← In Totality with Megan Ashley
In Totality with Megan Ashley
EP 117: Your Testimony Is Enough: Stop Comparing & Go Make Disciples
01:13:40
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- [00:00]
Megan Ashley
What's up, family? Before we jump into today's episode, I want to share something close to my heart. Our In Totality Patreon community, the Village. If you ever listen to the podcast and you thought, wow, I really wish there was more. This is exactly why I created this space. You'll receive early access to every episode, so while others are hearing it for the first time, you'll already be watching it and soaking it in. But it's not just that. You'll also get access to the In Totality docuseries, which is like my vlog, which shows what I do when I'm not on the podc. And that's not it. You'll also be the first to know about merch drops, events and opportunities to connect in real life. One of my favorite parts is our Bible study and book clubs where we're walking through scripture together and encouraging one another in the faith. On Patreon, we are building a community that truly desires a relationship with the Lord, pursues truth, and supports one another. And I would love for you to be a part of that. So if you want more, come join the village on Patreon. The link is in the description. And I can't wait to see you. What is God doing in you? And when I take inventory of what he's done in me, there has been growth. That has to be enough. And that has to be the more important thing. I may not have all the right words, I may not have all the dense theology, and I may not have all the correct terminologies, but what I do know is, is I have my experience with Christ. I had that experience on the porch. I. I have that. And so if the porch is the only thing I preach for the rest of my life, that was real. That was enough to change my life, and God will use it to change other people's life. What Christ did in your heart really happened, and that is enough to tell everyone about. And God will use that to. To render the hearts of people to Himself. And that can be enough. That is enough. Go where he's sending you. Don't worry about if you should be in this space or should you do. Where is he sending you? And go do that. What's up, you guys? Welcome back to another episode of In Totality. I'm your host, Megan Ashley. I'm actually kind of getting tired of that intro, like, a little bit. Yeah, I wonder if there's, like, a better way to just intro. But I. I mean, I'm okay with it because it is like, welcome back but it's like, what's up, guys? We're back.
- [02:32]
Jordan
Hey, everybody.
- [02:34]
Megan Ashley
Anyway, here we are back again. I'm doing another episode by myself, but not by myself because I have my amazing team here. Jay, Jordan and Nicole are here. And, yeah, we are just, you know, getting through another. Another great week of recording episodes. But I wanted to have this conversation with you guys and with the team because last night we. We had our Bible study with the Patreon community, the Village, and. And just a simple plug, like, if you haven't joined, you need to go ahead and do that. If you are looking for community, discipleship, ways to just, like, fellowship with somebody else, somebody maybe that you don't know, that live in different places, different contexts. The community is so diverse. And I don't know, last night was really special because I. That was like a. There was a moment in our Bible study where one of the village members who just hasn't been around and been at a lot of the Bible studies recently kind of came back and it was really special and, like, everyone kind of was just excited and celebrating. So, like, we really are a community and a family over there. And so if that's something that you desire to have, I. I really encourage you to join the Patreon community. You. Not only do you get the episodes before everybody else, but you get behind the scenes. You get a vlog of Jay Jordan and I and the kids and all of our crazy shenanigans. And what else you get?
- [04:05]
Jordan
Bible studies.
- [04:06]
Megan Ashley
Bible studies.
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Jordan
Playlist.
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Megan Ashley
I haven't done a playlist in a long time. I probably need to do a new one. I haven't done a playlist in a long time.
- [04:14]
Jordan
They're still on there.
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Megan Ashley
Yeah, but they're still on there.
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Jordan
The playlist, the save, like all the books that the village has ever read and the zooms on there. Yeah, first access to merch.
- [04:30]
Megan Ashley
That's a big one because the merch be flying out. So if you want to get the merch before everybody. And you know what's crazy is I was. I saw something today online, because Patreon is such a big platform and there are a lot of creators and content creators and podcasters and people who use the Patreon platform. Right. And I was looking at people's prices for Patreon. Jordan said, don't piss me off, please. I was looking and I was like, oh, wow, like, 59, 99, $60, even $25. I have. I have kept my. What is my Price on Patreon? 1499, 50 up 14.99. No tears for everything. No tears. And that price has been the same since I started in totality. Nicole said, yeah. Nicole said, yeah, that's a problem. But. But I. I said all that to say, like, I'm actually genuinely just invested into.
- [05:45]
Jordan
It's really cool.
- [05:46]
Megan Ashley
Like, it's not. I'm not trying to, like, gain anything with Patreon, but I am. But I am questioning. I'm like, am I being this Because. Oh, my gosh, I hope y' all are seeing how Jordan and Nicole are looking at me. They are looking at me like I am crazy. But I really. I don't know. And maybe I'm not being as wise, and maybe I do need to do tears, and maybe. I don't know. Maybe I do. But I said all that to say, not even to be like. Like, false humility. I just said all that to say that I'm genuinely invested in stewarding that well. Like, I. I genuinely just want to make disciples. I genuinely just want to. To curate a community of people who are fiercely pursuing the Lord. Like, I'm not trying to gain anything. And I think, like, that has kind of just been my approach to in totality. Like, I haven't really tried to, like, position myself in any type of way. I just. I kind of just want to do whatever the Lord is telling me to do. Um, and I think there's a twofold to that. I think part of it, if I'm just being honest and transparent, I think a part of it is, like, obedience, and then the other part of it is just fear. Like, I just want to do the bare, like, the bare minimum of what he's requiring me to do and, like, trying to step outside and, like, really, like, I'm just like, I can stand before you and say, I did it. But I feel like at the. Sometimes there's, like, this. I feel like the Lord is like, but, yeah, but are you, like, really giving it all that you can actually give?
- [07:18]
Jordan
For sure.
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Megan Ashley
Are you really giving it? Like, are you just doing it, or are you, like. You know what I mean? Like, I don't really promote stuff, and I don't. I don't know. I feel like I don't look at y'. All. I just. I am looking at two people.
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Nicole
I'm like, whenever you're ready.
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Jordan
Whenever you're ready.
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Megan Ashley
I am looking at the most. It's not even disappointment. I don't even know the word. But they are both like, yeah, you don't say. So when do you think you want to start huh? We're three years. We're three years in and you literally. They are looking at it. I mean, they're not. They're looking at me in the eyeballs. Is it like. They are like, yeah, buddy, what are you doing? But I. But I guess I said that to just be honest and, like, transparent. Like, it's, It's. Yeah, it kind of feel. It feels scary to like, really go in and be like, you know what I mean? I think that there's, like, expectation. Like, I don't want my expectations to be a certain way, and then like, that fails and then I'm disappointed. And then there's this balance of, like, I don't want to think too highly of myself. You know what I mean? I think I do a great job thinking lowly of myself. I aced that question.
- [08:36]
Jordan
I definitely would rather work under someone that not, in a sense, think lowly of themselves. But, yeah, I feel like we know, especially in the church industry and everything, like, being online, we know what it's like for people to just be so headstrong, head heavy. I'm doing this for the money. I'm doing this for the views. I'm doing this for the likes, for the love of other people. I'm doing this because I want to be people's idols. And it's like, I feel like we do need a drastic difference in the church leadership and ministry where it's like, yeah, I don't want to be the idol. I don't want the money, I don't want the followers. I don't want the attention. I literally just want to do the bare minimum and make disciples. That's it.
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Nicole
Yeah, I wouldn't even say the bare minimum. I wouldn't say you do the bare minimum. I think, like, maybe you play it safe, you know, but yeah, for sure.
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Megan Ashley
No, I think. I think that's exactly what it is.
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Nicole
I think there's a fine line.
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Megan Ashley
I think I play it really safe. Like, I think I'm like, I play it safe. And I think that's what I mean by when I say the bare minimum is like, I just play it safe. Like, I do just the thing.
- [09:47]
Jordan
That's that healthy fear that we was talking about in a couple episodes ago. Though. Like, you never want to be too confident in your own, but you also don't want to be too fearful where you're paralyzed. And I feel like you're on that. Like, you're going to walk. Like, I'm actually, I'm walking as soon as I see your foot The Lord's footstep. Like, I'm not doing this before you, but I'm also not lagging behind either.
- [10:07]
Megan Ashley
I just think every caution, but I think I'm. I think there's this thing where it's like. Where I would have to question myself, where it's like, but are you doing it by faith? Like, where does the faith part come in? Because if you're just doing what feels safe, then are you actually doing it by faith? Now, to be fair, anytime I come on this mic, it's by faith, because y' all know I don't want to. And it. It doesn't feel as you know it. I'm always struggling in some type of way where I'm like, I'm nervous. I don't know if I'm gonna say it. You know, I want to. I want, like, ultimately, if I'm being honest, like, my heart is like, I just want to lead people to Christ. That's literally all I want.
- [10:48]
Nicole
And I don't want it to be like, you don't want it to come off in any other way. You want the message to be clear that I'm here to help you with your relationship with the Lord.
- [10:59]
Megan Ashley
And I'm not trying to position. I don't want to position myself. And I want to be mindful. Because I think it's really easy to do when you grow a platform and you have a following. Like, I don't have the greatest. I don't have, like, extreme, huge following, but, like, any level of following. You know what I mean? When I think you don't want to. I don't want people to see me and see me. Just me. Like, I don't want. I don't want to be the thing.
- [11:29]
Jordan
Yeah.
- [11:30]
Megan Ashley
You know what I mean? I don't want to be the focus. Like, I want Christ to be exalted, and I want people to see my life and see him, not just me. You know what I mean? And that's. Sometimes that's even a struggle with, like, you know. Cause I'm into. Certain. I'm into fashion and makeup and, like, I want. You know, I like stuff like that. I love dressing up and, you know. But also, y' all have seen me in my real life, and I don't always look like this.
- [11:59]
Nicole
Like, it's your awareness that although your intent is not to do, to be the thing, that other people may still be placing you as the thing, even if it's not your intention.
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Megan Ashley
Yeah.
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Nicole
So it's like you're being mindful of the fact that things that are out of your control, you don't want to hinder, you know, like the vision and the mission that you have.
- [12:24]
Megan Ashley
Yeah, I don't ever want to become the distraction. Like, I just, like, I don't want to be the distraction. And there are so many. I don't know, there's just easy ways that that can happen. You know what I mean? And again, I'm also aware enough of the human heart and how deceitful it can be and the human condition to where I'm not. What's the word? I'm not exempt of being tempted to exalt myself above Christ and His mission and his, like, you know, design and purpose for what he's called me to do. I'm not exempt from that temptation to be a thing where it's like, I can look back and be like, oh, yeah, like, I. I had this podcast for three years. I've been doing it on my own. I got a following. I've. I've done this, I've done that, I've done that. Like, I bet. Bet I got it. You know, I'm not exempt from that temptation either. And so I think I've tried to learn the balance of, you know, again, not thinking highly of myself, which is not ever an issue for me. It's the thinking lowly of myself, but also thinking, but finding the balance to think accurately of myself. Think of myself in the way that Christ thinks of me and then the way the Lord sees me and in the way the Holy Spirit leads me, like, thinking accurately about that. And it's so crazy because I had no intent on talking about this. I was actually gonna talk about identity.
- [13:52]
Jordan
I was like, we can do the identity the next.
- [13:55]
Megan Ashley
Yeah. Cause I'm like, now that I'm here, this was what I told Jordan the other day that I kind of wanted to talk about. And I think that it has. I think it's in the vein of how we've kind of just started this conversation. So I'm just gonna lean in, lean into this. But I think when I've. When I've recently, I've just been, like, taking inventory and evaluating ministry as a woman. And, you know, with my specific context, it's like, I'm a woman, I'm a divorced woman, I'm in ministry. And I just been thinking a lot about that because I think I struggle a lot. And let me just preface all of this in saying that, like, I'm talking about my real life feelings, like, in real time, prayerfully, so that Maybe for some of you, there's. There's language to identify maybe some areas in where you're feeling. So I'm not trying to, like, oh, episode talk about me, but I'm, like, I'm trying. I want. I'm. I'm processing in real time, and I just kind of want to maybe provide language to maybe something that some ways in which other people may be feeling. And so I just want to preface this conversation by saying that, number one, but I've been processing part of. Of my insecurity when it comes to ministry and when it comes to the platform and when it comes to the podcast, and all the things is, like, I've. I've been like, where do I fit in in this? Like, where. Cause, you know, like, I look at, like, a Christine Cain, and I look at Priscilla Shire, and I look at, you know, all these women preachers, and they just, like. You know, it's like they know who they are, what they're called. Like, it's just very clear. Like, there's, like, a confidence and an assurance that they, like, they know what they're doing. And I feel like I haven't quite gotten to that place yet where I feel like, this is where you fit in. This is your lane. This is your thing. Like, I feel like I haven't gotten there yet, and I think. And maybe that's not a place to arrive to. I'm not sure. But it's caused me to feel a lot of insecurity because I don't know where I fit in in this whole. In this space. You know, I'm not a. I'm not a content creator. You guys know, I'm not out here doing TikToks and get ready with me, and I'm not propping up my camera and being like, I'm about to upset a bunch of y', all, but. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da. You know, like, that typical cadence of, like, I'm not. I'm not doing any of those things. I'm just kind of, you know, I get on the podcast and I try my best to express what God is doing in my heart and what he's doing in my life to exalt him and to magnify him and prayerfully lead hearts back to him. But if I'm being honest, there is this, like, insecurity of, like, I just don't know if I fit in, where I fit in, if I'm good enough. You know, like. And again, maybe it's also part of the people that I'M connected to because I have people in my life who I love and who I've been connected to who are just like, you know, like, Philip Anthony Mitchell just knows. Like, he's just like, he. He is who he is. He's strong. He knows what, like, you know, I don't know. And I have these people in my life that are just so. And I know they have their stuff, and they maybe deal with insecurities in different ways, but, like, I don't feel like I've come to that place of confidence in my gift or even being able to identify what the gift is. You know what I mean?
- [17:39]
Nicole
So something that Dr. Mason said when he was here last that I often think about, and I'm not saying this is what your lane is or, you know, putting a title on anything, but something that he said that was just very, like, it really left an impression was like, you're a believer, you know, like, you're a follower of Christ.
- [18:01]
Megan Ashley
Yeah.
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Nicole
And what's interesting about that is even how you're referring to, like, a lot of the other women that you see in ministry. Like, that's not something that even we, as followers of Christ have really witnessed. Like, we've never really witnessed someone who has a platform who is not just a believer, but it's like, that's a thing. You know what I mean? So I think, really, that's what I think. It's the fact that you share your real experiences and you share, like, literally your journey and all of the raw parts of Christianity, that's something that we have not had.
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Megan Ashley
Yeah.
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Nicole
You know, so, yeah, I just kind of want to encourage you with that, where it's like, yeah, like, that's the dope part.
- [18:57]
Megan Ashley
And it's maybe the. It's the identifying or not trying to, like, make the gift a specific thing, but just like. No, like, maybe you just being transparent and vulnerable is the gift. Maybe you just being honest and sharing is the gift. And, like, that can be enough, too. You know, it doesn't have to be you on a platform exegeting a text and giving five points and da, da, da, da, da. And I think in my mind, I feel like in my mind, I'm like, I should have arrived to that place by now where I'm preaching and I'm doing all the things, and it's like, you know, trying to find this, like, balance of, like, am I growing? You know, Like, I know where I am and comfortably, like, I'm comfortable here. I don't know if that's a good Thing.
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Jordan
Yeah, I definitely think, oh, Jesus, encouragement.
- [19:51]
Megan Ashley
Yeah.
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Jordan
I definitely believe that you're growing. And I do think because of the people that I do know that you have in your life, it is kind of hard to look at everybody else and be like, okay, well, I'm still kind of stuck here at this level, or, I'm not doing all of these things. So what does that say, like, about me? I do feel like the Lord, like, placed you specifically. There is no one that I know that their whole platform. We was talking about this before, but, like, your whole platform is based off of you always being authentically you. Like, most people that have podcasts, especially believers, they're starting off as teachers and preachers first, and then they're translating that onto a couch. And, like, even when people talk to me or I talk to people about in totality and what is it, or people that listen that aren't believers, it's like, no. She has a podcast where she's talking about the everyday life of a Christian. Like, what it's like to come to Christ. The everyday struggles. Not the struggles of I don't know how to exegete or isogy, but the simple struggle of, I don't want to speak today. Like, you're like, you. You're meeting people where they're at. And to me, it's like you are in your own lane. So you actually, like, not in a cocky way, but there is no competition, because there's nobody that's, like, doing that
- [21:08]
Nicole
competition, but there is no one else to look at to say, oh, that's because it's being formed.
- [21:15]
Jordan
Yeah. Which leaves you to only compare to people that aren't even doing what you're doing. Like, there's a Christine Caine and a Priscilla Schreier, but even them two are, in a sense, on the same. Like, do the same thing. But the audiences are different. Because a new believer in Christ, I'm sure, isn't jumping straight to Priscilla Schreier. Like, in the people that's like, kind of. You're like, the middle ground for people coming to the faith. Because it's like, I know a lot of unbelievers that I talk to, especially at my age, they're like, where do I start? I either got the Bible or I got these teachers or a Philip Anthony Mitchell just preaching at me, just talking at me. But whereas, like, the gentler people or the people that just came to the faith, because we're also listening to preachers and pastors that have been in the faith for years and years, and you're actually vulnerable enough to say, yeah, I grew up in church, but I just gave the Lord a serious yes three years ago. And it's like, even that's vulnerable because we're listening to people that, oh yeah, I grew up, like, I was a PK and I was doing children's ministry and all this stuff. Been in the faith 25 years. It's like, oh, of course you're teaching now.
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Nicole
But like, but what does it actually look like?
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Megan Ashley
Believe it or not, there are some believers in the Christian faith who spend years thinking that they're broken or failing God because they're struggling with unwanted, distressing thoughts. But this isn't a spiritual failure. These thoughts could be due to a common but overlooked condition, ocd. I'm talking about thoughts that interrupt worship. Like, am I praying right? Will God forgive me if I make a mistake in my prayer? I need to start over. I need to do it perfectly this time. Or maybe a blasphemous image that pops into your head that makes you feel. Feel like you sin just for thinking it. Unwanted thoughts like these can be a sign of a type of religious ocd, also known as scrupulosity. Ocd. It's a form of OCD that can turn your faith into a source of constant guilt, doubt, and fear. But because the condition is still widely misunderstood, a lot of people don't even know that it can show up in this way or even that it can center around their faith. But OCD isn't just about being neat or organized like most stereotypes are suggest. OCD latches on to what you care about most, causing a cycle of distressing, intrusive thoughts and behaviors done to get rid of the anxiety they create, like praying until it feels just right or trying to solve or figure out your thoughts. But any relief of these type of behaviors is short lived. So the cycle begins again. Many people silently struggle with religious ocd, thinking it's some sort of personal failure or lack of faith, where that may not be the case. It's a common type of OCD and highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. And that's where no CD comes in. No CD is the world's leading OCD treatment provider. All of these licensed therapists are trained in erp, or Exposure and Response prevention Therapy, the most effective treatment for ocd. No CD therapists deeply understand ocd, so they know that these thoughts don't mean anything about you. In live virtual sessions, they'll help you break free from OCD's grip while honoring your Faith so you can get back to focusing on what matters the most. No CD is covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans, and they provide support between sessions. So you're never going at this alone. If you think you might be struggling with any kind of OCD, don't wait. Head over to nocd.com and book a free 15 minute call with their team today and start reclaiming your thoughts from OCD. That's nocd.com that's n o c d dot com. Yeah, that's encouraging to me because I don't think I've seen it from that vantage point before or like looked at it in that way. And I do think that there is a protection that the Lord has given me to not really have a full view of the platform and of the. Because I think it protects me and it keeps me humble and it keeps me just normal and it keeps me being able to communicate and be transparent and vulnerable and honest in that way. But I have been thinking a lot about this and maybe because of the book and trying to write the book and thinking about how that might change things for me in a bit. And I don't know. And I'm always just wrestling with growth. I don't want to be. There's a part of me, my flesh, that wants to be comfortable. But then the spirit man in me wants to grow. You know what I mean? And I'm just like. But then I. But literally this is so in real time, it's not even funny. This is literally in real time because I'm processing right now. But it's like, stop seeing the growth in me in metrics of the podcast or speaking engagements or platforms or. But see the growth of like, intern, like, what is God doing in you? And when I take inventory of what he's done in me, there has been growth.
- [26:22]
Jordan
Totally.
- [26:23]
Megan Ashley
And I think it's like, that has to be enough that like. And that has to be the more important thing. Like what he's done on the inside of me, how he has changed my heart in ways and how I have yielded.
- [26:37]
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- [27:31]
Megan Ashley
and surrendered in ways to the Lord and how. Yeah, like the change in my heart, that is the most important thing, not necessarily the metrics of how the podcast is growing or, you know, like I said, how many speaking engagements? Like, we have more speaking engagements in 2024 than we do in 2026.
- [27:54]
Jordan
Yeah, for sure.
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Megan Ashley
You know, I was, when I say booked and busy, 2024. I was out of here every weekend.
- [28:01]
Jordan
But you definitely can't let that determine whether or not you've grown or whether you've regressed or not, because on the
- [28:07]
Nicole
other hand, you're in theology school.
- [28:10]
Megan Ashley
Yeah.
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Nicole
And that's a different type of growth.
- [28:13]
Jay
And there's a level of intentionality in not having so many speaking engagements because you made it. You have a new priority in this
- [28:20]
Megan Ashley
season, which was very intentional, for sure.
- [28:23]
Jordan
Yeah.
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Jay
And I also want to say, like, as you were talking through, like, the insecurity that you're feeling, I can empathize in what you were saying where, like, I don't know what my niche is, but. And in the sense of me empathizing with that just on, like, a videographer level, like me picking up a camera for the first time. It took somebody to explain to me that maybe your niche is not having one. And just, like, I can pick up the camera and go to film a wedding or a music video or a podcast or anything like that. Those different people that you have in your circle that you described that have a niche, you've shared stages with them, you've shared platforms, you share rooms with them, which means you have a place and you have a value even to the people who support you. We may turn to them for their niche, but your niche is a level of practicality to this walk with Christ, that maybe somebody with the niche doesn't let people in. Maybe they wonder what their life is like practically outside of that platform that they're always on. You bring that to the table, which makes this walk a bit more real. And we all know that there's value in being able to actually talk and listen to somebody who accurately empathizes, like you said, who brings language to something that you're actually experiencing, because there's a level of transparency, transparency and vulnerability that people with those niches of platforms of, like, preachers, teachers, you only get to see the fruit on that stage of, like, what their knowledge is. You let people in on what the cultivation of that fruit that's growing in you is really like.
- [29:56]
Megan Ashley
And I think. I think. I think back on, like, all, like, the three of us, me, Jay and Jordan, sitting in my office when we decided that, because I was like, this gotta be a group. Like, the Lord is calling me to do this, y'. All. He is calling us. So I don't know if you got the memo. I don't know if you saw that you were cc'd on the email, but we are doing this. And I mean, but I, Like, I genuinely just asked them to come alongside me. And, like. But I also was like, if you. This is your. You have full autonomy to say no. But, like, this is where I feel like the Lord is leading me. But I felt like when we were having those conversations, a lot of the thing was, I felt like the Lord was just like, bring everyone on the journey. That's the thing. You know what I mean? Like, keep rolling. Like, keep the camera rolling. Just keep it rolling. Like, when it comes to the. In totality, the docu series, like, it was all about. It's like, get on this platform, get on the podcast, talk, but then, like, extend that through the docu series and, like, show them behind the scenes. And I think that's. I kind of. I think that's just my heart and, I guess, direction that I feel like I got from the Lord when it came to this specific platform. But then everything attached to it, it's like, every stage that you go to, just share me. I don't know. And I. As I've been thinking about this, I thought about two specific incidents in scripture that gave me a lot of encouragement, and I pray it gives anybody who is maybe new to the faith, or maybe you're in the faith and you're just like, I. I don't know where I fit in, where, you know, I know I'm called to make disciples, but, like, where do I do that? Or maybe you're at a local church and you're like, where do I serve? Where do I. Do I do kids ministry? Or am I a greeter? Like, me and Jordan are like, let's be door holders. We want to be the door holders. Like, a passion. We want to be the door holders. Or, you know, maybe do I go into media or do I. You Know, am I on the prayer team? You know, all of those things I do. One, recommend that you, number one, obviously find yourself in a local church that's a Bible teaching church like that, I think that's just you, you cannot neglect that part. You need to be in a Bible teaching church, number one. But also ask your church how they test for spiritual gifts. Like there is a test out there that you can take, like where you know what your spiritual gifts are. But I think that that's important to know, like how the Lord has uniquely gifted you and to kind of like lean into that. But there are, there, there are two specific instances in scripture that really encourage me. And the first one is in, and I've talked about this before, the specific story about the, the Samaritan woman. And this as I've been kind of like processing and wrestling with like, oh, where do I fit in? What do I do? And again, you gotta be mindful of how much you center yourself in your thoughts and ruminating over you too much. Because when you do that, Satan quickly comes in and be like, yeah, you idiot, you're a loser. And because that's what he tells me, like, you're a loser. You're a divorced woman. Like, you have no absolute right to be talking to anybody about Jesus and this and that. And you suck. Like, you suck, you suck, you suck. Boo, boo, boo. Like he's throwing tomatoes at my brain all the time, right? And I, and I felt like as I was wrestling with this the last couple of days and like having this on my heart and on my mind, I thought about the Samaritan woman. I think about her a lot. You know, she had multiple marriages and I ain't had multiple now, okay? And it's had one. But still, being a divorced woman and her encounter with Christ was so beautiful, you know what I mean? Like, she goes to the well for water and encounters Christ and leaves her pale. Like she has this great impactful moment and life changing moment with the Messiah that it literally changes her in such a way that she forgets that she's thirsty for water. Because she's been so fulfilled in the knowledge that I've met the Savior, I've met the Messiah, the one that we've been waiting for, right? I think about as I was wrestling with all the things I felt like the Lord reminded me of, of the Samaritan woman because when she leaves, the encounter that she had with Christ, number one, he didn't tell her, now go get that man and bring him back to me. Let me Marry y' all and let me train you two. And then you two start a ministry together and go, do you know, like, she leaves that encounter, right? And he doesn't even tell her what to do. And this is also important because prior to that, anytime, that, first of all, Jesus wasn't revealing himself as the Messiah to everybody, right? Even John or even Peter, the Holy Spirit, like, reveals. He was like, flesh and blood, didn't tell you, like, you received that through the Spirit, like you. That he was the Messiah. So, like, Jesus isn't, like, going around being like, yeah, I'm him, right? And he's healing people and then telling them, don't tell nobody, right? So he's, like, keeping it real low key. But then he has this encounter with her, and she runs off, and he never tells her what to do or what not to do, right? He just is like, he has his encounter, he tells her he's the Messiah, and she runs off. And in Scriptures tells us that she says, come and meet a man that told me all about me, right? Could this be the one that we've been waiting for? Could this be the Messiah, right? And she just goes and tells everyone about her experience with Christ. And that, to me, is so encouraging for. For anybody. Women, divorced women, new to ministry, new to the. Not even ministry, but new to Christianity, right? Like, how encouraging it is where you don't really know what your niche was. This woman didn't go to theology school. She wasn't in seminary. She was a woman who literally came to the well in the middle of, like, the peak of the day because she couldn't go with other women when the sun was down because of how embarrassed she was about the fact that she had been married multiple times and she's living with a man now that ain't even her husband, right? So there's so much shame in her. And she goes at the highest heat of the day and meets the Savior, leaves her pale and goes and tells everybody just about that one encounter. And that one encounter that she shares with everyone propelled the ministry of Christ. It sent him into, like. It sent him into public ministry. And to me, that is just so beautiful, where it's like, I may not have all the right words. I may not have all the dense theology, and I may not have all the correct terminologies and this and that. I may not have all that. But what I do know is, is I have my experience with Christ. I know what he did to me. I know. I know. I had that experience on the porch. I have that and so if the porch is the only thing I preach for the rest of my life, that was real. That was enough to change my life. And God will use it to. To change other people's life because it. It really happened to me. Do you know what I mean? And I just want to encourage everyone who's watching this. It's like what Christ did in your heart really happened. And that is enough to tell everyone about and to. And God will use that to. To render the hearts of people to himself. And that can be enough. That. That is enough. However, the Lord matures that and develops that and grows it and expands it, great. But if you just have that, that's all you have for right now, then that's enough. Yeah, that's enough. That is ministry. That is fruitful, that's productive, that's effective, super encouraging. You know what I mean? That's encouraging to me. You know, don't think that because you see me on this platform, I'm confident in what I'm doing. But what I am confident is, is I know that God saw me on that porch. I know that he saved me. I know that he heard my cry, and I know that he responded to me. And I know that the gospel is true. I know that he's loved me. I know that to be a. I know that to be a true fact. And he's with you and he's with me. And like, if that's all I communicate, that's enough.
- [39:10]
Jay
And you know what's cool about that being enough? Scripture tells us that's enough. In Revelation 12:11, it says so. It's talking about the accuser of the brethren. I'll start at 10, it says, then I heard a loud voice shouting across the heavens, it has come at last. Salvation and power in the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down to earth, the one who accuses them before our God day and night. And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony, you were saved by the blood of the Lamb. You were saved by Christ, the one who atoned for you and saved you and grabbed you right met you right where you were, and you've defeated him by the word of your testimony. Wherever he beats you, anybody who's listening to this, wherever he meets you, that's your testimony. Because you were somewhere where you've been before, baby. But he wasn't with you. And yet he came and found you. He made you that one that left the 99. And he met you right there. And that is your testimony, because he's allowed things to happen prior. So now when you start walking with him, that change, that testimony that you speak about, there's fruit of it. Because you are not the same as you were before.
- [40:20]
Megan Ashley
Yeah.
- [40:20]
Jordan
Yeah. Oops, sorry. You. Keep going.
- [40:24]
Megan Ashley
Keep going.
- [40:26]
Jay
I think that's really kind of. I lost my train of thought.
- [40:28]
Nicole
Go ahead.
- [40:29]
Jordan
Dang. I'm so sorry. I was just adding on. I do feel like that's also, like, one of the. I know for me, one of the biggest, like, kindnesses and blessings and themes in the Bible is just that. But the Lord makes it, like, obvious that he's picking the latter. Like, the ones that don't come, especially when you're considering ministry. And then I thought about First Corinthians, when Paul is like, I'm not coming to you guys with fancy language. I'm coming to you knowing nothing but Jesus Christ and him crucified. So he's like, I know what you guys are thinking. I mean, they thought Christ was going to be this savior, this warrior, this person that. And a lot of people, especially now in ministry, feel like, oh, you have to have the conference. You have to have the degree. You have to have the fancy language. Like, even Dede, like, she spoke about her insecurities with not being, like, the typical pastor or the typical theologian or whatever. And it's like, I just feel like that's, like, one of the biggest themes. It's like, it's not what you think it's gonna look like. And I just think that's a kindness. Cause I feel like everybody does struggle individually with, well, I don't speak in tongues, or I don't do this, or I don't have the gift of singing, or I don't have a servant's heart, or I don't have a. I don't have a desire for marriage. And it's just like, you feel like because you don't have these, or you feel like the Lord didn't bless you with these, that you're not able to be used. And it's like he actually uses you the most.
- [42:02]
Megan Ashley
Yeah. And that. And I think if we think about the whole purpose of it all, it's for Christ to get glory. It's for God to get the glory. And so he uses the least of these, and he uses the ones who may not have all the. Because he's like, because I can. I can be glorified.
- [42:21]
Jordan
Right?
- [42:22]
Megan Ashley
I can be magnified in that. Because it's not in your strength that you're doing anything. It's actually in your weakness that you're doing it. And that's where my. Where my strength gets magnified and where I get glorified is through the weak things. It's not through your perfectionism. You know what I'm saying? It's. It's not through that. It's. It's. It's the weakness that the. That God gets all the glory. And I think sometimes I just need to be. Sometimes I need to do a better job at just reminding myself of that. Like, the Lord loves my weakness. You know what I mean? And I think maybe we think the opposite sometimes where it's like, I gotta be this. I got strong. And that's how I've proven that I've grown in the Lord. And it's like, no, I've actually mastered being weak.
- [43:07]
Nicole
Weak.
- [43:08]
Jay
I boast in it.
- [43:10]
Megan Ashley
Hello.
- [43:10]
Jay
I get in front of y' all and shine the light on it.
- [43:12]
Megan Ashley
Like, I am weak. You know what I mean? And I think that's maybe where we should lean into is like, the weakness.
- [43:23]
Jay
Like, there's a result of that too. Like Scripture says, as a result of me boasting in this weakness, his strength is made perfect.
- [43:30]
Megan Ashley
Yes.
- [43:30]
Jay
He shows up as this way maker where it's like somebody who doesn't know Christ will look and be like, how is she?
- [43:36]
Megan Ashley
Yeah, why her?
- [43:37]
Jordan
Exactly correct.
- [43:39]
Jay
And then you, as a reflect. Reflector of his light, points in the direction that your vision and your mission is to do is to.
- [43:46]
Megan Ashley
And the Lord be picking. Lord be picking people where it is very obvious. It's like you can't even think to take credit for that.
- [43:54]
Jordan
Yeah.
- [43:54]
Megan Ashley
For sure. Now we ain't seen you.
- [43:56]
Jordan
Yeah. We're xing out the middleman. It's not going to be confusion.
- [43:59]
Megan Ashley
Yeah.
- [43:59]
Jordan
I want you to know.
- [44:00]
Megan Ashley
I saw you just last summer. I seen what you was doing. Ain't no.
- [44:04]
Jay
I was with you. We was.
- [44:08]
Megan Ashley
We was doing it. So I know it got to be the Lord because just last year you was pop logging and driving and twerking and smoking and drinking, and now you're doing. You know what I'm saying? So I think it's like, yeah, he looks. He. He's don't think that the Lord is after your strength. He's after your weakness. Because that is where his strength gets magnified and his glory is shown through the weak things. And. And the other. The other, like, random story I was thinking about. And this. Actually, I was thinking about this on. I Don't think it was last Sunday, but it was the last Sunday that Pastor Phil preached the. The last sermon of the Matthew series. So that was Easter, I guess, Resurrection Sunday. And I thought, as he was talking about what happened at the tomb of Christ, right? Like, I was. I thought about Mary and the other women who came to the tomb. And I was just like. I kind of just sat and marveled at that for a minute. Cause I was like, wow, God, there you did it again. You did it again. And I. And I thought back about the Samaritan woman and how she was so pivotal in propelling the movement of the public ministry of Christ. And then I thought about Mary and the other women at the tomb of Jesus. And it was Jesus that told them. He revealed himself to them first. To the women first. He didn't. Because the angel comes and they're like. And the angel's like, why are you here? Like, I know you're looking for Jesus of Nazareth, but you know, he ain't here. Jesus could have left it at just that and then revealed his resurrected body to Peter and him, right? But he didn't. He didn't just leave it at the angels having that encounter with Mary and the other women. But then Jesus reveals him himself first to Mary. And I don't know if the other women were there, but I know Mary was there, right? Mary Magdalene, the one who had all the issues and the demons, right? He reveals himself to her, and then he says, go tell the disciples. And Peter, he tells. He gives the responsibility of the great. What our faith is built on is the resurrection of Christ. Think about that. If we don't have the resurrection of Christ, we don't have a faith.
- [46:50]
Jay
We've got nothing, right? It's all for nothing.
- [46:54]
Megan Ashley
And he entrusts Mary to carry the. The news that he has been resurrected to tell the other disciples. And he tells her, go and tell them again. He didn't have to do that. He literally could have just let the. Because the angels told them what to do. He said, go to. I don't remember whatever.
- [47:18]
Jordan
He tells them to go.
- [47:19]
Megan Ashley
And Jesus has been resurrected and go tell the boys and all the stuff, right? But then Jesus then meets Mary and he tells him, tells, you know, he reveals himself to her and then commissions her to go tell them. And that was so encouraging to me. Just as a woman, like, as a woman in ministry, that is so encouraging because you have all of these voices that try to make women less than. Or, you know, whatever, or they don't have a place in Ministry and they're not to be trusted to teach and preach. But she was entrusted with the. With. But the very thing that our faith is built on, the resurrection of Christ. Right. And so my encouragement in that was like, you know, I don't know if Mary had a desire. I mean, I know it's depicted in the Chosen where she, like, wants to learn Scriptures and she kind of is like this teacher in the Chosen. Like, she's kind of learning how to become a teacher and stuff like that. But I mean, we don't know if that's really been the case. We. I mean, we know that she had knowledge, she was following Christ just as much as the. The apostles were following Christ and she was a disciple. Right. And all the things. But it was just encouraging to me that, like, as a. Just go where. Go where he's sending you. Go where he's sending you. Don't worry about if you should be in this space or should you do. Where is he sending you? And go do that. Wherever he is sending you to do. To. To go. Go and, and tell. And tell them that Christ has been resurrected.
- [49:05]
Jay
And sometimes that's even where he has you before he even sends you somewhere. You can do that from where you're at currently.
- [49:11]
Megan Ashley
Yeah.
- [49:12]
Jay
Because you might think, I need to leave this job to go do something else to take.
- [49:15]
Megan Ashley
But that can be this. That could be where he. He sent you there.
- [49:17]
Jay
He has you right there.
- [49:18]
Megan Ashley
Yeah. When you. It's like when you go home.
- [49:22]
Jordan
Yep, Yep.
- [49:24]
Jay
Yeah.
- [49:24]
Megan Ashley
Like, I want you to be very clear. Your home and whoever lives in it. That is a micro church.
- [49:31]
Nicole
Yeah.
- [49:32]
Megan Ashley
Go there.
- [49:34]
Jordan
Yeah.
- [49:34]
Megan Ashley
It doesn't have to be. Go on this platform or go build a podcast or go build a help ministry or. It doesn't have to be that. It could be. Go home.
- [49:44]
Jordan
Yeah.
- [49:44]
Megan Ashley
It could be. Go to your friend's house. It can be go in the streets and, and. And tell and help your. Go to your neighbor's home.
- [49:51]
Jordan
And even with you saying this now, I'm thinking about, like, where the Lord has specifically called you. And I feel like you're specific for this role and for this time because. And I think that's the common theme, especially when it comes to me, you and Jay just considering, like, the lifestyles and the stuff that we've been around, but just remembering, like, we were once everyday normal people, small towns. Like, whoa, Jay, you grew up in Atlanta, but like Ohio and Indiana, like, we knew what it was like. I mean, I wasn't in Christ, but like, you know what? It's like to be a church in home, like, this stuff is what matters. It's not about pleasing people. So I just feel like you grew up like, yeah, discipling the boys in ways that you wouldn't think would translate over into ministry. And now the Lord has you in a place where you're in ministry, but you can actually talk from experience what it's really like to go out and make disciples. And not many people have that knowledge to even translate, like, oh, yeah, this is what ministry is like. It's like, I've. You've actually been doing this in your everyday walk before the cameras and before the platform, and now you can speak back to it. And it's like, it's the same. And it actually shouldn't leave you just because you've gotten more followers. It should still be rooted in consistency, diligence, surrender.
- [51:11]
Megan Ashley
The Lord. I look, and that's a good point because I think. And encouraging because I look back on my life in Ohio and how I was living in Ohio and just looking at some of the common themes of like. Like when I was leading the dance ministry and those kids were always at my house, you know what I mean? There were kids that came and lived with me, you know what I mean? And with my mom, like, at one point, my mom had four Bible college students living in her house, you know what I'm saying? Where we were just like, all there together and just living a life of discipleship. Like, that has always been a part of my life in some type of way. And so when I look back, I start to see, like, the common themes. It's like, oh, yeah, the Lord has been preparing me to continue. He just. It just may look a little different maybe now because it's more public and like, on camera or whatever, but it's like, yeah, man, the Lord has been kind of preparing me to do this for a really long time. And it. The. The root of it has kind of just been the same. It's just discipleship. It's just like, go be a disciple and go make disciples.
- [52:19]
Jordan
Right?
- [52:19]
Megan Ashley
Yeah, yeah, like the Great Commission. Just go where I send you and make disciples and be where I have you and make disciples. Do you know what I mean? Maybe I'm not sending you to Australia, you know, maybe I'm not sending you to Ghana. I may not be doing that. I may be just sending you down the hall to your kids room. Make disciples. Make disciples. Yeah, I might just be sending you to, say, family member. Go make disciples. I might just be sending you to a Campus, go make disciples. You know what I mean? Just like, just go where I'm sending you and be where I have you and be faithful. And I think that's the biggest thing. It's like, just be faithful wherever he has you.
- [53:13]
Jordan
And I think the biggest. A big thing in ministry, especially ministry in today, like, when you have platforms, when you have followings, when you have fans or supporters and big churches and interviews and all this stuff, I feel like that what you just said has always been like, the point, the foundation, the main reason to go and make disciples, remain faithful. But it do seem like people lose sight of that. And I think the Lord's grace in hand on you is that you haven't forgotten the plan back then when you first had the boys, is the plan now, and what the plan will be even when they leave the house, as far as making disciples, what that's like to be like Christ, whether it's to your boys or to strangers or to whoever. And I think money, fame, and all that stuff clouds people's judgment and it get lost down the line. But I do, like, you're the only. Well, not the only one. There's a few people out there, but a lot of people are getting lost. And like, you remember what it was like when you were a believer and before there were followers and stuff like that, and what were the basics that you were doing? You were really doing this to please the Lord, and you just haven't lost sight of that. And I think that's what's also inspiring, encouraging, and like, oh, yeah, she's really out here discipling people, because people, one can look back on your life before you really, like, had this platform.
- [54:32]
Megan Ashley
Lord, it's out there, isn't it? Oh, there's evidence. They saw it.
- [54:36]
Jordan
There is. It is like, evidence to, like, be like, oh, okay, she wasn't. Jay got all the footage, but all of it. All them hard drives.
- [54:44]
Megan Ashley
Jay got all them hard drives.
- [54:48]
Jordan
But yeah, the main thing just will always be the main thing. But it's up to you to keep the main thing. The main thing.
- [54:53]
Megan Ashley
That's the thing. And I think that in the culture and the climate that we live in, especially in Christian content, it feels like there is this focus more so on being something instead of exalting Christ. I don't know. And maybe. And maybe I could be wrong. And I'm definitely not saying that's everybody, because I think there's a ton of genuine, faithful content creators, podcasts.
- [55:21]
Jordan
But there is a reason why people, new believers and then believers that have all, like, have all of a sudden felt like they weren't doing enough. And, like, it is a common thing that people feel like in order to be a legit Christian, you have to make your. Like, you have to go and talk and you have to get in front of a camera. Like, so I feel like even the fact that that's a thing is. It's a reflection from something. There's a reason why people feel like in order to be a true Christian or to really make disciples, I have to sit in front of a camera or I have to put on a conference, and it's like, oh, it gotta be. Because elders or older leaders or more mature saints have made it. Oh, this is what it's like to be a true Christian and haven't teached or preached more about how being a true Christian can be. Going down to your kid's bedroom. That's not common language except in this environment. To me, I don't hear that on other platforms and stuff like that. Most people are inviting you to their conferences to give language to that part because they just don't have it. And it's like that. It seems like common knowledge to me, but if it was common, then everybody would know about it.
- [56:28]
Megan Ashley
Yeah, I just. I guess I always want to be a person that's pointing to the fact that the Lord is calling you to be faithful wherever he has you. And to know that that's just as important. Don't think that a platform defines your value and the importance of how God uses you to do his work in the earth. Do you know what I mean? Like, we are invited into partnership with the Lord to do his work in the earth. We get to be a part of God's redemptive work in the earth. That is beautiful. And it doesn't matter where specifically you are placed in. Do you know what I mean? Like, it. It does not matter whether the hand can't say to the foot, I have no need of you. Right. So that means everything, every part of the body is important, whether you're the face or you're. I was gonna say something really inappropriate, but
- [57:30]
Nicole
my imagination.
- [57:31]
Jordan
I'm like, I know exactly.
- [57:32]
Megan Ashley
Jay. Know exactly what I was.
- [57:34]
Jay
That's ridiculous.
- [57:36]
Jordan
Yeah, I have no.
- [57:37]
Megan Ashley
I was gonna say you could be the face or the butt cheek, but
- [57:42]
Jordan
I'm like, there's literally.
- [57:44]
Jay
It doesn't matter which one you are
- [57:48]
Jordan
the face of the butt.
- [57:48]
Megan Ashley
You can be the back of the kneecaps. It doesn't matter.
- [57:53]
Jordan
And because if you look it up, the smallest Thing, the stuff that we think don't matter.
- [57:57]
Megan Ashley
Actually, Jordan knows the body very well.
- [57:59]
Nicole
So she knows right now the tendon in my foot is pulled, and I feel it every second of the day.
- [58:06]
Megan Ashley
And she was like, I feel it everywhere.
- [58:07]
Nicole
I didn't even know it existed. And now every time I take a step, I'm like, okay, you know, so
- [58:15]
Megan Ashley
every part of the body matters. And so I don't want you to think that because you're not what the world deems as a main part or an important part, that you're not important. You are important.
- [58:25]
Jordan
You.
- [58:26]
Megan Ashley
Discipling your children in your home is probably one of the biggest and most important works you can do that is bigger to me than doing a conference, preaching on any stage, starting any podcast, writing any book. The fact that your children know the Lord is the greatest work that you could ever do. The fact that anybody, people, when they encounter you, do they know more about Christ? That's the important work.
- [58:51]
Nicole
And that's like. And again, I'm like, please, guys, just bear with me. But that's Genesis, right? When Adam, When Adam fell asleep and the Lord formed Eve, that was like the first command was like, be fruitful and multiply. Go make disciples. Right. Like in all the world as a kind.
- [59:14]
Megan Ashley
I mean, be fruitful and multiply for sure.
- [59:16]
Nicole
Husband and wife, Right. Like, he literally told us that we have to disciple our children.
- [59:23]
Megan Ashley
I mean, but that's the greatest commission. It's. It's to. That's the great commission is to make disciples. Like when Jesus left before he ascended, that's what he told us to do. And so. But I don't want you to think that disciple making has to be on a mat, like on this magnified. There's many examples saying it can be in the small. What you might seem as a smallest way of your four year old.
- [59:47]
Jordan
Yeah.
- [59:47]
Nicole
Right.
- [59:48]
Megan Ashley
Or your neighbor or your cousin or your whoever, your co workers.
- [59:54]
Jordan
Yeah.
- [59:55]
Megan Ashley
All I'm asking is, is that when people encounter you, are they encountering Christ? Do they know more about the love of God? When they leave your pres. Presence, do they know more about the God who has created all things?
- [60:08]
Nicole
Yeah.
- [60:09]
Megan Ashley
Do they know more about your surrender, your surrender to the faith and to the Lord? Like, do they know more about Christ? That is what's making a disciple?
- [60:20]
Jordan
Yeah.
- [60:21]
Megan Ashley
You know what I mean? It's not like, it's not just like, all right, I want you to flip over to Isaiah and we're going to break this thing down. That is discipleship. But how you're Loving people, how you're caring for people.
- [60:37]
Jordan
That's discipline.
- [60:38]
Megan Ashley
That's discipleship. Yes. That's your patience.
- [60:41]
Nicole
That also just reminds me, right. From my perspective, witnessing being your assistant. Right. I was actually just kind of thinking about this earlier, because sometimes I reflect, and it's like. Like, I forget that I prayed to be in ministry, and when we started to work together, I forgot that I prayed until I was like, oh, yeah, I did actually pray for this. But the kindness of the Lord to allow me to be in this environment is very significant, because then I'm like, here we go with the tears.
- [61:20]
Megan Ashley
Nicole gonna cry. If there's anything Nicole's gonna do, we will be on a regular Wednesday call.
- [61:26]
Jordan
And Nicole, we're doing icebreakers.
- [61:28]
Megan Ashley
We are doing icebreakers.
- [61:30]
Nicole
Icebreakers. That I came up with by June,
- [61:33]
Megan Ashley
and Nicole is in tears.
- [61:35]
Jay
Tear ducts have just opened.
- [61:38]
Nicole
But it is. I do believe that it is something that the Lord gave me some extra sensitivity, but the kindness of him to allow me to be in this environment. From my first, like, experience in ministry, it's like, I don't even have the words because on a daily basis, I can easily see the difference in the way that you do things. Just from my experience and the interactions that I have on the other admin side.
- [62:10]
Megan Ashley
Oh, yeah.
- [62:11]
Jordan
Oh, yeah.
- [62:11]
Nicole
But yes, with. With other people.
- [62:13]
Megan Ashley
Wow.
- [62:13]
Nicole
Right? Because you remove all of the fluff and the things, you know, like, you don't have a writer. The expectation.
- [62:25]
Megan Ashley
You hate that. Nicole hate that. She's like, we need.
- [62:28]
Jordan
She said, yeah, you don't have a writer. Don't know why, but that's clear.
- [62:33]
Nicole
But. But it really shows me what the expectation is. Like on everyone else's end, they have the experiences where people, you know, come in and they have their demand, you know, like, you're so humble. I'm like, lord, please help me. And sweet Nicole, because that alone is ministry in itself. When you show up to do a speaking engagement and, like, you're a human being, it's like, it ministers to people. People don't expect you to be so down to earth and just normal. You know what I mean? You don't have, like, security and, like.
- [63:18]
Megan Ashley
Nope. Just Jay and Jordan. Yeah. Let's go, guys.
- [63:21]
Nicole
You know? You know, sometimes they may want to give you an arm and bearer, and
- [63:25]
Jordan
you're like, I'm good.
- [63:26]
Nicole
Right? You get your own rental cars. You handle your own things. You're not putting people out or you don't want to. You know, you're just keeping things very simple. And the Main thing. The main thing. And for me to be able to, like, witness that is so, like, it just makes a really big impact and it helps me truly understand, like, you know, like, the point of it all.
- [63:53]
Megan Ashley
Yeah.
- [63:54]
Nicole
So, yeah, that's.
- [63:55]
Megan Ashley
Thanks, Nicole. Yeah, that was sweet. Tear.
- [63:59]
Nicole
It's true.
- [64:01]
Jordan
Nicole was lazy. It's true.
- [64:03]
Megan Ashley
Yeah, I. I appreciate that. And I pray that the Lord continues to, I don't know, just keep me blinded. You know what I'm saying? Like, I just keep. Keep me from seeing what you don't want me to see.
- [64:17]
Nicole
Yeah.
- [64:18]
Megan Ashley
You know what I mean? And remaining. Because I do have a lot of pride that I have to deal with. So it's not like I'm humble all the time. There's a lot of internal. There's a lot. I'm just not prideful in that way.
- [64:29]
Jordan
Yeah, it's just.
- [64:29]
Megan Ashley
But I have pride. You know what I mean? I do struggle with pride in other ways. It's just not in that way. But. But I do have a strong, really strong conviction that he's the main thing. And to never, never gear off or veer off from that. I never wanna veer off from that.
- [64:54]
Jay
And that brings up what I was saying earlier, is that you do very well with casting that vision in the midst of all the different places that you show up and the ways that you show up, up where it could be perceived as something else. Like you said, if maybe I dress nice or, you know, you do something that, you know, anything like that you cast the vision that he is the main thing. I am a reflector of what he has done in my life. When you see me, I want you to see him. He is the light. You know what I mean? And when you constantly cast that vision that I think is. It makes it so wherever you show up, it's like when he says, like, you're the light of the world. Like, no one puts the light up under a basket, but instead a lamp is placed where it gives light on a stand where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father. That is so I get glory. So, like, as much as you may want to be behind the scenes after I show up and for you to show up to you and you experience me on your porch, what sense does it make for you to be behind the scenes? That's not what you do with the lamp. You put it on a stand so everybody can see, so that they will praise your heavenly Father.
- [66:10]
Megan Ashley
Message for sure.
- [66:13]
Jay
So I just wanted to just like, give you, let you know that in the midst of you casting that vision, like, making it clear on whatever season that you're in, that when you see me, you see him, you're reflecting his light as that lamp. And I think it's natural when somebody experiences the love of Christ, you want to go tell everybody.
- [66:31]
Megan Ashley
You want.
- [66:31]
Jay
You want to tell as many people as possible. So it's like, I see why you would want to get in front of a camera. And it's like with social media, I can reach a bunch of people. But it's letting him decide the reach
- [66:44]
Megan Ashley
of your life, the means of it.
- [66:46]
Jay
Yeah, because the impact is the same whether it's a flashlight or a big old spotlight, you know what I'm saying? As far as how many people see it, I'm giving you, I give you the reach of that to steward that and not to dim it. Because we can dim it in a lot of different ways by maybe not speaking up when he tells you to. Letting sin dim your light. You know what I mean? All those different ways we can dim it, but he asks us to let that light, which is him, glow by our deeds and just how we show up, how we love people.
- [67:15]
Megan Ashley
I think two things that I would wanna say to maybe even just even wrap up this conversation, but one is I also know or feel and deeply have in my heart the responsibility of what it means when the Lord gives you something to steward. I don't take that lightly. And I also know that the more. The bigger the reach, the bigger the accountability. Right? So it's like the fact that I am on this platform and thousands of people watch and whatever and how far it goes. I have to answer for every life that I've impacted and every. I have to answer for every word. You know what I'm saying? Like, Scripture tells us that we will have to take an account for every single word. When you're a podcaster, that's a lot
- [68:08]
Jordan
of freaking words that are out there
- [68:10]
Megan Ashley
that you got to take an account for. And so I don't think we should just be jumping to get on a platform and to be talking all the time when you actually have to take an account for that. So I think, think knowing that that conviction lives really loud in me. It really does, which helps me keep the main thing. The main thing that helps me not talk about myself that much and talk about what he's done in my life and talk about how he's changed me and him and him being Christ and in the gospel, like, it helps me look more at the cross than it is me, number one. Number two, a pivotal, really important thing to this. Outside of Christ, outside of the Holy Spirit, outside of the gospel, outside. Next in line to that is, y', all, like, the people that you surround yourself with in partnership in ministry matters. I don't got people around me that's like, let's go and do, do, do, do. Let's make another. Like, you know what I mean? Nobody around me is like, like, you need to do more now. Y' all did say, I need to do more now. I ain't going to hold y like,
- [69:20]
Jordan
well, you don't have to. I don't think. I know. I said, you need to do more.
- [69:25]
Megan Ashley
Jordan said, you're talking to Jay and Nicole. You ain't talking to me, but I'm talking about in the sense of, like, helping you remain humble and keeping the main thing. The main thing. I don't have anybody around me that's pushing me to veer off of the main thing. Everyone is like, no, we keep the main thing. The main thing. We don't get on calls without praying and asking the Holy Spirit to lead us. We don't make decisions without act.
- [69:48]
Jordan
We're swapping out teams.
- [69:50]
Megan Ashley
Swapping out teams if they not align with Christ.
- [69:54]
Jordan
Yeah.
- [69:54]
Megan Ashley
I'll pay more if it means you're aligned with Christ who are gospel centered.
- [69:59]
Jordan
Right.
- [69:59]
Megan Ashley
I don't care.
- [70:00]
Nicole
Right.
- [70:01]
Megan Ashley
I won't make a. I won't make
- [70:03]
Nicole
a profit because ultimately you're paying less.
- [70:06]
Megan Ashley
Actually, I am.
- [70:08]
Jordan
No, no, she's saying, like, I'm. I'm saying, like, not monetarily. Yeah. You're physically.
- [70:15]
Jay
Did you. I am.
- [70:18]
Jordan
She said, wait.
- [70:19]
Megan Ashley
I said, it's news to me. But. Yeah, but just like, those things are. Those things are important. And like, even. Just like with Nicole, like, she's been my assistant for two years now. Has it been two, three. Two and a half?
- [70:32]
Nicole
Two. Like, officially. Yeah.
- [70:33]
Megan Ashley
And Nicole would. I would get, like, a speaking engagement request. And Nicole was like. She would be like, you know, I was praying about it, or this didn't feel right. Or I was praying, like, to have people who pray.
- [70:51]
Jordan
Yeah.
- [70:51]
Megan Ashley
Do you know what I'm saying? Like, to have the fact that Jade, Jordan and I can just sit at my dining room table, no camera, no nothing, and be like, let's just, like, confess. What are we going through? Let's talk through this scripture. Like, we will sit at this table and. And, you know, we haven't done it as consistently as I Probably have wanted us to, and that's just life and me. But the times that we have done it, it's been so fruitful because that's how we started. You know, we started with sitting in the office or, you know, just talking through things and talking through scripture and what God was doing in our hearts and all this stuff. But to still have that, to be able to still have that, where it's like, we can just come to the table and just be honest and transparent and talk through what God is doing in our hearts and how can we love each other better and how can we, like, support each other more and how can we, like, hold each other accountable? Like, all of. I said all that to say all of that matters. All of it is working for the glory of the Lord. Like, this doesn't get. This doesn't get done if all of that isn't getting done. We can't sit here and have these type of conversations on this podcast. If it wasn't happening outside of this podcast. Right. And if everybody individually wasn't pursuing the Lord, they wouldn't be. Y' all are listening to them, and I have invited them to come onto this platform this season because I trust that they have a relationship with the Lord. The stuff that you're hearing them talk through, that's because they have an intimate relationship with the Lord. They're able to add value and add wisdom to these conversations because they individually have relationships with the Lord. That's what makes this work. And so it ain't just me. It's all of us surrendering our lives to the Lord and collectively keeping the main thing. The main thing. It's not just me keeping the main thing, the main thing. It's all of us.
- [72:43]
Jordan
Yeah, we have just as much of a call and a duty as you do. Being behind the camera and being off the mic, it's like, just because Megan's the one, you see, don't mean that the Lord isn't holding us to a standard as well. It's just.
- [72:57]
Megan Ashley
And everybody, I believe, carries that. I believe every single one of you carry that.
- [73:02]
Jay
Without a doubt.
- [73:03]
Megan Ashley
You know what you're. Your role is, and you know that our roles don't have. There's not a hierarchy.
- [73:10]
Jordan
Yeah.
- [73:11]
Megan Ashley
You know what I mean? Like, your role is just as important as my role, and me being accountable is just as important as you being accountable. I might have a leadership position where there's, like, different accountabilities in that way, but our roles are all.
- [73:23]
Jordan
Are.
- [73:25]
Megan Ashley
They are just as important. I can't do this without them.
- [73:29]
Jay
We're a body. Truly.
- [73:30]
Megan Ashley
It's a body. Yeah. Like, literally. So anyway, I could talk about that stuff forever.
- [73:35]
Jordan
Yeah. Cause I was even about to say, even in being the body. Cause this is going back to what you were saying as far as, like, you feeling like, oh, like the Christine Keynes and the Priscilla Schreiers. And it's like, you know, why I'm not there yet? I feel like where you feel that you are and where other ministers and speakers and stuff at is no different than, like, our team, in a sense. I don't feel like their messages can be pushed or really received. If the goal is to push people to Christ, I don't think their messages are able to be received until. Or unless, like, it's being watered down with you first in a sense of, like, you have these heavy hitters that are going strong and in each book and saying, okay, well, here's the backstory and stuff like that. But it's like, that's a big meal to swallow.
- [74:18]
Megan Ashley
You're like, how can I live this every day? What do I do on Tuesday?
- [74:21]
Jordan
Yeah. And it's like. Like you're saying, this isn't possible unless the stuff behind the scenes is possible, which is. Yeah. Sitting here, having a conversation, which is. Yeah. Cleaning up with the boys and stuff like that. The grand things that people think is grand can't happen unless the smaller minute things is happening behind the scenes. And it's no different than what you feel like your role might be in ministry versus somebody else's. It's just. I feel like it's levels to it, and not everybody understands one level. It's multiple.
- [74:49]
Megan Ashley
That's good.
- [74:50]
Jordan
Yeah. Nice.
- [74:52]
Megan Ashley
Well, I don't really know if this was for y', all, but it was definitely for me. I was minister, too. Shoot. I don't know if this blessed y', all, but it certainly blessed me. This was helpful.
- [75:04]
Jordan
It was good. You wasn't even gonna do.
- [75:06]
Megan Ashley
I wasn't even gonna talk about that. I had a whole nother thing to talk about it on the next one.
- [75:10]
Jordan
Yeah. It wasn't supposed to do another episode. It was going to be that one episode.
- [75:13]
Megan Ashley
I know. The Lord is so kind because we prayed.
- [75:16]
Nicole
Look, I'm like, he is.
- [75:18]
Megan Ashley
He's so kind.
- [75:19]
Nicole
Yeah.
- [75:22]
Megan Ashley
Anyway, I hope. I hope there was something in this conversation that blessed you guys, because there might be a lot of you out there that are just feeling insecure and not knowing where your place is. But, like, where the Lord has you is where he wants you and where he'll use you you like he will use you and so just entrust yourself to him and keep the main thing. The main thing, like the main thing is Christ and him glorified and so like keep the main thing the main thing. And we'll see you next week. Hey y', all, thank you so much for being here with me on In Totality this week. If this episode bless you or challenge you or even stirred up something in your spirit, go ahead and like this video. Drop a comment below and share with us what part of the conversation really stuck out the most. Share with someone who you think might benefit from watching this. It really helps the show. And listen, if you want more of In Totality on a weekly basis, then join my Patreon community. You get early access to watch In Totality episodes, exclusive behind the scenes content and In Totality docu series which is like my blog, first access to to merch drops events, Bible studies where we're walking through the word together, book clubs, and so much more. We're growing in our faith together and I would love for you to be a part of it. If you haven't already, subscribe and tap the notification bell so that you never miss an episode Thursdays. You'll find me right here on YouTube in the live chat when the episode premieres. I hope this message encouraged you today. I pray that you find a good, good godly community and a Bible based church where you're rooted in love and growing. Keep stepping into God's truth In Totality. I'll see you next time.
- [77:09]
Jordan
What's up you guys?
- [77:10]
Titi Sham and Titi Nia
It's your favorite aunties from your favorite aunties podcast. I'm Titi Sham. And I'm Titi Nia. And we're exactly that, you know, your favorite aunties. We're young enough to give you a fresh perspective and old enough to have some wisdom.
- [77:24]
Jordan
You know, a good key to keep you laughing.
- [77:26]
Titi Sham and Titi Nia
Absolutely. You know, we're talking about all things dating, finances, relationships, navigating faith, even some things you may be going through with your friends. And you know, it's not too many people talking about that. So make sure that you tune in because we're going to give you that relatable content in a way that you're going to love and have some good fun. So make sure to subscribe to to your favorite Aunties podcast on all platforms. That's Apple, Spotify, even YouTube. We can't wait for you to join our family. New episodes drop every Wednesday.
- [77:56]
Jordan
Bye.
- [77:58]
Megan Ashley
Hi, I am Mandy Moore.
- [77:59]
Jay
Sterling K. Brown.
- [78:01]
Megan Ashley
And I'm Chris Sullivan, and we host
- [78:02]
Jay
the podcast that was Us now on Headgum.
- [78:05]
Megan Ashley
Each episode, we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show. This is Us.
- [78:09]
Jay
That's right.
- [78:10]
Megan Ashley
We're gonna go episode by episode.
- [78:12]
Nanit Ad
We're also gonna pepper in episodes with
- [78:14]
Megan Ashley
different guest stars and writers, casting directors. Are we gonna cry?
- [78:20]
Jay
Yes, a little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot? A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to. That was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.