your thing.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's not my thing.

[Chris DiStefano]

So you went on soaring? I mean. Yeah, because you can only go on really little kid rides.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, there's no. I mean, the most thrilling one was the hot dog. Dog one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yes. Slinky dog, dad. Cause you went on a ride. You went to the theme park every single day. You didn't take one day off.

[Giannis Pappas]

Now if I hear a frozen theme song or It's a Small World after all, or if I hear one of those things, I'm gonna have like a Michael Douglas falling.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, cuz, how was the weather?

[Giannis Pappas]

The weather was gorgeous. So I got a little color.

[Chris DiStefano]

You did get a little color. I mean, is this it? Cuz is this siren's curse?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, look at this. I want to know for real, for real real, if you would go on this.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Like just what would I have to do to get you on this? This is Cedar Point. This is one of the best amusement parks in the world. They have. They have, I think five or 10 of the top 20 roller coasters in the world are all at one park. Yeah, Here we go. What's going on with the Internet? I mean, cuz we might not be here much longer.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, we got.

[Chris DiStefano]

They lose the video and now the Internet sucks. We might be moving studios.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. I mean. What's going on?

[C]

Switch over to my phone.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. I mean, what's going on in here?

[Giannis Pappas]

Do you fully trust guys that work around kids?

[Chris DiStefano]

I know.

[Giannis Pappas]

I think it should be all women all around kids.

[Chris DiStefano]

I think it should be. I think we. I think we should just do like. I think we should honestly just go back to the way it honestly fudgeing was. Only women are. Women are only allowed to work around the children. And then men do every other job in the world.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. The women do the date work around the kids and that's the jobs that they have. And then every other job is just guys at every position always and only that's.

[Giannis Pappas]

I like it.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, what about that?

[Giannis Pappas]

That's the way the 1600s.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. But make no mistake, America was number one.

[Giannis Pappas]

Make America male again.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, I'm just kidding.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, no joke.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, I mean, it's. Right. I mean, it just doesn't work because.

[Giannis Pappas]

I was just looking around, you know, I was at Disney, I'm walking around and when I see the guys there that work there, you know, some of them look fully franks and beans, right. And you're going like, I want to look through this guy's computer and I want to know what he's thinking about. Because you know, they have caught major pedophiles at Disney. Working at Disney. They've done major stinks.

[Chris DiStefano]

They caught a kid that was fucking had cameras underneath on his shoes and he was taking pictures of kids like in the stalls.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, do you think for pedophiles that we just. This is an honest thing. Do you think that they most likely cannot be rehabilitated? So the options are either we just kill them immediately on the spot if they get convicted, or you just put them on an idiot island where they, you know, we're technically. And kill them. And there's food and stuff on there. Like, you know, there's animals and shit. But they have to like hunt to survive or kill each other.

[Giannis Pappas]

There's got, there's got a way be a way to identify them and then use them for something productive. Because what can you do?

[Chris DiStefano]

Because you can't have them in society. I'm talking about like not, not a guy that's 19 and bangs a 16 year old. I'm talking about if the kid is under 10 years old and the guy's over 20.

[Giannis Pappas]

You got to take them, put them on an island. Maybe we buy green. We put them all on Greenland. Right.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's a great idea.

[Giannis Pappas]

And then you got to utilize their skills. No kids. So you have to be over a certain age to go on Greenland. So that's it. And they can't leave. It's very simple.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

So then they become productive members. They probably build a great civilization because one thing pedophiles are good at, it's planning. Yes, they're really good at planning. Yeah, yeah, they plan stuff. They're really good at grooming and planning.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

So they'll just create a great civilization, but they won't be able to leave. And you can go visit Greenland.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

As long as you're over a certain age, so you know, they won't be.

[Chris DiStefano]

Attracted to you or do you do or do you think like with that. That's why when pedophiles confront, convicted pedophiles go to jail, they 90% of the time just get killed in jail. Like that's the way of society, ridding them.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's another way to do it. But if you want to get them productive, you get, we got. Put them to work, you got to.

[Chris DiStefano]

Have them do something.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, they're good at planning, Right. They're good at manipulation and planning. So where could we use them? If we take away the kids, what can we use them for?

[Chris DiStefano]

Right?

[Giannis Pappas]

Diplomacy, Right? Something like that.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

Something we got to use their. What they use for evil. We have to use it for our own Machiavellian gain as a country.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right? So. So yeah, so yeah, let's try to figure something out. Because I mean these. Because I just want to kill him.

[Giannis Pappas]

You just want to get rid of them. Yeah, yeah, we could do that too. Yeah, we could also do that. Yeah, we could kill them as well.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, it's not because I think they're bad people, but I think in many.

[Giannis Pappas]

They are bad people.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, no, they have it there. They, they, they want to, they are because they want to beg kids. But I'm saying they just need to do over. So let's get them back on the wheel of death and maybe they'll pop out as a different person.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, because why do you want to do over?

[Chris DiStefano]

Because I think some of the decisions I've made are adding a lot of pressure to my life and I kind of just want to do over.

[Giannis Pappas]

Well, the thing is you just gotta, you gotta. Why don't you just simplify it? Why don't you just simplify. Just stop looking. Just stop looking around so much and just fucking focus on what you, what you do and what you got.

[Chris DiStefano]

Just live in Bedford.

[Giannis Pappas]

Just, just move to fucking Armonk or Harrison or fucking Rye and just do it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Harrison's actually kind of cute.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, Harrison's very cute. And listen, you'll be there a couple years and then you'll be like, like I feel antsy. And then the next thing, yeah, who the knows?

[Chris DiStefano]

Just keep the cost low.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, just keep your cost. You just want to keep the car.

[Chris DiStefano]

I just want a house with a pool.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're done with the anxiety and the stress.

[Chris DiStefano]

I am done with the anxiety and stress. That's why I asked Chat GPT if I could just get a do over and I don't know what it but I thought it was going to tell me to go called suicide outline but it didn't. It told me. It actually told me to just breathe.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, just breathe through box breathing.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, well, it really did. I mean, when I asked chat GPT if I could just have a duo do over, it really said, what would.

[Giannis Pappas]

You do if you had a do over? Would you not even do comedy? Would you do like. No, I would still do civil service.

[Chris DiStefano]

Maybe I wouldn't. Maybe I wouldn't do comedy. Honestly, I don't know. But I. I think. Can you mix electrolytes and creatine? Yeah. Can you? Oh, yeah. All that was on creatine. Yeah, the bad workout. Yeah, I was just having a morning. Wait, where is. Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Oh, yeah, here we go. It told me that you. The possible causes could be languishing, which is a state characterized by feelings of stagnation and emptiness. But I don't feel stagnant or empty. Then it said it could be a lack of purpose. Experiencing a lack of meaning or direction can result in constant boredom or dissatisfaction. So maybe I do get bored easily, but that's on me, not my life is fun. Or also said comparative feelings, feeling behind in life compared to peers can lead to a sense of missing out that social media. Right. So here's the steps to address it. Self reflection. Take time to assess your current situation and identify specific areas where you feel unfilled or regretful. Set new goals. So establish realistic and achievable objectives. Seek support. Engage in conversation with friends, family or mental health. Embrace change.

[Giannis Pappas]

Consider funny if the next thing was this. Or you could have your co host walk you up the hill to Poughkeepsie and squeeze one off in the back of your bowling ball head.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah, that's. Well, I mean, yeah, it kind of says that because it says, remember, while it's impossible to restart life entirely, it is within your power to make meaningful changes that can lead to greater fulfillment and renewed sense of purpose. So that might mean you just fucking pulling one off in the back of my head and we're getting back on the wheel of death. We're getting a do over.

[Giannis Pappas]

What is the wheel of death? What is that?

[Chris DiStefano]

The wheel of death is this new theory that I'm believing in that we are all on. We all die and then we go back onto the wheel of death and we just keep spinning and then we get shot out into another time or another, you know, another box, another meat vessel, and then we just get another chance.

[Giannis Pappas]

So basically the show Quantum Leap pretty much.

[Chris DiStefano]

And then, and then we just. And then we just, you know, we keep going back onto the Wheel of Death until we are able, through positive vibrations, not letting the, you know, superior race eat our negative thoughts. We get out and we're able to get through and break through and go into whatever the next level is. But until then, you're just stuck in the Wheel of Death where these people are eating negative thoughts. That's why they think that, like, Tibetan mom monks just sit there and meditate all day because they have gotten. Now it might be their hundredth time on the Wheel of Death, and they are now just finally get to that enlightenment where they're like, this is the only way out and they just have to sacrifice their life.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's very Indian. That's very, like karma. Karma, I think is real. I just felt it. Karma's real.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's real.

[Giannis Pappas]

Karma just feels like the energy you put out, like, it just comes back. So if you put out good energy, good energy comes back. You put out bad energy, bad energy. It just seems. Karma seems real to me.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't know about the past lives and stuff like that, but if it would be nice to come back as a salamander, Right? Just a salamander in South Florida.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

On the wall of a hotel or motel.

[Chris DiStefano]

Just chill.

[Giannis Pappas]

Minding my business.

[Chris DiStefano]

Nobody really cares about. Nobody wants to kill you. Nothing really wants to eat you.

[Giannis Pappas]

No. You're just kind of. You're fast. You can get out of there quick.

[Chris DiStefano]

You're just chilling.

[Giannis Pappas]

You're just chilling. You're cool being still.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

They almost look like they're meditating. They don't move. Yeah, salamanders are cool.

[Chris DiStefano]

I kind of like, maybe a dolphin would be nice too.

[Giannis Pappas]

Dolphin would be nice too.

[Chris DiStefano]

Just kind of swim around in the water.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, that would be nice to come back as a dolphin. I'd like to come back as maybe a chipmunk, too. Yeah. But then they get eaten. How about a hawk? Fly and swore flying high. Or maybe I just come back. Be nice to come back as just a black child.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Yeah, that would be nice.

[Giannis Pappas]

That would be nice.

[Chris DiStefano]

That'd be nice.

[Giannis Pappas]

Just be nice to just be a black child.

[Chris DiStefano]

Be a Chinese baby. Chinese babies are the cutest babies.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Some of them smoke. Yeah, some of them do smoke.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Because. Do we have Patreon names today, Jesse? So of course, this is our favorite part of the show. You go to patreon.com history hyenas and we read out the names of the newest members and we encourage you guys to make a funny name because the Winner will be our PPW Pseudo Penis of the Week. We've had some banging names lately, so it's just gonna continue. And it's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

And in conclusion, if you're gonna take your kids to Disney World, just make. Just wear some very comfortable shoes and no. Know that you are going to work.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, you're going to work. It is not a vacation.

[Giannis Pappas]

It is not a vacation.

[Chris DiStefano]

Thank you, cuz. I appreciate it. Yeah, I mean, wow. I mean, we got a lot of.

[Giannis Pappas]

Names because here we got.

[Chris DiStefano]

I mean, right? We just got a lot of names. We got. Yeah, okay. So it's what it is. All right, folks, here are the newest members of the matriarchy. And Giannis is going to do this while he's eating overnight oats. He ate some. We got from the local bakery. Some pistachio overnight. And they are really good. All right, so let's start it off. So we got Bobby Bellies. You know what's cute? You know what's cute? Welcome to the show. Then we got Kim Jong Fumes Makes Zhe Zhen Puing.

[Giannis Pappas]

Very good. Direct like that. Very good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got Power Stroke and Chancellor Schickgluber Schnitzel. Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay. It's a mouthful.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yanni One eyed polyps. Hemis papas. Okay. Penny Mustard stainless. Chrissy's German Jew gun. I mean, glue gun.

[Giannis Pappas]

Funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. Dr. Jan was Kendrick Lamar. Now I'm Kendrick Fumar after Fuhrer Schultz made sweet love to me.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's really good. Yeah, it's borderline.

[Chris DiStefano]

Borderline Drexler.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, Drexler. But good, very good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Father Bill's Holy Spicoli. Leaks. Guacamole aioli. Okay, thank you, Father Bill. Father Bill's clipped polyps for the table.

[Giannis Pappas]

Drexler for the funny factor.

[Chris DiStefano]

Not a Yami. But I am chosen to take all of Yanni Long days. Okay, slay Zhangshian. Name is Cali the Bully. I came in my own beard.

[Giannis Pappas]

He shot far. That was it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Boo Radley. Honky with a dump truck looking for a nut bust.

[Giannis Pappas]

Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

Hitler on my Dickler. Wearing lingerie and sending pics to Joe Derosa. Drexer, Drexler Callawan, Ben Biggers, Andrew Wild Harbor. J.D. vance. He'll see your couch in a different way. Then we got. Was he. It's a security.

[Giannis Pappas]

You walked it away.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, I can't say that we don't condone that kind of stuff. I mean, it's bad bean machine seat in the Aryan Nation. Yam mean lot of 14. Okay, Anthony gonna turn ISIS into was one was. Hernandez. It's a was. Was. It's actually pretty.

[Giannis Pappas]

Very creative. Let's throw them on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

Throw them on the list. We got a first guy on the list.

[Giannis Pappas]

Very creative.

[Chris DiStefano]

Hayden Pizzolato Sauce Monkey Race Bader Ginsburg.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wow.

[Chris DiStefano]

List list Race Bader Ginsburg. Yep. That's a good one. Harry Cunt. Dick Jr. Okay. Okay. Suddenly we got Drew the Berlin. Okay. Walked into work. Can't do that one good one. Then we got Long Island Pizza Girl, Yanni P. And Chrissy D. Got my bank account flagged. And my wife found the only fans. Bet that's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

Sorry about that, cuz.

[Chris DiStefano]

I'm not gay, but I'm gonna come in you in a different way. You're B. Horn. Okay. Thank you. Seamus Heaney. Yanni pumps and Amp. Chrissy Dumps. Louis Cheese. Andrew Dice Cunanan. AKA Perk Franklin. Casey Anthony's Daycare. AKA Lorena Bobbitt's Precision Circumcision.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay. You should have went with one or the other.

[Chris DiStefano]

One or the other. But all right. You want to throw it all out there. But good.

[Giannis Pappas]

Good, though.

[Chris DiStefano]

Presenting Yanni Construction Boots. Loves Glue Gun toots. And Christy Closets shoots glue like a faucet. Rekindling with my wife after Donnie T. Sends my GMAR back to the doctor. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. It's what it is called. Contender.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's a contender. It's just funny. It's probably true.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Uber me to Fontana. Including Tip. No problem. Steel pipe. Jmb Painted Company. Screwed in.

[Giannis Pappas]

Screwed him.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. Okay. And then we got Father Billiards. Pool cue Straight to the crack. Okay. Fun. Get Chrissy D on the horn. Father Bill creamed my corn. A lot of Father Bill.

[Giannis Pappas]

Father Bills just keep coming.

[Chris DiStefano]

Father Bill's Prolapse Fart Box. I mean, yeah. Pie Fieri. Jared the Jew Clamber Jammer. Okay. Lick a lot of Puss the Dinosaur.

[Giannis Pappas]

The Jew Clamber Jammer is just basically saying he bangs a lot of Chew broads.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's funny. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm gonna give him a chicken feather.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. And then we got Lick a lot of Push the Dinosaur. Okay. Cute. Yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Good one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Good one.

[Giannis Pappas]

Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

Drexar.

[Giannis Pappas]

Good one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got Ben the Dick Cominger. Snatch. Okay. Bender Dick Cumber. Right, okay. Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

Oh, another good one. Creative Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

Then we got Young Unic. Hurts to Piss to mixtape drops January 6th.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's just funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Glue Gun Silencer. Then we got Big Mike has James Gandalf. And that's what we call a tbg. Okay. Thank you. Tim Dillon gluing his jelly rolls together to make a six pack. Okay. Walked into. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I mean, yeah. So funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Walked in towards a friend. Then we got Squirt Reynolds.

[Giannis Pappas]

Squirt Reynolds.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's funny. Chicken figure, right?

[Giannis Pappas]

Chicken figure.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Squirt Reynolds is funny. I walked into one. Then we got Harry. Make no mistake, I got warts on my hog Potter.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay, Very funny. They're really funny. This one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Here we got the Salsa Monkey Award. Ernie Sanchez.

[Giannis Pappas]

How you doing? How you doing? How you doing, Caballero?

[Chris DiStefano]

Dreamt about you FFs and woke up with a drippy glue gun in my pillow in my ass.

[Giannis Pappas]

What do you think I would put on the list? For the funny?

[Chris DiStefano]

Why not?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, for the funny. I mean, a pillow in the ass is hilarious.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Then we got bug chasing with Chrissy and D Wade's three dollar bill, son. Okay. Yeah, okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Smoke Squirrel, Seleni's. Then we got squeezed off a homeless guy for pics of AOC's fried butterfly. Okay. A little twink on SNL stole Yanni's bit and Das said okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Walked into one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Walked into one. Then we got Aunt Tutty's Boner Garage Bird Consulting Beans, La Flare. Then we got Jose Gay Fumendez. My kids are for the table. Oh, I guess Shane is about is the Menendez dad.

[Giannis Pappas]

Say it again.

[Chris DiStefano]

Jose Fumendez. My kids are for the table. Because he used to bang his kids, right?

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah. Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

Drexler. Nice odd chase. Then we got Cuz hook up battery cables to my nips and shock me until my skeleton shows.

[Giannis Pappas]

Fucking so creative and twisted. Our fans got leaky roofs.

[Chris DiStefano]

They got leaky roofs. What do we think, Drexler? Okay. Then we got Derek Michaels, Kyle G. And then here we got our Spy Monkey Award. Ching Chong Wing Huang.

[Giannis Pappas]

Monkey is crazy.

[Chris DiStefano]

Crazy. Sorry. Yeah. Then we got Timmy D's Weak in the Knees for Jre and Jamie's piece. Okay. RFK sounds like Father Bill whispering tzatziki recipes through a group gun.

[Giannis Pappas]

I can't get over the tape. Tape the rolls together.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's wild. But we walked into what's a friend kid.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's a frank kid.

[Chris DiStefano]

Do it. Chrissy's Queer Eye for the Pool guy made Tampatoni cry. Then we got the guy from Houston.

[Giannis Pappas]

There he is.

[Chris DiStefano]

There he is. Dennis Rodstein and the Chicago dollar three bills. Julia Bloomy. Cry face. Sarah Hallooney. Colleen Jr. Is my daughter getting baptized in Smithtown water. Bruce Not The One with the Screw Loose Willis. Okay, then we got. Make no mistake, my beans are bigger than my Frank.

[Giannis Pappas]

Funny, funny. Drexer. Drexler.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. AA screw more Lucy than Chrissy's trans pussy. Okay. Christina Bucci. Christian Bucci. Sorry. Smithtown water is turning the hyenas into the Menendez sisters. And if the water is turning the frogs gay. Okay. I wrote Helter Skelter for Chrissy's balls by shooting Elmer's on the wall. Chrissy ddddd my PPP line of 14. Sports fan 117. Make no mistake, don't get it twisted. I gave it a shake and then I missed it. Yes. Foleyville's comptroller. Okay. Screwed in Clyde the Glide. Father Bill to my history Hymenia. Okay. Travis S. Konoski. Bill and Hill's last kill is a squeak squasher. Timmy Dill. Okay. Fur nostril, hair tits. Suck my dick, babe. Truth bait or Hinderberg. Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Justin. It's not that long, but sure is. Skinny Hopper. Okay. Yanni Pop ass plus Chris de Stuff in the hole. Kyle, Chrissy's future top. Okay. Prissy Chrissy makes Yanni's poppies. Glue gun sneeze Cutely Ladder 14. Cutely funny. Ladder 14's freshly baked queef Wellington.

[Giannis Pappas]

Queef Wellington is funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Funny.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Chicken finger Tic tac.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yanni, show me your toes. My glue guns backed up. Okay. Tucked back in Greenwich, aka enemy territory. Matthew Molina. Dr. Phil gave Chrissy a blue pill and drill till his glue gun spill for Father Bill Certified toot With two kids under two slo k s All head, no shaft Chicken finger Tommy pastrami. Chrissy sniffed AOC Seaton called her mommy. Rock hard from a blue chew I have to think of my wife's sister to glue gun. Here we go. Wait. Rock hard from a blue chew I have to think of my wife's sister to glue glue. My dad's a juju but my mom is not Few, few.

[Giannis Pappas]

Contender.

[Chris DiStefano]

Contender. Yeah, It's a nice rhyme.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Diddy cellmate Ch Chuck. Funny, funny. Johnny's chicken thighs I'm a one ply guy Obese Peace. From the southeast of Houston we'll take Father Bill and shooting his poop shoot for Rome Obama's white mama Just a straight to the back. Leroy. Arnold Schwartz or Leroy.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chicken figure.

[Chris DiStefano]

Chicken figure. Can't do that. Can't do that. And that is not true.

[Giannis Pappas]

That is not true. Walk the other one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. Yep. Sorry about that. Skeevy Richie G Banging out venity lot of 14.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Kind of walk, that one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yep. Chrissy Reeves. Chrissy Reeves. Curly G. Glue Do True Blue. Gay Ridge boy buk. Buki fan6969. You're right into the. Well, Wait, what?

[Giannis Pappas]

Wait, you get it?

[Chris DiStefano]

AKA you ran right into this one, Chrissy. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, cannot do that at all.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. And unfortunately. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, the kid said you ran right into one.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, he knew.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

So.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. All right, so that was a good one. But we can't do it. But it's creative.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's creative, but you can't. It's so funny. Oh, God.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

I knew he was gonna get you.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Then we got Aaron Cte, but not in the gay way. Hernandez. Okay, that's just a. You know, that's coming off a bad one. Yeah. Got the bean peen. Jk. It's a micro Teenage Big Mike at the Diddy party. Your cuz that's franks and beans in the big red machine 14 vertical mustache. Okay, can't do that. Walk into one. Can't do that at all.

[Giannis Pappas]

Funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Can't do it. Security.

[Chris DiStefano]

Nancy pelosi. Soft sweet beanbags 88.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay, very funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Nose knows. Fumatu. Big Mike's piece. Ryan Murphy. Still trapped out from pushing down the gay. But can't wait to see one of Yanni's eyes win the battle for that real estate. Okay, Latina Squeak will cut off your piece if you come at me in a different way. Ave Fumadia Mo CAS way. Sean Kingston. Chrissy is funnier. Chrissy is funny. Okay, thank you.

[Giannis Pappas]

Thank you.

[Chris DiStefano]

Lyle Menendez, stuck in my endeavor.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Colonel Cooties reporting for booty. Okay. Maximilian Junkert. Tampa Tony's expired United Healthcare insurance card. Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay, that's really funny. Yeah, but you can't walk. What's a walk into one? Yeah, I mean, Tampa Tony's on limits, I guess.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah, it's fine.

[Giannis Pappas]

Drexler then.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, it's fine. Bbl Desi Dick down and Clean Down Out. Sarah Helslog. Dylan Cunningham. Sugar Daddy with the candy nuts coming for Chrissy's butt. Gigi Pinoying Chris Kringle's sack, Jingler Poo Daddy, Nick the Potato and Mick.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chicken Finger.

[Chris DiStefano]

Sean Nell Eyes Glued Shut. Throbbing Williams, Napoleon the Poop. Slurper Usurper Boner Fart.

[Giannis Pappas]

Drexler. Just for the funny factor.

[Chris DiStefano]

Hannah. Hannah Eugene. Make no mistake, my name is White, but my piece is Leroy Clark Fart and Van Buren Fart.

[Giannis Pappas]

And Van Buren.

[Chris DiStefano]

You like that one? Chicken finger. Okay. Fart and Van Buren.

[Giannis Pappas]

Van Buren.

[Chris DiStefano]

Couple more. So then we got. Okay, we got that one. Oh, this is a repeat of the. Wait, hold. Hold on. Oh, here we go. Officer Nikki stopping Frisky's Leroy on street to touch their piece. Giuliani, come back, please.

[Giannis Pappas]

I love BBCs track, sir.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. Johnny Little, Poppy Ortiz. Zachy Pindras. The big ding from Sing Sing. Then we got Chase Mitchell, Jay Higgs. Gigi pinged my nuts off. Now I'm always Sean Sheehan for the tape table. Okay. Tom Segura's nannies denied United Health Care claim.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

I don't know what that means.

[Giannis Pappas]

Funny, though.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. All right. Munge Muncher. He man Hyman Hyena history. Hyenas ear. It's what it is. Kazi Yannis lives in the spank bank. FF Cutie with a pair of SS booties. Stevie Woot, a cute toot sent to shoot Vladimir Poot a cuz he was he muzzies.

[Giannis Pappas]

Cuz he was he muzzies.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Chicken figure.

[Chris DiStefano]

Big Mike's favorite game is Tick Tuck toe. Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's really good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm gonna have to put that on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, I'm gonna put that on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

All right, we got it.

[Giannis Pappas]

Tick tuck toe.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's funny.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So then we got. She had armpit hair, so the fumes were maxed out.

[Giannis Pappas]

List.

[Chris DiStefano]

List. Yeah, there we go. List. Eric Leroy. I run my Squeak glue stick on a tranny's leg. Adams. Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Lucado. Then we got. Be gentle with my belly button. It's sensitive. It's sensitive. I'm gonna come. Okay? Okay. All right. New H1B. What's an H1B? Oh, shit.

[Giannis Pappas]

Foreign workers. Yeah, it walked into one, but it's funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

It's funny. So what are we gonna do?

[Giannis Pappas]

We're gonna. We're gonna. We're gonna Drexler it. Because I walked into one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. Paulo Ripper. Then we got Yanni. Pop makes my pee pee happy. Anthony Delgado. Then we got Mahatma Gandhi's Punani Creamy We Army. Okay. Ladder 14. Joke. Okay, so Ladder 14. Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So.

[Giannis Pappas]

So, yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Security.

[Giannis Pappas]

I don't know what's.

[Chris DiStefano]

Contact the authorities.

[Giannis Pappas]

Contact the authorities.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah. Sorry about that.

[Giannis Pappas]

Sorry, guys. We. You know, we don't. We're not. We don't know Those guys.

[Chris DiStefano]

Baby batter 14. AKA Yanni's hummus cannon.

[Giannis Pappas]

Wait, say that again.

[Chris DiStefano]

Baby batter 14. AKA yanni's hummus cannon.

[Giannis Pappas]

If he just left it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yanni's hummus cannon might actually made the left.

[Giannis Pappas]

I'm gonna give him a Drexler anyway because Yanni's hummus can. Calling a. Well, if I was Middle east, first of all, the guy just. He stumbled around it. But if. If he was just a Middle Eastern guy and he said, you know, somehow my hummus cannon.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

To call his penis. Yeah, that's great. A hummus cannon for Arab guy's dick is great. 10 out of 10 is a 10.

[Chris DiStefano]

Chrissy's Puerto Rican. Puffy Jack Evan Colacci. Luigi Adolfini. Menthol fumes from Anamini. Okay, okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Menthol fumes from a Namini.

[Chris DiStefano]

He called himself a Namini.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, I'm gonna put that on the list because menthol fumes from Namini is a black guy that's smoking in Newport.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what it is.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

Sydney Barney. Larry's Private Pilot. Chrissy Kevorkian. Why are you doing stepladder 14? Okay. What that means. Christian Barry, Christian McCardo, Yanni P. And Chrissy D. Make me sleepy on JRE KK Pope. Boys for the table. The second electric boogaloo. Okay, okay. One more Suzuki Queen Yanni Flick my bean. Chrissy is gay and it's okay. Lot of 14 good rhymes. Squint when you say this China is is asshole.

[Giannis Pappas]

I like that he came with directions.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Pappas]

Get him. Strong Drexer.

[Chris DiStefano]

Strong Drexer.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Johnny. Firing shots like Clarice Starling at the Chinese until they are on their knees. Lot of 14.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Jesse Mercado, Ben Greenfield, Matthew Mandrigan Nicolic. Blew up my foreskin like a balloon, so I'm married. It's Blew up my foreskin like a balloon, so I'm married. It's what it is. Okay, okay. Abu Bakr. I'll Big I'm not a daddy because Trump made dogs eat me. Okay. Brian Yauss Way. Sean Sheehan's canceled baloney pony rides. Hank Hand jobs for Scratch off tickets. Tucker. Nancy Pelosi's mature naturals boyfriend, Michael Penix. Alexander the Greek. Alexander the Great. Eating grapes out of grapes. Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Grapes out of grapes.

[Chris DiStefano]

I don't know. I don't get. Did we say grapes? Did we call. Did we say grapes?

[Giannis Pappas]

Were grapes out of grapes?

[Chris DiStefano]

I don't know.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Tampa. Tony's jockstrap on ice. Okay. Need time on the name Cuz. Brian Powell. Cuckles Joshua Copeland. Potato Monkey Face Leroy. Glucose gun. Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris DiStefano]

Kumail Nan We Shan Chien del Diablo. Chicken Finger Pinga. Eli White Women make me sticky. Brigante. Okay. Walked into one. Yep. Walked into one. Cannot do that. Yeah. Trans Fleshlights for Kamala Harris. Tony Hinchcliff. Tony Hinchcliff's personal vest shopper.

[Giannis Pappas]

Very funny. Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Blackrock rick. Holy Annie O'Farady and. Yeah, and I think that's.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's good.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, that's good. That's good for now. Okay, so let's go.

[Giannis Pappas]

That's a funny one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Yeah, let's just.

[Giannis Pappas]

Weren't. They were funny, but like, no show stoppers except for those few.

[Chris DiStefano]

But that. But. But this is good.

[Giannis Pappas]

This is.

[Chris DiStefano]

This is why. This is why we do this.

[Giannis Pappas]

Every list has its own personality.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's what it is. Okay, so. Dreamt about you FFs and woke up with a drippy glue gun. And now my pillow's in my ass.

[Giannis Pappas]

Still in the game.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay. Still in the game. So they're still on the list. Then we got Anthony going to turn ISIS into. Was. Was Hernandez.

[Giannis Pappas]

That. That's a. You could drex for that one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Drexer that one.

[Giannis Pappas]

Any other day. Any other day.

[Chris DiStefano]

Race bader Ginsburg.

[Giannis Pappas]

Still in the game.

[Chris DiStefano]

Still in the game.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay, so race bader. Still there. Rekindling with my wife after Donnie T. Sends Mike Gumar back to the doctor.

[Giannis Pappas]

Contender.

[Chris DiStefano]

Still in the game. Contender. Okay. Okay. So we got these. All right, so now we got rock hard from Blue Chill. I have to think of my wife's sister to glue goo. My dad's a juju, but my mom is not.

[Giannis Pappas]

Few.

[Chris DiStefano]

Few.

[Giannis Pappas]

So good. So good. I'm gonna Drexler it, though. No, keep it in the game.

[Chris DiStefano]

All right, so we got that in the game. And then we got. Big Mike's favorite game is Tick tock toe.

[Giannis Pappas]

Another good. What? We're gonna have to direct slur it.

[Chris DiStefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, we have to Drexler it because we had a better.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right?

[Giannis Pappas]

We had a better Big Mike joke, but it's still great.

[Chris DiStefano]

Still great at the end of the day. Then we had. She had armpit hair, so the fumes were maxed out.

[Giannis Pappas]

Maxed out Fumes is hilarious.

[Chris DiStefano]

But we're gonna drag direct slurp, but thank you for your service. Then we got Luigi Adolfini menthol fumes from a Namini.

[Giannis Pappas]

One more time.

[Chris DiStefano]

Luigi Adolfini menthol fumes from a Namini.

[Giannis Pappas]

It's funny. We're gonna Drexler it. Menthol fumes from a Namini is very funny.

[Chris DiStefano]

All right, so here are the contenders.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay, this is tough.

[Chris DiStefano]

So here are the contenders. So we got. Let me you know what I'll do? You know what we'll do? For now, let me read them all out. There's four of them. I'll read them out and then we make a decision.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So we got rock hard from a blue chew. I have to think of my wife's sister to glue goo to glue glue. My dad's a juju but my mom is not. Few folks. Then we got Race Bader Ginsburg. Then we got rekindling with my wife after Donnie T. Sends my gamar back to the doctor. And then we got dreamt about you FFs and woke up with a drippy glue gun. And my pillow is now in my ass.

[Giannis Pappas]

Okay. So we can drex through that one.

[Chris DiStefano]

Pillow in the ass. Okay. Is great.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah. Thank you for your service. Any other day I think we can Drexler Ruth Bader. Ruth.

[Chris DiStefano]

Race Bader Ginsburg.

[Giannis Pappas]

Race bader Ginsburg. Any other day you're going on the list.

[Chris DiStefano]

So to you it is between rekindling with my wife after Donnie T. Sends my Kumar back to the doctor. Or rock rock hard from a blue chew. I have to think of my wife's sister to glue glue. My dad's a juju, but my mom is not. Phew.

[Giannis Pappas]

Phew. I'm gonna. I'm gonna do something that's never been done. What? I'm gonna do something that's never been done. Tony, put them both. We got two winners today. Why do you choose between those two? Jesse agrees. I'm making the right move. I'm making the right move. Okay, we've. This is. They're both so funny that you can't pick one over the other. It can't be done.

[Chris DiStefano]

So, Tony, if you're listening, you were going to have to put on the list the winners is a two way tie this time for the ppw of our patreon.com historyainas Fans rekindling with my wife after Donnie T. Sends my gumar back to the doctor. And rock hard from bluechew. I have to think of my wife's sister to glue glue blue. My dad's a juju, but my mom is not. Few. Few.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah, because they're both sort of in the same vein too. Like.

[Chris DiStefano]

Right.

[Giannis Pappas]

It may never happen again on this show. But there's two winners.

[Chris DiStefano]

But that's it, folks.

[Giannis Pappas]

Sometimes it happens.

[Chris DiStefano]

Well, we love you. Thank you for listening. Tell your friends. History hyenas is back.com for all the info. Our show dates. We got everything else up there. And patreon.com history Hyenas Live Show, Gotham Comedy Club, February 26th. Tickets are probably on sale now. If they're not, get them as soon as they go on sale because the first one sold out in like 20 minutes.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris DiStefano]

So you're going to want to get.

[Giannis Pappas]

Them and see me this weekend in Tempe and then Chicago and then Philly this month.

[Chris DiStefano]

History.

[Giannis Pappas]

Hyenas is back.com for tickets for Tiki Wikis.

[Chris DiStefano]

That's it. Oh, and yes, I also, I forgot I If you're. If this episode's out Thursday, right, folks? This episode's out Thursday. I am doing. The tickets are announced. I am doing Madison Square Garden, September 11, 2025. The pre sale code is happening right now. The code is. Christ, if there might not even be a pre sale code by the time you hear this, but Madison Square Garden in the arena. I need you to get come there and tell all your friends. ChrisD comedy.com history I ain't is is back.com. you know, obviously this is the biggest show I've ever done, so just buy the tickets now.

[Giannis Pappas]

The arena and it's C H R I S S Y C H R.

[Chris DiStefano]

I S S Y. Is the presale code happening right now? Madison Square Garden. It's been my only real dream to ever do that. It's the only. I only started comedy to do do that or make a sitcom about my father. And that's why I started. And then I started podcasting do pods with my best friend again, Giannis Pappas.

[Giannis Pappas]

Get those tickets.

[Chris DiStefano]

Go to Madison Square Garden, September 11, 2025. There's some news that President Trump might be there.

[Giannis Pappas]

Yeah.