The Jewish general that started the Israel Palestine conflict - History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas

Summary4 min read

Podcast Summary: "The Jewish General That Started the Israel-Palestine Conflict"

Podcast Information:

Title: History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas
Hosts: Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas
Episode: The Jewish general that started the Israel-Palestine conflict
Release Date: March 6, 2025

Introduction In this episode of History Hyenas, comedians Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas delve into the complex and contentious origins of the Israel-Palestine conflict. With their trademark blend of humor and historical anecdotes, the hosts aim to shed light on pivotal events that have shaped the longstanding dispute between Israelis and Palestinians.

Overview of Historical Context The discussion begins with an overview of ancient Judea, highlighting the interactions between the Jewish people and their neighbors, including the Canaanites and Philistines. The hosts draw parallels between historical events and modern-day dynamics, emphasizing the enduring nature of regional conflicts.

Chris Distefano [01:21]: Introduces the episode's focus on the heart of the Israel-Palestine issue.
Yannis Pappas [02:09]: References the first Roman expulsion of Jews and mentions Bar Kochba, likening himself humorously to "Chrissy Kochba."

Roman Influence and the Bar Kochba Revolt A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the Roman Empire's intervention in Judea and the subsequent Bar Kochba revolt (66-136 CE). The hosts explore how the Romans' conquest and oppressive policies laid the groundwork for future tensions.

Yannis Pappas [23:21]: Explains the origin of the term "zealot," connecting it to fervent Jewish groups resisting Roman rule.
Chris Distefano [22:10]: Highlights Bar Kochba as a pivotal figure whose failed revolt against Rome led to severe repercussions for the Jewish population.

Impact of the Masada Fortress The hosts discuss Masada, a fortress where Jewish rebels made a last stand against the Romans. This event symbolizes the determination and ultimate tragedy faced by the Jewish resistance.

Chris Distefano [19:12]: Describes Masada as a fortress where Jews defended against Roman forces, drawing a parallel to the American Alamo.
Yannis Pappas [20:03]: Compares the final stand at Masada to historical American resistance, emphasizing the futility and loss involved.

Renaming to Palestine and Diaspora Hadrian’s decision to rename Judea to Syria Palaestina marked a significant attempt to erase Jewish identity and heritage from the region. This act sowed seeds for future identity conflicts and contributed to the Jewish Diaspora.

Yannis Pappas [43:20]: Explains Hadrian's renaming of the region to Palestine, referencing its historical enemy, the Philistines.
Chris Distefano [43:27]: Discusses the implications of this renaming on Jewish identity and the ensuing diaspora.

Modern-Day Implications Transitioning to contemporary times, the hosts draw connections between ancient conflicts and the present-day Israel-Palestine situation. They analyze the power dynamics, technological advancements, and geopolitical strategies that influence the ongoing struggle.

Chris Distefano [48:58]: Compares the modern strength of Israel to historical Jewish resilience, noting advancements in technology and military capabilities.
Yannis Pappas [49:13]: Highlights the improbability of Hamas countering the Israeli Defense Forces effectively due to the significant disparity in resources.

Host Interactions and Humorous Takes Throughout the episode, Distefano and Pappas engage in humorous exchanges, often veering off-topic to share personal anecdotes and playful banter. While their comedic style adds levity to the heavy subject matter, it occasionally touches on sensitive and controversial topics.

Chris Distefano [52:12]: Makes light-hearted comparisons between historical figures and modern personalities, blending humor with historical facts.
Yannis Pappas [58:46]: Incorporates playful remarks that blend contemporary references with historical narratives.

Conclusion As the episode wraps up, the hosts acknowledge the complexity of the Israel-Palestine conflict and the challenges in finding a resolution. They encourage listeners to engage with historical facts while maintaining their comedic perspective.

Yannis Pappas [60:57]: Summarizes the historical grievances of both Israelis and Palestinians, emphasizing the enduring nature of the conflict.
Chris Distefano [61:08]: Concludes with a humorous note, urging listeners to explore more content on their platforms.

Notable Quotes:

Yannis Pappas [43:20]: "And that's why even the name Palestine today, to some Jewish people, modern day Jewish people think that's even disrespectful."
Chris Distefano [48:58]: "They just have better technology, better weapons, bigger army."
Yannis Pappas [49:13]: "They have the most weapons, they have the most money. They are the strongest they've ever been."

Final Remarks History Hyenas offers an unconventional and comedic exploration of serious historical events. While the hosts strive to make history engaging and accessible, their approach includes humor that sometimes borders on controversial. Listeners are encouraged to approach the content with an understanding of its comedic intent while recognizing the sensitivity of the topics discussed.

For more in-depth discussions and additional content, listeners can visit patreon.com/historyhyenas.

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Transcript1,006 lines

[00:01]
Chris Distefano
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. Their enemies, the Philistines that got rid of them. And then we just jump to when the Romans jump into the picture, because we are the history hyenas. We're not really detailed. So the Romans show up. The Romans come into the picture and they're like the Americans for you. Yes, they're like the Americans.
[00:41]
Yannis Pappas
The good guys.
[00:45]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, a good guy.
[00:47]
Yannis Pappas
So the good guys show up.
[01:21]
Chris Distefano
Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. Today we are going to be getting right to the heart of what the complicated issue is in Palestine or Israel, depending on what you want to call it. Judea. Whatever you want to call it. I'm sitting here with someone who was forced to learn Jewish history, and it made his hair change back into the Christopher Reeves curl, and he got a little nauseous and had to go to the bathroom, but we got the Jewish history in him. Your genes were resisting.
[01:53]
Yannis Pappas
They were resisting. And make no mistake, today we're going to be talking about Israel versus Palestine, where it all started. The first Roman expulsion of the Jews and a man known as Bar Kochba. And I'm just going to call myself Chrissy Kochba for this. And with me is Giannis, the Palestinian. Pop.
[02:10]
Chris Distefano
We're here. This is a very fascinating.
[02:13]
Yannis Pappas
It's wild.
[02:13]
Chris Distefano
Oh, it's such a fascinating tale.
[02:15]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, you guys wanted history. Well, now you're going to get it today, so you better not complain at the end of this episode, too. I'm getting a little sick and tired of our History Hyena fans complaining. Okay? Mom and dad are back together, so you shut the fuck up.
[02:27]
Chris Distefano
Shut the fuck up. And why are you still reading the comments?
[02:29]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, I just. I. I just read a couple on Reddit.
[02:33]
Chris Distefano
Oh, okay.
[02:34]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[02:34]
Chris Distefano
What are you doing on fucking Reddit?
[02:35]
Yannis Pappas
Because they just email me.
[02:36]
Chris Distefano
Because that's like being a Jew and going into a Palestinian neighborhood. That's a bad neighborhood.
[02:42]
Yannis Pappas
Neighborhood. Can't do it.
[02:43]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, it's tough.
[02:44]
Yannis Pappas
Can't do it.
[02:44]
Chris Distefano
It's tough. It's like crossing over from the west bank without the proper papers.
[02:49]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is.
[02:50]
Chris Distefano
Not good. Yeah, we got a little bit of a quagmire of a situation over.
[02:54]
Yannis Pappas
It's not good.
[02:54]
Chris Distefano
And we grew up around Jews because we were in New York. But you didn't meet one until your teenage years because you were in German. Ridgewood Queen.
[03:00]
Yannis Pappas
That's what it is. I didn't. I didn't meet. I didn't meet a Jewish person until I met my friend Dana when I was 24 years old because I was insulated inside the safety of Catholicism, where there's just not a holy land to fight over.
[03:11]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, there's.
[03:12]
Yannis Pappas
And the thing is. And if you start to run your mouth a little bit as a Catholic, the positive thing is we don't get. Here's the thing, we don't. Israel and Palestine, they don't have any. They don't have any Fail safe. They don't have any ways to stop running their mouths. They can just keep fighting and fighting and fighting and cause war in Catholicism. What happens is you start to get a little mouthy and then you find a priest, you just get plugged. So.
[03:40]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, they don't plug it up. It's a pacifier. So called the Catholic pacifier.
[03:42]
Yannis Pappas
Exactly. People look at it as a negative, but we don't have war.
[03:45]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[03:46]
Yannis Pappas
Because we got a look, Father Bill. Penis in the mouth.
[03:49]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So basically what it is, the pacifiers that were made now in China and made out of rubber are. They actually were made out because of the.
[03:58]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is.
[03:59]
Chris Distefano
The first.
[04:00]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is. And we are immediately demonetized. Immediately demonetizing the first. So what we're going to do here is Jesse's going to do a little editing magic. He's going to put this part that was at the beginning, at the end, because the algorithm people only listen to.
[04:12]
Chris Distefano
The first five or you know what happens a lot of times when we talk, the real hyenas show up and they just start cackling.
[04:19]
Yannis Pappas
That's what there's just.
[04:20]
Chris Distefano
That's just a. Just a gaggle of hyenas show up and they just start cackling over our words. And that's just what happens.
[04:25]
Yannis Pappas
That's what it is. And if you want to hear what we actually said, where we are going absolutely wild off the rails, then, you know, you got to go to patreon.com history hyenas. That's the only place where we can really be us.
[04:34]
Chris Distefano
Yes. Because there was one instance in history where the Jews did have a kingdom. Right. Had a kingdom in what was called Judea.
[04:45]
Yannis Pappas
I still think they have one today. It's in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
[04:48]
Chris Distefano
It's there. They got that one. And they. They securely have something Called Israel Israel. They have that. But they constantly got to have the guns up.
[04:58]
Yannis Pappas
Right?
[04:58]
Chris Distefano
It's not a relaxing time. No, they can't just chill.
[05:01]
Yannis Pappas
No.
[05:02]
Chris Distefano
CBD is not going to make them relax.
[05:03]
Yannis Pappas
It ain't going to even work in.
[05:05]
Chris Distefano
Israel because constantly you're going to hear sirens and there's, there's rockets coming at you. And Rocket man is just, that song is just happening in Israel.
[05:13]
Yannis Pappas
All. Yeah, yeah. To them, Rocket man to us is Elton John, but to them it's Benjamin Netanyahu.
[05:19]
Chris Distefano
That's what it is. He's Rocket Man.
[05:22]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[05:23]
Chris Distefano
So where did it all start? How did this all happen? I mean, it starts, you know, much like, much like.
[05:30]
Yannis Pappas
Take us through it.
[05:31]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, you got, you got the, you got the, you got the Talmud and you got the Bible.
[05:35]
Yannis Pappas
The Talmud is the, is the verb. Is the Jewish Bible.
[05:38]
Chris Distefano
No, that, that is the Torah.
[05:41]
Yannis Pappas
Got it.
[05:41]
Chris Distefano
Then you got the.
[05:42]
Yannis Pappas
Is the Talmud like the US Constitution?
[05:44]
Chris Distefano
No, the Talmud is oral rabbinic traditions. You know, it's not a reliable.
[05:51]
Yannis Pappas
It's like the Ten Commandments, sort like that. Okay. Because you got to equate everything. Yanni's going to explain Israel, Palestine to myself and the audience here, but you're going to have to equate everything for me to either Catholicism or the United States.
[06:02]
Chris Distefano
That's it.
[06:02]
Yannis Pappas
Because I don't understand anything outside of that.
[06:05]
Chris Distefano
Okay, well, there's one boo boo in the Talmud that I was not familiar with, but it has no historical significance. And you have to remember it was during the, the context of when the Christians and the Jews were kind of doing a lot of fighting because Christianity had cut off. But they, according to the Talmud, some very religious Jews who created the Talmud think that Jesus right now is swimming in his own excrement in hell.
[06:29]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[06:30]
Chris Distefano
And it's just what it is that his mother was a whore.
[06:32]
Yannis Pappas
That's what some people say is how it goes.
[06:34]
Chris Distefano
I wasn't aware that this was a real thing.
[06:36]
Yannis Pappas
Here's what.
[06:37]
Chris Distefano
It's just true.
[06:38]
Yannis Pappas
If we could just get a live camera into St. Matthias right now. A candle was just lit by the hand of Lynn Di Stefano. She just lit one and your face is on that candle. She just lit one for you.
[06:47]
Chris Distefano
So my advice, Jews like Netanyahu should just get on air and be like, I know a lot of you be on Internet and you researched what's in the Talmud. We don't believe that because most Jews obviously don't believe that. But it is something that's a boo boo that's in there. A boo boo. If you love Jesus.
[07:01]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[07:02]
Chris Distefano
Which is on your. You have tattoos of it.
[07:04]
Yannis Pappas
I mean. Yeah, I do love Jesus. I mean, I got the cross on my arm.
[07:07]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So I'm not trying to ral you up, but, you know, that just shows that there was a lot of infighting between religions. Right. I think that's mostly what you take from that. But the Jews, they come out of Egypt, right? They come out of Egypt where they were slaves. They come out of Egypt and they come to an area at the time that really had no name, but there was some people called Canaanites there and Philistines there. The Jews fight them.
[07:28]
Yannis Pappas
So Canaanites and Philistines. Hold on. Canaanites and Philistines are like Native Egyptians.
[07:32]
Chris Distefano
They're like Native Americans. They don't really exist anymore.
[07:35]
Yannis Pappas
Got it. So can the way Shakshit.
[07:37]
Chris Distefano
But so they were a people that just kind of.
[07:41]
Yannis Pappas
So Canaanites and Philistines are kind of like the Native Americans of Egypt.
[07:46]
Chris Distefano
Right.
[07:46]
Yannis Pappas
Because here's the thing. Anytime.
[07:48]
Chris Distefano
I don't know what Egypt has to do with this, but. Yeah.
[07:50]
Yannis Pappas
Because I can only equate it to American history.
[07:52]
Chris Distefano
Okay.
[07:52]
Yannis Pappas
So whatever you're Native. Whatever country in like, you would be like the Native Americans of Germany, the Native Americans of Greece. Everyone's a Native American. But you don't have to be an American.
[08:00]
Chris Distefano
Right. So you're a Native American. Right?
[08:02]
Yannis Pappas
That's what it's.
[08:02]
Chris Distefano
Native Americans of what ended up becoming Judea.
[08:06]
Yannis Pappas
Got it.
[08:07]
Chris Distefano
Or the Kingdom of David.
[08:08]
Yannis Pappas
Got it.
[08:09]
Chris Distefano
Right. Or whatever. So the Jews come there, they fight the Philistines. Right. They fight the Canaanites. They, they. They interbreed with the Canaanites. That. Whatever, there's people there. Did the Jews get there and they found. They found a kingdom. Found a kingdom.
[08:22]
Yannis Pappas
What year are we talking? We're talking way back, way before Jason.
[08:26]
Chris Distefano
Remember numbers?
[08:27]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[08:27]
Chris Distefano
Even when the tip comes from a tip, I just pass it to my wife to do the Math.
[08:30]
Yannis Pappas
Just do 30%.
[08:31]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. We're talking about way before Jesus.
[08:33]
Yannis Pappas
Way before that.
[08:34]
Chris Distefano
You can understand that?
[08:35]
Yannis Pappas
I can understand. Yeah. Jesus. I can understand.
[08:37]
Chris Distefano
I'm talking way, way, way before Jesus.
[08:39]
Yannis Pappas
Okay, great. Jesus.
[08:40]
Chris Distefano
He's not around yet. Okay. Me and you were not around yet. So then they're there and they're Jews and they start doing what Jews do. Right? They dance. They throw on Frisbees, whatever it is. They eat latkes.
[08:52]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[08:52]
Chris Distefano
They separate the meats from the cheeses.
[08:54]
Yannis Pappas
Yes.
[08:54]
Chris Distefano
And most importantly, they start cutting the hoods off of penises.
[08:57]
Yannis Pappas
That's what it is.
[08:58]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[08:58]
Yannis Pappas
So they invented that, the circumcision that.
[09:00]
Chris Distefano
They really did the circumcision. And they didn't really care about the chafing of the nerves there because Jews, they don't care. It's just for reproduction. And then the woman just takes their balls off. Anyway, they don't really care about the penis because the woman just fudgeing beats them down.
[09:16]
Yannis Pappas
So a circumcision then they knew back then that it was there was the point of it was to desensitize the people a little.
[09:23]
Chris Distefano
No, I'm just making a joke. Yeah, yeah, I'm making a joke.
[09:26]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[09:26]
Chris Distefano
They did it for sanitary reasons.
[09:28]
Yannis Pappas
Got it.
[09:28]
Chris Distefano
The same reason why they separated the meats and cheeses, because back then you don't want the meat to get infected or whatever. So then they make it a religious thing. But really it was about sanitation at the time. It was a wise thing to do. And the Jews, they're just. The brains are just as big and the penis is not. So it's just what it is. Yeah, Same thing with the Chinese. You notice like, when the blood goes to the brain, the penis gets smaller.
[09:51]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is.
[09:51]
Chris Distefano
Right. And I don't want you to infer the opposite of that if you're racist. Listening to this.
[09:55]
Yannis Pappas
You can't have it all.
[09:56]
Chris Distefano
You can't have it all. Yeah, you can't have it all. And this is all jokes. There's no scientific study to prove that. But listen, if I say it on Joe Rogan, there's a possibility it's true.
[10:06]
Yannis Pappas
That's what it is.
[10:07]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So because we're not in that era of like what studies support anything. Yeah. So they have their kingdom, right? They have their kingdom.
[10:14]
Yannis Pappas
They finally get the kingdom.
[10:16]
Chris Distefano
They beat the Philistines, they beat the Canonites, they interbreed, then they're there and then they, they create a temple there. They get their temple and they all go to the temple and they worship. It's their holy land, whatever. Then the Romans come into the. The picture.
[10:31]
Yannis Pappas
Romans are the big guy, a whole bunch of stuff. No, but the wrong but, but this is important because now that the Jews are kind of living with no enemy in modern day Israel for years, right?
[10:40]
Chris Distefano
They con, they beat their enemies. The Philistines, they got rid of them. And then we just jumped to when the Romans jump into the picture because we are the history hyenas. We're not a really detailed. So the Romans show up, the Romans come into the picture and they're like the Americans for you.
[10:52]
Yannis Pappas
Yes.
[10:53]
Chris Distefano
They're like the Americans.
[10:53]
Yannis Pappas
The good guys.
[10:57]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. A good guy.
[10:59]
Yannis Pappas
So the good guys show up.
[11:04]
Chris Distefano
So. Yeah. And we're still before Jesus, right? We're still before Jesus.
[11:08]
Yannis Pappas
The big guy.
[11:09]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So. So the good guys. Yeah, if you want to call them that. They're. They. They start running stuff, Right. They're a big war machine. They're doing stuff. They conquer everything.
[11:20]
Yannis Pappas
Sure.
[11:21]
Chris Distefano
They conquer Greece. They take a lot of Greek ideas and they just make it better.
[11:24]
Yannis Pappas
That's what it is.
[11:25]
Chris Distefano
They work. But they conquer them. They conquer every. They conquer North Africa, then they conquer all the way over there. And the Jews are there and they're living. And now they got to live under.
[11:34]
Yannis Pappas
Romans because the Romans just took it. There wasn't even really a fight. The Roman.
[11:37]
Chris Distefano
They just take stuff.
[11:38]
Yannis Pappas
They take everybody.
[11:39]
Chris Distefano
They just. At this point, we're just. The Romans got stuff.
[11:42]
Yannis Pappas
We're just taking it.
[11:42]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. And the Jews just love being Jewish. Is that the best way we can say it? Like, once you're in. I don't know what it is because I'm not Jewish, but it's sort of like, you know, they just love it.
[11:53]
Yannis Pappas
They really identify with being Jews.
[11:55]
Chris Distefano
There's got to be some fucking amenities that they don't tell us about.
[11:58]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[11:59]
Chris Distefano
Because they also keep it secret. They don't want you in. Right. They don't want you in.
[12:03]
Yannis Pappas
Very difficult to become a dude.
[12:04]
Chris Distefano
Gotta have. Yeah, you got. I don't know.
[12:06]
Yannis Pappas
I don't know.
[12:06]
Chris Distefano
I mean, can you convert Amari Stoudemire? Did. I think you technically can. Yeah, I think you technically can, but you can. What you gotta go through. You got to, like, rip somebody off in a business deal and. And cut a line on Broadway. What are you going to do? You got to become a slum lord. I think you got to. I think you got to be a landlord. But wait, a black neighborhood.
[12:27]
Yannis Pappas
But you.
[12:28]
Chris Distefano
But way song.
[12:29]
Yannis Pappas
But you. Jesse, because your mother was Jewish, you're born Jewish.
[12:34]
Chris Distefano
That's what they say.
[12:35]
Yannis Pappas
That's what you say. Just like, if you're born, you know, legally, if you get born in the confines of the United States, you're. You're a US baby.
[12:40]
Chris Distefano
I'll tell you the type of Jew Jesse is. Jesse's. He's got an Italian father, so he hasn't really identified with the Jew until you get older.
[12:49]
Yannis Pappas
Got it?
[12:49]
Chris Distefano
He's one of those that when he gets older, all of a sudden he starts learning a little more about Israel. He starts, you know, because that's what the mothers just. Just get in there.
[12:57]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[12:58]
Chris Distefano
The Jewish mothers, they just. They get a grip.
[13:01]
Yannis Pappas
I've been.
[13:01]
Chris Distefano
I grew up around so many Jews.
[13:03]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[13:04]
Chris Distefano
My mom's best friend was a Jew. And I tell you, I just saw it with my own eyes. I saw it with my own eyes at Christmas price. I mean, this guy could not have been a bigger defense attorney.
[13:12]
Yannis Pappas
Right?
[13:12]
Chris Distefano
Okay, Now, Colin Quinn married his daughter.
[13:15]
Yannis Pappas
Yes.
[13:16]
Chris Distefano
Okay, so he married his daughter. So if they ever watch this, she's probably not gonna be happy about what I'm saying, but she won't be able to dispute it because she lived it.
[13:23]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[13:23]
Chris Distefano
I mean, this guy could not have been a bigger defense attorney. Defending drug dealers, mafia bosses.
[13:28]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[13:28]
Chris Distefano
Cuban drug suppliers. I mean, these guys were dangerous guys. Okay. And they loved him. When I went to the funeral that actually Colin was in, it was like a speech from. It was at this. This girl's bar, his ex wife's. The people that spoke. One guy had like a nail pointed that. He was like from like Colombia. He was like, listen, I really love Stanley. He was that great. These were criminals, right? This guy was dealing with arch criminals. Then he would be around his wife and his wife would just say, stanley, put that down. You're fat. You can't eat that. Yeah, Stanley, shut up. You're making no sense.
[14:00]
Yannis Pappas
Right?
[14:00]
Chris Distefano
Stanley, you're talking too long.
[14:02]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[14:02]
Chris Distefano
Stop talk. And he would sit there like this meek eunuch, right. And just fudgeing. Take it.
[14:07]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[14:08]
Chris Distefano
And during the day, he would boss around these goddamn criminals. I mean, this is just. It's a matriarchal society where the mom just fudgeing crushes you with guilt.
[14:16]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[14:16]
Chris Distefano
Just gets you going.
[14:17]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is.
[14:18]
Chris Distefano
I don't know what it is. It's Tiger mom for Jews. So I think it's more like a fucking matzo ball.
[14:23]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[14:23]
Chris Distefano
They really. I don't know what a Jewish animal is, but it would complain a lot.
[14:26]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[14:27]
Chris Distefano
Which one? In the animal kingdoms. Fucking complain.
[14:29]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[14:29]
Chris Distefano
And that's why they didn't take Greenland, because it's fucking too hot. It was too cold.
[14:33]
Yannis Pappas
Too cold.
[14:33]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So we got off on a tangent that should have been Wei Zhong Jing.
[14:38]
Yannis Pappas
It's probably all patriot. It's probably all at patreon.com/history hyenas right now. But that's okay.
[14:43]
Chris Distefano
That's okay. It's okay. So they get there. They get there and then. And then they start being like way Jewish, right? So they're up there and they're like, we're Jews. We're Jews. And the Romans are like, yeah, but you're Roman subjects. We're going to be taking a lot of taxes.
[14:54]
Yannis Pappas
Yes.
[14:55]
Chris Distefano
We're going to be fucking you the way we fuck everybody else.
[14:57]
Yannis Pappas
You got to stop circumcising people. That was a big thing. They thought that that was barbaric. Okay, we're not there yet.
[15:02]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, they're letting them, but they're going, like, we just need your money. Then you got Roman viceroys over there. They start robbing money from the temple. There's some bad ones, some good ones. The Jews don't like it. Right. And the Jews eventually get. We don't like this. It's time they go. They have a meeting that. You know. They all have secret meetings.
[15:18]
Yannis Pappas
Right?
[15:18]
Chris Distefano
Right. And they have this secret. They go, we got to do something about these Italians. Which is one of the best lines from Sopranos when he goes, you see we're still around and where's Rome? It's one of the best lines. You remember Sopranos?
[15:30]
Yannis Pappas
No.
[15:30]
Chris Distefano
He's trying to extort the Hasidic Jewish motel owner. And the guy's just taking a beating. And they're going. And Sil's going, like, I don't know what to do with these people. They don't fucking give in.
[15:39]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[15:40]
Chris Distefano
Like. Because they have their religion and stuff. And so he says to Tony, the guy he's like, beaten down on the floor, he's like, you'll never take our spirit. The Romans tried to do it. Everyone tried to do it. Germans. And we're still here. Where's Rome? Where are the Romans? And Tony Soprano goes, you're looking at him, asshole. It's the great.
[15:57]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[15:57]
Chris Distefano
As they're beaten. And then they kill him.
[15:59]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[16:00]
Chris Distefano
But anyway, so then. So then the Jews go, we got the revolt. We can take these guys, right? Big boo. Boo. Big mistake.
[16:07]
Yannis Pappas
Big mistake. Yeah.
[16:07]
Chris Distefano
That's like going against the United States.
[16:09]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. You made a mistake. You had the revolt, which I understand in theory seems like a good idea. But then you. Too many people die and you get crushed.
[16:16]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So they try the first one. So we go all the way to the first Jewish Roman war, which is 66. That's where we'll start the story. I gave you a little context, but you know what? Yeah. If you have any complaints, go into the comments.
[16:27]
Yannis Pappas
Right?
[16:27]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. And I assume you're Jewish, so.
[16:30]
Yannis Pappas
Right. And we're still, by the way, we're still before Christ. So we're still what I like to call. We're not in the safe zone yet.
[16:35]
Chris Distefano
We're not in the safe.
[16:36]
Yannis Pappas
Once Jesus. Once you start to see whatever number ad, just know you're in the safe zone. You have been saved by Christ.
[16:42]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[16:42]
Yannis Pappas
And before that, you weren't saved.
[16:43]
Chris Distefano
You weren't saved. And this whole era, I guess, was run by the devil.
[16:45]
Yannis Pappas
Then that's what it was. You were just. You're just not in the safe zone.
[16:48]
Chris Distefano
You're not in the safe zone. So the first war starts. 66 CE, which is after Christ. So Christ was crucified. Blah, blah, blah.
[16:57]
Yannis Pappas
No, CEB isn't that. Isn't that before?
[17:00]
Chris Distefano
That's before.
[17:00]
Yannis Pappas
CE used to be bc, but now they change it to ce.
[17:04]
Chris Distefano
Oh, wait, so this all happened before Jesus?
[17:05]
Yannis Pappas
This is before Jesus.
[17:06]
Chris Distefano
You got a CE would be before.
[17:09]
Yannis Pappas
Right before Christ.
[17:10]
Chris Distefano
Are you sure?
[17:11]
Yannis Pappas
Ce? Why did they change from CE to bc? From BC to ce?
[17:16]
Chris Distefano
Probably wokeness.
[17:17]
Yannis Pappas
It's so.
[17:17]
Chris Distefano
So it's AD is after Christ.
[17:19]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[17:20]
Chris Distefano
Okay, so this is before Jesus.
[17:22]
Yannis Pappas
Let me find out. What. What does it mean? What does CE mean?
[17:24]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, what does CE means? So while you're looking that up, I'll just say that was the first revolt. That's when the first revolt happened, when the Jews said, we've had enough. We're rising up our arms and, you.
[17:34]
Yannis Pappas
Know, oh, no, CE is ad. Giannis is right. CE is A. Because bc, it's common error.
[17:42]
Chris Distefano
Don't have a question of Greeks. Brilliant.
[17:44]
Yannis Pappas
Common error. And then the other one is BC before common era.
[17:48]
Chris Distefano
Yes. So you can't. And that's how, you know Jesse's not Jewish. Because he's stupid. Yeah, he was Jewish. He would have a bigger brain. Yeah, yeah. Jesse's life and. And. And also Louis Katz's career is evidence that the Jews don't run everything. That's just, you know, that's just got to see a mediocre Jew and you realize, oh, they're just like us. Yeah, that's the problem. They think they're all fucking crushed today. I mean, go fucking Jesse's apartment the.
[18:14]
Yannis Pappas
Size of my closet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[18:17]
Chris Distefano
All right. Yeah, it is. But that could be because you're half Italian. You could have that, you know, like, if you're full Jew, maybe you'd be running a corporation. Right? And maybe the Italian is like, I want to live in a basement, Ma. No, I. Dude, I got the best life. I don't care what you say. You do have a great life. You do. You do.
[18:35]
Yannis Pappas
You have the less stress, least stress of all of us. Yeah.
[18:38]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[18:38]
Yannis Pappas
100 yeah.
[18:39]
Chris Distefano
Okay. So did you show up and this happened because, like I said, the taxes. Romans were brutal. They were brutal with everybody.
[18:47]
Yannis Pappas
Right, right.
[18:48]
Chris Distefano
So they're brutal. Religious tensions. The religious tension is the one that really. The Jews are just want to be Jewish. And it ended. This is where this. The temple, the holy temple, the second temple was destroyed.
[19:02]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[19:02]
Chris Distefano
So this is making.
[19:03]
Yannis Pappas
Yes.
[19:04]
Chris Distefano
Angry. Now the Jews are angry.
[19:05]
Yannis Pappas
You knocked out my house.
[19:06]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. And then Masada is the famous thing. A bunch of Jews ran up there and they fought off the Romans.
[19:11]
Yannis Pappas
Wait, no. What was it? I don't know about it.
[19:12]
Chris Distefano
Masada, it's a fortress up there in Israel. In Israel now.
[19:17]
Yannis Pappas
Okay.
[19:17]
Chris Distefano
And I've actually walked it.
[19:19]
Yannis Pappas
You went there?
[19:19]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So a lot of Jews will walk up it to kind of commemorate. And they were able to survive up there, but then they were killed.
[19:24]
Yannis Pappas
So this is where the name Mossad comes from. The Mossad. Is it from the. From.
[19:28]
Chris Distefano
That could be, but I don't know that. But I don't think so because Mossad is M O S S A D. And what is M A S, S A D A. Yeah. So.
[19:38]
Yannis Pappas
So the Masada, though, it was the temple. You're saying Masada.
[19:41]
Chris Distefano
No, Masada was like a fortress. The fortress fortified themselves. And they were shooting at the Romans.
[19:47]
Yannis Pappas
Did you. And what. And this is be. This is a what?
[19:50]
Chris Distefano
This is the first revolt.
[19:52]
Yannis Pappas
Okay, got it.
[19:53]
Chris Distefano
The first revolt. This is how it ended with Masada. And they're. They were able. They did like a Spartan 300 thing where they were able to take some Romans out, but they was.
[20:00]
Yannis Pappas
They all got killed.
[20:01]
Chris Distefano
It was what you call a pyric victory.
[20:03]
Yannis Pappas
Got it.
[20:04]
Chris Distefano
Right.
[20:04]
Yannis Pappas
They all got killed.
[20:05]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, it was just. Yeah, it was.
[20:06]
Yannis Pappas
It was like. Remember the Alamo? Yeah, so.
[20:08]
Chris Distefano
Right, exactly.
[20:09]
Yannis Pappas
Exactly. This was just got a killer make. American.
[20:12]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. This is the Jewish Alamo.
[20:14]
Yannis Pappas
So this is the Jewish. These are the Jewish Alamos. Okay. Yeah, Jewish. Davy Crockett.
[20:19]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, Jewish. David.
[20:19]
Yannis Pappas
His name was David.
[20:21]
Chris Distefano
Is there a more overrated historical site to visit than the Alamo? Yeah, just a rock wall. It's empty in there.
[20:27]
Yannis Pappas
It's empty in there. And then you just go across street to Ripley's Believe it or not and you have a good time. That's what it is when you go to San Antonio.
[20:33]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. San Antonio is brutal.
[20:35]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[20:35]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[20:36]
Yannis Pappas
But I like that riverwalk.
[20:37]
Chris Distefano
You do. You like what it fights. You get to look at a Best Western sign.
[20:40]
Yannis Pappas
I like. Yeah, but I kind of.
[20:41]
Chris Distefano
People pee in that thing.
[20:42]
Yannis Pappas
I like, walk. Yeah. And there's Human shit on the streets. But I like it.
[20:45]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So then we go to the second revolt, right, which was called the Ketos War. It was a smaller revolt, and it was basically Jewish communities got it around the Diaspora, outside of quote, unquote Judea, across the Roman Empire. This is sort of a religious nationalist movement where they're just like, we're rising up against this taxation against the Roman.
[21:06]
Yannis Pappas
Empire 100 years after Jesus right now.
[21:08]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. It happened in North Africa, Cyprus, Crete. There was some Jews there, Mesopotamia.
[21:14]
Yannis Pappas
So little kind of Jewish uprisings, but nothing really big yet.
[21:17]
Chris Distefano
No, nothing big.
[21:18]
Yannis Pappas
Kind of little sparks.
[21:19]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. And this was another mistake. It was again, brutally repressed by the Romans.
[21:22]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[21:22]
Chris Distefano
But they're feisty.
[21:24]
Yannis Pappas
They're feisty.
[21:24]
Chris Distefano
The way to call the Jews back then is they're fucking frisky.
[21:27]
Yannis Pappas
They're frisky.
[21:28]
Chris Distefano
They're frisky. If you're a Roman, you're going, you're sitting there, you're drinking your wine, you're having your unit blow you, and you're going, these frisky fucking units.
[21:34]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. These frisky Frisbees.
[21:36]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. The frisky Frisbees are being frisky again.
[21:43]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. It's what it is. And, but. But you respect that there's a nature, there's a. There's a kind of, like, aggression that they have. There's a will to. To fight and stand up for Judaism. She's got to respect that. The kids will fight.
[21:56]
Chris Distefano
You gotta respect, like. Yeah. How much chutzpah.
[21:59]
Yannis Pappas
They had a lot of chutzpah the kids do have.
[22:01]
Chris Distefano
They have chutzpah.
[22:02]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[22:03]
Chris Distefano
So then the big one and the one we're focusing on and the one that really mattered happened, which set the course of fucking global history.
[22:11]
Yannis Pappas
This is.
[22:11]
Chris Distefano
It is a fucking guy named Bar Kopka.
[22:16]
Yannis Pappas
Bar Kokopa.
[22:17]
Chris Distefano
How do you pronounce it? Bar Kop. Kochba. This guy was a fucking religious zealot. And he was also a badass Bar.
[22:24]
Yannis Pappas
And now Bar Kochba, he is kind of like in. If you compare it to American history in a way, not like a George.
[22:34]
Chris Distefano
Washington, more like a Yorgos Kirakakis.
[22:36]
Yannis Pappas
He's like a Yorgos Girakakis who we did an episode on, who was a Greek warrior who, like our American warrior who, like, fought against the mighty British. I guess it would be like a. Like a. Like a George Washington, like a fighter like that Washington. Like the Founding Fathers. Like a guy who just fought back against the Brits.
[22:52]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. The only difference was George Washington one and Yorgos, Gary Skakis, one and bar cop bad. He did it when he didn't win, and it was a bad loss.
[23:04]
Yannis Pappas
It's. But it's. Yeah.
[23:06]
Chris Distefano
Sometimes you got to calculate, like, do we got a chance? They thought they had a chance.
[23:10]
Yannis Pappas
Well, they initially. Right.
[23:12]
Chris Distefano
Initially were doing good.
[23:13]
Yannis Pappas
They were winning. They recaptured Jerusalem and again Judea back.
[23:17]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So he was a zealot. Now, people aware. Now, this here's where you get a little hhfod.
[23:21]
Yannis Pappas
Let's do it.
[23:22]
Chris Distefano
A little history hyena fact of the day. People go, where does the word zealot come from? From. Right. Where did that start? And a lot of people go, oh, it probably started with trans Nazis.
[23:31]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[23:31]
Chris Distefano
No, no. Probably go. Started with Christian fundamentalists. No, the word zealot comes from a group of Jews who were fervently religious and did not want no thin messing with their Jew.
[23:45]
Yannis Pappas
Nothing.
[23:45]
Chris Distefano
They wanted no thing.
[23:46]
Yannis Pappas
Yes.
[23:47]
Chris Distefano
With their Jew.
[23:48]
Yannis Pappas
So they were. So when you hear someone was a zealot. There was actually a sect of Judaism all those years ago that were all about their religion. They love Judaism. And now they're still, to this day, referred. They were zealots. Back then. It was a religion call. But now it's just a term for someone who's all about their religion.
[24:04]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. It comes from a Greek word, but it got known. It comes from a Greek word meaning admirer. Right. Follower. But it became known as a religious maniac because of this time in history where we had the Pharisees and the Zealots. There were two Jewish groups, Right. And they were fighting with each other. They had different things, different philosophies and stuff. Right. And they were fighting with each other. And he was a zealot and they were nationalists and they wanted to fucking take some ways.
[24:35]
Yannis Pappas
It was a civil war and a war against the Romans at the same time.
[24:38]
Chris Distefano
Yes. Yeah. They were fighting with each other. Not all the Jews wanted to rebel against Rome.
[24:43]
Yannis Pappas
Just like in.
[24:44]
Chris Distefano
In.
[24:45]
Yannis Pappas
Just like in colonial America, you had the loyalists.
[24:47]
Chris Distefano
Yes.
[24:47]
Yannis Pappas
Who were loyal to the British crowd and they didn't. Like the patriots who wanted to fight.
[24:51]
Chris Distefano
Against the Brits, dare I say. Yeah.
[24:55]
Yannis Pappas
Yes. So which one? Which one? Because like in the Loyalists, you know, obviously in Revolutionary War, the loyalists is. We just call them pigs. So which ones were the pigs in this? Was it the Zealots or the Pharisees?
[25:06]
Chris Distefano
The Pharisees. Pigs. Yeah, pigs. But unfortunately, it turned out that the Pharisees were right.
[25:11]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is.
[25:12]
Chris Distefano
We shouldn't have done this where it.
[25:13]
Yannis Pappas
Turns out the loyalists were wrong.
[25:15]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, they were wrong here.
[25:16]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[25:16]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. Because they're going up against the Roman Empire. So it was a. They were. You got to understand the Romans were. They were good at one thing. They were really good at one thing, the Romans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was one of the biggies, actually.
[25:31]
Yannis Pappas
Yes.
[25:31]
Chris Distefano
And the.
[25:32]
Yannis Pappas
Adrian was a big time guy.
[25:33]
Chris Distefano
He was a fucking gay. There's a few gay Roman empires and they happen to be some of the best.
[25:39]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. You could tell. Even Hadrian's like, you know, gold bust of him. I mean, he's got TikTok hair.
[25:45]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[25:45]
Yannis Pappas
He's got like the bangs and everything. I mean, he's just a gay kid.
[25:47]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, that kid was a flamboyant gay. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's some gays that are. Hadrian was a gay and Trajan was a fucking gay.
[25:53]
Yannis Pappas
He's a gay kid.
[25:54]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. I mean, they were all kind of gay.
[25:56]
Yannis Pappas
Ish. It's what it is.
[25:57]
Chris Distefano
But I think there was a few of them that were just like, like eventual gays.
[26:01]
Yannis Pappas
And it's one of those things where you just don't come out in public anymore unless there's a zin in your lips.
[26:06]
Chris Distefano
I just don't. There's got to be a Zen.
[26:07]
Yannis Pappas
You just look like you live in Whoville now because you're lift. If people that don't know say Yanni, what is. Did Yanni get plastic surgery? Did he get his lips done? The answer is no. He's just got his zinni up in his gum.
[26:16]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, because as you said, I'm a zinner.
[26:18]
Yannis Pappas
You are a zinner. You are a zinner.
[26:21]
Chris Distefano
But today I'm a Lucifer. Oh, because I'm having a Lucy.
[26:25]
Yannis Pappas
I Love Lucy. Co really is great. Go there.
[26:28]
Chris Distefano
What's the promo code?
[26:29]
Yannis Pappas
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[26:52]
Chris Distefano
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[27:06]
Yannis Pappas
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Chris Distefano
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[27:27]
Yannis Pappas
A hundred percent, guys. I mean, because I got up the other night in the middle of the night to pee and the light switch just turned on because my boner hit it.
[27:34]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, your glue gun will. Thank you.
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Yannis Pappas
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[27:49]
Chris Distefano
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[27:49]
Yannis Pappas
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[28:13]
Yannis Pappas
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[29:15]
Chris Distefano
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[29:35]
Yannis Pappas
All right, so go ahead, tell us.
[29:37]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, so this is. Yeah, you guys are. You're the. You, you. The Romans were the original Germans.
[29:43]
Yannis Pappas
We were the original Germans. Yes. Yes.
[29:47]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, we're trying to get rid of the Jews.
[29:48]
Yannis Pappas
That's why when we were watching a documentary about it and they were using AI to, like, recreate the war, there was a Roman soldier on a horse who looked exactly like me. Because the truth of the sit is is probably in every single turn of my lineage. If there was a fight for. If there was a chance to fight the Jews, my ancestors came calling.
[30:08]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, you do.
[30:09]
Yannis Pappas
You. You.
[30:09]
Chris Distefano
The Roman soldiers probably looked a lot like you. They were fair. They had those big heads. You look like. It's funny because you got the personality of the Jew and you have the face of the Jew predator.
[30:20]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is.
[30:21]
Chris Distefano
Very confusing.
[30:21]
Yannis Pappas
It's very confusing.
[30:22]
Chris Distefano
Makes you so unique is because you're. I've never met a more anxious guy. Yeah, you're an anxious guy. So you chew your fingernails like a Jew, and then your face looks like you're trying to kill yourself.
[30:33]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is. Yeah. Yeah, it's very fascinating, which I probably will one of these days. Just like Gene Hackman. I mean, the kid.
[30:40]
Chris Distefano
Was that what happened?
[30:41]
Yannis Pappas
I think Gene Hackman killed himself. Killed his wife and killed his dog. Because, make no mistake, I think the kid showing up on the Epstein list.
[30:46]
Chris Distefano
You think so?
[30:47]
Yannis Pappas
Which is supposedly coming out today. Yeah.
[30:49]
Chris Distefano
Well, you know, Trump was good friends with him, too. Do you think he just took his name off? Off?
[30:52]
Yannis Pappas
He could have, yeah.
[30:53]
Chris Distefano
You know who else was good friends was RFK Jr. You know, RFK Jr. Really like pussy. He did.
[30:58]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[30:58]
Chris Distefano
And so did Trumpy.
[30:59]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is.
[31:00]
Chris Distefano
No, Bill Clinton did, too.
[31:01]
Yannis Pappas
Names are going to be on the list. And if you see any type of list circulating out there with mine and Giannis's and Jesse's names on it. No, it's been. Doctor.
[31:08]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. No. Yes. The only. The only list I'll be showing up on is the list of comedians who performed on the Burt Kreischer cruise. Yes. And I didn't see any underage abuse. Right. But what I did See, was just very bad alcoholism. It's what I did. I did see a lot of that.
[31:28]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[31:29]
Chris Distefano
So that's what I saw.
[31:30]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[31:30]
Chris Distefano
And a lot of people wonder, like, is that true? I can say, yeah, it's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's certain people who got drinking problems.
[31:36]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[31:37]
Chris Distefano
It's what it is.
[31:38]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is.
[31:38]
Chris Distefano
I won't say who.
[31:39]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[31:39]
Chris Distefano
But a lot of people do drink a lot.
[31:41]
Yannis Pappas
You could just turn on your local Netflix and you'll see them.
[31:44]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah. So we got the Pharisees saying, hey, wait, I don't know if this is a good idea. Let's just ride it out. And then these guys were going, this is our fucking time. And they start having some early victories. Things start going good, and they win a little bit. And then the Romans go, he's fucking frisky frisbees.
[32:04]
Yannis Pappas
Right?
[32:04]
Chris Distefano
These frisky frisbees are making us really go to town now.
[32:08]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[32:08]
Chris Distefano
And then they came back with more forces. They marched down and they did boo boos. They did bad, bad boo boos. Yeah. This was boo boos.
[32:17]
Yannis Pappas
The Romans did.
[32:18]
Chris Distefano
The Romans did a big boo boo. They lost a lot of soldiers. The Jews fought valiantly. They really did. They also dug tunnels. It's kind of what they do.
[32:25]
Yannis Pappas
They are good at tunnels.
[32:26]
Chris Distefano
They do make tunnels. So when you say, why were there tunnels in New York City and whatever, like they originally were in Judea.
[32:32]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is. Yeah.
[32:33]
Chris Distefano
Well, that's what guerrillas you. It's a really good guerrilla tactic. Even the Viet Cong, I think, did that. They created tunnels and they pop up and they'd shoot them until the Romans got the hang of it. And then they just set those tunnels on fire.
[32:44]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is. Yeah, yeah.
[32:45]
Chris Distefano
They. They acted like terriers.
[32:47]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[32:47]
Chris Distefano
And they just ratted them out.
[32:49]
Yannis Pappas
Hitler. The Germans used to use dachshunds like my. Like Larry RIP Larry. They used to throw a little dachshunds in there.
[32:54]
Chris Distefano
Just get them.
[32:55]
Yannis Pappas
Just get them. Just go bite and get them. Because they had long, fat, little hot dog bodies.
[32:58]
Chris Distefano
And, you know, it's funny because you can't help but see the parallels. I'm not. No implications of this. But. But Hamas had tunnels too. It's what it is because they're technically the guerrilla fighters fighting for what they think is their land.
[33:09]
Yannis Pappas
Yes. I saw a video about. I saw a video on Hamas, and this is. Was just obviously not our opinion, but just the opinion of this person made the video said, Hamas only exists because where Israel took our land. So we're not terrorists. We're just fighting for.
[33:24]
Chris Distefano
To protect our land from their perspective. And actually, factually, there's truth to that.
[33:28]
Yannis Pappas
And then they say, and then they say, but why'd you have to blow up a bus of innocent people? They said, because we're protecting our land.
[33:33]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. Well, that part, it is, that part is a jump. That's what you call leap of logic.
[33:36]
Yannis Pappas
That's what we call logic. It's. Why do you have to kill babies? We're protecting our land. Yeah.
[33:40]
Chris Distefano
That's a leaping log.
[33:41]
Yannis Pappas
That, that, that one. I didn't see that. That makes too much sense. But I don't have any sway. I don't have any fight in the game. I'm not gonna. The thing is.
[33:50]
Chris Distefano
Thank God. Yeah. Let me just say. Thank God.
[33:52]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. The thing is, you can't get me to pick a side. I'm here in free American soil, so I understand that things are unfortunate outside the confines of this great nation with this great laws.
[34:02]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[34:03]
Yannis Pappas
But I, I, I'm not.
[34:04]
Chris Distefano
You're a fucking patriot.
[34:05]
Yannis Pappas
I'm not going to get involved. And I got to be honest with you, even though I am a human being and I love my human brother.
[34:10]
Chris Distefano
I love that you're a human being.
[34:11]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[34:12]
Chris Distefano
That's what I love about your queen's action. You're a human being.
[34:15]
Yannis Pappas
I'm a human being.
[34:15]
Chris Distefano
You're a human.
[34:16]
Yannis Pappas
I'm a human being. I'm not, I'm not a fucking animal. I'm not an animal. But I got to be honest with you.
[34:21]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[34:21]
Yannis Pappas
Our brains, okay, in their current state, weren't designed to take in all the problems in every corner of the world. And I know there's a lot of issues, but I gotta be honest with you. I'm living safely here in the confines of your lab.
[34:31]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[34:32]
Yannis Pappas
And. And I like that. And I'm happy. So I got news for you about your wars in other countries. I don't care.
[34:37]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[34:38]
Yannis Pappas
I just don't care. And I'm sorry. I know that on social media or the media or Hollywood, you got to get involved. I don't care.
[34:44]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[34:45]
Yannis Pappas
I'm living here. If I go over there, then I'll care.
[34:47]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[34:47]
Yannis Pappas
And if it comes here, when it comes here, I'll care.
[34:50]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[34:50]
Yannis Pappas
But I'm not going to do anything. I can't do anything here. I got too much going on.
[34:53]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[34:54]
Yannis Pappas
Okay. I got everyone. I mean, you know what I mean? I got to drive these kids to dance. So I don't care. I got too many things. I got a million gigs. Yeah. I'm just trying to get by myself. So I don't care.
[35:05]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. Okay.
[35:06]
Yannis Pappas
You could put up your flyers and your posters and get mad on the Internet, but other than that. Cuz, I don't care.
[35:12]
Chris Distefano
And let me just piggyback off that. I agree. I'm out.
[35:15]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[35:16]
Chris Distefano
I'm out.
[35:16]
Yannis Pappas
I don't care.
[35:17]
Chris Distefano
I'm out. Let me tell you something. I'm out.
[35:19]
Yannis Pappas
If there's a war between Brooklyn and Queens, I'll care.
[35:21]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[35:21]
Yannis Pappas
And I'll get involved. We're out.
[35:23]
Chris Distefano
It feels good to be out.
[35:24]
Yannis Pappas
I don't care. You know, you live your whole life, it's like, I don't know what you want. Baby, you're here, not there.
[35:29]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. Yeah. You know, some things I just can't fix. You can't. You know, you guys figure it out. I'm shutting it off. I'm becoming shut off to this issue right after this shut off.
[35:37]
Yannis Pappas
It's like, it's.
[35:38]
Chris Distefano
It's.
[35:38]
Yannis Pappas
You know, it's like the ancient stoic said, don't suffer twice. There might be a problem that arises at our doorsteps. I'll deal with that then.
[35:45]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. I radically accept this problem and I'm leaving it alone.
[35:48]
Yannis Pappas
I'm leaving it alone. And I just. It's fun to talk about, but I gotta be honest with you, babe.
[35:53]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[35:53]
Yannis Pappas
It ain't for me. It ain't got nothing to do with me.
[35:56]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[35:56]
Yannis Pappas
I'm sorry, cuz.
[35:57]
Chris Distefano
Now let me ask you a question. I just. When I. When you were ranting like that, I just said, you know, we're all products of our conditioning. I know there was times where you did something and you came home and your mom moved the vegetables a little bit.
[36:11]
Yannis Pappas
100.
[36:11]
Chris Distefano
She pulled out a couple Sam Adams.
[36:13]
Yannis Pappas
She moved the veggies to the side. She pulled a couple Sam.
[36:15]
Chris Distefano
She had some things to say.
[36:17]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[36:17]
Chris Distefano
About sinners.
[36:18]
Yannis Pappas
Yes.
[36:18]
Chris Distefano
And was I just watching Lynn? Yeah. Yeah.
[36:21]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[36:21]
Chris Distefano
Because after she moved the veggies.
[36:23]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. Because sometimes. Sometimes what? Lynn would just come home from a long day at work. She. She'd throw her high heel shoes off. She had a. She'd have a hole in her stockings and her big toe would be coming out and she'd be having an extra large sutter home wise infidel. And she started talking about my good for nothing father and the good for nothing people that she's got to work to pay for their welfare. And so she would just say that because it was a hot August day. Around my birthday where she, she, she couldn't pick up my Carvel cake because the train was late because he's fucking good for nothing's on the train. So it's just what it is. And then she got to pay for the goddamn. Her tax money's got to go pay for welfare. And then, you know, in the divorce, your father's getting a piece of the.
[37:00]
Chris Distefano
House and it's bullshit, right?
[37:02]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, it's just what it is.
[37:03]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. And she would throw. But she would move the veggies. She'd put the celery to the side and.
[37:07]
Yannis Pappas
Yes.
[37:07]
Chris Distefano
Blow off some steam.
[37:08]
Yannis Pappas
Blow off some steam. And, and, and then she would usually just make me go back to the YMCA camp where I would go every summer. And then she would just pay a little bit extra. What I knew about. Here's what my mom would do too. And something that I only found out when I was later, I, she would, I would go to YMCA camp, right. For, for two weeks in the summer. And I thought. And then they would pick me up. I'd go every day from 8:00am to 6:00pm yeah. And. And then they would pick me up at 6pm because I thought my mom was just, you know, working late and she could only get there at 6pm But I didn't realize till I got older that she actually, when she took me to YMCA camp, she also was on a two week vacation. So she just had eight hours of just freedom away from me. And she picked me up as late as possible. And I just thought she was at work all day, but it's really. She was just sitting there hanging out.
[37:47]
Chris Distefano
She was just breathing.
[37:48]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. Just fucking breathing.
[37:49]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. She was just getting a break from. Of Chrissy K. Yeah.
[37:52]
Yannis Pappas
She's just a little too much because I look like my dad. I kind of act like my dad. Yeah. So I think she was like, you know what? I need two weeks a year to not look at that.
[38:00]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. At what point did she nickname you Disturbed?
[38:05]
Yannis Pappas
That wasn't, that was my aunt. Oh, your aunt call me Disturbed? My aunt called me Disturb. And that was probably around 1314 when they found my porn stash. That's what it is. When I had the, what we call the Spanish porn, it was a blue vhs, like a royal blue colored vhs which looks different and you know, most of them were black. And I had it inside the 1992 Dream Team documentary case.
[38:26]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[38:26]
Yannis Pappas
So I had that in there and I think my mom popped that out and she put that, she put the tape and thinking for my. I guess cousins were. Little cousins were there and she thought that they were going to watch a documentary on the NBA on 1992 Dream Team. And instead you just saw a little Colombian puss.
[38:41]
Chris Distefano
That's just what happened.
[38:42]
Yannis Pappas
That's what it is. So then that got smashed into a million pieces in a hammer.
[38:45]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[38:45]
Yannis Pappas
And it was a post it on that said get this filter out of my house. And I walked down the stairs and I had the garbage bag throwing it out and my aunt from downstairs smoking a cig said you're disturbed. And that was just. That's just a regular. What we call. What we call that as a Ridgewood day.
[38:59]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. That's just a day.
[39:00]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[39:00]
Chris Distefano
The same thing happened to me with my wife when my mom. What a Freudian slipped out was my mom found the porn in the. In the vcr.
[39:08]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[39:08]
Chris Distefano
It was just. It's a very uncomfortable feeling.
[39:10]
Yannis Pappas
Very uncomfortable feeling. But now I feel like moms nowadays wouldn't.
[39:12]
Chris Distefano
But thank God it wasn't gay porn.
[39:14]
Yannis Pappas
That's.
[39:14]
Chris Distefano
That would have made it. That's what I could should have said to my mom. It's like it's not gay porn.
[39:18]
Yannis Pappas
It could have gotten been way worse.
[39:19]
Chris Distefano
For you because she just rejected that.
[39:22]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[39:22]
Chris Distefano
She just was she most liberal woman in the world, but she just did not understand homosexuality what it is. She just wasn't on board with it.
[39:28]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[39:28]
Chris Distefano
She just didn't think. She thought it was bad. Yeah. Yeah.
[39:30]
Yannis Pappas
Because it's in the Bible that's supposedly it's bad in the Bible, but there's nowhere in the Bible that even mentions it.
[39:34]
Chris Distefano
No, it doesn't even mention it. And the Bible was written by men and you know, a few of them were blowing each other. It's what it is.
[39:41]
Yannis Pappas
Just like a few of these. Just like a few of these frickin in the bar. Cockpa. Revolt. Revolt. I mean, you know, there's a better.
[39:48]
Chris Distefano
Way to call it the bar Kakba.
[39:49]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. I mean there might have been some fucking there too because that's just what the ancient guys used to do.
[39:53]
Chris Distefano
They just blow a little steam. You don't want to worry about getting a girl pregnant or anything.
[39:56]
Yannis Pappas
No.
[39:57]
Chris Distefano
That sometimes you just want to blow off in a guy's mouth.
[39:59]
Yannis Pappas
It's easier. You know what? Because you know what? Honestly, my boyfriend is not trying to push me to a house we can't afford.
[40:04]
Chris Distefano
That's another thing what it is. Yeah.
[40:06]
Yannis Pappas
You know, my boyfriend understands the mortgage rates a little bit better. Yeah. And how renting is not a bad.
[40:10]
Chris Distefano
Option, it's more equal. Just two guys, similar sized brains, having a discussion.
[40:14]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. My boyfriend gets it sometimes my boyfriend gets it. I'm leaving the show as soon as I can. Even though I can sit and have fun in Fort Lauderdale, I'm leaving so I can tuck the girls in at night.
[40:22]
Chris Distefano
Right.
[40:22]
Yannis Pappas
My boyfriend, he will understand that.
[40:24]
Chris Distefano
He would appreciate it.
[40:24]
Yannis Pappas
He would appreciate it. I wouldn't just be getting yelled at and I'm working too much.
[40:27]
Chris Distefano
Right.
[40:27]
Yannis Pappas
My boyfriend would see all the other stuff, Right.
[40:29]
Chris Distefano
And you'd say, hey, I'm working so much. So we have this lifestyle.
[40:31]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[40:32]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. And your guy would. Your friend would get it.
[40:34]
Yannis Pappas
My friend would get it.
[40:35]
Chris Distefano
Just don't get it.
[40:36]
Yannis Pappas
They don't get it. And also, my boyfriend would blow me a little bit.
[40:38]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. That's actually something that my boyfriend would.
[40:43]
Yannis Pappas
Just kind of distress me a little bit. Just make sure I don't go outside in the streets with a load of glue gun because I'm a little stressed out.
[40:48]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. You know, a lot of people, A lot of people look at married guys who get. Go off and get blown by dudes and they go, go, oh, that guy's secretly gay. No. Maybe that guy's just married.
[40:57]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[40:57]
Chris Distefano
And he needs a fucking blowing.
[40:59]
Yannis Pappas
That's all it is.
[40:59]
Chris Distefano
So you're taking what you could get. Yeah, maybe it's just that. Yeah, maybe he just wants someone willing to blow.
[41:04]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is. It's distressing. You know what I mean? You could take blood pressure medicine. You could hit grinder. Use grinder.
[41:10]
Chris Distefano
And you could also twist the guy's beer while he's blowing you. It's what it is. Play with the hairs.
[41:14]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. And you know what I call her? Susan.
[41:16]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. Yeah. Just throw a wig on.
[41:18]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[41:19]
Chris Distefano
That's all I do. I bring the wig with me and I just plop it on his head. All right, this is good enough. Yeah, yeah.
[41:23]
Yannis Pappas
You're making. First, you're making a cameo. That's it. And then you just have the guy in his knees. You throw the Maurice away gun and you get a blow and you walk out.
[41:29]
Chris Distefano
I take it from my head to his.
[41:30]
Yannis Pappas
That's what it is.
[41:33]
Chris Distefano
This episode is brought to you by Lifelock. During tax season, your personal info travels to a lot of places. Between payroll, your tax consultant, and the IRS. If your W2 gets exposed, that's just the ticket for identity thieves. That's why LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second. If your identity is stolen, stolen, they'll fix it, guaranteed. Or your money Back. Don't let identity thieves take you for a ride. Save up to 40 your first year. Visit lifelock.com podcast terms apply. So he loses bad. The war ends in 136. People are gone. I mean cuz, what was this ever about the history, you people? Yeah, I mean, cuz, I mean. Yeah. We just went off on a 20 minute rant about blowing. And then I go, okay, so the war ended it.
[42:21]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. So 136ce with the fall of Batar.
[42:24]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So that was his last stronghold. He gets killed.
[42:27]
Yannis Pappas
He got killed there. And this is a big thing because this is like Georgia. This should be like. If the, you know, the Bar Kochba revolt would be like. And Bar Kokba gets killed and the Romans just kill everyone. It would be like if George Washington, the founding fathers were not successful. The British then just wipe away this idea of America and kill everybody. This is what happened here.
[42:47]
Chris Distefano
Oh yeah.
[42:47]
Yannis Pappas
In 136 CE.
[42:49]
Chris Distefano
I mean they, the Romans killed children, they punished everybody. It was just. They had had enough.
[42:54]
Yannis Pappas
It got bad.
[42:54]
Chris Distefano
They had enough. They were like, you guys are too frisky. You're revolting too much. And Trajan, I'm sorry, Hadrian, who was actually is considered one of the best emperors.
[43:04]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[43:05]
Chris Distefano
He. He comes down hard.
[43:06]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[43:07]
Chris Distefano
And he's like, kill them all.
[43:08]
Yannis Pappas
Right. And so he wanted to erase Jewish identity from Judea. Like get rid of the Jews completely. Even the there. The ideology of it is gone.
[43:16]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[43:17]
Yannis Pappas
That's what he wanted.
[43:17]
Chris Distefano
All gone. So they're all kicked out. They're not allowed to be there anymore.
[43:21]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[43:21]
Chris Distefano
So they're gone. So that's what started.
[43:23]
Yannis Pappas
But you cannot kill a Jew. And you know why?
[43:26]
Chris Distefano
Exactly. Right, Exactly.
[43:28]
Yannis Pappas
That was turn right.
[43:29]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. They turn and they around. You know what? No, A bunch of them, what they did was they jumped in Roman sandals.
[43:33]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[43:34]
Chris Distefano
And they rode on out of there. Yeah. That's. We got to have laces to the feet were exposed. They hid between the toes.
[43:41]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[43:41]
Chris Distefano
They just. Something they can do.
[43:44]
Yannis Pappas
Something they could do.
[43:44]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So they. So, so a lot of them just took some ride on some. On some Roman feet, got out of there. So this is what started the Jewish Diaspora. This is when they lost their homeland.
[43:56]
Yannis Pappas
This is when they lost their homeland. And here's what happened. Hadrian, what he does a big thing that he does which has major implications as of today is he renamed it Syria Palestinia to sever the Jewish connection. And the reason why he did that is because this, this Palestinia was their ancient Enemy, Right.
[44:11]
Chris Distefano
The Philistines.
[44:12]
Yannis Pappas
The Philistines. So he named it after that. So that's why even the name Palestine today, to some Jewish people, modern day Jewish people think that's even disrespectful, that that's the name if you know the history of it, Right.
[44:22]
Chris Distefano
And Syria was a Roman province. So he's basically saying it's Roman Palestinia.
[44:27]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[44:28]
Chris Distefano
So that's the first time we hear the word P became Palestine later, Right? So he's calling it Palestinian based on the Philistines as another you to the Jews.
[44:38]
Yannis Pappas
Right. It'd be like if here, if we lost the war, the 13 colonies, we're not calling America, they would just call it America, you know, they would call.
[44:44]
Chris Distefano
It Britannica or they'd call it like the Cherokee Nation. They'd call it the British Cherokee Nation.
[44:49]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, just right in your face.
[44:50]
Chris Distefano
Right in your face.
[44:51]
Yannis Pappas
Right?
[44:52]
Chris Distefano
You're fucking. We're done with you.
[44:53]
Yannis Pappas
Yep.
[44:54]
Chris Distefano
And Jerusalem was renamed to Alea Capitolina.
[44:58]
Yannis Pappas
Alia Capitolina, which is a girl that grew up in my neighborhood.
[45:01]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. Just a nice Italian girl who will jerk you off on a rock with a Catholic school outfit on.
[45:07]
Yannis Pappas
It's just what it is. Just sounds like a girl from Carol Gardens, where Jesse's from.
[45:10]
Chris Distefano
Because the first hand job I got was from a girl from Sade Saviors on a Rock.
[45:13]
Yannis Pappas
I believe it.
[45:14]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. And it took a long time to get me to bust because at that time I was jerking myself off a lot. She just wasn't as good.
[45:20]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is. It's what it is good. And she was sitting on a rock, or as the Jews call it, a.
[45:24]
Chris Distefano
Palestinian, or as Jews call it Israel. It thinks a rock.
[45:28]
Yannis Pappas
It's a rock.
[45:29]
Chris Distefano
I mean, but they turned it into a nice.
[45:31]
Yannis Pappas
But it's cute. Now it looks like Miami, right.
[45:33]
Chris Distefano
I haven't been there in a while, but it's. Yeah, it's really cute. And they don't, you got to say, they don't have oil. They don't got any natural resources really, or anything. And they turn that shit into a fucking first world country. I mean, the Jews just figure out a way because they do just have big brains.
[45:46]
Yannis Pappas
They're big. They are. I think Ashkenazi Jew specifically is the highest intelligence.
[45:51]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. They have human IQ average or something. They're just smart. I mean, you look at all the Nobel Peace Prizes they win. They're so overrepresented in everything now. That's either because of the Jewish conspiracy. I don't even know what that means. Yeah, but they're overrepresented everything based on their population. And if you know Jews, it's just because they. They fucking are like annoyingly smart. And they just do a lot of school shit.
[46:12]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[46:12]
Chris Distefano
You know what I mean?
[46:13]
Yannis Pappas
Right?
[46:14]
Chris Distefano
They're annoyingly smart.
[46:15]
Yannis Pappas
They are. They're very, very smart. They're smarter than the Chinese, actually.
[46:17]
Chris Distefano
Well, like your dad said, those are the new Jews.
[46:20]
Yannis Pappas
Those are the new Jews.
[46:21]
Chris Distefano
They are very smart.
[46:22]
Yannis Pappas
They are very smart.
[46:23]
Chris Distefano
They're dominating.
[46:23]
Yannis Pappas
They are.
[46:24]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. It used to be like, you know, you go to Harvard, you'd see an overrepresentation of Jews, which you probably still see, but now it's just all Chinese.
[46:31]
Yannis Pappas
I will tell you this. I will tell you this. I did a gig yesterday down in Florida and their girl running the event was. I'm talk about a 12 out of 10. I mean, a smoke show. And I thought she was Latina, but she was from Israel.
[46:43]
Chris Distefano
So.
[46:44]
Yannis Pappas
Israel, when the women of Israel are, I mean, mind blowingly gorgeous.
[46:49]
Chris Distefano
Yes.
[46:49]
Yannis Pappas
Like, it's, it's something like. It's almost like they're like girls from Sweden. Like, you've never seen a girl as beautiful as that in Israel.
[46:55]
Chris Distefano
Well, there's a lot. There's a lot of Sephardic Jews.
[46:57]
Yannis Pappas
Right?
[46:57]
Chris Distefano
There's like. And they Middle east. Had a lot of Jews.
[47:00]
Yannis Pappas
Fart on my face.
[47:01]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[47:01]
Yannis Pappas
What I want.
[47:05]
Chris Distefano
And they're very.
[47:05]
Yannis Pappas
I want to eat their farts.
[47:07]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So. So. And it does. You know, you look at it. Look, there was Jews in Arab countries. They got kicked out and they left.
[47:14]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[47:15]
Chris Distefano
They weren't treated well. And it, it is. There are 2 million Arabs in Palestine. No, in Israel.
[47:22]
Yannis Pappas
In Israel.
[47:23]
Chris Distefano
In Israel. Israeli citizens.
[47:25]
Yannis Pappas
There are 2 million Arabic people living in Israel. Right. Right now. So they. So what side are they on now in all this?
[47:32]
Chris Distefano
Well, I.
[47:33]
Yannis Pappas
Are they Zionists?
[47:34]
Chris Distefano
No, a lot of them like Israel. It's a lot of people outside Israel don't understand how like. And that's when I gave up. I was like, look, there would be like some person in the Middle east telling me about Brooklyn and Queens. Like, there's so many things in different neighborhoods. There's so many different types of Israelis in this conflict. There's been ones who are less moderate, more extreme religious, non religious. And then the Arab side, you had the Yasser Arafat who, who turned down this deal? That deal? Iran.
[48:02]
Yannis Pappas
What was the, what was the Yasser Arafat deal? I mean, they wanted to give him their own country state.
[48:06]
Chris Distefano
They were going to give him a State. Yeah, they were going to give him a state.
[48:09]
Yannis Pappas
And he said no.
[48:10]
Chris Distefano
And he said no. They've said no many times. So it is what it is.
[48:13]
Yannis Pappas
So then honestly, truly, how they always have a reason.
[48:16]
Chris Distefano
They go, oh well it was going to be. And it's like, okay, well what do you want then? Now you got no.
[48:21]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. Like how did it. Do you think in our lifetime it can possibly end where somebody will say.
[48:27]
Chris Distefano
Like the only way it's going to end is by force and that's going to cause more resentment and something bad could happen and that's.
[48:33]
Yannis Pappas
And, and, and right now. Because here's what we were saying before too. Here's the truth is right now the state of Israel, the Jewish state, is the strongest it's ever been in history. They have the most weapons, they have the most money. They are the strongest they've ever been. Like back in Bar Kochba's time, they couldn't. Didn't beat the Romans. They had no chance. Where now it's almost a reverse where the Jews are. David. The Jews are Goliath in there and the Palestinians in some way are David. Meaning they're much smaller.
[48:58]
Chris Distefano
Right.
[48:59]
Yannis Pappas
So the pal. If the Jews wanted to, if they were. If Israel wanted to and there were no cameras, nobody was watching, they would wipe out Palestine. If this was ancient, if this was antiquity and there were no cameras and they would just. We. There's no way that Hamas could stand up to the idf. It's not possible.
[49:13]
Chris Distefano
Right.
[49:13]
Yannis Pappas
They have so many more weapons, just not possible. Like they, they just have better technology, better weapons, bigger army.
[49:18]
Chris Distefano
What Hamas was hop for with this last attack that Netanyahu.
[49:22]
Yannis Pappas
October 7th.
[49:22]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. That Netanyahu allowed to happen because he was about to go to trial and he was very unpopular.
[49:28]
Yannis Pappas
So he did. That's. Is that a truth Bader Ginsburg?
[49:30]
Chris Distefano
No, it's not A truth begins or that's why I did a George Bush duck.
[49:33]
Yannis Pappas
Oh. Because it's a conspiracy.
[49:35]
Chris Distefano
It's a conspiracy.
[49:35]
Yannis Pappas
Okay.
[49:36]
Chris Distefano
It's a conspiracy. Because if you think in like.
[49:37]
Yannis Pappas
Because he knows everything, they see everything. So how could they let that happen?
[49:40]
Chris Distefano
Let that happen? I mean you go like, was that like a little thing where it's like, hey listen, this down the road, this will achieve our objectives and we'll just go in there and wipe them out.
[49:48]
Yannis Pappas
But as a Palestinian, as someone sitting in Palestine, could you say, could you take the approach of the ancient Jewish people saying Bar Koch but didn't need to happen because now so many people got killed for it. That's what some Palestinians, I'm sure, are saying that some Palestinian elders are saying, I understand October 7th is for a Palestinian pride, but now we're all dying again.
[50:05]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. I mean, there's a lot. You can draw a lot of parallels. You really can. I mean, you really can. Initially, when the British Mandate of Palestine happened, you know, they were offered they were going to split the land. The Jews agreed.
[50:19]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[50:20]
Chris Distefano
The Arabs rejected it. So that, that just happened.
[50:23]
Yannis Pappas
So the Arabs rejected. In 1948 when Israel became a state after world.
[50:27]
Chris Distefano
Right. Was it 46.
[50:28]
Yannis Pappas
This is right after World War II.
[50:30]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, right.
[50:30]
Yannis Pappas
After World War II we have this land. And then the British. The British are saying, we are going to give the Jewish people a state in Israel on this landmass and we're going to divide it evenly between the Palestinians and the Israelis. Israel, Israelites.
[50:43]
Chris Distefano
Can we just check?
[50:44]
Yannis Pappas
Because I know Israel has the water, Israel got the coast. Palestine didn't get. Palestine doesn't have any. No water yet.
[50:51]
Chris Distefano
I don't know.
[50:51]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[50:51]
Chris Distefano
I think no, because no Gaza. Gaza was on the water.
[50:55]
Yannis Pappas
But the Gaza Strip is the only place where it's like that dividing line. Isn't most of the rest of Palestine not on the other side.
[51:02]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[51:03]
Yannis Pappas
Can you pull up a map of it?
[51:04]
Chris Distefano
So looking. So Egypt, Egypt and Egypt and Egypt and what is it? Egypt and Jordan. Right. They all attacked Israel once it was formed and they were originally had certain areas, Golan Heights, West Bank, Gaza. But then Israel took it in the war, got it. And then Israel actually built up Gaza and then as a compromise, they kicked all the Jews out of Gaza and gave it to the Palestinians. So it was built up and pretty nice.
[51:33]
Yannis Pappas
Oh, my fault. So Gaza right there, Palestine is also on the water. It's split north to south, south. It's not east to west.
[51:39]
Chris Distefano
Well, now you just got. Now you have the west bank and Gaza and the West Bank's up there, right? Yeah, the West Bank's up there.
[51:45]
Yannis Pappas
So Jerusalem to Tel Aviv is. That's. That's far away because the country's not.
[51:50]
Chris Distefano
Even as big as New Jersey.
[51:52]
Yannis Pappas
Really.
[51:52]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, it's a. It's a tiny country.
[51:55]
Yannis Pappas
Israel. Israel, which is also Palestine. It's the same landmass. It's like. It's like. It's like Dominican Republic and Haiti. Yeah, it's just the same landmass cut in two.
[52:03]
Chris Distefano
And to be fair, there's never been been a Palestine. It was just a movement. Right. So they just started seeing themselves as Palestinian.
[52:12]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[52:13]
Chris Distefano
Because the Romans named the Palestinian. They're indigenous to that area. No doubt they're Muslim because they got converted by Arabs. Right, right. And when the whole area got converted by Islam. But, you know, they, they share probably a lot of DNA with Sephardic Jews. In a lot of ways. It's all in the area.
[52:32]
Yannis Pappas
They're probably all like, Jews were always there too.
[52:34]
Chris Distefano
They. It was mostly Muslim right. Before this. There's no question about that.
[52:38]
Yannis Pappas
It was mostly, mostly Moses.
[52:40]
Chris Distefano
Wait, but Jews were there too, and so were Christians.
[52:42]
Yannis Pappas
Could you zoom in a little bit, Jess? Cuz I see Jerusalem.
[52:44]
Chris Distefano
Wait, zoom in.
[52:45]
Yannis Pappas
West Bank. The west bank is Gaza.
[52:47]
Chris Distefano
Keep zooming in until you see a, A, a car bomb. Yeah, just kidding.
[52:52]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, so, yeah, so, okay, so the west bank right there is Tel Aviv. Yafo. That. That's all the West bank bank from Tel Avoid down to Gaza. Down lower where Gaza is. Gaza is in Palestine or Israel.
[53:04]
Chris Distefano
Well, Gaza or that's the one that's split.
[53:07]
Yannis Pappas
Oh, that's Palestine. Those little lines right there.
[53:10]
Chris Distefano
Gaza is a nice little tiny strip.
[53:12]
Yannis Pappas
Got it. And the Gaza Strip is, Is important why? Because you got a lot of Jewish people that live in Gaza.
[53:17]
Chris Distefano
No, you got no Jewish people live in Gaza.
[53:19]
Yannis Pappas
Got it. Gaza is for the Palestinians.
[53:21]
Chris Distefano
It's for the Palestinians. They gave it to the Palestinians as a compromise. They took all the Jews out.
[53:25]
Yannis Pappas
But. So see those little checkered black lines where it's white, where it says Gaza? That's Palestine.
[53:30]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, but the problem is those Palestinians were all over the place and they just pushed them into there.
[53:34]
Yannis Pappas
Got it.
[53:35]
Chris Distefano
I see what it is.
[53:35]
Yannis Pappas
I see. But at least they did get water.
[53:38]
Chris Distefano
They got a water, they got a guy.
[53:39]
Yannis Pappas
So I was wrong on that.
[53:40]
Chris Distefano
If you look at the videos before the bombing now, not so great. Right. But before the bombing was actually pretty cute.
[53:47]
Yannis Pappas
So. Okay, so Jesse, so this, this thing that you're pulling up, which looks like the state of New Jersey, that white, that's all palace Palestine.
[53:53]
Chris Distefano
The west bank right there and then the Golan Heights. Right, they have that too. Yeah.
[53:58]
Yannis Pappas
So wherever you see white checkered is Palestine.
[54:01]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. Yeah.
[54:01]
Yannis Pappas
So there's a part of Palestine that's divided in itself by Israel, and there's.
[54:05]
Chris Distefano
Also neighborhoods in Israel that are all Palestinian.
[54:09]
Yannis Pappas
So it's almost. There's no clear lines. They're kind of. It's all mixed in.
[54:13]
Chris Distefano
Now there's neighborhoods in Palestine, there's neighborhoods in Israel that are Palestinian that the Jews won't go. It's like dangerous.
[54:19]
Yannis Pappas
Well, like in Tel Aviv right now, if you were a Palestinian, are you living There. Can you go there? Is it okay?
[54:24]
Chris Distefano
There are some. There are.
[54:26]
Yannis Pappas
They're not treated well or there are. Treated well.
[54:28]
Chris Distefano
Some of them are.
[54:29]
Yannis Pappas
They live in harmony. A lot of them.
[54:31]
Chris Distefano
A lot of them do. They're in the government. Yeah, some of them are in the government. They have seats in the government.
[54:35]
Yannis Pappas
So then what's the issue here? Like what? Like, they. They were living peacefully. And then what happened?
[54:39]
Chris Distefano
Well. Well, the Jews moved some people and they. The Arabs rejected the partition plans, and it just became a thing of, like, whose land is it?
[54:50]
Yannis Pappas
October 7th. 7th didn't help.
[54:52]
Chris Distefano
October 7th did not work.
[54:54]
Yannis Pappas
And now the terrorists.
[54:55]
Chris Distefano
What Hamas was hoping for was.
[54:58]
Yannis Pappas
What was Hamas hoping they were hoping for?
[54:59]
Chris Distefano
October 7th would galvanize the whole Arab world and they would rise up against it.
[55:05]
Yannis Pappas
Like what Japan did with Pearl Harbor. It just didn't. They woke up the boys.
[55:08]
Chris Distefano
It's what Bar Kafka tried, and it just didn't work.
[55:10]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is.
[55:11]
Chris Distefano
It didn't work.
[55:11]
Yannis Pappas
So Pearl harbor, the Japanese woke up the boys. October 7th, Hamas woke up the Frisbee, unfortunately, they got turned on.
[55:19]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, they. What they did is they went home, they got their headbands, they got their knee pads and their sneakers, and they started playing Ultimate Frisbee.
[55:25]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is because.
[55:27]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, it didn't work.
[55:28]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is.
[55:28]
Chris Distefano
It didn't work because what the Jews did was they had an overwhelming response there.
[55:33]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[55:34]
Chris Distefano
What Netanyahu's saying, they were. They weren't hooked.
[55:36]
Yannis Pappas
They were like, he should be a new chocolate drink.
[55:40]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[55:40]
Yannis Pappas
He was going, I'm having a net in you.
[55:42]
Chris Distefano
Having a net in you. Who? He was going, you. You know, they were going, we're going to have all these hostages, and we're going to be able to fucking negotiate. Get all out. And Netanyahu just goes, you know what? The greater cause, we're just bombing on top of the hostages.
[55:53]
Yannis Pappas
We'll just kill that. So here's the truth is I know some people, and I know this is beyond debatable. I know this is very debatable, but I saw a thing that said Hamas is probably right on. They might be lying about some, but some they're saying these bodies that they're giving back, like, we didn't kill them. You did. Israel killed them.
[56:10]
Chris Distefano
Very possible.
[56:11]
Yannis Pappas
And the Israel saying, no, you killed them. And they're saying, you know, but you actually killed them with the bombs.
[56:14]
Chris Distefano
I don't know the specific specifics, but it's possible that some hostages were killed by Israeli Fire, probably.
[56:19]
Yannis Pappas
But Hamas did definitely kill some of.
[56:22]
Chris Distefano
I think they also killed some as well.
[56:24]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, I gotta be, I gotta. I. It's just, it's. It's scary and it sucks. But I just, I live in the.
[56:29]
Chris Distefano
United States and here's the problem. A lot of the people they killed at that festival and stuff were probably like very pro Palestine people. And a lot of those people lived in those kibbutzes were like very peace. That's why they're willing to live so close to there. So it's just like terrorism just doesn't fucking work.
[56:45]
Yannis Pappas
It does not work.
[56:46]
Chris Distefano
It's just not going to fucking work.
[56:48]
Yannis Pappas
It's just. We never forgot.
[56:49]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. I mean people go, John Brown or whatever. John Brown did nothing. John Brown did.
[56:55]
Yannis Pappas
Not talking about bloody Kansas.
[56:57]
Chris Distefano
I'm talking about. No, I'm talking about John Brown when he fucking rose up and killed some fucking slave owners.
[57:01]
Yannis Pappas
Oh, in West Virginia.
[57:02]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. That's not why slavery.
[57:03]
Yannis Pappas
We went and visited in Harper Ferries, West Virginia.
[57:06]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. Non violent resistance. What Martin Luther King did worked. What Gandhi did work for a little while.
[57:11]
Yannis Pappas
No terrorism, just, just nonviolence resistance works.
[57:15]
Chris Distefano
Better than terrorism because when you do terrorism, it just gives the other side an excuse.
[57:19]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[57:19]
Chris Distefano
To do what they did.
[57:20]
Yannis Pappas
Right.
[57:21]
Chris Distefano
So they just went in there and they fucking leveled Gaza. It's rubble now.
[57:25]
Yannis Pappas
Right. And unfortunately it works.
[57:26]
Chris Distefano
A lot of innocent people died.
[57:28]
Yannis Pappas
Speeches like that work. Speeches that are just heartfelt and really get to the point and get to the crux of what being a human being is that works. The problem is we call stand up comedy now. That's the issue.
[57:41]
Chris Distefano
That's the.
[57:41]
Yannis Pappas
Is you just turn that on and no one's being funny anymore. They're just telling you that, you know.
[57:45]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[57:46]
Yannis Pappas
Everyone's just trying to be a prophet.
[57:48]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah. It's just.
[57:49]
Yannis Pappas
But if you watch my special on Hulu, I'm not doing that.
[57:51]
Chris Distefano
No, he's not doing that. You're just having fun.
[57:54]
Yannis Pappas
I'm just having fun up there. I'm just telling you that white people.
[57:56]
Chris Distefano
Are back way song.
[57:59]
Yannis Pappas
She ain't.
[58:00]
Chris Distefano
Well, I mean if you didn't know that, I mean it's. There's two people on that horse that rode in to retake Take It. One of them's named Nate Bargains. The other one's Shane Gillis. And they just rode the whites right back in.
[58:11]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is because it's what it is. And they are the, they are the two leaders. And then make no mistake, the rest of us are just following Yeah.
[58:17]
Chris Distefano
I mean we're on the.
[58:18]
Yannis Pappas
They're in the tank and I'm just one of the guys on the side with the tank guarding these guys.
[58:22]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[58:22]
Yannis Pappas
But I'm getting into.
[58:23]
Chris Distefano
When you think about it, between those two guys, you got every type of American white. Yeah. Right. You got like the Christian clean white, the one who's always going to like the mega churches and then you got the beer drinking white who's like sitting around going like that's gay.
[58:38]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[58:38]
Chris Distefano
You know, so they got, between the two of them, they got all the whites and they just marched right back into the studio.
[58:44]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is. Because it's what it is.
[58:47]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. I mean if history like we said.
[58:49]
Yannis Pappas
And here's the truth, here's the good news for us, here's the great news for us, is we're just waiting in the wings. Because as soon as Shane Gillis drops dead, a liver failure and Nate Bargassi kills himself because he realized he'll never be Walt Disney, me and Yanni are walking in here, just walking, protecting the spots.
[59:09]
Chris Distefano
We're walking in like you know, at the end of, you know, at the end of Reservoir Dogs where they're all fighting over the thing and they all kill each other and then what's his name's character just picks up the case and walks out. What's his name? Bui. When Steve. Bui just picked up the case, walks out cuz everyone's dead. That's me and Chrissy.
[59:27]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, we're just walking out. That's our plan is when you don't have the talent that those guys. Guys have. So we're just gonna wait till they die and we're gonna walk right in.
[59:33]
Chris Distefano
It's just what it is. That's how it goes. And that is the story of the white man and the Jewish and Romanian.
[59:42]
Yannis Pappas
So this is where Israel and Palestine started. I hope you learned something. I mean it was, it was fun and informative for me. So now go home and tell your parents about the Bar Kakba rebellion. Is that how you say it?
[59:52]
Chris Distefano
It's a better way to say it.
[59:53]
Yannis Pappas
The Bar Kakba. Tell them about that. Tell them about why Palestine has a gripe, why Israel has a gripe, why it's probably never going to end and why you should be very. That you live in the continental United States.
[60:04]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[60:04]
Yannis Pappas
And if you live in Canada, that's you're close enough. You're there.
[60:07]
Chris Distefano
You're about to be the 51st state.
[60:09]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is.
[60:09]
Chris Distefano
It's what it is.
[60:10]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[60:10]
Chris Distefano
And tell us in the comments how we got so many things wrong and how who's right, who's wrong, why the Jews are bad, why the Palestinians are bad. And you're just. Just understand that we want you to do that, but you're also yelling at your stuffed animals.
[60:22]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is.
[60:23]
Chris Distefano
We don't know what we're talking about, but more importantly, we don't care because we're out. We've had no part of this conflict and we don't want it.
[60:30]
Yannis Pappas
We don't want it. And go to patreon.com history hyenas to see, probably to hear probably the majority of this episode because a lot of it has to be cackled out. And also to hear our live show that we did at Gotham Comedy Club. The live shows are probably the most fun that we have. And go to patreon.com history hyenas. That's where the community is, the cuz community. And it's really popping over there. And we're going to beef that up even more. But yeah, baby, I mean, this is what it is. Palestine and Israel. I just have to say no, thank you.
[60:58]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, no, thank you. Go see Chrissy D on the road. Christy comedy.com or history hyenas is back dot com. Yeah, my dates history hyenases back dot com or yanispepticomedy.com it's what it is, cousin.
[61:08]
Yannis Pappas
Follow us on Grindr Arcockba because we were talking a lot about Israel, Palestine, so, you know, I gotta end it on something American. Every episode from now on, we're gonna read a little excerpt from stuff every American should know. This is a Christmas gift from my mother. So here's the first one. We'll just go page by page. Where did America get its name? You'd think our continent would be called North Columbus.
[61:28]
Chris Distefano
Can I guess? Can I guess? Yes. Yeah. Vespuca. Amerigo.
[61:32]
Yannis Pappas
Yes. Yes. Well, it's. It's actually, it's Amerigo Vespucci.
[61:35]
Chris Distefano
Okay.
[61:36]
Yannis Pappas
But for the people that don't know. After all, when Europeans were boldly drawing maps and naming giant swaths of land, Christopher Columbus was the explorer most closely associated with travels to the far side of the Atlantic. But instead, America was named after the mysterious Florentine explorer Amerigo Vespucci. He may have made as many as four voyages to the New World, although two are disputed by his historians. In letters describing his journeys, Vespucci asserted that the newly discovered land was not part of Asia, but rather a New continent. He dubbed the New World, an idea and phrase that Columbus never put forward in 1507. In 1507, a German cartographer named Martin Vade Schmuller. Martin Vadeshmuller printed the first map featuring the word America. And he said, I can see no reason why anyone would object to calling this after the man of great ability who discovered it, wrote Vadismullah, apparently under the false impression that Vespucci's travels preceded those as those of Columbus. In the centuries that followed, many would paint Vespucci as a huckster who schemed his way into history. Ralph Waldo Emerson said with disdain, strange that broad America must wear the name of thief. Amerigo. Vespucci managed in his lying world to supplant Columbus and baptize half the earth with his own dishonest name. In truth, Vespucci probably did nothing dishonest. Modern historians believe Wattsmuller was led astray by salacious forged documents printed by scamming publishers that made it seem like Vespucci beat Columbus to the shores. When Valde Schmuller learned of his mistake, he revised the map so the continent was labeled terra incognita. Unknown land. But the name stuck. In 2023, the Library of Congress spent $10 million dollars for the only surviving version of Walter Smula's American map, now on display in Washington D.C. so that's who America was named after. A fucking German kid made sure of it.
[63:26]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, well, I mean, if he was a huckster and a fraudster, I mean, that would be perfect, because we're a country of that.
[63:32]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is. And it's funny that he got the. The writer got led astray by just lies, by fake news.
[63:38]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, fake news.
[63:38]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is. All right, everyone, as always, we go to patreon.com history hyena. Hyenas. We read the names of the newest members of the matriarchy. Go ahead and sign up over there. Patreon.com history hyenas. Get your name read out. If it's a funny name, you got a chance to be the PPW pseudo penis of the week. And we got great episodes over there, bonus episodes, bonus content. And it's probably where the most fun of this show happens. And if you really want to be part of the community, that's where you go. All right, here we go. Leading off, following that guy with the frozen grapes around like Hansel and Gretel.
[64:09]
Chris Distefano
Funny Drexler.
[64:10]
Yannis Pappas
Funny Drexler. Yeah, straight to the back like Yanni's hairline. Good one.
[64:15]
Chris Distefano
Good level. My hairline.
[64:16]
Yannis Pappas
Your hair looks good.
[64:17]
Chris Distefano
Yes, but it is funny. It is funny. So Drexler.
[64:20]
Yannis Pappas
It will join Antifa for Venetia.
[64:23]
Chris Distefano
Good. Another good one. You got it's right. It's a. Walked into one.
[64:27]
Yannis Pappas
Father Bill said talk to my dick. Then I turked it.
[64:30]
Chris Distefano
Then I turked it.
[64:31]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, turked it. Maybe meant tucked it and he misspelled.
[64:34]
Chris Distefano
No, he tried to turk it instead of jerk it. Because it was. Yeah, because the guy was fighting the Turks.
[64:39]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[64:39]
Chris Distefano
Very inventive.
[64:40]
Yannis Pappas
What do you you think?
[64:41]
Chris Distefano
Very inventive. It's a borderline. Not enough. Not enough laugh factor.
[64:45]
Yannis Pappas
But really very invent. But you're in the conversation.
[64:47]
Chris Distefano
You're going to be Drexler. But it was good.
[64:49]
Yannis Pappas
Aurora, Brandon Thompson. The great Negroni. Ricky Gaines. Somebody wrote loud of 1492America. Wow. Goes with. Isn't it weird that like there's always a name in here of something that we were just talking about. We were just talking about Columbus and now there's a name. Ladder 1492.
[65:08]
Chris Distefano
Going to chicken finger that guy. Okay, so that's an honor.
[65:10]
Yannis Pappas
I couldn't think of a name. So let me ask my dick.
[65:14]
Chris Distefano
Drexler.
[65:15]
Yannis Pappas
Okay. Magic Drexler. So now we got Magic. Magic Zhang Xian. Like Magic Johnson. Magic John Shia and full blown aids.
[65:27]
Chris Distefano
Drexler. It's a strong heavy Drexler list.
[65:30]
Yannis Pappas
Caleb Conrad. Then we got. I asked my husband's champion if I should join the Patreon. It stood up and said yes, yes. Champion. C C H A M P I G N O N. I don't know. Keith Mo. Kent Morton. Chris Minetti with the spaghetti stain and a chain.
[65:49]
Chris Distefano
Sauce Monkey Ward. Also a Drexler. We're coming out with heavy Drexlers. They're almost there.
[65:53]
Yannis Pappas
Chrissy, the UCF sorority. What? T shirt contest champ.
[65:56]
Chris Distefano
Okay, funny.
[65:57]
Yannis Pappas
Dan estrada. Agarok, Maine. Andrew McCullough. Dildo dildo baggins. Thomas Duck. Locker room talk. 2024 wasteland chicken.
[66:11]
Chris Distefano
Just put them on the list for the first.
[66:12]
Yannis Pappas
That's the first one made list. Girth Brooks.
[66:15]
Chris Distefano
We've had.
[66:15]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, we've had that.
[66:16]
Chris Distefano
What the hell? It's like the third or fourth time.
[66:18]
Yannis Pappas
Constantinos Aus. Diner Monkey Award.
[66:21]
Chris Distefano
Oh, big time.
[66:21]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. Connor plays Jeff Simpson. Chrissy consults my dick.
[66:27]
Chris Distefano
Drexler.
[66:28]
Yannis Pappas
Drexler. Bradley. She Sippy. Then we got Yanni. Yummy yummy for my cummy tummy. Okay, okay. Josephine Boran. Amy. Cuz he was he. Chrissy curly toes. Mr. Chris Arnold. Leonard Tightwad Goldstein. Christopher Harmon. Christopher Batset. Christian Matson. Aldra Star. So much loot in my glute. Call me Chrissy the Great, but only on Sundays. It's what it is. Connor Robinson. Ryan Bin Fong. Squatting over the duck sauce.
[67:00]
Chris Distefano
I put him on the list.
[67:01]
Yannis Pappas
He's on the list. Betty Blue Average Joe. Dick's Dick. Consulting. Consulting.
[67:09]
Chris Distefano
This must have been after the karaoke.
[67:11]
Yannis Pappas
Tommy. Matthew McGregor.
[67:13]
Chris Distefano
Means we're catching up, though. Yeah, we're getting there.
[67:15]
Yannis Pappas
Consult my Dicky Mettenberg. Top squeak, but I'll bottom for the Greek.
[67:21]
Chris Distefano
Put it on the list. Top squeak, but I'll bottom for the Greek. Put them on the list. List.
[67:25]
Yannis Pappas
Good. Bill Cunting.
[67:29]
Chris Distefano
Put him on the list.
[67:30]
Yannis Pappas
All right, all right. Micah Danielson, Cole Wayne. Then we got Tootin. Come on my face. Like Tutin. Like Tutin. Common Tootin coming. Like I think King Tut was Tutin. Oh, Tutin come in my face.
[67:45]
Chris Distefano
Drexler.
[67:45]
Yannis Pappas
Okay. Trey, Larry, carry Tommy Mills. Now that it's called the Gulf of America, I can sleep at night. Comfy, wumpy, funny Doug Bell Garrett. Contents of Hunter B's laptop is Stevie Wonder. Hold on. Content of Hunter B's laptop is for Stevie Wonder's eyes only. Funny Father Bill's floppy foreskin phage. Faji slinger. Okay. Star Nut Z, Toto. Is this gay? Maybe I want Yanni baby to fumigate me.
[68:15]
Chris Distefano
You know what? Faji slinger on its own would have been a great Faji slinger.
[68:19]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, unfortunately. But it's all right.
[68:21]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[68:22]
Yannis Pappas
Straight to the back shots. Bustin Tushy and Munch and Bussy. Hashtag White dudes for Harris. Yours forever Polish member unless Putin invades the. Please remember. Yours forever Polish member unless Putin invades. Then please remember it's very.
[68:38]
Chris Distefano
Inventory.
[68:39]
Yannis Pappas
Bad read.
[68:40]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, it's very me. So he's. He's got a Polish dick. He's a Polish member. Unless Putin invades, then just please remember that he was Polish.
[68:47]
Yannis Pappas
Well, it's yours forever. He's saying he's just a Polish member of the matriarchy. But he's saying if Putin invades, he'll be dead. So just remember him.
[68:53]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, so just put him on the list for that. It's because it's very inventive.
[68:56]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. And it might be Lukash. Yeah. Make no mistake, because my glue gun is looking over his shoulder because I've been consulting him too much.
[69:08]
Chris Distefano
Good one.
[69:08]
Yannis Pappas
Drexler Woke as fuck. 69. Kevin Morales. Big man in the streets. Mushroom. Peace in the sheets.
[69:16]
Chris Distefano
Drexler colin.
[69:17]
Yannis Pappas
Freeze. Foxy McCool. Cool. Rory Hutchinson. The chick with the dick that Joe derosa. Licked. Got it. Gandhi consulted his niece with his grand niece. Gandhi consulted his piece with his grand niece. And it said. Yes, close.
[69:32]
Chris Distefano
Drexler.
[69:33]
Yannis Pappas
Empress Theodora from dc.
[69:35]
Chris Distefano
Oh, that's her.
[69:36]
Yannis Pappas
There it is. Love you just Lisa.
[69:39]
Chris Distefano
She was a.
[69:39]
Yannis Pappas
She was a piece. Just leased a Prius so I made a crease of my penis. It's one. It is.
[69:47]
Chris Distefano
Put on the list.
[69:48]
Yannis Pappas
All right.
[69:48]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[69:52]
Yannis Pappas
Double entendrecia. Ah. Blew out my mother's womb like a pager.
[70:00]
Chris Distefano
Okay. Walked into one.
[70:02]
Yannis Pappas
Wow. That's bad. That's bad. And we do not condone that.
[70:07]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[70:07]
Yannis Pappas
Wow.
[70:08]
Chris Distefano
Wow. Wow. Okay.
[70:10]
Yannis Pappas
Wow. Yeah. Yikes.
[70:11]
Chris Distefano
A very racist, inventive way to refer to people from that area.
[70:15]
Yannis Pappas
The Dragster. Dean Christina Dee. Oh, boy. That's not good.
[70:22]
Chris Distefano
What was the other one?
[70:23]
Yannis Pappas
Which one?
[70:24]
Chris Distefano
The one you just read.
[70:25]
Yannis Pappas
The Dragster.
[70:26]
Chris Distefano
The Drexter.
[70:27]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah. Okay, then we got. Make no mistake, if the boys lived in 1940s Germany, Chrissy D would definitely dime out Johnny P. To a sharp dressed goose stepper.
[70:38]
Chris Distefano
Contender.
[70:39]
Yannis Pappas
Contender.
[70:40]
Chris Distefano
Contender. Huge.
[70:41]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah.
[70:42]
Chris Distefano
Contender. Cuz you would. Cuz you would put. You would have me put down.
[70:47]
Yannis Pappas
Yeah, it's what calling him a goose steppers. Funny.
[70:50]
Chris Distefano
Very funny. Yeah.
[70:51]
Yannis Pappas
Pisa Lagoon. Okay. Joshua Whitney, Eric Cochran. Caleb is an idiot. Max de Chardin, Thomas Wilson. Alan Shepard. Jean Edited CCP Venus. Tommy Werner Chopanzo, August Perry, Josu Barajas. These piece feels like fleece in wife's Buddha chedge. No fumes. Jordan Elkam. Nancy Reagan's Anaconda Pop to give great top jaw. Okay. Mark, Chrissy D. Please drink my pee. Big daddy. Joseph Todd m. Panko, Jeffrey St. Pete. Air the little tickle inside. Chrissy D's man. Pussy blue flamingo. Kevin Hawkins. PJ Garris. Stephen. Folks, Chrissy Wissy's neat piece crumb bum come from a couple of sauce monkeys. Stephen F.S. tim, Barbara, George, Peter Di Lorenzo. Just a mixed breed kid who needs his monkey moved. Twiller, pop your pinky in my stinky tortellini. Call me Bagos with an F. Bagos to you, Nick. Yep. James Diaz. And then last but not least, Bacon, egg and squeak. Salt, pepper.
[71:57]
Chris Distefano
Leroy Drexler with a nice Drexler.
[72:02]
Yannis Pappas
Nice dresser.
[72:02]
Chris Distefano
Okay, so Drexler, there are a lot of good ones, okay? So here really good listies.
[72:07]
Yannis Pappas
Here's the list. Top squeak, but I'll bottom for the Greek. Good bill cunting.
[72:12]
Chris Distefano
Okay, the first one, I'm going to chicken finger that okay? Yeah. It's a good one, though. Any other day.
[72:17]
Yannis Pappas
Good Bill. Cunting Bill.
[72:19]
Chris Distefano
It's going to be Chicken Finger.
[72:20]
Yannis Pappas
Chicken finger. Okay. Yours forever, Polish member. Unless Putin invades, then please remember we're.
[72:26]
Chris Distefano
Going to keep that as a contender.
[72:27]
Yannis Pappas
That's a contender. That's still in. So Inventive just leased a Prius. So I made a crease of my penis. It's what it is.
[72:34]
Chris Distefano
Keeping it. Jesse's face. We're keeping it.
[72:37]
Yannis Pappas
Wasteland chicken fucker.
[72:40]
Chris Distefano
Wasteland chicken fucker. So funny, right? It's just. But it's going to be Drexler. Just because we got some invisible inventive.
[72:47]
Yannis Pappas
Bin fung squatting over the duck sauce.
[72:50]
Chris Distefano
Another funny one. That's going to be Drexler.
[72:52]
Yannis Pappas
Drexler. Okay.
[72:52]
Chris Distefano
Any other day.
[72:53]
Yannis Pappas
And then last but not least, make no mistake, if the boys lived in 1940s Germany, Chrissy D. Would definitely dime out Yanni P to a sharp dressed goose stepper.
[73:01]
Chris Distefano
So those are the two. Yeah, we have two contestants.
[73:05]
Yannis Pappas
So it's. It's yours forever, Polish member. Unless Putin invades them. Please remember, or make no mistake, if the boys lived in 1940s Germany, Chrissy D. Would definitely dime out Yanni P To a sharp dress goose stepper.
[73:15]
Chris Distefano
So I picked good ones. Right. Those are the. Oh, the crease.
[73:19]
Yannis Pappas
Oh, I'm sorry. Yep. And the crease. That. That.
[73:21]
Chris Distefano
That's another good one.
[73:22]
Yannis Pappas
That's right. Yep. Where the.
[73:24]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, well, I just bought a Prius, so I.
[73:27]
Yannis Pappas
Where is that?
[73:29]
Chris Distefano
He's turned his penis into a crease and it rhymed with Prius. Yeah.
[73:33]
Yannis Pappas
What the hell? Where am I missing that?
[73:36]
Chris Distefano
It's between those three.
[73:38]
Yannis Pappas
Oh, I'm sorry. Yep. Just. Just least a Prius. So I made a crease of my penis. It's what it is.
[73:44]
Chris Distefano
Yeah.
[73:45]
Yannis Pappas
Or young forever Polish member. Unless Putin invades. And please remember, or make no mistake, if the boys lived in 1940s Germany, Chrissy D. Would definitely dime out Yanni P to a sharp dress goose stepper.
[73:55]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. So what we're going to do. Jesse laughed hard, and that was my instinct to. Any other day for the Polish guy.
[74:01]
Yannis Pappas
Okay, so he's out.
[74:02]
Chris Distefano
An amazing one, the Prius. Very funny. Any other day. Truly any other day. But it's the one winner. It's. It's a historical fact. It's a historical podcast.
[74:12]
Yannis Pappas
It's what it is.
[74:13]
Chris Distefano
And everyone knows that you would fucking throw me right in an oven.
[74:15]
Yannis Pappas
So if you go to History Hyenas isback.com, you are the PPW make no mistake, if the boys lived in 1940s Germany, Chrissy D. Would definitely die. Mount Yanni Peter A sharp dress goose stepper. And what we gotta give credit for.
[74:26]
Chris Distefano
The sharp dress goof stepper.
[74:28]
Yannis Pappas
And it's what it is. And it's. And it's one of those dual ones because it is the pbw. And it also is a truth baiter Ginsburg what it is.