Unexpected Origin of the NY Knicks | History Hyenas

Summary

History Hyenas: "Unexpected Origin of the NY Knicks"

Hosts: Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas
Date: May 28, 2026

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Episode Overview

Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas dive into the quirky, layered history behind the New York Knicks' name, linking it to Dutch colonial New York, early American capitalism, and the city’s legacy of tolerance and diversity. True to form, the hosts blend deep historical rabbit holes with hilarious, irreverent banter on food, family, culture, and New York character—which together paint a funny, fast-paced, yet surprisingly informative portrait of the Knicks, New York, and themselves.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Knicks Fever & NY Sports Loyalty

• The episode opens with excitement over the Knicks’ NBA finals run and a pledge to cover the origins of "Knickerbocker", the team name, and Dutch NYC history.
• Chris rails against “fair weather” fans and the Brooklyn Nets (“If you’re a Nets fan from New York and over 21? Stay away from me!” - Chris, 20:13), insisting on “real sports talk” only while the Knicks are hot.
• Yannis points out that the last time Knicks fans were excited was during “Linsanity” (“This reminds me of Linsanity…a Chinese kid from Harvard who had a couple games where he scored 21 points”—Yannis, 31:07).

The True Origin of “Knickerbocker” and Team Colors

• “Knickerbocker” is traced to Washington Irving, who in 1809 wrote under the pseudonym “Diedrich Knickerbocker,” a send-up of Dutch New Yorkers who wore baggy knee-length trousers.
• The orange and blue Knicks’ team colors come from the Dutch flag, mirroring NYC’s own flag as well (48:19).
• The name was informally chosen out of a hat by the Madison Square Garden execs in 1946, and alternatives aren’t known (49:10).
• Memorable quote: “The full name Knickerbockers refers to old Dutch settlers in New York—those baggy knee-length trousers. While we don't have a documented list of official runner-up names, they likely tossed around some generic New York themed ideas. But ultimately the Knicks just fit and it stuck.” — (B [Yannis]/ChatGPT “Chad Palminteri”, 49:58)

Dutch Colonial Tolerance: Why NY is "Different"

• Chris and Yannis dissect how 17th-century New Amsterdam’s foundation of “tolerance” —both religious and ethnic— shaped NYC’s forever-multiethnic, bohemian, and inclusive identity (see 33:44–37:47).
• The Dutch brought land-ownership concepts (“God made the earth; the Dutch made Holland”), collective prosperity, and the world’s first stock market to NYC.
• Dutch tolerance contrasted with British/East Coast puritanism, and this legacy permeates NYC street culture, the makeup of the Knicks roster, and the city’s attitude at large.
• Notable quote: “This whole bohemian idea of New York City, which has spread across the whole world—it’s got a very specific reason why it happened. …The reason why New York is New York is because of the Dutch.” —Chris, 37:44/37:47

Fractured Basketball Memories & NYC Comedy

• Chris recounts being a real Knicks fan, flashing back to 1994 at a Knicks–Magic game (21:13), trashing bandwagon-ers, and listing great, terrible, and obscure Knicks through the years (“I was rooting for them when they had Clee Anthony Early”—21:00).
• The hosts recall the steroid era, Pat Riley’s bruisers, and the string of “washed-up” players New York had after (23:32–24:24).
• Chris aspires to dunk again by August (“I want to dunk a basketball again before the peptides stop working” — 51:50), and the two joke about forming a podcast rec league with their out-of-shape friends (54:06).

Candid asides: Food, Family, and NYC Personalities

• Chris eats his way through Memorial Day “for the troops” (03:49–04:49) and talks about balancing his daughters’ mixed heritage and “leaning into the white” for Dad’s sake (06:04).
• Extended riffing on Dutch pancakes, blue-chew boners, special needs, and “expat” vs. “immigrant” white wordplay (42:05, 43:24, 47:18).
• Shout-outs to celebrity Knicks fans, including Timothée Chalamet, Ben Stiller, and Knicks’ famous former attendees Woody Allen and Soon-Yi (“I like to see her sitting on his lap” —Yannis, 28:41).

Dutch Empire, NYC's Global Past, and Fun Facts

• Henry Hudson sailed for the Dutch West India Company; Peter Stuyvesant was a company soldier before governor (38:22).
• The Dutch founded the NYC stock market and land-ownership models; modern Manhattan’s multiethnic roots stem from Dutch tolerance (36:44).
• Fun fact: New York’s “wall” on Wall Street was originally to keep out the British, not protect colonists from Natives (35:27).
• The sale of Manhattan for “$24” is (a) exaggerated and (b) more about bartering/protection than property rights as we know them (40:00).
• Dutch maintained Caribbean islands (Aruba, Curacao, St. Martin) and had an early, but later-reformed, relationship to the slave trade (46:12).
• Hilarious cultural mix-ups, local references, and irreverent quips throughout.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

The Knicks, Dutch History & NY Tolerance

• “The reason why New York is New York is because of the Dutch.”—Chris, 37:47
• “This whole bohemian idea … there’s a very specific reason it happened. …Look at even our Knicks team: we got a little bit of everything!” —Chris, 36:44–37:47

Real NY Sports Fans & the Bandwagon

• “If you are a Brooklyn Nets fan and you’re from New York City and not New Jersey, I would like you to stay away from me.”—Chris, 20:13
• “I was there every game...17 games one year! I was there every game.” —Chris, 23:20

Dutch Tolerance vs. British Rigidity

• “The Dutch were very tolerant, you could do whatever you wanted. The British were not tolerant because … they said there's no way we can be tolerant, because … we all have to have one identity to fight the Spanish, to fight the Dutch, to fight Native Americans—we all have to be one.” —Chris, 34:27

Food and Identity

• “My daughters need to know that one of their parents is white ... but I really need you to lean into the white side for a little bit for daddy.” —Chris, 06:04

Peptides & Basketball Dreams

• “I want to dunk a basketball again in my life before the peptides stop working ... if I blow out again, there’s no coming back from that one. That's the last blowout.”—Chris, 51:50–52:34

Dutch Empire Commerce

• “They were like the first international conglomerates…It was like Tesla or Amazon having their own army.” —Yannis, 38:52

On ‘Expat’

• “Expats are just immigrants, but they’re white people, right?” —Chris, 47:18

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Important Timestamps

• 02:26 – Main show starts: Yannis intros, Chris rips on James Harden and sets up Knicks episode
• 03:49–05:24 – Memorial Day food binge, “for the troops” riffs
• 06:04–08:26 – Chris on kids’ identity and “leaning in” to whiteness
• 19:15–21:13 – Knicks’ playoff run, sports loyalty, hating “Nets fans”
• 21:13–24:34 – Chris’ true Knicks fandom, growing up Knicks (“Here’s Johnny” David Lee, obscure ex-players)
• 33:44–37:47 – Deep dive: Religious and ethnic tolerance in Dutch New Amsterdam; how it set NYC apart
• 38:52–47:18 – Corporate empire, Dutch West/East India Companies run New York as proto-multinational
• 48:19–51:04 – Origin of Knicks name, the Dutch flag, picking “Knickerbocker” from a hat, team color trivia
• 51:50–53:17 – Chris’ quest to dunk again, basketball and peptide metaphors
• 62:28–63:14 – Patreon poll winner segment (history hyenas in-jokes)
• Final 10 mins (approx. 60:33–71:00) – Patreon name game & wrapup, poignant reflection on fleetingness of life and New York's “ephemeral” character

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Tone & Style

Wildly irreverent, local, and fast-paced: Chris and Yannis swerve from deep dives to deranged tangents, keeping facts, history, and New York’s unique spirit at the center. Though often NSFW and politically incorrect, their affection for New York, comedy, and each other shines through even the wildest riffs.

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TL;DR Takeaway

This episode delivers a signature History Hyenas blend: you’ll leave knowing exactly how the New York Knicks got their peculiar name—and, even more, why New York is not just any American city, but a tolerant, wild bohemian enclave whose weirdness and success grows straight from the Dutch roots of New Amsterdam. And, yes, you’ll laugh—and maybe crave a Dutch pancake.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

You know the phrase dirty hands, clean money? It's a blue collar saying that's been around forever, means exactly what it sounds like. You work hard with your hands, you earn an honest living, and you build a good life. A good white life.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right?

[A]

A lot of $14.

[B]

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[A]

Yeah.

[B]

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[A]

Yes. And Dutch colonial New York City. It's very, very interesting. Go Knicks.

[B]

Go Knicks. Catch me in Atlantic City, June 26th and 7th. East Hampton, July 10th. New Brunswick, New Jersey, July 17th and 18th. Philly, August 14th and 15th. And Austin August 23rd, 1st, 23rd. Tickets yanispapiscomedy.com Patreon.com History Hyenas.

[A]

Yeah. And then also I'll be there June 26th, 27th. I will be in Stamford, Connecticut. We've just added Philadelphia in July. And then we've added Portland, Maine. That's QQ. Cute. And Atlantic City. Christy. Comedy.com for tiki wikis. Enjoy the Dutch. Go Nicks.

[B]

What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of your favorite podcast, history Hyenas. I am Giannis, AKA the ticket page out of Chrissy's book. AKA Yanni. Different hair style. Trying guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm sitting here with Chrissy, Abercrombie and Fitch.

[A]

Yeah, you're. You're. You're Yanni.

[B]

Allergies.

[A]

Johnny Hair flat. Your Yanni. James Harden. Because you given up. You don't care anymore.

[B]

I don't care anymore. James Harden. That should be the new way you describe someone who just threw it in the towel? Yeah, it's James Harden.

[A]

I mean, you should have known that James Harden didn't care when he just hasn't shaved his face since 2011.

[B]

If James Harden was in your military, he'd be the guy who'd be waving for the other side to this is where my guys are. Come get him.

[A]

Yeah, right? Yeah.

[B]

I almost feel like he plays for the other team.

[A]

Yeah, well, he, his facial hair looks like he does play for the other team.

[B]

Well, he's been on so many teams like chasing success that I think sometimes he forgets he might have thought.

[A]

Right.

[B]

He was on the Knicks.

[A]

Right. Yeah. Now, so what we're going to talk about today, today we have a great episode. It's just the energy in New York City is budget baby. That the New York Knicks are going to the NBA finals. We're going to talk about the history of the New York Knicks and then correlate that into the history of Dutch New York, which is fascinating. Fascinating that the word knickerbocker comes from Dutch. And we're get to it. But first I want to get to you, Yanni, you texted us what you ate this weekend. And it was one of those things where I had to ask you a follow up question. I said, do you eat that for the weekend? Did you eat that today?

[B]

It's very funny that American holidays are married to the worst food, right? We never have any holidays where it's like, oh, you got to get. We're going to have a special kale salad, right? It's always like the worst food. We need to have a holiday where we attach the food and patriotism right. To kale, to sweet potatoes, to something like that.

[A]

So Jess, if you could just pull up real quick that text that you just had up. I'd like to read to you what Yanni texted us, what he ate. And it was just a little bit. Do you have it up? Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Yanni texted us, okay. I had three hot dogs, a burger, two sliders, two alcoholic seltzers, pizza slice, an ice cream saucer, a slice of key lime pie and lots of span of coconut. And so it was one of those moments. Cause you sent it at 9:20. We were watching the Knicks game and it was the first time that I took my eyes off the game and I said, I need to help my friend in need. What did now one day, that was the whole weekend.

[B]

But you said it was okay. Because it was for the troops.

[A]

Because it was for the troops.

[B]

Fallen heroes.

[A]

As long as you did it.

[B]

My dad died for this country.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

But he died later. Yeah.

[A]

And it's just. Look, here's the thing is we all. Here's the truth with me. Even I told you I've been on Peptides. I'm doing this right of true Tide. And it's just to the point now where I'm 10, 11 weeks in and I'm eating through it. Okay. I had 10 desserts between Friday and Saturday. It was raining on Memorial Day weekend. So Memorial Day weekend was just one of those. It was just one of those weekends where it was pissing rain all week in New York City and I just ate a lot. You ate a lot. You know, I went to the guests guest bathroom, masturbated, and we just got through the weekend.

[B]

You get a little depressed too when it's raining out, right? I do.

[A]

I used to get depressed when it was hot and sunny, but now it's flipped. Now I get depressed when it's raining. Now I want to be out in the hot, hot sun.

[B]

You do, right?

[A]

I don't know what's changed about me, but I want to be out in the hot, hot sun. As you could tell by the way I'm dressing is I want to be out in the hot, hot sun.

[B]

I mean, you're just a white guy today.

[A]

Because I'm Abercrombie and Fitch model. Yeah. I'm starting to really realize that my daughters need to know that one of their parents is white way song she.

[B]

Because they're going to pick. You don't want to. You don't want them to introduce you as my white dad or my dad is white. My dad's learned a lot, taught my dad, you know, you don't want to be called the white dad.

[A]

No. Like, I try to do little things for them. Is I push, is I'll push like, you know, a Diet Coke in front of them or I'll push an RC Cola and I see which one they pick because I want them to obviously to pick Diet Coke. But sometimes my daughters pick the RC Colas and you just have to have conversations with them and say, I want you to accept and acknowledge your. Your Latino side, but I really need you to lean into the white side for a little bit for daddy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

While daddy's here, I need you to really lean into the white. Just for my own sanity. That's all it is. I just for my own. But of course, acknowledge the Latino and be proud of it. But let's be a little bit More white if we can.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I figure if I start dressing more white, which is. This is why I'm dressed like a trendy Holocaust victim. Ye is I said, that will help them because, you know, listen, the thing is, I love my beautiful family, okay? There's so many great things about my beautiful wife and children, all that. But the thing that I have to just accept and. Cause I think acceptance, radical acceptance, is really key. I have to acknowledge. And there's many things that, you know, Jasmine has to, you know, accept about me, and I understand that. But I do have to just say that I do have two daughters, and their mother has a tattoo on her tit. So I have to just say if that's okay. But the way to balance that out is dad has to be a little bit more white, even when I don't want to. Yeah. So I'm wearing. You know what I mean? I'm wearing New balances. I'm wearing light blue jeans because I brought my daughters to school today, and I just said, you know. And I knew they were a little upset because Josephine, our dog's getting spaded. So, you know, Josephine's getting her pussy cut out.

[B]

Yes. Why are they upset about that?

[A]

Because they think that. Because, you know, their mom talked.

[B]

That's tragic. That's kind of tragic for Puerto Ricans when they see somebody loses their reproductive capability.

[A]

Well, that's what she said. She said at the table the other day, she's like, you know, I don't know if this feels right, that we've taken away her right to choose.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I said, you know what? But we can't have a period around the house. And she was like, why? We clean it up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I said, you know, I really don't. I didn't want this talk in the first place. And now I can't have its bleeding vagina all over the couch.

[B]

Yeah. There's something about Latin women. I mean, they're so sexy, so beautiful. They just get pregnant very easily.

[A]

It's very, very, very quick. To the point where you start to realize, like, if they don't get pregnant after a couple times having sex, they start to get really upset. They're like, why? What's happening to my body?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're so fertile.

[A]

They're fer. Myrtle. Myrtles. But I have a beautiful family, beautiful life, and I have made a decision to dress white. And it's just. And it's just what it is. Cause it's just what it is.

[B]

You're doing really Good. Cause you look really healthy, and as long as you don't look like that.

[A]

Yeah, that's. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, this. This picture just.

[B]

Just like this guy is. It looks like he's, like, the door just opened to the van, and he's stepping in behind my brother to go bowling.

[A]

Yeah, it's just a bowling picture. And we. We won't name names. Giannis will send the picture to the group chat. We will put it up in the podcast because.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I just want everyone to know out there if you're dealing with anyone that has a ponytail at some point. A ponytail is the mark of Satan.

[A]

It is.

[B]

It's really. That's how I identify Satan's workers, his ponytails. That's. Nick does not put it in a ponytail. Nick has grown his hair to compensate for what he doesn't have going on in the top.

[A]

Nick.

[B]

Nick's got. He's like Lou Albano, right? He's got the Lou Albat. You could put. Why don't you put the rubber band in the goatee? Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Now, Nick.

[B]

Cause if I cut that and taped it on the top of your head, though, we'd be in business. Yeah.

[A]

Now, Nick. I had a show on Friday night at New York Comedy Club, owned by our friend. I had a show at New York Comedy Club. And I'm sitting there on the steps, going over my notes for the show, and I see. And I just see a hooded man with shorts on walking fast. His feet are moving really fast, but his body's not. And I just see him looking straight ahead. And I look over, and it is the one and only Nick. Yeah, it's the one and only Nick the stick walking through the Lower east side. And I was really happy that Nick left. He left. You know, I said, oh, you know, good to see you. Whatever. And we talked five minutes, and he said, okay, he's gonna keep walking. But then he came back and he enjoyed the show. Nick came and enjoyed the show. And it was really nice to come off stage and just see Nick there eating the New York Comedy Club popcorn, which definitely has mice feces on it. And just be sure and just being able to see a friend in when you needed it. It was real nice to see Nick.

[B]

That's really nice.

[A]

It was nice. I like a surprise.

[B]

Nick. That's really nice. While you were on stage, was texting Nick because we had to redo the video, because I made a Panos video about the Odyssey trailer.

[A]

I saw that one.

[B]

And Neil Vardalis got really Upset?

[A]

Well, I saw the public comment that she got. Did she get upset privately towards you?

[B]

She.

[A]

She.

[B]

She didn't contact me, but she was not happy about it.

[A]

Well, I saw the public comment.

[B]

It was good, though. We made it better.

[A]

She was like, I'm not. She was like, I'm not. I don't need cgi. Which I thought was, like, funny.

[B]

Then she kept going. Yeah, she kept going.

[A]

What did she say after that?

[B]

Just didn't like. I mean, panels. What? Listen, I don't.

[A]

You're not.

[B]

I don't agree with anything that guy says. Yeah, I don't agree with one thing that guy says. That guy. He said that she needed CGI to look young and pretty. You know, that didn't mean she's not pretty. That means Pano said that. Said that. And that means Panos knows what a real age is.

[A]

Yeah, it's just what Hollywood standards. I didn't see that. She kept going, though. She was really personally going at you.

[B]

Upset. Yeah, she was.

[A]

Well, that's Greek. Women get upset. Do you know her personally, though, or.

[B]

I've met her once, back in the day. We communicated a little bit when she wanted me to promote her movie, which was like, I think it was my big factory wedding goes to London or to Mars. Did you promote it? Space. Huh?

[A]

Did you promote it?

[B]

No. I think we did make a video, but, like, you know, it's like, what can you do?

[A]

What can you do?

[B]

I mean, what can you do? I mean, if this was 1999 or 2017, I. I'd be a little upset.

[A]

You said. I mean, to be fair. To be fair, it wasn't just her. I mean, you said John Stamos doesn't have a career.

[B]

Yeah, I said that. I said. I called Stavi.

[A]

Fact that he wasn't upset.

[B]

I said Matt Damon looked like a stretched out.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And then. But we made it better. I mean, Nick made it better.

[A]

Women, I guess women get upset about that, which fine.

[B]

And.

[A]

And Greek, you know, especially a male

[B]

commenting on a female, you know.

[A]

Did you say that she was like, you shouldn't be coming.

[B]

I don't know what she said, but it just. Yeah, but my intention wasn't to hurt anyone's feelings. But it's funny that, because I think it actually came out better the way that it was.

[A]

Yeah, it was a great.

[B]

I said, we want Giannis Pappas in there to play Cyclops.

[A]

So funny. Take shots at yourself. Y. Yeah.

[B]

The thing is, when you're editing a piece, you pick certain things and what Nick Picked made it fast, and it was going crazy viral. So, Nia, you know, it's like, I've done things for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I changed it for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What have you done for me lately? Can I go be in my big factory wedding? Go in another dimension? I know you're going to keep taking swings at that.

[A]

It's what it is. And yeah, for the record, I think you're beautiful.

[B]

D. You are very. She is very beautiful woman.

[A]

And I honestly think I. I will say this, and I mean this earnestly. My Big Fat Greek Wedding one. I haven't seen the others, but My Big fat Greek wedding one to me is top 10 best movie of all time. Seriously. Because of what movies that I like. Because I'm not into. I'm not a cinephile.

[B]

I should have. I should have a less honest reaction to that.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm not into movies that make you think. I like movies that. As entertaining and then I like to watch over and over and over again. Like, my top 10 movies of all time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Are not.

[B]

Because you can't have a movie the top 10 that had Joey Fatone in it.

[A]

Because. Can I just.

[B]

You can't do that.

[A]

Because. Can I be honest with you? Please be. I don't have like a. I don't have a real. Like. I don't have, like a list like that I've really thought about, but truly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm not even trying to be funny. What? Like movies that move my monkey, Movies that make me go peeling big. Yeah. Are. My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

[B]

Birth of a Nation.

[A]

No, no. See, Little Giants. I love a movie like Little Giants. That doesn't make me go purely because it's about kids, but you know what mean. I mean, but I like the movie Little Giants. My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Rookie of the Year. Ghostbusters. Jesus Christ. I like movies like that. Like, I don't like movies where it's like, you got to understand the plot and this and that. I just want to be entertained. Like, you know, like. Like, I'll watch. You know, Goodfellas is a movie that everybody loves, that I really like.

[B]

Yeah. But, you know, Goodfellas does not belong on the same list as Angels in the Outfield.

[A]

Yeah. Angels in the Outfit. I love it.

[B]

I know you would.

[A]

Wedding Crashers. Old school.

[B]

Well, those are good, funny movies.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah. But My Big Freck Wedding is a very funny, good movie.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know if you could put a top 10 all time. I mean, it's a tough one. Godfather you want to do Drop Dead Fred?

[A]

Problem Child.

[B]

Problem child. Did you like made Manhattan as well?

[A]

I made him in hat and I don't think I've seen. Oh, with JLo. Yes. I like. But I'm not into the. I'm not into really the chick flick ones. The only chick flick that I really like was the movie Little Women.

[B]

Little Women, Yeah.

[A]

I like the Little Women.

[B]

Yeah, you're kind of.

[A]

You.

[B]

You'll sit down by yourself with a tub of ice cream and watch Mystic Pizz.

[A]

Well, I used to watch when I used to sleep by my Aunt Janet's house. Shout out, Aunt Janet. You know, we used to watch every Friday night. Cause she would come, we would go over her house. Pretty Woman. I love of course, Pretty Woman. But you ever see the movie Anne of Green Gables? No, I love Anne of Green Gables.

[B]

Cause I want you.

[A]

But Pretty Woman was big. I love Pretty Woman because make absolutely no mistake, I mean, look at how gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous Richard Gere is.

[B]

I mean. Yeah, I mean, you know what it is about what's her name?

[A]

Julia Roberts.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sorry. That's how, you know I'm getting old. What's her name? Julia. How do you forget the thing about Julia Roberts? She's held up really well.

[A]

Gorgeous.

[B]

She still looks really good.

[A]

A League of Their Own.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love that movie. I put that in that category. Yeah.

[B]

100 Chrissy's top 10 is a very funny topic.

[A]

It's a very fun I. But it's the same as my brother's. It's genuine though. Yeah, it's genuine.

[B]

Well, the thing is it goes well with bowling.

[A]

Well, that's the thing is because you can only go so far when you see a picture of what my father looks like, you have to understand that I am am. I am half his DNA.

[B]

You got prayed out of special needs.

[A]

What it is. But it's not going to work 100%. There are some special needs things that

[B]

have lingered, some traits that I bite

[A]

my fingernails, I bite my toenails, I eat my boogers. And I think my Big Fat Creek wedding is in my top 10.

[B]

You're a special, special breed guys.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Did we make a clip? We got to make a clip of the. Did we make a clip that he's a German and then the Jew inside?

[A]

Yeah, we stuff that. Did we post that one?

[B]

We haven't posted it yet. Okay, we'll post it now. We got to post that because that's real funny. But me and Chris did text and I just want to feed The Patreon a little bit.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

When Chrissy. Chrissy messaged me a picture of Lindsay Tarts and he said, cuz, you want to come over? So Chrissy was way off the beam with sweets today.

[A]

And let me tell you what, this weekend. Yeah. And you know, it was a special edition of those Lindsay Tarts. Those were the Nutella Lindsay Tarts from Rudy's Bakery in Ridgewood. My mother came up to my home for the weekend because it was her birthday. Shout out, my ma. Shout out, Happy 70th birthday, Ma.

[B]

Holy mackerel. Is it her birthday?

[A]

And was. Yes. Where's her birthday? 2444. And I got her a David Yurman ring because she said the cleaning lady stole her David Yurman ring like in 2003. So I replaced it this year. Yeah.

[B]

Oh no, that's. That's a, that's a, that's a phase women get to when they start. They start thinking that the cleaning ladies are stealing all their stuff.

[A]

She said, well, I think that.

[B]

Because I think it was Eileen.

[A]

It might have been Eileen.

[B]

I think it was Eileen. I think Eileen snuck up there and took the ring.

[A]

Yeah. She said the cleaning lady stole it. And we've been hearing the story for years. So I got her a nice David Yurman ring. And then Jasmine came with me and she tried it on. And then Jasmine was started. And then of course Jasmine starts going how smooth and silky the David Yurman rings are and how her engagement ring does. Hurts her finger a little bit. And I'm like, so now are you saying that you want a David Yurman ring? Because it's either my mother or you. And I picked my mother.

[B]

Right. So then he sends me that, he goes. And then true to form, true to brand, I got a text this morning at 7:25am where we were gonna figure out what our episode was gonna be about today. And that's what we figured it and

[A]

we figured out a good one. We're gon talk about the New York Knicks. Cause do you know where the term knickerbocker comes from?

[B]

I don't know. But listen, right now I just want to say shout out to my. To the knickers right now.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

They're playing.

[A]

Well, New York knickers babies.

[B]

The knickers are doing it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they're going to the finals. And so we're going to talk a little bit about the history of the New York Knicks. The Knicks.

[A]

New York Knicks.

[B]

Not knickers.

[A]

No, the Nick. The New York Knickerbockers. The term Knickerbocker. 1809. A guy who grew up around here, Washington Irving. Yeah, the guy, Washington Irving wrote the Legend of Sleepy Hollow. He came up with the term Knickerbocker. He had. It was a pseudonym for a character he created, Diedrich Knickerbocker, who used to wear Knickerbocker. It was a type of pants they used to wear. And then the name stuck around, stuck on New Yorkers. And then when the Knickerbocker Knicks, you know, became a franchise, they picked Father Knickerbocker, the New York Knicks. And I just think that, you know, the New York Knicks. Here's the thing, here's the thing about. First of all, this New York Knicks team is playing with a certain magic. You know, people keep talking about how the Western Conference is much better than Eastern Conference. And I do agree it is much better than the Eastern Conference. But when you're winning closeout games by 51, 30 and 37 against three different playoff NBA Eastern Conference teams, you're playing with a certain magic. You know, who is within each and every one of their cells and hearts, even the Muslim ones. And that's Jesus Christ.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Jesus Christ is doing something for this city. What I honestly believe is that I've been saying it week after week after week, how we are going into a crusade. I think Jesus Christ is backing the Knicks to take down Mamdani.

[B]

And I mean, that's a good way

[A]

to look at it. Yeah.

[B]

I don't understand why more people have. Haven't. Haven't understood that. That's what's happening to me.

[A]

It's Jesus versus Mom.

[B]

Donnie. It's Jesus first, Bob. Dy. It's always Jesus first.

[A]

Because I know Mom Donnie is going to Knicks games and sitting in Section 300, but he's not. Doesn't really know anything about basketball. He's a fair weather fan. He's not a real sports fan. No, he has nothing. He doesn't care about the Knicks. He'd be in the section 300 if the Nets were there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's a big red flag to me. As I've said before time and time again, if you are from New York City, any of the five boroughs or Long island or Westchester area, and you are an adult and you don't have special needs, it is not okay with me if you're a fan of the Brooklyn Nets because it signifies two things to me. Either, A, you have special needs and then that is okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

B, you don't know anything about sports or Three, you're a Hasidic Jew.

[B]

That is true. So don't you go to those games?

[A]

Yeah. Or if you're a child, if you're under the age of 21 and you're a Brooklyn Nets fan, born New York City. I get it. Nets have been here. Maybe that's your team. You grew up in Brooklyn. I get it. But I'm talking about an adult, a consenting, voting adult. If you are a Brooklyn Nets fan and you're from New York City and not New Jersey, I don't. I actually would like you to stay away from me. Just because I only want to be around people who know sports. Right. Right now. Because the Knicks are in the finals and I don't want to waste time talking to an adult male who's going to ask me, you know, so does that mean. So are the Knicks in the Finals now? Or, like, do they. Who do they still have to play? I don't want to deal with those guys right now. I'll deal with you in the summer. But right now I want to deal with only people who can really talk sports.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's what I want. I've had to. I have to deal with too many guys in our career, in our careers that want to make believe they know about sports. And they've never. They're not. The man in the arena. Okay. I was in the Division 3 arena.

[B]

Yeah. You were the Division 3 arena. I was in the Division 1 walk on arena.

[A]

It's what it is. Okay? So I don't want to hear from Knicks fan.

[B]

The failed walk on arena.

[A]

Yeah. And I. I just don't want to hear from the fair weather. Okay, here's the thing. As I've been. I've been a Knicks fan. The first game I ever went to was January of 1994 when my father bought tickets. But he probably gambled and stole tickets. But my father got us almost courtside at the Knicks game, and it was Shaquille o' Neal and Penny Hardaway's Orlando Magic versus Patrick Ewing's Knicks. And the Knicks beat the Magic. I think they went to the. No, the Knicks went to the finals that year. Magic went to the finals next year, but they beat Shaquille o' Neal's Knicks. And I've been not a Fairweather fan, a for Realsies fan every year since then. The Knicks have won something like 35 playoff games since Jalen Brunson's come onto the team in 2022. They only won seven from 2003 to 2022. And I was rooting for them every. I was rooting for them when they had Clee Anthony early.

[B]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

When they had Thomas. Yes, when they had Kurt Thomas. Kurt Thomas. Tim Thomas. Tim Thomas. I like. I see Tim Thomas at the games. I see him.

[B]

He was Villanova too, right?

[A]

Yeah. When they. When they had all these guys. He fit Horn, Cole Aldrich. Whoa.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, they had Rich. Real stinkers. Yeah. Okay. I mean, Michael Sweetney. I mean, these are the players these guys drafted.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, so they were drafting idiots. Well, Chris Duhan. Like, I still had.

[B]

Remember Chris.

[A]

I've been. I was there for it all.

[B]

Charlie Ward.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wasn't.

[A]

I. You know, I didn't just come out of nowhere.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've been there. I was there from a start of Meyer. Mari Stone, before he was a jail.

[B]

Because how come you got the. Here's Johnny going on right now?

[A]

Because David Lee. I was there for David Lee when he was one of their best players.

[B]

Yeah. Wow, that was really rough. He was an all star one year.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, on come was. Yeah, I was there for these players.

[B]

Well, I was there and then I left.

[A]

Okay. Harrington, do you remember? I was there for a fella. Harrison. Yeah. So I don't want to hear Greg Odin. Yeah. So I don't want to hear from any of these. When I was there when they drafted Ginari G. When they drafted some sauce monkey ladder 14. I mean, come on, guy. I was there. People don't even remember Zach Randolph. I was there. Nate Robinson. Robinson. I love Nate Robinson, but, I mean, these teams weren't good. They were finished. They won 17 games one year. I was there every game.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, it was tough watching the games, rooting for them. Mike d'. Antoni.

[B]

Yeah, it was. It was tough for a little while.

[A]

And now we're here.

[B]

It started really, you know, after the. The. After the Pat riley. Knicks.

[A]

Yeah, 1994 Knicks.

[B]

So what Pat Riley did was he got a bunch of guys from at the time, the CBA or from wherever. They all took steroids and he got him on the team and they just were told to hit Michael Jordan. So that was a good squad. John Starks, he was working as in

[A]

the grocery store in Oklahoma. Yeah.

[B]

Anthony Mason was robbing drug dealers. I don't know what he was doing.

[A]

Anthony Mason, a big boy.

[B]

Yeah. Charles Oakley should have been in the wwe.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And that was a great squad. And Mark Jackson, I mean, the kid just ran like he wasn't an athlete.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that was a great squad. That was a Fun squad. There was Larry Johnson on steroids. You know, everyone had one kidney back then. Everyone looked like he. Yeah, it was a great era. And then it just fell apart after that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I remember when it started like it was Kiki Vandway.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Rolando Blackman. When they were just getting every washed up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like Star.

[A]

Cuz this is how crazy it's been. This is how crazy it's been. You the, the last time the Knicks won the NBA championship. You and Jesse weren't even alive. And you're old kids.

[B]

Yeah, we were.

[A]

Well, 1973.

[B]

Yeah. We weren't alive.

[A]

You weren't alive. Well, you weren't alive yet, Jesse. Right. 1973, we were.

[B]

We weren't alive. Chrissy, let me tell you something. I took an ultra, one of these sleep ultras. They sent it to us. This thing knocked me out. But before I got knocked out, I don't know if it's the feanine or whatever in there, but you get. I was feeling a tingle down my back. Like it was. I felt a nice tingle because these

[A]

melatonin gummies, I mean they suck. Okay. The melatonin gone to me, they suck, they overdose. Like it's just a way overdosed. And it's just, you know, the, the counter meds like zquil, all that annoying. I'm telling you dude, these ultra new sleep pouches are the complete game changer. The idea behind this is genius. Everyone uses the pouches for increased focus and energy. But Ultra took that idea and flipped it. They flipped the script. Cuz they got magnesium, they got chamomile, passion flower, lemon balm extracts that L Theanone reduces the anxious thoughts. Well, you know, you noticed you weren't as anxious.

[B]

Dude, I'm telling you, I've tried all those things. And I mean I sleep well, I don't got a problem sleeping. But I just popped one because I wanted to test it. The only thing is you gotta remember

[A]

to take it out. Yeah.

[B]

Because you know, you get so. You get so drowsy. And I took it out, but it made me very relaxed and it really did work. And I also been taking the ultras during the day, you know, and they do it really makes you feel sharp and focused.

[A]

You're an ultra, kid. I'm a pouch kid. You're a pouch. I have two ultras right here. Yeah, you love Ultra. No next morning grogginess. No more dependency on the sleep aids right now. Ultra sleep pouched pouches deliver better deeper sleep with properly dosed and natural Ingredients. New customers can use the Code Hyenas H Y E N A s to get 15% [e-mail] that's takeultra.com for 15% off with code HYENAS. After your purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you. Shopify.

[B]

Cha ching.

[A]

I love Shopify. That's what we use here at this potty wadi. Listen, okay? It's the number one e commerce platform, okay?

[B]

That's all you need to know, really.

[A]

Shopify. Yeah, that's what it is. Because you're gonna get. It's like we got a marketing team behind us. People always say, I see you everywhere. Who's your marketer? I say Shopify. Yeah, that's what it is.

[B]

It's what it is. You can get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand styles.

[A]

Here's the thing. Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. Cause Shopify is awesome. Okay, look, here's the thing. You're saying to yourself, oh, but what if people haven't heard about my brand? That's okay. Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to run email and social media campaigns. Thank you, Shopify. Now, Jesse, how can people get a discount? Yeah. Start your business today with the industry's best business partner, Shopify and start hearing. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com hyenas go to shopify.com hyenas that's shopify.com hyenas yeah, for

[B]

a while the Knicks were like the Statue of Liberty. They were just like, give us your. Your poor.

[A]

Yes, old, you're injured.

[B]

Like they were just taking every. Even. Even when they got hardaway, Right, Sure. Even when they got hardaway. It was like he, he had just like had almost a career. Yeah, he. Well, but he had like a career ending injury.

[A]

I mean we got Carmelo Anthony, we got Jeremy Lynn and, and they were, there's, these were bright spots, but they didn't, you know, they never won. And here's the.

[B]

I meant, I meant Stoudemire. Sorry.

[A]

And here's the credit I'll give is. I'll say Timothee Chalamet. That guy. That kid's been a fan from the beginning too. Since before he's famous. Kid has proof. I like, I respect Timothy Chalamet. I even Respect. Chalamet and Jenner at the games. They're humanizing them. They look like a regular couple. They look. It's. I have zero issues issue with those major celebrities because Ben Stiller, Timothy, they were all there when the Knicks were losing.

[B]

I like to see that. The only people that I miss is Woody. And.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Soon Yi. I like to see her sitting on his lap. I'd like to see those. I like to see.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know if they're not letting Woody in or what's going on. I mean, it used to be a

[B]

time when he was watching her because he was the legal guardian.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That she would sit on his lap. And I missed those days.

[A]

Now, you break it down like this, because I have a hunch that the Knicks are going to play the San Antonio spurs again. Yeah. So. Because they played them in 1999. Okay. And now. And they lost. And they lost to the finals four games to one. There's the short.

[B]

That was the lockout year.

[A]

That was the lockout year, the short season. And who did the. Who did. Who did the San Antonio spurs have? Who were their best players? Tim Duncan, David Robinson. What was their nickname? The Twin Towers. Then what happens? 2001, Islam gets to us. They just. They just hit us. They hit us with a quick hit. But we fucking rebuilt. We rebuild the Freedom Tower. Who was that? Victor Wembanyah. He's one tower. There were two. Now there's one same team. But this time we know what's coming.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This time the Knicks know how to.

[B]

Wait. That makes us Islam, because we're going to knock down the tower.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. We've.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, wait. Oh, yeah. Because that hasn't happened. I'm just saying the two rebuilt. We rebuilt, but we didn't. That doesn't make sense because the towers are still. We're still standing.

[A]

Yeah, right. But I'm just saying, two years later, what happened was, is the Knicks, you know, the. The Twin Towers. That's where bin Laden got the idea. He said the Twin Towers just beat the twin.

[B]

You know, I'm going to knock him down.

[A]

I'm going to knock him down. So now we got Wembanyah, the one freedom, the one guy. And then I believe that the Knicks are going to be able to. We know how to figure this out. We know how to combat. To me, to me, Wenbigna is that he. Even though he's not Islamic at all. At all. I just think that it's. It's us. It's Christianity. Versus wait.

[B]

So I think I get. I get your analogy. What you're basically saying with the twin tower analogy and the two and. And Duncan and Robinson and them being the twin towers get knocked down. The freedom. Well, you're basically saying is the jews orchestrated this whole thing for money.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Insurance scam.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Yeah, they got. They fixed it.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

That's what you get to. That's what I'm saying.

[A]

And that' what I'm saying. And I'm just saying that I think that this is their year, the Knicks. I think that the Knicks are playing with a conviction and a magic that has to happen for teams to win the NBA championship. And I think they're playing with it. I think that they're well rested. I believe you have the most well rested team. You are right now playing as the best team in the NBA. I really believe for the New York Knicks, it's now or never. I think do. And I think they're going to go in with that energy. It's now or never. We beat the spurs, we beat the thunder, We. We bring the city a title never, or we're going to have to wait another 50 years.

[B]

Yeah. I haven't seen this much excitement for the Knicks since Ling sanity. Yeah, this is. Remind me of Ling sanity. And you know, that's a sad. That's a sad statement to say that there hasn't been something to be excited about since Ling sanity. Linsanity, which was just a Chinese kid from Harvard who had a couple games where he scored 21 points.

[A]

Yeah. And I did a comedy bit about wearing a Jeremy lin jersey. And a lot of people and I said, you know, I'm on Chinese peptides. I might as well wear Chinese people's jerseys. And I said, china's gonna take over this. Want the Chinese to know that I support them. And then a lot of people are commenting, Jeremy Lin is from Taiwan. And I'm saying, what's the difference? You know, you expect a kid who looks like me to know that or care.

[B]

Yeah. Right.

[A]

Because the truth is. The truth is that. And the reason why I make that as a joke, obviously, I know the difference. I know the problems. But the truth is, all that stuff only goes one way. Because if you guess I was, you know, Italian, but I tell you, I'm German, it doesn't matter to the other races. But if we got. I got to know every fricking corner of Asia, which every one of these fucking people are from.

[B]

Well, technically, they are Chinese.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

They. Technically. I mean, there's. They're not Taiwanese. I mean, they're Chinese. And I presidency, if you're watching this, it's one, two. Two. Two people, one country. What is it? Yeah, I mean, they are Chinese. They speak Mandarin. They're Chinese people. I think Taiwan should totally be unified with China. Now. Can you get your bots to boost our numbers? Just shoot them over this way. Because we're pro Chinese and we're pro Chinese. Nick. Nick renamed this LeBron James. Yeah, we are LeBron James. We're all for China.

[A]

Now, here's the thing. Here. Here's what it is about the New York Knicks. Here's where I think just the city. Because a lot of people think, what is it about New York? Why is New York so romanticized? Well, I can tell you it has deep root in its history. So we were a Dutch colony. Freaky deaky Dutch. You know that? Yeah, a lot of. Even the names. Brooklyn, the Bronx, Staten Island. These are all Dutch names. The British, British only we. We were owned by the Dutch for about 50 years. And then the British took Flatbush. Flatbush?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Brooklyn, Braecklan. So they. They took. You know, it was called New Amsterdam before it was called New York. And the thing is about the Dutch, the difference is, is every other country back in the 1600s when the Dutch owned us, every other country, even every other colony, 13 colonies that the British owned, they were all about. They were. They did not, uh. They all about segregation because they felt they had to be. They. They weren't. They did not. What is it. What do you call it when you're allowed to practice freedom of religion?

[B]

What are they?

[A]

What's the term for that?

[B]

Freedom of religion?

[A]

No, no, but. But there's. But there's another term for it where. It's where they, like, they just allow you to do whatever you want. Like they kind of. Freedom.

[B]

Freedom.

[A]

Yeah, but there's another.

[B]

Civil liberties. No, there's inalienable rights.

[A]

There's another word for.

[B]

Let me.

[A]

Let me. Let me ask chat. There's another word for.

[B]

For it. Freedom. Freedom.

[A]

Yeah. What. What do you call it, hon? What do you call it when, you know, like in. In Dutch, you know, when the Dutch and the British both own New York, the Dutch had a policy where they would just let everybody be who they wanted to be, practice freedom of religion and blah, blah, blah, blah, and just be free. And the British didn't. What's the term for that. Let's see what. Let's see what Chad says, because, you know, I'm blanking here, but there's a term for different. Freedom of religious tolerance. They had. They allowed religious tolerance. They were tolerant.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where the Dutch were very tolerant, you could do whatever you want to do. The British were not tolerant because they said, there's no way we can be tolerant because either we have to have all have one identity. To fight the Spanish, to fight the Dutch, to fight the Native Americans, we all have to be one. We can't tolerate anything else because it's for our safety. Where the Dutch didn't look at it that way, but because the thing about the Dutch, Very interesting, the thing. The fundamental difference between the Dutch and every other European country at that time was land rights. So England was like, this is the land of England. You're a peasant on the land, you'll always be a peasant on the land. They were still feudal. Feudal. There is no other way. Where the Dutch had a saying. They said, God made the planet. The Dutch made Holland. Because what the Dutch did is created a system. All that land you see in Amsterdam and Holland, 80% of it, the Dutch made it. It was just water. That whole country was water. So they started building up their own land through different dikes and, you know, canals. Very handy. So they did all that. They did dams and they made all this land. So for the Dutch mindset was, well, we all own the land. We're all a part of this. We're all tolerant of each other. We made the land. And so you won't always have to be a peasant. You help build this land so you can have some land and you can have some money. And they took these ideas and they put it all into New Amsterdam in the 1600s. And that wasn't. That was a. This whole idea of religious tolerance or tolerance of anybody. You have to understand, 1640s New Amsterdam, aka New York City, they had gays, they had blacks, they had Native Americans, they had whites, they had Chinese. No other colony had that. It was just, the whites are here, the slaves are here, the Native Americans are over there, and nobody else is coming in but these kids. The only reason why they had a wall up on Wall street for the Dutch was to keep the British out, because the British was trying to come in with their intolerance. And the Dutch are like, we don't want that. We want everybody to be free here. This whole bohemian idea of New York City, which has spread across the whole world, it's got A very specific reason why it happened. That's what it is. And look at even our New York Knicks team. We got a little bit of everything. You don't know what nationality Josh Hart is. He could be Latino, he could be Dominican. He's half black. He white. Jalen Brunson, I think he's got a white mother. Carl Anthony Towns is gay. We got. Right. We got, you know, OG Anobi.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

African kid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We got all these players. Is he a muzzy sham? You don't know Shammy could be Mazdao.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Tyler Cole, the white kid. Tyler is at the end of the bench. He's a white kid with floppy hair. Looks like number seven had super cuts. Yeah. You know, so you don't know. So this, this tolerance that we have for New York City and the freaky deaky Dutch that they brought to us, even though we are mostly a British colony and were for the majority of our time. And it's called New York, not New Amsterdam. It's kind of the way Mike Brown, the head coach of the New York Knicks, inherited Thibodeau's team. And even though Mike Brown did do some good coaching, got to give the kid credit. Better coaching, better coaching. You have to give the kid credit. He inherited an already great team. Same thing as the British, New York. They inherited an already idealistic. The idea of the Dutch, of this bohemian attitude, dude, this New York City, it's different than every other colony still. It's different than every other city. There's a fundamental reason for that. If the New. If the Dutch didn't have New Amsterdam, because that's the only one they had in the thirteen colonies. If they didn't have that, New York would be another city. It'd be like, you know, Boston and all these cities are great, but it's not New York.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The reason why New York is New York is because of the Dutch. Dutch.

[B]

So the Dutch. The Dutch were the first, like, capitalist people, too.

[A]

They created the stock market.

[B]

They created the stock market. Amsterdam was like the first. First, like financial capital of Europe.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And the. It was the Dutch. The. The Dutch West India Company.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That came over. That's. Henry Hudson worked for them. And so they're the ones that came and founded New Netherland. And New Amsterdam was in New Netherland. They tried to. And then what happened was the British and French just smacked them around and took it from them.

[A]

They took it from them. And what it is, it's what it is because the Dutch. Here's the thing, too, is The Dutch themselves, they had an army. All these other. But the Dutch, really, the West Indies, the Dutch East India Company, you have to understand, there were all these companies that had their own armies. Like Peter Stuyvesant comes over as the eventual governor of New York, but he got his leg shot off fighting for a company to try to take over, you know, somewhere in the Caribbean. It wasn't like this nationalistic, like we are the Dutch army. It was all these. It was, it was if like Tesla had its own, or Amazon had their own army.

[B]

They were like the first international conglomerates. They were like. It was like multinationals.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

They had two. Right. It was the Dutch East India Company and the Dutch West India Company. And both went those ways. And they said, let's get your stuff. Yeah, they like to get stuff.

[A]

It's what it is. Because you. I mean, it's just the way it always was. Like Christopher Columbus, he sailed for the Spanish, but the kid was Italian. Henry Hudson, he sailed for the Dutch, but the kid was English.

[B]

Yeah. And Americano fiscal variant.

[A]

Verrazano. Yeah, yeah. Do you know the first America? Vespucci.

[B]

No, I'm talking about Verrazano.

[A]

Oh, Giovanni de Versa.

[B]

No, Giovanni de Verv. Do you know that the first European kid that touched down here Was Italian?

[A]

Was Italian.

[B]

He sailed for the French king.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he was an Italian kid, but he was actually the first one before the Dutch.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And then he got a bridge named after him.

[A]

Yeah, the Verrazano Bridge.

[B]

Yeah. That made it all the way to the movies.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where a kid jumped off.

[A]

Jumped off Saturday Night Fever. Now, now, of course, there's thousands of years of history before the Dutch or the British or the Spanish or whomever came here, you know, the Lenape, Native Americans and all those kids, right? And people say that they're, you know. Oh, that they were. How stupid could they be? They sold the island Manhattan, famously for $24. But that ain't really entirely true, guys.

[B]

That was big money back then.

[A]

That was big. Number one, you adjust that for inflation, you put that in the stock market, you put that in a Vanguard account, you got nice cash, right?

[B]

Now, cuz If I had $24 back in the day, I could go to Pino's Pizzeria.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I could get myself a pie for the friends and we could all get Italian ices.

[A]

Hey, let me ask you, if $24 in 1653, and I put that in the stock market and you adjust for inflation in 2026, how much is that? $24. Let's see what. Let's see what Chad says. How much is that? $24. If you're asking 2. Oh, just inflation, it would be $24 in 1653. Would roughly equal somewhere around 1200-2500 in 2026. Now, if you just invested in stocks, that comes out to roughly 2 trillion to $20 trillion. I mean.

[B]

I mean, it's a lot of money.

[A]

You'd have 2 trillion. She got it for 2 trillion.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, if they didn't, if they had better immune systems, the kids would be rich.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, so they got two trill. But the thing is, also, they didn't just sell it for $24. It was a bartering system back then. They understood that they didn't really have property rights. Well, no, it was that they wanted the Dutch's protection. They wanted the protection from the Dutch. So they said, okay, we'll protect you. And it's just basically, you know, we're going to, you know, give it to you for 24 hours. But really, we want your guns. It's understood that. So that's what it was really about. They didn't. The Lenape, Native Americans didn't look at land for sale. They were like, this is of the earth. You don't own this. Mother. Mother Nature owns it. Whoever owns it, the sun God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So the Dutch didn't look at it that way, because the Dutch make absolutely no mistake. The Dutch, in their wooden shoes, those kids know how to make money. They don't get enough credit. But as you said, the stock market. That's why the stock market is on Wall Street. The Dutch put it there.

[B]

Yeah, they were the first capitalists. They were really the first. They ran the first, and they exploded and they became a power.

[A]

Power.

[B]

And they. They sent the. They had those two big companies. They had stocks.

[A]

You ever have a Dutch pancake?

[B]

And they tried to control the slave market as well.

[A]

You have a Dutch pancake?

[B]

Never had a Dutch pancake. I'd give it a few Dutch ovens.

[A]

I was gonna say, well, a Dutch pancake is yummy, yummy in your tummy.

[B]

What is a Dutch pancake?

[A]

It's a little pancake, and they put, like, apples on it and think, yeah, that's a Dutch pancake. You can make. You can make a Dutch baby pancake.

[B]

Yeah, that looks like a crepe to me.

[A]

And they're very, very good. Yeah, Dutch pancakes are yumsicles.

[B]

So is that just not a crepe?

[A]

I mean, I don't know. It's a Dutch pancake. When I went to Amsterdam, I got Dutch pancakes every day for breakfast and lunch.

[B]

Dutch are tall kids.

[A]

They're tall kids. And let me tell you something Dutch women will get.

[B]

They're so beautiful.

[A]

They're gorgeous. And everyone's on a bicycle.

[B]

Everyone likes to bike around there.

[A]

They're all about health as well. They rent the bicycles. They're big into rent, not property owning. I like the Dutch mindset. Yeah, I like the Dutch mindset where everything. It's capitalism, of course, but they're not into. You have to own everything. You have to. They're just like, why don't you invest your money a little bit and try not to spend too much and I will absolutely masturbate the Dutch women. Jesse's got some dutch. He's pulled up and it's. It's. Yeah, they're gorgeous.

[B]

Yeah, they're, you know, they're. They're.

[A]

They have no fumes.

[B]

No, no fumes.

[A]

Cuz. You know me and you know I know when you got an erection and when you don't, you.

[B]

I somehow you do have some sort of sixth sense of.

[A]

I always know, cuz. And today you came in rock and I said, what did you do in the car? What did you do on the test on the way over here? He said, cause I took a blue chair.

[B]

I don't like. I. When I don't have a blue chair, I feel like I'm not strapped. I like to stay armed.

[A]

I like to stay on. In this New York city that we live in, you always got to stay on. That's why I walk down Broadway with a blue chew boner.

[B]

BCB Blue chew gold. Most e. D meds only focus on blood flow. But here's the thing, guys. Blue chew gold goes further by combining two ingredients for blood flow with two for mental arousal and connection. So you're not just physically ready. You're actually in the mood, cuz.

[A]

And we've got a special deal for the listeners right now. When you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for free with promo code hyenas. That's promo code hyenas. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank bluechew for sponsoring the podcast. And they could say they're allowed to. We were on I was on a canal cruise with James mattern when we did shows in new Amsterdam. And the boat driver, for no reason at all, shout out Jan told us that the white people in his country are free to say the n Word, because it has no meaning. It's just. That's an American thing. So he was just letting the N word slip, and he's laughing about it and just sitting there silently with our heads.

[B]

I don't understand how he came to that conclusion.

[A]

He was like, do you know what? Something about the Dutch. And he was like, you know, we can say the N word. It doesn't make. It has no. You know, we didn't treat our black people the way you treated our black people. So they. Black people will last laugh at that here. And I was like, well, that's not. I don't want you to test it.

[B]

You're making the Dutch sound, like, very, like, Quakerish. Were they, like, super cool? Because that's not the impression I got. I thought that they were, like, super, like, into the slave trade and all that.

[A]

Well, they were at some point, but then they very quickly got rid of slaves. And New Amsterdam. I told you New Amsterdam had free African American, like, free Africans all over that city.

[B]

So they. So they. They got cool.

[A]

They got cool.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they weren't. You know, they were involved. They were involved a little bit, I'm sure. I mean, every. The thing is, everybody dipped in.

[B]

Everyone dipped in.

[A]

Everyone dipped in back. Even. Even the African countries dipped.

[B]

Everyone was doing African countries. Traded, Sold other Africans. Yeah. The Dutch slave traders transported over 1.6 million people across the Atlantic and Indian Oceans between 1596 and 1829. They shipped 600,000 enslaved Africans.

[A]

Yeah, And a big part. That's why, like, guys like Peter Stuyvesant, who we mentioned earlier, who was the. Who was the governor of. Of New York, a lot of these guys were going down to these, you know, Caribbean countries because they were trying to get. They were getting slaves, and they were fighting wars. I mean, Stuyvesant got his leg shot off.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, the peg leg. Peter Stuyvesant. Stuyvesant High School. The kid got his leg shot off in a war, and most people would have died. The kid didn't die. And then most people, if you get a peg leg, you can just retire in Dutch society. But the kids said, now I'm going to New York.

[B]

Going to New York to try to make it in the big city with bright lights.

[A]

It's bright lights. Yeah. He put on his walking shoes, on his peg leg, and he just walked.

[B]

Now, the Dutch still have some. They have some stuff in the Caribbean still. Oh, yeah, right. They got Aruba. Yeah, they got Aruba. What do they still got?

[A]

They got Aruba is a Bit Aruba is the most well known one, right. I mean, when you go to Aruba, you make absolutely no mistake. You're in the Netherlands.

[B]

You're in the Netherlands, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You get. They got six islands in Lesser Antilles.

[A]

Oh, Curacao, Aruba.

[B]

They got Aruba, Caraco and S. St. Martin. It's all, It's. It's all. Well. Oh, there's a Dutch side and a French side of St. Martin that I know. Yeah, the Dutch side of French side.

[A]

Now the Dutch. Now the Dutch are kids, right now. Have you ever been to Amsterdam?

[B]

I've been to Amsterdam. I was on TV in the Netherlands. Wow. I did a TV show called Casper and Lars.

[A]

Really like doing stand up.

[B]

Stand up.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

In. In. In English for the, for the. For the Dutch people.

[A]

And did you like it?

[B]

I did like it. It was a long time ago. I toured. We toured all over the Netherlands. It was fun. Yeah, they're Scandinavian kids, you know.

[A]

It's something I heard the other day and it made me laugh because it is true. And I never thought of it. This guy was like, you know, it's. I want. He wants to stop using the term expats because he, he has a good point. He's like, expats are just. They're immigrants, but they're white people, right? Like white people are expats and, and immigrants are black and Spanish. Pretty. Yeah, it is. I mean that's. I mean, there's truth to that.

[B]

Truth to that.

[A]

Yeah, that is very funny that whites just created a new term.

[B]

Yeah, they're just called that. We're just expats.

[A]

But they are. They are white guys living in China

[B]

or Mexico or whatever they are.

[A]

But they're expats.

[B]

Community of expats.

[A]

So if we lived in Amsterdam, we'd be expats. Nick live there, he'd be an immigrant. It's pretty funny, no? Yeah, it's pretty funny how white guys bend the rules.

[B]

They bend the rules because they made the rules. What it is when you make the rules, you can bend the rules.

[A]

It's what it is now. Cuz it's fascinating the history of New York City, what we're gonna do. And I'm not gonna take no for an answer. Cause the summer's coming up and I already have it locked in. We're gonna go on a walking tour of the Dutch history of New York City.

[B]

I like it.

[A]

Even the New York Knickerbockers colors, the orange and blue. Do you know that comes from the Dutch flag? Because the flag of New York City is what, Blue, white and orange. Why does it come from that? Because the Dutch are black. Yes, that's what it is. So the New York Knickerbockers picked those colors because the Dutch. So I want to see people in Amsterdam watching. If there is a team to root for for the people of Amsterdam, it has to be the New York Knicks.

[B]

Yeah. Because we were you. And you should know also that the, the Knickerbockers as the name of the team was just picked out of a hat. They just said let's go with it and they thought it was cool.

[A]

Do we know what any of the other options were?

[B]

Yeah, I think it was. You had the Italian mafia. Yeah. The Irish kids from New Orleans, west side. I think you, we, we could have called it the, the, the Decepticons, the Autobots.

[A]

Yeah. The Warriors.

[B]

I think the Hasidic Jews was one of them.

[A]

Wait, hold on, let me ask.

[B]

I think the Jamaican weed spot was another name for the team.

[A]

Chazzy baby. What? What? Hold on, hold on, hold on. You know what I call, you know what I call. You know what I named? Chat. My Chat. GPT. Chad Palminteri. So wait, hold on. Chat. Palm and Terry, let me ask you a question. The New York Knickerbockers, that was the team that, you know, that was the team that. Oh, wait, hold on. Chat. Chat Palminteri. Hi. The new problem. Shut up. Shut your mouth. Something else on your mind? Just listen to me. The New York Knicks, they, they got their name picked out of a hat when they made their franchise. Do we know what any of the other names were in contention other than the New York Knickerbockers?

[B]

So when the team was founded back in 1946, the process wasn't as formal

[A]

as modern fan polls.

[B]

Ned Irish, the founder and some of

[A]

the Madison Square Garden execs.

[B]

Essential Brainstorm. The full name Knickerbockers refers to old Dutch settlers in New York. Those baggy knee lengths trousers. While we don't have a documented list of official runner up names, they likely tossed around some generic New York themed ideas. But ultimately the Knicks just fit and it stuck.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, so the truth is, is they probably. I mean, what could they, what could some of the other options have been back then?

[B]

Yeah, who know, Like I said, I mean, it could have been, could have been anything.

[A]

I mean, Broadway's 1946. 6. Yeah, yeah, the, the Knicks. Yeah, could have been the. Yeah, the Babes, the Dame.

[B]

And then they decided to cut it real Quick. Because Knickerbocker is. They were like, we can't have the name, like, about the pants. And so then let's. Like, let's cut it to Nick. So it became the Knicks pretty quick.

[A]

But it would have been funny if they kept Knickerbockers. And one game a year they played in those pants.

[B]

Yeah, that would have been funny.

[A]

That would have been real funny. I mean, imagine losing to a team that's wearing those pants.

[B]

Yeah. And at the time, they didn't cut it down to knicker because knickers is British for women's panties.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So it's.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Women's panties were close. Too close to something else. That's no bueno.

[A]

Right. Like, you don't. And you wonder why. Because, you know, like, you know, it's. I guess that's too. Why there's not a British team called Fags. Because even though. But you would think that somebody would call their recreational team the Fags and states British just for goof or the cunts. Right.

[B]

Because that's just a greeting for those people.

[A]

Now, speaking of basketball, I'm back. Okay. So I'm going to this thing called Swish House in New York City where they do F45 orange theory style hit workouts. But you're playing basketball. Wow, you're playing. I'm going back to playing basketball.

[B]

This should be really good for your Achilles.

[A]

The other day I took. I used to take a thousand shots a day, but I was with my stepson and we took 100 shots and my Achilles was on fire.

[B]

Yeah, you got to be careful.

[A]

But I'm trying to play because I said, I told you this today. You know, by the time this episode comes out, Maybe it'll be May 28th, something like that. But I. My birthday is August 26th. I'm gonna be 42. I wanna dunk a basketball again. I wanna dunk a basketball again in my life. Because I just wanna say to myself. Cause here's the truth. I started peptides and I've upped the dosage, so the clock's ticking. So I said, I wanna be able to dunk a basketball before the peptides stop working. Because what happens is when these peptides start working is you get what's called the boomerang effect.

[B]

You're like Cinderella.

[A]

You gain about 80 po before I blow out. And then once I blow, because here's the truth about me, is if I blow out again, there's no coming back from that one. That's the last blowout.

[B]

Right?

[A]

So if you see me blowing out again, just know my. My day is up. You've been very good at blowing out, getting down and then blowing out.

[B]

I blow out for a weekend that I'm back. If I just have one day where I eat good, I'm like, I dropped like 10 pounds.

[A]

But make no mistake, today you're blown out fat again.

[B]

Yeah, I just had a horrible weekend. I put on and lose weight very quick.

[A]

Very quick.

[B]

So you're really on borrowed time. You are kind of like Cinderella with the peptide.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So that's my glass slip.

[B]

Glass slip was the peptide. So that's the new goal. Now you're Chrissy dunk again.

[A]

Now I'm Chrissy Dunk again. And I'm. And I. And I've been. Cause here's the thing with me, cuz it's just inside me from practice, but even my stepson, who, let's be honest, hates me, even my stepson, he admitted he was like, well, you got a really smooth jump shot because I see your jumper.

[B]

You got a nice smooth jumper.

[A]

So I just got it in me. Or if I can get a little bit pain free, I mean, I could just bang threes. Yeah, it's just what it is. And I could take nice jump. Are you going?

[B]

Are you going? Are you talking about getting very serious about a rec league? Yeah, I want to play ball. You want to play ball. I get it.

[A]

I want to play ball.

[B]

And are you Chelsea Pierce Chrissy right now?

[A]

Yeah, I want to do Chelsea Pierce Chrissy. And I want to. This thing swish house is very, very interesting for guys that want to play basketball but also work out. There's no defense. Yeah, you just do shooting drills. They do those drills where they pull you back with the rubber band. You do dribbling drills, you do passing drills, and you get in a real nice workout. Then you hit the weights a little bit. It's real nice. And it's just mostly guys, which I

[B]

like because I think if you really work hard, you might be able to make it into ice cubes. Three on three.

[A]

You think I could do that?

[B]

I think you could do that. Or we could just start a podcast league. We got four guys right here.

[A]

Yeah, we could. This is.

[B]

You would be the star of our squad, cuz make no mistake, two of your teammates are over 50.

[A]

It's what it is. And make no mistake, if I want to get a dunk and I can't get there yet, I'll. I'll jump off patty clips butt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'LL do it.

[B]

Yeah. He could be our fifth guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And we just have him setting screens. Jesse would have to just stand. He would always. He'd. He'd be an anchor on defense. And then we could. We could do a fast break them because he would. He can't run, he can't move. He's got one knee.

[A]

It's got one knee. And we're a very inclusive team because from the back, Nick, like, Nick looks like he's in the wnba.

[B]

Yeah. So from the back, you might think we have a girl on our team. Yeah. I mean, it would just, it would really. You'd be the only guy who could play, cuz.

[A]

But you don't.

[B]

You don't even have. You don't have an Achilles tendon.

[A]

That's the only issue is on the right. I got no Achilles tendon. But just like they're doing primary prp. Peptide. What does it PRP stand for again? Peptide Replacement Plasma Replacement therapy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Just like they're doing that with, you know, different players on the Knicks. I'm going to do that. I'm going to pay big bucks to get that done on my Achilles and I'm just going to feel good.

[B]

Do you know that I have not played basketball, I don't think, in even a pickup game or anything. I think literally, literally 20 years.

[A]

When's the last time you shot a ball?

[B]

I think I've shot a few balls, like in driveways or whatever, but only a few times. I'm talking about 20 years. I just, I like when I was 30, I think it was the last time I played when I was like 30 and I was just done. And I haven't done anything with basketball. I don't even know if I remember how to play bad. When's the last time you played basketball? It's been a long.

[A]

Oh, it's been a long time.

[B]

But I almost got suckered back in.

[A]

I joined the Y and they had a rec league on this is a couple years ago. And I, I watched and I was like, no way. They arguing right away. Started throwing elbows, like, I'm out, I'm out here. The one in Park Slope. The one in, in Cobble Hill. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like.

[B]

I was real tempted.

[A]

I was like, oh, I want to get back. I think John Bernthal plays in that one.

[B]

Oh, does he?

[A]

I think so, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I said they were nice to rub up against him. The other Ethan Hawke played there, too. Does Ethan Hawke live in Cobble Hill, you think? Yeah, he does. You ever see him in the streets? Yeah, all the time. Time I saw him at the Y, man. Really? Yeah, yeah. People come up to him. Does it get bombarded? Not really. Yeah, well, at the. Yeah, it was kind of annoying. I, I, I felt bad for him.

[B]

People were taught coming up to him.

[A]

Yeah, he was there and he wanted it. He was shooting around with his kid and then they, you know, they, they like the, they mosey over.

[B]

They mosey over and they're like, hey,

[A]

we're gonna run a five on five.

[B]

You know, you got to get out of here.

[A]

They just tried to big league him because they knew he was famous.

[B]

Oh, so they didn't.

[A]

Oh. They were messing with him in a way that wouldn't have flown with Yanni.

[B]

Would have protected him. I would have protected him. I would have thrown hands for him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Ethan, I'll throw hands for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'll throw hands for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

Yeah, you love it big.

[B]

The whole goal is to get him on this pod.

[A]

We're going to try. And the answer has been a resounding no.

[B]

No. But you haven't even asked.

[A]

Well, the problem is, is. Yeah, I went through some channels and the problem is, first of all, Ethan Hawke's friends with Neil Vardalos. I think the couple of issues working against us, One, you know, he doesn't really know us personally. Two, when he looks at my Instagram, the first pictures be like that.

[B]

My favorite thing. Yeah, that's the first thing on your Instagram while you were trying to get a family friendly.

[A]

Yeah, I took, I remember I took it.

[B]

I took a little travel over your page and we were all waiting to hear whether you got. I just saw this.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And then, and then it, I just said, jesse, I just sent this to you. This is what my boys hit me with this. They said this was all over the Internet today or yesterday on Saturday. I just sent it to the group chat. But somebody made a meme. Yeah. Of that. They took that picture. Yeah. So that's just what people see. This is from only Deng's official. They said making Asian eyes at the baccarat table increases chance of winning by 6% of the picture of me doing the Asian eyes. And Matt Richards sent it to me. Yeah. Matt Richards, yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, it's very funny that we're like, aliens are clearly here and nobody cares. All they care about is roast jokes, rose jokes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's all that the news.

[A]

So that's the thing working against us with Ethan Hawke. But I. Cause I Still have faith. I got faith big. I got faith big. And listen, if it. If it really comes down to we're getting nowhere, I'll put in a call. The big dog, Jimmy Kimmel. I'll put in the call to Big.

[B]

Jk.

[A]

JK Will make things happen.

[B]

Yeah, put in a call.

[A]

We might have to go out to L. A, but I'll.

[B]

I'll put a call to the Big Go Here. Right here.

[A]

But I'll see.

[B]

He was doing some podcasts.

[A]

Who's.

[B]

Well, no, he only did. No, he did Rogan. It's all.

[A]

I don't. Okay. Yeah, he did the big boys.

[B]

Yeah. I don't think he did anything.

[A]

Patreon names Jesse.

[B]

Yes, we do.

[A]

Yeah. Because now that was kind of a fascinating history about. Yeah. About New Amsterdam. Right. Because.

[B]

And now, you know, the history of the name. The New York Knicks is based on the history of New York.

[A]

But isn't that interesting about where the mindset of the Dutch comes from? How they built their own land? Yeah. Because all that land wasn't there and they made it. So then that.

[B]

So they did landfill back then.

[A]

That's all of Holland. Most of Holland is just. Is just landfill.

[B]

Wow, they're smart kids.

[A]

Isn't that wild? And then they kind of made this land come out of water. Yeah. So to them, they look at it as. Then we all own the land, which I think it's just a simple thing that goes a long way.

[B]

Well, but what you don't understand, cuz, is this land is your land.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This land is my land.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

From California to the New York isles. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So the land was made for you and me.

[B]

It was made, not Nick.

[A]

Yeah. All right, here we go. Yeah, that's true. Yes, that is true. We go back to our episode with Radell Ortiz, the first Dominican. The first New York City resident Dominican kid.

[B]

That's contested. I think there's this.

[A]

It's contested, but that's a viral clip. So let's go there.

[B]

Just go for that.

[A]

Go there for my man.

[B]

Right. And listen, the Lenapoli, unfortunately, the. I did a lot of research. It was 70 to 90% of all native Americans just got wiped out by small. It was unfortunately inevitable. That's the problem. They don't. They don't teach you that. But unfortunately, we were just dirty, dirty camps kids.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And the contact with smallpox or the flu, all these diseases. I mean, these people lived in isolation for 13,000 years. We didn't touch each other. So they just didn't have the immunity for These diseases.

[A]

Well, that's because they didn't keep their 6ft distance.

[B]

They didn't keep. They did. Social distance.

[A]

They should have social distance and listened to Fauci.

[B]

But isn't that interesting? They don't tell you that.

[A]

No.

[B]

So, like, when the.

[A]

Doesn't fit the narrative.

[B]

The Europeans did wipe out the rest, but if the viruses hadn't wiped out 90%, I don't think the Europeans would have been that successful. There's a lot of Indians here. Yeah.

[A]

Harder. People make people make narratives work for them. It's just, you know, when you look at all of history, you're like, it's all bullshit.

[B]

And also. Yeah, that one's just kind of hard to wrap your head around that it's like that because that just like, damn, nature's brutal, dude.

[A]

It is pretty funny when you think about it. You know, scientists have already proved that just the planet Earth is like a. Is like a grain of sand on, you know, millions and millions of beaches. And yet, you know, people get, you know, get bent out of shit about stupid shit that happens to them or racism or they didn't make enough money or this or that. And you look at how infinitely small we are and you realize how truly, truly, truly dumb it is for someone to call themselves a king. How truly meaningless it all is.

[B]

Not only are we small in the universe, but everything goes away. Yeah, that's the funny thing is, like, this is all ephemeral.

[A]

So shouldn't you just be happy for as long as you can? Because what's the difference?

[B]

I think you're supposed to be happy.

[A]

And I think you should see the good in everything.

[B]

You should see the good in everything and try to connect to something deeper, deeper sense of peace and understand this is more just like a game. Connection is the real. We're here on a mission to be good to our fellow man, to spread joy, to spread laughs. But material, material things never brings anyone any happiness because you're basically pushing a rapa. We're all Sisyphus. We're just pushing. I mean, you lose it at the end.

[A]

Yeah. So don't worry about.

[B]

Don't cling to it.

[A]

Don't worry about who's going into whose bathroom. Just shut up and enjoy.

[B]

Shut up and enjoy it.

[A]

All right, here we go.

[B]

Unless, you know, unless my daughter's in there, then go. Go in the other bath.

[A]

Patreon.com yeah patreon.com history hyenas. You're going to hear the words that Yanni, we just said cackle out and that's the name of the patreon episode. So patreon.com history, we always read out the winners. Oh, by the way, let's read out.

[B]

We have a winner.

[A]

You did a great. Yani came up with it. Yes, we did. A great idea. Created the poll or did Sabrina the Hyena come up with. Who came up with the poll? Sabrina the Hyena. Shout out. Sabrina the Hyena created a poll to see because we were in a dead tie again last week. Who was the PPW. And we did a poll, and the results are in. 58% to 42%. The winner. My ALS makes for a challenging wank. Call me Glue Gehrig. You are the winner. You'll see your name up at Lights at History. Hyenas is back dot com. You are the ppw, the pseudo.

[B]

And let me just say this real quick. You could just tell by the numbers that it was only over 50%, that we were right in how hard a call that was. That was hard because it was almost split down the middle.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. All right. History is where all the fun happens. You can get your name right out on the pod. Funniest name wins. Okay, here we go. Glue Gun was stuck in depression. Weshy Till H. Okay, hold on. Glue Gun was stuck in depression. Weshi Till HH and Zoloft Candy. Okay.

[B]

Okay. We're happy to help you out.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Kim was depressed that we had an episode come out.

[A]

Then we got Voices Bay tradition bison dinner. Know what that is? I guess that's a place. Traditional bison dinner. Then we got. Couldn't jump this high without my

[B]

okay.

[A]

Christ. Sorry about that. Then we got Michael, Blow a load in my ass or I'll blow up another wedding.

[B]

On the list.

[A]

On the list. There it is. On the list. Then we got these tiny colonial fucks lived in Squeak Estates. Okay. Yeah. Then we got Slippers and smoothies. Father plus Bill plus Sleep. Flipped right in. Slippers and smoothies. He went for it.

[B]

Slippers and smoothies is funny.

[A]

Okay. Then we got. There's Shaquille. There's O'. Neal. There's my bike.

[B]

Ladder 14. Okay.

[A]

Okay. Then we got Ariel Gromak. Chris Fartley.

[B]

Chris Fartley. Chicken finger.

[A]

We got Yanni's big break in Hollywood. Cast as a Cyclops in the Odyssey. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then we got. Why was 10 scared? It was in the middle of 9. 11. Okay. That's probably a recycled joke. Yeah. Then we got Kumade with the heavy glutes. Threw it back so brute. She Bent my. Sorry about that. Okay. Bribble, Christopher Valletta. Neil. Mumtaz, the tarp. Then we got. Got bit by a Leroy Tick that gave me crime disease.

[B]

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[A]

Sorry about that.

[B]

No, it's bad, but it's the best, funniest one.

[A]

We have a light list so far.

[B]

Do you want to load on this, Nick?

[A]

What do you think? What do you think? Yeah, Nick. Okay.

[B]

Nick says yes. It goes on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a borderline. Walked into one. But it's so creative. Maybe we make exceptions.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Instead of lime. It's rhymes.

[A]

Yeah. Sarah McDonald S. Gray. Night of Brock, Connor, Connor Friel, Harry Staines, Leslie. Then we got the homosexual of Hormuz, Jenna Alh. Avery Rappler, Mark Phillips, Pasquale Guarnino. Sauce monkey, for sure. Then we got Official mayor of New Kandahar. Okay. Congratulations to you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Then you got. Please help. I'm trapped in a basement. Call the police. This is not a joke. Okay, okay. Well, you didn't give us any information. We.

[B]

We can't help you.

[A]

Bay Ridge barbarian Melinda Levi. Off the bean, but not off the bean bag. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Hugo Saldana. Then we got Cutie with a smoothie. Then we got Yannis Stamos and German sidekick Chrissy Lamos. Julio freaky shark. Peter McCuskin. Programmatic 101. This guy, 7987 Ethan King Angelica. Then we got Call Me Elmer, Spud, because all I do is shoot Webb. Then we got cool with the muzzies until the towers went down.

[B]

What it is Chicken Vigor.

[A]

We got Smacked it and Eat It. Shakespeare presents George Floyd's Fentanyl frenzy. Jesus. Ladder 14, Dominique dies piece Pinaccio. Sergeant Gunner. The Master of Baton, Mitch Ledford. I leaked through my roof and out my ass.

[B]

Put him on the list.

[A]

All right.

[B]

It's a light list.

[A]

Then we got. Just ate up five guys and now I'm starving. Okay. Hitler made train tickets, tax deductible.

[B]

Jesus Christ. Ladder 14.

[A]

Then we got On a porch scene.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

Then we got Knicks fan Gabriel Rose. Then we got AI For Leroy's chat ebt. Nick is putting. Yes.

[B]

Yeah, that's gotta go.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay, this isn't funny. How the lists have different personalities. Like, this one is just coming after the blacks.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know why.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know why.

[A]

Then we got Kim Wan un. Then we got. Went for a little scoop, and I struck oil. Okay,

[B]

you get what? You get it?

[A]

He wiped his head, scooped his pot. Yeah. Put him on the List. Yeah. Struck oil.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then we got Vlad G. Ryan Cohen. Then we got Cuz. One more guest and I'm calling it a bomb threat.

[B]

Yeah, they don't. They're not. They don't like it.

[A]

Blake sands, Tim from MySpace. Evan, Ding Patrol, which we've had. Dirty D. Then we got High spca. I got a Rugrats problem on my property. Okay. Then we got. The smell is fine. I'm used to being peed on. I won't eat the box unless it's musk, like Elon. Okay, good.

[B]

That's a Drexler first. Drexler.

[A]

Okay. Then we got Chobani Peace. Pissing sweet on Sweeney's feet.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Then we got. Card bounced. Had to sign up again. It's what it is. Okay. Yeah.

[B]

You're okay.

[A]

Yeah. Then we got. Can you imagine how big Shaq's taint is?

[B]

It's probably. It's probably really.

[A]

Second Shaquille o' Neal one, too. It's very interesting.

[B]

Chicken Figure.

[A]

He's got a big taint. Shane Ornellis. Brian Flynn, Turd Ferguson. Rob himself. Moosie. Surprise. Tricked, beat up and robbed by a pretty Leroy in Sacramento. This just.

[B]

I mean, yes, they're coming after the blacks.

[A]

Frank the Tank. Mateo's hopes after Chrissy proposed to Jazzy. Okay. Frackanuk. Tristan Hennings, Jared Waters. And then last but not least, Asian Girl who Squirts.

[B]

Yeah. Nick says yes.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yes. Jesus Christ. So this is.

[A]

This is such a light list.

[B]

We had to add on the walked into ones or else we would be go. We have. We'd be out of business on this one.

[A]

Right? All right, so here we go. Here's the list. And again, you have to listen week after week, because some are. It's just. This is what it is with the list. What it is, Michael, blow a load in my ass or I'll blow up another wedding.

[B]

Okay. We get a Drex of that.

[A]

Okay. Then we got. Got a Leroy Tick that gave me crime disease.

[B]

Ladder 14.

[A]

You have to think, is it better than AI for Leroy's chat EBT? We can only have one.

[B]

Which one's less offensive? What's less offensive? I mean, what else is left?

[A]

I leaked through my roof and out my ass. Went for a little scoop and struck oil. Asian Girl who Squirts.

[B]

We can't have any of those three up in lights. That's a problem.

[A]

Okay, so take us out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Asian Girl who Squirts. AI for Leroy's Chat ebt. You're out. So it's between I leaped through my roof and out my ass or went for a little scoop and I struck oil. Both ass play once.

[B]

Yes. And let me just say those three are technically better than these two. But we can't have your name up in the what it is what it is. So we're choosing the lesser. This is the only time we're gonna choose two of the less funny ones.

[A]

We just have no choice.

[B]

We have no choice.

[A]

So I think, listen, if it was up to me, I looked through my roof and out my ass. It's hilarious. But we've heard roof whatever. I went for a little scoop and struck oil is a new play on. On right. On an ass. Okay.

[B]

Cuz we. It's a new thing on our lexicon when you scoop and sniff.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So we're going to honor the fans.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So it's a scoop, it's a sniff and he struck oil.

[A]

So congratulation on his hand. So congratulations to you. Could see your name up in lights at history hyenas is back.com went for a little scoop and I struck oil. You are the winner. I'll see you [e-mail] history hyenas.

[B]

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