The Secret Life of Da Vinci

Summary

Podcast Summary: History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas – The Secret Life of Da Vinci

In the episode titled "The Secret Life of Da Vinci" from the comedic podcast History Hyenas! hosted by Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas, listeners are treated to a vibrant blend of humor and historical speculation surrounding one of history's most enigmatic figures: Leonardo da Vinci. Released on December 12, 2024, the hosts delve into the lesser-known aspects of da Vinci's life, intertwining comedic banter with intriguing (albeit humorous and speculative) interpretations of historical facts.

Introduction to Da Vinci's Personal Life

The episode commences with Yannis Pappas introducing Leonardo da Vinci, setting the stage for an unconventional exploration of his personal life and relationships. From the onset, Yannis humorously asserts, "[...] I would bang Mona Lisa. Like Leonardo da Vinci. Like. Yes. And we're gonna tell you all about that." (01:14)

Leonardo da Vinci's Sexuality and Relationships

Chris and Yannis delve into speculative discussions about da Vinci's sexuality, portraying him as a figure who "liked them young" and suggesting that he engaged in relationships with both men and women without the constraints of modern labels. Yannis remarks, "Da Vinci only did engineering and he was the definition of his paintings. The kid was on the ice." (33:18) This provocative take serves as a springboard for their comedic exploration of historical norms versus contemporary understandings of sexuality.

Da Vinci vs. Michelangelo: A Rivalry Fueled by Genius

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the legendary rivalry between Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo. The hosts reenact a fictionalized confrontation where Michelangelo challenges da Vinci's artistic prowess, leading to da Vinci's creation of the Mona Lisa as a "response" to his rival. Chris narrates, "Da Vinci turns away, like, in embarrassment and was, like, very upset by it all [...] I'm gonna paint the Mona Lisa." (22:22) This dramatization underscores their playful approach to historical events, blending fact with imaginative storytelling.

Hidden Symbols and Conspiracy Theories in Da Vinci's Art

The conversation shifts to the intricate details of da Vinci's artwork, particularly the Mona Lisa and the Annunciation. Yannis speculates about hidden symbols, suggesting that da Vinci embedded a "Satan's face" within his paintings, visible only through modern technology. He states, "Da Vinci painted a self-portrait of himself looking away from Christ always...he put a Satan's face in there." (36:37) While these claims are satirical and unfounded, they highlight the hosts' creative liberties in interpreting art history.

Da Vinci's Multifaceted Genius

Beyond his art, the hosts acknowledge da Vinci's remarkable contributions to various fields such as anatomy, engineering, and architecture. Yannis applauds da Vinci's diverse interests, noting, "If you want to be a Renaissance man, the problem for us is we love our kids [...]" (46:25), emphasizing da Vinci's role as the quintessential Renaissance man, excelling in multiple disciplines without the fixation on completing projects—a trait humorously likened to modern-day procrastinators.

Speculations on Da Vinci's Legacy and Influence

Chris and Yannis entertain wild theories about da Vinci's lasting legacy, including whimsical ideas like time travel and da Vinci influencing future generations through mysterious means. Chris humorously posits, "Da Vinci used to eat boys [...]" (69:17), blending absurdity with their playful narrative style, ultimately reinforcing the show's comedic essence.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on da Vinci's enduring fascination and the thin line between historical fact and creative fiction. Yannis concludes, "If you listen to Uncle Sean over here, see how you can listen to stories and...and get real nice stories spoken to you at lunchtime in the library from somebody." (62:50), highlighting the blend of education and entertainment that defines History Hyenas!.

Notable Quotes

• Yannis Pappas (01:14): "I would bang Mona Lisa. Like Leonardo da Vinci. Like. Yes. And we're gonna tell you all about that."

• Chris Distefano (22:22): "I'm gonna paint the Mona Lisa."

• Yannis Pappas (36:37): "Da Vinci painted a self-portrait of himself looking away from Christ always...he put a Satan's face in there."

• Chris Distefano (69:17): "Da Vinci used to eat boys [...]"

Final Remarks

The Secret Life of Da Vinci episode offers a comedic yet thought-provoking take on Leonardo da Vinci's life and works. While imbued with humor and speculative assertions, the hosts aim to engage listeners by blending historical elements with their unique comedic style. This approach makes history accessible and entertaining, encouraging audiences to ponder the mysteries of the past through laughter and creative storytelling.

For those interested in a laugh-out-loud journey through history with a comedic twist, this episode of History Hyenas! is a must-listen.

Transcript

[Giannis Papas]

ABC Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[Chris Distefano]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out.

[Giannis Papas]

What the rest of my life looks like. So a couple of days when his.

[Chris Distefano]

Daughter moves back in.

[Giannis Papas]

The last time you walked out that.

[Chris Distefano]

Door, you looked back at me and gave me a double bird. I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations. The wheels come off. Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults?

[Giannis Papas]

Have you watched the news lately? That's not a thing anymore. New Wednesdays, 8, 7 Central on ABC.

[Chris Distefano]

And stream on Hulu SA. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm Yanni the Greek sitting here with Chrissy the German. And I just want to start by saying Mona Lisa, fumes or no fumes?

[Giannis Papas]

I'm gonna go fumes. Because she was. She has an oil painted pussy.

[Chris Distefano]

Cuz I remember, I remember a time when you sent me a picture of one of the Lion King characters and it was a female lion and you asked me if she was hotter now and that you wanted to bang her.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, that's Nya and I and that's Naya from the Lion King and I have cranked it to her multiple times as well as Ursula from the Little Mermaid. And it's slow.

[Chris Distefano]

So my question today we're doing Leonardo DiCaprio.

[Giannis Papas]

It's a wild one.

[Chris Distefano]

Mona Lisa. Would you.

[Giannis Papas]

1000% I would bang Mona Lisa. Like Leonardo da Vinci. Like. Yes. And we're gonna tell you all about that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. That's what you call truth. Bader Ginsburg. That's what you call an hhfod. That's what you call an unfortunate reality of history.

[Giannis Papas]

That's what you call a smash cookie on the floor.

[Chris Distefano]

That's smushed and it's on the floor. It's under my shoe.

[Giannis Papas]

You can't get around certain truths of antiquity. Yeah, certain. And the truth is, is that they just used to like them young.

[Chris Distefano]

They liked them young.

[Giannis Papas]

They like boys. And back in Leonardo da Vinci's time, we're talking 1470s to 1530s. Roughly the kid. Back then there was no real label for being gay.

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Giannis Papas]

You were just a human being and you ate whatever was on the table.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

If there was a girl on the table, you ate that. If there was a boy on the table, you ate that. If there was a young boy on the table, sometimes you turn the lights off and you ate that.

[Chris Distefano]

You ate that.

[Giannis Papas]

And it's just what it Was. And that was a bit of a freer society back then where you could just kind of say, you know what, I'm just a human being and I'll bang who I want to bang. And that's what da Vinci did.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Free as a bird. Free as a bird. Which Leonardo da Vinci loved birds. You're right. Sexuality back then was like coming into a house party and whatever they put on the table, you eat.

[Giannis Papas]

Sometimes you.

[Chris Distefano]

Shrimp cocktail.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Sometimes if you're at like a low class place that you can't bring Tim Dillon to because he'll leave.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

There'll be Cheetos.

[Giannis Papas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

There'll be paper plates. There'll be things that that snob from Long Island.

[Giannis Papas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Just will get upset about.

[Giannis Papas]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

But sometimes there's nice stuff like tuna on a cracker. And sometimes there's a 14 year old kid without a Sherman.

[Giannis Papas]

It is. Now here's the thing folks, is we are, as you could tell, if you're watching this [e-mail] historyainas you will notice that we are in a new studio. And this is probably gonna be our new studio moving forward. And it's qq. Cute. The one big note I'm gonna have to have for Patty clips.

[Chris Distefano]

Who's running it all is only whites in here.

[Giannis Papas]

Right. That's that. Because this kind of. This table is just temporary. The problem with a table like this is I don't have an issue with it. But I'm so close to you that you will get kissed on the lips. I've never talked to you and done a podcast episode where. I mean the last time when our old history in the studio, the table we were set back. I don't know if I could be in this proximity to your lips. Cause make mistake. Cuz zins you with a Zen in your mouth is hot. Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. What I'm suspicious of. And I will be honest. What I'm suspicious. Absolutely. Obviously flat of 14 all the time. I was suspicious of the yamis. But what I'm suspicious of is you're Yanni the Yami. I'm Yanni the Yami. You are.

[Giannis Papas]

Because you've been screwed in lately.

[Chris Distefano]

I am screwed. I have my yami permanently glued to my head.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

I don't even take it off the shower. No, I keep it on.

[Giannis Papas]

You got it on. And you have hair today, which is amazing. Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

It depends on the day. It depends on your shampoo. This is what I'm suspicious of is you've picked the last of the few topics. And each one of these guys is bisexual.

[Giannis Papas]

What it is. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You keep just flying towards these guys.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Who they really, really munch at the buffet. Yeah, yeah. They take a little bit of everything. Yeah, yeah. They take a little carrots, they take a little buffalo wigs and they take a little boy.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So I want to know how you've been feeling about these topics. Are they making you feel a little less alone?

[Giannis Papas]

They're making. Feel a little less alone. And make no mistake, I was watching. And by the way, people, somebody suggested every time one of us says make no mistake, they should do a shot. You should do that. Every time we do. Make no mistake, do a shot and then send a video to patreon.com history hyenas. But I was watching documentary about da Vinci, Leonardo da Vinci. Fascinating. With Jasmine. And there was a. Right before we started watching this documentary, you know, they're talking about. You know, they eventually go on talking about how he's definitely. But not even bisexual. He was.

[Chris Distefano]

He was a gay guy.

[Giannis Papas]

He was a gay guy.

[Chris Distefano]

Which, by the way, do you think he was able to study all that stuff and have such a big brain and be one of the most brilliant people in history because he was freed up from having to talk to people with smaller brains? A lot of the.

[Giannis Papas]

I think so.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, you look at a lot of the brilliant people from history and there's just no women in the picture.

[Giannis Papas]

No, most of them were gay. Most of the geniuses of our time are gay.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you ever think Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci got into a sword fight because they were there at the same time and they were two gay kids?

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Michelangelo also was a gay guy.

[Giannis Papas]

It was a gay. Michelangelo was a gay guy. And we'll get to him. But he was young and hot. And da Vinci, by the time Michelangelo met da Vinci was just kind of old and haggard.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, but he could have been into that. He could have been into. What's that fetish in the gay community called? That's not bear. What is that?

[Giannis Papas]

Elder eld. They do a daddy, daddy, daddy.

[Chris Distefano]

A zaddy or a daddy.

[Giannis Papas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, they're into that. Or a sugar daddy. So what?

[Giannis Papas]

I mean, these mics are heavy.

[Chris Distefano]

You know what you're holding that like right now? The guy from Queen. What's his name?

[Giannis Papas]

Freddie Mercury.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you're holding like Freddie Mercury. You just. You lean towards gays.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

Politically you lean right. And socially you lean gay.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is, cuz. So. So I think I Think that. So we're watching this documentary, and like, 20 minutes before it started documentary, I had said to Jazz, you know, I was trying to write something.

[Chris Distefano]

I want to fucking hang an ornament. I want to hang an ornament off of his Christopher Reeves curl.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I just want to hang an ornament on that for Christmas. For Christmas episode. Can you just hang an ornament?

[Giannis Papas]

Can you hear?

[Chris Distefano]

He's gay.

[Giannis Papas]

You're gay.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Because you were inept. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay, so that's gonna be on the Patreon. That's it. So. Okay. So, I mean. Yeah, look at that. Because, I mean, look at Patty clips looking at us like we're muffins behind the glass.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

I mean, this kid. We're looking at it like we are croissant. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, yeah, he needs to. Let's go to the store, get a couple of bacon, egg, and cheeses for us and a wegovy for him.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is. So I had said. I had said before, right before we started documentary, I had said, you know, I'm trying to write whatever. And I'm like, nothing gets done. Does anything ever get finished? I just said that. Like, I was frustrated. Whatever. We watched the documentary. 45 minutes into the documentary, they were going over Leonardo da Vinci's notebooks, and he had written in Italian, whatever the translation is. He goes, nothing. Nothing ever gets done. I can't finish anything. And then Jasmine was like, isn't that weird? That's exactly what you just said. And da Vinci's over here saying that exact thing 500 years ago, running around sculpting men. That's what you do.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

And I was. And I was. I was like, do you think I'm gay? And Jasmine looked at me, she goes, I know you are.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

And then walked away with her little stupid ponytail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What it is. But. Cuz. But we embrace it. What I want to say, what I'd like to do is be me, be who I want to be, and just say, if I want to go out to a bar, if I want to go to Houston and meet a guy, it's not gay. I'm just saying what I'm doing is I'm going back in time.

[Chris Distefano]

You're a Renaissance man.

[Giannis Papas]

I'm a Renaissance man. I'm going. I'm going to say, you know, it's. I'm. I'd like to Da Vinci with you.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. You like to Da Vinci?

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You know, it's fascinating about Leonardo da Vinci. I think today they would have put him on Adderall and said he had add. That kid definitely had adhd. And it just shows you, if you don't fix a kid and you encourage a kid that he will discover things because he didn't finish anything. And that's what they say is one of the big symptoms of adhd is you start one thing and you move on to the next. This kid had a lot in common with you.

[Giannis Papas]

Well, it's a lot of in common with me. And I love how 20 minutes into the documentary, they said, and most likely he was gay. I said, for the first 20 minutes of documentary, you told me the documentary said all he used to do as a kid is sketch drapes. I was like, you're not drawing pictures of the drapes unless you're a gay, gay kid. That's all his early drawings were, just pictures of drapes.

[Chris Distefano]

If you're in the arts, you got.

[Giannis Papas]

Nicked at least 100%.

[Chris Distefano]

There's no way you didn't get nicked. If you're doing comedy, if you're doing finger painting like Jesse, if you're. If you're an architect, anything in the arts, you got at least nicked or you got clipped. And this kid got fully clipped.

[Giannis Papas]

He got fully clipped. Now, Jesse, as well as you said Jesse liked to sculpt Soto da Vinci, but Jesse would sculpt fat people. Da Vinci only sculpt ripped dudes.

[Chris Distefano]

He only skipped because Jesse's a straight kid, so he goes for the funny. But Leonardo da Vinci just wanted anything that he was working on to make himself.

[Giannis Papas]

What was also very fascinating about Leonardo da Vinci is, thank God the kid was an orphan and rejected by his mother because he's from the town of. He's not even from Vinci.

[Chris Distefano]

Is the town or province basically gay Jon Snow?

[Giannis Papas]

He's gay Jon Snow. So what was beautiful about that is if he was whatever his biological father, I think was some type of. Had some type of apprenticeship. And back then, if you had to do what your father did, so he would have been, you can't do the arts no matter what. But because he was an orphan and let go, he was free to do anything. He was free to be gay, free to paint, free to sculpt. So you would have not had Leonardo da Vinci if the kid wasn't put up for adoption.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Now, how about us, right? We got two dads. I didn't become a guy who needed to do lithium. You didn't become a guy who hung out at Indian casinos. Now, how did that happen?

[Giannis Papas]

I don't.

[Chris Distefano]

Cuz you're supposed to be doing what our dads did.

[Giannis Papas]

I know. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But I am. I will tell you one thing similar, me and my dad is I'm going back to Staten island and that's just like my dad did. And it's what it is, cuz. And make no mistake, I'm in over my head on that mortgage payment. So go to patreon.com history so but it's what it is. And I think that, I think that with, with da Vinci, what was fascinating to me about the kid is first of all, if you go, let's. I want to tell. I want to go back in time.

[Chris Distefano]

Take us back.

[Giannis Papas]

Take you back. So that time, 1490s, early 1500s, if you were in Florence, cuz if you were in Florence, Italy, in a fricking two block radius, they used to hang out at the piazzas, the little cafe spots. You had Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo and Machiavelli all sitting down in the piazzas, just, you know, talking about philosophy, talking about sculptures, talking about art. I mean that would have been cute, cute, cute to come over there and have a black and white cookie with them.

[Chris Distefano]

That would have been really nice to be a fly on the wall and just listen to those gay kids.

[Giannis Papas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Talking about high art and culture and politics. Leonardo da Vinci, I always want to.

[Giannis Papas]

Say Leonardo da Vinci. Was he named after one of the Ninja Turtles?

[Chris Distefano]

I think he was.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I think he was.

[Giannis Papas]

So was Raphael.

[Chris Distefano]

Isn't that funny? The guy's like probably the biggest genius of all time. And what we did is name a fucking ninja Turtle after him. Yeah, that's what you get. That's American culture, right? What it is, nobody's taught about him in school. You're taught about him when you're playing with your other kids in the living room. Yeah, it's not great.

[Giannis Papas]

You don't even get to discover Leonardo da Vinci unless you kind of are in the gay part of town.

[Chris Distefano]

That's the only way. That's the only way.

[Giannis Papas]

We would not have ever. Like. Do you think my friends from home or your friends from home care or even want to know about Leonard da Vinci?

[Chris Distefano]

No. The kids me and Jesse grew up with. Me and Jesse became friends because we went to art museums. And I love going to art museums with Jesse because he explains everything, he knows everything. But no kid we grew up to can even like go into a museum without feeling like a full homosexual.

[Giannis Papas]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

And thinking that there's Something wrong with it.

[Giannis Papas]

Right?

[Chris Distefano]

And you too. You're the same thing. You're the goodwill hunting of Ridgewood, Queens. You can't go in there and let them know that. Guys, I can't come out tonight. I can't watch a Jets game with you.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Because I got to watch this PBS documentary, this publicly funded documentary by Ken Burns. You know Ken Burns is. They go, who is he? A backup catcher in the minor leagues for the Mets. You go, no, yeah. He's a guy who spanned four decades making great documentaries that I thoroughly enjoy. Yeah. Yeah. That I have to watch alone in my room because nobody in my family wants to watch this either. Because I'm a fully flamed out, fully charged, fucking German nicked kid.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is, cuz.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, but it's.

[Chris Distefano]

You got gay interests.

[Giannis Papas]

I got gay interests.

[Chris Distefano]

And so do I. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

And I was fascinated. I was fascinated learning about da Vinci because what was amazing about him is the kid would start painting and sculpting and then just not put out that work ever. Because he just followed his brain and he followed his heart.

[Chris Distefano]

He followed his heart.

[Giannis Papas]

And a lot of you guys don't follow your heart.

[Chris Distefano]

No, you gotta follow your heart.

[Giannis Papas]

Follow your heart.

[Chris Distefano]

Follow your heart.

[Giannis Papas]

And that's what da Vinci did. Because what da Vinci said, he said, listen, I'm doing the work.

[Chris Distefano]

Patty Clips follows his stomach.

[Giannis Papas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

So does Patrick Italia.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. So do they do. So that's what for Christmas they're getting wegovy.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Little Wago. Yeah. That's what it is, cuz. And make no mistake, at patreon.com historyitas we're gonna talk about them big. So that's behind the paywall.

[Chris Distefano]

Big. Big pun intended.

[Giannis Papas]

Big pun intended. And. And we also, by the way, got a big surprise in a couple of weeks, we're doing the biggest podcast that's ever existed together.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

It's gonna be fun. You can wanna listen.

[Chris Distefano]

We're doing it with biggest podcast with the biggest host.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

The host is squeezed.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. If he heard, it'd be okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Shout out Kendrick Lamar Schultz. What's going on?

[Giannis Papas]

Oh, my God.

[Chris Distefano]

I think we're gonna wait a couple months to ask to go off flag. We're doing things till things co.

[Giannis Papas]

I don't need that. Because I don't need that. I don't need to be in the podcast studio, then the fucking shootout.

[Chris Distefano]

I just don't need it in my life. And I got kids. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Make no mistake. If a shootout, if a shootout ever did break out, me and you were guests on flagrant. To make no mistake, every single one of us in that studio would be grabbing Akash and putting it up as a shield. That's what we do. We say just shoot up. Jk, jk.

[Chris Distefano]

Shout out to an old school Patreon member who if he does this name again, if he comes back again, he's getting the PW again. What he says, I was reminded by it, it was the, the first Ducks of history. Hyenas. His patriot name was Fuhrer. Schultz made Akash a Slumdog Millionaire. Yeah, it's what it is. It's a 10 and it's a hall of famer and it just deserves a mid episode shout out.

[Giannis Papas]

Did he, did that, did he originally win the PPW on Patreon?

[Chris Distefano]

He did. With that. Yeah, he's one of the hall of famers, so.

[Giannis Papas]

But here's the thing with kids like that, if they make funny names like that, you always have the opportunity to change your name and then if you got talent, you got talent.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Much like Leonardo da Vinci. Da Vinci, you think, oh, he's only a painter. And then they find his notebooks and then they find he was making helicopters. Dude. The kid sketched out a heart valve, like operation with water off a calf's heart. He sketched that out in the 1520s, 500 or 400 years before it was ever done in practice. Because the kid would sketch and it wasn't even about being practiced. It wasn't even about those inventions coming to life. The kid just sketched in his brain. Do you think. Here's an honest question, two questions. Do you think, A, he would be defined as maybe being on the spectrum today or B, was the kid an alien? Honest?

[Chris Distefano]

The first one I know, definitely he wasn't autistic because why do you think. Here's the wild thing about him, he wasn't one of these tortured artist types. The kid was social, he was flamboyant, he was a lot of fun. And also he sounded like your brother. Yeah, he was hot. Yeah, he was a good looking guy and he was in shape. They said the kid was ripped, so the kid must have been doing some jailhouse workouts because he was obsessed with anatomy. He, he had, he got cadaver. Cadavers and he dissected him and he wanted to learn anatomy. Like 30 bodies. He cut up himself.

[Giannis Papas]

And by the way, just let me just, just, just. Sorry to cut you off, but the anatomy, the cadavers think about back Then at that time in the middle of the summer in Italy, those bodies begin to decay within hours. So this kid was able to cut open a body, not being a surgeon, cut open a body and then sketch it relatively accurately all in the span of a couple hours.

[Chris Distefano]

Here's another thing he has in common with you.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

That he worked with cadavers and he's Italian. So you know, at some point he was probably eating a little fettuccine Alfredo and it fell inside the body.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Which happened to you.

[Giannis Papas]

Shout out Dr. Futterman.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Which is what it is. And it fell inside the body and then the kid pinned it and it was one of the veins. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So if you don't know. Yeah. If you don't remember, Jesse Chrissy is, got a PhD in physical therapy. So he had to work with cadavers to learn anatomy and stuff so he could know how to put his hands on you and massage you out. And at one point he was eating fettuccine Alfredo and a noodle fell inside the body.

[Giannis Papas]

If noodle fell inside the body and then it stayed there. We had, we would, they would let us go in on the weekends when, you know, obviously the big practical exams, you have to, you know, know the cadavers. You have to know every part of the body and this and that. So you know, after a while you just get used to the, the, you know, you're not, it's not so ghastly to you anymore. You could just deal with it. So I went in there on a Saturday with my lab partners and we studied all night. I was eating fettuccine Alfredo over the. I didn't realize maybe I had some on my chin. It fell into the body. And then when we had the exam on Monday, you know, they keep the lab cold. It had kind of hardened and it was like laying in the body, I forgot exactly where. Somewhere in the, you know, around one of the veins it was laying in the body and you know, it was just in there and it's what it is. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, if the cadaver was an Italian kid, he would understand. Yeah, he would understand. Look, he gets some guys like, they love fettuccine Alfredo so much. It's like I want to be buried with some fettuccine Alfredo inside my body now.

[Giannis Papas]

Cuz there was a fascinating part of this, of the documentary that I watched of my research. There was a day like a recorded day in history, which is, this is fascinating. And this is again, you have to have as a Matter of fact, just because I am close to you and we'll be talking. Let's just let the gay out. One, two, three, y. Okay, we're resetting.

[Chris Distefano]

So it really works?

[Giannis Papas]

It does.

[Chris Distefano]

It really fucking works.

[Giannis Papas]

It's a breathing technique. So there was a day in history I forgot the exact date and we. I would be able to pull it up, but we don't have a monitor in the new studio yet. But make no mistake, we will next week. Yeah, so do a shot. So in the piazza, they're talking about the Divine Comedy. I think that was like Dante's Inferno, right? Is that the time? So that, that was like the thing that they were all obsessed with back then. That was like the big work. So Michelangelo, I'm sorry, Machiavelli and Leonardo da Vinci are talking about this Divine Comedy. And this is at a point in da Vinci's life where he was in his 50s already. Michelangelo's the hot young kid. Like, you know, he was the new kid in Florence. Everyone wanted him. They loved. Da Vinci was a legend, but this is the new blood. So Machiavelli was friends with all of them because he was a big thinker, you know, and would love to pick brains. And he was famous for, like, wanting to pit artists against each other. Like, Machiavelli was always thinking a few steps ahead, he believed to fake his own death, all that. So the original Tupac. So Machiavelli they were talking about. Da Vinci had kind of been a little bit embarrassed in his life at this point because the. The head of Florence at that time asked him to make this big bronze statue.

[Chris Distefano]

Now that's the Medici family.

[Giannis Papas]

The Medici family, right. They want him to ask this, this big bronze statue. Da Vinci wanted to make a 70 foot horse up on Italian legs out of France.

[Chris Distefano]

Right? This wasn't Medici.

[Giannis Papas]

No, no, no. This is not in France. Da Vinci only goes to France at the end of his life. Da Vinci did not leave Italy until he was 60.

[C]

This was in Milan.

[Chris Distefano]

No, this was in Milan. Okay, so this is Milan or Florence? No, it was Milan.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay, so Milan is where he. But. But where this event, I'm going to tell you, happens in Florence. So in Milan then, he was designing this bronze horse and whatever. He's taking so much time. Da Vinci, he's trying to do a whole new pulley system way one of his wild inventions, it's not working. It keeps crumbling. Can't do it. So eventually the, the Italian. This Italian film, I guess the Medicis get into a. Yet another endless Italian War. And so they take the bronze from him. They basically like, da Vinci, stop. Like, you're done. We need that bronze to make bullets, to kill, you know, whatever, the French or whomever. So it was a big embarrassment for the kid. Da Vinci around, you know, town, whatever. And then there's Machiavelli asks da Vinci in the piazza. And this is again being recorded by someone asked da Vinci, hey, what do you think? What do you think, like, the meaning of the Divine Comedy is? And, you know, Machiavelli, they said he was, like, grabbing, like, his. You know, playing with his red beard, whatever, like, long red beard. And Michelangelo was scurrying across the piazza at that time holding all his paintbrushes, you know, and, you know, just being a gay kid at the time painting the Sistine, I think, coming up with the idea to paint the Sistine Chapel, that's what they said at the time. And he says, michael, because Da Vinci didn't know that Michelangelo didn't like the kid. So Da Vinci says to Michelangelo goes, michelangelo, what do you think is the point of the Divine Comedy? And they said Michelangelo just, like, turned to him and said, oh, coming from you, the man who couldn't even make the bronze statue, that I could do in my sleep. Whoa.

[Chris Distefano]

And then. And then fat fight.

[Giannis Papas]

And then ran away. And they said da Vinci turned away. Da Vinci turned away, like, in embarrassment and was, like, very upset by it all. And then what? Machiavelli knew that these two artists didn't like each other. So what he did was, is there was a big thing in Florence happening where they would have artists. The people would pick artists to pick a mural for the wall for whatever wall that they want to do the art on. And Machiavelli said, thinking ahead, he said to the commission, he said, we should have Michelangelo. We should have Michelangelo do the commission. And they said, okay, Michelangelo will do it. And they put. He purposely said, michelangelo should do it in this room. And it was right next to Da Vinci's studio. So Da Vinci knew that Michelangelo was there making whatever artist thing. And Da Vinci said, fuck the both of you. I'm gonna start making the Mona Lisa.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow. Is that how it happened?

[Giannis Papas]

That's how he began to do it.

[Chris Distefano]

Now, you know, when those kids were around each other and they were around other citizens, yeah, they talked different. You know, because back then, yeah, there was a. There was laws against sodomy. You know, you weren't allowed to be a gay kid. So, you know, although they hate each other. And it was a real cat Fight. It was a real girl fight.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you know when they were around regular dudes, they were like, what's up? My name is Leonardo da Vinti. But then when Leonardo and Michelangelo got together, they were like, bitch, fuck you. Betch you think you're fucking good. I could have painted that in my fucking sleep. So, you know, scurry. When he scurried over, he was more like, I could have fucking done that.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

That fucking horse that you couldn't complete.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Mr. Oh, my God. I have a new interest. Miss? Mr. I can't complete anything. Mr. Oh, my God. I'm a scientist and not an artist. And, oh, my God, I don't even fucking care about my talent for art. I'm going in a history, bitch. You can't even make a helicopter, bitch. You're trying to make a helicopter, bitch. Well, it's too heavy and they don't have the technology, butch. Yeah, I'm going to paint the Sistine Chapel. I'm fucking gonna go make the fucking pizza. I'm fucking making the Madonna, and I'm going down in fucking history, bitch.

[Giannis Papas]

Work, work, baby. Okay. You want to go paint your little ass supper? Well, I'm over here sculpting David's.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Bats.

[Giannis Papas]

So look at his little cock. Like, you bitch, that's the last supper. Ew.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And then fucking. One of the Medicis came in and they were like, yeah, man, fuck that, dude. I'm doing that, you know, you're good. I'm good, whatever. But I think I'm better. That's all I'm saying. Then he left. He went, fuck you, batch.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. He literally said, oh, you couldn't even make a horse schedule. He just ran away painting. He was like, ah, yeah. And by the way, that whole thing of then Leonardo da Vinci painted. Started to get into paint the Lisa. That is a fact today. But that's a history hyena's fact today. So you got to research it.

[Chris Distefano]

You got to research it, because we.

[Giannis Papas]

Are the Chatgpt sluts. But it sounds good. And make no mistake, history is a story.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

You just play with the facts.

[Chris Distefano]

Play with the facts a little bit.

[Giannis Papas]

Because nobody really knows.

[Chris Distefano]

Nobody knows. Nobody was there.

[Giannis Papas]

I gotta slick my hair back.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you gotta do that, Superman.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Here's the question of the day. Tell me, did Leonardo da Vinci bang a male prostitute and get arrested for sodomy? Survey says it did happen. It did.

[Giannis Papas]

But he very powerful people got da Vinci out. The thing is, I wanna know if this was American names, I would Know him. But all these names, I don't know what they're saying. Everybody just sounds like their names is Linguini. Carbonaro.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

I don't know what their names are.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, because so.

[Giannis Papas]

But that is a fact. That did happen. And da Vinci could have gotten. He could have not only got arrested, you could have gotten executed for sodomy back then.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So he got close. I mean, he was able.

[Giannis Papas]

I mean, I got sodomized by my gastroenterologist. Sweet. But I only got two polyps in there. Small, because.

[Chris Distefano]

Welcome to the crew of the polyps crew.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, we're a couple of kids with polyps. Your name is Giannis Polyps?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I've had six. What are you now? Three.

[Giannis Papas]

I got. No, but since the time I'm 34, I think I'm up to six. Two, because. Are you up to six? Yeah, I gotta just be careful. But Dr. Nick, if you're listening right now, they were small. They were under 4 millimeters. So we think we're okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, we did.

[Giannis Papas]

But I did get clipped. And I urge everyone to go get a colonoscopy. It's brutal. The night before, you are basically, you know, piss. You're putting water out of your butt. Like your butt's like a water car.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

But then when you get them clipped out, first of all, the propofol, is it called. Oh, yeah, it is what killed Michael Jackson. But the kid took too much. But you feel great. I mean, literally, I woke up in the middle of the colonoscopy. I woke up and they had the tube still in my butt. And they were like, are you okay? And I was just like, yeah. And then they.

[Chris Distefano]

You probably work up on purpose because something went into your ass.

[Giannis Papas]

I know.

[Chris Distefano]

And you wanted to be contrary.

[Giannis Papas]

I woke up and I went Mateo.

[Chris Distefano]

And.

[Giannis Papas]

And so. And so I.

[Chris Distefano]

They're like, wait, because. Do I really have to be under for this? Because I'd like to be awake. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

I said. I looked down, I said, I'm rock hard. And so. And so they. So, So I. The anesthesiologist hit a button with her thumb right there and I was out again. And then I woke up in the recovery room and they were like, hey, you had a couple of polyps. We took care of them. We'll call you this week if there's any issues. But they're very small. We should see you again in five years. And honestly, cuz, it's a little nerve wracking to know you got polyps in there, but it's really refreshing to know they clipped them out. And if you just go every five years, you should be good. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You've been like, I see. I can sense that you're unsettled by it, but there's nothing to be unsettled by. Because you got them removed, right? You got them removed.

[Giannis Papas]

But why do they keep growing back?

[Chris Distefano]

It's just because it's hard. It's hard to build a wall against polyps, you understand? It's a constant process. You just, you're, you and your gastroenterologist, you guys are the Department of Homeland Security against the foreign invasions. Those illegal polyps.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

When you take six out, six are going to climb over the wall or under the wall to get back in. And you just constantly got to go and you got to keep reelected what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

I said, instead of clipping them, can you just throw a bunch of American flags up there? The little ones that you get at barbecue? Just put those in the polyps.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, but once they're out, you're good.

[Giannis Papas]

We're good. All right, good. You're clean, you're good, hun. You know, running a small business like we're doing here, you know what it requires? We gotta wear a lot of hats. Yes, we gotta wear a lot of hats and we got good hair.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

So we gotta wear a lot of hats. And what happens is your personal phone becomes your business phone. And then before you know it, you're juggling customer calls day and night. I just can't get off the phone, babe.

[Chris Distefano]

Tell me about it.

[Giannis Papas]

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[Chris Distefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

You got to be rock hard.

[Chris Distefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

Da Vinci.

[Chris Distefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

Just look at my pants.

[Chris Distefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

That's what it is. Cuz they're just sending you free woodies.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you don't want to put a spaghetti noodle in there. You want to put a nice dried noodle like the one you dropped in a cadaver.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is. Cuz I want it to be rock hard.

[Chris Distefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, which is good for me because you know me, I don't swallow pills. I'm a spitter.

[Chris Distefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is, cuz. Rocco, you're getting boners for freedom.

[Chris Distefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

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[Chris Distefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

You don't gotta do it. You just. It's. It's beautiful.

[Chris Distefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So you can plan ahead. That chick's coming over in an hour. Chew a Bluetooth.

[Giannis Papas]

Chew a Blue Chew.

[Chris Distefano]

Chew a Bluetooth.

[Giannis Papas]

It's Yanni. Sundance. Yanni.

[Chris Distefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

Yanni. He's got a lot of linzitants in his mouth. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Right now I had eight lids of tariff.

[Giannis Papas]

You're acting like a freaking linzitar.

[Chris Distefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

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[Chris Distefano]

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[Giannis Papas]

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[Chris Distefano]

They're giving it away.

[Giannis Papas]

Five dollar bonus. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

When you visit bluech, that's bluechew.com to receive your first month free. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring history Hyenas. All right, so there's no doubt that Leonardo da Vinci was a gay guy.

[Giannis Papas]

No and no. And probably had polyps.

[Chris Distefano]

He probably had polyps too. No, no. He was never with a woman. He. There was no women around him. He lived with a guy for 30 years, his best friend. So he was definitely.

[Giannis Papas]

He was def. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

And I don't know if we're gonna have to put that in the Patreon, but. But. Well, wait. Shia 14.

[Chris Distefano]

Just.

[Giannis Papas]

Just C. Yeah. And by the way, whoever I know Giannis already saw it, but just know an honorary PPW is. And you may not win because we've already seen it, but somebody wrote their name as Uncle Russell's pussy And that's a 10 because it's a double entendre of cats. And it's.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay, that's a 10. So that person's going to win.

[Giannis Papas]

But they should. Well, but we saw. So they're going. They are the honorary winner. If we get to your name, just know Uncle Russell's [e-mail] Istrahinis but we just. Just. But there's other Uncle Russell ones, so they're coming. Okay, so. But, but the kid. I forgot his actual name. See, here's the thing with our podcast is you're going to get the basic info, but if you really want to dive deep, you're going to have to Google it or listen to somebody else's podcast.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you're going to have to hear for that. No, we're. We're the opposite of Dan Carlin's hardcore history. He gives it to you. He gives it to you straight. We give it to you gay.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

That's how. And that's the way the cookie crumbles. But let me just say the. I'll tell you.

[Chris Distefano]

The kids tell me. Are you talking about the kid he lived with?

[Giannis Papas]

Salai is what his nickname was. Which meant Little devil.

[Chris Distefano]

It meant little devil because fucking you're just. Because, you know, Leonardo is like you're robbing for me. You're stealing from me. But fucking you. I fucking love you. You're my little devil.

[Giannis Papas]

Little devil. But here's the thing. Was on the line. We're gonna call. It was on the line. Leonardo DiCaprio was on the ice with this one. He's skating around. Only because the apprentice. He was the sly. Whatever his real name was, was the son of an apprentice. And he had him work with. He had. Leonardo DiCaprio had done work for this guy. And allegedly Leonardo DiCaprio.

[Chris Distefano]

I know you call him DiCaprio.

[Giannis Papas]

I meant to say Leonard da Vinci.

[Chris Distefano]

It's tough. It's in my head too. Yeah. I. I have to remind myself to say da Vinci.

[Giannis Papas]

Right. So Leonardo da Vinci. Yeah. Da Vinci.

[Chris Distefano]

But if Caprio said again we're referring.

[Giannis Papas]

To da Vinci, just know that's what we are. Just like when there was a time when I was talking about Plato and I was calling him Pluto and it's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

But also remember that John D. Rockefeller was a Catholic kid who had three heart surgeries.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Which none of that is true.

[Chris Distefano]

None of that happened.

[Giannis Papas]

So. But Salai. So he was the son of this apprentice. And he was only 10 years old when he went to go live with da Vinci in Florence. And supposedly. And he became what was very likely da Vinci's lover later on in life and did stay with da Vinci to the end of his life. But the problem is, is you don't know when the first kind of tap. You don't know the first kind of time Da Vinci may have touched the kid Salai. We don't know what the rules were back then. But make no mistake, he was called Salai Little devil. Because he was like a 10 year old little mischievous kid that was stealing money, robbing paintings, doing all that. And people had said in the town at that time, one of the shop owners that da Vinci went into the shop with Salai. They said he was unbearable, this kid Salai. Like he was a tough, tough kid. But now that I'm thinking about it, that's why he made kid may have been a little confused. So that's the thing is because he may have Just been fucking stroking DaVinci's paintbrush.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. If you know what we mean. And his name. His name was Gian Giacomo Capratti.

[Giannis Papas]

Capra.

[Chris Distefano]

That was his real name.

[Giannis Papas]

That was.

[Chris Distefano]

Huh?

[Giannis Papas]

Giacomo.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, Giacomo. Oh. So Gian Giacomo Capratti, who was Salad. Yeah. Who was definitely getting. He was getting. Da Vinci was. Was definitely dipping his biscotti in the coffee.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is. But again, back then. Don't get mad at him back then. That's just the way things go. Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And he did live with him the whole way. And they say he was an inspiration for a lot. Lot of Leonardo da Vinci's portraits, including maybe even the Mona Lisa, who was based on a real person. But they say also it might have had a little bit of salai in there.

[Giannis Papas]

Do you know what's fascinating about the Mona Lisa is, number one, it's one of those paintings, because what. What da Vinci was, what was ahead of his time is the perspectives. Right. And Jesse, back me up on this. Right? It was. He was painting in more 3D, where nobody was doing that back then. Like when he painted painting of the. His version of the ascent of the Annunciation, which everyone was doing back then. He painted mountains and buildings in the background, which nobody did that. And with the Mona Lisa, when you look at it from those different angles, it looks as if her eyes are moving with you. And they believe that he knew. He did he. That was all on purpose. Because the thing is, is it's very easy to kind of look back and say, oh, this meaning of his painting in the Last Supper has a V for virgin. And they think it's John the Baptist, but he really put Mary, the mother of God in there. And there's all this debate and this and that, and it's like, you could be like, listen, dude, I could paint anything. And then 100 years later, I could say this was this meaning that meaning. But the thing with da Vinci was the kid never did anything that wasn't intentional.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

So the thing, if you're finding out about it all these years later, it's probably because he wanted you to find out about it. Which makes me think, is the kid a fucking alien?

[Chris Distefano]

It could be.

[Giannis Papas]

Or he had a bigger brain. I mean, they said his IQ right now, based off his drawings and his paint and his knowledge, they would roughly estimate it at like 180, 190. Which would be smarter than Elon.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Because here's the thing. Most people don't know. They just know him from the Mona Lisa. But Leonardo da Vinci was primarily a scientist. Botanist, anatomist. Anatomist, Architect, Yes. Engineer, yes. He came up with the helicopter. Before the helicopter, he was coming up with all types of way to use water.

[Giannis Papas]

A tank.

[Chris Distefano]

He made a.

[Giannis Papas]

Made a tank.

[Chris Distefano]

He made a turtle tank.

[Giannis Papas]

And you know what the kid would do is he would draw it out and then he would leave out two or three pieces of it. And people would at the time be like, oh, he's not that good. But now people think he left that out because the kid did not like war. So he would draw something for you and let you see it, but those missing pieces, which you were not smart enough to get, he would say, now you can't build this machine because he doesn't want to be responsible for war.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Here's another thing. He was a vegetarian, which lets you know he was definitely gay. And yes, it didn't help him. The kid died at 67.

[Giannis Papas]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

So eat meat or don't eat meat, it don't matter. It's all genetic.

[Giannis Papas]

It's all genetic. And that's the thing is, by the way, people think, oh, that was old for that time. It wasn't. It wasn't. People were kind of regularly living to the 90s and 1000s. The reason why you look at the. They say, oh, men would die at 40. Back then, it was just because the infant mortality rate, there was a lot more children dying, so it brought those numbers way down. But if you passed infant, if you got out of childhood, you had a good chance of living the 70s and 80s, because if you look at their diet, I googled Leonard da Vinci's diet and what they would mostly eat is beans, a lot of green leaves and salads. And then for dessert, they would have almond pudding and they would put peas and milk, and they would eat peas and milk, almond pudding. And then whatever game they would have, if the kid didn't eat meat, then he would just eat more beans. But if they had, they would wild game that they would eat. So no antibiotics, no high sodium in the food, and the kids just ate and had a good time and they drank wine.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I mean, when you look at the average age of when people lived, you got to. To consider that that average is always brought down.

[Giannis Papas]

Way.

[Chris Distefano]

Some cheering.

[Giannis Papas]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you're gonna have to cackle that one. Yeah. It was just a joke that needed to go in. Yeah, yeah. What it is for the Patreon.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is. I'm just kidding.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm just joking. Around. It was a character piece. It's something that we joke around about in the firehouse.

[Giannis Papas]

And by the way, we got jokes like that, but then also we got other jokes that are more in favor. Like, for example, Giannis was saying when I called him last week, he was playing with his daughter. And I said, what are you doing? He goes, I'm playing snowstorm with my daughter. He go the covers, and they just make believe there's a snowstorm. I said, snowstorm is what black people call gentrification.

[Chris Distefano]

And I love the joke.

[Giannis Papas]

There's just a bunch of whites coming into my neighborhood and it's a fucking blizzard. Yeah. The black people are looking out there saying that we got some flurries coming.

[Chris Distefano]

In, we got some flurries coming in.

[Giannis Papas]

And then they gotta go.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I mean, the kid hated to paint. He frustrated his contemporaries. His contemporaries. Like, this guy is so talented. Why doesn't he. He only completed less than 10 paintings, and overall he did under 20 paintings.

[Giannis Papas]

But some of. Bang.

[Chris Distefano]

The Mona Lisa he worked on for like five years or something.

[Giannis Papas]

Is the Mona Lisa 13 years.

[Chris Distefano]

Jesse's a. We got our official finger painter in the house.

[Giannis Papas]

Finger pair. Our slow finger painter. He's got slow fingers. Nft. Slow finger painter. Slow fingers painter.

[Chris Distefano]

He went to finger painting school.

[Giannis Papas]

Now, Jesse, tell me, is the Mona Lisa. Do you have a mic or no. Yeah, yeah. Is the Mona Lisa the most expensive painting in the world right now? If you were going to sell paint, if we had to sell paintings to the aliens or the Chinese, whoever wanted to take over, maybe they. The. What is the number one most expensive painting that's priceless?

[C]

The Mona Lisa is priceless. In fact, there was a painting that came up that they said was from Leonardo a couple years ago, and that went for $400 million to the Saudis, but it's not really a Leonardo. They're saying it's a fake.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, wow.

[C]

And they paid $400 million for that.

[Chris Distefano]

Now, let me ask you this, because you are very versed in this, skills wise. Is he like his skills. When you look at his technical skills, his painter, the anatomy, the everything is. Is he. Does he live up to the hype?

[C]

Yes. For his time. You have to put everything into context for the time.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Painting. So a painting like that right now, people are past that now.

[C]

Yeah, there's tons of people who can paint like that now. But for the time, I mean, it was remarkable because he painted in that technique called sfumato, which was like hundreds of layers of. Of oil paint paint that Added that translucency and that softness and that smoothness.

[Chris Distefano]

Is that what made, like Mona Lisa come alive?

[C]

Yes. Yes. I mean, there's just hundreds of layers of paint and each layer of paint has a little bit of pigment and it just softened and smooth everything.

[Chris Distefano]

Are you attracted to Mona Lisa? Because I find her attractive.

[C]

You do?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, she's mysterious.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, she is.

[C]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Because you don't know if she's a guy or a girl.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. You don't know if she's a guy or a girl. And she's also looking at you like, I know something you don't know.

[Giannis Papas]

So the security out you like one of these protesters would never be able to throw paint on the Mona Lisa.

[C]

It's behind really thick glass and you can't even get close to it.

[Giannis Papas]

And it's guarded 24 7.

[Chris Distefano]

Now, here's the deal. A lot of people don't know somebody stole it. Yes.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

What happened was Leonardo da Vinci. Right. From heaven. Okay? This is when time travel happens and a lot of people don't notice in history.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay, so this is what we call a little history lesson with Sean Terry.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

This is the part they don't tell you about in the books. Yeah. Kids, sit down.

[Giannis Papas]

Uncle Sean Terry's about to give you a history.

[Chris Distefano]

Sit down. I'm tell you. Yeah. So what happened was post hominously or posthumously, I don't know how they say it, but after his death, right, the kid went to heaven. Right. But he went to the gay section with Chris Pappas.

[Giannis Papas]

Sure.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

And you and my dog Larry.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, your dog Larry.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

He went to the gay section. You know, over there. The kid from Queens there. Michael Jackson's there. It's a gay section. Having to have their own parties. That's what it is. So they're over there and he says, listen, fucking, I still am competing with Michelangelo. And everyone's talking about the piata. Is that what it's called, the piata? Everyone's talking about the fucking piata. Everyone's talking about the Sistine Chapel. I'm not going down like that. I still got a fucking competition with this batch.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So I got a win over fucking Michelangelo. So I needed good marketing strategy, right? So what he did was he went into the future because you can do that from heaven. And he called and he said, we need a good marketing strategy.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

To fucking get my Mona Lisa, which is one of my few paintings. It's mysterious.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

It's underappreciated. We need somebody we Need a marketing plan.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Like, yo, what's up, man? He said, y. You feel me? He said, yo, you hurt? He said, what we going to do? You know what I mean is we going. We. I'm going have one of my peoples rob it, and then it's going to go nationwide, all the papers going to pick it up around the world. So everybody.

[Giannis Papas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

And so he go, yeah, man, it. We gonna. We're gonna steal it. And then it's gonna go around. It's gonna be the theft her around the world. Yeah. So everyone gonna learn about the Mona Lisa, but we just. It's just gonna be some Italian kid who's gonna be like, yo, we just taking it for Italy. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

I mean, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So we could. We. We got patriotism, right? It's hanging in France. We can't have the French hanging that.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And then boom, he's gonna return it. And then next thing you know, it's gonna become the most famous. The famous. Most famous paint in the world, son. Yeah. And then that's how it happened. That makes sense. I'm sitting here talking to Patrick Moyudi. It's all a character.

[Giannis Papas]

That's. Yeah, that's what it is. Character.

[Chris Distefano]

And that's how it happened. It became famous because the kids stole it.

[Giannis Papas]

And you see, kids, you see if you listen to Uncle Sean over here, see how you can listen to stories and. And feel and re. And. And get real nice stories spoken to you at lunchtime in the library from somebody. From a guy not wearing a dress.

[Chris Distefano]

It's possible.

[Giannis Papas]

It's possible. Not every guy's got to wear a dress to read your stories.

[Chris Distefano]

Now that was just a little segment. We like history with Ladder 14.

[Giannis Papas]

That's all it was.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just stories we tell at the firehouse.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, that's all it. That's all it is.

[Chris Distefano]

A lot of downtime.

[Giannis Papas]

Got a lot of downtown.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

So, okay, so the. The Mona Lisa, right. Then, cuz here's the thing. He painted the Mona Lisa. A lot of this shit that he did. He didn't know that the Mona Lisa was this priceless artifact. He painted and held it with him. He went from Florence to Rome to Milan, back to Florence to France, holding the Mona Lisa the whole time. It's not like he was working on it. He was working on little bits of it, but he was just like, oh, this is another painting. It wasn't until in France. That's why it's in the Louvre, because in France, where he eventually died in France. That Family wanted to buy his paintings. The king of France loved da Vinci and they gave da Vinci. At the end of his life, they said to him, we want to pay you. Just paint, be free, be who you are. If you do the work, great. If you don't do the work, great. We're just obsessed with Leonardo da Vinci. And then they found the Mona Lisa and they bought it because. But him, to him, he was like, oh, this is just another piece of shit. Like everything that he did, he was like, this sucks. I don't know why you guys want that. It was the Mona Lisa.

[Chris Distefano]

It was the Mona Lisa.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, he's on record saying, like, he hated painting. Like, he just was like he was, you know, and people just kept commissioning. He could have continued to just get commissions. All the rich people wanted to commission and he just wasn't interested. He got hired once as an architect. And what city was that? Do you remember?

[Giannis Papas]

Probably Milan, maybe Milan.

[Chris Distefano]

He was in Milan.

[Giannis Papas]

Florence was the big years of his life, I think. Right. Florence was like his life.

[Chris Distefano]

That was peak.

[Giannis Papas]

That's where you could go. See where? If you go to Florence, I think you could see Michelangelo and da Vinci lived like apartment buildings next to each other.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And they fucking hated each other.

[Giannis Papas]

Did you ever go to Florence?

[Chris Distefano]

I've been to Florence.

[Giannis Papas]

What do you think?

[Chris Distefano]

It's fascinating.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Unbelievable. The Duomo is unbelievable.

[Giannis Papas]

Should I go?

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. Florence is something you have to see because the Duomo.

[Giannis Papas]

And then I would go there and paint a picture and say in front of the Duomo and then cross out that D and put an H. Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Homo.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So he was in Milan, Rome at the end of his life. He died in Rome, right? Oh, he died in France. But he spent a little time in Rome. Yes.

[Giannis Papas]

Very quickly. He didn't love Rome.

[Chris Distefano]

He didn't love it.

[Giannis Papas]

Florence and Milan. Because at the time, Milan, even though people say, oh, Milan is, you know, like a very new school Italian city, a lot of people say to skip it. Back then it was an ancient city, walled off city. Everyone wanted to be in Milan. Milan.

[Chris Distefano]

Now he. To give you context about da Vinci, so many things had to go a certain way for da Vinci to become da Vinci. He was. He was born, like you said, out of wedlock.

[Giannis Papas]

Out of wedlock.

[Chris Distefano]

His dad was. What was his dad? A bookkeeper or something such that. And then his mom was some peasant girl. And so he didn't become an apprentice because that's what the Italian tradition was. Because he didn't carry that guy's name. His name ended up just becoming a bastard name, like you said, like Don Corleone, his name was of Da Vinci, which is a place.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Then he was born into a time with the Medici family. And also the guy that he apprenticed to, what was that guy's name?

[C]

Oh, I forgot.

[Chris Distefano]

Some Italian name who he was obsessed with. So he went and apprenticed with that guy. He didn't have to go to school to do that other thing for his dad. He went. His dad saw that, everyone saw he had a talent because he paid, said, go learn from this guy. So then he mentored under that guy, and that's where he really blossomed. But also, it's the context and the setting of the Renaissance, which really was due to the Medici family's patronage. Right there they were just. The Medici family was all about the arts, was all about culture. And so they were just handing out money to talented people and supporting them. They paid for the Sistine Chapel. They paid da Vinci. They commissioned all these guys.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And they were all about just, like, high knowledge and philosophy. And so they were like the Obamas. They were like the Obamas. Yeah, they were like the Obamas of the time.

[Giannis Papas]

That's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

And so everyone was enlightened. It was really an enlightened time.

[Giannis Papas]

That was a time the Renaissance. It's interesting because at that time, this is why all these great artists happened. Like, people don't know what came first, chicken or the egg, because they don't know if, like, was it the time period that blossomed these artists, or was it coincidentally that these artists were just born with these types of brains at that time? Because at that time was one of the rare times where the regime in charge of the church at that time wasn't going to kill you. If you wanted to be a little bit. Bit. Say what you want. If you wanted to paint a little outside the box, not make Jesus look like a superstar. Back before then and after then, you had to. You couldn't really be creative because they would kill you if you didn't do what they wanted. But back then, they would allow. You know, they let. Many, many times they let Da Vinci. They say, here's the deadline and he's two years passed, and they're not killing him, they're just taking it away from him. Back then, it would cut his head off.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

Also at that time, for whatever reason, when you wanted to express yourself, years before, you would do, like, some type of song, some type of poetry, you would go become a warrior. Back then, that was Back then, during this time, they all got it out through painting. They told stories and wrote books what they felt was through their painting. So the Renaissance period was just this random.

[Chris Distefano]

The history hyenas is brought to you by acorns today. Now, acorns is something that I use. I use acorns. It's great. It makes it easy for everyone to start saving and investing. In fact, you get started, started with your spare change. Plus you earn bonus investments just by buying what you need from brands you love. Small steps today can make a huge impact on your future. From acorns. Mighty oaks do grow. Grow your oak. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

You're a grower.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm a grower now. It's really cool. It's very easy. What they do is like, so you buy something or whatever and then they just round up the number and like if you pay like 5.93, then they put like they take the 7 cents or the 25 cents or the 37 cents and they invested for you in the market.

[Giannis Papas]

In the market. And that's what we call compound interest. That's very important.

[Chris Distefano]

It's very important and it's very easy. And they do it all for you. Pretty much sells itself. It's very easy. I think this is. Ashton Kutcher is behind this, right?

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Make sure that. Yeah, yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Well, whatever. If he say he is, he is.

[Chris Distefano]

I think he's in there. I think he really is. You don't need to be an export. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you. They do it all for you. And it's very simple. It's just your spare change and invest it. Instead of, you know, you just go, oh, you know, I don't need that. 37 cents. I wasn't going to carry it in my pocket.

[Giannis Papas]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

You know, you just put it in. It's very nice.

[Giannis Papas]

You invest it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, they round it up and they take it and they invest it for you.

[Giannis Papas]

That's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

So you don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now. That could be a five dollar day for you. Even just your spare change. That's right. Acorns can round every purchase you make up to the dollar and automatically invest your spare change for you. So that coffee you grab on the way to the mall, that's investing.

[Giannis Papas]

That's it.

[Chris Distefano]

It is very simple.

[Giannis Papas]

It's like, it's like, it's like a truffle pig.

[Chris Distefano]

It's like a truffle pig. It's like cash back but the bonus investments have a chance to grow. That's what it is. So that's what it is. So head to acorns.com hyenas or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing your in your future Today paid client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns Investing involves risk Musk Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC Regulated Investment Advisor view important [e-mail] Hyenas Dumb Hundred Year.

[Giannis Papas]

Period of time where they were just like, this is how we're going to do it. And then of course, like anything else, the Catholic church just forgot and then they went back to the medieval ways.

[Chris Distefano]

I will say this, a lot of people say Prince or Michael Jackson. I go, Prince. I think he was more talented. You gotta go Michelangelo, da Vinci. I think it's a little more complicated because they were rivals just like Prince and Michael.

[Giannis Papas]

And Michelangelo was just a sculptor. He was.

[Chris Distefano]

That's the thing. So no, he was a painter too. He did the Sistine Chapel.

[Giannis Papas]

Oh, painter, painter. I meant to say he was just an artist is what I meant to say. He wasn't doing the science that da Vinci was doing.

[Chris Distefano]

Not even close. I mean the only person you could really compare da Vinci to, and this is what people should get from this episode and from watching whatever documentary Elon Musk is the kid was. Yeah, he was even more than that. The only person you could really compare him to is Eric Aristotle. Just the diversity of fields that he interrogated and, and the inventions he was coming up with even more than Aristotle. I think he's unprecedented and unparalleled. I think Leonardo da Vinci is mostly known for the Mona Lisa, but he was, he was an inventor and he was a scientist most of all in so many different fields. And he was self taught. He would just go into that field, learn everything about it and then the next thing you know he'd be just like. Because he had adhd, he would get obsessed with like birds and then he would study bird's flight. He would study. Then he'd get obsessed with anatomy, he'd study that. He'd dissect cadavers. He'd get obsessed with engineering and water, power and flight. And he just went from one thing to the next because the kid was just a born genius. And you can only really compare him to Aristotle.

[Giannis Papas]

I mean Renaissance man comes from him. That's what the term is.

[Chris Distefano]

He's the ultimate Renaissance man.

[Giannis Papas]

So. But do you think I like Ben.

[Chris Distefano]

Franklin would be someone in America who you could compare him just a Renaissance.

[Giannis Papas]

Man, but also Kai's. Here's the thing, if you want to be a Renaissance man, the problem for us is we love our kids. And either you can't have kids or you can't love your kids. Because make no mistake, Ben Franklin just didn't give a fuck about his kids.

[Chris Distefano]

He did it.

[Giannis Papas]

He just went for years and years and years to Paris and just forgot that he had a wife and kids. But he became, he became. And Da Vinci was just a gay kid. So God kind of said, you can't have kids because I need you to paint.

[Chris Distefano]

I need you to paint.

[Giannis Papas]

But you and I have children and we love our children. So unfortunately, if we don't wind up being the Da Vinci's a comedy, it's not because us, it's because of our kids.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I said there's one thing you're leaving out of that equation of why we can't be become Da Vinci. Why we're fucking stupid.

[Giannis Papas]

We're franks and beats.

[Chris Distefano]

We're fucking two franks and beats kids. Cuz. Yeah, we're just not that smart. We're not that smart at all.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

Cuz we're just not.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, I think if we were, if we were Da Vinci's apprentices, I mean, I think he would have just hired the Medicis to hit us over the head with a shovel and throw our bodies into the river.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Cuz you could give me every book, every book about anatomy, I'd read every book. I would end as stupid as I began.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I just wouldn't be able to pay attention. Grok or fathom, whatever the fuck's being said in that book, I can't do it. Thing I could do is play with my friends. That's it.

[Giannis Papas]

That's it.

[Chris Distefano]

That's it.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

That's the only thing I could do.

[Giannis Papas]

I'm not good at anything. Because if we were living, if we were living back then, because what Medici, what Da Vinci would do is he was also the first guy they think in history to ever paint the landscape. He went up on a hill and painted a landscape. It was like it was a valley in Florence. This was in like the 1490s. He was the first one to ever sketch that. And he just sketched what he saw. So he saw the trees, he saw some animals. And if we were, he would just have had to sketch. Just two guys holding hands, skipping, just skipping through the field because that's what we'd be doing. And make no mistake, we'd be happy. Just like Warren from Something About Mary was happy just saying franks and beans with headphones on. That's when, when, when da Vinci would look at two kids like us. That's how he would see us. Same thing with Ken Burns. If we had Ken Burns on this podcast, he would be looking at us like Warren from something about there.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, he would. He would go, Frank St.

[Giannis Papas]

Beans. Yeah. He'd say, I like these guys, but, you know, I don't know what they're talking about. None of their facts are correct.

[Chris Distefano]

No, nothing is. Nothing they said. Did they even watch the documentary?

[Giannis Papas]

But tell us at home, are you not having fun? You're having a good time, but go listen the real truth from Ken Burns. Let us tell you our perceived truth.

[Chris Distefano]

Because we're speaking to retards like us.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

What it is. Cuz.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

If anyone is not retarded, they're listening to Dan Carlin. And we're just. We're the Dan Carlin for kids who just couldn't make it into the first track of Public School.

[Giannis Papas]

That's what it is. Because we.

[Chris Distefano]

There's nobody in the Rainbow Program listening to this fucking thing.

[Giannis Papas]

No, we tell you stories and they sound true enough. Yes, that's what it is, is. It's true enough. Like that whole story I told you about. The facts of that story is Machiavelli. It is recorded in history that Machiavelli, da Vinci and Michelangelo all did meet and hang out together in the piazza a lot. And da Vinci and Michelangelo did not like each other. And all those. And those are all true. But the little seeds of truth. I mean, it sounds like a good story. If this moment in history is what made da Vinci paint the Mona Lisa. Now is it true? True? I don't know. Is it not true? I don't know.

[Chris Distefano]

But the most important thing is you as the listener now know a little bit more true or false about Leonardo da Vinci, because there's nobody listening to this who knew. I know our fans.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And they only knew the Mona Lisi, kind of. They probably a lot of them were going, like, Michelangelo did that, right?

[Giannis Papas]

Oh, no. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

They would go, wait, was that Van Gogh? Yeah, they don't know. But now they know for sure it was Leonardo DiCaprio.

[Giannis Papas]

So they. So here's what know, here's what you know. You know that Leonardo DiCaprio did the last Supper, which we didn't really speak about, but we can speak about it, did the Last Supper and he did the Mona Lisa and science experiments. And then Michelangelo did the Sistine Chapel. Not the Sistine Chapel. The Sistine Chapel and the sculpture of David. Those are his two big works.

[Chris Distefano]

And you got one more, the piata.

[Giannis Papas]

And the piata. But that's not. But the. But, but the piata's big. Is it big?

[Chris Distefano]

It's big. Big. It's like if it was the, if it was the 96 bulls, it would be Rodman Pieta.

[Giannis Papas]

Yes. See but that's the thing. But it's not that I feel like the Last Supper painting, the statue of David, the Sistine Chapel and Mona Lisa are the famous, famous.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, let's rank them. In my opinion, Jesse, he knows this. So Mona Lisa 1, David 2, Sistine Chapel 3. You're right. And so it would be more like.

[Giannis Papas]

Ron Harper and the Last Supper.

[Chris Distefano]

For Last Supper it'll be like Ron Harper.

[Giannis Papas]

Am I right about that?

[Chris Distefano]

Maybe John Paxton. You're right.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. And then Banksy, Whatever Banksy's painting.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, whatever Banksy's doing.

[Giannis Papas]

So just Banksy, the Michelangelo, is he the da Vinci of our time?

[C]

Banksy, he's probably the most well known artist. Like can you name another living artist?

[Chris Distefano]

Jesse Scutturo.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, Jesse. Yeah, I can name Banksy. Jesse Couturo.

[Chris Distefano]

By the way, are baby Socrates still for sale?

[C]

They could be.

[Chris Distefano]

They could be.

[Giannis Papas]

Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, he sold one to a Greek kid. For how much? Couple hundred hours. A couple thousand.

[Giannis Papas]

And by the way, we are.

[C]

Have gone up.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

We are still considering. If you go to patreon.com history hyenas, I want to post a picture of you. If you feel like you're fat enough, Jesse will sculpt you and we will sculpt you.

[Chris Distefano]

Will sell it.

[Giannis Papas]

We will sell that. So. So if you feel like you got the goods to be fat enough, Jesse will sculpt you. And if you don't send someone in soon, then we're just going to sculpt St. Ros. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Cuz one thing too I wanted to add about, about Leonardo da Vinci is da Vinci. There's also his famous painting of the Annunciation. Do you know what the Annunciation was?

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Giannis Papas]

So it's when the angel Gabriel came down and put the baby in Mary's womb.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Because they say, right, it was the Immaculate Conception.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Giannis Papas]

So they.

[Chris Distefano]

But you know, I'm sorry, Lynn, Mary.

[Giannis Papas]

She got banged out, Banged out. There's just no way it could happen.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, Joe just banged her out.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is. And I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry.

[Chris Distefano]

It just doesn't happen that way.

[Giannis Papas]

It doesn't that way. And I know she got. It's what it is. And I. And I know that I told you and you've believed me multiple times because Jazz and I aren't married. I said, but my Jazz is Mary. And the baby just got put in her cuz that's the daughter of Christ. And mom believes it. But I did bang her out. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. So there's a good chance Mary got banged out.

[Giannis Papas]

Ma, if you listen. And we. We made you some Lindsay Todd cookies. Okay? But I gotta be honest with you. They weren't made by a German. They were made by Greek, but they all Lindsay's. And mom, if you listen to this episode and you're upset that you just found out that my kids weren't de Nunciate. Weren't enunciated like Mary, just know that we got Lynsitauts, we got Lindsey's.

[Chris Distefano]

But hey, look, I wasn't there. Maybe it did happen that way. It's possible.

[Giannis Papas]

By the way, there's a really good movie right now on Netflix called Mary. It's a fascinating movie. But anyway, the one thing about that painting, the Ascension, is it the Ascension of the Annunciation? The Annunciation, right. Or is it called the Ascension?

[Chris Distefano]

I don't know.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, yeah, so. But whatever. With the history, I knew. So that's what, you know, whatever. And my curl is coming out.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I want to hang an ornament off it.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay. Yeah. So. So what happened was, is he painted that and he painted the angel. You know, a lot of people had done that, but he painted this angel of Gabriel pointing at the. At the stomach of the womb of Mary and all that. And if you look what he would commonly do, see a lot of paintings, what would happen is if you X ray them today. And Jesse, you know this as an artist, what the painters at the time would do is they would sketch it out first and then they would just paint their sketch. But Da Vinci wouldn't do that. He never really sketched like that. He would just paint it like as is and just go. And then if he messed up, he would include it on whatever. But if you X ray this painting, the essential, if you put it under modern 3D x ray image, you can see in between Angel Gabriel going like that and Mary in the mother of God grabbing her womb, you can see he drew a face of Satan.

[Chris Distefano]

Whoa.

[Giannis Papas]

He drew Satan's face in the middle of it. And it's Only recognizable with X ray technology because at that time he used the modern equivalent of invisible paint. He was able. He's another thing he did. He made invisible writing in the 1500s and he did mirror writing. You know about his mirror writing? Yeah, we would write right to left.

[Chris Distefano]

They said he was a left kid and he didn't want to smudge. But you think it was a little more mysterious.

[Giannis Papas]

I think it was more mysterious because I think he didn't want anyone stealing his work. And he was able to do this so freely. But he also created invisible ink. And there is a picture as clear as day of the face of Satan, which he had drawn a couple times in his notebook. So it was no doubt about it, him in between, because he wasn't that religious of a kid. So what he would do is a lot of hidden meanings in his paintings. Like, for example, he would always throw in how like Alfred Hitchcock always puts himself in his movies. Da Vinci would paint self portraits of himself at different points in his paintings. And almost every painting Da Vinci ever painted that was religious because that's where all the money was back then. Da Vinci would paint a self portrait of himself looking away from Christ always. Even in the Last Supper painting, there's one character that's looking away and people say that's Da Vinci's self portrait, but always look away from Christ.

[Chris Distefano]

Whoa. That was Judas in the Last Supper.

[Giannis Papas]

Judas is looking towards Christ and he's holding the bag of money. There's one guy looking away from him and he said. And also what he did is because he was very. He was very calculated. There's a picture next to the one, the one closest to Jesus, off Jesus's right hand, the one closest to him. Everyone thinks it's John the Baptist.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Now, John the Baptist was painted many times to be feminine looking. So Da Vinci, people just say that's John the Baptist. But what a lot of people think because of the angle that he did is Da Vinci painted that person as Mary, the Mary Magdalene, who was Jesus's wife at the time. But those gospels were thrown out, but they believe he believed Jesus had a wife because he painted between them a perfect V. To say at that time was the symbol of the womb, that Jesus and Mary Magdalene have a child. And he was the only one in these paintings, in these Last Supper, they would always paint the Holy Grail, which was a cup of Jesus blood. Blood. They were on a mission to find the Holy Grail. And they said that one specifically, he did not paint the cup because he was saying the cup is Mary Magdalene. They have had a child together. Which was blasphemous to say back then, but da Vinci put it in as that. And, and that symbolism is what is why he did it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, right, True. Is this true stuff?

[C]

I mean, it's meaning that you make of it. Who knows, right?

[Giannis Papas]

Who knows?

[Chris Distefano]

But it was Satan in there.

[Giannis Papas]

Google it.

[C]

It's hard to see, right? Because like that was part of his thing. If you look at the rocks and all the, the things in the background, you can see all kinds of things. Faces.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, so you might be able to see Satan, but it's also.

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Giannis Papas]

Under X ray tech. Google. If you X ray. X ray or 3D image. The. Is it the Ascension or the enunciation?

[C]

Well, they're called. It's called the Virgin on the rocks. But it is the thing in Catholicism that you're mentioning. So whatever. It would be.

[Giannis Papas]

No, no, but I don't think. But I think the Virgin on the rocks is a separate. No, no, the Virgin on the rocks is its own painting. Hold on. Wow. Let me, Let me. Hold on. Da Vinci, while you look it up.

[Chris Distefano]

I'll say. Patreon.com history hyenas for our bonus episodes.

[Giannis Papas]

It's going to be wild. The bonus episode.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, we're going to go wild today.

[Giannis Papas]

We're going to get a little bit into da Vinci. We're also going to talk about Jeffrey Dahmer and Milwaukee. Yeah, yeah. And how Yanni almost got eaten.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, he almost got eaten up.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is. And then of course, you want to put in a funny name. The most fun part of the show from our point of view and from the fans point of view is when we read the Patreon names at the end of the show because we die laughing. You guys are hitting home run names. And the winner will get the ppw, the pseudo penis of the week. And your name will be up at History Hyenas is back dot com.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. And we appreciate the support and we appreciate your fandom as always.

[Giannis Papas]

As always. And then. And then also go. While I'm looking this up, go see the both of us on the road. Oh, yeah, Tell them where you're gonna be.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, tell us. Go see us on the road. I'm gonna be in Bridgeport, Connecticut this weekend.

[Giannis Papas]

Thief. Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And then Austin. I will be in Austin the week on the 21st. It will be a special taping. I don't know what the tickets are. It always sells out at that place anyway. But I'll be there from the 20th to the 22nd in Austin. Then in January I'm in Rochester. Then you can catch me in Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia, Cleveland, Tempe, Arizona. Just go to giannispappiscomedy.com and me and Chrissy soon will be doing Live History Hyenas in New York City. Yeah. And it's Big Apple where we don't ever want to leave.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is, cuz. And also make note, mistake. I might be down in Austin too, because me and Yanni got a big surprise.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, well, you told them we were doing it earlier.

[Giannis Papas]

Oh, yeah. So you know that we're doing Rogan.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

And then you could see me. You could see me this weekend in Phoenix, Arizona, stand up live, great club. And then for December 28th to 31st, Miami Improv. And then in February we got Cobbs Comedy club. And we're going to come out with a theater tour which we're announcing soon. So the painting is called the Annunciation. Jesse. So if you could just find Annunciation, Satan's face, you know, Annunciation, Satan's face, you know, 3D imaging, ancient aliens. I mean, it's a little conspiratorial.

[Chris Distefano]

I got it here.

[Giannis Papas]

So here we go.

[Chris Distefano]

The claim that Leonardo DiCaprio da Vinci's enunciation contains a hidden Satan face is one of several conspiracy theories or speculative interpretations that have been suggested about his works. Such theories often stem from Leonardo's reputation, from embedding. So you're right. Symbolism and complex details in his art. But there is no historical evidence that Leonardo intentionally included a Satanic figure in the Annunciation. But we believe he did.

[Giannis Papas]

We believe he did. And is there an image of it? Because, Jesse, if we could find an image of it, let's post it in the episode because it looks wild.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay, so they're saying in the painting, Leonardo depicts the archangel Gabriel announcing the Virgin Mary that she will conceive Jesus. The work is characterized by meticulous attention to detail, including the natural landscape, the angel's wings, and the interaction between the figures. Some theorists have suggested that certain shapes or shadows in the background, background, particularly in the foliage of clouds, could resemble a demonic face.

[Giannis Papas]

See, right what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

So I don't know if it has anything to do with X ray technology, but I like your version. Great. It's what it is. Yeah, I like your version because, I.

[Giannis Papas]

Mean, even there's one. There's one another painting that they talk about with da Vinci where like, what he would do is, like, there's one where he's he's painted the, the baby Jesus. He's got the baby Jesus, he's got Mary, he's got the baby Jesus and he's got St. John the Baptist. And they're all as baby babies. And what, what they said that St. John the Baptist, something historical significance back then would always be depicted as like the one who's going to have to like, not kill Jesus, but like take him to the gates of heaven or whatever. And there's a painting of Mary holding John the Baptist back, you know, like as if say like, you're not going to get my son. And then Jesus just pointing at John the Baptist saying, it's okay, you can come get me. And it's like so having this art come to life where like the mother is fully trying to protect her mortal son, knowing that the baby was put. Gabriel told her, your son's gonna die, but you're doing this for humanity. So da Vinci was able to make all this happen. But at that time, da Vinci couldn't come out and say, this is what my painting means, because he could have gotten killed for that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, he could.

[Giannis Papas]

He would just do this thing. The kid was right up to Da Vinci was the definition of his paintings. The kid was on the ice.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, he was on the ice.

[Giannis Papas]

He was skating right there. Cause at that time, that's a good interpretation. Make no mistake, if they ever discovered that this kid was putting Satan's face in there or make it do some blaspheme where you're not looking at Jesus, they would burn you at the stake easy and eat you like dear jerky.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's kind of like us when we do like an industry project, we can't say we really want to say. Yeah, the same way he was hired by the Medicis to. He couldn't say, hey, look, I'm a gay kid. I don't give a about this. I like my dick going in. I like playing with guys. And I know that Jesus doesn't like that. Yeah, he couldn't say that because that was the political correctness of the time.

[Giannis Papas]

That's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

You couldn't blaspheme the church, even though the kid blasphemed the church every day with his fucking little boy toy in his crib. In private.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I mean, they were sucking each other's lollipop. They were Lieutenant fucking Lollipop and Sergeant Snuggles every night cuddling up and fucking poking each other.

[Giannis Papas]

And make no mistake, we got a new member of the group. I'm Lieutenant Lollipops, your Sergeant Snuggles and Jesse's Captain Cute. And make no mistake, DaVinci. Cheat. Cuz make no mistake, because at the end of his life he had that big long beard. Make no mistake, there was a couple of pieces that be a little crusty from cum.

[Chris Distefano]

It was just some cum caught in there. And it's what it is, the way the cookie crumbled back then.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is. And make no mistake, if I had a long beer too, I would have also had some crust in there. Cuz I would have been jerking off and making the S crust.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And there's just no way to know what happened in history. I mean, you know, every time we talk about these genius people, there's always something we don't know about. They always got something else. There's accusations about all these R. Kelly's. R. Kelly, Jay Z. So listen, there's no way to say that Leonardo DiCaprio didn't hire guys to on his chest if you want great art.

[Giannis Papas]

Leonardo DiCaprio used to eat boys, Gandhi used to eat boys. And now they're saying Jay Z had a couple young ones too. It's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is.

[Giannis Papas]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Chris Distefano]

And if you want to know the name of the guy who, he was an apprentice too, which could have mean that Leonardo DiCaprio got banged out by him. We don't know. His name was Verocchio. He was the famous artist.

[Giannis Papas]

He was the most famous in Florence. And he was the one who was initially painting in 3D and then DA Vinci just made it better.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes, yes. So there's Leonardo da Vinci. He was a cute, cute kid. He was a handsome kid. He was a flamboyant kid. He was a social kid. Yeah, he was very well liked. He was in a competition with Michelangelo. Now in your opinion, in. In the final verdict, as an artist, who do you give the nod to in that rival re Michelangelo or Da Vinci?

[C]

Michelangelo.

[Chris Distefano]

Michelangelo. Wow.

[Giannis Papas]

You think Michelangelo was a better artist.

[C]

Just because he did more?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. All right.

[C]

You know, Leonardo just didn't want to do it. He's like, I'm done painting. That's boring.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, right. More scientist.

[C]

He was more a scientist.

[Chris Distefano]

So dare I say that Michelangelo is our PPW of the week? Wow, he wins.

[Giannis Papas]

He wins over da Vinci. Okay, so you're giving it to Big Mike.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm giving it, I'm giving it, I'm giving it to Big Mike because he was also a fucking trans Kid.

[Giannis Papas]

One thing about Michelangelo, too, is what they said is da Vinci was very well manicured, groomed, like, again, could easily have a conversation. Fun, flamboyant, as you said. They said Michelangelo scholars said he might have been actually the definition of somebody on the spectrum. He smelled. He never was groomed. He would throw his work into his paintings. Like when he was doing the Sistine Chapel. He didn't eat, they said for two days. Wouldn't take a shower and they said was absolutely insane to be around. Like, could not he. They said he was unbearable to be around. Could not have a conversation. Would scream at you. Was really like out of control nuts. We should do a deep dive on Michelangelo too.

[Chris Distefano]

We will. So you're saying he was a tough hang.

[Giannis Papas]

He was a tough hang, but a good kid and a fun kid. I mean, the thing is, most of these brilliant speakers. Steve Jobs was a tough hang. Elon Musk is probably a tough hang, but you're not. Michael Jordan is a tough hang. But. But they're great and they're brilliant. So it's something you got to give a little.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's just. It's the yin and the yang. It's the black and white cookie of it all.

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is, cuz. And now we're here. Go to patreon.com historyainas if you want to get your name read. This is the most fun part of the show, and this is where we really go wild. No cackles, no edits at all. @patreon.com historyainias of this episode and of our bonus episode. We have bonus content up there. We give you guys a bonus every week on top of the uncackled, unedited YouTube episode. And you get a chance to get your new name right. Here we go. Hopefully you're healing your name right. It's a ppw. Okay. Nathan Carr, welcome to the matriarchy. John, Larry, Adam Colguccio, Tommy C. Then we got Mr. Don't worry about it. Then we got.

[Chris Distefano]

I like. That's a chicken finger.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay. Chicken finger.

[Chris Distefano]

I like Mr. Don't worry about it.

[Giannis Papas]

All right. He likes him.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Canner goes. Then we got pretzel monkey with bratwurst piece. It's what it is. Drexler actually said is Weiss. Is Weiss did. He said it's what it is in German. Does that give him a chicken finger? Does that get him on the list?

[Chris Distefano]

That puts. That's a very, very strong. Let's put him on the list.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay. He.

[Chris Distefano]

He was on the Fence between Drexler. But he did. He did it in German. He did.

[Giannis Papas]

It's vice versa.

[Chris Distefano]

Puts him on the list.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then we got Banco Popular Employee of the Month, Diego the Donkey Alvarez.

[Chris Distefano]

Put him on the list.

[Giannis Papas]

He's on the list.

[Chris Distefano]

Back to back.

[Giannis Papas]

Dylan Gavora. Then we got. Cuz he was. He. Father Bill crammed his fuzzy in my Buzzy. I need help with my proctologist. Bill Bills.

[Chris Distefano]

It's great. I'm always amazed at what they do with the Father Bill stuff. It's a Drexler look. Coming after those two Johnny Bands.

[Giannis Papas]

Yvonne. And then. And by the way, I did just ask my lawyer if Father Bill, who was still alive, could sue us. And he said no, because you're just saying Father Bill. There's many Father Bills.

[Chris Distefano]

That's right.

[Giannis Papas]

Don't know. He goes. You never mentioned what school, what church, or his last name.

[Chris Distefano]

And also, he did molest you. So if he sued you, that would be inappropriate.

[Giannis Papas]

That's what we call Mexican standoff. I mean, you better not let me open my mouth. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You got some things to say to him in court?

[Giannis Papas]

It's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Troy Wingardner. Then we got. Make no mistake, 23andMe. Confirmed. I'm from Munich, not Rome. Just like Chrissy. Stolen Sauce Monkey. Valor D.

[Chris Distefano]

Because you said you were.

[Giannis Papas]

Pretending to be Italian. Yeah, what do you think?

[Chris Distefano]

So I'm putting him on the list.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay, you're on.

[Chris Distefano]

The creativity of that.

[Giannis Papas]

Then we got My brother Kettner is gay. Shout Out. Now I have eight.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, that means he banged his brother. You gotta put the inventiveness. Unfortunately, it's a Drexler coming after those three. But a good one.

[Giannis Papas]

We got the Robotussy. Got me feeling fussy. Okay, Kids on Robotussian. Michael Riddell. Daniel Talty. Jordan Baxter Gordon. Then we got Drippy Blippi from some hippie.

[Chris Distefano]

Lippy Drexler.

[Giannis Papas]

Drexler, Good. Then we got Son of a Blue Chew Glue Gun.

[Chris Distefano]

Funny, but it's a Drexler.

[Giannis Papas]

Go to Bluechew. Use that promo code. Hyenas.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, do that.

[Giannis Papas]

Get discount. Then we got Michael Gibson. Then we got Philip Sweetman. Ga Head. Then we got Long Skinny Potato Hog.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a Drax. Good one. Good one.

[Giannis Papas]

Then we got Ben Jason Davis. Chick Fil. Ao.

[Chris Distefano]

Chick fil.

[Giannis Papas]

A Chick fil. A chick fellatio.

[Chris Distefano]

Put him on the list.

[Giannis Papas]

Not bad.

[Chris Distefano]

Chicken finger. That gets on the list, Kate.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay. Then we got Damp Shenanigans. Then we got Wuhan Solo.

[Chris Distefano]

Wuhan solo.

[Giannis Papas]

Like Wuhan solo.

[Chris Distefano]

I gotta put him on the list.

[Giannis Papas]

Very inventive.

[Chris Distefano]

I gotta put him on the list.

[Giannis Papas]

Sarah Straitman, Bryce Albanjomp. Then we got Trudeau. Makes me poo his glue. Okay. Father Bill's oil spill. Chrissy got Chris. He walked into one.

[Chris Distefano]

You walked into one?

[Giannis Papas]

Okay. Walked into one.

[Chris Distefano]

What is that?

[Giannis Papas]

Security.

[Chris Distefano]

Security.

[Giannis Papas]

Oh, okay, so we got security. Yeah, so we got security. So we're walking to the back. I walked into one. Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Then we got Michelle Obama's glue gun.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a notable mention. Drexler.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Then we got Thomas Scene. Shane Lynch. Then we got Is Venatea in Chris the Teacher's Basement.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a Drexer, but a good one, a funny one.

[Giannis Papas]

Then we got Brian Puff, Mackenzie Kinnick. Then we got two white names. Make no mistake, I'm a Leroy. Bad. Bad, bad.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, she's a black kid.

[Giannis Papas]

Black kid. Then we got Fumari Ray. Not gay, but since he got paid. Seeing Tim Dillon's Pokeball in a different way.

[Chris Distefano]

Good.

[Giannis Papas]

Drexler can Derek Cronin. Andrea Kyle Mandrelli. Then we got the Franks and Beaned Fume Fiend.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay, funny.

[Giannis Papas]

White kid with a piece, but it's tucked back a lot. Drexler, Sarah Markowitz. Then we got $3 Bill Clinton, which I think we've had before.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Yanni's nose needs a restraining order on his eyes.

[Chris Distefano]

I got. Yeah, put him on the list. I think that's a catapult.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay. Catapult.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. What is he saying is my eyes are so close together, my nose is asking the law to get involved.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. It's funny. It's funny. Yeah. Then we got Mr. Peepee Poo. Poo. Okay, that sounds like my daughter.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Then we got Zach Bridal. Then we got VD positive, I guess. Venereal disease positive. Then we got Edmond Ashgarian, Justin Connell. Then we. Then we got Roscoe here for the content. Okay. Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Roscoe.

[Giannis Papas]

Roscoe here for the content. Go straight to the back. Robert Moran, R.D. pat Wolf. Then we got Jesus, Hitler and my daughter have Jewish moms, so we'll see.

[Chris Distefano]

Drexler.

[Giannis Papas]

Drexler. Nice. Chrissy's tubberware full of cum pig and Yanni's feta cheese. SLOK s. Okay. Alex Johnson. Then we got Mikey G. Eating a bacon, egg and cheese on the bqe. Avoiding eye contact with A Namin. Who wants my money.

[Chris Distefano]

Very funny. Drexler.

[Giannis Papas]

Security.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, security, yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Then we got P. Diddy. Came to see me in a different way in the summer of 03.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[Giannis Papas]

Sorry.

[Chris Distefano]

You get a Drexler just for the sympathy of what happened to you.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, sorry about that. Okay, they got Brian Patterson. And then. Okay, Got on the list here.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Then we got Matthew the Gay Quebec. Matthew the Gay Quebec. Because it's just what it is. Because. I'm sorry. Victim of a bad read. But it was too muffled. Matt Marasco. Wade Preston. David Adam Trejal. Ben Walgren. Jerry Joyner. Then we got Cammy Whammies. Fanny is for the table, cuz.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Frankie Mars. Antonio Shores. Then we got Yanni Spanked Me while we role played. Wicked.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Paul Hampson. Then we got Greasy Tuggles for the Cuzzies. Then we got Glue on my Hepish Three. Three Father Bills for the table. Nathan Frost. Then we got Chrissy Cackles, AKA Father Bill for the table from Lakeside Maple.

[Chris Distefano]

Good rhyme.

[Giannis Papas]

Ski like it, cuz. Make no mistake, since 98. Hezel Cuckhart. Toll like Eckhart Cuckhart.

[Chris Distefano]

Just the creativity. Put him on the list, okay. Yeah. I love it.

[Giannis Papas]

Bailey, Hulk, Andrew Gutierrez. Then we got Chris Gopoing. Okay. Walked into.

[Chris Distefano]

Walked into what?

[Giannis Papas]

Security.

[Chris Distefano]

Security, please. To the back.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Then we got $3 bill, cuz make no miscarriage.

[Chris Distefano]

Put him on the list.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, put them on the list. Contender.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Okay. Gabe Casala. Brandon Cartwright. Irish Patch. Then we got Alexander. Conquered My Glue Gun. Then we got Every Time I Choke, I David Carradine myself. Yeah. Drexler, Nate Ford, Matt Boo. Then we got. Make no mistake, My brain is fried. Franks and Beans. That man Allen. Zach Stalls. Then we got Mikey. Make no mistake, you better bring back Venator. I'll come see you in a diddy. Chrissy Boyhole for the table.

[Chris Distefano]

I'll see you at Diddy Way is funny. He's great. You gotta put him on the list. This group is like almost planned to be inventive.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Really?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Then we got Chrissy Boyhole for the table.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Dylan, Edward B. Dogmeat, Travis, William, Andrew. Then we got. I found Chrissy D's used love sack at my home. Namin.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Remember to love sack.

[Giannis Papas]

There it is. Then we got Mian Fumer Sauerkraut for the table. Milad Ebidat, Tony. Then we got Beating Barbara's Bush at Martha's Vineyard.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. Drexler. Drexler.

[Giannis Papas]

Mexican Cuzzy Wuzzy Kippy Longstocking, Zilla 76. Alexander Wolnski, Donnie T's Homosexual Catapult.

[Chris Distefano]

Good try.

[Giannis Papas]

Fumar Wars. The Dempyre Strikes Back.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Johnny Two Shoes, Ben Richardson, Girth Brooks Chilla. It's a character piece.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, Girth, bro.

[Giannis Papas]

Girth Brooks.

[Chris Distefano]

Put him on the list.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay? He's on the list.

[Chris Distefano]

Girth Brooks.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Girth Brooks is great chicken figure, too.

[Giannis Papas]

Then we got Anthony Johnson, Ben Carlisle, Uncle Beaner Wiener with a muzzy fuzzy poop chute. Okay? If Giannis is dick, you better pop ass. Okay?

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Christopher Smith. Greg Loubdanis. Mitchell Harden. Meinfuere Donnie.

[Chris Distefano]

Wait, wait, wait. What was the. Greg Lubanus.

[Giannis Papas]

Greg Lubdanus.

[Chris Distefano]

It's probably the winner. Okay, that's probably the winner. Yeah, that's probably the winner. That's a contender right now. Holy shit.

[Giannis Papas]

We'll keep going, but that one's big. Oh, I see one down here that also could be a contender. Mind fear of Donnie T. But want to get Diddy by aoc Then we got Tyler, the matzah monkey with the fickle Jewish pickle.

[Chris Distefano]

Nicholas, this great, put him on the list. But he's gonna be Drexler. But it's great because I don't know if anyone's beating Greg. Lube Danis.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Three dollar to make me holler Butternut biscuit boy. Spank my spanach a figure. Okay. Spank my spanakopita till I shoot feta out of my pita piece.

[Chris Distefano]

Drexler.

[Giannis Papas]

Donnie T's got a nice piece. Don't put me in a camp. Please.

[Chris Distefano]

Put him on the list. He's gonna get Drexler on any other day.

[Giannis Papas]

Matt McCullen, Ryan W. Lil Chrissy is stealing Yanni's. Kalani's on the low. Cause make no mistake, times are harder than Tony Hinchcliffe. Vest shopping.

[Chris Distefano]

On the list.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, funny.

[Giannis Papas]

Spiro Xenophonatos. David Blake, Owens. Then we got Yanni's eyes are closer than the Menendez brothers.

[Chris Distefano]

Drexler. Really good, though.

[Giannis Papas]

Kamali, Wally, please wallow me.

[Chris Distefano]

Walked into one security, walked in one security.

[Giannis Papas]

Then we got Chrissy. Make no mistake, Yanni tucks it back, but Chrissy is still shooting glue on his love sack. Trump, 2024. Dr. Fumar Johnson. Chrissy's wart on his glue gun. Wyatt Goble. Then we got way O.C. and Sandra D. 20, 30, 33. Okay. Then we got Pooky Johnson. Then we got my girls. Guatemalan. So it's close enough.

[Chris Distefano]

All right.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Alex Baker. Justin Tansky. Then we got inside out. 9 to 30 years old and newly Republican. Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Welcome to. Welcome to the Republican Party. Not for me. I'm just saying.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah, they're happy there. Cole Anderson. Then we got Gary, the self hating German Jew.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow, that kid's in a pickle.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Andrew Cleary. Ramy Venetia's glue gun. Steve Rogers. Then we got Scrutin Potato Monkey, who did the right thing and moved to Florida because Jersey went fully charged. We Sean, she and Trump. 2028.

[Chris Distefano]

Kids got some opinions.

[Giannis Papas]

Yes. Jonathan Pier, Antonio, Joseph Altine, Holly, Jake. Then we got Snow Monkey with a little fumes and no alibi for January 6th.

[Chris Distefano]

Put him on the list.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay, let's do one more page. But we think. Yeah, we got. We.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, I don't. I. I just don't see anyone beating Greg.

[Giannis Papas]

Well, let's just see if there's anything in here.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Edwin Dante's Gore Hammer, Maj Awad. Chrissy Spunky and the Suzuki Monkey.

[Chris Distefano]

Good one.

[Giannis Papas]

Chicken Finger like that. Jesus Renteria. Robert McMahon. L. Ron Cupboard.

[Chris Distefano]

Good one. Good one. It's a Drexler, unfortunately.

[Giannis Papas]

Peter, AKA Father Bill's favorite altar boy boy, Nicholas Roberts. Then we got Just a cucked Cuzzy whose ex was a Muzzy. So I'm Kamala in the Mashallah and Trump in my hump. It's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

It's okay. Yeah.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay. My island is long, but my penis isn't.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. Yeah, Funny.

[Giannis Papas]

Frank's beans gives me fumes. Avangard. Avangard. Abduli Elmi, Phil Eddie Moving the veggies to eat. Les cookies. Matthew Commonist. Jeffro Cam. Leslie Dolly Walker Bar. Trent Reznor's high school trouble.

[Chris Distefano]

Walk bar is good. Dolly Walker. Dolly Walk Bar is good.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay. Nick Berman. Vlad putis. Devin Costa. 2024 Hacksaw Jim. How you doing? Todd Ingram. Dr. Gun in my mouth at my corporate job.

[Chris Distefano]

Chicken figure.

[Giannis Papas]

Then we got Chrissy Menendez, 69. Sean Goldman. Then we got Ladder 14's HR department.

[Chris Distefano]

Like that.

[Giannis Papas]

Yeah. Matt. Matt Campbell. Father Bill licked my ear and called me cute. Jerry Pangold. Then we got from the river to the Sea. Yanni's gotta shut up, Chrissy. Okay, okay. Veneer the butt smear ds. Then we got the best baby bunny in the whole wide baby bunny world. Okay, okay. Yanni's gooch is the belly of the dragon. Jazz's beard walked into one. Theo saves Fumari Stick up CRS one. Andrew Mama. Ken Fisher. Cole Murphy. Big daddy from Cincinnati. Christian Ivilius. Wait.

[Chris Distefano]

I like Big Daddy from Cincinnati.

[Giannis Papas]

You like Big Daddy from Cincinnati.

[Chris Distefano]

Just give him a good strong chicken finger.

[Giannis Papas]

And it's actually Big Dick Daddy from Cincinnati. Oh, Big Dick Daddy, Cincinnati.

[Chris Distefano]

I like it. I did Drexler and Chicken Finger.

[Giannis Papas]

Then we got Peter McLeod. Then we got Red Coat. Cuz he got no problem with the muzzies. It's a character piece.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Then we got Snorting Cuzzy wuzzy sizzle pills with $3 bills. Good. Then we got Christian Alvarez. And then we got Puz E Juice.

[Chris Distefano]

Pussy Juice.

[Giannis Papas]

Pussy juice.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Giannis Papas]

Should we keep going or.

[Chris Distefano]

I think that's good. Because, you know, I want to be unfair to the other people.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay, so here we go.

[Chris Distefano]

For me, it's a clear winner. All right, but you want to give everyone a notable mention?

[Giannis Papas]

Let's just. Let's just give the notable mentions. Here we go. Thank you guys for going. Our patreon.com historyainas but we got pretzel monkey with bratwurst piece. Is Feist. Is Schweist. Great, great. Drexler, unfortunately, Banco Popular employee of the Montego, the donkey Alvar.

[Chris Distefano]

On any other day.

[Giannis Papas]

Okay, $3 bill. Cause make no miscarriage.

[Chris Distefano]

On any other day, literally, he would. Of the three, I would give it to him, Mikey.

[Giannis Papas]

Make no mistake. You better bring Venetia back or I'll come see you in a diddy way.

[Chris Distefano]

Another. Another great one. Drexler.

[Giannis Papas]

Girth Brooks.

[Chris Distefano]

Girth Brooks. Great. Drexler.

[Giannis Papas]

Chicka fellatio.

[Chris Distefano]

Amazing.

[Giannis Papas]

Wuhan solo.

[Chris Distefano]

Both Drexler, Both amazing.

[Giannis Papas]

Make no mistake, 23andMe confirmed. I'm from Munich, not Rome. Just like Chrissy. Stolen sauce monkey. Valerde.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Any other day. The other day.

[Giannis Papas]

Yanni's nose needs a restraining order on his eyes.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, I'm sorry. You got Drexlered.

[Giannis Papas]

Snow monkey with a little fumes. And no alibi for January 6th.

[Chris Distefano]

The funny of that. On any other day, Drexler.

[Giannis Papas]

Lil Chrissy is stealing Yanni's clown. He's on the low because make no mistake, cuz times are harder than Tony Hinchcliffe Vestra on any other day. Donny T's got a nice piece. Don't put me in a can, please.

[Chris Distefano]

Great funny factor. Unfortunately.

[Giannis Papas]

Drexler, Tyler, the matzo monkey with the fickle Jewish pickle nickels.

[Chris Distefano]

Amazing. With the nickels at the end. It's amazing. It's going.

[Giannis Papas]

Drexler, unfortunately, last but not least, Greg Lubdanus.

[Chris Distefano]

Greg Lubdanis is the winner.

[Giannis Papas]

In my opinion, you're the winner. If you call it. That's what it is. Jesse's saying yes. I'm saying yes. PPW. Go to historynewsisback.com to see Greg Loubdanis. You are this week's PPW.

[Chris Distefano]

And let me just explain. It was so good that you almost missed it because the rhyme is just like Luganus.

[Giannis Papas]

Yep.

[Chris Distefano]

So that's how good it was.

[Giannis Papas]

My brain didn't register.

[Chris Distefano]

Didn't even register.

[Giannis Papas]

But it's what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

Greg lubed anus.

[Giannis Papas]

There it is.

[Chris Distefano]

He was a gay kid.

[Giannis Papas]

Great kid. Like da Vinci, who our episode was about. It does have aids, which it just wasn't around at da Vinci's time. But make no mistake, he would have gotten it, too.