
Loading summary
A
This cold and flu season, Instacart is here to help deliver all of your sick day essentials. Whether you're in prevention mode and need vitamins, hand sanitizer, and that lemon tea your nana swears by, or you're in healing mode and need medicine, soup, and a lot more tissues, simply download the Instacart app to get sick day supplies that reinvigorate or relieve. Delivered in as fast as 30 minutes, plus enjoy. Zero delivery fees on your first three orders. Excludes restaurant orders. Service fees and terms apply. Eggs, bacon, baked beans, I think a big beef steak, tomato and a bowl of fruit. And he would eat that every morning. And he would only wake up at like 11 o'clock in the afternoon. He only started his day late.
B
I don't know how he had any appetite with all that anxiety going on. You're getting bombed every night. You gotta. You're worried that the Nazis are gonna take over your island. You don't got the Americans in yet. You feel at a disadvantage. How the hell was he able to get anything down?
A
So the thing is, because I think that some people, the way that they react to anxiety and stress is to not get smaller. They get. And Winston Churchill got bigger, emotionally and physically. I mean, the kid was fat. If Humpty Dumpty was a movie right now, it'd be played by Winston Churchill.
B
Yeah. And he was a wild kid with his outfits. The guy liked to wear a onesie. Yeah, he liked to walk around in a onesie like a baby.
A
I liked it well, because he looks like a baby. So he said, let me just act like a baby.
B
Yeah, he wore a onesie.
A
Now, here's the thing with Winston Churchill. A lot of people know Winston Churchill, you know, you know him as the Prime Minister of England, which, by the way, I was watching documentaries about him this weekend with members of my family. Is it. Would you say the average American person knows that Britain, Great Britain and England have a Prime Minister and not like, do you think that they know what that means?
B
I don't think the average American knows that England and Britain are the same country.
A
Got it.
B
I think they think England's one country and Great Britain's another country.
A
It's another country.
B
Right? I think so.
A
Well, because, you know, but even. But Great Britain is actually England, Scotland and Northern Ireland. Right, Right.
B
And it used to be all Ireland until they were like, fucking, get out.
A
Get out.
B
Get the fuck out.
A
But because they were saying. Because. Because when I was watching my family, they were like, oh. Because they were saying, you know, they called Downing Street 10 Downing street is like their White House. And then the Prime Minister, you know, because. Because when I was watching it with, with, with my family member, they were like, what. What is it so special about being the Prime Minister? I was like, they're like the, the president.
B
Right.
A
Of England. And they didn't know that. And I was a little shocked that they didn't know that. But maybe we're just history loving.
B
No, there's a lot of countries that call him Prime Minister.
A
Right.
B
So you're just, you're dealing with people who aren't asking a lot of questions.
A
It's. Yeah, yeah.
B
Because Germany's got a prime minister.
A
No, Angela Merkel is a prime minister. I thought she was a chancellor.
B
Oh, she's the chancellor. You're right, isn't it?
A
Chancellor. Look at me. Yes.
B
Calling people stupid when I'm stupid.
A
Because if you don't start, if you don't take your anxiety down, I'm gonna give you a smack. I'm gonna hit you with a banana, cuz. Do you want to take a nibble of the vegan banana bread? Because it's vegan. It's healthy.
B
No, I don't. And here's the thing.
A
Look at that.
B
I said to Winston Churchill, I'm 100 healthy because I eat vegan or whatever. He said, I'm 200 healthy because I drink coffee and I smoke cigars.
A
And I smoke cigars. And. Right. The. The field marshal of D day said that, that, that general, he was kind of like known as a dick because.
B
Are you talking about Eisenhower?
A
Do you know what's a fun fact about Winston Churchill? Well, Eisenhower represented the American side, but then there was the guy who led the British.
B
The kid used to like to walk around naked and sometimes he would take baths and have his secretary recite what he wanted her to recite. And he was naked in the bath.
A
A lot of times, him and his whole family stayed with Franklin Delano Roosevelt at the White House for a month. And FDR saw the kids peace multiple times. Cause he would just dictate to him in the bathtub.
B
Yeah.
A
Here's another fun fact. Here's one thing I want to. Why I'm fascinated with Winston Churchill is we'll get to all his, you know, you know, Gallipoli and all the things that he did and what you know him for. But guys, what a lot, you know, what a lot of people don't know about Winston Churchill, why, you know where his fricking mother was born?
B
His mother was born.
A
You Know, his mother was born.
B
She was an American kid. Yeah.
A
But you know where she was born?
B
Brooklyn. Brooklyn. She's a Brooklyn kid.
A
Winston Churchill's mother is from Brooklyn.
B
Yeah.
A
Born and raised in Brooklyn in the 1800s. And here's one thing. It's the same thing with the Jews. If you're born out of American vagina, then you're American.
B
Right? Right.
A
So, Winston Churchill, you can't be born out of an American vagina and not get a little red, white and blue goo on your head.
B
That's just what it is. It's the same rule as the Jews.
A
It's the same Jew.
B
That's why Jesse is a Jew.
A
Jesse's a Jew.
B
He tries to be Italian, but he's a fucking Jew.
A
Jesse's Jewish. And that's why Patty Clips, who also helps run the studio, is Lebanese. Why Patty came in here with a mask on. Yeah, that's what it was. And it's not. It's not Pat's fault. Pat's just from the Middle east and he just. It's a trigger thing. Even though he loves Jesse as we all do, but. But because he was born out of the Jewish womb, then Pat has a sensation about him because he's Middle Eastern, where he just puts a mask on.
B
That's just how.
A
And it's unfortunate, and I don't think it's right.
B
No, we're not saying it's right. We're just saying it's a fact of life. It's something that happens. It's a truth. Bader Ginsburg, that people from the Middle east have a tough time eating around Jews. They do.
A
And it's unfortunate.
B
And I think Jews have a tough time eating around Arabs.
A
Yes.
B
It's what it is. And you got a tough. Yeah, yeah, it's lady song.
A
She ain't obviously just kidding.
B
Just joking. Lot of 14.
A
But it is one of those things where Winston Churchill's mother was an aristocrat, a high society lady from Brooklyn, United States, and then she married Winston Churchill's father, kind of like an arranged marriage. Who was a lord in Rudolph Randolph Churchill.
B
Was his mother the Duchess of Bay Ridge?
A
She might have been.
B
She might be the Duchess of Beirut.
A
They were sitting. They were the Winston Churchill's father and his mother was sitting there somewhere in Brooklyn and he's trying to talk to her and she goes, we're not going to be friends.
B
No, we're not.
A
You know, we're not going to be friends.
B
You know where this is heading.
A
How hot is Margot Robbie in that movie. Yeah.
B
She was so hot, it's insane. Yeah. I wanted to slurp her poop.
A
I would.
B
I would slurp her poop.
A
I would slurp her poop.
B
Yeah. Some girls you just got Slurpee. Poop.
A
Poop. Yeah.
B
Yeah.
A
Now Winston Churchill. Okay, the kid. The kid is born. And here's the thing. It wasn't like the kid in the beginning of his career, made a lot of mistakes. And make no mistake, the British people hated him. Yeah, they hate him in the beginning because of the big one was Gallipoli. Do you know about Gallipoli in World War I? Gallipoli.
B
He made a big Boo.
A
Boo. Made a big mistake against your mortal enemy, the Germans.
B
Turks.
A
Oh, the Turks. You don't. Germans are your friends.
B
Oh, Germans are friends. They're your friendly.
A
Just come over here.
B
Oh, yeah, he made a big mistake. He planned out the whole thing. And it went south.
A
It went south. Thousands of mostly Australian and New Zealand soldiers who at that time in 1914, were part of where they were still part of the British Empire. And people hated Winston Churchill because they blamed Gallipoli on him. I mean, it was a disaster.
B
It's a disaster. But he says it's because it was a committee of people, many generals, making decisions. And he said, from this point on, I'm going to do things my way. If I get the chance again, we're not going to have a lot of chefs in the kitchen. I'm going to do this. No, like. Like Adolf Hitler.
A
Yes.
B
I'm going to call the shots myself.
A
Exactly.
B
Yeah. Because he blamed it on everybody else. That could have just been him being a dick.
A
It could have been him being a dick. And here' the thing about Winston Church.
B
Kid did not like Indians.
A
Unfortunately, a lot of them die. Unfortunately, he did because he had people. Here's the thing, folks, if you want to get mad at people in history, and I'm just going to be crystal clear with you right now. If you want to get mad at people in history, you have every right to get mad at people in history. But make no mistake, you were not in the situation. You were never given the immense stress and power that some of these people in history had to endure. So your biggest decision sometimes in life is, what am I going to have for breakfast? Where Winston Churchill has to say. Because you can very easily say Winston Churchill was a piece of shit. He let India, the famine in India rage on, when he could have sent them rice and food to help them, but he also had to send rice and Food to his starving army, who was fighting the Nazis, who were on crystal meth and advancing in World War II through their blitzkrieg like crazy. So, yes, he unfortunately had to let some Indian people die, and that really does suck. But he also had to feed his army, because if he even didn't feed the army and the Nazis would have taken over Europe, then guess what? We'd all be speaking German right now. Yeah.
B
And you can't blame a British guy for being a British guy. I mean, he might have get off. He might have gotten off the plane and gotten to India and just went, pu. Yeah. And that could have just been his first impression of the country. And go, this place just doesn't smell great.
A
Yeah.
B
So I'm just gonna care about it less because I'm a British snob.
A
I'm a British snob. And you know what, folks? And if you go back and listen to some of our episodes, we've told you that people do bad things, bad people do good things. And this is a truth. Bader Ginsburg, we're about to hit you with right now. Go back to listen to one of the old historian episodes. But Winston Churchill probably had good reason to not like Gandhi, because Gandhi, I know you think he was a good guy. He liked to bang out.
B
Yes. His cousins, too. I think she was 13.
A
Yeah. So here's the thing, folks.
B
He was testing himself, babe. He was, like, going, all right, I want to. Let's sleep naked with her and see if I could do it. But you know what he did? You know, he pushed his wood up against.
A
He pushed his wood up. He put his. Woodrow Wells. Banged her out. And it's unfortunate, and I know that people want to hate on Winston Churchill, on Tik Tok, but the truth is, folks, you've never been put in a position like he's been put in a position, and he pretty much mostly rose to the occasion.
B
He rose to the occasion. He was just the guy that history says stood up to Hitler and said, I got a Woo. Fdr, by the way. Talk about a kid who's got eyes that are close together.
A
Everything.
B
Fdr, he's got a monocle.
A
Yeah.
B
I mean that his eyes were close together. His legs didn't work.
A
Because you think you can get polio.
B
I might get polio.
A
Yeah.
B
But he was like, I'm gonna woo this guy into the. Into the war because we need this guy because the. We're just gonna get overrun by the Nazis because the Nazis were a goddamn machine. They were machine storming everybody. And so he just took the fight, kept protecting the island. They started bombing citizens. It got ugly. But he just kept writing love letters to FDR going, babe, babe, babe, this is your fight too. Yeah, this is your fight too, babe.
A
That's because here's the thing.
B
We got to bring these two forces together just like we did with the hyenas.
A
Yeah, it's what it is.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah. What it is. So, folks, here's the thing. World War I happens. Here's the truth. A lot of people say, why. Why don't more people talk about World War I? Because it was fucking boring, okay? Because nobody really did anything. I mean, I know a lot of people.
B
Charisma. Nobody like.
A
But World War II. Why it's interesting why Winston Churchill becomes Winston Churchill and Adolf Hitler and Stalin, FDR is. Because you had big personalities. Like you said, charisma. You had a lot of fun things happening.
B
Right?
A
World War I was kind of, well, not so fun.
B
Yeah, well, no, it depends what side you're on. Hey, fun. Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
I mean, you know, there was. There was stuff that was going on that wasn't so fun if you, if you had a Frisbee on.
A
If we're just talking about. If we're just talking about. I'm not, I'm not saying talk about.
B
The German perspective for the first couple of years.
A
You're saying we're just talking about. And I'm not talking about good or bad. Evil. I'm taking. I'm talking about just endorphins going up, people having fun.
B
Yeah.
A
I mean, who is having more fun than 39? They were just field goal kicking, everybody taking countries. I mean, they took Poland. Like I fudge it. Took a vegan banana bread and give it to me.
B
They just took it. They took French. They just walked into France.
A
My daughter, I mean, the resident doctor. The resident doctor of this show, our good friend Dr. Luki, who's a Polish kid born and. Born and raised in Warsaw. I mean, he. His face. Generations of kids have just been born. I mean, the kid just always looks surprised. His face just always looks surprised. Because he's just as like, are those Germans coming to take my country?
B
He looks like a black and white photo.
A
He does look like a black and white photo.
B
Should be in like Auschwitz.
A
Strong.
B
Yeah. It just has that look.
A
He has that look.
B
He's got an ancient European kind. No new jeans to my village kind of look.
A
Yeah. And that's why I was very. When we first met, when we were friends at 18, I think. Cuz I still have the German DNA. And he was the Polish.
B
You tried to put him in the.
A
I was looking at him.
B
I was like.
A
I remember in my head, I was like, how can I put this guy in a cannon? Just kidding.
B
He said, what are we having today after the game, Chris? We have pizza. He said, no, we're having you.
A
Yeah, I want to have Lucas schnitzel.
B
Yeah, Schnitzel from Lukash.
A
So, no, but. But. So. So World War I, you know, Gallipoli. That's the big thing with Winston Churchill in World War I. He gets blamed for Gallipoli. They kind of oust him out of politics. And then what happens is, is because the thing is, because World War II didn't really happen that long after World War I. If you think it was like that long, it really wasn't.
B
Because it was not long. The Germans got right back to work.
A
Right back to work.
B
Because they rebuilt quick. And they were like, look, we're trying to. We're trying. We lost. We lost in the championship game last year.
A
Yeah.
B
But we rebuilt. We got a new gm.
A
Yeah.
B
And we like this guy.
A
Yeah.
B
Going right back in for a ring.
A
Yeah. They like that. Yeah.
B
Yeah. They went, like, the next season. They went for it.
A
Yeah, they just kind of went for it, and they just kept winning. I mean, you know, and so what happened was, is Winston Churchill was the only person in Parliament at that time saying, we have to stop Hitler now. Because Neville Chamberlain, who was the prime Minister of England at the time, actually made a peace deal with Hitler. He was like, you know what? Let's just. He met them. He met him and said, let's just shake hands on peace. And Churchill was like, no, no, we have to go to war with him. We have to stop him right now. And they were like. They kept telling him to shut up. He was telling the British public, we have to stop Hitler. He's a madman. He knew this in, like, the mid-1930s. And then they just start blitzkrieging, taking every country. And then once they took Poland, that was the buffer country between kind of Eastern Europe and Western Europe, and then they were like, oh, shit. And then the people actually. They had. They called for. The people called for Neville Chamberlain's head. They were like, he's got to get out.
B
Yeah.
A
And within 10 minutes, they actually called. They did.
B
They were like, this guy. You need a guy with some balls in there.
A
Yes.
B
I mean, so that's why they would, like. I don't think without Neville Chamberlain being such a F word.
A
Yes.
B
I don't think they go for church.
A
Because you might as well just say, you said it twice, Right?
B
Yeah. Because they knew that Churchill was a military bulldog and they knew that he was a hawk against Hitler. And so they're going, oh, look what happened. He went and made the peace deal and said he wasn't going to take Poland. Then he went back on and he took Poland. We can't trust.
A
Yes.
B
This little crazy guy with a half mustache.
A
Little crazy guy with a halfy. Yeah. So what happens is, is the big turning point, too, is what Churchill really kind of gets famous for is he becomes prime minister. And then Dunkirk, you know, the battle of Dunkirk, which you guys have seen that movie with Tom Hardy.
B
Yeah.
A
If you guys ever want to just kind of move your monkey a little bit to a movie down in your basement with the lights off when your father's not home.
B
Yeah.
A
Throw on Dunkirk and just listen to Tom Hardy's voice. It's kind of like asmr.
B
He's great.
A
Yeah. He's just the whole time he's in a mask and he's just.
B
Yeah, yeah.
A
So Tom Hardy, that's my hall pass. Tom Hardy. Yeah, I know Jasmine, when we talk, she's like, who's your hall pass? You know, Jazz Hardy. Jasmine said, mark Wahlberg. And I said, tom Hardy. And she said, excuse me. I thought I was like, yeah, Tom Hardy. I mean, I meant, Jessica, would you.
B
Would you top him? I mean, you're a big guy. Or would you get topped by Tom Hardy?
A
Tom Hardy. I would probably say for him, I would. With Tom Hardy.
B
You got it. I know you got a gay mind and you're open to it, but you just don't got the type of body that can receive gay sex. You're just going to have big, white, milky legs in the air. It's not for you.
A
The thing is, because, to be honest with you, I wouldn't even want to have sex with Tom Hardy. I would just want to kind of have him look out a window on me, hold him from the back. That's all I'm looking to do with Tom Hardy. Yeah. Just kind of hold him and just kind of smell his hair.
B
Love from guys.
A
That's all I want to do. I'm not looking to do anything gay for love. Just want to hold, like there's times like, you know, you. And I've been walking around. I said, maybe I should grab Yanni's.
B
Hand right now just for romance, what it is.
A
But I'm not looking for anything sexual because that's it. You know, like if we're in a long trip, like when we fly, we got to go fly to Texas this weekend.
B
Yeah.
A
If I get a little tired of me just. You might just wake up in. My head's in your lap.
B
It just might happen. Yeah.
A
What it is. Or my head's on your shoulder.
B
Yeah.
A
I mean, cuz make no mistake, because this episode. Well, this episode's coming out Thursday. Make no mistake, folks. We're on Joe Rogan right now.
B
We're on Joe.
A
We're on Joe Rogan right now.
B
As probably a snooze. Now, those two guys loved each other very much too.
A
Who? Winston Churchill.
B
Winston Churchill and fdr, they love. They started developing a nice relationship where they really loved each other. And I think the kid, Winston Churchill wrote him like a thousand letters.
A
Well, Winston Churchill, he was a suitor. He was the suitor. Winston Churchill was Winston Churchill definitely going.
B
Like, come on, nuke the jobs. Get it, get it. Help us. Come in, we need your help.
A
Well, Winston Churchill wrote many more letters to FDR than FDR wrote to Churchill because he knew that he was being pursued. But the, the thing is, is Dunkirk. Winston Churchill kind of gets famous because he was the one that said because they had 450,000 troops and Dunkirk and the Germans were closing in, they would have lost the whole army and that war would have been over. But he said, get small boats, get the British people to help us. And they got like 380,000 soldiers back off the shores from Dunkirk across the English Channel. And then they had the, you know, then the Battle of Britain happens where Churchill says, we're going to have to fight them in the air. And so many British pilots died, but they beat the Germans back enough. They scared the Germans back. Their first kind of hit back because no one had stopped the Germans at all. They were like, Hitler was like, oh, we can't bomb. We can't just go in and bomb England and London. We can't do it during the day. So that's when they started coming at night. And when they started blitzing London and bombing London for 56 days in a row, they dropped bombs on these kids. And here's the thing, okay? When I watch a documentary, when you go look at the London Blitz, when they're bombing these people for 56 days, they're in bomb shelters. And of course, the first few days, you know, it's the British people are staying underground and school is closed and the stores are closed. But then, cuz they just start to live their life, okay?
B
You get used to it. You get used to it.
A
So the thing is, like, you know, the people today, sometimes when we complain and bitch about this and that, it's like, imagine your city was getting bombed every day for 56 days, but then you just went to school or you just went to the market, they had a party. If there was a podcast, it would have been doing the podcast. And then at night, you just go into the bomb shelter.
B
Yeah, that's what it's lived underground.
A
Just, just, just accept that what you're doing, living right now, a lot of it, a lot of the pain you're in, it's in your head. Because. Not you, just people. It's in your fucking head. Actually. You do.
B
I did your head. I think, I think that's our perception of it. But I think if you would have asked those guys at the time, they would went, this fucking sucks. Yeah, this ain't great.
A
But they accepted it. And a big part of that was Winston Churchill saying, yeah, Winston Churchill saying, we're going to fight them in the streets, we're going to fight them in the hills. We' ever, ever surrender. And he would go down himself. Two things he did. One, he would go down to the bomb shelters and show the people, fat man scoop is here, I got the cigar. I'm here, I'm walking around my onesie. And then the second thing he would do is during these bombs when they would just drop anywhere from the night sky, he would stand on his roof and smoke a cigar and let the people know that he's on the roof. I want you guys to be safe, but I'm on the fucking. He wanted the Hitlers in Germany. No, I'm on the roof.
B
Supposedly. Even when he left a post, a political post, and went back into battle.
A
Right.
B
Remember that part where he goes back into battle, joins a regiment. He was a guy did not shy away from danger. He had a deep belief that he had a destiny. He always felt like he was destined to be prime minister. It didn't look like it was going to go that way because he got very unpopular. Then after what happened in, you know, when he had that big tragedy, he had to kind of resign and he.
A
Gallipoli.
B
Gallipoli. Then he went and he became like he was in a military guy. He was infantry, went on the front lines. I think it was in Africa or something.
A
He's a guy who, like, he fought legit. He legit fought. So that's why sometimes when you hear about these stories about Alexander the Great or these other Roman Generals, whatever, who led the front lines. You're like, I don't know if I believe that, but a guy like Winston Churchill. So we actually have video evidence fd Teddy Roosevelt. Video evidence of it, or, you know, we know that it happened. So he was. The one thing about Winston Churchill is he was not puss. He was not a puss.
B
Not a puss.
A
And he would throw a swing. And he was begging FDR to get into the war because he knew if the Americans don't join, we're done. He needed the Americans because we were like steroids. We were Winstrel.
B
Yeah.
A
The only way you're going to ever beat Adolf is you need to get juiced up a little bit. You need to send the American juice.
B
Yeah. And the Americans were going, listen, we just got in a war over there. This is their problem. We're not going back over there. Can't these whites just figure it out?
A
Yeah.
B
They're always fighting with each other. We're not going back over there. We're isolationists. We got things over here that we want to care about. And then destiny intervened in the name of the Japanese.
A
Yeah.
B
And they woke up the boys. Yeah. They made a big, big mistake.
A
Julia Roberts, Pretty Woman voice. Huge mistake.
B
Huge, big, big mistake.
A
Huge. So wait, but I want to ask you this, because we've known. We've covered on this show. If you go watch our. If you haven't. If you're new here, go watch our episode, Pearl harbor, one of the classic history episodes. We talk all about Pearl harbor, but we have spoken about how the Japanese got involved and they bombed Pearl harbor because they wanted to fuel their own war machine. They needed oil, this whatever. But it's a little coincidental that Churchill is begging for the US to get in the war, and then all of a sudden, the Japanese bomb the US and get us into the war. Do you think Churchill. And we haven't found evidence yet, but do you think the kid did. He had a little sushi day? Do you think he sat down the floor, he went to Emperor Hiroshido's palace, took off his shoes, sat on the floor, got a little sush, and said, let me make you a proposal.
B
I think what could happen?
A
Is it possible?
B
It's very possible. Something like that. The. The British intelligence there were doing a lot. They had double agents in the German army. Maybe they had something cooking.
A
Yeah.
B
In the Japanese military, they could have. And what they did is maybe they sent out, like, a false Morse code, or they said, oh, we broke the Americans code. They're about to attack from Pearl harbor and then convince them to preemptively attack.
A
Right.
B
Because he wanted to get him in the war. That's very possible, that secret. And maybe we'll never know it.
A
Right.
B
Because it is a coincidence, too much.
A
Of a coinky dink that all of a sudden this country who was swearing they were going to be isolationists, gets bombed out of nowhere.
B
It also could be fdr because FDR always agreed with Churchill. He just couldn't convince the people.
A
People.
B
He needed something. He needed some big thing to happen that galvanized them. And so maybe he just said. He called the Japanese and said, hey, we're gonna give you a free. Free shot to the face. Yeah. And just.
A
And just like power slap hit me. And just, just true. In true American fashion, what happens is the Japanese bomb Pearl harbor, the Americans get into the war. Winston Churchill says, now we need to go kill the Germans. Right. He goes, no, we're just gonna go to Africa and kill them. They just. The first thing they do is they just went to North Africa and they're like, we're just going to kill a bunch of North Africans and then we're just going to, you know, fight Germany there. Yeah.
B
Because Americans, we just want to always.
A
Just take over Africa. And I don't know why. It's just an American thing.
B
Well, it was. It was an easier front to.
A
That's what they said.
B
That's what they say.
A
Yeah. The kids were just like, oh, let's go.
B
Here's another opportunity.
A
Yeah, let's get more Africans. And it's messed up, but. But so they go to north.
B
I'm not sure if that's true, but it's possible.
A
It's. Hey, this train is. As we told you, we are the. We are the chat slots.
B
Ye.
A
We. You come here for fun and a little fact. You come here for more fun than fact.
B
It's definitely.
A
If you want to go more fact than fun, then you go to our boy, Dan Carlo.
B
Yeah, it's definitely more of a fun ride. Yeah, we're constantly taking a sports car around the block, but you ain't really going anywhere.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but we're having fun.
B
Yeah, we're having a good time.
A
Take the ev. You take what's fun. What I want the people to do is, of course, go to patreon.com history hyenas, where we go and we have the most fun. There is go on Patreon and, you know, see if, you know, like, take a shot. If every time that we say Something that is historically inaccurate. Go do the research yourself and then write on Patreon. What did the boys get wrong? Yeah, I love. Because our fan. What's beautiful about Patreon is what's happening now. We're only six episodes in the community there. If you go on that Bay Ridge Boys chat, I mean, these people are. It's happening again. They're hilarious. The funniest fans ever. And then they're, like, going on dates with each other. They're talking about what we got right, what we got wrong. Patreon.com historyainas we do a bonus episode up there. We the. Anything we've cackled out here, we put on there. But then we also talk about some facts, even more facts that are actual historically accurate on the page.
B
Right. And right now, here's a good opportunity to let you know we got our RSS feedback on Apple, which was a big struggle, but we got it.
A
Yes.
B
So we got all our old subscribers back. So please go there, get it active, write A review, rated 5 stars. Go hit the Apple app.
A
Yeah. Go hit it up. And we appreciate that, but because with, you know, so the Japanese get involved, and now. And now the United States military. Because here's the truth, folks, is what it is. You could talk shit about the United States all you want. Number one. Despite what you read in the news, we are still the number one country, the number one superpower by a lot. Yeah, folks buy a lot. China's not even close. North Korea is not close. Nobody's really close.
B
We're so powerful, we put drones on ourselves.
A
Yeah, we got drones on ourselves. They're looking over New Jersey.
B
Yeah, they're looking at just something in New Jersey. I think they're looking for. What are they looking for?
A
Unfortunately, the truth. Unfortunately, the rumor that's looking like it's more and more true is that somebody got a nuke from Ukraine and they got it into the eastern waters of the United States. And apparently those drones are looking for a nuke.
B
So it's scary.
A
You know what? It's scary if you are not around your family. But for me, it's like, if you're going to nuke us, at least that's the way to go, because then we'll all just go together. Yeah, no problem. Because we're in the blast zone. Have fun. But you might be okay because, make.
B
No mistake, because you live in Maine, I don't want. Yes.
A
Yeah.
B
No, I'm just kidding. We can't have anyone hurt by this thing. That's a Rumor. That's an ex rumor.
A
It's a rumor.
B
That's what they're doing.
A
But in the front page of the New York Post this morning, Joe Rogan even said it's true. So we're gonna ask him to his face on Thursday. Joe Rogan is. Did you see Joe?
B
Yeah.
A
Well, here's the deal.
B
It makes a lot of sense because what else are they doing? You know, they're American planes because they got f. FAA lights going on.
A
Thank you, bluechew, for sponsoring this episode. Baby. Bluechew. What we want to see. What I want to see is that rock hard piece. I want you getting nice and hard, and I want you showing it to me. And I want you showing it to your girl. I want you showing it to your boyfriend. And bluechew wants to make sure that you're rock hard for winter, fall, summer, spring. Bluechew is an online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, but at a fraction of the cost and in chewable form. Folks, bluechew tablets are made right here in the USA and they are prepared and shipped directly to your dough. You can take them anytime, day or night. So you can plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises. And make no mistake, you will be a rising in your pants. Okay? Bluechew wants men rock hard. That's what they told me. They whispered it in my ear. And I want to be rock hard. I want everyone to be rock hard. I mean, my. My father's been taking Blue chew, and the kid is just rock. That's the mission. They will not stop until every man is bricked up like a brick house. Till every tent is pitched, till every rod is raised. Discover your options@bluechew.com and of course, for the hyenas, we always have a special offer for you hyenas. We want those pseudo penises rock. We want those pseudo penises in the air. Try Blue Chew for free, folks. You don't. I'm chain free, okay? And I mean free. Try BlueChew free. You just pay the $5 shipping at checkout when you visit bluechew.com that's bluechew.com to receive your first month free, okay? That's a month of free boners, folks. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring history hyenas.
B
Guys, do you want to win $5,000 gaming consoles, smartphones, amazing gift cards, and in game loot, Raid is making your Christmas dreams come true with A chance to win amazing prizes with a special mini game event. Players will save Santa. Santa's. He's a piece.
A
Santa is a piece.
B
By shooting the boss with snowballs. Simply download Raid, then head to xmiss.raiser RPG.com, enter your raid ID and start throwing snowballs.
A
Now.
B
Look. I wish I would have gotten these heroes when I started Campaigns. Dungeons Clown, Clam Boss, Arena. Raid has an endless amount of content and they just keep adding content. The game is cross platform, Play it anywhere. Raid has triple A graphics. The raid PvE player versus enemy mode is by far the most advanced based on user feedback. I mean, this is a great thing for Christmas, 100%.
A
And everybody loves Santa and snowballs.
B
They do. So check this out. Out, check this out, check it out. This is a limited time offer that will give you a great start in the game. They're giving away two Epic Heroes for free to help new users kickstart the game. Click the link in the description or scan the QR code to get insane bonuses. A legendary hero. Two epic heroes for free. Available only via this link. If players go directly to the app stores or use any other link to download, they won't get these bonuses. Users get Epic champion Tagorey from the Orc faction. Okay, Yeah, I like him. Yeah, it's an epic support champion standing strong with his majestic sword staff, leaving no fallen soldiers behind. Users get Epic champion Tayrell.
A
Okay, okay.
B
Yeah. From the high elves faction.
A
Yeah. Tyrell. I think he's from Atlanta.
B
Yeah, he could be. Many players consider Tayrell to be the very best epic that Raid Shadow Legends has to offer. With his arsenal of high powered debuffs suited for all occasions. What's your favorite champion or faction from Raid?
A
Tyrell.
B
I like Tyrell the best too.
A
I love.
B
I love that guy a lot. I love that guy. So click my link in the description or scan my QR code to get insane bonuses. A legendary hero and two epic heroes for free. Available only via my link. If players go directly to app stores or use any other link to download, they won't get these bonuses. Just check it out, follow the instructions and really enjoy Raid this Christmas. You know, it's like, what else do they do? Yeah.
A
Joe wrote infrared alert, Homeland Security, FBI finally ramping up efforts to probe mystery drones tormenting New Jersey and New York. Okay, so now it's getting breaking news that now the FBI is involved. Okay, so, yeah, so yeah, let's see. Federal authorities have finally stepped up efforts to investigate mysterious drone sightings that have been spotted nightly over A growing swath off the Eastern seaboard for nearly a month. Okay. I think he's talking about.
B
I think they're called new sniffers, nuke sniffers. They're looking for views. They're looking for.
A
Yeah. Joe Rogan genuinely concerned about drone sightings after new theory emerges. It's folks. It's what it is. I mean, you know, there's really nothing we can do if there's a nuke off the East Coast.
B
What else could they possibly be doing?
A
The only thing that I'll advise you guys to do is if you really want to be safe and you want to guarantee that you get into the right part of heaven, if a nuke gets off every second of the day, you need to be draped in the American flag.
B
That's the only way.
A
When Jesus sees you coming through the gates, no matter what you've done, he's going to see that American flag. He's going to say, God, dad, that's one of my guys. Get him in.
B
Yeah.
A
He's looking at you. Because. Why do you think we've talked about this before? Why do you think that our country is protected by the Atlantic and Pacific Ocean?
B
Because. Jesus Christ.
A
Jesus Christ.
B
And now here's the deal. If a Newt goes off, I want to be in the blast zone.
A
Yeah.
B
I don't want to be on the expert. I don't want to, like, live with half my face. Yeah.
A
For a year, you slowly die of cancer, it's like, just make me into dust right now. I want to be saline.
B
Yeah.
A
Just.
B
I want to be in the blast zone.
A
Yeah.
B
Hopefully this doesn't happen. Things are heating up. There's a lot to be anxious about.
A
There's a lot to be anxious about. But that's why we're. You're safe here. I'm saying it to the fans. I'm saying it to you. You are safe here.
B
And I am. I am. I have the utmost respect and the utmost trust in the military that they are going to find whatever Wei Song Xian.
A
That's what it is. I don't know. Yeah.
B
Or Russian or.
A
Well, they.
B
North Korean.
A
The theory is that it snuck out with the chaos of the Ukraine, Russia, war, that it snuck out through the Ukraine and somehow it got over here. Because, make no mistake, if you go watch this new movie, Carry on, on Netflix, you just realized that the TSA is franks and beans. Yeah.
B
And you can also carry a nuke in a suitcase now. Right, that.
A
See, the issue is with nuclear warfare. And Oppenheimer was saying this. You Know, we said, oh, now, you know, we released the, you know, God or whatever, I forgot whatever his famous quote is. But he said the problem, nuclear bombs. Right now he's not, he was, wasn't worried about in his lifetime because they had to be as big as rocket ships. He said, if technology advances and they can make them small, then you have an issue because the nuke that's in somebody's briefcase right now is 20 times more stronger than Hiroshima.
B
So what do we got to do to fix this world?
A
You got to just keep.
B
It's too late.
A
You got to just. You got, you just want to get.
B
This message out to the world.
A
What do you have to do?
B
Radical acceptance.
A
Radical acceptance.
B
Be friendly with your president and go gently with your day. That's it. Can you hear me, leaders of the world?
A
Yeah. Go gently, go gently. Radical acceptance. Stay friendly with your president. Be where your feet are. And the only thing you have to do is. The thing that you did November 6th is you picked right? So you did save the world. You saved the world. So unfortunately, because if we, if it was the other way, we'd be bad.
B
Because if a world war starts now, I mean, Donnie T. May be the guy. Will he be the new Winston Churchill or we be more Neville Chamberlain?
A
I'm saying Donald Trump will be. Here's. Here's the similarities between Winston Churchill and Donald Trump. So what happens is, is obviously, you know, this episode's not about World War II. You know what happens in World War II. United States, we beat the Nazis back, we beat the Japanese, we dropped the bombs. Everyone's triumphant. V Day. Winston Churchill was famous for this sign, cuz he was saying victory V Day, where the Germans surrender, Britain wins, whatever. But because of all that war, even though the people loved him, they said that he did not get reelected as Prime Minister just a year later because the people figured we needed that mindset to win. We love you, Winston Churchill, but now we need another type of. We need the exact opposite of you to rebuild and have this smart move too. Smart move. So. But what happens though, is they do that for four years and then they reelect Winston Churchill yet again. Winston Churchill becomes a Prime minister twice. So they elect him, then they make a mistake. They don't elect him, then they reelect him back. Like Donald Trump.
B
Right.
A
Similar to Donny T. Where he said.
B
We made a mistake, stayed right, right.
A
And then we said, come on back.
B
Right, yeah, very possible.
A
So that's what it was, folks. So now. So. So that's a big similarity. And plus they both had American mothers.
B
They both had American mothers. And, you know, it was the three of them. It was three guys.
A
It was.
B
It was a. It was. War makes for strange bedfellows. And we had Winston Churchill, we had fdr, and then we had a guy named Stalin.
A
Joseph Stalin.
B
Not his real name is Joseph Stalin.
A
Not his real name.
B
Stalin means steal the kid.
A
Just Joseph Steele.
B
Yeah, he was marketing. He liked people calling him Steel.
A
Man of Steel.
B
Man of Steel, basically.
A
So.
B
And I think his real name was Holahovsky or something. It's just some weird, weird name.
A
And you know what's crazy about, like. And we should do an episode one day on just specifically Joseph Stalin, because, I mean, he killed as many people as Adolf, but he doesn't get the bad press about it.
B
Took a lot of people down.
A
He killed a lot of people.
B
He was unfortunate. And so what happened is when Winston Churchill, FDR and him got together, slowly, the relationship between Winston Churchill and FDR started to get a little looser because Stalin stepped in. And those were the two big guns. And so they were kind of. They started cucking them a little bit. A little like, you're, You're. You call yourself Great Britain, but right now you're just. You're Little Britain.
A
You're just kind of a little island that we don't care about.
B
You had your day.
A
Yeah.
B
And now it's. The big boys need to talk.
A
Yeah, yeah. And so.
B
And they started making jokes about him.
A
Right. And Churchill didn't love that, of course, but he stayed professional. And he just said, you know what? We still need them. And what he was worried about is what eventually kind of happened. He was worried about. He was like, you know, if they keep getting closer and closer, Stalin and fdr, then what's going to happen eventually is they're going to become really good friends in BFFs. And then they may want to turn their sights and take over England. And. Not that it ever got to that, but what definitely started to happen is they both. I mean, the reason why we even dropped it, you know, the theory of why we actually dropped the nukes. Right.
B
We wanted to scare the Russians.
A
We wanted to scare the Russians, scare.
B
Stalin, let them know we got it.
A
That was.
B
Don't around.
A
That's why we dropped two.
B
Yeah.
A
Because we said to the Russian, oh, you thought we only had one motherfucker. Yeah, we have dust.
B
Yes.
A
So that. So. And. And so Churchill kind of knew all that. But you know, what's another wild thing that I learned about Whitney Church? You Know. You ever heard of Operation Unthinkable? You know about that one?
B
No.
A
Okay, Ready for this?
B
Yeah.
A
Operation Unthinkable, folks. Should we do Operation Unthinkable on the Patreon or just do it here?
B
Let's do it on the Patreon, because that's a goodie.
A
Operation unthinkable. Go to patreon.com history this is so wild. And it's 100% true. Yeah, it is 100%.
B
Now, what do we say to all the people out there on the Internet that are saying that Winston Churchill is actually the villain of World War II and not Adolf Hitler?
A
What I say, if you're. Especially if you're coming from a country that has democracy right now, I'll say you're. You should thank Winston Churchill, folks.
B
Right?
A
Because if you thought he was a villain, that's only because you've been free for the last 60 years to do whatever you want.
B
Right?
A
You're sitting there with you cut your dick off and you have it on your head like a unicorn.
B
Well, but what they're saying. What they're saying is. What they're saying is Hitler wasn't that bad of a guy with the. With the POW camps and the ovens and stuff. What happened was.
A
Did you say Hitler wasn't that bad?
B
That's what they're saying. Okay. What they're saying is, because that's wild. Winston Churchill was really the bad guy because Adolf Hitler really did what he did with the ovens and the POW camps because it was a logistics problem. They didn't plan on what they could do with all these POWs, so they just decided, because they were overwhelmed with them, the most humane thing to do. Now, that is from. He's not even a real historian, but he is a content creator, and it got big. And Tucker Carlson interviewed him and. What was his name again?
A
Wait, so he said that, like, Churchill was actually okay with it?
B
No, he said Churchill was a bad guy because he started the war, because he wanted the war.
A
Right.
B
And Hitler didn't want the war.
A
He just wanted a little piece of.
B
Poland, and that city would have stopped.
A
Well, they wanted the Rhineland, and they wanted. They wanted, like, a little piece pieces of Germany. They won a little Poland, and that's it.
B
And they would have stopped, But Winston Churchill was this warhawk that was, like, goading him on and responsible for him continuing to go and go and go and go. Daryl Cooper. That was his theory.
A
Ryan.
B
So he's saying Winston Church that jumped.
A
Out of the plane. No, D.B. cooper.
B
No, that's the guy that Tucker Carlson interviewed. And then it was a big hoopla, Right. On the Internet. And even people on the right were very upset with that.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
And say, whoa, that's not true. Winston Churchill's a hero. But he's going, look at all these bad things Winston Churchill did.
A
Because there's not like he was trying.
B
To cancel Winston Churchill.
A
There's not a person in history.
B
I don't know. I'm not saying it's true or not.
A
Is there anyone there. Is there anyone in history who's went on to become a hero that people don't think is also a villain? It seems, like, impossible to be hero.
B
This Christ, good guy all the way around.
A
Yeah. But there are a lot of people who think he's a villain. You know who. Those. What we call those people.
B
Yeah, those. Those guys are. And maybe. Maybe Jews, too.
A
Jews and Muslims.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
So actually today.
B
So basically, no matter who you are, you're always going to have some people love you, some people hate you.
A
But Muslims actually don't hate Jesus, right? No, I think they think he was.
B
One of the prophets.
A
Right. Okay. I think the Jews think Muhammad's the big guy and Jesus was just another guy.
B
Muhammad is huge. He's. Yeah, he's Ted Sarandos. He's big. He's running it. Yeah, he's the big guy. Yeah. Yeah. And he was also a military guy.
A
Yeah.
B
And he was a political guy.
A
Right.
B
He was a conqueror.
A
He was a cute kid. There's no way he was Right.
B
There's no way he was.
A
You can't have that much power and not be a little bit of a hottie with a body. Genghis Khan.
B
But look at Hitler. I mean, he was not a hottie. And he rose to power. He wasn't a hottie, just the way he spoke.
A
Girls wanted to bang him out big, though, Right.
B
How many times have I gotten calls from you say you're watching Hitler speeches in Germany. You're getting douche. You're getting chills.
A
Yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah. I mean, before I see how he.
B
Convinced people to do things with that charisma.
A
I mean, because it's. It's one of those things I just watch for history. But if you ever want to kind of get fascinated, then go watch a Hitler speech with the English subtitles on. You're like, wow.
B
Yeah. Yeah, he's a good speaker.
A
Yeah.
B
Churchill was also a good speaker.
A
Well, I told you. I told you when I was watching the Hitler speech, when they just AI did the Hitler speech in English without a German accent. He was just saying his words. And Jasmine was making food in the kitchen, and she's just listening on the tv. She has no idea what I'm even watching. And she goes, who is that? And I go, oh, it's a political leader. She goes, I like what he's saying. He's making sense. I said, that's Hitler. She's like, my God, no, I didn't know that.
B
Yeah, yeah.
A
She's talking because he's talking. What? He's what? All they did this AI thing is every time they said Germany, they said America. And so they change it because all really Hitler would do is talk about how much he loves Germany and how every country is going to tell. He said. He kept. He would famously go to, you know, now we're fighting another superpower, It's Germany versus England. And he goes, one of us. One of us is going to be destroyed. The only way to win is one of us must be destroyed, and it will not be the Germans, right? And they started to go nuts, right? So this speech that I watch was like, america versus, I think there's Russia, and America will not be destroyed. And, like, people clapping, whatever, and jazz, like, that shit is nice. Yeah.
B
When you heard it in English, you're going like, this sounds like a lot of politicians. He was just going, we're going to make Germany great again.
A
Per.
B
That sounds basically yourself.
A
If you're a German person, you know, not the Jew stuff and the Holocaust stuff is inexcusable. But just as far as Germany getting their lives back and going to war, make believe you're a German person in your 20s or 30s at that time, you have no money. Your country got decimated in World War I. You have to pay all these war reparations. And this guy comes back, it's like, hey, let's pick up the pieces and let's just stick it to these motherfuckers.
B
Well, I could always see in all these countries, right, because they go from, like, great economy to bad economy, feast to famine. And there's just one group in all these countries that just has figured it out. They're just always doing good, right? And it's like, I could see during bad times, they look at the Jews and they go, what the are they doing? Yeah, but what they really are doing is just being good with money.
A
That's all it is.
B
They just are so good with it.
A
They're good with it. And there's nothing bad about that. They're good. It's economy.
B
Certain groups are good at certain things. I gotta just say the Jews just figure out a way to just. They're recession proof. They just figure out a way. And then so when you're down on your luck and you look over there, it's very easy to scapegoat them because you're going like, they got, they're rich, they're doing okay, they're unaffected by this. Let's take them out.
A
Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah, but so, but so, you know, with, with.
B
It's not the first time it's happened.
A
No, yeah, no, it just happens. And listen, Churchill. There is also another. And this is just a conspiracy cutie. This is a conspiracy cutie right here. But there is some thought that the Americans and British knew about the Holocaust and the camps. And there's this theory that they say that, you know, when they discovered them they were aghast by them and. Oh my God. And that definitely was, I'm sure some truth to that. But they thought they knew about this from their secret agents and that the Nazis were getting some type of scientific result in the beginnings of the Holocaust. And then it got to. Because they all got so drugged out, not science and they just started mass murdering people. And so that's when they pulled in and said, get these camps out of here. But there is some thought that maybe FDR or Truman at the time knew and Winston Churchill knew about it. And they're like, you know, if there's, if they're getting science out of it, you know, maybe we should just like, you know.
B
Yeah, let's just see what they come up with.
A
I mean.
B
Yeah, we're not doing it. Yeah, yeah, we're not doing it. But we could benefit from whatever they learned.
A
It's kind of a, it's kind of a weird part of history. It's possible that's a full conspiracy cutie. But in the research we learned about that.
B
Yeah, yeah, it's very possible.
A
So what do you think? Winston Churchill, hero or villain?
B
Cuz absolute her. Yeah, I think it's one of those, one of those cases in history where a guy's personality pushes history forward and pushes good over evil. I really do. This was. You can get boggled down in all that's. This is what's so horrible about times like this because like you said, guys got to make horrible decisions where you're sacrificing one people for another. You're sacrificing lives for other lives. A lot of Saving Private Ryan moments happen.
A
Right.
B
But Ultimately he was the guy that first saw what kind of threat Hitler was. He first understood he was and what he was about. And he was ringing the alarm. Nobody was listening. Everyone was scared. Chamberlain saw what kind of military beast he was, didn't want. He was like, maybe we'll cut a deal. And he was appeasing him. And it was really only Winston Churchill that was, that was signaling the alarm for the rest of the world that this guy's going, he wants to burn people. He wants to take over the world. He wants to be a fascist, he's racist and it's bad for democracy. And his efforts single handedly to continue to woo fdr, woo fdr. Come on, baby, I love you.
A
Get in. Yeah. And he got in and he got.
B
Him in and that was that.
A
Who does Winston Churchill sound a lot like?
B
He saved the fucking world, make zero mistake about it. Yeah.
A
So you want to. If there's a McDonald's in your country right now, you're fucking welcome. Okay? Cuz. Yeah, because it could have been an oven in there.
B
It could have been a fucking oven in there. People going in there and it would be just schnitzel. You.
A
Yeah.
B
Imagine going to a five star restaurant. All you have is hot dogs.
A
Exactly. You're welcome. And, and let's just be crystal clear here, okay. Winston Churchill was predicting this was warning the people and nobody listened. So he is Alex Jones.
B
He was right.
A
Like Alex Jones is my prime minister.
B
Yeah. He was way ahead of the game. Like Alex Jones.
A
Alex Jones is wild. And he was calling shit out since like he called Epstein out in like 2003. Yeah.
B
And Dunkirk, which is. You're just to emphasize Dunkirk again. Dude. That could have been the end of it. That could have been the end of it if he couldn't get, what was it, 400,000 soldiers. He had no way to get him out. And he goes, what was it called? Operation get him out or something?
A
Yeah. What was it called?
B
Operation Barbossa.
A
Barbosa is the one that was Russia. Barbosa.
B
So whatever his operation was, he said everyone with a boat. He said he went to the citizens. He said everyone with a boat.
A
Yeah.
B
We got to get these people up. He ended up getting like 330,000 of them out. When they were predicting maybe we get 40,000, 50,000 if. And that was basically a majority of the British military.
A
Yeah. And I could tell them out. I could tell because pulled out when.
B
He needed to pull out.
A
That's what it is. Because he's better than me like that.
B
Yeah.
A
And I could tell that Giannis is now back in the game, because make no mistake, we talked about that exact fact 30 minutes ago. But his eyes were here. Yeah, but then they finally came back together. When he started, I just noticed that the eyes came back, and then he's back in the game.
B
Back in the game. Because I don't know if you brought up that they. He used all the boats from the citizens.
A
That's what did. You said it said. I kind of said it word for word.
B
All right.
A
But your eyes were here.
B
Yeah. So I just missed it. So now I'm back.
A
But now you're back and you're laser focused and you got the bullseye back because you're Yanni Bulls.
B
And did you say that it would have. It could have, like, ended?
A
I mean, word for word for word, what it is.
B
Yeah.
A
But we're friends and you're back, and I'm happy. I'm happy that Yanni's back drinking a boxed water. So you gave me water in a box.
B
In a box. But I mean, so, I mean, it could all. It could have all changed right there, and that could have been it. And then Dynamo.
A
Dynamo. And then we wouldn't have had Jesse because they would have killed Jesse's mother. Jesse would have been out of here. We probably still would be here as slaves, though. You could actually. No, I would.
B
You would find.
A
I would be Matt, right?
B
Yeah, you'd be fine.
A
I'd be on top of the game. I have my hair dyed blonde and.
B
Worthy whites like me and Jesse would.
A
Be out because I would be kissing the mirror.
B
Just. You'd be in a good place.
A
I'd be in a good place, yeah. You guys would be out.
B
We'd be totally out. So you got to give the guy.
A
A lot of credit, I think, also hero to me. I understand. When you look through history, you could see a lot of people did bad things. George Washington had slaves. Gandhi, you know, Churchill, you know, let India starve. MLK used to cheat on his wife and hit her. Everybody's got something.
B
Yeah.
A
Okay. But the bottom line is they're great men because they're great men. All right?
B
Overall net. They're great men.
A
Overall net. Great men. They've done. They've done 10,000 times more than their critics have ever done in their life. That's why I go to that man in the arena speech with Teddy Roosevelt. That's huge. You know, critics are, by essence, weak people that they can't. They don't have the spirit to lead. I mean, you show me someone who critiques for a living, I show you a weak person.
B
Yeah.
A
Because these leaders, they're not critiquing anybody. They're just blowing shit up, getting shit done.
B
They got to make tough decisions and they don't overthink it and they just do it.
A
Yeah.
B
I mean think about D Day when they were using all those fake planes. They were ingenious. Yes. Because they, they weren't like the better place to invade would have been closer to Belgium. But they tricked them, trick the Germans and they came in on Normandy and they set up all those fake military apparatus.
A
Well, basically, like, like Thanksgiving Day parade float. ABC Wednesdays Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.
B
Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out.
A
What the rest of my life looks like. So a couple of days when his.
B
Daughter moves back in.
A
The last time you walked out that.
B
Door, you looked back at me and gave me a double bird. I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations. The wheels come off. Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults? Have you watched the news lately? That's not a thing anymore.
A
New Wednesdays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.
B
Yeah. Just like fake tanks and fake planes.
A
And they came in.
B
Yeah. And they snuck attack them back.
A
And D Day, you know, Utah beach and Omaha beach, which. Cuz I would love to go to Normandy. I think that's when we.
B
Let's storm the beach.
A
Here's the thing. You ready for this? Ready for this? We're not going to be like, we're not going to have, you know, these, these money goals or whatever on Patreon. But what I will say is here's. You ready for this?
B
I'm ready.
A
When we get, when we get to. Right now we have 10,000 ish members at patreon.com history history hyena 10,500. When we get to 25,000 members, we're.
B
Going to fucking Normandy.
A
We're going in. Ready for this?
B
Yeah.
A
Go to patreon.com historynas join because we have a lot of content and a lot of fun. But when we get to 25,000 members, here's what we're going to do. Me, you and Jesse are going to go to Normandy and we're going to pick one lucky Patreon member and we're going to take them with us when we get to 25,000 members. So that's the only way you can get in the sweepstakes. We will take you with us now. 99.9 chance. If you're a piece, you're going to get picked. Just know we are going to look at your profile pictures and it's going to be random, but it's just randomly going to be an absolute, absolute fucking smoke show that we're taking to Normandy.
B
It's a looks based contest.
A
It's what it is. So you're hot.
B
Yeah. And if you're not hot, get plastic surgery. Go for it.
A
25,000 members. So we got a ways to go, but we are going to Normandy because I want to go to Omaha beach and Utah Beach. I want to see where this glorious D day happened. You know what's wild too about Normandy. And then we'll get to the Patreon names. You know, they buried. The German government wants to take the Nazi soldiers bodies back or bury them, whatever. And the British government, I'm sorry, the French government said, no, we'll bury them. You can keep their bodies here, but we're going to bury them with black crosses. So there's a whole field of black crosses and it's. The Nazi soldiers buried them.
B
I want to see that, too.
A
I want to see that.
B
Yeah, I want to see that.
A
Did you take a piss on.
B
Yeah, like I did. Remember, I took a piss in this. On the, on the Confederacy when we.
A
Went to the Battle of Antietam. When we went to Antietam battlefield in Maryland, Giannis took a piss where these Southern Confederate soldiers were buried. And make no mistake, that's a federal offense that the Biden administration would have given you jail time for. Where the Trump administration will give you a tax break for that.
B
Yeah, we had fun.
A
We did have fun. We did have fun.
B
This will be fun. Yeah.
A
And we're going to go and listen. We don't know if it's fully announced yet, but there's a chance it might be announced. Go to history hyenas is back.com or christycomedy.com or yanispoppetscomedy.com we are doing right now, as it stands, a live History Hyenas in Washington, D.C. on Saturday, January 18th. Saturday, January 18th, live history hyenas podcast in Washington, D.C. we don't know the venue yet, but it might be on sale by the time this episode comes out. So Live History Hyenas podcast drive from wherever we're doing, we're only going to do our live shows in the original 13 colonies. That's a rule.
B
That's just what we're Not.
A
We're not. We're just not going to desecrate this beautiful country and do a live historian show if it's not one of the original 13. And Washington, D.C. is not one of the original 13. But it is our nation's capital and we thought we'll start there.
B
That's right. And check me out in Austin this weekend. I'm shooting my special. I don't know if there's tickets left, but if you listen to this, go to that. Also, be on the lookout for our live shows we may start doing in New York City. That's gonna be fun.
A
Might start doing those on a weekly basis. But right now, one of our favorite parts of the show. You fans have told us your favorite parts of the show. We have a really good time. We read out the newest members of the Patreon, the matriarchy, as we call them. We are a little behind on names, so if you haven't heard, just because we get so many of them, we can only do two or three hundred at a time. So just know if you have not heard your name, your name is coming. Do not worry. Do not fret. We will get to it and we will catch up. But because of the love and support of our fan base, it's just taking a little bit longer. But it's fun. And of course, we pick the winner. We call them the pseudo penis of the week. And you will see your name if you have what we deem as the funniest name@history. Ianis is back.com. okay, so here we go. I'm going to start reading the names. These are the newest members of the matriarchy. Welcome, Justin. Is that like a swastika joke? That's security. That's security. So we're gonna have to usher you to the back. Nathan Hutchinson. Bo. Then we got Trump Picks for borders are AKA Secretary of Catapults. As Low K. Secretary of catapults.
B
Yeah. He's got to go the list.
A
Okay. So he's going on the list. So we have our first member on the list. Yeah. Thomas C. Sack. Kurt Diggler.
B
Kirk Diggler.
A
Eddie Bill James wants Chrissy to come in me in a different way. Fry.
B
Okay. Okay. It's a request.
A
All right. Colin McDougall. Tim Dillon.
B
Hi.
A
Tim Dillon's on the pod. Welcome. I was on the phone with you yesterday. Roman d. Kyle Clark. Piswad47. Jake Dog kW. Jeffrey Dahmer. Like chef.
B
I mean, that's a catapult.
A
That's on the list.
B
Like Jeffrey Dahmer.
A
Cannibal. Jeffrey Dahmer. You called him Chef Free Dahmer.
B
Yeah, Put him on the list.
A
He is a chef.
B
That's the contender. That's a catapult.
A
Okay. Putting a star next to it. Sam Enard. Then we got Yanni popping my moonly.
B
Okay. Okay.
A
All right. No fumes.
B
Nick like that guy.
A
Chicken finger straight to the back. Just kidding. I'm gay.
B
Funny. Drexler.
A
Okay. Brit Ian Fry. Christopher Hayes. Andrew E.K. 12. Brendan Sullivan. Then we got Matt. Still waiting for Chrissy D to crack me open and eat lakeside maple out of my smash bean.
B
It's a mouthful.
A
Yeah, but good, good. Lucid M. Patrick Rudzick. Matt Gill. Jteski. Then we got Schifferney. Then we got Logan. My bomb. Then we got father. $3 bill. Touched my Asti. Okay. Christopher Riley. Coach C. Mark Y. Chris Shackleton. Hairless Wo. Hairless wap with a juiced up lollipop. Hashtag for the table.
B
Drexler.
A
Good one.
B
Strong one.
A
You were close, but you didn't make it. But for the table. It's just the fans love for the table. We love for the table. I say for the table. Always. Chrissy Kamal. Chrissy Kamala is jacked off a Chihuahua. Okay.
B
Okay.
A
Travis Downing. Douglas Areski. Rebecca Showers. Matthew Corrado. Kalyn Groves. Then we got Carkle. TT says my communion water is for the table. Fart hog. Farron Wallentine. Then we got a piece from South Jersey, but call me ctm, okay?
B
Okay.
A
Peter Scofella. Then we got Cackle Free videos or taking the boys up to Poughkeepsie.
B
Okay.
A
You can get cacrafee videos@patreon.com history$level. They're there. Kelvin Z. Tucked in Trump's Santor 8254. AOC is for Rome, but Pete's Buttigieg is for the table.
B
Drexer. Structure.
A
That was great. Good one, Joel. Marvin, Michael Casey, booze. Zek Omichi. 33. Anthony Dolan's Dom, Frank Captain. Then we got Veg Gog. God dang it. Bobby Ryan Randolph, Stephen Keddie. Then we got. Always play the trump card. Kukleman, 710 wheel. Cool guy. Stacy Tobacco. Graham Hill. Graham Hall. Colton Tenelo, Nick Spencer, Alex nesdial, Gabriel Courtney, J.D. vance. Welcome. Valentino Calderon. Justin Jackson. $2 bill.
B
Great kid.
A
There it is. Donnie Jones. Bag of Bones. Then we got the present. Isn't friendly with me, so my feet are at Ladder 14 because my life is a character piece.
B
Funny.
A
Drexler Jean. So tight. J.B. molly Lang, Michael Lasasso, Mr. Wargasm, Abby Rendles. Then we got Sand Trap Squeak with a glue gun leak. It's got an std. Yeah, yeah.
B
Drexler on the fence.
A
Okay. Andrew Mar. Dave, Johnny Grant, Ash. Then we got Poking for Hyenas Return Like Max and Steubens Watching bulls piston in 91.
B
I like.
A
Okay, Yeah, I like it.
B
Drexler. Drexler.
A
Matt K. Gibbons. Then we got AOC Please Touch My Wee Wee.
B
It's a nice request.
A
It's a request.
B
It's very funny. I'm going to Drexler it.
A
Then we got Stormy Daniels, Come Dumpster. Okay.
B
Chicken Finger.
A
Ben Stodden, Austin Greens. Then we got Harvey. Suck my dick, babe. I can't give you the part in the movie unless you suck my dick, babe.
B
We put them on the list. Yeah.
A
Okay. Suck my dick, babes. Old school.
B
Yeah, yeah.
A
Then we got J. J, I live in Howard beach, so of course I'm Ladder 14. Okay. Okay.
B
It's nice to know where you're at.
A
Syrup monkey moving his vegetables to the HHFFs. What's a syrup monkey? Maybe they're from Vermont.
B
Probably a Canadian.
A
A Canadian.
B
Canadian.
A
Then we got half Namine, half Sandy. I put hot sauce in my Hummy.
B
Okay.
A
Dawson Barber. Nicole McCauley. Then we got Sergio Chacon's Exotic Snake Dealer.
B
That's on the list.
A
That's on the list.
B
Hilarious.
A
Shane Ormas. Don't.
B
Oh.
A
We only got four minutes. Right. Bobby B. With Tiny Pee Pee. Marissa and I kissed once. It's what it is. Matt Williams, hunky polka monkey. Offended me with the squeak sauce. Father Bill here for the convent list. List. I mean, that's. You know, he's banging. He said he's banging the nuts.
B
Yes.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so we got Bill Cosby's Margarita machine on the list. On the list. Vinnie the Guinea Chicken finger. Chicken finger is nice. Yeah. Then we got Rocky Riley. Matt Sampson, Jeff Rubino. Then we got Canadian Cuzzy Eating Lemon sucker box. Got my breath smelling like fumariar unfiltered. I mean, I walk into one.
B
Walk into one. Security, but also Drexler.
A
Yeah. Lemon sucker boxes. Lemon sucker box. Might have just been your name.
B
He went lemon sucker box. You would have got a catapult.
A
Yeah.
B
Well, good.
A
Very good, Francisco. Then we got Julio. Alejandro Alvarado. Okay. Cade Terrell. Then we got Joe. Sometimes when I'm feeling squirrely, I let my glue dry in my shorts and curlies. In my short and curlies. Damn victim of a Bad read.
B
Still funny. Drexer.
A
Then we got Bobby Kennedy's Throat Warts.
B
Chicken Fish.
A
Okay. Whisko. Guy with nine DUIs. Funny.
B
Yeah.
A
KJB. Liam, Daniel Glouer, Jake Norton. Then we got Vegetable Mover.
B
The kid likes to drink.
A
It's what it is.
B
Chicken Figure.
A
Nick Fazio, Michael Campbell. Then we got Sean Chico, Berkowitz, Esquire iii. Josh Clower, New Jersey Ramos, African Rose. Justin Guai Wei. Sean King. Which we've had.
B
Yeah, but still good shout out to a great one.
A
Then we got Straight Anal Sipster needing a gooch mooch. Mr. Drexler, the Romanian Grass Sniffer gorging on a fume feast. Welcome to the Wild, Wild East.
B
Inventiveness. Gets him on the list. Inventive.
A
Then we got Destroy My Bean Gang. Bang me, Ladder 14.
B
Funny fact throughout the list.
A
List. Make no mistake, Matriarchy. Maddie's got a loaded glue gun.
B
Kid is locked and loaded with a nice Drexler.
A
Yeah. Then we got Tranny Hunter. I mean, Tyranny Hunter. Damn. Autocorrect.
B
On the list.
A
On the list.
B
Now it's just invention, guys. So invented.
A
Yeah, I thought. I thought I was walking into one. And then they saved it. Yes.
B
Imagination. Yeah.
A
Then we got Pat Maroonies. Firehouse Man Gravy.
B
Okay. Hey, I love that. Drexler. Strog. Drexler.
A
Then we got Chris. Make no mistake, I'm a F, a G. DiStefano walked into one. I walked into one. Because he wrote I M A, E, F, A, Y, G, E, E. Yeah. So he. I walked into one.
B
He walked into one. It's a. Security.
A
Yeah, Security. But it's funny.
B
Yeah, very funny.
A
Craig Keselowski. Matt Powers.
B
What a Pollock. Yeah.
A
What a Pollock. Then we got Dr. Etar. Dead. I don't know. Who's Dr. Etor?
B
Doctor. Doctor with R E tar. Dead. So he's doctor.
A
Yeah.
B
Walked in.
A
I walked into another one. Yeah.
B
And for that one, you get it. You get on the list for that one.
A
Yeah, you're on the list. I mean, that's the second one I walked into.
B
Now they're writing them to sneak them by you.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good one. Yeah. Alex Alviso. Then we got Chrissy. The FF loves Chrissy. The FF Loves Squeaker Blue Glue. Okay.
B
Okay.
A
Big Gooch Ross Cook. Then we got Fumars. Stoudemire's Uncut Glue Gun Shooting Cackle Spackle. I think we've had. That's an old Cackle Spackle's funny.
B
Yeah, it's a funny one. Drexler. For that I think we had Fumari Stoudemire, too.
A
Then we got. I have Fumes cuz I shot in Desert Storm. Okay, that's security. Security, yeah. Then we got Troy Toddy Shuck. Then we got Uncut Dutch Cuck, AKA Stroopwafel Monkey.
B
Let's put him on the list.
A
List. Then we got Screwed in and Glued In. And now I got Jungle Fumes, Dracula. Then we got Squan Chopotomus, Dimitri Elchamsky, Christopher Ward, Kyle Boojiga, zb, Donnie the Democrat, Red Cricket, Grant Cramey, James Skinner. Then we got Anton. Oh, shit, this is a long one. Antonio, AKA Tony Polish. Peace. Told my devout wife I'd give her something long and hard on our wedding night. But I didn't tell her it was my last name.
B
It's good.
A
It's the longest name we've ever had.
B
It's the longest day we ever had. And it didn't disappoint at the end. That's funny. A strong Drexler.
A
Strong Drexler.
B
Really good. Strong Drexler on any other day.
A
Then we got Ben and Allison. Jen Jones, William Virgin. Then we got Frozen Grapes in My Ass. Then walk around like a deer.
B
Yeah, put them on the list.
A
Okay.
B
Yeah, put them on the list. And that is what you call a contender. That's what you call a strong contender. Putting frozen grapes in his ass and walk around like a deer.
A
Yeah.
B
They pellets you're talking about maybe a Hall of Famer there.
A
Yeah, this is a good one. Yeah. This is why you have to keep listening to the list, because you just. Even if it seems like a weak list, you just never know when you get Mike at a Hall of Famer in there.
B
And I just thought that earlier guy was going to win, but it looks like. It looks like he may be Drexler.
A
Taylor Eastman. The big bad baller himself. Then we got my squeak piece, Fits With Ease. No need for Grease.
B
Okay.
A
Kenneth Roy. Okay, we'll do another page.
B
Yeah.
A
Then we got jb. Then we got Hurstery Hyena. Then we got knocked up my Korean girlfriend and watered down my white Jeans. Now my son's gonna have a small peen Drexler.
B
Funny, funny.
A
Garrett Burns. Then we got Robot to Human Hair. Okay. Brett Hanneran. Seth Keegan. Mateo Marino. Dylan Fontana. Dylan Gay. Best pal, Kippy Low Key. Steph Whitney's Tits.
B
Chicken Finger.
A
Chicken Finger. Bobby Defries. Then we got Rosa Parks. Had a drop Top Caddy. Okay. Patrick T. Carew, Brendan Orozco, Gavin O'Neill, Tim Waltz, Lumpy Moose, Knuckle Paul. Corrupt. Dustin Linder, Giselle's BJJ teacher. Did we have that already?
B
I don't know, but it's. It's. It's a chicken finger.
A
Hayden, Sean Burton Miller, John Rosario, Gene Sack. Lack of chrome Mahomes. Okay.
B
Lack of chrome homes.
A
Not bad.
B
Inventive. And it's just. It's on any other day, but I'm sorry. The guy put frozen grapes in his ass and he's shit. Walks around shit like a deer.
A
So you're Drexler, Jamal Bartlett, Miguel Ramos, Alex Diaz. Then we got it's over. Johnny DCR Jr, William Charles Phillips. Westfall, Ryan Dunphy, Fumala Harry Puss, Chase Hayden, Michael Bishop, Z, Mike Hahn, Timothy Lepitra, Connor Flood, gay priest, James McJunkin. Then we got Non Toot, Got Fumes, Fat Man's Got Boobs. Okay, okay. Chrissy Kayas, Andy Mine, andy mino@gmail.com. screwed in.
B
Screwed in.
A
Put his email in.
B
Yeah.
A
Then we got Thaddeus Cannon, Banjo Buck. Then we got Kamala on my mike. And Ike Elginson. Okay. Justin Vickers, Ricardo Carrillo. Bout that life 2023. Doug Emhoff's clean Right Hook Molly, Shane Behar, Joe B. I got Catapulted over the wall. Brandon McGowan, Nicholas Babbitt, Ty Vandy, Zach. Then we got. Here we Go, Trouble D. Then we got Uncle Russie's Best in show, Fuzzy, Cuz he's good.
B
All right, do we. Do we have enough? I don't want to ruin everybody.
A
I mean, do we have.
B
Okay, do we have enough? That's enough.
A
Yeah, let me just look if there's anyone. Okay. The only one.
B
You should just read them, Greg, because people like to hear their names. Yeah, just read that page to finish that last page.
A
Okay. Yeah, we'll do one more. One more page and that's it. T, Double D, Uncle. All right. Uncle Russie's Best in Show, Fuzzy Cousy, Justin Kowlowski, Dick Baby, Tyson Corley. Then we got Frank Marinara in My Name, but Potatoes in My Blood, Di Lorenzo. Then we got the Overshadowed podcast Screwed In. John Baker. Straight to the Back, Shot Jenny.
B
Straight to the back Shot Jenny's. Oh, that's a really good Drexler. Chicken finger and a Drexler, because a good simple one.
A
Then we got Bronnie Half Scrotz, AKA Pseudo Jihadi, AKA Too High for Fire Department. Okay.
B
Okay. They're both wordy A little Wordy. Yeah.
A
Dago Millathich. Brandon De La Rosa, Joe Arias. Then we got Feral Father Bills. Unholy History hole. Lou. Then we got Shannon Sharp's Instagram. Mute button. Big fart of the show. Keith Scanlon. Maddie Slice. Oh, big fan of the show. Sorry. Cal Tata Sonico. Joe Logan. Then we got a Leroy from Atlanta. Shoved it down my throat, and now I sound like RFK.
B
Contender.
A
Contender. See? Okay. Yeah, that's the one I saw.
B
You never know. Yeah.
A
Mitch. Micah Abbott, Gus S. Lo. K S. Hernandez. Not a pretty palboy. Blake Beard, Lucas Jalovsky, Schillmeyer, Holly Ant. Cap 1. Kyle Conley, Brendan Young, Chris Panucci, Austin Chip Japansky, Drew De Jew, AKA BB Netton. Ye Fumes. Okay, sorry. Andrew Nicholl, Marty G. Cole. Hair sign. Kevin Lentini, Barry McCochner. Fumario and Gluigi.
B
Put him on the list.
A
Okay. Okay. That was another good one.
B
It's gonna be a tough one.
A
This one's gonna be a tough one. Then we got kielbasa and beans. Because I'm a Pollock Drexler.
B
Funny.
A
Half potato monkey, half TP toot. I got a DUI at 18. Aaron's dead. Josh C. Liz Small Costa Jonokis, Lauren Marandino. Gk. Then we got Marky the Leroy, AKA Schultz's favorite eunuch.
B
Ah, Drexler. On any other day, Rick Taylor.
A
Hey Bert, Chrissy D. And Yanni P. Are Franks and Beans. Jason Ward. True. You up? Yanni. Jamming yams with Chrissy Cum Socks. Kippy Vandaje, Jeffrey Oliver and Joey B. Yep. So that is. That's the list for now. So let's read the contenders. Thank you, everyone. Joining the Patreon. Okay, so here we go. These are the. These are the contenders. We actually don't know who the clear cut winner is on this. Now we're going to take a chance.
B
No.
A
So we got a Leroy from Atlanta, shoved it down my throat, and now I sound like RFK contender. Okay, that's a contender. So we're going to. We're going to contender. So I'm circling this one.
B
That's a contender.
A
Okay. Fumario and Gluigi.
B
It's a tough Drexler. On any other day that kids win. And that's tough.
A
It's tough.
B
That's tough.
A
That's what it is. The Romanian grass sniffer gorging on a fume feast. Welcome to the wild, wild East.
B
Beautiful wine. It's getting Drexler.
A
Destroy my bean gang. Bang me. Lie to 14.
B
Any other day. Drexlered.
A
Tranny Hunter. I mean, Tyranny Hunter. Damn. Autocorrect.
B
Contender.
A
Okay.
B
Contender.
A
Dr. E. Tarded.
B
Any other day.
A
Okay. Uncut, uncut, Dutch, aka stroopwafel monkey.
B
Any other day.
A
Okay, that's out.
B
We know what's going on.
A
Okay. Then we got frozen grapes in my ass. Then walk around shitting like a D. So that's. That's.
B
That's the contender.
A
These. Okay. So right now we have. And then there's just a couple more. Harvey sucked my dick, babe. I can't give you the part in the movie unless you suck my dick, babe. Weinstein.
B
Yeah. Drexler.
A
Drexler.
B
1.
A
Sergio Chacon's Exotic snake dealer.
B
Amazing. Drexler.
A
Drexler. Father Bill here for the convent.
B
So good. But Drexler. Yeah, yeah.
A
Bill Cosby's Margarita machine.
B
Good one. Chicken finger.
A
Chicken finger a pain.
B
It's Drexler. Justice cracking up.
A
Trump's pick for borders are AKA Secretary of Catapults. Slow Ks.
B
Very good one. Drexler.
A
Drexler. Yeah. Then we got Sheffrey Dahmer.
B
Contender.
A
Contender. Okay, so let's get to the.
B
Damn it. This may be the hardest one yet.
A
Here's the contenders, folks. Okay. This between these four. Chef Dahmer, Tranny Hunter. I mean, Tyranny Hunter. Damn. Autocorrect, frozen grapes in my ass. Then walk around like a deer. Or a Leroy from Atlanta. Shoved it down my throat, and now I sound like rfk. Who is the ppw, Folks, we got four to pick from.
B
Let me be honest with you. This is one of the toughest one we've ever had.
A
This is why you're. Because you're Winston Churchill. I do not have the power because I'm Neville Chamberlain. I'm a pussy. I'm suing for peace.
B
How hard is this? Yeah, this is impossible, dude.
A
This is. But it's up to you. You are the lead. You're. Some will consider you a hero, some a villain. Yeah, you're in the seat.
B
Give me the first one.
A
Okay, we got Chef. Sorry. The first one is Tranny Hunter. I mean, Tyranny Hunter. Damn. Autocorrect.
B
So good.
A
So is that still in or.
B
I hate to do this. This is like. This is Sophie's Choice shit, right? I'm gonna dress for that kid. I hate it. It. I hate it. This is just how tough this gets.
A
Okay, so then we got. It's really. Oh, and then we also have Sheffrey Dahmer.
B
Sheffrey Dahmer is A contender.
A
They're still in. Okay, so then it's between Chef Dahmer. Yeah, it's between Sheffrey Dahmer. A Leroy from Atlanta shoved it down my throat, and now I sound like rfk or frozen grapes in my ass. Then I walk around shitting like a deer. Which one is it? I can't help you, cuz.
B
No, no, this may be one. I feel bad for that guy that just got Drexed, because any other day that's winning. This may just be one where we got three winners. I mean, how do you pick between those three, bro?
A
How do you want to put on.
B
How do you literally pick between those three? Like, how do you do it? So Chef Dahmer. Yeah, maybe he's Drexler. Okay.
A
That. Okay. Okay. So Sheriff is sad for me to. It's sad because it's. It's a. It's actual. A Hall of fame name.
B
It's a Hall of fame name. He's just on the wrong list. And that's the definition of a Drexler.
A
He's just on the wrong list. So then we got a Leroy from Atlanta, shoved it down my throat, and now I sound like rfk or frozen grapes in my ass. Then I walk around shitting like a deer.
B
For me, I mean, I don't know what to do, Jesse. I don't know what to do.
A
What do you like?
B
I'm going frozen grapes.
A
Okay.
B
It's the most original one I've heard so far. It's very original. But, I mean, how funny is a Leroy stubbed his dick is. And now he sounds, like, hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We just may have to do a vote on this one.
A
So what you. So Jesse's got frozen grapes in the ass, and what do you got? Because then I'll be the third deciding vote.
B
Okay. All right. You're right. So listen, the. The RFK one, it should be a winner if we gave them both.
A
Okay.
B
We have to pick one is what you're saying.
A
Yeah.
B
For me, it's going frozen grapes. I walked like a deer.
A
That's the one.
B
Yeah. Because it's just a funny fact.
A
So it's both funny.
B
Yeah. It's one of the toughest ones we've ever had.
A
It's the closest battle. Battle I think we've ever had. It came down to the absolute wire. But congratulations to a frozen. Frozen grapes in my ass. Then walk around like a deer. You are ppw. You will see your name up at history.
B
Yeah, that was a tough thank you.
A
Folks, for being a part of the Patreon. We love you. Go check us out. Remember Washington, D.C. january 18th, live history hyena show. Our very first one, so go check it out. Christy comedy.com giannispompuscomedy.com Go see Yanis this shoot a special this weekend in Austin and then come see me in Miami December 28th to the 31st and patreon.com historyainas where we're going right now to tell you all about Operation Unthinkable and some other fun facts.
History Hyenas: Winston Churchill Keep Calm & Cackle On
Episode Release Date: December 19, 2024
Hosts: Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas
Podcast: History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas
Title: Winston Churchill Keep Calm & Cackle On
[00:41] Chris:
Chris kicks off the episode by highlighting Churchill's distinctive personality and physical presence. He humorously remarks, "Churchill got bigger, emotionally and physically. I mean, the kid was fat. If Humpty Dumpty was a movie right now, it'd be played by Winston Churchill."
[01:05] Yannis:
Yannis adds to Churchill's quirky image, joking about his fashion choices: "He wore a onesie like a baby."
[01:15] Chris:
The hosts delve into common misunderstandings Americans have about British politics. Chris shares an anecdote, "They called Downing Street 10 Downing Street like their White House. And then the Prime Minister, you know, because the president."
[01:38] Yannis:
Yannis clarifies the difference between England and Great Britain, pointing out, "I don't think the average American knows that England and Britain are the same country."
[05:09] Chris:
The conversation shifts to Churchill's early political missteps, particularly the Gallipoli Campaign during World War I. Chris explains, "He made a big mistake planning Gallipoli. Thousands of Australian and New Zealand soldiers lost their lives, and people hated Churchill for it."
[06:18] Yannis:
Yannis echoes the severity of the failure, stating, "It's a disaster."
[07:13] Yannis:
Yannis discusses Churchill's determination to change his leadership approach post-Gallipoli: "From this point on, I'm going to do things my way. No more committee decisions."
[15:28] Chris:
Reflecting on Churchill's resilience, Chris recounts how Churchill rose from political exile to become a military leader again, emphasizing his hands-on approach: "He legit fought. He was the guy that history says stood up to Hitler."
[19:27] Yannis:
Yannis highlights Churchill’s commitment, "He was a guy did not shy away from danger."
[16:07] Chris:
The hosts explore Churchill's strategic efforts to secure American support during WWII. Chris humorously suggests, "Churchill wrote a thousand letters to FDR trying to get America's help."
[16:18] Yannis:
Yannis adds, "He begged FDR to join the war because he knew if the Americans didn't join, we'd be done."
[18:11] Yannis:
Discussing the Dunkirk evacuation, Yannis praises Churchill's leadership: "He ended up getting 330,000 soldiers back off the shores from Dunkirk."
[24:03] Chris:
Chris underscores the significance of the Battle of Britain, noting Churchill's famous resolve: "We're going to fight them in the air. We will never surrender."
[43:58] Yannis:
The debate intensifies as the hosts question Churchill's legacy. Yannis states, "There is no one person in history who's gone on to become a hero that people don't also think is a villain."
[44:13] Yannis:
Yannis concludes, "Ultimatey, he was the guy that first saw what kind of threat Hitler was and was ringing the alarm."
[44:26] Chris:
Chris reinforces Churchill’s heroism despite his flaws: "You've never been put in a position like Churchill. He had to make horrible decisions, but he was the one signaling the alarm for the rest of the world."
[37:14] Yannis:
Yannis introduces conspiracy theories surrounding Churchill, such as Operation Unthinkable, which proposed a hypothetical conflict between the Western Allies and the Soviet Union post-WWII.
[43:06] Chris:
Chris speculates on the possibility of Churchill influencing events to secure American involvement, humorously suggesting secret negotiations over sushi: "Maybe Churchill sat down with Emperor Hirohito and made a little sushi deal."
[34:43] Yannis:
Yannis draws parallels between Churchill and contemporary figures like Donald Trump, noting similarities in their political trajectories and relationship with their respective constituencies.
[35:12] Chris:
Chris continues, "They both had strong personalities and led their countries through tumultuous times."
[48:24] Chris:
Reflecting on historical figures, Chris acknowledges that even great men like Churchill had significant flaws: "George Washington had slaves, Gandhi let India starve... everybody's got something."
[48:49] Yannis:
Yannis summarizes Churchill’s complex legacy, "Ultimately, he was the guy that saved the world from Nazi domination."
[51:35] Chris:
Chris humorously ties back to their podcast community, emphasizing the importance of remembering historical figures with all their complexities: "We love you. You're welcome, because it could have been an oven in there."
Throughout the episode, Chris and Yannis encourage listeners to engage with their Patreon community, participate in live shows, and interact through humorous giveaways and contests. They blend historical analysis with their signature comedic style, making complex historical events both informative and entertaining.
In this episode, History Hyenas provides a multifaceted and humorous exploration of Winston Churchill's role in history. Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas dissect Churchill's strengths, flaws, and enduring legacy, all while maintaining their comedic rapport. They encourage listeners to appreciate the complexities of historical figures and recognize the difficult decisions leaders must make in times of crisis.
For those interested in a blend of history and humor, this episode offers an engaging take on one of history's most iconic leaders.