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- [00:02]
Acast Announcer
Acast powers the World's best Podcasts Here's a show that we recommend.
- [00:11]
Jameela Jamil
What if you laughed all through your commute? Or if you heard the funniest story while at the gym?
- [00:16]
Bill Nighy
Well, now you can.
- [00:17]
Jameela Jamil
I'm Jameela Jamil and guests on my new podcast Wrong Turns share their most mortifying and hilarious disaster stories. I'm talking people like Mae Martin, Bob the Drag Queen, Katherine Ryan, Jake Johnson, Margaret Cho, Simon Pegg Penn Bad, and so many more. So listen wherever you get your podcast. Ron Turns Where Dignity Goes to Die
- [00:41]
Acast Announcer
Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere acast.com Most people don't
- [00:50]
Aura Advertiser
realize how much of their personal information is being bought and sold every day. Data brokers are making billions, pulling details about you from public records and the Internet, then packaging and selling it, usually without your consent. That's how your information lands in the hands of scammers, spammers, even stalkers. It's why you get endless robocalls and why ads seem to follow you everywhere. That's where Aura comes in. Aura actively removes your data from broker sites and keeps it off. They also instantly alert you if your information shows up in a breach or on the dark web. But Aura goes beyond data protection. With one app you get a vpn, antivirus, password manager, spam call protection, Dark web monitoring, and even up to $5 million in identity theft insurance. All backed by 24, 7 US based fraud support. Other companies might sell just credit monitoring or just a vpn. Aura gives you all of it together at the same price competitors charge for just one service. Start your free trial today at aura.com safety protect yourself now@aura.com safety
- [01:59]
Acast Announcer
acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.
- [02:08]
Xin Yi Pai
Hi, I'm Xin Yi Pai. Five years ago I sat down in front of a microphone with a simple goal to share stories from the Asian American experience and to do that by talking about everyday objects. Now 10,000 Things is headed into its fifth and final season and we've got a new set of stories about coming fully into oneself, weird and wild and inspired. Tune in to the final season of 10,000 things from Acast Creative Studios, a podcast about modern day artifacts of Asian American life and the stories they reveal. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [02:56]
Acast Announcer
Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere acast.com.
- [03:10]
Bill Nighy
Good morning, good afternoon or good evening depending on where you are on the planet. This is Bill Nye, and this is ill advised by Bill Nye. And just before we begin with questions or playlists or any of the other features that I hope you enjoy, I'd just like to get something off my chest. Yep, I said the word chest. It's the fact that I'm on the run from fine dining, which I think of as an alibi for overcharging. Worst of all is where they come up between the nine courses and tell you how the tiny piece of food you've just been presented with was prepared and what it contains. That's when I feel a combination of wanting desperately to go to sleep or to buy a gun, one of the two. And I had an American friend, in fact, Autumn de Wilde, the celebrated film director and photographer and music video director. We were in the environs of London and I was trying to introduce it to English, you know, food. And we kept being trapped in fine dining situations where you have to sit up straight and there's an air of gravity about, you know, and people move very quietly and speak in a lowly tone as if something religious was happening. I love going to restaurants and I love food, but I'm also on the run at occurs to me from fine writing, which I think is the same as what I heard a publisher refer to once as window pane prose. And I think what window pane prose means is that it's so spare that the writer runs no risk whatsoever of being busted for anything. It's sort of neutral. It's also a blueprint for a television series. It's just like a treatment for a movie rather than anything actually literary. And it's just long form cowardice. There's a difference between successful sparse prose and prose where you're just trying not to get caught. I only put those two things together because they've got the word fine in them. They have no other connection. Anyway, there you are. My chest is, if you'll pardon the expression. I've said it again, my chest is clear. Thank you for that. I needed it. I don't suppose you did, but it just made me feel a whole lot better.
- [05:48]
Podcast Listener
Hi, Bill, It's Elizabeth from Toronto.
- [05:51]
Bill Nighy
I think men should embrace manicures. What do you think?
- [05:55]
Podcast Listener
Love to hear your thoughts.
- [05:56]
Bill Nighy
Hey, Elizabeth, where do I stand on manicures? I'm all for manicures and I'm all for pedicures. And they've become a regular part of my life, and I don't mind saying it out loud. I never used to have manicures. Rather than manicures, what I used to do was bite my nails savagely. And I bit my nails long after you're supposed to have stopped biting your nails. When I was young, I would sit on the sofa next to my mum watching tv and I would unconsciously start to bite my nails. And my mother would, without even looking at me, would just backhand me in the face to stop me doing it. And my sister, forgive me, Anna, for saying this, my sister used to chew her hair so she'd be on one side of my mum and I'd be on the other side chewing my nails. And intermittently, my mother would backhand my sister in the mouth and backhand me in the mouth in a loving way, just to discourage us. But when I got to about 57 and I was still biting my nails, which is obviously embarrassing, and I tried all that painting stuff on it and doing that, which didn't taste any good, but I didn't mind that it didn't taste any good. I just still wanted to bite my nails. But I had to play a romantic part, and I had to be romantic with a very, very, very beautiful actor who I was quite uneasy about even being in the room with, frankly, without having to simulate any kind of passion with her. And my nails were a disgrace. So I said to the makeup designer, what can we do? And she said, well, we'll get you a manicure with what's left and we'll manicure the remains of your nails. And they did that. And the young lady who did it, she put on some clear varnish, which was thrilling. I'd never had respectable nails before in my life. I started to bite my nails as soon as, you know, I could find my hand. And I had these slightly shiny nails, which was just great, and I loved it and it did actually work. And then I took to having manicures regularly because they were so kind of great. And then my Natalia, who was my manicurist, used to say, you should have a pedicure. And I was. I was a caveman in those days. And I imagined that pedicures was something that only women did. And I always avoided it. But then eventually I did have a. A pedicure. And it was one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me. And now I have what I'm going to risk calling a mani pedi. I know. My team of highly paid, highly powered professionals are open mouthed that I've used the expression mani pedi, which is apparently on the bandword list, or if it wasn't on the banned word list. It certainly is now. But that's what they call it. That's what it's called in my diary. Anyway, I have a mani pedi which is like being a prince of a small country where you have one person doing your hands and one person doing your feet. And it's one of the greatest things that ever happens. And I love when my feet are beautiful because my feet are left to themselves. They're nothing near beautiful anyway, so I like having a manicure and if I was a girl, if I was a woman, I would have every color of the rainbow because I love that shit. I love not for me to have colored nails because I just feel terrible. But I do like the whole phenomenon of it. So yeah, I'm all about. I love manicures.
- [09:43]
Tim Wright
Dear Mr. No I've been playing air guitar myself as an amateur since my early teens and I quite naturally play left handed. But when I decided a few months ago to learn to play the guitar for real without thinking about it, I bought a right handed guitar. And my progress can only be described as patchy. But I was at a gig the other night in the front row of the stalls. I quite naturally played air guitar and I quite naturally played it left handed. In fact, I think I played really rather well. But I'm wondering whether my so called real guitar career may have been held back by playing right handed. And I wonder whether you or any other ill advised listeners have had similar issues in their own air guitar careers. Yours very sincerely indeed, Tim Wright, London.
- [10:40]
Bill Nighy
Tim, pull yourself together. No, what I don't quite understand is why if you're right handed, when it came to air guitar, you chose to play with your left hand. That's what's thrown me slightly. I believe the answer to your question is yeah, change your guitar and get a left handed guitar if in fact you're left handed. I can't think of any other reason why you would air guitar left handed unless you were. If you're a right handed person who's. If you're a right handed person who for some reason air guitars with his left hand, then it's kind of unsettling. But you know, you could get over it. But if you're left handed, get a left handed guitar. That's all I know. But given that the air guitar doesn't exist, let's just get that straight. I know it's painful, but it's not really there. Do you know what I mean? I forget too because it's so real to me in the process of playing that, it's easy to forget that it's an imaginary guitar, so it doesn't really make a lot of difference. But good luck anyway, one way or the other.
- [11:59]
Podcast Listener
Hi, Bill. This is Reba from California, and I'm wondering how to deal with. With anxiety, particularly when I've had a conversation with someone. I will walk away and replay the conversation in my mind and discover all sorts of horrible things I probably should not have said. The only thing I can think of, other than going back and apologizing and embarrassing myself, is to just not speak to people. And that in itself would cause its own anxiety. Do you ever have this problem, and how do you deal with it? Thanks,
- [12:42]
Bill Nighy
Reba. I'm no stranger to the replaying of everything I said. Am I okay? Will I be punished? Will the sky fall? I used to be much, much worse than I am now. My colleague has suggested that that's a function of getting older. How dare you. No, but it's true. It's probably because I'm. I don't know if I'm wiser, but I'm certainly older. But I don't pretend to have the answer to this, Reba, but I do know a couple of things. One is that nearly every single negative thought I've had about myself and for long periods of my life, I only had negative thoughts about myself. And everything I did was in defiance of endless negative propaganda in my mind against myself. All turned out to be lies. Cruel, lousy lies designed to undermine me and were not true. There's nothing particularly wrong with me, and there never really was. I mean, I'm all right, you know, I'm an average person, and you'd imagine I was a serial killer the way that I've treated myself. You know, I ran my head and my. My life like a fascist state. You know, I would never do it to anyone else. It's that thing where you would forgive anyone else for lots of things, but you would never forgive yourself. Or apparently, you know, I'm no good in that area and that area, or that area, any area in my life. In fact, I thought to myself a while back that I've left the cult of my inadequacy, the idea that I'm inadequate, mysteriously, or vaguely or even specifically in every area of my life. And one of the things that. That kind of helps is that the writing is so bad. The writing in my mind is so bad because it's always negative. There's never any good. And in the end, you just get exhausted and you go, come on, There must be something other than, you know, bad news. It can't all be bad news. And therefore, it's kind of exposed for what it is, which is a form of self harm. And it's got nothing to do with the truth. It's got nothing to do with you. It doesn't describe you in any way. Obviously, it's neurotic, but it's cruel and unkind, and you wouldn't wish it on anyone else. I mean, it's just possible, Reba, that you go out into the world, meet people and say really, really, really regrettable things to them all the time, maybe offensive, you know, terrible things that hurt them, and then go home and rerun them, try and decide whether you should go and apologize. If you did think you have anything to apologize for. Go and apologize. Apologizing is not humiliation. If people say the magic words, I'm sorry, that's the opposite of humiliation. That's victory. That's that, you know, the tallest angel sits when anybody says, sincerely says I'm sorry, or even not that sincerely says I'm sorry. You know, the air changes and, you know, any offenses can be wiped off the board because it takes guts to do that, and it's an act of love and respect. So I wouldn't worry about if you have got anything, which I doubt. If you've got anything to apologize for, just apologize. It's easy said. It's very easy sitting here saying these things, you know, when you don't have to do it in real life. But I did get quite good at apologizing. My New Year's resolution for, well, it's perennial every year. I don't bother to make any other New Year's resolutions, because this one sort of covers everything. And the resolution is shut the fuck up. Because I worked out that any kind of anxiety or any kind of unpleasantness, or not because I say terrible things, but just because I talk too much. But everything that's regrettable is the result of something I've said. And then, of course, there's the third cup of coffee, which I think we've discussed before. And if I do walk away from some exchange thinking, why did I say that? Why would I? What. What possess me? It's usually the third cup of coffee. There's no attractive reason for the third cup of coffee. If you're me again. This is just for me. I'm not insisting that the world doesn't drink a third cup of coffee, but for me, I can't survive it. My radar doesn't survive the Third cup of coffee. So do you drink too much coffee? Reba, come on. Come clean. Anyway, I don't know if that helps, but I. From the sound of you, I prefer to think that you're just. You're not a bad person and that you're not saying terrible things. If you want us to check, you could email us at. Contact Usill, advised by Bill nye.com and we will comment because we don't have to be clever. We just have to not be you.
- [17:47]
Podcast Listener
Hello, Bill. I'm Emmaline. I'm from Northern California. I'm currently enjoying a lovely rainy day while listening to your podcast. But it ended too soon, as it so often does, and now I'm at a loss. How would you recommend spending a rainy day?
- [18:06]
Bill Nighy
Emmeline? Hi. What to do on a rainy day? Well, get out into it, I think. I know it's strange when it. When it rains in California. I know. Perhaps you're not quite used to it. When I used to go to California, before the climate started to change so dramatically, it never rained. And then it rained, like once when I was there and everyone went into a kind of panic. I remember houses sliding down the hillside, so they were kind of sat beside the edge of the road of the freeway, which is because they'd been built without foundations because it never rained. I guess people were kind of quite disturbed by the fact that it was raining in California, but now it's a regular occurrence. What to do in California? I don't know. If I was in London town, I'd get a really big black brolly and go and walk by the river. Because the combination of the water, the rain and the river is a wonderful. And the trees. Obviously you need trees, but there'll be some equivalent, I'm sure in California. Get under the trees with a brolly, near some water, near a lake. There's rivers, I'm sure. In fact, in California you could be sitting by the sea in the rain. And the sea in the rain is fabulous, especially in California, because don't you get big fat rain. You used to get big fat kind of tropical rain. But now as the climate changes. The last few times I was there, it was raining and it was just good old fashioned, like European rain. It wasn't tropical in any way. I haven't been for a little while, so I don't know how things are developing. But take a book and take a big coat and take a flask of something, get some coffee, take some sandwiches and hunker down and meditate. It will be Good with the brolly, because you'll get that sound of the rain hitting the brolly, which is always good value. It renders me philosophical, which is a good thing because for the most part my mind is like a cheap magazine. But the rain seems to stop the static, the kind of trivial static that takes place in my mind most of the time. It's like looking at the sea, which renders you philosophical. But take a really good book and I can recommend them because that's what we do here, we recommend books. So I suggest you take whatever book I recommend this episode, buy it, keep it handy, and as soon as it rains, get out there. Get out there in the middle of it, apparently. My grandmother used to say it's good for your skin. That's almost certainly a lie. My grandmother lied a lot. But, you know, it's a nice thought. In fact, it's come to that point where I recommend a book. So I'm going to recommend the book that I suggest you take out into the Rain. How about that? And that book is the Neon Rain by James Lee Burke. How about that? And this is a detective rubbish show thriller and detective Dave Robichaux is James Lee Burke's most frequent hero. And there, if you like the neon rain, there's a whole sequence of them. There's at least a dozen of them. And they're all very good value. I'll read you just a little bit. I pretended to be a pragmatist, a cynic, a jaded war veteran, a vitriolic drunk, the last of the Louisiana badasses. But like most people, I believed that justice would be done through. Things would work out, somebody would show up with the Constitution in his hand. That afternoon I kept the phone on the deck table while I washed down the boathouse, polished the brass and windows and sanded and re varnished the hatch. I put on flippers and goggles and cooled off in the lake, diving down into the yellow green light, feeling the power in my lungs and chest that were now free of alcohol bursting to the surface with a ringing in my ears that was never the telephone. I invited Annie over for late supper and we cooked steaks outside on my hibachi and ate under the umbrella. In the cooling evening, the western horizon was aflame with the sun's afterglow. Then the clouds became pink and purple. And then finally you could see the city light, the night sky. And this is time for our regular feature. But I don't think you understand. I'm like with the band, which is where we invite people to send in the name, preferably embarrassing name of their early band as teenagers and some embarrassing, preferably lyrics from one of their signature tunes. And today, from Cape Town, South Africa, yep, it's an international affair. We have Andrew. And the name of his band was Zugma Z E U G M A. And for one night only, he says, we played as Rubber Indian Dolly and the flexible junket Pumpers. Ah. Please do not feel obliged to share this highly regrettable title with your listeners. Well, it's too late now, Andrew, because we already have. We had a semi regular gig at the Nirvana Jazz and Blues lounge in Darwin, Australia, where we got paid in hard cash and mango daiquiris. Our signature song was called I really like your ankles. And the chorus went, they were so petite above your feet Supporting your legs they made me wanna beg. Whoa. I really. I really like your ankles. And life won't be the same until I see you again. You. You caused me so much rancor. It started with your ankles. Okay, well. And he quips, I hope you enjoy the lyrics as much as we enjoyed those mango daiquiris. Well, we do enj them very much, Andrew. I think you probably go straight in at number one for the worst rhyme in the history of rhyming, probably with rancor and ankles. It's. It's so bad. It's good, I think is probably what we'd conclude. Thank you. That was this week's contribution to I don't think you understand, I'm like with the band. And now it's time for this week's playlist. And do remember that you don't have to remember any of these tunes. They will all be listed in the show notes and there will also be a link concerning them to Spotify and Apple Music, so you can find them there. And this week's playlist is called I used to be philosophically opposed to Bob Dylan covers, but I'm not like that now. And the first track on the list is from Brian Ferry, who is a fabulous interpreter of Bob Dylan's songs. And this is from his album Dylan esque, which is the album that changed my whole attitude to Bob Dylan covers. I heard his interpretation of Bob Dylan songs and it just felt good. It felt okay. And just like Tom Thumbs Blues is a really witty and terrific reimagining of the song and it kicks in after the first couple of verses really satisfyingly if you happen to be behind the wheel. And then there is Betty Lovett, and Betty Lovett made a whole album like Brian Ferry of Bob Dylan Covers, which was called Things have Changed, which is the Oscar winning song that Bob Dylan wrote and which she also covers on the album. But I've chosen Don't Fall Apart On Me Tonight, which is a terrific song and she does it brilliantly. And then a kind of unpleasant song, which. Not unpleasant, but kind of, you know, you'll see when you hear it. It was never a big song in terms of Bob Dylan's performance, and I'm not sure he has recorded it. I think it was a single. And the song is called if youf Gotta Go, Go Now. It basically means, if you're not gonna sleep with me, you better leave. And anyway, this is reinterpreted by the Cowboy Junkies, who are a band I came to about 20 years too late. Not too late, but just late. And they do it very well. And then there's a terrific version of It's All Over Now, Baby Blue by Them, In Other Words by Van Morrison, which is a wonderful performance. There's also just. I didn't put it on the list for obvious reasons, but Brian Ferry also does a great driving version of It's All Over Now, Baby Blue. Then there is one of my favorite Bob Dylan songs, Going, Going, Gone, by Greg Allman, who made it part of his final album when he knew that he didn't have a long time to live. And he, not surprisingly, chose to sing Going, Going, Gone, which contains the line, I've just reached a place where the river don't bend, and it's therefore more than usually moving, given the circumstance. And then a sensational Bob Dylan song, a late song called Not Dark yet, and it's covered by Shelby Lynn and her sister Alison Moorer. And it's a wonderful rendition and it's just one of the great songs of all time. And then a song that is also a wonderful song about heartbreak called Most of the Time, which is a very clever way of expressing how it feels when you have a long time hurt, which you know is never going to leave you. But as he sings, most of the time I'm okay, meaning some of the time I'm in agony. And then a song by the Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan's famous song, Like a Rolling Stone, done by the Rolling Stones on an album of kind of their version of Unplugged. It's not very Unplugged, but it was their contribution to that genre. And I remember I drove, I had a lunch hour, and I got my driver to drive me to a record store the day it came out, and I put it on in the car and Like a Rolling Stone came on and then Mick Jagger, who's a great harmonica player, he does a harmonica solo in the middle and I just rolled around in the back of the car just happy to be alive. At the same time, I was just roaring with laughter. It was just perfect. Don't ask me why, but it was just perfect that Mick Jagger should be playing the harmonica on Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan and then Wild Man Beck and War Child Records, which is a charity for obviously for the child victims of War, which is fronted by lots of people, but notably by Kerry Mulligan. And this was Beck's contribution to one of their albums. And it's his version of another great Bob Dylan song called, which could actually be on the adultery list. But anyway, it's called Leopard Skin Pillbox Hat, which is a very witty blues song and he really tears it up. Anyway, that's it. That's called I used to be philosophically opposed to Bob Dylan covers, but I'm not like that now and I think you might have fun. Thank you for listening. Thank you for all the questions and for your contributions to our features. We're coming up to the end of season two of Ill Advised by Bill Nye. Don't panic. We are off over the summer, but you can still squander time with us on our new subscriber channel on Patreon the Back Room. There will be exclusive bonus content, new features, and early access to new episodes, merchandise and events. If you want to join, it's really important to just search Patreon P A T r e o n.com ill advised by Bill Nye make sure you sign up online first to avoid the Apple fees on the app and then download it later. All the information you need is in the show notes. Those who make it to the back room will get access to me reading between the Acts by Virginia Woolf so you could listen on the beach in the sun or listen in the evenings with your clothes on. So see you then. Ill Advised by Bill Nighy is produced by Alice Williams and Kiara Gregori, with assistant production by Angelique Somers, pronounced Somas and Charlotte Ross pronounced Ross and it's an iPod Studios production.
- [32:17]
Acast Announcer
Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend
- [32:24]
Nikayla Matthews Akome
if you've ever dreamed of quitting your job to take your side Hustle full time. Listen up. This is Nikayla Matthews Akome, host of side Hustle Pro, a podcast that helps you build and grow from passion project to profitable business Every week you'll hear from guests just like you who wanted to start a business on the side. If you can't run a side hustle, you can't run a business. They share real tips and so I started connecting with all these people on LinkedIn and I thought target supplier diversity was having office hours. Real advice Procrastination is the easiest form of resistance and the actual strategies they use to turn their side hustle into their main hustle. Getting back in touch with your tangible cash and sitting down and learning to give your money a job like it changes something. Check outside Hustle Pro every week on your favorite podcast, app and YouTube
- [33:14]
Acast Announcer
Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere acast.com Most people don't realize
- [33:23]
Aura Advertiser
how much of their personal information is being bought and sold every day. Data brokers are making billions, pulling details about you from public records and the Internet, then packaging and selling it, usually without your consent. That's how your information lands in the hands of scammers, spammers, even stalkers. It's why you get endless robocalls and why ads seem to follow you everywhere. That's where Aura comes in. Aura actively removes your data from broker sites and keeps it off. They also instantly alert you if your information shows up in a breach or on the dark web. But Aura goes beyond data protection. With one app you get a vpn, antivirus, password manager, spam call protection, Dark web monitoring, and even up to $5 million in identity theft insurance. All backed by 24, 7 US based fraud support. Other companies might sell just credit monitoring or just a vpn. Aura gives you all of it together at the same price competitors charge for just one service. Start your free trial today at aura.com safety protect yourself now@aura.com safety,
- [34:32]
Acast Announcer
acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.
- [34:41]
Xin Yi Pai
Hi, I'm Xin Yi Pai. Five years ago I sat down in front of a microphone with a simple goal to share stories from the Asian American experience and to do that by talking about everyday objects. Now 10,000 Things is headed into its fifth and final season and we've got a new set of stories about coming fully into oneself, weird and wild and inspired. Tune in to the final season of 10,000 things from Acast Creative Studios, a podcast about modern day artifacts and of Asian American life and the stories they reveal. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [35:30]
Acast Announcer
Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere acast.com.