The Odyssey: The Way Out is In | History Hyenas

Summary

History Hyenas: The Odyssey – The Way Out is In

Podcast: History Hyenas
Hosts: Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas
Episode Date: May 21, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of History Hyenas blends wild comedy and history as Chris and Yannis dive into the story and legacy of "The Odyssey," riffing on ancient Greece, cultural identity, the upcoming Odyssey movie (and the controversy over casting), and what the epic means today. The comedians combine personal stories, irreverent takes, and sharp observations—making you laugh while effortlessly sneaking in lessons about Greek mythology, psychology, and the enduring human search for home and meaning.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comedy, Observation, & Polish Parties

• [00:27–03:43]
  • Chris ("Chrissy Cremini Mushrooms") and Yannis ("Yanni Sag Tits") open with their signature banter: self-deprecating jokes about appearance, professional noticing, and the highs and lows of their week.
  • Chris: “You're a comedian. The thing about comedians people really underestimate is we are professional noticers.” [01:01]
  • Quick riff on Polish culture — drinking, partying, and stereotypes, “they really don’t allow Muslims in the country… Very Catholic.”

2. Physical Ailments as Personal Warfare

• [04:42–08:32]
  • Chris laments a shoulder labrum tear and other physical struggles, equating daily challenges to “storming the beaches of Normandy” with family.
  • Chris: “When I see my family that I didn’t even invite to my house, it’s like when the boat opens at D-Day… I'm storming the beach.” [05:25]
  • Yannis quips on aging bodies: “You’re Chinese electronics, Chrissy, right now.” [06:46]

3. America's "Teenage" Phase & Societal Parallels

• [08:01–09:28]
  • The hosts draw modern parallels between the chaos of the U.S. and adolescent recklessness: “America’s going to go through a little growing up period. I don’t think it’s avoidable.”

4. Family, Baseball, and Loyalty

• [09:36–16:10]
  • Chris tells a comedic but painfully relatable story about missing a historic Mets game because of family impatience.
  • The conversation turns to sports loyalty: Chris switched allegiances from Yankees to Mets after bad treatment by Yankees staff.
    Chris: “My friends are like, how could you switch from the Yankees to the Mets? I said it’s personal, guy, okay?” [13:49]
  • Yannis philosophizes, “The better people are usually the losers in life.” [14:01]
  • Life lesson from Chris’s dad, Barney Rubble: “You’re really going to enjoy life when you understand life isn’t fair.” [14:49]

5. Greek Antiquity, Slavery, and the Origin of Culture

• [15:37–22:37]
  • Transition to antiquity: Greeks had white (Slavic) slaves, making it a “safe historical era” for jokes across cultures.
  • The Greeks valued cunning over brute strength and weren’t into weakness or empathy (“no god for that”).
  • The spread of Greek culture and its influence as the root of Western civilization: “Greek culture is the bedrock of everything good now.” [22:10]
  • Brief detour into aliens and ancient civilizations (Yannis rejects the alien theory).

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Deep Dive: The Odyssey

The Pharmacós Ritual: Ancient Cancel Culture

• [17:45–18:38]
  • Yannis introduces the “pharmacos” ritual—a scapegoat mechanism for casting out marginalized or “ugly” members of society during crises.
  • “They’d be beaten, humiliated or killed in a symbolic purification of the city… the Greeks weren’t into weakness.” [18:05]

Greek Gods as Human Psychology

• [45:55–47:40]
  • Yannis breaks down how Greek gods personified human urges and psychology: “People worship things—even atheists. The Greeks just personified those forces: comfort, pride, lust.”
  • “The Greeks were kind of smart… everyone’s going to worship something.” [47:10]

Odyssey vs Iliad: The Basics

• [33:25–34:14]
  • Homer is (likely) the “author” but could represent a collection/oral tradition.
  • Iliad covers Troy & war; Odyssey is Odysseus’s 10-year journey home.

Major Plot Points & Thematic Depth

• [38:14–54:37]

  The Structure

  • The Odyssey has 24 books and 3 sections:
    • The situation in Ithaca (home and family)
    • Odysseus’ legendary adventures (the journey)
    • The return & revenge

  Classic Episodes (with Modern Parallels):

  • The Lotus-Eaters: Addiction & escapism
    “People eat lotus plants that make them forget their homes and ambitions… Symbolic: escapism, addiction.” [40:19]
  • Cyclops (Polyphemus), Son of Poseidon:
    Odysseus’s cunning—“Nobody” ruse, then brags and brings a curse on himself.
  • Circe: Female power, magical seduction (Odysseus outwits and also beds the enchantress)
  • Trip to Hades (the Underworld): Even heroes can’t escape death’s meaninglessness; “Achilles would rather be a living peasant than king of the dead.” [49:36]
  • The Sirens: Temptation and discipline (Odysseus tied to the mast as the ultimate hack for “resisting temptation through restraint”) [50:32]
  • The Cattle of Helios: Disobedience and disaster (crew defies warnings; everyone but Odysseus perishes)
  • Return & Revenge: A homecoming marathon: Penelope holds out, Odysseus must massacre the suitors to restore order.

  The Underlying Message:

  • Self-discovery, loyalty, humility, heroism via wit, and the struggle between idealism and realism.
  • Chris: “It's also, like, a guide with relationships… these easy temptations, immediate gratification. But if you delay gratification, that's when you really get the true pleasure.” [54:37]

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Odyssey in Pop Culture: Movie Controversies

Casting Outrage and Identity Politics

• [29:04–36:51]
  • New Odyssey movie features “Elliot Page as Achilles” and Lupita Nyong'o as Penelope (or Helen — confusion about role), sparking online backlash.
  • Greeks online angry/disturbed by casting choices; hosts dismiss it as misplaced energy—"It’s fantasy. Anyone can play whoever they want.” [30:05]
  • Comparison to Zorba the Greek, Al Pacino as Carlito—“Who cares?”
  • Commentary on changing “culture” — culture is ever-evolving, not a static set of inherited traits.

Satirical Commentary & AI Memes

• [56:02]
  • Internet memes and AI-generated clips of Elliot Page as Achilles—hosts find the backlash darkly amusing, but ultimately, “if you’re going to do it, be funny.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “You’re a professional noticer. You have the eyes not of a hawk, but of a woman.” – Yannis [01:08]

• On suffering and fairness:
  Chris: “You’re really going to enjoy life when you understand life isn’t fair.” [14:49]

• On Greek legacy:
  Yannis: “Greek culture is the bedrock of everything good now… even if you’re Muslim, you can’t argue the golden age wasn’t highly influenced by the Greeks…” [22:10]

• Odysseus as the first “modern man”:
  Chris: “Unlike the other mythic heroes who rely mainly on strength, Odysseus survives through intelligence, deception, and adaptability—as the first modern man.” [53:39]

• On Greek gods:
  Yannis: “Everyone’s going to worship something. The Greeks just personified that… It’s psychology masked as theology.” [47:10]

• On relationships and gratification:
  Chris: “If you delay gratification, that’s when you really get the true pleasure.” [54:37]

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Important Timestamps

• 00:27: Show starts, playful banter and fashion roasts
• 04:42: Chris compares physical/mental struggles to “daily war”
• 09:36: Mets-Yankees family drama & loyalty shift story
• 15:37: Transition to Greek antiquity, slavery, and safe historical jokes
• 17:46: The Pharmacós scapegoat ritual—ancient “cancel culture”
• 33:25: Wrestling with Homer, oral tradition, and what the Odyssey/Iliad really are
• 38:14: Odyssey plot breakdown begins
• 45:55: Greek gods as personifications of human drives/psychology
• 49:36: Visit to Hades — Achilles’ wisdom: “Better a living peasant than king of the dead”
• 50:32: The Sirens and hackable self-restraint
• 53:03: Odysseus and Penelope's reunion; meaning of loyalty, meaning, ego
• 54:37: Lessons on love, relationships, and delayed gratification

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Closing Tone: Wild, Thoughtful, Uncensored

The episode maintains the classic Hyenas tone: brash, self-deprecating, irreverent, but sneaky-smart about history, culture, and the Odyssey’s timeless lessons. The final segments (full of Patreon “Name of the Week” riffing) are peak chaotic comedy, showing the show’s fan culture and willingness to say the unsayable—with a wink rather than malice.

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Summary Takeaway

• The Odyssey isn’t just an ancient poem—it’s a flexible, sometimes scandalous, guide for modern life: about ego, meaning, temptation, homecoming, loyalty, and self-knowledge.
• The “way out is in”—embracing the struggle, learning through adversity, and finding meaning in your story—even if that means sometimes missing the big homerun, having to switch teams (in sports and in life), or being the Comedic Greek in a world full of Cyclopes.

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For further wildness and behind-the-scenes antics, check patreon.com/historyhyenas!

Transcript

[A]

So good, so good, so good.

[B]

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[A]

What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm Chris Stefano, AKA Chrissy Cremini Mushrooms. With me as always, Giannis Papas, AKA Yanni Sag Tits.

[C]

I like to. Yeah, you can notice I've had a rough time.

[A]

What happened is now you're just. Now you're just wearing shirts. That it? You're not hiding anymore. You don't care. Go to YouTube.com history hyenas every single Thursday like and subscribe to see These titties and patreon.com history hyenas pay for these titties to pay for these titties. That's. Yes.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So you. He's still handsome, but I have. When you were walking today, I said, he doesn't care anymore.

[C]

Yeah. The thing about you, you're a comedian. The thing about comedians people really underestimate is we are professional noticers.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

We get paid to notice. And you have the eyes not of a hawk, but of a woman.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

You're. You do have the eyes that you notice. Slight differences in hair, slight differences in outfits. You looked at my shoes, which is wild. This is what a woman does.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

He noticed right away. I saw him at the thing. He could look down, he goes, you got nice crisp air Max on.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I didn't notice what sneakers he was weari wearing until he told me what sneakers he was wearing.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You noticed. You know what kind of week I've had based on my appearance? You know that I've fallen way off the food wagon.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I've been having burgers, I've been having sausages. I've been drinking. I've been having tons of sweets.

[A]

Too many. Right.

[C]

And you notice the evidence in my tits.

[A]

I noticed the evidence in your tits. And I noticed that your allergies were a little bad. You were a little banged up. I noticed things about you because what it is like a woman is I'm a healer. And I said, how can I help you? I'd like to help you. And it's what it is. And I know.

[C]

But you do get secret enjoyment of my downfall because you're A woman too. Yeah. And women fight like that. Yeah, women fight with false compliments. I love your air Max. And then in the mind it's going, yeah, so you said you love my air Mac, but in your head you

[A]

went, or, yeah, or like I said, you know, don't worry, Giannis. I said, you're still handsome, but in my head I'm saying you're fat.

[C]

You're fat. Yeah. And.

[A]

And so, and I noticed too, that you had. And I, and I put two and two together. I said, I know you had a fun week. I know you probably threw some back, threw some bruise back because you went and you had a nice weekend with the neighbors and you skipped the Jew's house and you went to the Pollock's. Guys, go to Christy. Comedy dot com. I got a new hour of material. I'm on the road. June 26th, 27th in Stanford, Connecticut. August 28th, 29th, Atlantic City, New Jersey. More dates coming.

[C]

I love you guys. Catch me in Atlantic City. June 26th, 27th, East Hampton. July 10th, New Brunswick, New Jersey. July 17th and 18th, Philadelphia. August 14th and 15th, guys. Patreon.com history hyenas to just get your all in one hyena fan package. You get the episodes a day early, uncensored, ad free. If you don't like listening to all that, buy this. Also, you get our bonus episodes. Some of our funniest episodes are our weekly bonus episodes. Additional content. Just become a member of our community. Patreon.com history hyenas yeah, ways on chi.

[A]

So once when you do that, when you skip around and you just have fun with the Polish, because Polish kids, yeah, they really like to have a good time. Here's the thing about, here's the thing about Polish.

[C]

You know more than me.

[A]

I know Polish people big and I know any level of Polish person, they really like to drink, they really like to have a good time, and they really don't allow Muslims in the country. That's just what things are.

[C]

Oh, you mean their. Their country now.

[A]

Very Catholic. And they just really kind of have a big border around their country. They don't because they got kicked around a lot by the Naz. And you know, and that's what it is. So I do know that. And I know that Polish people, you know, even though, like, you know, Dr. Lukasz, very skinny man, very high cholesterol, he's got worse cholesterol than me. So the thing is. Cause they like to throw a few that what they're doing is they're all day, they're drinking vodka and eating pierogis.

[C]

And they do it.

[A]

They do it privately in their own homes.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, I want to make this episode really shoot up.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So I'm just going to say what everyone wants to say. The problem is not the Muslims. Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's the Muslims and Christians against the Jews.

[A]

That's what it is.

[C]

Right. Because the Muslims recognize Jesus as a profit.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Numbers through the roof.

[A]

Through the roof. Yeah. That's what it is.

[C]

That's what it is.

[A]

Now, now look, I'm off the beam in a major way. I told you. I have a labor shoulder, labrum tear.

[C]

I like to call you Chrissy veterans now. Yeah, Chrissy Veterans. Chrissy old school veteran. Who's got. Now you're at the point where you're going to have to do veteran tricks.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You got to rub a little Icy Hot. You're going to do a little Vaseline on your fastball. Body is banged up.

[A]

It's banged up. And I had for. For the last three months. War victory.

[C]

You're the only guy with war wounds that hasn't been in battle, that hasn't been battled.

[A]

But I do still fight the Japanese on a daily basis.

[C]

You got a lot of wars going in your head.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And you just want an ethno.

[A]

You don't want it.

[C]

You want to. You want to ethno state. It's an ethno state of German.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Protestant.

[A]

It's just.

[C]

What, you're Catholic.

[A]

Because in my mind, I'm on the front lines every day. So when I. Yeah, because. Because what it is because is when I come down my stairs and I see my family and I see the multiple members of my family that I didn't invite to my house. It's like when the boat. When the back of the boat's opening in D day and I say I'm going in, I'm storming the beach. Cuz that's what it is. Cuz make absolutely no mistake, I have a. I have a wild family. And so. But. So I got this labral tear and it's. And it's the first time ever in my life that I could not sleep. From the pain in my shoulder to the point where it was like. It really is making me think like how for granted you take. Like now I got real pain. I can't do the exercises I want. I can't hold my kid. It's her birthday tomorrow. I can't throw them in the pool. Cause I got this labral tear and I was up all night. You know, I was trying to get Jazz to jerk me off. She wouldn't do it. And then I got her to rub a little cream on my arm, but that's about it. And I'm in real pain, cuz. And it sucks. And I gotta. And then once the labral tears. Here's what I know. Once the label tears, it doesn't come back. I won't have a labrum now for the rest of my life.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you're built for the first half of life. It's what it is.

[A]

What it is.

[C]

God makes those things, you know?

[A]

But you said I look good today. You do look good. But see, I feel. I. Like I don't look good. My whoop. Recovery. I'm at 20% recovery. I'm in the red. My hair doesn't feel good. I did my physical therapy. I was almost crying when I couldn't move my arm.

[C]

Your Chinese electronics, it's what it is on the outside. You're going like, wow, that's a good price. I'm going to buy it. And then it breaks real quick. Yeah, yeah. Just Chinese electronics, Chrissy, right now, my

[A]

shoulders are made in China.

[C]

You're a good package, but once you start using, you a little bit, there's broken parts, and you gotta buy a new one.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Your Achilles is falling off. Your foot's about to fall off. Your feet are broken. Well, you're crucified.

[A]

But here's the thing. Let me just give you guys an update on physical therapy for my knees and my Achilles. Check out this. I can get. Look at this.

[D]

Go this way.

[A]

Where?

[D]

A little close to that.

[A]

Look at this.

[C]

No, no, no. Now you're blocking it completely.

[A]

Closer to the desk.

[D]

Here we go. Yeah.

[A]

Good, good. All the Achilles. See? Off the floor.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

No pain. But now, look, this is how you're supposed. This is normal range of motion on a shoulder. Yeah, that's fine. Look at this one.

[C]

Whoa. Not good. Not good. Yeah, not good.

[A]

We're coming into what we call a little thing we call in the biz, adhesive capsulitis, AKA frozen. Your shoulder.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, at least it's frozen in a way that you're comfortable with. You just got to go the other way with it.

[A]

Oh, yeah, because he keeps saying.

[C]

Because maybe it's happening for a reason.

[A]

Because the therapist keeps saying. He's like, you know, you got no range of motion. I said, what? It's fine. What are you talking about? It's moving the other way.

[C]

It's the way God wanted it to go. Maybe God's given you a boost to get it where it needs to be.

[A]

Because, you know, as you were saying before the cameras turned on, I mean, you know, it's coming back. A one party system's coming back. Are we either going to have the liberal communists who come in and do

[C]

it one way or the right wing

[A]

fashion or the fascists who come in and smash? Yeah, maybe he's just getting my arm ready for some smash.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's definitely go. Everything's become so decentralized.

[A]

Make no mistake, whatever happens, whatever happens in the future, I know. Jesus on the good guy side, whoever

[C]

is always on your side, he's waiting for you.

[A]

It's what it is. He's within us all.

[C]

He's within us all. He's outside. He's. The kingdom of God is within us and outside of us.

[A]

And outside of us.

[C]

Yeah, it's definitely gonna go that way. You know, people forget we're a teenage country. Right, Right. We're a teenage country.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We got the bolster, we got the emotional swings, we throw the tantrums.

[A]

That's why the rest of the world jerks off to us.

[C]

Yeah. Have you noticed the rest of the world is kind of tired? They've been through it, right? Like you go places and they're like, you can just smell all the carnage that happened and everyone's walking around just going like, we did that. Like, just chill out.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We're here. Going like, yeah, yeah. We're like Beavis and Buddy going, let's get out, let's get out. You're like, those places already did that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And everyone got slaughtered.

[A]

Yeah. Remember, remember that old pre workout when we were teenagers called no explode?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's what we're on. No explode.

[C]

We're ready to go. And you know how like a teenager you could tell them the wisdom but then they do it anyway because they need to learn it for themselves. Right? So I feel like we're at that stage where we want to learn the horrors of history for ourselves.

[A]

For ourselves.

[C]

So I think America's going to go through a little growing up period. And I don't think it's avoidable. I don't think you can avoid. I think it's just. You just buckle down, get your bunker.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Just wait it out and you just

[A]

wait it out and we'll see what happens. You. Because today you want to talk about the Odyssey.

[C]

I wanted to talk about Eugene Shorts first.

[A]

Yeah. I got on.

[C]

You got jorts on.

[A]

Because I got jorts on. And make no mistake, I do. I feel like a woman in the South.

[C]

Yeah. What I was looking at. Maybe what you should do is cut those things off and tighten them up so you could look like Dirty Dancing.

[A]

That's what I'd like to do. And I wore these jorts yesterday to Citi Field. Yesterday we went to the Mets, Yankees game. Now, I decided to bring Jazz and the kids, and of course, just in fashion, you know, I was in the car an hour before, waiting. They don't come down. We left my house about five minutes before the actual game started. Took an hour to get there in traffic. So we don't get there to the end of the third inning. Right. Of course they're complaining. You know, we're in this beautiful suite. They're complaining, you know, oh, it's. The game's far and blah. They want to go home.

[C]

My third cousin is just got called up. We're gonna miss it.

[A]

Yeah, we're gonna miss that shit. So now. So we're waiting, waiting, waiting. All of a sudden, you know, just complaining, girls complaining. Everybody's complaining. I'm like, I just want to watch a baseball game here. And then it's the eighth inning, Yankees are up six, three. Okay. Everybody thinks, okay, game's over. It's at Citi Field. They're like, come on, let's just go. I said, can we just. We only got in the third inning. What's the difference? We got so much time. It's a one o' clock game. They're like, come on, let's go. So have to leave. Begrudgingly. We're in the car, in the traffic, leaving. All of a sudden, you hear Citi Field erupt. They hit a three. The Mets hit a three run homer in the bottom of the ninth to tie the game. So now I'm just gripping the wheel. Just. Even Jazz knows. She was like, wow, what is that? Cause the game's over.

[C]

Yeah, well, Hopper.

[A]

Yeah. And then I put on the radio. The announcers are going crazy, like, you just missed history. And then they win, of course, in the bottom of the 10th. And I'm just sitting in traffic and flushing, surrounded by Chinese people, just listening to one of the best games in. In the league this year while I'm just sitting there, you know, as Jazz is complaining, the kids are complaining, telling me to put on K Pop and the Demon Hunters. And then Kat's eye. And I'm just like, you know what?

[C]

I was alone. I was alone.

[A]

I'm like, how about I Drive this car off the RFK Bridge.

[C]

Right. You know what I like about you? You know, I think definitely I believe in former lives. For sure.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

I think in a former life, I was probably a dog. And unfortunately, I was probably a dog. Cause I love dogs. The things you're tugged to is probably what you were. So I was probably. Probably a dog. But unfortunately I was probably a dog in Korea. Right. And so I had a short life, but I was delicious. At some point. Yeah. You no doubt feel a tug towards the revolutionary period.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And there's no question you were revolution. You were in that time, but you were some sort of double agent intelligent asset. Right. Because for you to have the ability to switch from the Yankees to the Mets so quick and feel nothing for

[A]

the Yankees, feel nothing for the Yankees

[C]

now means you're up. Your. Your pussy is up to the highest bidder. You sell that pussy to whoever the fucking. Because how could you watch the Mets and Yankees and be so happy about the Mets tying the game when you were a lifelong Yankee fan? I mean, Barney Rubble must be fucking turning in his grave that he's not in yet, but soon.

[A]

But Barney Rubble, actually, Barney Rubble is on my side because it got personal with the Yankees and the Mets. So that's what happened, is the Mets started to, you know, I did a.

[C]

But is there something in your heart that still tugs for the Yanks?

[A]

I don't hate the Yankees. The thing is, I don't hate the Yankees and I wasn't necessarily rooting for one team, but I was just enjoying the game yesterday. If the Yankees won the World Series, I would love to. To see that. I don't hate them. But the problem is it got personal because the Yankees were just such. Being such scumbags to my family. To me and my family, especially my stepson, they just really treated him like shit. And then the Mets just treated my family so well that you just kind of saw a little bit of the inner workings of the organization. I said, the Mets just seem like better people on the front office than the Yankees. Granted, I only met a couple of people in the Yankees front office. There was one lady who was really nice who would give the tickets for the Yankees shout out. Debbie. She was always awesome. But some of the other people I ran into were really just dirtbags and like, thought who they were. And I didn't like the way they treated my family. So it got personal. So, you know, and that's why sometimes, you know, my friends are like, how. You know, my friends from home are like, how could you switch from the Yankees and Mets? I said it's personal, guy, okay? I got to meet the high ups on the team. You're never going to meet the high ups on the team. So why don't you shut your fucking mouth and enjoy your fucking cargo shorts in section 300. You could suck my ass. They disrespected my stepson, right? And I'm just not going to stand for it.

[C]

So, yeah, I mean, you know, what we just learned there is sort of like one of those universal truths that we all have to accept, right? Is that the. The better people, the better people are usually the losers in life.

[A]

It's what it is.

[C]

And when they call it the evil empire, it's usually, you know, because they're horrible people, you know, that's why the Yankees are so great, right? They win a lot, but they. It just comes at a cost, right? It's like when you meet successful people, it's like, don't meet your heroes, right? You really find out that they're pieces of shit. And that's what you got to be, too.

[A]

That's. That's what it is. And. And here's the thing is I feel like, you know, Barney Rebel told me something once. We were sitting in traffic on the Verrazano Bridge and somebody cut him off. Cars were honking, whatever. My dad had no reaction. He never had road rage, which I always learned. That's why I don't think I have any road rage. And he was like.

[C]

Cause he didn't have anything on any money on the car that hit him.

[A]

Yeah, that's what it is. And so. And so I said to him, that doesn't upset you. And he was like, chris, you're gonna really start to enjoy life when you understand life isn't fair.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So. And then, you know, and then I think he was just looking at himself in the mirror, you know, his eyes going this way. No. You know, driving, you know, and, you know, in 1987, Oldsmobile, the door, the doors used to fly open on the middle of the high. I used to have.

[C]

So it was like a Tesla before the Tesla.

[A]

Yes. I used to have to hold the doors. Yeah. Close. So they just used to fly open. So to deal with that. So I. I always thought that, like. Yeah, I always knew that. Yeah. It's not fair. And I thought about that already, too. I was like, yeah, the Yankees, they are who they are. Just like the most successful people, usually pieces of shit. But it's like, I. I'd like to be happier With a little less. You know what? I actually saw a study. This is just recently. I saw that people who always are saying like that grind mentality and you gotta grind and all day they have the same levels of stress as people who are poverty. Cause they're just stressed out in a different way.

[C]

So you gotta have a balance. Yeah. Now that is a perfect segue into diving back into the antiquity. Antiquity specifically means the ancient Greek times.

[A]

It's what it is.

[C]

The glory is.

[A]

Glory is.

[C]

Because back then they had a pantheon of gods. And interestingly enough, the Greeks weren't into weakness.

[A]

No. And the Greeks also too. They. You can always call that the glorious and say that the good old days. And I think it's safe for everybody because that's. Slaves were white back then, Slavic slaves.

[C]

So it's fair.

[A]

So my point is you can get. Because a lot of times, you know, you'll have non white people back that glory. Of course, for, you know, you just have to deal with that. That thing that they keep hearing on the algorithm and you have to just be like, do you have your. Any of your own thoughts? Are you just a follower for everything you do in your life, you just want to start saying that to people. Like to have your own original idea. But.

[C]

So I like Steel Pipe Chrissy. He's my friend.

[A]

Because it's.

[C]

Because I thought.

[A]

I haven't slept in. My shoulder hurts.

[C]

Yeah. So let's hit it.

[A]

But slaves were white in Greek antiquity. So it's a. It's a plus for everybody.

[C]

Yeah, it's a good time.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, it's a good time. It's.

[A]

It's a.

[C]

You're saying it's safe to say something positive.

[A]

Good old days. Because you say good old days in any other time, then you know, people just are like, oh, yeah, this is this response I'm supposed to have because I saw it online.

[C]

Yeah, it was good for you.

[A]

I'm supposed to be upset by this.

[C]

It was good for you.

[A]

Good for you.

[C]

It wasn't good for me. You're like, you weren't there, but yeah, I was.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

So this is a fun one that I just learned about today or yesterday or whatever. So the Greeks, they had something called.

[A]

Because you got to start working on your biceps. You're starting to piss me off.

[C]

I'm. I'm just deflating.

[A]

Start to piss me off now. I need you to get a pump.

[C]

I'm starting to look fat. Yeah.

[A]

I hate it. Yeah, I want you to. At least you used to have biceps.

[C]

I had Them, like last week. So they're gone.

[A]

Where are they?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Trying to piss me off.

[C]

So the Greeks. The Greeks had. The Greeks. The Greeks had a ritual called pharmacos.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

Which means escape goat ritual.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Which is wild. It was sort of like, I'm crying. Yeah. It's sort of like the purge. This is so interesting. So during times of plagues, famine or crisis, marginalized people. This is so horrible. Sometimes described as criminals, beggared, disabled or ugly.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So they would take ugly people from the village. Yeah. And they'd be beaten, humiliated, or killed in a symbolic purification of the city.

[A]

Just get them out.

[C]

So it's bad.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So they just weren't into it because

[A]

the ancient deal with traffic. Right. They kind of just got things done a little quicker.

[C]

Yeah, well, you know, they didn't really have, you know, the Greeks. The thing that they didn't have was like this. They didn't really, like, have a care for like, the weak or empathy. They didn't have a God for that. Right. The only thing they had was hubris. Like, be carefully hubris.

[A]

Like, like being, like, cocky.

[C]

Yeah. Just like being too cocky. It was like they. And that's what we're going to talk about the Odyssey today and Odishius. You know, they love the poem. You know, the Odyssey is a story about a guy who was extremely cunning, like, and that's. And witty. And so you survive. They, they, they, they valued cunning over like pure brute strength.

[A]

So he was.

[C]

He's like a complicated hero. But they loved his brain, his wittiness.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So they didn't like you if you were fucking stupid.

[A]

It's just what it is.

[C]

Apparently if you were unpleasant to the eye, you got beaten when food got a. If you were ugly because, like, there was no plastic surgery to fix that situation. Unfortunately, the old Kardashians, like pre.

[A]

New faces, would have never met them. They would have been out of here.

[C]

Would have been out.

[A]

What's it called again?

[C]

Pharmacos.

[A]

Pharmacos.

[C]

Pharmacos. A little pharmacos.

[A]

Pharmacy.

[C]

Yeah, a little pharmacy. So they were really, you know.

[A]

Now when was this practice? This was 2,000 years ago, Fatima. Cause.

[C]

No, this was a long time ago.

[A]

Even before that.

[C]

Talking about, like, yeah, 9,000, 7,000, 6,000 years ago, whatever.

[A]

That Greeks have just been here a long time.

[C]

Long time.

[A]

Do you ever think that. And we'll get more into the Odyssey, but do you think that potentially Greeks could have been manipulate. DNA manipulated by extraterrestrials because of how far they were able to advance.

[C]

No.

[A]

You don't think so?

[C]

No, I think all that, like, extraterrestrials, I don't buy any of that shit, you know, I don't buy Atlantis as a lost city. I don't buy the Egyptians, the fucking aliens built it. I don't. I think that they were extreme. They got very sophisticated. I feel like the ancient Egypt was around for thousands of years. Like we talked about, like, there was, like, ain't. There was historians doing ancient tours in Egypt of ancient Egypt. So they were around for a long time. They got sophisticated, and they figured out how to build a giant triangle, right? People get all crazy because it's like, it lines up with some stars or some shit. Yeah, they were sophisticated.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They didn't have an air conditioner yet, but they knew how to build a giant triangle.

[A]

It's what it is.

[C]

They had slaves, they had workers, they had stones. They learned how to build a. It's a triangle.

[A]

And also, why is everyone freaking out about triangle? And also, I just want to let you know that the Egyptians are okay to talk about. Because their slaves were Jews.

[C]

Yeah. So as long as.

[A]

If the Jews were in chains at any moment in history, then most people in our algorithm say that's a good one.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, so it's like, yeah, they just. They. They were ancient people. They figured it out. The Greeks, you know, and then they go, oh, the. The thing about the Greeks that you have to just accept. And this is. Unfortunately, people take this as like. Like an ethno thing, because people get crazy, right? They get emotional. But, like, look. Look at my genes, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So my genes, half of them are Minoan. Like, I'm actually a DNA Greek, going all the way back. But then I'm Anatolian, right? But I was Greek, right? So it's like, what happened was Alexander the Great spread Greek culture all over the place. And my peoples were some Anatolian farmers, right? That could. We were up for grabs, right? We could have went muzzy. We could have went Christian. We could have went Buddha ga va ga k. Could have went, whatever gods were there, right? We went Christian, we went Greek, right? So it's a culture that spreads. And there's one thing you can't deny about a culture. I was just became that guy again.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Is that Greek culture is, like, the bedrock of, like, everything good now.

[A]

Right.

[C]

It just can't deny it.

[A]

I agree with that.

[C]

Even though if you're Muslim, you can't argue that the Muslim golden age wasn't highly influenced by the translation of, like, the ancient Greek thinkers. Like, it's the bedrock from which all good things have sprung in modernity. You know, architecture, mathematics, Lodge. The list goes on. Right. Geometry, whatever, boy. You know, gay sex.

[A]

All the good things. The only issue you have with your bedrock is the pool that they put in was a little uneven.

[C]

It was a little uneven.

[A]

And the contractor got a talking to. And now it's even.

[C]

Yeah, it's even now. Well, yeah, we figured it out.

[A]

Figured it out.

[C]

You put it in a. It's figured out. I mean, we figured it out some way. I'm not. Not. Yeah, figured it out.

[A]

It figured out.

[C]

Yeah, I figured it out. Yeah.

[A]

The guy got real nervous.

[C]

Yeah. The problem is these guys love the show, so it's what it is.

[A]

It's what it is.

[C]

I'm very happy with it.

[A]

Yeah, he's happy.

[C]

Very happy with it. When sometimes it's very uncomfortable when someone in your life who you're can be a source of material and then they just tell you that they're big fans of this show.

[A]

Yeah, it's.

[C]

So he's listening to this right now.

[A]

Yeah. But what I've decided to do.

[C]

Very happy with the bull.

[A]

What I've decided.

[C]

Any thoughts I have, I'll tell you privately.

[A]

Yeah, it's just what it is. Or I'll read the text message [e-mail] history hiatus. Okay, we're going to stop.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just. It's all good.

[A]

It's all good.

[C]

It's all good. Let me tell you something right now. Christopher. Christopher Disfano.

[A]

That's what it is.

[C]

I get all my clothes from Quince. No, stop. As the boys say, the kids say, no cap.

[A]

No cap. I get all my clothes from Quince. And I also get all the, like, bedding and stuff. I got blinds off Quince. Quince is one of the best websites you can go to. I mean, they have all the wardrobe staples for spring. 100% European linen shorts and shirts, $34, lightweight, breathable, all the good stuff. Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than what you find at similar brands. And I got to tell you, I got two pairs of jeans from there. I've washed them and dried them, and they haven't shrunk. So it's good quality.

[C]

It's very good quality. And let me tell you something. There is no reason not to download the app and to take a peek.

[A]

Take a peek. I'm telling you, refresh your every day with luxury. You'll actually Use head head to quince.com hy for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada. Tua that's Q U I N C E.com hyenas for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com hyenas I want to thank Bluechew for sponsoring this podcast episode and sponsoring my boner. I mean the future of erectile function is here. I like that. I got a rock hard cock right now.

[C]

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[A]

I want to see his trophy.

[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[C]

Yeah, but you know, yeah, people do like this show and sometimes it's a conflict because sometimes Chris's family listens to the show too.

[A]

Well, it's. I know and it's what it is. But what I've started doing recently in my life is saying I'm not seeking parental. I'm not seeking parental approval anymore of anything in my life. I. I'm starting to think about life as what would I do what, what would I be doing if my parents weren't here? Here. That's how you got to live your life. That's how you get to happiness. Stop trying to seek your parentals parents approval at as you get older because it's like that holds you back in life. Like Yanni, you're free. You do whatever you want. You got that wig on, you got the skirt on. It doesn't matter. Okay.

[C]

Yeah. Because you're your own man now. You're an adult.

[A]

It's just what it is. I've spent a lot of my adult years just trying to seek parental approval. I'm just not doing it anymore.

[C]

I can understand it. Because you're a man. You are your own father. You are what it is. You're a parent to others now.

[A]

And I tore. So I tore my shoulder, label, labrum. Jerking off to Gay Point because you're

[C]

just doing what you want to do.

[A]

I'm doing what I want to do right now. I took a flight down to go see Thunder from down under in Australia.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I said, I don't care what my mom, dad think of me anymore. And I ripped the labrum off.

[C]

That's what happens. It's just what happens. You're a free man.

[A]

I'm a free.

[C]

You're a bird. You're a free bird. You're no longer a tilted. You're a free, tilted bird.

[A]

That's what it is.

[C]

So the Odyssey.

[A]

Yeah, let's talk.

[C]

All the rage.

[A]

Cyclops.

[C]

Yeah, there's a Cyclops in it.

[A]

You know what? Cuz I gotta be honest. I was listening to it. I was learning about it. I don't really know. You're more of the expert. Expert with the Odyssey. I know some parts about it, but I don't really know. You know the story, so I'm eager to learn.

[C]

There's one word that has no truth on this show. Our show is. There's one thing that you said that just doesn't exist on the show. Everything exists on the show except for expert.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

There's nothing involved in the show.

[A]

That's true.

[C]

Where there's expertise. That's a good point. This is one of the stupidest rooms in the country.

[A]

It's what?

[C]

This is a gathering of four of the stupidest people who ever live.

[A]

Right.

[C]

If me and you didn't have any comedic talent, we would be hard pressed to get jobs anywhere.

[A]

Big time.

[C]

I mean, you are a physical therapist, but you're, like, on the low rung of physical therapy.

[A]

I can't even rehab my own shoulder.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, you dropped a noodle in a cadaver.

[A]

It's what I mean. Yeah.

[C]

You. You are like, to Filipinos look at you, right? You know, it's like, really, are we going to let this fucking immigrant do what we do? They look at you that way, right? They go, this is a Filipino thing. There's some fucking Jack White guy try to be a physical therapist. This guy dropped a noodle in a cadaver.

[A]

It's what it is.

[C]

And why am I calling a cadaver a cadaver? It's not MacGyver, because.

[A]

And then you're. And then you come from a. I was gonna say, then you come from a family where your older Brother went to Oxford.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then people say, oh, talk about the Papas brothers. Said they. They say, isn't one of them. Doesn't one of them have special needs? And they don't know if it's you or your actual brother has special needs.

[C]

It's exactly right.

[A]

They'll see you on Facebook and they'll see the Maurice awake and they're not sure if it's you or the brother who's in a group home.

[C]

Right, exactly. Because, listen, he has an exc. Excuse. I don't.

[A]

I don't.

[C]

That's the thing.

[A]

So I actually might put you lower than.

[C]

Yeah. You can't even say special needs. People are like. You can't make fun of them because they don't have a choice. Yeah. Like, I'm stupid. Like, and I have the potential to not be.

[A]

Right.

[C]

I just don't have. I'm just not built with the winning qualities that make that happen.

[A]

It's just what it is.

[C]

So. Yeah, I just. Yeah. Call me. Anyone out here an expert at anything. I mean, the only thing that me and you are an expert on is not being an expert.

[A]

Right. It's.

[C]

So I learned about the Odyssey. Now, I never read it. I didn't grow up with it because my parents barely paid attention to me. Most Greeks, this is a big deal. Greeks are very upset that there's a black woman in the Odyssey. It's what.

[A]

It's a movie coming out.

[C]

Yeah. They're just very upset. And this is the thing that they're very upset about, the black woman. But if, you know, the ancient Greeks actually admired the ancient Ethiopians, cuz. And they actually called them hot.

[A]

So Ethiopian women are beautiful.

[C]

Yeah, they called them, like.

[A]

Now what is Elliot Page doing in the movie?

[C]

They're all subsequent about that.

[A]

Is she. What is she doing?

[C]

What is he doing?

[A]

What. What's his part in?

[C]

Well, it's become a huge thing on the Internet now. And I have to say, it's funny in a very. In a way that I think would hurt his feelings a lot. But it's hard. It's hard. I know you're on the Internet a lot. They started making movie trailers with Elliot Page in, like, very manly war, like, scenes. Right. And Elliot Page is just getting brutalized. So they're using AI Because Elliot Page is in the movie. And this is a movie about war.

[A]

Do you know what character Elliot Page plays?

[C]

She played a guy. No, she's not a kid, dude. If it was Achilles, I think the Greeks would riot.

[D]

She is Achilles.

[C]

She's Achilles. So I got it. Yeah. I made a. I made a video. And there's a lot of Greeks upset with me. And they might have been the ones that Spam reported me because I. They. I said it. Look, this is a fantasy. It's not a big deal. But here's the deal. I might be wrong because even my brother was upset about. About the African woman playing Helen. He goes, well, that's stupid. I go, listen, it's fantasy. Anyone can play whoever they want. Like, I don't care about this right at all. Because it's like, whatever. They're actors. Are we going to get upset? Nobody was upset with Anthony Quinn played Zorba.

[A]

It's not freak.

[C]

I mean, what are we going to get upset when Al Pacino played Carlito? I mean, who gives a shit?

[A]

Somebody played the Egyptian pharaoh. Somebody played Moses. Who was a white guy. Guy.

[C]

Yeah. Who cares? Who gives a shit?

[A]

I heard somebody say with that one. I think I forgot who played them, but it was like they didn't have a Middle Eastern actor that could sell the type of tickets that. Whomever the lead was, I forgot who it was. What. So it's like. This is what it is. Like people are going to go see Matt Damon. Elliot Page.

[C]

Yeah, I just. Well, I don't know about Elliot. I don't know. But yeah, I think people get. I think what it is, is the culture wars kind of leak into the movies. Jesse. Right? Is that. What's your take?

[A]

Well, I think the movies are the ones who start them all.

[C]

Or start. I don't. Yeah. I don't know why people are so worried about.

[D]

There's some rumors going. In order to win an Academy Award, you need specific casting. So you have to have a person of color and you have to have trans. So they changed the rules of what could win now.

[A]

Got it.

[D]

So that's why they're.

[C]

Is that true? Is that.

[A]

Is that probably true? Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. They. They changed how you can win an Oscar.

[C]

Well, either way, I don't care. I don't know why people. I don't care. Then go. Don't go see the movie.

[A]

Like, why would he care?

[C]

So upset.

[A]

By the way.

[D]

That's just a theory. We don't know why Christopher Nolan casted the way he casted, other than it's really big in the news.

[A]

To me. It's. I don't.

[C]

Huge in the news.

[A]

I don't care. But it's just something talking. I'm gonna go see the movie regardless. I don't give a fuck. Who's accurately represented. I just want. It looks like a good movie, does it not?

[C]

Yeah, I mean, it's Christopher Nolan, so, I mean. I mean, what has.

[A]

I want to see Cyclops.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, crushing people.

[C]

Yeah. And my only point is, why was I not considered for that role?

[A]

Seriously, you should have at least got an audition.

[C]

Yeah, I should have got an audition. Be like, we don't need. We can save a lot on special effects.

[A]

I want to see it. I want to see if I can get my little greasy hands on an early copy.

[C]

Yeah, you should have been in something too. You look like a big old.

[A]

Just what it is. Cuz it's just what it is. TV and film have just consistently said, well, listen, that's why I'm into stand up and podcasting.

[C]

So. But you know, as it turns out, I mean, how bad. That didn't turn out to be that bad of a thing. No, I don't think. I think people did it because they had to do it, but I don't know how many people really actually enjoyed it. What, like the process of making a movie?

[A]

No, I don't think so.

[C]

I think probably being in a play is funner, more fun.

[A]

Well, that's why you see a lot of guys doing it. But this cast from the Odyssey looks great. Now here's the. The thing is, what I want to know about what the Odyssey means to you, and I want to know about. Tell me about the Odyssey, because here's the only broad strokes that I know.

[C]

You want to take an 11 milligram just so we have something to play for?

[A]

No, but I would. But I'm holding in an emergency shit. And I already drank three coffees today because I got an hour's sleep, okay? So if I didn't, I would have taken one and given myself a heart attack. But here's what I know about the Odyssey. I know that it was written by Homer, who is the poet, who's definitely a gay kid, right?

[C]

Yeah. I mean, the thing about that is we're not sure whether it was like Homer wrote it or it was like a collection of poems and he's the guy, or maybe the guy that compiled all these oral traditions. It's just like the same thing with the Greek gods. They were around in oral traditions. Same thing with, like Christianity. Right. Oral traditions passed down. And then finally someone writes it down so they think Homer might be a bunch of different writers and he collected it or something like that. Or he could be the guy guy who. Who wrote it all. They don't know for sure.

[A]

So. So what's the difference between the Iliad and the Odyssey?

[C]

He, him, or are they them?

[A]

It's just what it is. Is it the Iliad and the Odyssey? Homer broke both of them.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So what's the Iliad? That's the one with the Battle of Troy. The Trojan Horse.

[C]

Yeah, that's the one with that. And then Odyssey's.

[A]

He's coming home, coming home, and it's coming home.

[C]

If he's going to Philly, he's coming home.

[A]

And I know that it takes him 10 years to get home. And the kid just really misses his. His wife and kids. But on the way, he does bang out some.

[C]

He bangs out some gods, he bangs out some chicks.

[A]

Just what it is. Because back then it was like, I really love my family, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to get sucked off by a siren.

[C]

So it's an amazing tale with a lot in it. And just researching for this made me

[A]

realize a lot of going about this.

[C]

I was talking about us. Well, you know, it's trending, so we're playing the Internet game.

[A]

Just what it is.

[C]

There's no bigger news right now than this. Right. Big controversy. People are upset. What's her name?

[A]

Lupus. Lupita.

[C]

Lupita.

[A]

She's an excellent actress and she is a ppp.

[C]

Now, my, my. I was telling my brother, my brother said, I saw your video, but I don't know everything about it. My brother's a super lib. So I was like, it's fine, it's no big deal. And then he goes, well, I think it's kind of stupid that she's playing Helen and, and I don't know Helen

[A]

of Troy, because Helen was most likely. If she was Troy, that's.

[C]

No, I'm sorry, Penelope. I think she's. I'm sorry, she's playing Penelope.

[A]

Who's Penelope?

[C]

Penelope is like main character, wife. Right. Is she playing Penelope? Penelope.

[A]

So is that, Is that Odyssey? Is that his wife? The guy traveling 10 years? That's his wife, yeah.

[C]

Audacious. Yeah. Who's she playing?

[A]

Pepitas in Odyssey.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

How do you spell Lupita?

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

L, U P?

[C]

Yeah. Lapitas.

[A]

Yeah, she played Helena, Troy and Helen's sister. How is she playing two people at once?

[C]

I don't know. Listen, I say, oh, and Hathaway's pamphlets too. So I was wrong about. I think people just need to give it a chance. And also it's a fictional story. Also, we're in America now, so it's like our interpretation of it. Yeah, it's the same thing with, like Greek culture. It's like Alexander the Great viewed it. You know, he wasn't Greek the way Minoans were Greek. He was Macedonia. They were all great Greek the same way the Byzantine Empire was Greek. It's a culture. That's.

[A]

Honey, that's what happens with culture, baby. Gorgeous is what people. I don't know why this isn't spoken about more. It's like when you talk about ancient cultures, when the Greek culture, the whatever. The African culture, whatever culture you're a part of, whatever you're practicing right now, there's a very high chance that your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great great grandmothers and grandfathers would be rolling over in their grave for whatever tradition you think is your culture, because it was probably raped and pillaged into you over generations after generations, and the culture changes. So that's why when people are like, that's not my culture. It's like, culture is an ever changing thing to me. Always. It's like, no, it's just one call. It's just humans.

[C]

Yeah. I don't think Greek culture is a DNA. I think, yeah, there's something to be proud of if you come from that tradition, but I don't think it's just this static, defined thing. And it's been proven. I mean, look, wherever Greek culture goes.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

Wherever Greek culture goes, goes. It makes a place first that you can't. That people always say, oh, the Greeks are gone, dude. The Greeks have never left. The Greeks, they're always here because Rome was Greek. You know, Europe is Greek. All the Greek ideas that come from those ancient Greek thinkers have traveled into other cultures.

[A]

Being gay is Greek.

[C]

Being gay is Greek. So now the Odyssey, is this Greek? Yes, it's a Greek play. But much like the Greek thinkers, it's now in America, thousands of years later. And we happen to have a little bit more of a multicultural society, by the way, much like Rome had, right? Yeah. So it's like you become Roman not because of your DNA. You become Roman because you accept certain cultural things. You become a citizen of Rome meant you accepted certain things and you abided by a certain culture.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And if everything just stuck to like a race, like the Jews, you're gonna some point just what it is. You're gonna annoy people at certain point because you're going, what is the secret thing that you want to allow other people into?

[A]

So now here's the thing. Here's what it is. The poem has 24 books and can be divided into three major. The situation in Ithaca is the first.

[C]

He had a situation with the. With the mother at that time, with

[A]

the mother in Ithaca. So Odysseus, he's missing for 20 years. He was 10 years fighting at Troy, which, that movie, you know, Troy was Brad Pitt. 10 years trying to get home. So the kid's gone for 20 years. He's got a wife, Penelope, who's being played by Anne Hathaway. She's surrounded by arrogant suitors trying to marry her and seize the kingdom. Then they have a son. Telemachus grows up without a dad and everyone assumes Odysseus is dead. The goddess Athena secretly helps Telemachus Machias search for information about his father.

[C]

Yeah, so this is a. This is a story about coming home in Philly. Coming home. And it's a. It's a story about a guy who has to make his way home with all these challenges and all these temptations.

[A]

Right?

[C]

And it's also a story about his wife, Penelope, who could also have taken an easier route, assumed he was dead and married one of these two suitors for her own safety, for own protection. And she manages to keep Ithaca afloat, ruling it alone with all these competing dudes, girl power, who are trying to tear it down. So these two people reunite and take the road less traveled. They both choose loyalty and faith in each other. She has no idea he's alive, but she continues to believe he's to going to come.

[A]

Right?

[C]

He, I think, for a couple of years, starts banging a God who promises

[A]

him yes, they had a year.

[C]

Immortality.

[A]

They had a child together.

[C]

Yeah, immortality. Constant joy, endless sex. But what he realizes is that gets boring and it has no meaning. So paradise in some way becomes a type of hell, right? Because there's no change. There's no story, there's no, most of all meaning. So he chooses his story and his life with meaning. Meaning which is ruler of Ithaca to return him.

[A]

So then we go. Jessica, you scroll up a little bit. So then we go to Odysseus. Journey. This is part two. The legendary adventures. People always talk about the Cissone C I C O N E S. I

[C]

like to call them the Chiconis.

[A]

The Chicones.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Right after Troy, Odysseus and his men raid a city called Ismatis. They get greedy, stay too long and are attacked. The early lesson here, pride and excellence get people killed. Then the lotus eaters. I've heard of this one. On another island, inhabitants eat lotus Plants that make people forget their homes and ambitions. Symbolically. Escapism, addiction, losing purpose. Odysseus drags his men back to the ships by force because these guys forgot all about their good lives. The lotus eaters. That's who I call the lovely ladies at West Garden. Then we got Cyclops, Polyphemus. This is Yanni.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

One of the most famous episodes. Odysseus and his men get trapped in the cave of the cyclops, the son of Poseidon. So a lot of people don't know Poseidon had a kid. His name was Cyclops. Odysseus gets him drunk and says his name is Nobody. Very smart after binding the cyclops.

[C]

Binding the cyclops, Yep.

[A]

Because he says when the cyclops start screaming, who's, you know, there's other cyclops. And they're saying, who's hurting you? Who's hurting you? To the cyclops who got his eye, because he got his eye stabbed. What Odysseus did is they got him real drunk and he stabbed him in his one eye. So the guy's blind and because he said his name was Nobody, he's just screaming, nobody is hurting me. Nobody is hurting me. So the cyclops, the other cyclops just leave because they're like, okay, he's fine. So then Odysseus escapes tied beneath sheep. Because what happened was, is the cyclops couldn't, you know, the reason why they stabbed the cyclops in the eye, that he had moved this huge boulder over the exit to their cave to Odysseus men in his cave. So they needed a way to get out. Even though the cyclops, they couldn't kill the cyclops, they just had to blind them. And then he was feeling Cyclops, was feeling the sheep as they left the cave. Because he needed to let his sheep out the next morning. So he opened the cave and this. And the Odysseus men tied themselves to the bottom of the sheep. So he would feel them and say, oh, that's a sheep.

[C]

But it was really a guy. Yeah. So. But he made a fatal mistake there. He brags and reveals his real name while he's sailing away. And then Poseidon becomes his divine enemy because that was his son.

[A]

And this is where the 10 years to get home is going to come into play. Cause he just makes the seeds ready

[B]

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[C]

So this is why this is the ancient Greeks. Now this is the very interesting part. The ancient Greeks sort of anthropomorphized and personified human psychology and the human experience. And let me explain because I find this very interesting. Interesting. So this whole journey is about being witty, being smart. But then there's all these warnings about like hey, bragging, being, you know, too arrogant or making these mistakes that he learns along the way that like it's good. So the the Greeks believed it's good to be smart, but you have to be what they called humble. You can't have what the Greek word hubris. When you have hubris, it's a big flaw, right? So, so Odish displays these moments of hubris that actually turn these very smart tactics into more misery. And that's why it takes so long to get home. And he learns these lessons from these mistakes that he makes. Now this is what I find interesting. The Greek gods. I never really understood the Greek gods till recently the Greek gods. What the Greeks understood was that people worship things.

[A]

Yes?

[C]

Right. So people may not think they're worshiping something, but they're Worshiping something. So if you come across a guy who loves booze, who loves chaos, loves getting wild, they would go, that guy worships Dionysus. So they just personified the force, right? The force, the motivation, the thing that the person loved. The Greeks basically said this. We're built to, we're always going to be worshiping. So something like humans worship things. So you're either worship, worshiping comfort, pride, right? Comfort, drugs, lust. So they took all these things, food, and they personified them into gods because they recognized that these were big forces that were out there that dictated the way people smart behaved. And then some of the gods, Gods were just natural forces in nature that they couldn't control. Like, so Poseidon, if you lived in an island that was very dependent on the sea, you would worship Poseidon because you'd be trying to get enough, a lot of fish, or if you felt like the wave was good, you know, you'd want to be protected at sea.

[A]

You'd.

[C]

So it was also gods that represented powerful things that were beyond human control.

[A]

Right?

[C]

So, but what was very interesting about the, the Greeks was that they, it was like psychology massed as sort of theology. And it made me think like, yeah, the Greeks were kind of smart in the sense that everyone like just to make it modern day, right? You have your atheists now. You got your, you got your theists, you got whatever, right? So an atheist goes, I don't believe in religion. You go, really? Right. You look at Ricky Gervais, you go, what are you worshiping? Really?

[A]

Right?

[C]

Something. You're worshipping. Worshiping your own smarts, you're worshiping your own pride, right? You're. I'm smarter than these idiots. I'm. I know more than them. Look at these ridiculous tales. It's so stupid.

[A]

I love Ricky Gervais.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. But I'm just saying. Yes, I love him too, but it's. There's again, his own intellect. He's worshiping the pride in himself.

[A]

We're all gonna worship something.

[C]

We're all gonna worship something. Yeah. And then you go at somebody else who's like mainly routine or like whatever it is, you go, you worship comfort. So there's always a worship, right? So. And the Greeks just personified those. Someone who loves to get drunk, someone who likes to fog. You're like, you're, you're giving in to some powerful energy that you're worshiping. Whether you admit it or not or you're conscious.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Or not of it. There's some powerful force that's Driving you towards laying yourself at the altar of something.

[A]

Right? So that's very smart the way that they, they handle that. Make it, you know, really cool to see.

[C]

So, yeah, like Athena. Oh, the goddamns of wisdom. So it's some guy who's sitting there going, I, you know, I, I need to figure this out. It's like you're worshiping at the temple of.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Of Athena.

[A]

All right, so let's go here.

[C]

So Aphrodite was a piece.

[A]

Piece. Yeah. So if you go back. Okay, so then, so we're. Now we're traveling. We're through this. You know, we're after. After Odysseus gets. Announces himself to the Cyclops and does that kind of hubris thing. Things start to get dark from here. Okay. Because then we get to Aeolus and the bag of winter sounds like a fart. His crew thinks it's treasure. And they open up this bag containing these dangerous winds that they thought was treasure and then blows them all the way back across the sea. The theme here is human stupidity ruins victory at the last second. Then we have the less Trigonians. These are cannibal giants that destroy almost the entire fleet. Only Odysseus own ship survives. The tone gets really, really dark from here. Then we get to survive Circe, the witch circa. She transforms Odysseus men into pigs with help from Hermes. Odysseus resists her magic. They eventually become lovers and stay in the island for a year. Circe later helps him continue his journey home. So this is the goddess that Odysseus banged. Yeah, is Sergey. Who looks like a piece in this painting.

[C]

Yeah. And then he decides, he decides to

[A]

see the underworld after that.

[C]

Yeah, he resists her magic.

[A]

Yeah, he resists her magic. So somehow then they go to the journey to hell in the underworld. He travels to the land of the dead and meets fallen warriors, his dead mother, these spirits. And he learns suffering awaits him. All humans die. Glory means little in death. The ghost of Achilles, AKA Elliot Page says.

[C]

Which is wild. It is wild.

[A]

Said he'd rather be a living peasant than king of the dead. The line changes the heroic values of Greek mythology entirely. That is very interesting. So they're basically saying the afterlife ain't what you think it is.

[C]

Because that's the thing. Yeah, it's basically saying like, the gods get bored. And so the gods live through us a lot. Because when you're immortal.

[D]

Right.

[C]

And this was a Greek idea, but it's also kind of like an interesting theological idea. Like if you believe in platonic realm or, you know, an immortal realm or immortal energy or a consciousness beyond us, right? You'd say, what's the one weakness to that? The one weakness would always be that there's no meaning. You have no struggle, right? You have. You get bored.

[A]

You.

[C]

You can't experience yourself. You can't.

[D]

Right.

[C]

You can't get the tingle.

[A]

You can't get the tingle.

[C]

You can't get that tingle.

[A]

Which, make no mistake, I live for a little thing called the tingle. Which brings us to the Sirens.

[C]

So this is your favorite part.

[A]

So the Sirens, or as we like

[C]

to call them, Chinese honeypot.

[A]

It's just what it is. The Sirens sing irresistible songs that lure sailors to their death. They want it. They hear these songs and they want to bang these girls out. Yeah, Sirens. I mean, for me, I just call them the Latinas.

[C]

I call them love you long time. I think they were going, odysseus, love you long time. Pussy, pussy, cheap pussy, love you long time.

[A]

So Odysseus wants to hear them without dying. So he plugs his crew's ears with earwax. And then he ties himself to the mast of the ship and they go through this straight of where the sirens are. And it becomes a symbol for resisting temptation through restraint. What Odysseus didn't know though, is the Sirens. If you.

[C]

If.

[A]

If anybody got through and resisted them, then they have to kill themselves. Yeah, that's what it is. So all the Sirens kill themselves after that.

[C]

What we wanted to say to Odishius at this time is there's an easier way. It's called just get yourself in the program.

[A]

It's just what it is.

[C]

That's the only way to resist is the program.

[A]

Get yourself in the program. Get yourself in the group text. So then he gets through that. Then we have Scylla and Carbideus. Odysseus must sail between Celia, which is a six headed monster, and Carbideus, which is a giant worm whirlpool. He choses the less, chooses the lesser evil and sacrifices some men to save the ship. Sometimes you got to just sacrifice the people.

[C]

Sometimes you got to do a little thing called Saving Private Ryan.

[A]

It's just what it is. You got to sacrifice some people and you know, you just. Whatever. Yeah, what is you get in the whirlpool or you get eaten by the monster. But listen, guy, I gotta go. I mean, I'm Odyssey. Who the hell are you?

[C]

And you're.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So basically the lesson here is sometimes leadership means you gotta. You gotta have some Losses or some unavoidable losses. You gotta choose.

[A]

Basically the only way out is it is in. It's. What is? It is.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So then the next thing is we have the cattle of Helios. Despite warnings, Odysseus starving crew, they told them on Helios, you cannot touch these cows. He goes, my guys are not going to touch the cows, don't worry. But the crew starving, so they kill the sacrificed cattle belonging to the sun God Helios, and they start to eat them. So then Zeus gets pissed and destroys their ship. Odysseus is now the sole survivor. Everybody's dead but my man Odysseus. So then they go to Calypso, which sounds like a Sandals resort in Jamaica, and they keep Odysseus trapped on the island for years and they offer him immortality if he stays, but he refuses. The key idea being even eternal pleasure cannot replace home and human connection, which I think is true.

[C]

Well, that's where he realizes, like I said, that paradise is sort of a hell because there's no meaning, right? And so that's when he realizes, I want to be audacious. I got to get back to my girl.

[A]

So then the third and final part is the return to Ithaca where he was setting out to go 20 years ago. With Athena's help, Odysseus finally returns home disguised as a beggar. He tests who is loyal, he reconnects with his son Telemachus, and he plans revenge. Penelope creates a contest who can string Odysseus massive bow? None of the suitors can do it. Odysseus reveals himself and massacres the suitors in one of the most violent scenes in Greek mythology. And order is restored.

[C]

Yeah, he kills all the guys that were vying for that Penelope pussy, right? And he, he, he returns home, she hugs him, she grabs. She waited 20 years for this guy, right?

[A]

So then they say that Odysseus, Odysseus. Unlike the other mythic heroes who rely mainly on strength, Odysseus survives through intelligence, deception and adaptability as the first Jewish man. I mean, first modern man. The first modern man. And he's complicated. He's heroic, manipulative, traumatized, prideful. He's got a little PTSD from the war trauma. Many modern scholars read the Odyssey as a story about returning home after war. Odysseus often feels emotionally distant and paranoid. He can't really get, you know, his life kind of feels. Falls apart. And then the monsters, they reflect these distorted versions of reality. Cyclops, lawless brutality, lotus eaters, passive Escapism, suitors, corruption within civilization itself. All these things still happening today.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. It's. It's a real psychological tale. It's a tale about the human experience. It's a tale about temptation. It's a tale about psychology. It's a tale about meaning.

[A]

Right.

[C]

It's a tale about loyalty. It's a tale about realism versus idealism.

[A]

Right.

[C]

It's a real.

[A]

It's also too, like, guide. It's a guide with relationships. Cause it's like, you know, what does home mean? And it's also, everybody always says, like, if you've picked the right relationship, like, it's going to be really, really hard, but you get the benefits at the end of your life. Like, you know, like. Yeah, you want to run in different posts right now. It's easy. These easy temptations, these immediate, immediate gratifications. But if you delay the gratification, that's when you really get the true pleasure. That's what they say.

[C]

And it's a. It's a. It's a story about ego, how it can lead astray. It's a story about avarice. It's a story about, I think, mostly self discovery.

[A]

Right?

[C]

So he goes through all these trials, he goes through all these temptations, he goes through all these mistakes, and he realizes who he is, and he chooses who he is.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Because there was moments throughout it where he could have got off the course of who he was.

[A]

Right.

[C]

He could have become a God, a God's play thing.

[A]

And.

[C]

Except experienced eternal sex and love and never die and never get old and. But that what, Essentially, that wasn't him.

[A]

That ain't me, babe.

[C]

So it's not me. He realizes this is me, babe.

[A]

Right?

[C]

And me is with Penelope, babe. And me is being home in Ithaca and ruling over this small little place, right? And all these things that I thought maybe I wanted, I didn't want. Because it's not me, babe.

[A]

It's what?

[C]

You know, that story. It ain't me, babe. Is that Sharon, Sonny?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And then they got divorced.

[A]

And I'm going to this movie when it comes out. I'm actually. This is the first movie I'm looking forward to in a long time since Barbie and this movie. And make absolutely no mistake, I'm gonna try to go to a showing where it's just me in the theater, because I'm absolutely gonna move my monkey to Elliot Page.

[C]

Yeah. Now, can we just end this episode by looking at a few of the trailers people have been making with Elliott Page?

[A]

And then of course, we'll read out the members of the newest members of the Patreon. But I would like to see some of these trailers. Now. Are these. AI. These are the trailers.

[C]

But listen, the Internet. What? I mean, the Internet. There's people on the Internet who are very, very funny. Like, if you're going to. If you're going to do it, be funny.

[A]

Be funny.

[C]

Just don't repeat shit or be funny. So this is like. I feel bad for Elliot Page in a way, because it's going to hurt her feelings.

[A]

This is. She's just catching anymore.

[C]

I don't think he cares at all, but he's catching straights. But they're doing all these and they're putting Elliot Page.

[A]

So this isn't real?

[C]

No, of course it's not real.

[A]

So just.

[C]

And everyone. She just gets absolutely beat the. Because there she's in a male role. So it's just. There's tons of them where. Now look, do the Troy one. This is funny.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

This one. The second one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Watch this. So this is. This was with Brad Pitt, you remember? This is Troy.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So here comes. This is just so Brad.

[D]

Brutal.

[C]

Show the ones where, like, they act where she has no shirt on and they have the scars on there. I mean, it's brutal. She can't open the jar.

[A]

Yeah, it's just what it is. They just.

[C]

There she is.

[A]

Yeah, it's just. Yeah, it's just unfortunately. I mean, really ripped, though.

[C]

Yeah, I would rip. With the scars under the tits. Yeah. So they made. There's a few of them where she has no shirt on.

[A]

They just.

[C]

You could see the scars.

[A]

Now, does the actual trailer for the movie look good, though?

[C]

I don't.

[A]

I haven't seen the actual trail. Nick, have you seen the trailer for the movie? You haven't seen it? You're not into. Because you're a movie guy. You don't like this stuff.

[C]

I haven't seen it. So this is exciting.

[A]

Can we watch this on without getting dinged on YouTube? Is that all right?

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

Yeah, just. Let's not do it with some. So we don't get dinged. We'll watch it afterwards.

[A]

Want to watch it on the Patreon? I'd like to see it on the Patreon.

[C]

Well, we could get.

[A]

Well, we can't get dinged on the Patreon.

[C]

No. Yeah, it's. It's interesting. Now just quickly, Jesse, do you think this was part of the plan?

[D]

It's an interesting theory. I don't you know, I. I respect Christopher Nolan as an artist.

[A]

Like, he's.

[C]

He.

[D]

Like, why would he do that? He's made so many good movies. Like, he doesn't need to do that.

[C]

Right, right.

[D]

As like a propaganda stunt to cast

[C]

her as you think he did.

[D]

Although it is kind of suspicious. Why would he. He cast her as Achilles, you know?

[A]

Right.

[D]

So many, like, so many actors. Badass actors that he could have kept, you know?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, who knows these days? But I mean, it could just be

[C]

a family friend thing. Like, it could be like my daughter's friends with him.

[A]

Movie's gonna be huge, though.

[C]

Oh, dude.

[A]

It's gonna crush in the body.

[D]

There's no doubt that we're talking about it because of that. Yeah.

[C]

Everyone is talking.

[D]

It's a big propaganda push and movies are in trouble. So maybe.

[C]

Maybe it's interesting. Tell us what you think in the comment section.

[A]

Yeah, comment. Like, subscribe.

[C]

Love to hear your comments.

[A]

Of course. At the end of every episode, we read out the newest members of the patreon. Go to patreon.comhistoryhyenas to get involved. It's probably our favorite part of the show. And we have a lot of fun over at Patreon. We're gonna have a lot of fun over there today because I have one hour of sleep and I'm ready to just let loose. So leading off the list, lifeguard on duty at Epstein island put them on the list. Really?

[C]

Well, that is so inventive.

[A]

Interesting.

[C]

Yeah, that is very.

[A]

Okay, so we might have a. We might.

[C]

This is LeBron James.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Came out early.

[A]

Could win crotch crop circles.

[C]

Drexler. Okay. Ooh, Strong out the gate.

[A]

Noah S. Then we got Jeffrey. Like his jizz lanes waxed well.

[C]

Pretty good. I'm going to. I'm going to Drexler. It.

[A]

Okay. Fernanda, Ferdinand, Berthlessen, Barsog, Abenyan. Then we got Jesus Israel and hates frisbees.

[C]

Just really. That's. Wait a second. It's really funny, Tony. That's for the end of the year. Jesus is real and hates frisbees. Very good.

[A]

Tristan Huxtable. Then we got Cacao, Chrissy's strip club. Oh, cockow, cockow. That's what it is.

[C]

I love how they get you, Tony. That's for the end of the year.

[A]

Cuz he was. He come on my tummy next to my mummy.

[C]

So he's laying with his mom.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Okay. We just can't do that.

[A]

Can't do it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Then we got Justin. Make no mistake. I'm a real black kid, but I'm using more than one name. Cummings,

[C]

Drexler.

[A]

Drexler.

[C]

Strong list.

[A]

Then we got J, baby two Trail. Ronnie Wrong Days.

[C]

Drexler.

[A]

Ronnie. Wrong Days.

[C]

That's me.

[A]

Yeah. What do you think? Drexler.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Drexler.

[A]

Then we got Jamal the Dallas. Mavrey Stevenson. Okay. Then we got. Need a quick HH hiatus so we can start the Third Reich. And then we got God gave Helen Keller a working fume detector.

[C]

Ladder 14. This is a guy put Tony for all these.

[A]

Caitlyn Jenner's driving instructor.

[C]

Oh, Jesus way so much. Drexler. Good one.

[A]

Then we got.

[C]

She killed the guy. Yeah.

[A]

Then we got. Drove through the hood and my car got a couple of dings. Drove through again, and now a couple of things. Got my car.

[C]

Lot of 14.

[A]

What it is.

[C]

This is just. This is a whole. This is a walked into one list.

[A]

Sometimes that happens.

[C]

Yeah. And these are all good, though.

[A]

And the thing is, we don't choose the list. The list chooses us.

[C]

The list chooses us. So, Tony, you got your word cut out for you.

[A]

Then we got white guy named John Henry. Wish I was Leroy from waist down.

[C]

Got it.

[A]

Tiger maximus. Ian O', Brien, Mr. AZT, Ballyfemis and Odysseus Puss. Wow, that's crazy. That we're talking about.

[C]

It's the hugest thing right now. Everyone's talking about it. Yeah, it's like the hugest thing on the Internet.

[A]

Ballyfemus and Odysseus Puss. Charlie is odd. Evan Lee. I like my coffee Leroy and my tea Roy Lee.

[C]

What am I missing there? Roy Le.

[A]

Like, he. Like coffee Leroy. And then because it's, you know, coffee, black, and then my tea Roy Lee. Because Asian tea Roy Lee.

[C]

Got it. Got it.

[A]

Yeah. Not bad.

[C]

Yeah. Catchy.

[A]

Reaper of Mars. Ricardo. Not a muzzy, but I will put my face in her rug.

[C]

Two decent. One decent. Chicken finger. Yeah, chicken finger.

[A]

Larry Nassar's receptionist. Talking about mental gymnastics. Gymnastics. Oh, Larry Nasser's receptionist. Talk about mental gymnastics. Got it.

[C]

Talk about mental gym.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tried for it. He went for it.

[A]

Luis Fernando Martinez. Leon.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

That's what it is.

[C]

That's what you call. That's what you call ice. Velcro.

[A]

That's what it is. Nick went pyong on that one.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Then we got bong hits from the Christ Jesus.

[C]

This is a very walked into one list.

[A]

On this episode, Chrissy talks to Josephine's trainer, on which one of his very old Closets. He should come out of ways on sof. Then we got my girl uses my nuts as a scratch and sniff.

[C]

Chicken figure.

[A]

Then we got aoc. Please fist my asshole until I'm paralyzed. Just what it is.

[C]

I'm gonna put him on the list.

[A]

Why not?

[C]

Just Cuz it's so fun.

[A]

Yeah, it's just very funny. It's time to criminalize being a wigger. Okay. Small scrabble fingers, AKA Squeak squad employee Sandra Day.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Western Hemi muzzy with a hairy hummus hose. Hummus hose.

[C]

Hummus hose. You're not winning, but welcome to the lexicon.

[A]

Like hummus cannon.

[C]

Yeah, hummus hose. I like it.

[A]

Samwise, Andrea. Uncle Russell. Uncle Russell 3.

[C]

Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Can't disparage your family. You can't do it.

[A]

Not the demo. Then we got Timmy Riley, Blake Weinstein. Then we got Portnoy. Takes one bite so he can sell the rest.

[C]

I don't get it. He's a Jew.

[A]

He's a Jew.

[C]

Oh, he takes. Sell the rest. Yeah, got it.

[A]

Can Giannis's wife tell Chrissy to stop yawning on the pod? I don't get it. Appliance dodger Amin Khanpur. Then we got Shakespeare presents George frenzy. Okay.

[C]

Ladder 14. Can you read that again?

[A]

Shakespeare presents no Frenzy. Okay. Ashley Miller Lane 23. Billy Redistributing Diva Cups at AOC's Fume Shelter for lost squeaks and battered ginger snaps Fair.

[C]

Okay. Well, for a lot in the ass

[A]

tonight by $3, Bill Collins.

[C]

Put him on the list.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Put him on the list. Yes. Tonight, put a contender.

[A]

Yeah. In the. Yeah, it's very funny.

[C]

Yeah, put him. Put him on the list.

[A]

Very, very funny. Adam Br. Sun Jews. Art of More.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Sun Jews are more.

[D]

Another Jewish joke.

[C]

What is it?

[D]

Sun Tzu, Art of War. Sunju? Art of More. Greedy Jew.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay, babe, the Glue coast monitor says my sugar is low, so put your pump in and fill my tank up.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Ace Hawk, Daniel, Stelini, Bush Light and Fireball. Alec Wolfgang Miles. M. Brandon C. Hold on. Pause the podcast. I just shit my pants.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Alicia. Ben. Ben Bratton. Scared of Mike Obama's last spread, but want to drown in seven inches.

[C]

Yeah. The lake. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Michael Baba. Michael Bama on its own might have won.

[A]

Michael Bob.

[C]

Just Mike Obama.

[A]

Michael Baba.

[C]

Yeah, just Michael Bama is very funny.

[A]

Ryan Joe, Danny Cardozo. My ALS makes for a challenging wank. Call me Glue. Gehrig. Ok. Wei Song.

[C]

She ain't. We're putting it up. What do we do put it on the list.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, if they really have als, I mean, they're making the best of it.

[C]

Yeah, but you know, we're hypocrites because we're very sensitive about racial stuff. But then like the disabled's fair game. I mean, what are we supposed to do here?

[A]

If the kid has als then we don't know. Maybe that's why we put on. Listen, maybe the kid has als.

[C]

I mean, cuz you know what? Technically that's one of the best ones of all time.

[A]

Yeah. Leroy's Boneless Jungle Ham, AKA Watermelon. Okay.

[C]

Christ. Okay.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I mean, this. Jesus Christ. Tony just put this whole list at

[A]

the end of the year.

[C]

At the end of the. Jesus Christ. Jesse's cracking up hard.

[A]

Andrew Falconer. My Tourette's flares up in East New York. AKA Leroy Tix, Wei Song Xian.

[C]

This whole list is for the fucking walk into one.

[A]

Crouching Tiger hid in Juden aka the Diary of Chan Frank.

[C]

Lady 14. CR Tiger Hidden Juden. Guys, I mean, what do you want to do?

[A]

I mean, we got to put it at the end of the year.

[C]

Tiger hitting. You did the Diary of Chad Frank? Yeah, I mean, it deserves to be on the list.

[A]

So then put it on the list.

[C]

But it's also a walked into one. Put it on the list.

[A]

Put on the list.

[C]

Crouching Tiger Hidden. Uden is very funny.

[A]

Kyle Ramos. Matthew Guarnier. No. Preston. Brett Glacowski. Twerk, Wind and Fire.

[C]

Chicken finger. Yeah.

[A]

Oil money, house Call it a sandcastle. Matt Rymanowski. Jeff Simpson. Will peptides fix my crooked piece?

[C]

Chicken Finger.

[A]

Deep Throat. Cuck boat. Lake monkey. Sick of all the Somali pirates. Move to the Keys and all I got was a peptide induced domestic violence. Violence charge.

[C]

Shouldn't hit women guy.

[A]

Yeah. Jacob Ponce, Jason Lock. Dakota Wiggins. Asian Pirate. I don't steal treasure, I fry plane Way Song.

[C]

End of the year.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Then we got Cardinal George Pell, Marcus Dylan and Sebastian Miles and Adam Moreno. Welcome.

[C]

All those other boys want you to know if you just give your name, you, you're straight to the back. You're here for the business. And we appreciate you just as much.

[A]

Just as much. Okay, so here's the list.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Lifeguard on duty at Epstein's Island.

[C]

We're gonna drexer that right off the bat.

[A]

Okay, so we know that. Then we got aoc, please fist my asshole until I'm paralyzed.

[C]

I wanna keep that around for the funny fact.

[A]

Keep it around. Then we got in the ass tonight by $3, Bill Collins.

[C]

Keep it around.

[A]

Okay, and then we have Crouching Tiger Hidden Juden, AKA the Diary of Chan Frank. Oh, and we also have My ALS makes for a challenging Wankle Me, Glue Garrick.

[C]

Keep that around. We got 4chan Frank.

[A]

Keep around as well.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, so it's between AOC Please fist my asshole until I'm paralyzed in the ass tonight by $3 Bill Collins. My ALS makes for a challenging Wang. Call me Glue Gehrig or Crouching Tiger Hidden Juden, AKA the Diary of Chan Frank.

[C]

All four of these speak to me. All four of these speak to me. Okay, so this is a tough one. We're going to have to. This is going to have to be made as a group. Okay, so there's no clear winner here.

[A]

So for me, because it caught me late, I like in the ass tonight by $3 bill Collins. I think a $3 bill one is really, really hard to get. And that's one. In the Ass Tonight is very funny. Funny in the Ass Tonight by Phil Collins would have won.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

So that's my pick.

[C]

Yeah. Okay.

[D]

Yeah, I. I like in the Ass Tonight. I could hear the soundtrack going. But I'm going with Glue Garrig.

[C]

Glue Garrig. Strong one.

[D]

Nick Eric.

[C]

Yeah, I like Chan Frank and Ass tonight also.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Whoa, whoa. So it's down to me. Whoa.

[A]

So, well, we have a vote. We have two votes for in the Ass tonight.

[C]

No, he went Ask tonight and Chan Frank, both.

[A]

You have to. Which one you have to pick? Yeah, Ass and the Ass tonight got two votes.

[C]

So it could still down to me.

[A]

Still down to you. Because he didn't pick that one. He picked Glue Garrick.

[C]

Glue Garrick.

[A]

So if you pick in the astronaut,

[C]

there's three different ones.

[A]

Well. Well, in the afternoon, it has two votes. If you gave it a third vote, it wins. If you give Glue Gehrig. Both tied.

[C]

And we got to go to the people. Can you read them one more time?

[A]

AOC Please fist my asshole until I'm paralyzed.

[C]

Okay, we're going to drag to that.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

In the ass tonight by $3, Bill Collins. Keeping it around my ALS makes for a challenging Wang. Call me Glue Gehrig or Crouching Tiger Hidden Juden, AKA the Diary of Chan Frank.

[C]

All right, I'm going to fuck this up. I'm going with. With. Who'd you pick?

[D]

Glue Garrick.

[C]

I'm going with Glue Garrick. Okay, so we're tied.

[A]

So we have a tie. Now.

[C]

That's a. That's the best one.

[A]

The fans you have to go to patreon.com history hyenas is it my ALS makes for a challenging Wang. Call me Glue Garrig or in the ass tonight by $3. Bill Collins those are, those are the contenders. Now people have been saying, is there a way to put a poll up somewhere?

[C]

Can we do that?

[A]

Is there a way?

[C]

There's got to be a way.

[D]

I guess. I guess.

[C]

Is there a way on Patreon to do that?

[D]

Or we could just make a separate post and I guess everyone would vote there.

[C]

No, but they're saying there's a way to do a poll.

[A]

But if, if the separate post is that because they say then it gets lost in the comments and the messages and so let's think of a cleaner way to do it.

[C]

But we'll figure it out.

[A]

We'll.

[C]

We'll do a poll. I think there's a way to do a poll.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Patreon.com historyainos go over there right now. We got another episode.