On this episode of Hope for the Caregiver, I talk about something that has taken me forty years to learn: I'm not chasing happiness anymore. I'm chasing healthiness.

Happiness depends on what's happening. Good lab report? I'm happy. Insurance approves something without a fight? That's practically a revival service. But caregiving doesn't offer steady circumstances. If my stability depends on things going well, I won't last long.

Joy is different. Joy is anchored. Joy rests in the unchanging character of God. I can be sorrowful and still rejoicing. I can sit in a hospital room and still be steady.

I share a real-life conversation with a mother struggling with her alcoholic son and explain how asking one simple question — "Is this healthy?" — can bring clarity when "right or wrong" only creates confusion.

I also talk about physical health, financial health, and spiritual health. I say it often because I have to hear it myself: I'm no good to Gracie if I'm fat, broke, and miserable. Healthy caregivers make better caregivers.

And I close with one of my father's favorite hymns, Lead On, O King Eternal — a reminder that caregiving is not about swords loud clashing, but about deeds of love and mercy.

If you're weary, discouraged, or just tired of trying to feel better in a life that may not improve, this episode is for you. You may not feel happy, but you can be healthier.

And you can be anchored.

Stop Chasing Happiness: A Caregiver's Guide to Real Joy