On today’s episode, I’m joined by therapist, speaker, and host of The Dude Therapist Podcast, Eli Weinstein. Eli works extensively with couples and families, and his upcoming book From I Do to We Do explores what really happens to relationships once kids enter the picture.

Because here’s the truth: most couples start parenting believing that love will carry them through. And while love absolutely matters, it’s not always enough to navigate the stress, exhaustion, invisible labor, and shifting roles that come with raising kids.

In this episode, we talk honestly about what happens to marriages during the parenting years, including the quiet resentment that can build when expectations go unspoken, the invisible mental load many parents carry, and why couples often feel like they’re both doing “120%.”

Eli shares practical ways couples can reconnect as teammates instead of adversaries, and why repair, not perfection, is what actually sustains long-term relationships.

In this episode, we talk about:

Why love alone doesn’t guide couples through the parenting years
How unmet expectations quietly turn into resentment
The mental load many parents carry, and how couples can share it more intentionally
The power of repair after rupture, and why genuine apologies matter more than perfect ones
Why successful marriages require choosing your partner again and again as life changes

My hope is that this conversation helps couples step out of scorekeeping and back into partnership. Parenting can easily pull partners into opposite corners. But when couples learn how to communicate, repair, and reconnect, they can remember that they’re actually on the same team.

Connect with Eli

Follow Eli on social media: @eliweinstein_lcsw
Get his book: From I Do to We Do

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Learn more about Dr. Cassidy and Co's therapy practice at www.drcassidymft.com

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156: What Couples Actually Need After Kids with Eli Weinstein