← In Totality with Megan Ashley
In Totality with Megan Ashley
EP 109: God as the Theme (Not a Topic): Discipling Your Kids in Daily Life
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Okay, let's be real for a second. Sometimes you just need a little escape, like a moment to step away from your normal routine, breathe a little and just enjoy some light and fun. Now, maybe you can just drop everything and book a flight to Italy like I want to do right now, but you can take a trip to the theaters on April 10th for you, me and Tuscany. Now listen guys, I am a hopeless romantic. I love a good rom com, especially when it actually makes you feel something. This one is from Will Packer, the same producer behind Girls Trip. So you know it's gonna have those really big laughs and some heartfelt moments too. It stars Halle Bailey and Reggae John Page. And honestly, that alone is enough to get me there. Beyond that, it really has everything you want. Heart, humor, and the kind of chemistry that keeps you locked in the whole time. And it's set in Tuscany, guys. Like the vineyards, the scenery. It's given full escape in the best way. This is the kind of movie you go see when you want to unw, laugh a little and just enjoy yourself. It's perfect for date night or even just grabbing some of your girls and making a fun night out of it. Get Lost in the Sauce with youh, Me and Tuscany directed by Kat COIRO in theaters April 10th. This podcast is brought to you by Avocado Mattress. And if healthy comfortable sleep matters to you, this is one organic brand worth knowing. That's because what you sleep on actually matters. Most mattresses rely on synthetic foams and chemical materials that trap heat, break down over time, break or off gas. Avocado does it differently. Their mattresses are handcrafted with natural materials, organic latex, organic wool and organic cotton designed to be naturally cooling, incredibly supportive and long lasting. They're certified organic by Gotz and meet multiple non toxic and safety certifications made for people who care about their health and the environment without sacrificing comfort. I love that Avocado proves you don't have to choose between comfortable, supportive sleep and your values. And now during our Earth Month sale, you can get up to off Avocado mattresses. Just go to avocadogreenmattress.com get up to 15% off@avocadogreenmattress dot com avocadogreenmattpress.com what's up family? Before we jump into today's episode, I want to share something close to my heart. Our in totality Patreon community, the Village. If you ever listen to the podcast and you thought wow, I really wish there was more, this is exactly why I created this space. You'll receive early access to every episode, so while others are hearing it for the first time, you'll it and soaking it in. But it's not just that. You'll also get access to the In Totality docu series, which is like my vlog, which shows what I do when I'm not on the podcast. And that's not it. You'll also be the first to know about Merch drops events and opportunities to connect in real life. One of my favorite parts is our Bible study and book clubs where we're walking through scripture together and encouraging one another in the faith. On Patreon, we are building a community that truly desires a relationship with the Lord, pursues truth and supports one another and I would love for you to be a part of that. So if you want more, come join the village on Patreon. The link is in the description and I can't wait to see you there. I kind of wanted to lean into just parenting and discipleship. A major part of my life is is being a mom. I've learned to not make God a topic in our home, but more so the theme of our home. And so it's just building this cadence where spiritual disciplines and the Lord is a part daily routine. They have Bible studies, they have Bibles, they have devotionals, they have literature that is fit for their con their age appropriate context. To become a disciple, it should not be used as a punishment. You should just read your Bible because you're a disciple on the way to church, on the way to basketball practice or soccer or baseball, whatever. Take the time and ask them some thought provoking questions. What do you love about God? What's one thing that's been hard this week? And how can I pray for you? I asked my kids that. If you want to raise faithful Christian disciples, then you yourself have to be a faithful Christian disciple. Sorry. What's up guys? Welcome back to another episode of Into Talia. I was literally telling the team this is literally not a paid ad, but have y' all had this? This is the poppy grape. First of all, I just want to say that there are times in my life, in random days where I just crave a grape soda. Y' all remember just chugging down grape sodas when we were kids? Like grape sodas are or orange sodas or strawberries. Who's had a Tahitian tree? Have you ever had Tahitian treat? Is that a Midwest thing? You never had a Tahitian treat. I love Tahitian treat. If you haven't heard, haven't had or heard of a Tahitian tree. It's like a fruit punch soda. That sounds good. Oh, it's so good. Oh, with some pizza or some chips or a sandwich. Two liter. Oh, my. I like about it that can just crack. That can open nice and cold. Anyway, I'm trying to do better. And not that this is like, the healthiest thing in the world, right? But I love grape soda. And this. It still remember, Jordan, when I asked you to taste it, you were like, it does taste like grape soda. It's not like, you know, some of these. What is this, a prebiotic? Some of those sodas with all the extra stuff don't be really tasting that great. But this one. And I promise, y', all, this is not a paid app. This is good. Now, Poppy, if you wanna. You know what I'm saying? You wanna sponsor. We like grape, we like orange. We like Poppy over here. So listen, if y' all wanna send us some. It's only 5 grams of sugar, only 30 calories. Like I said, it's not water, which is the healthiest option. But if you want, you know, a little soda fix, this is good. I really like it. I wouldn't even mind letting my kids drink that. Like, I probably will move towards getting more poppies than I like. Y' all know me. I am a Canada Dry aholic. I'm addicted to. To ginger ale. Only Canada dry, though. All that other stuff I don't like, but Canada Dry I love. Anyway, welcome back, guys. Welcome back to another episode. I'm your host, Megan Ashley, and I'm here again with the team. Jordan J and Nick are here again with me. And today I wanted to talk like, y' all know that this podcast is, you know, I want to be transparent, vulnerable, honest, and kind of walk you through the things that the Lord is growing me in and stretching me in. And a. A major part of my life is. Is being a mom. And I think I don't talk enough about, you know, my experiences as a mother, how I raise my kids. A few times I've talked about, you know, the emphasis on discipleship when it comes to raising my kids, but I kind of wanted to lean into just parenting and what in. In discipleship. And I thought about. I actually. I don't even know how this subject came up. I think I was talking to Jackie and she was encouraging me on how I kind of raised the kids and build a cadence of discipleship in the household. And she was like, you know, I think you should talk More about it. You don't talk enough about discipling your kids and. And parenting, and you should talk more about it. And I was like, you know what? Cool. I gotta fill up these episodes anyway, so might as well talk about it. So, yeah, I wanted to kind of just touch on what it means to be a godly parent and kind of how that shows up for me. And one of the. One of the main things that I want to start with is that I've learned to not make God a topic in our home, but more so the theme of our home. Does that make sense? Like making him a theme and not just a topic. And so everything that we do being centered around the Lord. And the reason why I feel like this is so important is because you want to build a daily kind of cadence in a rhythm with the Lord. So when it comes to parenting, we know that we want to train our kids to be productive citizens, right? We want them to know how to clean their rooms, and we want to make sure, like, they do their homework, right? So you'll have a routine with your kids where they come home, maybe they get a snack, maybe they do their homework, then they can play outside. There are some parents who like for their kids to come home, play for a little bit. So that way, you know, they just got back from school. I am not that parent. I like, you're already in the rhythm of school, so just go ahead and get your homework done. That way you have the rest of your night to kind of just chill. But I think it's important to implement and. And weave in spiritual disciplines in. In a kid's normal cadence. So my kids, they come home from school, they get a snack, you know, and I kind of let them kind of decompress for about 15, 20 minutes, get their snack, and then it's like, okay, time to do your homework. Then you have to do a Bible study. You know, with Eli, he's 15, so I allow him to do that. He can kind of pick the time that he does that. But for Jonah, it's more. So you have to do a Bible study when. After you get your homework done. And so it's just building this cadence where. Where God is a part, like spiritual disciplines and the Lord is a part of their daily routine. And the reason why this is so important to me is because I saw so often growing up how spiritual disciplines, like, at the end of the day, if we're Christians, we should be reading God's word, right? And so my children, apart from Caleb, because Caleb hasn't you know, vocally declared that he is a Christian, even though Caleb shows evidence of the fruit of the Spirit. We believe that Caleb is saved. But Caleb has never, obviously, because he's nonverbal, he's never said, I am saved, but he shows evidence of the fruit of the Spirit. But with Jonah and Eli, they have been baptized. They have, you know, repented of their sins. They have given their lives to Christ. They've, they've dedicated themselves to the Lord. So that wasn't a decision that was forced on them. They, they made that decision on their own to get baptized, to be sa. Like, they made that decision on their own. I just hold them accountable to that decision. So because you say you're a Christian, I'm going to hold you accountable to what being a Christian means. And so even at your young age, Eli's 15, Jonah's 11. Even at their ages, they have Bible studies, they have Bibles, they have devotionals, they have literature that is fit for their con, their age appropriate context to become a disciple. And so they come home, they do their homework and then they do their Bible study. And it's just part of our daily, daily routine. But I think I saw often how like, spiritual disciplines that we should just be doing as Christians was used as a weapon against, like a weapon for punishment. So it was like a kid would get in trouble at school and was like, go read your Bible, you know, or you, you got a bad grade and it's like, now you gotta read Romans. And it's like, I don't know if that is making disciples. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know if that's helping kids delight in God's word. I think it kind of even puts this emphasis on like God being the bad guy. Like he's, you know, like, you're only going to the Lord because you got in trouble. And so I want to help parents kind of wean away from that. Like the Lord, the Lord and spiritual discipline should just be woven into your everyday routines. It should not be used as a punishment. Now, Jordan and I were talking about this the other day. I don't think there's anything wrong with, like we were saying the example, like if a kid lies, bust out that, that, that. What is it? That pencil in that paper. Yeah, but what's it called? The rule? Something that, oh, I, thou shall not lie. No, the paper, the type of paper. Oh, college rule, college rule. Going to bust out that college rule paper and a pencil and write, thou shalt not lie. You know, for sure, 180 times. I don't. That to me is not. I'm not tripping about that because it builds. Yeah. Like you now you. That's in you now you know better for sure because you didn't wrote it 150 times. Thou shall not lie. That should provoke something in you when you go to lie the next time. Right? So I'm not talking about that, but I'm talking about using spiritual disciplines to discipline your kids instead of just making spiritual disciplines a cadence and a practice for kids. I just think that that's important. And so for me, it's like, yeah, I want with Jonah and let me set this up to say I'm. I want to talk about this to encourage parents that you don't have to be a perfect discipler, a perfect parent. You just got to be faithful. That's all the Lord is asking you to do, just be faithful. Even if it's over some. Even if it's something little, like maybe it's just before the kids go to bed, you're praying with them at night. Maybe it's taking 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes before they go to bed and just reading Psalms to them, you know what I'm saying? It doesn't have to be, you know, we're gonna get through the text and exegete all the things and, and find the doctrine of this. And like, I'm not saying you got to do all that. I'm not asking you to be a theologian. You don't have to be a theologian to be faithful as a. As a parent who is making disciples, you know what I'm saying? And I think that again, I feel like it's so important where a lot of us are so zealous to make disciples of all nations that we're neglecting to make disciples in our own home. We're so zealous to go and tell TikTok about, I don't know, astral projection and monitoring spirits and whatever. And we're not making disciples in our own home. We're not teaching our kids to delight in God's word. We're not teaching our kids to love their neighbor. We're not teaching our kids to be faithful in maintaining unity in the home with their brothers and sisters, you know what I'm saying? Like, the basic stuff, our children are. Some are. Are something that we have to steward as well, you know what I'm saying? And so I'm not saying that it has to be super rigorous, but just do something, be faithful with something. When it comes to making disciples in your home. Starting off with making God a common theme in our home, right? Making prayer and like, spiritual disciplines, like, making that common. And what I think is really what I have learned just being a parent, that it's really hard to instruct your kid to be something that you don't do or practice yourself. It's hard for my. For me to make a disciple out of my children when I'm not being a disciple myself. It's hard for me to be. To make my children be faithful Christians if I'm also not being a faithful Christian myself. It's hard for me to tell my kids to pray and to be faithful in reading their word if I'm also not doing it myself. And it's important that your children are seeing you do it more than just hearing you tell them to do it. So my kids hear me tell them to do it, but they also see me do it more. More times than not. If my kids come into my room, they see a Bible open. There have been multiple times where my kids have walked into my room. Even Jordan. I will be on my face weeping. Jordan be like, do, do, do. She put a little coat in my room. Walk right in. I am on my face, and I'm okay with that. Kids have coat like I. I used to have. I don't even know why I have a lock on my door with a code on it anymore. But they, you know, they, they can. They. It's an open door policy. Y' all can come in my room anytime. You want to know why they can come in my room anytime? Because I'm a faithful Christian. I'm not doing nothing I shouldn't be doing. You know, it would be nice if they knocked because they never know if I'm, you know, may not have no clothes on. But for the most part, Eli said, I'm not making that mistake no more. He knocks now, Eli said, I'm not making that mistake, but it's an open door policy. They come in my room and yes, they see me pray. Yes, they read my word, yes, they see me like with my Logos app, and they see me wrestling through text and stuff like that. Like, they see that. So they. It's not just that they're hearing me tell them to do something, but they're also seeing me do it. They see me go to church, right? They see me worship. It's not just something I'm making them do, but I'm also living by example. And so again, if you want to raise faithful Christian disciples, then you yourself have to be a faithful Christian disciple. You know what I mean? Like, you first have to be that and live that before you can instruct your kids to do that. You know what I mean? And so, yeah, I just, number one, make God a theme and not just a topic in your home. I've, I've talked about this before, but, like, when Eli comes to me and he talks to me about things that maybe he's struggling with, I, I'm always serving the Lord. What do you think the Lord thinks about that? How do you think the Lord feels about that? What's a scripture that, you know, that kind of speaks to that? You know what I mean? And, and another thing, too, is I'm honest with my kids. If they talk to me, especially Eli because he's older, if he talks to me about stuff that he struggles with. And even Jonah, like, Jonah kind of struggles sometimes with, like, anxiety, and he has deep, big feelings. And so me and him are very similar in that way. Or if Eli is struggling with. I relate to them. Like, I don't immediately try to beat them over the head with the Word, but I, I share my experiences with them. Like, yeah, I get that. I've been, I've been, you know, I've struggled with that, too. Here's how. The Lord has kind of helped me in that way. And it was interesting because I, I, I want to give you guys some, like, I guess like a testimony or something, but Eli was struggling the other. I don't know if it was the other day, but a couple weeks ago, he's on a freshman basketball team, and Eli is not. Eli hasn't been playing basketball probably at. For the amount of time that his other teammates have. They've been probably playing basketball since they were, I don't know, three, four, five. Eli just really started playing, what, a couple years? Like, seventh grade? Sixth. Seventh grade. And he's grown tremendously. Like, I'm so proud of him. He's grown tremendously in playing basketball. Like, I'm sure Jay has footage from when Eli first started to now, and it's like, wow, you can really see the growth. And he's taking the game serious. Like, even knowing about the game, he, he's like a student of it. Like, he knows the game. He's just, I'm just really proud of him in that area. But he's had a few teammates on his freshman team that have gone to JV and even suited up for varsity. There's two of his teammates that were on the freshman team that got moved to jv, and they suited for. For varsity. And we were watching the varsity game after Eli's team had just played, and he sees the two old teammates who were on the freshman team who are now suiting up for. For varsity, and he was like, yeah. Like, he was like, if I'm honest, Mom, he was like, there's a part of me that's, like, really, like, happy for them, and. But then there's a part of me that's kind of like, dang, I wish I was suiting up for. For varsity, or I wish I was, you know, good enough to play on jv. Like, I want to be happy for them, but there's a part of me that is feeling a little jealous. And I don't know why that was so encouraging to me, because he was just so honest. Like, it wasn't like, most people wouldn't admit that. Most people be like, no, it's cool. Like, whatever. But he was just really honest about that. And they opened up this, like, beautiful conversation about, like, being content where the Lord has us, like, using that as fuel to grow and, like, learning how to, like, rejoice with those who are rejoicing, right? And being happy for our teammates, but also being honest with the Lord of, like, Lord, like, I'm happy for them, but I kind of wish I was, you know, a little further along, you know, And I don't know. It was just so relatable because I think, like, you know, the scripture where it talks about people having a measure, like, God has given everyone a measure of faith, like, like, gifts in a measure of faith. I think that there are some people who might see, like, you might see a Jackie Hill Perry, and you're like, dang, like, I wish I could exegete a text like that. I know. I know. I've had those. Those same insecurities where it's like, man, I wish that I could. Like, I wish I opened up Scripture and saw that or whatever, and just being honest with the Lord, but not. Not allowing that to produce, like, a covetousness in you, but allowing that to be like, yeah, I admire to be there one day, but at where I am right now, I'm content where God has me, and I'll be faithful and patient at the pace growing me. And so that was just an opportunity for me and Eli to kind of talk through that and. And dialogue through something that I could relate to. But. But. But God was at the center of it. Do you know what I'm saying? It was like, I didn't make him feel bad for where he was. But we just. I don't know, it just opened up a beautiful opportunity for us to relate to. To one another as disciples. Not even like Mother Son, but we were just both disciples sharing an experience that we both could relate to. And so, yeah, I just think it's really important to make God a theme in the home, no matter what the circumstances are. Whether it's basketball, whether it's a friend at school, whether it's some difficult teacher, whatever. Just like making God a common theme in the home all the time. Another thing is, is that you don't want, like, it's the Lord's kindness that leads us to repentance. I don't want us to, as parents, weaponize God's word as punishment to our kids. You know what I mean? We wanna, we want our kids to know that God loves them and that it is his kindness that leads us to repentance and his grace and his mercy that leads us to repentance. But not. I don't. I don't ever want my kids to. I don't even know the right word. It's not resent the Lord. I don't want them to resent spiritual disciplines because I've used spiritual disciplines as punishment. I want spiritual disciplines to just be a part of the normal cadence of our lives. Right. And. And allow the Lord and His Word and his Holy Spirit to, To produce a repentance out of them when they do something that they shouldn't do and not. Yeah. And not use it as, As a weapon. Something that I wrote down is like, discipline corrects behavior, but discipleship forms desire. And so it's like, I can discipline them, discipline them and that fix the behavior. But making God a theme in our house, that. And making them a disciple, it forms their desire. So when they do do something wrong, they have a desire to repent. You know what I mean? Because they, they, they. The spiritual disciplines is a theme in our home, right? It's a. It's already part of their normal cadence. And so because they are in God's Word, which is a living, breathing word, right? That the Lord will produce and pour his love into their hearts. And, and they, and they build their own relationship with the Lord where that will desire their rep. Like push them to a place of repentance if they do something wrong where. But I'm not using God's word to shame them or to make them, you know, to condemn them. Like, I don't. I never want to do that with my kids. But I think sometimes if we're not mindful, that can easily happen where it's like, you know what? Go read your Bible. And it's like, okay, yes, read your Bible. But you shouldn't just have, you shouldn't be told to read your Bible because you got in trouble. You should just read your Bible because you're a disciple, you're a Christian. You know what I mean? And, and the other part about Bible reading, the reason why I make a, an emphasis on that with the kids, is because we are living in the most biblically illiterate generation right now. We are biblically illiterate. I don't want to raise biblically illiterate children. So where they may not be able to completely exegete a text, right now, at least we're having conversations around the text, right? Where they, they might be reading scripture. And, and I am at least guiding them in some way to start to look for Christ, even in the Old Testament. Like, if they're reading Old Testament scripture, I'm like, okay, what part of this would tell. Tells me about Christ? What part of this tells me or point out an attribute of God in this text? Like little things like that. It doesn't have to be super rigorous again, but it can just be something that you. A cadence with discipleship and spiritual disciplines with your kids, even at a young age. And you can do that in ways that are in context, in ways that are appropriate, age appropriate for them, right? When it comes to discipleship, it's built through daily cadence and not crisis moments. And so again, it can't be something major happened. And that's when I'm applying spiritual disciplines. It just has to be applied daily. It has to be something that is applied daily. And I've talked about this before. In Deuteronomy 6, God gives, gives us very clear instructions on how we should train our children. He says, listen, Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children, talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up, right? So it's like it has to be a part of the daily routine. It cannot just be when something major happens. It can't just be if a family member, if something sad happens to a family member or if they got a bad, you know, a bad grade and you're trying to correct Their behavior in some. Like it can't be for crisis moments or the teacher called and they said your kid was acting up. So now we're applying scripture, you know what I mean? It's not that the scripture can't be applied, but it's not the only time it's applied. Scripture is applied all the time in the household, right? You walk into Caleb's room. Caleb is non verbal, but you walk in his room and there's scripture everywhere in his room. It's on the wall. He's surrounded by it when he goes to sleep. Sometimes we play kid like children sleep music that, that speaks scripture. It's just around them all the time. Do you know what I mean? I just think that that's extremely important that, that God is not an interruption to our lives, but he's integrated in our lives. Like he is our life. He is the center of our lives. I just think that that's extremely important. The other thing that I think is really important is that, that we don't want to have well behaved kids, but we want to have Disciples of Christ. So that to me is a heart thing. Like I'm constantly putting before the kids to interrogate their hearts. Eli especially because Eli does a really good job at like doing the right thing, even if his heart ain't in the right place. And so I'm always interrogating like, Eli did something. I don't know if he. I gave him an instruction to do something and he said yes, but there was like a look on his face where it was like, yeah, you said yes. You said yes, ma'. Am. But there was like a little. I don't feel like doing that right. So he still did the right thing. He said yes, ma' am and did what I told him to do, but he did it with the wrong heart posture. And so it's like I could have just let him get away with doing the right thing. But when I. When you're making disciples, you're also interrogating the heart posture behind the right thing to do, right? Like that Tim Keller quote. It's like, we don't just repent of the things we do wrong, but we repent for the reasons why we did anything good. If the reason. If you're doing good things with the wrong heart posture, like, I gotta, I gotta get that in them now at a young age. I gotta get that in them now. When they, when the boys are, are. I don't know, when they're fighting, when all the things, it's like, yes, I let Them be kids and you. And. And sometimes it feels like a heart balance. Sometimes it's like, when do. When do I just let kids be kids? But then when do I, you know, bring in scripture so that they're not. I don't know. So that they're trained the right way? I don't know. And sometimes that can feel hard or not feel like. I don't know where the line is. But again, if the Lord is a theme and not just a topic, then it shouldn't be unfamiliar to them. It should just be like, of course Mom's bringing up Scripture because that's just what. That's just what we always do. Of course mom is asking me if God would be pleased with that, because that's just what we do. And so I just think it's really important that, yeah, like, we're focused on making disciples. Not just well behaved kids, but disciples. Like, are you making disciples in your home? And, and are we being mindful that they're not going to stay kids forever, that they're going to be adults? And so are, am I. Am I doing. Am I stewarding their lives in a way that produces faithful Christians later on in their lives? And I just think that that's something that we have to be mindful of. And for me, again, it's like I have a platform and the Lord has graced me to, to share the gospel, to make disciples. But I would be so wrong to do that in such a public way and not do that privately in my own home. You know, parenting is hard parenting. There is no one size fits all. There is no manual. Like, do it this way and you're guaranteed to have perfectly. You know what I'm saying? All I can do is just be faithful. I can't guarantee that Jonah and Eli are, I don't know, gonna be pastors and deacons and whatever. I can't promise that. I can't even promise that they'll be in ministry. I don't know. But what I do know is, is that that while they're in my care, while I have the opportunity to steward their lives, I'm going to do it in a way that glorifies the Lord and do it in the way that he's called me to do it, where I am training them up in the way that they should go. I am training them to be disciples. I am trained. I pray over my kids every single day before they get out of the car. And I just pray. I'm like, lord, I pray that they are led by you. And that they are men of integrity who are faithful to you, who do things to honor you. Like, I pray that for my kids. I, I think that they. We think that discipleship is supposed to start at a particular age, and discipleship is from the moment they come out the womb. It's like, okay, I'm making a disciple. And I'm. And I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm gonna be diligent in, in stewarding their lives in a way that honors the Lord and, and produces faithful Christians. And I. All I can do is just pray that the Lord will do that work. I can just do what he's called me to do, which is be faithful to them. And so I know that I have a lot of parents that watch this podcast, a lot of moms, grandmas, whatever. I just want. I want you to not be burdened with the task. I want you to know that it's a gift. Like our children are a gift from the Lord and release you of the pressure that it's stewardship, not ownership. At the end of the day, they belong to the Lord. They just do. They. They are not yours. They are His. But you are tasked and responsible and accountable to stewarding their lives. Well, and to stewarding their lives means making them a disciple and allowing the spiritual disciplines to be a normal cadence in your home. I just think that is really important. I really do. Like, the Lord is not. And please don't be. Don't allow the enemy to confuse you, to think that you have to be this perfect parent. You know what I mean? God isn't calling for perfect parents. He's calling for faithful parents. Just be faithful. Be faithful to the Lord and be faithful in making disciples in your home. And so I just want to challenge all of you that, you know, consistency matters. It's the consistency, not the intensity of it, but the consistency of it. Kids respond well to structure and consistency that I do know. You want to. You want productive children. Consistency and structure. Give them a routine and be consistent in it. If you are requiring them to do chores, continue to make them do chores no matter what. Build a routine My kids have every single day they have a chore to do. Not just because I don't feel like cleaning up everything. That is a thing. I don't feel like cleaning up everything. However, you are a member of this household, and so you should have a responsibility to help keep and maintain and stewarding the household. Because when you become a grown man, you're going to have to have that same discipline. Do you see what I'm saying? It's just the structure, like, structure and consistency. Every single day they have a chore to do. Every single day they have to do their homework. Every single day they do a devotional or some type of Bible reading. It's in their normal cadence. And so I pray that when, when the boys are grown men and they're off to college and they're off, you know, even beyond college, that that would be such a normal routine in them. They won't depart from that. Even when they are out of my care, that I have trained them in a way that they won't depart from those routines. And so my priority again isn't just to have well behaved children, but it's to have FAI disciples. I want them to know that the Lord loves them. I want them to know the gospel. I want them to understand what it meant for Christ to die on the cross. Like we talk about this stuff. Even, even giving them the opportunity to pray. Sometimes it's like, no, I'm not going to pray. You pray. I want you to know that you can talk to the Lord for yourself. I know, for me, I live so much of my life thinking that my, my faith was my mom's faith, right? Like my mom is faithful to the Lord and I'm just gonna cling to her faith. It's like, no, my mom's relationship with the Lord was her relationship with the Lord. And my relationship with the Lord has to be mine. And the same for my children. I want them to see that I have a relationship with the Lord. And I, and I wanted to train them to have their own relationship with the Lord. And so, so for all of the parents watching this, I really pray that this encourages you. I don't want you to feel any shame or condemnation because that's not the point of this. The point of this is to really just encourage you to do something, to do something towards discipleship. It doesn't have to be big and grand, but just do something. Go to Amazon and get them a Bible. Get one that's age appropriate. It start them off with a kids devotional. They have kids devotionals. They have devotional for little boys, they have devotional for teen boys, teen girls, little girls, whatever. Get them a Bible. Get them some devotional, some, some Bible literature and maybe it's just okay, before bed every night we read a scripture together. It can be simple as that, that. But just know that if the Lord has entrusted you with children, it is on you to steward them in the way that he's called you to steward them. And it's on you to make disciples in your home. That is our responsibility as parents. But don't use scripture to beat your kids up. Don't use it for, for punishment because you don't want kids that were resented. By the time they get out of your care, they'll resent it. It though. They won't read the word, they won't delight in God's word. They, they'll resent God. But if, if, if you teach them how to delight in it and it becomes a part of the normal cadence and the normal theme of your house, I promise you, when they get old, they won't depart from it. I really don't believe that they will. I, I'm evidence of that myself, truly. Me and how my mom raised me. Yeah, I just pray that that encourages everyone who are parents. It can be difficult. It can be hard. It can be even hard to know like, where to put the emphasis on is it, you know, whatever. All I'm saying is do something. Make one step towards making disciples of your children. Just take a step. Go buy the Bible. Go get the devotional. Go get some, you know, if your child is five or whatever, go get some coloring books. Jesus loves me. The, it can be as simple as that. Jesus loves me. And then, and then take time on those car rides to school, on the, on the way to church, on the way to basketball practice or soccer or baseball, whatever, dance practice, whatever your kid does, take the time and ask them some thought provoking questions. I asked Jonah this all the time. I'm like, what do you love about God? What do you love about God? What's one thing that's been hard this week? And, and how can I pray for you? I asked my kids that. And so, yeah, I just, I hope this encouraged you. I really pray that you don't hear, I don't know. I pray that this doesn't discourage you or make you feel like, dang, I'm not doing none of that. So I'm a bad parent. No, no, no, no, no. This is, this is a grace and a mercy that, that you're even listening to this and God is kind of like, just do something. I'm not angry at you, I'm not fussing at you. Just do something. You know, go get the Bible, go get the devotional and just take one day at a time, one spiritual discipline at a time. Because remember, these kids aren't always going to stay kids. They're going to grow up to be adults. So we have to. We have to raise them and train them and disciple them with the future in mind. Mind. I just think that that's vital and very important. And so I wanted to kind of just share with you guys some of the things that I do with the kids and I. And as I think more on things and as things come up, I'll. I'll be, you know, a little bit more diligent to share some of the ways where maybe I've failed and some of the ways where I found success, but the practical things that I am seeing fruit of is just keeping God a thing in the house, having those conversations, making it a normal cadence. That has been. I have seen the fruit and just doing that. And so I think that that. Yeah, I think that that is a thing. And so I hope that encourages you to do something. Maybe I'll put on my Amazon storefront. Nicole, remind me to put some. Like, some of the things that I bought the boys. Yeah. Some resources for them and parents. I'll even put some books. Books. Some books. I know Melissa Krueger. Yeah, we're gonna have Melissa Krueger, I think, on the podcast, hopefully within the next couple of months. And she has a book about parenting. And so I'll put some resources out there for you guys, too, because, you know, it's hard. It's hard being a parent, and then it's a whole nother layer. When you're a Christian parent, it's like, lord, I'm trying to make them productive citizens, and I got to make them disciples. And the emphasis has to be on both. The emphasis has to be on both. And so, anyway, I pray that this encourages you. I don't really have a journal prom. More of like, just go talk to your kids about the Lord and see what happens. Like, go ask your kids, what do you think about Jesus? How do you feel about God? Do you think God loves you? Just little questions like that. Because all of our children are a different age range, so it's hard to. You got to kind of cater it towards what's age appropriate. But just be curious with your ch and trust me, you will learn so much. It will make you a better teacher of God's word. When you start to teach your kids God's word, like, when you have to start explaining things to them, it starts to build a. A discipline even in you to learn how to teach God's word. Because kids will stump you. You'll be like, you know what? Actually, I don't. I don't know. Let me go. Let me go research that or let me go think about that. They'll make great teachers out of you. Yeah. Anyway, I just pray that that encourages you guys. I love you. And yeah, go make. Go make some disciples. All right, see you later. Hey y'. All, thank you so much for being here with me on In Totality this week. 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