← In Totality with Megan Ashley
In Totality with Megan Ashley
EP 105: Remain in My Love (John 15): The Secret to Joyful Obedience
00:49:52
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Megan Ashley
What's up, family? Before we jump into today's episode, I want to share something close to my heart. Our In Totality Patreon community, the Village. If you ever listen to the podcast and you thought, wow, I really wish there was more. This is exactly why I created this space. You'll receive early access to every episode, so while others are hearing it for the first time, you'll already be watching it and soaking it in. But it's not just that. You'll also get access to the In Totality docuseries, which is like my vlog, which shows what I do when I'm
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not on the podc.
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Megan Ashley
And that's not it. You'll also be the first to know about merch drops, events and opportunities to
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connect in real life.
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Megan Ashley
One of my favorite parts is our Bible study and book clubs where we're walking through scripture together and encouraging one another in the faith. On Patreon, we are building a community that truly desires a relationship with the Lord, pursues truth, and supports one another. And I would love for you to be a part of that. So if you want more, come join the Village on Patreon. The link is in the description and I can't wait to see you.
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Foreign. Just came out with a book called Beloved. I still believe that we need to be extremely serious about our walk with the Lord, but I started to read this book and I felt convicted because I feel like I haven't been as serious about abiding in God's love as much as I've been serious about obeying his law. Romans 5 talks about the love of the Lord that's poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit. Right? And because he has poured the love into our hearts, we can joyfully present ourselves as a living sacrifice. It is a gift and a joy to obey the Lord. When we have God's love in us and we know that he loves us, then that love and that obedience is. Is relational. It's not transactional. I don't read His Word so that God can love me. I don't obey so that God can love me. God already loves you. There's nowhere that we can go. There's nothing that we can do that will separate us from God's love. It just. It's established.
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Megan Ashley
What's up, you guys?
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Welcome back to season three of In Totality. I'm your host, Megan Ashley. I'm so incredibly encouraged and excited that if you are tuned in. Welcome back. If you have been here since the beginning, that's really awesome because we took a break. We took a break last year. We took a break again this year. So today kind of feels like my first day back of school. You know what I'm saying? Like, the kids went back to school, you know, after. After winter break and all things. Now it feels like my first day back to work. And so I'm really excited to be back. Nothing really has changed a whole lot with the set. It kind. I mean, maybe a little bit looks a little different, but, you know, it's still the same couch. I'm still crisscross applesauce with my Tony Evans and my iPad. Nothing has really changed too much, but things have changed internally. I always want to set my intentions for the season that. That I'm in, because you guys are kind of joining in on that journey. And so I want to just. Yeah, I feel like I did that last year. You guys, know, I was, like, heavy into Romans 12 and this year, and that. That hasn't changed. But I think the Lord has expanded this a bit for me, and so I kind of want to just talk to you guys about where I am. But the end of. The end of last year was amazing. You know, what did we do last year? We went to Africa in October. We had the village kickback. Like, you guys know all those things. If you're part of my Patreon community, you've seen all of the family shenanigans for the holidays, which is always fun. So if you. If you're part of my village community, you know, we have a really good time at the end of the year. It's kind of my. I know for me and Jordan, it's like our favorite time of the year. Like, we look forward to getting to December where we can just be with our family, do gifts, do karaoke in the CA cabins, and just have family time. And it's such a good way for me to end the year and reset for the new year. But I kind of want to take you guys back a little bit. This was in October, and I was getting ready to go somewhere. I was getting ready to go speak somewhere. I'm not really sure where I was going, but I had dropped the kids off at school. I came back home, and I think it was just like a day trip, so I don't even think I, like, had to pack a whole bunch of stuff. And so, you know, I dropped the kids off from school. I came back home, and I got on my face. And to be honest with you guys, I was just kind of tired by the end of the Year, like, when so much goes on. Last year, I was traveling a lot, speaking a lot of places. I was exhausted by. Come October, end of October, I was pretty drained. I remember I got on my face and you guys know, if you've been following me, you know, I have this little pillow next to my bed where I pray. And I got on my face and I was just, like, I was just exhausted. And it's so weird because I wasn't, like, thinking of this, but all I could pray was like, God, I just really need your love. Like, I need to experience your love. Like, I just want to experience your love. And I just kept saying that in different variations of phrases, but it was. That was pretty much the meat of it. Like, lord, just pour your love in my heart. Like, I just need to experience your love. I need to feel your love. I need to, you know, I need your love so badly right now. And I was just weeping, like, weeping, and I had my. It was one of them cries where it's like, relax. You know what I'm saying? You know, one of them cries where it's like. It almost is on the borderline of dramatic, but it's truly how I felt. I was just like, I need your love so badly right now. Like, I need to feel it. I need to experience it. And so I had my hands on my face like this. I'm, like, cupping my face. And again, I'm exhausted, so I'm kind of just like. Like, resting my head in the palms of my hands and I am weeping. And this isn't, like, uncommon because if you go to church with me, you know, okay, I am a weepy mess most of the time. Like, there's always a puddle right by my feet. Just tears, right? So I'm crying and I'm begging God. I'm not asking him for anything for this speaking engagement. I'm not saying, Lord, like, help me know what to say and help. I'm not asking for any of that. Like, literally, strictly asking for his love. That was it. I cried. I. I pled. I petitioned for God's love. And the craziest thing happened as I get up, because, again, I have to get on a flight. So it's like, I could have stayed there all day on my face. But it's like, I'm sure Jordan was outside of the door. Like, girl, we have to go. We have to get. Catch a flight. And so I get up and I look at my pillow. Hopefully production will put it on so you guys can see the pillow. But I get Up. And I don't know if this was silly, but it meant something to me. When I got up and I looked at the pillow, there was like a perfectly shaped heart out of my tears. And I don't know, I immediately, like, I text my mom and I text Jackie and I was just like, oh, my gosh, like, the craziest thing happened. Like, I was praying for God's love and was praying that I would experience his love. And, you know, I was crying on my pillow. And when I got up, look at, look, it's a heart. And it was literally like this cutest little shaped heart of my tears on the pillow. And from that moment on, I had felt this prompting to really kind of dig deeper into God's love and make it more of a focus and a priority in my walk with him. And during this time, Francis Chan just came out with a book called Beloved. And I don't know when the book came out. I wanna say it was towards the end of the year, but. And I'm assuming it was around that October time I knew the book was coming out. And so I get the book and I'm like, this is what I kind of need to focus on towards the end. Now, you guys remember last year I read the book Relax by Megan Fate Marshman, which was really pivotal for my walk. To not be anxious and striving, but to trust in the Lord with all my mind and soul, not leaning to my own understanding, as the proverb says. Right. And so that book was kind of based off of that. And so in God's sovereignty and his kindness, I feel like he led me to this book, Beloved by Francis Chan. And so towards the end of the year, I started reading it and I felt like the Lord wanted me to invite the Patreon community in on that. And so if you're watching this right now, we're still going through the book. You can join us whenever you want on Patreon. And every Tuesday, we're going to be kind of going through the book and kind of diving into the. The love of the Lord and what that means. But I started to read this book and I felt. I felt this conviction of if you've been watching in totality for any time, if you've just kind of been watching my journey, I feel like I have had such a heavy emphasis on saying yes to the Lord and being serious about your relationship with the Lord. Right. And. And I'm not saying that I've come, I've like, harsh, because that's never been my intention. But I know I can come across very intense about saying yes to the Lord. You know, I've said the severity of what he saved me from deserves the severity of my. Yes, deserves the severity of my obedience. And so it comes across very serious. And I still believe that a hundred percent. I still believe that we need to be extremely serious about our walk with the Lord. We need to be serious about obedience. We need to be serious about His Word and knowing his word and being biblical, right? We need to be serious about being locked into a Bible teaching church, right? We need to be serious about community. Like all of that stuff I still fully believe, but I felt convicted because I feel like I haven't been as serious about abiding in God's love as much as I've been serious about obeying his law, right? And so I, I was like, man, I never want to present a yes to the Lord or I never want to want to lead people in any type of way where it's like your serious yes means no to joy, means no to enjoying your relationship with the Lord. I just don't wanna, I don't ever want the joy of our relationship or our yes to the Lord mean the absence of our, of our joy in Him. And so as I've been reading this book, I've been really trying to hone in on being just as serious God's commands to rejoice and being just as serious about God's commands to abide in his love and to remain in his love to stay connected to Him. And so I've just kind of been like on this journey of what does it look like to fix my eyes on God's love. And during this process, I've just been taking inventory of my responses, taking inventory of my heart and realizing that I have been so focused and so, so strict on like, I gotta love God, I gotta love God. I gotta love God. I gotta love God. I gotta love him more. I gotta love him more. Where it has almost produced a self centeredness where I've looked too much on me loving him and not enough on him loving me, right? Scripture tells us it is he who loved us first. He loved us first. So it, so it puts, it puts things in, in its right order. It's like God loved us first, right? And so I have to not look so, oh, I, I need to love the Lord. I need to love the Lord. Yes, we need to love the Lord. But I need to first look at the fact that the Lord loved me and let that produce a love for Him. And, and to let that produce a joyful obedience to Him. You know what I mean? Like, I talk about Romans 12 being a living sacrifice, but I don't think the Lord wants us to be a living sacrifice when we. Where we are begrudgingly being a living sacrifice, right? Where we are resenting being a loving, a living sacrifice. I believe the love of the Lord, right? And. And. And Romans 5 talks about the love of the Lord that's poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit, right? So this isn't even love that we have to conjure up ourselves. This is a work of the Holy Spirit. He pours the love into our hearts, right? And that. And that. That's why we're not put to shame, right? Because the Holy Spirit has poured his love into our hearts. And because he is poured the love into our hearts, we can joyfully and willfully obey and present ourselves as a living sacrifice. It doesn't have to be something that is resented or, or a burden, but it is a gift and a joy to obey the Lord and to. And to be a living sacrifice. And I think that I have kind of gotten things out of order. And it's not that I want to say that it. It's wrong, but it can be wrong when you do things out of order, if that makes sense. It's like, okay, here are all of the priorities. But there are things. There are priorities that have to be in order, right? So, like, doing ministry is important, right? Being a mother is important. If I put doing ministry above being a mother, I'm doing two important things, but I'm not doing them in order. Does that make sense? It's like, I'm not. I have to. I have to know how to manage and. And prioritize the priorities. And so I feel like it's the same thing when it comes to God's love. It's like loving God is important. We have to love him because it's our love. Like, when we love him, we obey Him. But what is the order of that? I need to look at God's love for me because he loved me first and allow that to produce a love in me or a love for him so that I willfully and joyfully obey Him. And so I just feel like there have been times where I have been so focused inwardly that, like, my gaze is more on me than on the Lord. And so I've been really just kind of practicing what it means to abide, what it means to remain. And so I don't know. I don't know if any of you have ever experienced that in your, in your relationship with the Lord where you feel like, man, I have been so focused on doing the right thing, obeying all the things that it now becomes a burden and not a joy. Like I don't enjoy my relationship with the Lord. Again, I've been kind of going through this journey for a while. So I've written down just some things that as I've been walking through this and I pray that, you know, I really do believe like God's word is enough. And so there's just some scripture that I think would be helpful if you're on this same journey of, you know, let me just pause and say this. Something that Phil said to me when we were in London that has kind of stuck out to me and stood with me for the last couple of weeks in some bonus content for Patreon. I was asking him about, you know, during this time right now we're seeing God harvest a lot of people to himself. And for, for some of us who have been in church maybe our whole lives, like me, I've been in church my whole. And I've, I've never seen this type of harvesting before. And maybe because we have social media so we, we, we have access to people's journeys and, and thoughts and processes in ways that we didn't have maybe 15 years ago. But the Lord is, is doing such a he. I mean he's drawing people to himself in such a innumerable way. It feels like there's so many people that are, that are coming to the Lord. But then at the same time we have so deconstructing at the same time. And so I was asking Phil, because there's so much content out there, if you have a phone, right? You have the ability to give everybody your think pieces, right? Everybody is a self proclaimed expert at everything, right? And there's so much Christian content out there. And when I say Christian content, please hear me say with quotations, Christian content, right? I, I was asking Phil, I was like, yeah, if I'm like in a, if I'm looking objectively at all the content that is out there and say I'm a person that feels this nudge to say yes to Christ, feels this nudge to become a Christian, right? It feels hard to know what to focus on. Do I focus on Scripture only? Do I focus on getting into a, a good church? How do I know what a good church is? Do I need community? Can I just have a relationship with the Lord apart from community? Do I focus on Astral projecting or do I focus on demons or do I focus on monitoring spirits? Like, there's so much out there that feels like I don't even know what the priority is if I have no. I'm thinking about the person who has no concept of church, Christian, the Christian faith, whatever. And so I was asking Phil, I was like, you know, what do you say to those people who feel like, yeah, like, I want. You know, I feel like the Lord is nudging me. I've repented. I want to be a Christian. I want to do what's pleasing to the Lord. I just don't know where to start. And he said something that was so profound to me. He was like, focus on getting to know the one who saved you. You. And I just thought that that was so profound, and it's so simple, but it's so profound. He was like, before you go and try to be an expert and have all these plans or whatever. He was like, just focus on the one who saved you. Get to know the one who saved you. And I would just add on to that. Get to know the one who saved you and get to know his love for you. Really hone in on the fact that he loves you. I have robbed myself.
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Megan Ashley
All right, fellas, excuse me for just
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a moment so I could talk to the ladies.
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Megan Ashley
Before skims, underwear and bras were honestly
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an afterthought for me.
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Megan Ashley
I would literally just focus on what
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I was wearing on the outside, the
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Megan Ashley
outfit, the jacket, the dress, thinking that that would make me feel my best. But most days, the bras I would
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wear would be uncomfortable. Digging in, rolling, and just off in the underwear. Forget about it.
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Megan Ashley
It wasn't until I tried skims that I realized how much the pieces I underneath actually set the tone for my whole day. Now I reach for skims all the time because it's soft, it's supportive, and it makes me feel confident without even thinking about it. Ever since I tried the Fits Everybody T shirt bra from skims, my mornings feel different. I've always hated bras that dig in
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and feel bulky, and this one doesn't do that at all.
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Megan Ashley
It's seamless and smooth and supportive without feeling suffocating.
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I literally forget I'm wearing it most of the time. Time.
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Megan Ashley
And the level of comfort gives me so much freedom. I feel grounded, present, and more at
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ease in my own body.
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Megan Ashley
That might be small, but it really
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changes how I show up in my day and my family.
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Megan Ashley
When it comes to bras, I hate feeling like I'm consistently adjusting myself. That's why the Fits Everybody T shirt bra is such a game changer. It fits so well for everyday wear. Soft, stretchy, seamless, but also very supportive. Everyone should experience this level of comfort in their lives.
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And the underwear.
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Megan Ashley
Listen y', all. Same story. It's easy, breathable, and actually makes me feel confident and put together without thinking about it. Shop my favorite bra and underwear@skims.com after you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show at the
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drop down menu that follows. Alright guys, back to the conversation of so much joy in my relationship with the Lord. Because of shame, because of insecurities, because of the younger prodigal brother syndrome where it's like, you know, in the in the parable of the prodigal son, it's like you realize how much you've done wrong and so you return to the Father only with the intent of being a servant, never a son.
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Megan Ashley
Right?
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And if you really know that God loves you, then you actually know your identity. You act like that's your identity first. And we see that with John, how he constantly he. He is he. He identifies himself not as the one who loved Christ, but the one that Christ loved. That's his identity. The one who Christ loved. I am the beloved. That's his identity. And I think for all of you who are maybe new to the faith, returning to the faith, curious about the faith. Number one, get to know the person that that saved you. Get to know the person of Jesus Christ.
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Megan Ashley
Believe it or not, there are some believers in the Christian faith who spend years thinking that they're broken or failing God because they're struggling with unwanted, distressing thoughts. But this isn't a spiritual failure. These thoughts could be due to a common but overlooked condition.
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Ocd.
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Megan Ashley
I'm talking about thoughts that interrupt worship. Like, am I praying right? Will God forgive me if I make mistake in my prayer?
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I need to start over.
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Megan Ashley
I need to do it perfectly this time. Or maybe a blasphemous image that pops into your head that makes you feel like you sin just for thinking it. Unwanted thoughts like these can be a sign of a type of religious ocd, also known as scrupulosity.
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Ocd.
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Megan Ashley
It's a form of OCD that can turn turn your faith into a source of constant guilt, doubt and fear. But because the condition is still widely misunderstood, a lot of people don't even know that it can show up in this way, or even that it can center around their faith. But OCD isn't just about being neat or organized like most stereotypes suggest. OCD latches on to what you care about most, causing a cycle of distressing intrusive thoughts and behaviors done to get rid of the anxiety they create. State like praying until it feels just right or trying to solve or figure out your thoughts. But any relief of these type of behaviors is short lived.
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So the cycle begins again.
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Megan Ashley
Many people silently struggle with religious OCD, thinking it's some sort of personal failure or lack of faith, where that may not be the case. It's a common type of OCD and highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. And that's where no CD comes in. NOCD is the world's leading OCD treatment provider. All of these licensed therapists are trained in ERP, or exposure and response prevention therapy, the most effective treatment for ocd. No CD therapists deeply understand ocd, so they know that these thoughts don't mean anything about you. In live virtual sessions, they'll help you break free from OCD's grip while honoring your faith so you can get back to focusing on what matters the most. No CD is covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans, and they provide support between sessions. So you're never going at this alone. If you think you might be struggling with any kind of OCD, don't wait. Head over to nocd.com and book a free 15 minute call with their team today and start reclaiming your thoughts from ocd. That's no cd dot com. That's N o c d dot com.
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Know who he is. Know his character. Know his attributes, right? Know what he did for you. Like get to know him intimately through his word, but then also know your identity in him. He loves you. You are his beloved. He loves you. Before you said yes to him, before you acknowledged him, before you repented, before you were even born, he knew you and he loved you. And when and, and when you are in Christ, you receive the spirit of adoption. You are a son and daughter now of the most high God. You are a son and daughter. It's so important and vital that you know your identity first. You're not just a servant, but you are a son and daughter. And that is pivotal. Because if you know who you are, it eliminates the opportunity for the enemy to beat you up with shame when you make a mistake. Because you will fall, you will make a mistake, you will sin. That, that's just, just the human nature, right? That is part of the sanctification process. And we've talked about this on the podcast before. Like, we're not going to be glorified until he comes back. So we are going through a process of sanctification. You have Paul, who, who is in his elder years in Romans, or is that Romans 7, where he's like, I do what I don't want to do, and I, I, I don't do what I should do. Oh, wretched man that I am, who will save me from this, like, this sinful flesh? He's an old man saying that, that. So we know that even, even Paul at his old age is still struggling, right? He talks about the thorn in his flesh. What is that in 1st Corinthians, 2nd Corinthians? Is that 1st Corinthians where he talks about his grace is sufficient in his weakness. Right? I believe that's somewhere in the second Corinthians. 7, 12. 7, 12, 7. I knew it was a Corinthians, and I knew there was a seven. I didn't know which Corinthians, and I didn't know what chapter, but 2 Corinthians 12, 7. Paul talks about thorn in his flesh. We don't know what that thorn in his flesh is, right? So we know that we're going to struggle throughout our lives, throughout our walks, right? But because you know, your identity, you know that, hey, listen, I'm a son and daughter of God. He loves me first, right? That he's not, he's not angry with me. The Bible says that he's slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love. He abounds in steadfast love. He has so much love that it can't be measured. Right? He abounds in steadfast love. He is slow to anger, full of mercy and grace. Right? And so you have. I, I think it's just so vital that you know that you are loved by God, you are loved by him, and that he has given you an identity as a son and daughter. When you are in Christ, you receive the spirit of adoption, and you are a son and daughter. Now onto that point, if you go to First John 3, verse 1, says, See what great love the Father has for us, that we should be called God's children. And we are. Exclamation point. John is trying to get that point across, that like, what great love the Father has for us, that we would be called his children. Right? Now, listen, I understand that a lot of us come from a context where we may not have the greatest experience with parenting, right? So it's like, you may be like, maybe being called someone's child doesn't excite you. You. But that means you have to think about who God is. The creator of the heavens and the earth, right? The. The. The one who was in the beginning, the great. I am the perfect and holy One has called you his son or daughter. And we are. Because of what Christ did, we are now grafted into the family of God. And that is. You should. That's something that you should rejoice. And I think about my kids. I think about, you know, as a parent, how I cannot put into words how much I love my children no matter what they do. I think about the worst thing that my kids could ever do and. And doesn't separate me from loving them, right? Paul talks about in Ephesians. What is this? Ephesians 3, verse 17. I pray that you be being rooted and firmly established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and the. The height and the depth of God's love. It's like this constant theme throughout the New Testament. That we know God's love, that we know that he loves us, that we know that His. His love is innumerable, immeasurable. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. And I think that that message needs to be, like, communicated even more because I know I. I grew up in a Christian context in certain places and churches and services where I felt like God was constantly mad at me, right? I made a mistake and he hated me. I would. I would never measure up, right? And that makes. It makes obedience transactional and not relational. But when we have God's love in us and we know that he loves us, and everything that we do is produced from him loving us because the Holy Spirit again, is pouring his love in our hearts, right? Then that love and that obedience is. Is relational. It's not transact. Where it's like, okay, I want God to love me, so I obey. That's backwards. It's God loves me, so I obey. God loves me. Therefore I present myself as a living sacrifice. God loves me, and he sent his words so that I can know him, so he can reveal Himself to me. That's why I read His Word. I don't read His Word so that God can love me. I don't obey so that God can love me. God already loves you. You. There's nowhere that we can go. There's nothing that we can do that will separate us from God's love. It just is. It's established. His love is Covenantal, like it's. He's made a covenant with us in his love. And we know through scripture from beginning to end what God says about covenant, his covenant, he doesn't break that. It is established, it is rooted, right, that we are loved by Him. And I believe that if we. If we abide in that and we focus on that and we live in that, and we. We wake up every single day like, wow, God, you gave me breath in my lungs. You gave me a brand new day, a roof over my head. You. You. You didn't leave me when I was in sin. And. And I was your enemy and you kept me and you like, what an amazing God you are. Of course I'm going to sacrifice for you. Of course I'm going to obey you. Of course I'm going to love my neighbor. Of course I'm going to be kind. Of course I'm going to abide in your word and delight in it, because it is your. It is God breathed. These are your words speaking to me. Of course I to do that. You love me. You, the one who was holy and perfect. Love me now. Listen, if. If I don't know about you, but I know where I have been. I know the sins that I have committed. I know. I know how far away I was from the Lord just five years ago. I know the times that I ignored him. I know the times that. That I dishonored him. I know. And for him to still redeem me, for him to still love me, for
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Megan Ashley
him to still say, hey, I want
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Guest or Co-host
to take your life and I want to work all things out for you for. For the good. I want to still conform you into the image of my son. I still want to present you blameless. Like, how could we not joyfully obey? How could we not joyfully lay our lives down as a living sacrifice him? How could we not give him a yes? How could we not be serious about our yes and do it with delight and do it with joy? How could we, if we truly know who he is? And so my encouragement to you is, is that if you find yourself in a rut where it's like, I'm not delighting in this anymore. I don't enjoy reading my word. I dread praying. Praying. Here we are. I'm being vulnerable and transparent. That was me like, oh, I gotta read this word. I gotta pray and da, da, da, da, da. That's not the type of relationship the Lord wants us to have with him. I think about going back to the prodigal son. I think about how the, the. The son comes back and again the son has all intentions on just being a servant. He doesn't even think or believe that he can have the ability or even he's not worthy of being a son, right? He has messed up his inheritance. He hasn't jacked up everything at the house. The father has to go through all the things to split up the inheritance. The, the brother, the older brother is angry at him, like stuff is a mess at home because he decides to leave, right? And he finds himself in. In the pig pen, right? He's made a mess of his life. He's messed up all his money, all of his money is. And now he comes to the end of himself and he's like, man, I've sinned against God, I've sinned against my father. I'm going to go home and be a servant, right? We all know the story. He comes back and the father runs towards him, right? Because that's his son. That no matter what he, the son did, it didn't change the son's identity. That was still his son, right? He comes back, the father receives him with open arms. And he had already prepared this space speech, right? I'm going to go to my father, I'm going to tell him I sinned and I'm going to be a servant. He's like, truthfully, I don't deserve anything, but I know I can at least go home and not smell like a pig, right? He goes home, he prepares this speech, he sees his father, his father embraces him, loves on him, kisses him, and he's just like, dad, I'm sorry, you know, I don't deserve to be your son, son, I'm just going to be a servant. I've sinned against you. I've sinned against my father in heaven and da, da, da, da. And the father never acknowledges him. He never acknowledges anything he's saying. The father never says, yeah, you right, you did mess up. He doesn't make him gravel and plead and do all the things, right? The father receives him and he literally tells the servant, go get a robe, go get a ring, go kill the fattest, the fatted calf and let's throw a party. He throws a party. What that tells me now, I'm not. Listen, I'm not a theologian yet, I'm still learning. But what it speaks to me, or at least what my observation is in that is that there is some type of celebration and enjoyment that we should have because we are a son and daughter, daughter because of our identity, is that There is a celebration to be to be had in that there is joy, there is enjoyment to be had in that he throws a party. He doesn't say, okay, cool, now get to work. He receives him and throws a party. And so I truly believe that the Lord wants us to be obedient, right? The. The Word says in, in John 15, starting at verse 9, as the Father has loved me, I have also loved you. Remain in my love. If you keep My commands, you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commands and remain in his love. You want to be obedient, remain in his love. You want to sin less, remain in his love. You want to have more joy, remain in his love. You want to have more peace, remain in his love. You want to produce more fruit, remain in his love. And I just truly believe that it starts there. And so if you're. If you're watching this and you are, I am tired. I am. I have faithful fatigue. I've been doing all the things and I just. I am not experiencing joy. Take a pause. Pause. Take a pause. Maybe you've been like, knee deep in, like Romans or something like me, like, I'm knee deep in Romans, right? Maybe take a pause and just say Lord, before I continue on with this study, allow me to see things through the lens of youf love. Allow me to see everything through the lens of youf love. Help me abide in youn love. Help me delight in my time with youh. You. When I read Scripture, help me delight in it. Allow me to read these words knowing that this is a God who loves me. Not a God that is beating me up, but a God that loves me, who loved me so much that when I was a sinner, he still sent his son to die for me so that I could be clothed in his righteousness and present it blameless before the Almighty God. That, like, focus on who God is, know his attributes, know his character, and know that he loves you. Know your identity is a son and daughter first, and then allow everything to flow from that. The moment you start doing the opposite, it. This is how we. This is how we create legalistic Christians. When we, when we flip the order, when we don't receive the love of God and then obey. But we obey to try to earn something from God that creates legalistic elder brothers in the church. And that's not what we want to be. We want to be sons and daughters. Who knows that we've received the spirit of adoption through the Lord Jesus Christ. Christ that he has Called us, that he has chosen us, that he loves us. And for a lot of us there, even me, I'll be honest, I did not have the most affectionate, loving relationship consistently with my earthly father, even with my mom. Like, my. I know, hands down, ten toes down. Eyvette loves me. I know that. But I didn't. She wasn't mushy, gushy, mommy loves you. She didn't do all that. So, like, this, the, like the affections of love, like, I didn't really get a whole lot of that right from my earthly parents. I knew that they loved me, but I didn't get all of that. And even with, like I said, with, with my relationship with my father, you know, it was rough when I was a kid. It wasn't consistent. It wasn't, you know, he wasn't present. And so for a lot of us, maybe that is your, your context as well. And so you feel like experiencing our heavenly father's love because you haven't experienced it earthly, it disqualifies you from experiencing it with the Lord. But I just want to, I just want to speak against that lie is that you are still qualified to experience God's love, no matter what your earthly context has been. It doesn't matter who didn't love you. Well, whether it was a mom or a dad or a sister or a husband or a, A boyfriend or whoever, a girlfriend, it doesn't matter. It doesn't disqualify you from experiencing this love of God that is for you. It doesn't matter what your context is. Ask yourself to be honest with you. I'm. I'm going to ask you the same questions that I asked Patreon. And it can be maybe a moment for you to pause and just ponder, but ask yourself, okay, if I'm thinking about the idea of God's love, you know, let me, Let me just. I'm gonna ask you a few questions. You can take this as a journal prompt, or you can just take this as a time to just reflect and just have like a selah moment and like I said, pause and ponder about it. But I'll ask you these few questions and it's something to interrogate and it's something to think about when you think about God. And if I were to ask you, how do you think God feels about you right now? What would you say honestly? What would you say honestly? How do you honestly think God feels about you? What do you think he thinks about you? What is your honest thought thoughts on that? And, and, and listen this is between you and the Lord. So don't try to come up with a performative answer because he already knows the truth. Right? But think about that. And then I want you to think about whose truth does that align with? Whatever your answer is, whose truth does that align with? And I want to ask you in that same question, does that change based off of the date, day? Like, think about your good day and then think about your bad day? Or do you think God's thoughts for you have changed based off of the day that you've had? Those are some good ways and some good markers for me at least, to know, like, okay, how do I really see myself? And how do I. How do I know how God sees me? And I. And I think our human. Our human experience, because we can be so flaky, because our love for other people can be so conditional that we think that God's love for us is conditional as well. But again, I just want to insert some truth that his love for you is not conditional. He loves you, you, period. End of story. He loves you. Now it's on us, what we do with that. But his love has already been established. Okay. And so I would just, yeah, I would maybe pause and ponder maybe a second question I would ask is, you know, when it comes to your relationship with the Lord, do you enjoy it? And I remember Jordan and I were talking about this, and we had, like, a random long conversation about this in my room where she was like, you know, I don't think I ever thought to care about that in a way where it was like, I don't know if I thought about. If I needed to enjoy my relationship with the Lord. Like, is that something I have to enjoy? Like, do I. You know, it's like, I do what I'm told to do. I know he loves me, me, and it is what it is, you know? But I do think that there is something to be said about that. Like, I really do believe the Lord wants us to enjoy Him. The scripture says, delight yourself in the Lord, right? Delight yourself in Him. Paul says, as he's in a. A. A Roman. In prison. I believe this is in Philippians. And he says, rejoice, Rejoice. This man is in a prison and he's talking about rejoice, which tells us that God isn't looking for our circumstances to be perfect, to rejoice Him. He's just commanding us to rejoice. We always have something to rejoice about. And I talked about this on Ebenezer's podcast. I'm Like, I. I've learned that. That the Lord. It's kind of funny. The Lord will provoke us. The Lord will command us to have an emotion. And it's like. That's kind of weird, right? Like, if I were to look at you right now and say, be sad, it's like, okay. Or be happy, it's like, okay. We can't always make ourselves feel something like that, right? But. But when you look at Scripture, it's like Scripture is commanding us to feel things or to. To. To invoke an emotion that we may not have. So for me, what I've learned is, is that if the. If Scripture is telling me to rejoice, then I need to pause and ponder on something that provokes that emotion, that provokes a joy out of me, right? So if I think, even if I don't have any present circumstances, my life could be in all shambles and chaos, right? I could be going through a trial. I could be suffering. I could be depressed or whatever, ever with my circumstances. But if Scripture is telling me to rejoice, that means that I have to. I have to activate a memory. I have to activate a thought that provokes that emotion so that I can rejoice. Choosing to rejoice means choosing to have joy. So I have to now think. I can always think on two major events that are guaranteed and promised in the Word that can provoke those. That emotion that rejoice out of me. One has already happened. Christ died on the cross. Think about how you are saved. He died on the cross. He was buried and he rose from the grave. He atoned for our sins. He took on the wrath that we deserved. I can rejoice in that. So now I get to stand. I get to approach God's throne with boldness. I get to stand before God, blameless with Christ's righteousness. I can. I can rejoice in that. That is something to rejoice, regardless of what my circumstances are. And then I can think on an event that is soon to come, very soon to come. And I think on Revelation 21, when. When Christ comes back, he's going to make all things new. He's going to wipe every tear from our eyes. There's going to be no more suffering, no more mourning. Right? Right. He's going to make all things new. And so when I think about those two things, I can rejoice. I don't have to think hard. I don't have to even look around. I can just think on those two things, and it will produce a joy. In me, I always have something to rejoice about, regardless of my circumstances. So I. I want us to be. Yes, I want us to be serious about saying yes to the Lord. Lord. I believe it's important that we are serious about saying yes to the Lord, but I want us to be equally as important as delighting ourselves in the Lord, abiding in his love and enjoying our relationship with Him. We get to have a relationship with the holy, perfect God of all creation. That is a. An honor and a privilege that we get to have a relationship with him, we get to talk to him him, we get to commune with Him. And so I. I think if we abide and we focus on God's love for us, it would produce more joyful obedience in our walk with Him. So, anyway, I, I could go on and on about this, which I probably will for the rest of this season, because again, that's just where I am. But I pray that you know, this episode gives you a moment to even just pause and ponder on all of this. That. Go look in the word, go read John 14. Go read first John 4. Go read all of Romans 5, mainly 5 through 5. And just, just, just immerse yourself into scripture that talks about God's love. Get it in your system, Know that you're loved, know that you're a son and daughter. And then allow everything that you do do in this Christian walk. Let it come from a joyful, willing obedience. Not an obedience that feels like a burden, but obedience that feels like a gift. And so, yeah, I pray that this encourages you. Before we leave, I kind of just want to do something that I normally don't do, but I just want to pray for those who are watching. I just want to pray for you. I want to pray for your hearts and your minds. So, yeah, Lord, I thank you for you. I thank you, God, for your word. I thank you, God, for your love, your steadfast love. I thank you, God, for your faithfulness. I thank you, God, for loving us before we ever acknowledged you, before we ever repented, before we ever started on our journey as a Christian. Lord, I just. I just thank you that you loved us first. I pray, Lord, for every single person that's watching this episode and that's listening to this episode. I pray, Lord, that right now, by the power of your Holy Spirit, that you would pour your love into their hearts. I pray, Lord, that they would be secure in your love, that your love, God, would drown out insecurities. Lord, your Word says that perfect love casts out all fear. So Father I just pray Lord for an for an abundance of your love in the hearts of every single person listening or watching this episode right now. Father I pray Lord that they would not feel burdened in their relationship with you God, but they would feel they would have joy, that they would enjoy you, that they would delight when they open the word and and they read the Scriptures, the scriptures that are God breathed. I just pray, Father that they would enjoy it, that they would delight in it, that this is the word of the the true and living God. I pray Lord that they would know that their identity is in you. I pray Lord that they would remember that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. I pray Lord that they will would remind themselves and know that when they said yes to you that they were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit and the spirit of adoption. I pray Lord that they would just be reminded that they are your sons and they are your daughters. I pray God that they would not just begrudgingly be a living sacrifice, but they would willfully and joyfully be a living sacrifice for you. I pray Father that they would be serious about your law and they would be serious about your commands to abide and serious about your commands to rejoice. I pray Lord that they would love you because you love them first. So God, I just thank you. I thank you for them. And I pray Lord that they would receive your love right now, wherever they are. Whether they're in their car, whether they're in the kitchen, whether they're at work, on their lunch break, wherever they are. Father, I just pray that your love is being poured into their hearts right now. May they receive it in Jesus mighty name. Amen. I love you guys. I'll see you next week.
- [53:03]
Megan Ashley
Hey y', all, thank you so much for being here with me on In Totality this week. If this episode bless you or challenged you or even stirred up some something in your spirit, go ahead and like this video. Drop a comment below and share with us what part of the conversation really stuck out the most. Share with someone who you think might benefit from watching this. It really helps the show. And listen, if you want more of In Totality on a weekly basis, then join my Patreon community. You get early access to watch In Totality episodes, exclusive behind the scenes content and in totality DocuSign series which is like my vlog, first access to merch drops events, Bible studies where we're walking through the word together, book clubs and so much more. We're growing in our faith together and I would love for you to be
- [53:50]
Guest or Co-host
a part of it.
- [53:51]
Megan Ashley
If you haven't already. Subscribe and tap the notification bell so that you never miss an episode. Thursdays. You'll find me right here on YouTube in the live chat when the episode premieres. I hope this message encouraged you today. I pray that you find a good godly community and a Bible based church where you're rooted in love and growing. Keep stepping into God's truth in totality. I'll see you next time.