EP 123: Put Your Armor On: How to Keep Fighting When You’re Weary

Summary

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"Put Your Armor On: How to Keep Fighting When You’re Weary"

In Totality with Megan Ashley, Ep 123
Released July 28, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, host Megan Ashley and her co-hosts (Jourdan J., Nicole, and Ebenezer) deliver a vulnerable, scripture-based discussion about spiritual endurance and the vital importance of "putting on the full armor of God." Together, they explore the inevitability of weariness in the Christian walk, the dangers of spiritual complacency, how unrepented sin creates distance from God, and practical ways to remain committed when faith feels weary. Utilizing the biblical story of King David, personal testimonies, and candid confession, this roundtable encourages listeners to take spiritual vigilance seriously and rely on God's grace and guidance through every battle.

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Key Discussion Points

1. The Importance of Endurance and Spiritual Vigilance

• The group reflects on years of collective struggle and the necessity of continued, active engagement in spiritual life.
  • "As much as we've been through...the Lord has kept us and sustained us...But we also had to fight." (Megan Ashley, 08:36)
• Megan references their Patreon "Village" community’s study of Beloved on endurance, connecting spiritual growth to ongoing participation in "the fight" of faith (09:01).
• There’s a real danger in Christian complacency: becoming tired, setting down spiritual armor, and ceasing to resist sin (09:23).

2. The Story of David: The Cost of Spiritual Complacency

• Centerpiece example: King David’s failure in 2 Samuel 11.
  • David remains in Jerusalem during a time when kings go to battle, leading to sin with Bathsheba and compounded deceit and murder (11:41).
• The consequences of disengagement:
  • "Had he been steadfast...he would not be wandering around on this rooftop to see Bathsheba...It's so clear that when we're not engaging in the battle, we fall into sin." (Meagan Ashley, 15:07)
• The slow hardening of the heart when we defer repentance is highlighted (19:28).
  • "When we are not quick to confess, our conscience gets seared...the longer you wait, the harder your heart becomes." (Meagan Ashley, 19:28)
• David's lengthy period before repenting (almost a year), and the mental/spiritual consequences are examined (16:27).

Notable Quotes

• "Sin separates us from God. That's what sin does. And so if you're sitting in sin that you have not repented of, naturally, you're going to feel like you're not experiencing the redemption of the Lord." (Meagan Ashley, 17:29)

3. Why Quick Repentance and Daily Armor Matter

• The panel discusses how quick confession protects intimacy with God and counters the enemy’s attacks.
  • "This is why quick confession and quick repentance is so needed. Because the longer you wait, the harder your heart becomes, the more your conscience becomes seared." (Meagan Ashley, 27:18)
• The story of Nathan confronting David is used to highlight the mercy and discipline of God and the value of accountability (28:27).
• Life lessons tied to practical obedience, even (and especially) when it's difficult or mundane (48:09).

4. Equipped by God—But We Must "Put It On"

• Megan brings up Paul’s metaphor in Ephesians 6: the armor is provided, but must be intentionally donned.
  • "It ain't like He's like, yeah, go make the armor. Here's the armor. Put it on. All I'm asking you to do is put it on." (Meagan Ashley, 46:35)
• The group breaks down the armor—belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, helmet of salvation, sandals of peace, and shield of faith—as both defense and offense, protecting from the enemy’s attacks (33:31, 51:20).
• Importance of consistency:
  • "Your Christian walk isn't a 9 to 5." (Meagan Ashley, 31:01)
  • "Armor up...This is not a cakewalk. It's a literal war." (Meagan Ashley, 44:10)

5. Practical Obstacles: Weariness, Fatigue, and Honesty with God

• Honest admission that spiritual fatigue and "faithful fatigue" are regular challenges; sometimes Christians simply don't want to fight or put on armor (62:04).
  • "Even the humility and the discipline to put on the armor requires his help. Lord, I don't even want to put on this armor—that's you being transparent and honest and vulnerable." (Meagan Ashley, 62:04)
  • Nicole encourages listeners: "One place that [God will] always accept is you at His feet." (Nicole, 62:04)
• The key is confession and reliance on God’s strength for even the willingness to fight and obey (62:55).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Slippery Slope of Sin:

  • "You went from one sin to another sin to another sin to another sin...your heart is becoming hard. This episode is sponsored by Better Help..." (Meagan Ashley, 21:05)
  • [Note: Timestamp includes ad transition; core point before 23:20]

• On Accountability:

  • "I had a Nathan moment where somebody who loves me was like a Nathan and was like, yo, you gotta fix that. That's not cool. Fix that." (Meagan Ashley, 33:24)

• On Checking Spiritual Immaturity:

  • "Even me pouting at the fact that I have to be devoted is showing my immaturity. The fact that you don't want to do it should actually show you how you're not ready for what you want to do." (Nicole, 41:46)

• On God’s Provision vs. Our Part:

  • “It’s not like he even burdens us to weld our own armor. He equips us. You just gotta put it on.” (Ebenezer, 46:06)

• On the Role of Faith:

  • “That’s the one part of the armor that extinguishes all his arrows. Your faith.” (Ebenezer, 51:14)

• Stay Ready Principle:

  • “Stay ready so you don’t have to get ready.” (Jourdan J., 45:21)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic / Quote | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 08:36 | The necessity of fighting in the spiritual walk | | 09:23 | The danger of growing weary and disengaging | | 11:41 | The story of David’s fall (2 Samuel 11) – reading and application | | 15:07 | The inevitable fall into sin when absent from spiritual battle | | 19:28 | Effects of delayed repentance on the heart | | 27:18 | Importance of quick confession and repentance | | 31:01 | Endurance is not a 9-to-5 sprint; it is a continual battle | | 33:24 | Megan’s “Nathan moment”—personal story of being confronted about sin | | 41:46 | Nicole on Christian immaturity; analogy of spiritual development | | 46:06 | God equips, we must put on the armor | | 51:14 | Faith as the shield from the enemy’s flames | | 62:04 | Humility to admit “I don’t want to put my armor on”—praying for willingness |

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Additional Insights and Illustrations

• Practical Analogies:
  • Armor compared to knee pads—‘putting it on just in case,’ even when you don’t expect to fall (48:04).
  • Karate Kid and ‘pick up your jacket’—obedience in the mundane as training for greater challenges (48:09).
• Self-examination:
  • Regularly ask God to search your heart, as David prayed in Psalm 51 (57:41).
• Consistency over Perfection:
  • Spiritual consistency is prioritized over legalistic perfection; scrapes and bruises may come, but armor makes us more protected (65:48).

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Episode Conclusion – Encouragement

Megan closes by addressing those who feel weary or inconsistent in their faith:

• Encourage: "If you have been weary, I pray that you're just encouraged to, like, keep fighting...Just keep fighting. Look to the Lord, who is the founder and the perfecter of your faith...Keep your eyes fixed. Hold tight to the promises of the Lord..." (Meagan Ashley, 65:48)

She reiterates that God's mercies are refreshed every morning, repentance is always possible, and even "faithful fatigue" doesn't disqualify you from turning to Him for new strength.

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Practical Takeaways

• Engage daily: Spiritual growth requires a daily, proactive approach—put on the full armor of God every day (not just occasionally or when trials arise).
• Quick confession: Don’t let sin or mistakes fester—confess, repent quickly, and re-engage in your relationship with God.
• Rely on grace: Even the willingness to engage and fight for your faith requires God’s help; ask for it honestly.
• Stay ready: Discipline in small, daily things is preparation for spiritual and life battles you may not anticipate.

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|--------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 15:07 | Meagan Ashley| "Had he been steadfast...he would not be wandering...It's so clear that when we're not engaging in the battle, we fall into sin." | 17:29 | Meagan Ashley| "Sin separates us from God. That's what sin does. And so if you're sitting in sin that you have not repented of, naturally, you're going to feel like you're not experiencing the redemption of the Lord." | 27:18 | Meagan Ashley| "This is why quick confession and quick repentance is so needed. Because the longer you wait, the harder your heart becomes, the more your conscience becomes seared." | 41:46 | Nicole | "Even me pouting at the fact that I have to be devoted is showing my immaturity. The fact that you don't want to do it should actually show you how you're not ready for what you want to do." | 46:06 | Ebenezer | "It’s not like he even burdens us to weld our own armor. He equips us. You just gotta put it on." | 51:14 | Ebenezer | "That’s the one part of the armor that extinguishes all his arrows. Your faith." | 62:04 | Meagan Ashley| "Even the humility and the discipline to put on the armor requires his help. Lord, I don’t even want to put on this armor—that’s you being transparent and honest and vulnerable."

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For Listeners

If you’re struggling with spiritual weariness or feeling distant from God, this episode will encourage, challenge, and equip you with both scriptural truth and honest, relatable testimony. Whether you’re new in faith or seasoned, Megan’s message is clear: put your armor on and keep fighting—even when you’re weary.

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Transcript

[Meagan Ashley]

What's up, family? Before we jump into today's episode, I want to share something close to my heart. Our In Totality Patreon community, the Village. If you ever listen to the podcast and you thought, wow, I really wish there was more. This is exactly why I created this space. You'll receive early access to every episode, so while others are hearing it for the first time, you'll already be watching it and soaking it in. But it's not just that. You'll also get access to the In Totality docuseries, which is like my vlog, which shows what I do when I'm not on the podc. And that's not it. You'll also be the first to know about merch drops, events and opportunities to connect in real life. One of my favorite parts is our Bible study and book clubs where we're walking through scripture together and encouraging one another in the faith. On Patreon, we are building a community that truly desires a relationship with the Lord, pursues truth, and supports one another. And I would love for you to be a part of that. So if you want more, come join the village on Patreon. The link is in the description, and I can't wait to see you. There are so many of us who get so weary in our faithfulness that we just decide to stop fighting. Don't get so prideful in the fact that you've come out of battles that you stop fighting. Sin separates us from God. That's what sin does. And so if you're sitting in sin that you have not repented of, naturally you're going to feel like you're not

[Jourdan J]

experiencing the redemption of the Lord.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Ebenezer]

Yeah. Intimacy is, like, not possible at that point.

[Meagan Ashley]

The longer you wait, the harder. The harder your heart becomes.

[Ebenezer]

And up until Nathaniel brought it to him, had he technically gotten away with it?

[Nicole]

Nathaniel is his real name.

[Meagan Ashley]

That's like when your parents says, I'm disappointed.

[Nicole]

Exactly.

[Meagan Ashley]

I'd rather you beat me. When Paul in Ephesians 6 is talking about, put on the full armor of God, we have to take that serious. If the enemy catch you slipping, he's going to devour you. We would be so less wounded as Christians if we would just put our armor on even before I go to bed. You think, I'm not armoring myself to go to sleep?

[Ebenezer]

All those arrows fall to the ground when you have faith.

[Meagan Ashley]

What's up, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of In Totality. I'm your host, Meagan Ashley, and I have my favorite people with me, Jourdan J. And Nicole, they're so thrilled. I think they. I think they. There are moments where they enjoy this, but I think it's like, oh, you actually expect me to see. I think it's like every episode, everybody's like.

[Nicole]

When they start hooking up, these mics is like, oh, we not here for just moral support at all. Not that, you know, bounce ideas off.

[Meagan Ashley]

It's like, co hosts. How do you guys feel? How do you actually. I don't think I've asked that, like, how do y' all feel sitting on mics?

[Ebenezer]

I enjoy it. At this stage in the walk. If I had done this maybe a couple years ago, every episode.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah.

[Ebenezer]

I'd probably be a little bit more shaky than I am now, but. No. Yeah, no, for sure. Teeth chittering. Cut all of my stutters out.

[Nicole]

No, I hate that

[Meagan Ashley]

sweat. No, you did the first episode that we three did together. You guys both did really good.

[Ebenezer]

Yeah, I enjoyed it.

[Meagan Ashley]

That was the first time.

[Ebenezer]

Yeah. At this stage, I definitely enjoy it.

[Nicole]

No, you talking about the podcast. Season one.

[Meagan Ashley]

I'm talking about season one, the first. When we three sat down, me, you,

[Ebenezer]

and Jordan, I was fidgety.

[Meagan Ashley]

Listen. What?

[Jourdan J]

You're listening.

[Ebenezer]

I did a lot of fidgeting, but I didn't.

[Meagan Ashley]

You did good, though. I mean, I'm saying you weren't like, a mess.

[Ebenezer]

Thanks.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah.

[Ebenezer]

Yeah, I enjoyed it.

[Meagan Ashley]

How do you feel, Jordan?

[Jourdan J]

Good.

[Nicole]

It's like, it's normal in a sense. It feels like a conversation that we always have. What do be interesting is when people be like, oh, Jordan, I heard. Or I didn't know. It's like. Cause I be forgiving.

[Meagan Ashley]

There's a camera.

[Nicole]

Yeah. And it's switching to us. Like, you not only just hear my voice. You saw me. Some people would be like, oh, yeah, Jordan, I seen you on a podcast. I'm like, I've only done it twice. And, like, it's become a thing, as if I'm on the podcast. And it's like, that's not.

[Meagan Ashley]

That is.

[Nicole]

I don't. Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

I mean, it is. I mean, that's technically.

[Nicole]

Technically, yes. I just don't feel like a guess.

[Meagan Ashley]

But you're not a guest with a co host. You guys are co hosts at this point, on solo episodes, at least. And if we had enough cameras and mics, I'd strap y' all up from the guest, too.

[Nicole]

Strap.

[Meagan Ashley]

How you feel, Nicole?

[Jourdan J]

I'm warming up.

[Meagan Ashley]

You. You do great. You always come in with something.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah, I'm warming up. Getting used to it, for sure.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah, I feel, like, figured I asked.

[Jourdan J]

I need to, you know, I don't know. I feel good, like, having Jay and Jordan here, for sure.

[Nicole]

It's like comfort.

[Jourdan J]

Because if not, I would have just been like, I don't got nothing to say.

[Ebenezer]

Yeah, we still.

[Meagan Ashley]

I think you guys all add value. Like, and again, it feels comfortable because it feels like, just like when we do pre production talks around the table, it just feels like that.

[Nicole]

So, yeah, our zoom calls.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah, our zoom call. Yeah, it feels like that. So, yeah, I appreciate y'.

[Jourdan J]

All.

[Meagan Ashley]

Even if it's something that you don't necessarily feel like doing but you're willing to do, I actually really appreciate that. It has taken a lot of anxiety away from me, and it. It's made me feel more relaxed and not feeling like I have to, like, you know, it's just like having more conversations, which I feel like is more my wheelhouse. So I appreciate y'. All.

[Ebenezer]

Yeah, you're welcome.

[Nicole]

Of course. We appreciate you. It's never. I don't want to do this. If anything, it's just like, oh, I wish we could start at 4. We've done amazing with what we can work with.

[Meagan Ashley]

I think we've been faithful. I think we've been faithful.

[Nicole]

We got new couch, new curtains.

[Meagan Ashley]

Oh, this whole world. Season one in that basement with that plastic plant.

[Ebenezer]

You went to the beginning.

[Beck Bennett]

Beginning.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

I thought she was gonna take two chairs.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

I be looking at them episodes like, desperate times calls for desperate.

[Meagan Ashley]

We were in that basement.

[Nicole]

It's the video. The time lapse. I don't know where. I think it's still in my phone. The time lapse that I have of me, you, and Jay arranging the basement.

[Beck Bennett]

The basement.

[Nicole]

It's literally like 30 seconds. But we was down there in Home

[Meagan Ashley]

Depot trying to work it out. Oh, man. We have been through so much together.

[Nicole]

Too much.

[Meagan Ashley]

Geez. Too much.

[Nicole]

Oh, I mean, not too much. Like, we just been through a lot together.

[Meagan Ashley]

We have been through a lot.

[Ebenezer]

And he brought us right on through it and keeps. You know what I mean? He'll split the Red Sea, but you gotta step up to the water.

[Nicole]

Hello, Paw Paw.

[Ebenezer]

Put the staff down. You know what I'm saying?

[Meagan Ashley]

But I did. I did kind of want to get Yalls feedback on what I wanted to talk about today in the sense of, like, even, like, as much as we've been through, like, we've. We've gone through a lot of battles with each other. Like, we've not with each other, but with each other, we've. We've walked through a lot of battles and fights, and we've had to fight our way through a lot of stuff over the last six years.

[Ebenezer]

I was about to say a few, but definitely six. A few.

[Meagan Ashley]

I mean, almost seven years. Almost. Really?

[Ebenezer]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

I mean, 2019 to. We're halfway through 2026.

[Nicole]

And, yeah, I'm talking. Cause we not excluding no battle, right? We not saying.

[Ebenezer]

Oh, absolutely.

[Nicole]

Absolutely not.

[Meagan Ashley]

We including all them battles. We including all them from the jump.

[Jourdan J]

From.

[Meagan Ashley]

From the jump. But we. We've walked through a lot of battles. And even just sitting here and just in this moment, just reflecting, like, you know. Yeah, like the Lord has kept us and sustained us and like, you know what I'm saying? Thinking back about just even starting in totality in the basement with that purple light in this plastic plant to, like, this set. And it's different. And we've, you know, we've made it whatever, from better camera quality, better everything. It just has grown. But it's like when you sit back and you look at this, it's like, wow, the Lord really brought us through, but. And he brought us through, but we also had to fight. You know what I'm saying? It wasn't like we. He brought us through and we just. He dragged us the whole way. It's like.

[Nicole]

Like we were only patient. Patient was a part, but we didn't. There was participation.

[Meagan Ashley]

There was participation. And I. I was thinking about. And I was talking to the village community last night on Patreon, Shout out to the village. We were talking through the last chapter of Beloved, and the last chapter is called Endurance. And we talked a little bit that in a previous episode, we talked about endurance, and we talked about, you know, the going at the pace at which the Holy Spirit is growing us and sanctifying us and all this stuff. And part of endurance. I started thinking about this. I'm like, part of endurance is also being engaged in the battle. And I think that there are so many of us who get so weary in our faithfulness that we just decide to stop fighting. You know what I mean? Where we just throw our hands up. And I think it's two. Two different angles at that. I think one angle can be, I'm weary. I feel like I have fought battle after battle after battle, and now I'm just weary. And so I'm not. I just don't want to fight anymore. And so you put your armor down and you stop engaging in the battle because you're weary. But you have the other side of. Of people who don't engage in, in the fight. Right? Because we know that our faith is like, fight the good fight. Right? It's a fight battle, but there is, there is a fight. There is a battle that it is warfare.

[Nicole]

Right?

[Meagan Ashley]

We know that and we know that by scripture all throughout the Bible. Right?

[Ebenezer]

True.

[Meagan Ashley]

But then you have this other side. And it made me think of David. And I was listening to this Paul Washer sermon, and he wasn't even talking about David. He was just making a general statement. But it made me reflect on David in 2nd Samuel 11. But he was basically saying how, like, don't get so prideful in the fact that you've come out of battles that you stop fighting. Right? Like you, like I've. Like how kind of in the sense of what I'm reading in David with David's story in Second Samuel, where before David commits all of these sins, right? And it's like a few of sins, right? It's a, like, it's a lot in chapter 11. Right? But something, and I know Ebenezer shout out to Ebenezer. I know he talked about this once, and I thought it stuck with me, but then it, I reflected back on it when I was listening to. When I was listening to Paul washer. But in 2 Samuel 11, the scripture says that in the spring when kings marched out to war, David sent Joab. Or is that his name? Is that how you say it?

[Nicole]

Joab?

[Jourdan J]

I always say Joab.

[Meagan Ashley]

Joab with his officers and all of Israel, they destroyed the Ammonites and besieged. How do you say that name? R A, B, B, A, H. It sounds like Rabba.

[Nicole]

Rabba. Okay.

[Meagan Ashley]

But that's not the main point. The main point is David remained in Jerusalem. Right? And so in the first part of the, of the scripture, where it says in the spring when kings march out for war, basically David stayed home. And so I, I started thinking about that and I'm like. And I start to look at what follows after David staying home. And it's like, he stays home, he's. He's on the rooftop. He probably should be sleeping or he really need to be in the battle, but he's at home and he's walking around on this balcony and he happens to see Bathsheba and she's bathing, and he is like, he's lusting after her pretty much. And then he calls for her to come to him or sends somebody to, to bring her to him. He. He sleeps with Bathsheba, she gets pregnant, and then he goes and conspires to get Uriah Killed, basically because he doesn't want it to come out that he committed this sin and got besh. So he's trying to cover up the sin. He sins, and then he tries to do. He commits more sins by trying to cover up the sin. Yeah, right. And looking. Looking at David's response, and we see this in Psalms 51. We see his repentance in Psalms 51. Right. And looking at his response, and it's like if David was actually doing what he should have been doing. Now, granted, I'm grateful we have Psalms 51. I'm grateful we have 2 Samuel 11. Right. Because we see that when a man is truly after anybody, when a person has a. To truly do and go after what's good and what's holy and pleasing to the Lord, and they're a person that's after God's heart. What's wrong?

[Jourdan J]

I don't know. Nothing. Come on.

[Meagan Ashley]

Popeyes. Whose Popeyes? You just wanted fries and a soda.

[Nicole]

No, I didn't bring that.

[Meagan Ashley]

Foxy. Thank you, Jordan. Shout out to Popeyes.

[Jourdan J]

That's super sweet. Thank you.

[Nicole]

That's okay.

[Meagan Ashley]

Y' all can pass it over to the table.

[Nicole]

I was like, dang. I was having the peeps back there comfy like the kids in the back of the class.

[Jourdan J]

Thank you so much.

[Meagan Ashley]

Granted, I'm thankful for Psalms 51 because we have that prayer to look at when we commit sins, and we look at how David really is repentive. So, like, I'm grateful for that, and I'm grateful for second Samuel. So we're looking at a man who's after God's heart. And, like, we're seeing that. We're seeing God forgive him, even though he. He commits these egregious sins. I mean, these aren't just. I mean, sin is sin. I understand, but these are.

[Nicole]

He's not fibbing adultery and murder.

[Meagan Ashley]

You know what I mean? Like, this is, like, egregious, right? And not even just murder, but conspiring. It's just palindon. It's the stacking of sick you're adding on David. It's like, what are you doing?

[Nicole]

What he does. Trying to, like, kind of make up or, like, change the fact that he's sin and, like, digging himself.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah, you dug yourself a deeper hole, bucko.

[Nicole]

Like, just stop.

[Meagan Ashley]

You should have just repeated.

[Nicole]

Yeah, just. What's done is done. Repent.

[Meagan Ashley]

Nah. So. But. But looking at that, it's like, had he been steadfast in doing what he was supposed to do, engaging in the war that he was supposed to be engaged in. He would not be wandering around on this rooftop to see Bathsheba, to lust after her, to sleep with her, to get her pregnant, to cover up the. You know what I'm saying? It's like he wouldn't be doing all of that had he been engaged in the battle, had he been where he was supposed to be, had he been doing what he was supposed to do. And it's. And it's so clear that we can see that when we're not engaging in the battle, we fall into sin. We do.

[Nicole]

And we're just left idle.

[Meagan Ashley]

We're left. And then not only that, but because a lot. I was reading this last. Last night and like, the last couple of days. But it's like we see David repent, right? In verse or in chapter 12. And sometimes we think, like, it's one day, then the next day, or, like, you know, because of the chapter goes from this story to this story, you think it's like, back. But no, like this. This is over months. Most scholars say that it's almost a year before David repents. Almost a year. And so you've been sitting in this for almost a year without repenting.

[Jourdan J]

Wow.

[Meagan Ashley]

And so then if you. If you look at Psalms 51, this is why it sounds so dramatic in Psalms 51, where he's, like, sitting in. Like sitting in this unrepentant sin for that long. It affects you mentally, physically, emotionally. Like, and it affects your experience with him. Like, he's not saying. Because again, the Holy Spirit wasn't indwelling people at this time. Like, he wasn't indwelling people. So he's not. He's not basically saying he's. David's not asking to be re. Saved. He's asking to experience God. Again, I'm not hearing you. I'm not feeling you. I'm not enjoying this because I'm. You know what I mean? And all of it is because you are. You. You're sitting in unrepentant sin.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

You're sitting in this sin that you have not repented of.

[Ebenezer]

Naturally, distance is created from a holy God.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yes. And it's like the Lord isn't taking away your salvation, but he will. He will pull back sometimes on.

[Nicole]

On.

[Meagan Ashley]

On you experiencing, like, his manifest presence. He'll pull back. You know, he still loves you. All the things that's. But he. But experiencing him. It's like when you. Sin separates us from God. That's what sin does. And so if you're sitting in sin that you have not repented of. Naturally, you're going to feel like you're

[Jourdan J]

not experiencing the redemption.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah. Come on.

[Ebenezer]

Yeah. Intimacy is, like, not possible at that point.

[Nicole]

Yes, but that's not the Lord pulling back, right? That's you pulling back.

[Meagan Ashley]

I think that the Lord pulls back on his manifest presence. Like, I don't think that you'll feel his manifest presence. And I think there is something where the Lord withdraws a bit. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I do believe that he withdraws from us feeling his manifest presence in a certain type of way. Because you're sitting. That's what sin does. It separates us from God. You know what I mean? So whether that's us walking away or the Lord pulling back his manifest presence, I do believe that that is a thing. You know what I mean? And I think. And I want to be mindful because, again, I've talked a lot on this podcast about desolation seasons where we don't feel his manifest presence. And that's not always a result of sin. Sometimes that's a result of him maturing us. So I don't want you to feel like maybe you're in a desolate season, a desolation season. You're like, oh, my gosh, I've sinned. But I think it's always. I think it's always wise to approach, though, when you aren't feeling his manifest presence. I think it's always wise to approach those seasons first, asking the Lord to search your heart. Because there could be some unrepentant or unrepentant sin. It could be, but that doesn't mean it's always the case. In this case with David, it was. He had spent almost nine months to a year not repenting.

[Nicole]

Do you have. Do you have any, like, inkling on what maybe took him so long? Especially being a Christian?

[Meagan Ashley]

In my opinion, I feel like when we are not quick to confess, our conscience gets seared to an extent where we're not. So now it's like we're. I don't know if it's because of shame or guilt or whatever, but we are not. Like, the longer you wait, the harder your heart becomes. The harder your heart. Yeah. Gets.

[Ebenezer]

And up until Nathaniel brought it to him, had he technically gotten away with it?

[Nicole]

Nathaniel is his real name.

[Ebenezer]

Sorry, that's.

[Meagan Ashley]

That's a really good point. That's a really good point. Because, yes, up until that point, he had gotten away with it. It was the Lord that sent Nathan to David in the eyes of men

[Ebenezer]

he got away with.

[Meagan Ashley]

And so, yeah, publicly, he got away with.

[Nicole]

But, no, there was no. He didn't have conviction when he first. Because, you know, I understand, as humans, we mess up, but when, you know, the Lord, it's like he didn't feel like.

[Meagan Ashley]

I mean, we. All I can say is based off of Psalms 51, he was feeling something like he was going through it. You know what I'm saying?

[Nicole]

But it was nine months that, like, sir, you're David.

[Ebenezer]

I think that spiritual death, though. And like in James 1:14, it says, temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, which it did, it gives birth to death. Yeah, but in this instance, it was physical death of her husband, but spiritual death in the sense of his relationship with the Lord. Yeah, So I think what we're seeing there is a spiritual death where it's like.

[Meagan Ashley]

And I think that that increases the longer you wait to repent. You know what I'm saying? It's like day. And so we don't know what. Why David didn't repent. I'm gonna say that because you went from one sin to another sin to another sin to another sin. It's like this kind of hardening of your heart and your searing of your conscience where you don't have the humility. You know what I'm saying? Like, your heart is becoming hard. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Listen, I think we've come a long way in talking about mental health. But if we're honest, asking for help can still feel really difficult. It's interesting how we'll encourage a friend to get support without any hesitation. But when it comes to us, we've convinced ourselves to just keep pushing through better helps. 2026 State of Stigma report surveyed 2, 000Americans and revealed that 85 of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet 74 say society discouraged people from doing so. That really stood out to me because it reminds us that there's still a gap between what we believe and what we actually do. Listen, as believers, we're called to carry one another's burdens, not pretend that we don't have any. I think one of the ways we begin to close that gap is by creating where people feel safe to say, I'm not okay without fear of being judged. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is admit that you need support. Better Help works with fully licensed therapists in the US who follow a very strict professional code of Conduct. They always make getting started simple by matching you with a therapist based on a short questionnaire. And if the first match isn't the right fit, you can switch to another therapist from their recommendations at any time. With more than 30, 000 therapists and over 6 million people served worldwide, Better Help continues to help people that take the first step towards support. Don't let the stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with better help. Sign up and get 10 [e-mail] totality. That's better. H E L P.com totality all right, guys, back to the conversation.

[Beck Bennett]

Hi, I'm Beck Bennett.

[Kyle Mooney]

I thought I was Beck Bennett.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, no, no.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's only Kyle Mooney.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good. All good.

[Kyle Mooney]

Thanks, buddy.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And we host the show what's our podcast here on Headgum.

[Kyle Mooney]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and make you look like a kick ass person online.

[Beck Bennett]

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[Kyle Mooney]

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[Beck Bennett]

I like that it's all in one place. I don't. I like that I don't have to go around, you know, like different stores or something. It's just all.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's like, oh, do I need to go to like a. Do I need another type of website to like, find the right pictures or like another type of website to upload?

[Beck Bennett]

You know, it's all in one place.

[Kyle Mooney]

The video or the audio or like, no, I want it makes it easy. Make it easy on me, please.

[Beck Bennett]

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[Kyle Mooney]

Oh, let's come up with a domain right now.

[Ebenezer]

Let's see.

[Kyle Mooney]

I wonder if it exists.

[Beck Bennett]

Www.friends meeting friends.

[Kyle Mooney]

Friends meeting friends.com that's an original thing

[Beck Bennett]

that we came up with. Friends meeting friends. Anyway, so check out squarespace.com headgum for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code HEADGUM. Save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell, sounds easy. Anybody could do it.

[Jourdan J]

Because even if you just look at the fact that he tried to cover up his sin like he was. He didn't turn to the Lord to help him.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah. He relied on himself.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Immediately and then.

[Meagan Ashley]

And he cared more. It seemed as if he cared more about the public appearance of the thing instead of how the Lord feels about the thing. And we see that because in. Even in Second Samuel, we see that he says, it's you and you alone that I sinned against. Like, I sinned against the Lord and the Lord alone. So you. So you see that he gets to that place where it's like, oh, wow, I really. Like, I. I sinned against God.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

But what was happening in that mean, you know, in that meantime, of why he didn't sin. All I can assume is that you went from one sin to. Cause the second you. Technically, the second you. First of all, you were somewhere you shouldn't have been. So that's just that. But the second you looked at that woman and desired her and you had somebody go get her, you should have stopped there and repented for sure. You know what I'm saying?

[Nicole]

Yeah. And that's what. Yeah. I'm like David. And I guess I'm just giving him too much credit, but it's like, it's David. So I'm like, I know we say a quick little lie and we know how we feel. As far as like repenting and confessing or even if it is like a major sin, I can't say, see us taking nine months to repent, especially if we fell into adultery or something.

[Meagan Ashley]

When I tell you

[Jourdan J]

the paranoia I would be.

[Ebenezer]

It's also his position too, though. He's a very successful king who's winning these wars.

[Nicole]

He's winning as a human just clouded.

[Meagan Ashley]

You're a human being. And he says that. He said, from my mother's womb I was sinful. Like, you know, he says that. So we know that by nature, he's still. Regardless of the battles you fight, he's

[Nicole]

human and he's a man.

[Meagan Ashley]

And you're still born in sin and shaped iniquity.

[Ebenezer]

Yeah. He's taking the plunder of all the people around him. So it's like, what can't I have?

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah. And that's. And it says that in Scripture. It's like when the king says something, that's what goes. You know what I'm saying? It says that in scriptures, like, whatever he says goes. So if Bathsheba didn't even trigger warning, that wasn't just adultery, where it was consensual.

[Nicole]

Yeah. 100%.

[Meagan Ashley]

This was.

[Nicole]

He said, your mind.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yes. This wasn't consensual. I'll just say that, you know what I'm saying? So. And that's because of his position, because he's king, so he gets to just do whatever he wants to do. But regardless, it's like, this is why quick confession and quick repentance is so needed. Because the longer you wait, the harder your heart becomes, the more your conscience becomes seared. And now you just go from one sin to the next sin to the next sin to the next sin. And then how that affects you, that you know, that's. And thank God, honestly, it is the Lord's kindness that leads us to repentance. So thank God. Even though he thought he was getting away with it, nothing goes, nothing gets past God. Nothing gets past the Lord. He sees everything. Yeah, he. He didn't got away with every. He thought he got away with everything until the Lord sent Nathan, right? And Nathan says, hey, he gives him this parable about this lamb and this poor man. And David gets outraged by this parable. And Nathan's like, yeah, you're the man. It's you. You sinned, right?

[Jourdan J]

And.

[Meagan Ashley]

And then the stuff that he says, the Lord is saying to David, the Lord is like, I've given you this and I've given you that and I would have given you more. Why did you basically, why did you do this to me? I. I have given you all these things. I've let you be the king and fight back. I've given you all of this stuff and I would have given you more. But now that baby gonna die, this is gonna happen. This is gonna ha. Like, I don't know why. When I read that, it was kind of like a low key, like kind of teary eyed. Cause I was like, dang Lord. Like the Lord is like, I've given you all of these things. Why would you do that? Why would you betray basically, like, why would you betray me?

[Ebenezer]

Delivered that so many people in lands into your hands. Delivered them.

[Jourdan J]

Like, he's basically saying, I trusted you.

[Meagan Ashley]

I mean, I've entrusted you with a lot and this is what you. You know. And I think even the Lord giving that to Nathan to say to David, because David really did have a heart for God. I can imagine that feeling. Crushing.

[Nicole]

You have. Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

Do you know what I mean? That's the point. Your parents says I'm disappointed.

[Nicole]

Exactly.

[Meagan Ashley]

I'd rather you beat me.

[Nicole]

Yep. When you're just hurt by my decisions. Disappointed.

[Meagan Ashley]

No, disappointed.

[Nicole]

Just call me bad or something. You're disappointed in me. You don't trust me. I failed.

[Meagan Ashley]

That's so like, that's so sad. It makes me sad. But again, I think this is, this is us. Like, we can look at David and look at him sideways. And granted, maybe we're not conspiring to murder somebody.

[Nicole]

I mean, but some people out here, in a way, slander and hateful speech.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah, that's still a thing, right? Matthew 5. When Jesus is saying, you've heard it say, don't commit murder. But I say, if you got, you know, you feeling some type of way about your brother, you've already created committed murder. So all of us are guilty of murder, sin. You know what I'm saying? We're all guilty of it. So we can look at this story and see God's mercy. We can see his kindness, we can see his forgiveness, but we also need to see that we need to be engaged. When Paul in Ephesians 6 is talking about put on the full armor of God, we have to take that serious. We have to stop thinking that we are going to just walk this thing out and it's a cakewalk and it's just skipping through daisies. No, you got to armor up. It's a fight. It's a fight to the end. It's a fight to finish. This isn't one of those things where you can take a break. Yeah, your Christian walk isn't a 9 to 5.

[Jourdan J]

We can imagine too, that David didn't even see any of that coming when he woke up that morning. You know what I mean?

[Meagan Ashley]

Like, maybe he didn't have any intentions on committing that sin. Yeah, maybe, you know, maybe he didn't. But again, this is why you need to be where you need to be. Because the Lord, the Lord sees. The Lord knows what's gonna happen. He knows what's ahead of us. He knows what's before us. And this is why we need to be where we need to be. You need to be engaged in the fight.

[Jourdan J]

Fight.

[Meagan Ashley]

If you're not engaged in the fight, look what happens. You fall into stuff that you ain't got no business fall. And I'm gonna tell you right now, I, I, I'm gonna testify and confess. Now, I've already confessed and repented, but I'll just share. This is why it's so important and part of putting on your armor, the full armor of God, right? We, we talk about the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation, the, the, the sandals of, of the gosp. Sword of the spirit. This is so important. This isn't just Paul saying these things. Just to say it because it sounds good. It's necessary. I, I, I was, you know, in my feelings, whatever woke up not being disciplined, did not pray, did not spend time with the Lord, did not get before the Lord, didn't do anything, didn't ask the, the Holy Spirit to fill me up that day. Nothing got in my feelings. And I sinned against the Lord in a way where. And I didn't do what David did. Okay. Like, I didn't murder anybody. Well, in my heart, maybe I did. Maybe it was murder in my heart. But anyway, I, I just. I moved off of feelings and not off of love. Love. Yeah. I moved in a way where it was emotional, impulsive, you know, not just not thinking that it's not that big of a deal because it's this or it's not that big of a deal because it's that. And I dishonored the Lord and I dishonored someone else in my actions. And at first it was kind of like, whatever. Do you know what I'm saying? Because again, I didn't wake up. I didn't wake up that morning and put my armor on.

[Nicole]

It had to be brought to your attention.

[Meagan Ashley]

It did. I had a Nathan moment where somebody who loves me was like a Nathan and was like, yo, you gotta fix that. That's not cool. Fix that. And then I was like, oh, dang. And then later on, beat myself up for a really long time, kind of feeling like how David felt in Psalms 51, where it's like, like I couldn't get it off my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was just beating myself. I can't believe. And I do think it's healthy to have a healthy grief over our sin. We should, we should feel grief.

[Nicole]

It reveals a lot about you as a Christian.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yes. If you just are happy or okay with dishonoring the Lord or dishonoring someone that the Lord loves.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

Or sinning in any type of way. If you're just okay with that. There's a problem. When we sin, we should be grieved. Even if it's over the littlest of what we deem as little. Like, oh, I just, you know, rolled my eyes. Or I just. Yeah, I just said a little lie. Or I just, you know. But we need to be grieved over that stuff. We can't start letting little things build into bigger things.

[Nicole]

Right.

[Meagan Ashley]

And, yeah, I was just, like, really jacked up about that. But again, had I been doing what I was supposed to do? Had I been engaged in the battle and look at it as an everyday thing. Had I been diligent and disciplined, disciplined and, and humble enough to put my armor on. Because we do have a real enemy. We, we. The, the Bible says that we. That, that Satan roams around, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone he, he can devour.

[Ebenezer]

He's looking for our weak spots.

[Meagan Ashley]

He's looking for it. And just like part of the armor that Paul talks about in, in Ephesians 6, where it talks about the sandals, the, for the, the sandals of the Gospel of peace or whatever, it's like though Paul is giving language to how Roman soldiers would have had their army, their armor, right? But these, these shoes weren't just regular shoes. These shoes were built for long distance marching and they were built for stability so that you would stand on firm ground or if you were on slippery ground, you would still be able to be firm. Right? That, that was the point of these shoes and that is the thing that we. It's like if the enemy catch you slipping, he's going to devour you. If he catches you slipping, he's coming for you. And if he is, if he's committed to prowling around and looking for someone to devour and you're not committed to putting your armor on, you're going to be found. Yeah, you're going to be found. You're going to get caught slipping.

[Nicole]

Well, when the enemy does find you, it's not necessarily he's prowling around to find you, to do damage to you, but even to get you, you to not pray or to be as intimate is the Lord getting you? So I know some people might think, okay, yeah, I'm not, I might not be participating, but I'm not going out there and sinning against the Lord. But there is a process to that. So it might not happen as quick as David's, but after so long, when you look up and realize you don't wake up in the morning and pray, you haven't been to church, you haven't been reading your word. It's like, oh, there's eventually sin will come. If you don't consider that sinning already.

[Ebenezer]

Correct.

[Meagan Ashley]

Eventually. Like I said, you don't get caught slipping. You will eventually. And like I said, when we start to do little what we deem as little sins, it does build up because it sears your conscious over time.

[Nicole]

Quenching the spirit.

[Meagan Ashley]

Quenching the spirit. That's exactly what it does. And so it's so important that we are engaged, that we are fighting the Good fight. But we gotta fight. Like we have to fight. We have to be diligent and committed to putting our armor on every day. Not just. Oh, some days.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

You know what I mean?

[Nicole]

And not just pieces of armor.

[Meagan Ashley]

And not just pieces of armor. We have to be. No, it's put on the full armor. Right. In the Book of John, I think. I don't know if I mentioned this already, but in the Book of John, Jesus says that if, if anyone wants to follow me, they have to deny themselves and, and pick up their cross daily. This isn't something that we get to pick and choose when we do it. And if you've really, truly received the love of God and you see him for who he is and love him in return, this should be a thing that you want to do. Because I want to be diligent in being where I'm supposed to be.

[Nicole]

Yeah. He says daily. I make it hourly type.

[Meagan Ashley]

No, seriously, minute by minute.

[Ebenezer]

Hmm.

[Meagan Ashley]

That. That's the type of approach the Lord. And I truly believe this. And I know I've said it before, but I truly believe we are in a season where the Lord is growing us up. Maybe we've been able to get away with these bi weekly type of devotions or these every other day prayers, or this. I'll fast when my church fast, but not when I feel conviction to fast, when the Lord is telling me personally to do it.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

Maybe the Lord has given us grace and he has been merciful and allowing us to kind of get away with it. I don't. I gets timed up on that. It's like, no, I want serious people. I want people who are serious about me because I'm serious about y'. All.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

And I want seriousness in return. And seriousness doesn't mean joyless, but it means being serious. I'm going to be serious about waking up, getting before the Lord, asking the Lord to fill me with his spirit, asking him to direct my path, asking him to illuminate his word, Asking like, I'm going to be diligent about, about that. And I'm not just gonna do it when I feel like it.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

I'm gonna do it when I don't feel like it, when it's convenient, when it's not convenient.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah. Like devoted.

[Meagan Ashley]

Be devoted to him. Be devoted. And, and, and again, you may not know. Maybe. And like, maybe for some of you, I'm. I, I know this has been me asking the Lord for specific directions with specific things. Should I move here? Should I do this? Should my kids go to school here. What do I do about this relationship? Should I be dating? Do I do, like, all the things? Right. And asking the Lord, I want specifics on these things. Right. But the Lord is like, I've given you specifics in my word, and you haven't abided to that. You haven't obeyed that.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

I've also told you to pick up the cross and follow me. I also told you to put on your armor. I also told you to seek me.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

I also told you to, like, you know what I'm saying? It's like, I've also told you to do things explicitly in my word that you haven't been devoted or committed to yet. You want me to. To give you all of the instructions on this. If you can't obey this, how you gonna obey that?

[Jourdan J]

Right.

[Nicole]

That's what I was saying.

[Jourdan J]

We.

[Nicole]

We want to be put in the situation and be able to work it out from there. And it's like, we don't know that. Oh, we don't understand that being devoted, being disciplined, being consistent, being diligent, all of that stuff is needed for the next stage or the next phase of life that the Lord is taking you through. But I think we just kind of bypass that. And I actually feel like. Like when you just think of Christian platforms and like, how we're having this episode and what pastors and teachers talk about on pulpits and stage, it's like, it is this reoccurring theme or this recurring theme of, yeah, we gotta fight the good fight, we gotta put on our armor and stuff like that. And it's like, yeah, but the fact that it's. So this conversation is being had a lot, it's revealing our immaturity in faith. Because it's like, if somebody have to keep telling you to put on your armor, be devoted, don't give up. I understand. We are human, so we do need those reminders. But starting a podcast or getting into grad school or starting a family or getting married, it's like, these are big things. And it's like people still have to tell you to put your clothes on or put your shoes on the right and the left foot. And it's like that shows you where you're at. And it should. I know for me personally, it humbles me to be dedicated into being able to mature so that I can get to that, because even me pouting at the fact that I have to be devoted is showing my immaturity. And I don't think as Christians, we kind of look at it that way, it's like you don't want to do it, but the fact that you don't want to do it should actually show you how you're not ready for what you want to do.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yes. Yes. And it would be no different if Eli, say Eli was driving and could drive wherever he wanted or whatever. And it's like, it would be crazy for me to give him the freedom to just trust him to drive and make, you know, go wherever he wanted to go or go to school and back or to the gym and back or wherever he wanted to go if he wasn't disciplined and stewarding over. Is your room clean?

[Nicole]

A hundred percent.

[Meagan Ashley]

Did you do the dishes? Do I have to remind you to take out the trash? Do I have to remind you to put your shoes in your room? Do I have to remind you to. You know, if I have to remind you to keep reminding you.

[Nicole]

There's all things.

[Meagan Ashley]

I can't trust you to take a car and do something where I don't even have eyes on you. You know what I'm saying?

[Ebenezer]

It.

[Meagan Ashley]

We have to look at it in that way. We have to grow up.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Meagan Ashley]

We have to grow up. And the other thing that I was thinking about when I was talking to the village last night, I was just like, dang, we would be so less wounded as Christians if we would just put our armor on. Think. I. I feel like there are so many wounded Christians that are wounded. Church hurt, you know, whatever. We're wounded because we don't have our armor on. And so you. So you get. You don't put your armor on, and you don't know that at 2pm you about to face a battle. You don't know at 3pm the enemy is about to hit you in an accusation that's gonna mess with your mind all day.

[Jourdan J]

Right.

[Meagan Ashley]

Because you don't have your helmet on.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

Now you're. Now you're jacked up in your mind and going through it and being tortured mentally, all because you just decided, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna put the helmet of salvation on today. Do you know what I'm saying? The enemy is coming at us with flaming arrows all the time. If we don't have our shield on and we don't have our breastplate on, we don't have our belt and our sword and our helmet and our shoes. Like, if we don't armor up, we're gonna be wounded. A lot of us are going through things that. That we never needed to go through.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

All because we're not diligent.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

And vigilant and dedicated and committed to just doing what he has called us to do.

[Nicole]

Armor up.

[Meagan Ashley]

This is not a cakewalk.

[Ebenezer]

It's a war.

[Meagan Ashley]

It's a. A literal war.

[Jourdan J]

And even, you know, speaking to like, Christ, like, as Christians, like, wanting to kind of just like be in the thing without, you know, going through the process. You know, this example that you just gave where it's like, you don't know that this is going to happen to you at 2pm in the afternoon. Right. And it's like that ends up happening. You didn't armor up that morning. And the same grief that you experience when you're, you know, lamenting to the Lord about all of the things that you want. In some cases it's like. Like that was the opportunity. You know what I mean? Like, in some cases it's like you weren't ready for the thing that the Lord was trying to do. Even like how you talked about David and the Lord is like, I would have given you even more. You know, it's like all of these things all go together. It's like literally, it works together.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah, it all works together.

[Jourdan J]

Put on. Put on your armor. Like, be devoted to the Lord daily.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Be.

[Jourdan J]

It's like, stay ready so you don't have to get ready.

[Meagan Ashley]

Basically.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah. And this is why the Lord has. I mean, he.

[Jourdan J]

He.

[Meagan Ashley]

Scripture has told us this from the beginning in Exodus where he talks about daily bread. All of that is important because you like it. It is a daily walk. It is a daily thing. And so if for me, it's like, I don't know what tomorrow is going to look like. I don't know what next week is going to look like. I don't know what the next few hours are going to look like. I do know the. The Lord does. And so. But responsible to do is doing my part. If he's told me to put my armor on, then that's what I have to do because he knows what's ahead of me. I don't. But like you said, if I do my part, then I'm prepared for him to do his.

[Ebenezer]

And it's not like he even burdens us to weld our own armor. He equips us.

[Meagan Ashley]

He equips us.

[Ebenezer]

You just gotta put it on.

[Meagan Ashley]

That righteousness that you putting on ain't yours. He gave it to you. You don't deserve that, but he gave it to you. That sword. He gave it to you. That shield of faith, that shield. He gave it to you. The helmet, he gave it to you. The belt, he gave it to you. He already gave.

[Nicole]

Like.

[Meagan Ashley]

It ain't like. He's like, yeah, go make the armor. Here's the armor. Put it on. All I'm asking you to do is put it on.

[Jourdan J]

Use it.

[Meagan Ashley]

That's like me when it comes to Caleb. I don't expect Caleb to pick out his clothes, iron them, you know, lay a whole outfit out. I don't expect that, but I expect you to put it on.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

You can do that.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

So I'm gonna lay this out for you, and I expect for you to put it on. I'm not expecting you to do all. The Lord is not expecting us to be God. He's God.

[Nicole]

Exactly.

[Meagan Ashley]

He's expecting us to. To be obedient. That's it. Just be obedient. Put the dag on.

[Nicole]

Armor on.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

Because you don't know the battles that are ahead of you.

[Ebenezer]

You.

[Meagan Ashley]

I do. And maybe you go through the whole day without maybe a major battle. It doesn't matter. It's the consistency.

[Nicole]

Yeah. That's what I was about to say. That reminds me of one. Because the whole stay ready so you don't get ready. And then the whole armor thing, it reminded me of why I don't like knee pads. Like, in the sense of I don't think they're cute. But also, I remember when I was learning to ride my bike, like, my mom would say, you know, put them on just in case. Put them on just in case. And I used to think that she would jinx me, but she. Because anytime that I wore it, I never. And when I tell you, never fail, anytime I didn't put them on, I failed. And, like, it was like, yeah. I used to say, you're jinxing me because nothing's happening when I'm on. But then it reminds me even of Karate Kid in a sense of, you have to get in the habit of being obedient. So it doesn't matter.

[Meagan Ashley]

What did he say? Pick up the jacket.

[Nicole]

Pick up your jacket.

[Meagan Ashley]

Pick up your jacket.

[Nicole]

Put it on and hang it up.

[Meagan Ashley]

Now take it off.

[Nicole]

What is the point? What is the point? And, you know, it don't make sense, but I. I mean, yes, it makes sense as an adult now, but it's just like, I really think just as Christians and as humans, but definitely as Christians, we should really take for granted the parallels and just the way the Lord structured. Don't take it for granted. Yeah, don't take it for granted how the Lord, like, kind of paralleled this life to the spiritual world. Like many ways in which we grow up and go through sports and jobs and the way we have to present ourselves. Just like the morals, moral principles and the foundations of the world. It's like, it really does help in the faith, but it's harder because we're talking about something you can't see or like, we're talking a lot of mental things, but it's just like, just how you gotta. Like, if you did any sport, you was doing a lot of stuff that, like, for events or things that you probably would never do. I never did a tap piece in a showcase, but I took tap classes. But it's just like, stay ready so you don't have. You never know.

[Meagan Ashley]

You never know.

[Nicole]

And even if you do know, know, follow, obey authority. That's like, that's the bare minimum. What you can learn is to be obedient. But it's just like, we always have to have logic and answers and whys. But to the Lord, we have to remember that, like, he doesn't owe us an explanation, just like your parents did. And just how you don't owe your children an explanation.

[Meagan Ashley]

So I think that's a big thing, that whole. Just obey the practice of it, even if you don't. Like, maybe the enemy doesn't come at my brain with a big accusation today, but that doesn't mean he won't tomorrow.

[Nicole]

Yeah, for sure.

[Meagan Ashley]

You know what I'm saying? I could. There have been days where I have gone through all day, and I'm like, you know what? I had a pretty good day. Like, I ain't really fighting Satan, you know, everybody good, we chilling, and then the next day wake up with a horrible thought like, you're worthless, you're stupid. You're not useful in any way, you know, out of nowhere. But if I'm not in the habit and in the practice of armoring myself even before I go to bed, you think I'm not armoring myself. It ain't like, hang that armor up to go to sleep, right? Absolutely not. I'm going to sleep. Are you kidding me? I'm going to sleep with that bad boy on. You not about to come for me in my dreams or me wake up with just an intrusive thought? No, I'm keeping this armor on. So I'm praying before I go to sleep. I'm reading scripture before I go to sleep. I'm not falling asleep to Netflix and whatever. I'm falling asleep to either some rain sound that the Lord created rain so that's still godly or I'm going to sleep to some worship music, you know what I'm saying? I'm keeping myself armed. I'm keeping myself armed. We gotta know that there is. We, like there is a real enemy out there who's coming for you, who wants to destroy you and not just destroy your actions. You know what I'm saying? Not just. But he's trying to get at your faith.

[Jourdan J]

Right?

[Meagan Ashley]

He's trying to get at what you believe for sure.

[Ebenezer]

Because that's the one part of the armor that extinguishes all his arrows. Your faith.

[Meagan Ashley]

Well, I was saying this is the only offensive. This is the only offensive, offensive weapon that we have.

[Ebenezer]

Right.

[Meagan Ashley]

Everything else is to protect us. This is the only thing that.

[Ebenezer]

That disarms his offensive, offensive weapons.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yes. Yes.

[Ebenezer]

All those arrows fall to the ground.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yep.

[Ebenezer]

When. When you have faith.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah.

[Ebenezer]

And. And I think the parallel in first John, it's. It says, for every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.

[Meagan Ashley]

And you have to know that even just to have faith, that I'm protected in this. Like I'm protected, like when we're. When we're. That shield of faith. I had to look at it as like I'm standing behind the character, the nature, the promise of God.

[Ebenezer]

Fight this battle for me.

[Meagan Ashley]

Christ's work. You know what I'm saying? That's faith. I'm standing behind that. I'm protected by that. You know what I'm saying? So when the enemy is trying to come at me with all these flaming arrows, like I'm standing behind, I got Christ's righteousness accredited to me. Right? Like I'm protecting. We have to see that this is not optional.

[Nicole]

That's the thing.

[Meagan Ashley]

It's not optional. This is what we are commanded to do as believers. And it's not like you're doing yourself a favor by doing this. This is the kindness of the Lord to armor us in the way that he does so that we're not destroyed. Could you imagine if we didn't have all of this to armor ourselves?

[Ebenezer]

You're not gonna make it to the end. You're not going to endure your cook.

[Nicole]

Spoiler alert.

[Meagan Ashley]

You're cooked. You're not going to make it. And this is. But. And then. But so many people do make it. But make it more wounded than they need it to be.

[Jourdan J]

Like you said, weary.

[Meagan Ashley]

I mean, weary and wounded.

[Ebenezer]

I don't want to get in with my clothes smoke.

[Nicole]

I mean, I would be grateful, but I don't want that, but for sure, I got in.

[Meagan Ashley]

I got in.

[Ebenezer]

I'm just saying if I can help

[Nicole]

you, I appreciate it.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But when you the only person showing up to the party smelling like smoke.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

It's like, I'm here today. I only want to come. I still feel like an outsider.

[Meagan Ashley]

Jason, Stinky got that funk on you.

[Nicole]

Everybody looking at you like, where your jewels? You just walking in here.

[Kyle Mooney]

Like,

[Meagan Ashley]

I pray. I pray, though. And there's no, like, classes. I mean, in. In the new heaven and earth, there's going to be no shame or. There's no shame or embarrassment. Jordan said, I will be embarrassed.

[Nicole]

Cuz it's really like, I understand, like, there will be no more and no more of all the negative things. But it's like, you know, the way that the Lord made us is the like, yeah, we get to heaven and see some folks, it's like. Like, I feel like we should be able to be confused or like, how you get here. Like, you must have got in by the skin of your teeth. Huh? You wanted them. Like, I feel like, I don't know, it's more freedom. It makes the kingdom.

[Meagan Ashley]

I think we gonna be too caught up in glory. I don't think we gonna be where we all gonna be happy we made

[Nicole]

it, but y' all think we gonna be just standing there the whole time. Glory, glory, holy, holy, holy.

[Meagan Ashley]

I mean, living life. It's a new earth, so we have

[Ebenezer]

responsibilities and things as we, you know.

[Nicole]

But do y', all, like, are we

[Meagan Ashley]

going to have, like, how did we get here? Go ahead.

[Nicole]

Are we smoking?

[Jourdan J]

Oh.

[Nicole]

Not wanting to be one of the ones that. Making it to heaven smoking. But like, okay, so with that statement, how will we know somebody's smoking? Or unless it's just the Lord, Maybe we won't know. And will they know that?

[Jourdan J]

They.

[Nicole]

They.

[Meagan Ashley]

I think they'll know. I think they'll know. But I don't know. Like, I don't know if we're all going around like, how many jewels you got? How many jewels you right?

[Ebenezer]

Because now envy is coming into play and that's it.

[Nicole]

See? But no, because I feel like that's where envy don't come into play. But as humans, we should be able to ask each other honest questions and just be like, oh, okay, you ain't got no jewels, but at least you here. Like, instead of responding like, it was like, we wouldn't have it in our heart posture to disown. It's just like, oh, I'm just.

[Meagan Ashley]

We're just rejoicing Information.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

You said, I'm just asking for. I just want to know.

[Nicole]

I want to know where you came from.

[Meagan Ashley]

And that is so fitting to Jordan's character.

[Nicole]

Me in them gates.

[Meagan Ashley]

You said the scripture didn't say, not

[Ebenezer]

make it with me, but I'm bringing. I want to know.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Ebenezer]

It's just a question.

[Meagan Ashley]

It's just literally, it's not simple.

[Nicole]

I am not about to do anything to you.

[Jourdan J]

I just want to. Just a question.

[Nicole]

Did you.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah, I. I don't. I don't know if that would be something you would be even conscious of. Yeah, I think you be just rejoicing.

[Nicole]

This is going to be so interesting.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

All these questions here, and I'm not going to remember that I had the questions.

[Meagan Ashley]

You may not. We don't know. It's a mystery as such.

[Nicole]

That's where everybody stop.

[Meagan Ashley]

We have some context of what the new heaven and earth will be, but it's a mystery. All we know is that all I need to know is if I'm going to be there with the Lord, he going to be there. And I'm fighting to get there. That's it. That's all I know. I'm not. Whatever happens, as long as he's there, there. I am curious about, you know, how it talks about. Anything that wasn't for the Lord is basically going to get burnt up. Like, I wonder if that happens in front of us. You know what I mean? And I wonder if, like, are. Is there a moment where you're shot, like, dang, that got burned up. I really thought I was doing that for you. Like I was.

[Nicole]

I don't want something that.

[Meagan Ashley]

I thought, yeah, I would be sad.

[Nicole]

I did in the Lord's name and for the Lord. And he said, your heart. That's why it's like in prayer, you got to make sure you pray for the things that you might miss. Correct. Search my heart, O Lord, please bring it, refine. Bring it the impurities to the surf.

[Meagan Ashley]

You hear me? Bring it up to the surf to my neck.

[Nicole]

Get that ladle and get to scooping. That was the best analogy John Maphir could ever gave. Because I think about it every time. Like in order to purify something, like you gotta refine it in the fire and all the impurities that come to the top and you get that layer fatal.

[Jourdan J]

Yep.

[Meagan Ashley]

Get them. Get them impurities up out of there and dip it.

[Ebenezer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

All that's in.

[Meagan Ashley]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And.

[Meagan Ashley]

But even that, like I said that scripture, Search my heart, O God. That came from David in Psalms 51, Search my heart. And that has to be a prayer, like we have. We have to. I don't know. And again, going back to the whole, restore to me the joy of your salvation. It's like being in a submitted and. And committed and devoted relationship with the Lord helps you sustain that the joy of his salvation. And when you have the joy of the Lord's salvation, you're not finding yourself where you shouldn't be. You know what I mean? Like, keeping that joy of his salvation keeps you where you should be, which is near him and doing what he's called you to do and what he's requiring you to do and not somewhere that you shouldn't be, like the David, you know what I mean? Or not engaging in battle like you should.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

And so I just think that that's so important that, yeah, you might be tired and weary and maybe faithful fatigue. Like, we've all experienced that. But I know that if I was to interrogate my weariness up against my consistency, it's like, well, you're not. It makes sense that you're weary. Yeah, I understand why you're weary. I understand why you're wounded because you haven't been consistent. Not to say that being consistent means that you're not going to ever be weird. We're going to go through trials. We're going to go through suffering and grief and all that. That just is what it is. But I don't want to go through unnecessary wounds. I don't want to have unnecessary wounds. I don't want to go through unnecessary suffering because of my lack of obedience. And I know I'm not going to be perfect, but I do want to be devoted. Yeah, I'm not going to be perfect, but I want to commit to the process. I want to commit to all the things that he's calling me to do, you know what I mean? And be as faithful as possible. But I think that takes seriousness. It takes being serious and taking him serious. It's like taking his word seriously. I don't know. That's just for me, at least where I'm at right now, reading this, really meditating on. I'm like, man, like, yeah, you've experienced a lot of wounds because you. You just weren't committed, you weren't devoted, you weren't consistent, you weren't disciplined. You didn't put your armor on. You know what I mean? And this is why you're experiencing some of the stuff that you're experiencing. And so if that's you, cool repent like confess, repent, and do better. You know what I'm saying? Like, the Lord's mercies are new every morning.

[Nicole]

Do better, do better. That's literally. And like, to encourage you, I you guys and like, just, I guess, practical. But I feel like this is a season. Well, I know for a fact this is a season that I'm in in a sense of growing weary, faithful fatigue and all this stuff. But because I do have a knowledge of. Yeah, I know I'm not consistent in diligence. Therefore, my weariness and my warfare is going to feel exacerbated because I'm also not doing what I. But also being mindful. Just because I do that doesn't mean that I won't experience warfare. I think balancing those two and also am real with myself in the sense of knowing that the Lord knows my heart. He knows that I'm weary. And I even feel like we know we're supposed to put on our armor. So you listen to this podcast, you know, okay, I need to put on my armor. I need to put on my armor. But I really do. Also from Dave, get this from David. I go to the Lord about why I don't feel like putting on this armor, why I didn't put it on, why I don't want to. And each even in that I feel like I save. I don't save myself, but prevent myself from having to go through worse warfare because I know at bare minimum, I'm going, like, talking to him about this, in a sense, like, I'm going back in prayer. So you might not find me, I don't know, at church every Sunday, in a sense of the Lord telling me to be in a certain place and I'm not. But I do know one place that he'll always accept is you at his feet. And I feel like even in my weariness seasons, or even when I only want to put on a helmet or not put on anything at all, I'm at least coming to him with that because I need the Lord to know that, like, I know what I'm supposed to do, but I am. When I say weary, that's just, you know, I'm sorry, but I think that's

[Meagan Ashley]

the humility to say I need help. Like, even for me to put on this armor and let me insert this because I think this is very important. Even the humility and the discipline to put on the armor requires his help, like Lord. And so for you to be like Lord, I don't even want to put on this armor. That's you being transparent and honest and vulnerable and confessing like, I don't even want to do this. Give me a heart to want to do it.

[Nicole]

Yeah, for sure.

[Meagan Ashley]

And help me. Help me see why. Help me see you. That you're good and that you're merciful.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

And that you're sovereign. And so whatever you instruct me to do, I should do it with. With joy and gladness and willingly. Right. But help me. Help me. Yeah, I. I need your help. Help to want to do it literally

[Ebenezer]

says, make me willing to obey you.

[Nicole]

Yes. Make me.

[Meagan Ashley]

Make me. Scripture tells us that apart from him, we can do nothing.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

That he means that. I believe that that's accurate. We cannot do anything without his help or without him ordaining or helping in his sovereign and providence providential way. We need help. So if you are in a place where you're like, I don't want to put my armor on. I'm tired of fighting.

[Nicole]

Or it's just so stinking hard. Like, it's like, like you really do feel like, Paul, I do the things that I know I shouldn't and what I should and I do. It's like, Lord, like, I don't know. For me, that's truly, it's just like, you have to help me. I just, I can't. Like, I wake up in the morning, like, I cannot, I can't. I truly, I don't want to.

[Meagan Ashley]

Especially coming out of battles. You know what I mean? Coming out of battles will really put you in that position. Like, I can't, I can't. You know what I mean?

[Nicole]

For sure.

[Meagan Ashley]

But the Lord is kind and soft, and I think he honors even just that request. And then here comes this, this second win that helps you get through it. That helps you get out of that bed and put on your armor. And even if you did a short five minute prayer, if it was sincere, the Lord honors that. If it's performative, then it bounces off the ceiling and whatever. I mean, he heard it, but it ain't got no power to it, you know? But if, if it's he, the Scripture says in Psalms 51, but a broken spirit and contract heart, you don't despise. You don't despise that. He doesn't despise a heart that is broken over their sin. It's not like you're waking up saying, yeah, I'm not putting my armor on. And that's just gonna be what it is. But you're like, I. I don't want to. And I Want you to help me. Want to. I think he honors that.

[Jourdan J]

Yeah.

[Meagan Ashley]

Lord, I'm grieved that I don't want. Want to pray. I've prayed those prayers so many times. Like, lord, help me wanna pray. I don't even wanna pray. I don't wanna read these scriptures. I don't wanna pray. I don't wanna. I don't wanna do. I don't wanna engage in the fight. And you ask him for help and he helps. The quicker you confess. I promise you, it feels as if the quicker you confess, the quicker he comes.

[Ebenezer]

Cause that's how you close the distance. That's how you close the gap.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I was gonna say. And even if, like, you know, the quicker, like, even if you don't feel him come as quick as you confessed, you at least feel less discouraged. It feels more possible, more reachable to be obedient. That for sure. It's like. But that's him.

[Meagan Ashley]

But that's him lifting it. You know what I'm saying? So he is coming in a certain way.

[Nicole]

Am I? What does he say? My yoke is light or my burden's light?

[Meagan Ashley]

My yoke is easy and my burden is light.

[Nicole]

The burden is light.

[Meagan Ashley]

Well, the purpose of this episode was really talk about putting your armor on. I know we kind of. We talked about eternity. We talked about a lot in this episode. I pray that at least, bare minimum, I pray that it encourages you.

[Jourdan J]

You.

[Meagan Ashley]

If you have been weary, I pray that you're just encouraged to, like, keep fighting. Just keep fighting. Like, I know, I. I get it. I get weary. I want to give up. I'm not as consistent as I should be. I get it. But just keep fighting. Keep fighting. Look to the Lord who is the founder and the perfecter of your faith. Look to him. Keep your eyes fixed. Hold tight to the promises of the Lord, Lord, and let him be your glory. And just focus on him and keep fighting. You won't listen. Even with the armor on, you might get some scrapes. You know what I'm saying? You might get a couple, Bru. You might. But you'll be more protected in this fight. Okay? So I hope it encourages you in. In some type of way. I know we were kind of all over the place, but I hope you enjoy. I hope it encourages you. I hope it convicts you where it needs to, comforts you where it needs to. But ultimately, I pray it leads you to the feet of Jesus and just pouring your heart out to him and allowing him to fill you with his spirit and fill you with his love. So I love you guys. I'll holla at y' all next week. Hey y', all, thank you so much for being here with me on In Totality this week. If this episode blessed you, or challenged you, or even stirred up something in your spirit, go ahead and like this video. Drop a comment below and share with us what part of the conversation really stuck out the most. Share with someone who you think might benefit from watching this. It really, really helps the show. And listen, if you want more of In Totality on a weekly basis, then join my Patreon community. You get early access to watch In Totality episodes, exclusive behind the scenes content and In Totality docu series which is like my vlog. First access to merch drops events, Bible studies where we're walking through the word together, book clubs and so much more. We're growing in our faith together and I would love for you to be a part of it. If you haven't already, subscribe and tap the notification bell so that you never miss an episode Thursdays. You'll find me right here on YouTube in the live chat when the episode premieres. I hope this message encouraged you today. I pray that you find a good godly community and a Bible based church where you're rooted in love and growing. Keep stepping into God's truth In Totality. I'll see you you next time. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Ebenezer]

Sterling K. Brown.

[Beck Bennett]

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that Was Us now on Headgum.

[Meagan Ashley]

Each episode we're going to go into a deep dive from our show. This is us.

[Nicole]

That's right.

[Meagan Ashley]

We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[Beck Bennett]

Are we going to come cry? Yes, a little bit.

[Meagan Ashley]

Are we gonna laugh a lot? A whole lot.

[Ebenezer]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to. That was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify new episodes every Tuesday.