← In Totality with Megan Ashley
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- [00:01]
Megan Ashley
Hey there, In Totality fam, we need your help. We're running a quick audience survey and we love to hear from you. Head over to Gum FM Totality. It's super simple and we want to keep bringing you content that you love. Let's be real, guys.
- [00:16]
Jordan
You know it, we know it.
- [00:17]
Megan Ashley
There are ads on our podcast and we want to make the experience better for you. We need to learn a little more about who's tuning in. By filling out this short survey, you'll be helping us improve the show. It's quick, easy, free, and it'll take you just two minutes. Your feedback makes a huge difference to us. So head over to Gum FM Totality.
- [00:39]
Jordan
That's G U M F M T.
- [00:42]
Megan Ashley
O T A L I T Y. And let your voice be heard. Thanks for being such an amazing part of our community. Let's get back to the show with.
- [00:54]
Jordan
The $5 meal deal at McDonald's. You pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Price of participation may vary. For a limited time only. The way that God created this body, he created our our bodies in a way where there he it heals itself. So I said that to remind you that although you may be going through something that seems very painful, right? If we would just trust in the Lord, know that you can be actively in pain and actively healing at the same time. That you can actively in pain, but God can be producing something great in you.
- [01:43]
Megan Ashley
Hey you guys.
- [01:44]
Jordan
Welcome to In Totality, a place where we celebrate authenticity and openness. We're here for those who are willing to explore, those who embrace imperfections, and for those with open hearts and minds. I'm excited to embark on this journey with you. And while I can't predict every twist in turn, I'm certain that God will be by our side with every step of obedience. Welcome to In Totality with me, your host, Megan Ashley.
- [02:10]
Megan Ashley
What's up you guys? Welcome back to In Totality.
- [02:13]
Jordan
I am your host, Megan Ashley. I feel so out of sorts. Like I feel like I haven't done this in a while. I don't know why I I podcast. You guys see me every single week, but sometimes I don't record every single week. So this feels like I haven't done this in a long time. But I'm really honored to be here. I'm honored that you have come back and and to join the podcast to Listen and trust that I have something to say that might encourage you or help you. And so I'm just really honored and I don't take it for granted. I was kind of challenged with that this morning. And yesterday as I was praying, I was kind of challenged. I was like, you know, I have complained recently in the last couple of weeks just about all the things that I have to do. As you guys know, Acts 242 is happening in just a week. By the time you see this podcast, yeah, it would be a week. And Acts 242 is happening and I am, I am excited. But it has been hard. Spiritual warfare is a thing and so we'll get into all of that. But do me a favor and subscribe to this YouTube channel. If you're watching this, subscribe to the YouTube. If you're listening to this, go ahead and save this as one of your favorite podcasts on Apple Podcasts. Or if you're listening to Listening to Me on Spotify, wherever you're listening to it, make sure you subscribe, make sure that you download the episode, send it to a friend, send it to a family member, send it to somebody that, that might be encouraged by it. And if you are looking for a community, if you're looking for more content from me, even make sure that you join my patreon. My patreon is the village community. I love them so much. They are, they have become families in me. And yeah, it's just an amazing community of like minded believers who are trying to just grow in their faith. And we're doing community and doing life together. And so we have Bible studies, we have book clubs, we have, we have bonus content from the guests that you see on the podcast. We have the In Totality Docu series, which is like a vlog of, of my life. We are actually currently in season three and so you can go back and watch season one and season two and catch up. You will see all of the leading up to all the process and all the things leading up to Acts 242 conference. Yeah, it's just a really, it's just really fun. I really enjoy. I think what I love the most about the docu series is the ability to kind of go back and watch some of the memorable things that have happened in my life like taking my kids to Disney or, you know, preparing for this conference or holidays or just even the little things like sharing, you know, intimate times with my friends. And, and yeah, it's just a really cool. Yeah, it's my docu series. And I love it and so I hope you love it too. Make sure you check that out. And yeah, what else is going on? Oh, huge announcement. I'm trying to think. I'm like, how can I announce this where it's not going to be like, I don't know. But I have merch coming and so I know that that has been a thing that a lot of you have asked me for. And so I will have merch coming really soon. If you are going to Acts 242, you will be able to get the merch there. That is going to be the first place that people see it and have the ability to purchase it. So Acts 242, you will be the first people to get the merch. First people to be able to have the merch. And then after X242, if there's anything left, I am. I will happily put it online for everybody else who won't be able to purchase it. You will be able to purchase it online at the Megan Ashley.com so make sure you're kind of keeping in tune and subscribing and notifications, all that stuff. Make sure you do that so that you can get notified when the merch drops. I'm really, really excited about the merch. I, I was really nervous about doing it just because it is something else to add. But I. Oh, sorry. But I am really excited to. Yeah, I'm really excited to put the merch out so that you can have something else that is also spreading the gospel. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I just think that there are so many different ways that we can spread the gospel and so even through merch we can do that. And so I'm really excited and it feels like me. It feels like things that I the, like the quotes and stuff that's on there, it feels like me. And so I'm really excited about that. And so yeah, if you're going to ask 242, you'll be able to get it there. And yeah, that's all kind of the announcements that I had. For those of you have been following me maybe on social media, you saw that a couple weeks ago I suffered a really bad eye injury. And so I kind of just want to talk you guys through what happened because it has kind of been in, in some ways life altering for me. And so I wear contacts. I've been wearing contacts since I was a teenager and I'm really not that disciplined when it comes to my contacts. I keep them in overnight. It will be days before I take them out and all the things. And. And so this particular week, we were, we were kind of wrapping up our Bible study in the book of Acts and this particular chapter that I. That I taught on in our Bible study on Patreon, shout out to the village. We were doing, we were covering chapter nine. So this is Tuesday night, a couple weeks ago on a Tuesday night. And so I do this Bible study on Acts chapter nine. And if you know what is going on in Acts chapter nine, you know that this is the conversion of Paul. And so in the conversion of Paul, Paul is blind for three days. And so I'm teaching on this. And that morning that I got up to, to, you know, study and prepare for the Bible study, I had not had contacts in for a few days. I was giving my eyes some time to kind of just rest and breathe. And so Tuesday night, right before the Bible study started, I, you know, jumped in the shower, had got ready, and I was like, you know, I need some. I need to put my contacts in so that I can see my. I didn't want to wear my glasses. My glasses actually broke. They were in my car and they broke. So I was like, I can't put my glasses on because the middle part of my glasses broke. I was like, so I'm going to put these contacts in. And so I go to put the contacts in, and they weren't that comfortable, but I was like, maybe my eyes are just, you know, maybe they're retired or whatever. So I put my contacts in. Eventually, I didn't even feel them in my eyes, so I thought they had to adjust it. They were fine. And so do the Bible study. Like I said, we're talking about Acts 9. We're talking about the conversion of Paul, and we're talking about that whole conversion and that whole chapter. And part of it, like I said, is Paul's blind for three days. So I'm just giving you that just to give some context. So anyway, the next morning I go to sleep and I go to sleep in my contacts as I normally do. And again, I understand all the people that are like, don't do that. I get it, I get it.
- [10:07]
Megan Ashley
I understand that.
- [10:09]
Jordan
I get that. Yes, do not go to sleep in your contacts. Make sure you take your contacts out. Yes, lesson learned. But anyway, I wake up and my son is like, okay, you know, he's ready to go. I get in the car and my eye, like, when I woke up, my right eye had just felt really dry. And so for those of you who know that are contact wearers. You know, sometimes your eye gets dry, and you just kind of take your eye and you move it around a little bit. You know, you move the contact around to get it kind of moist under. Under the contact, and you go about your business. You know, all the contact wears. Know. Y'all know we know what to do, right? So I kind of move my contact around, and my eye is kind of feeling a little funny. And I'm like, okay. But if you're a contact where you know how there's, like, sometimes for those who are women, obviously, when you wear makeup, sometimes you can get makeup on your contact, and it feel. And it's like a flim. Like a film over your contact. And so I'm still kind of moving my contact around, because sometimes when you move it around, it will kind of rub off whatever is on top of the contact because it felt like something was over my. My eye, like a fog or something. And so I kind of, you know, I'm moving my eye around or moving the contact around. Get in the car. And the eye is still uncomfortable, but there's still, like, this, like, weird, like. Like film over my eye that I'm like, what is that? And so I'm just going about my morning. Moving my eye around, rubbing my eye, rubbing my eye. Drop Jonah off. And then when I dropped Jonah off, I pulled back up to my house because I had to pick up my. My two older ones, Caleb and Eli. And I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna take this contact out. I was like, I just. I have to order new contacts anyway. I'm just gonna take this contact out. I take the contact out in that there was still, like, this weird, like, haze over my eye. And I'm just like, what is going on? So I'm rubbing and rubbing my eye, rubbing my eye, rubbing my eye. Then I take a paper towel, and I wet it. This is probably where I made the mistake.
- [12:26]
Megan Ashley
I take the paper towel, I wet.
- [12:27]
Jordan
The paper towel, and I'm rubbing my eye. Now, guys, I. I know a lot of you are like, see, that's where you went wrong. But I need you to understand that again, I've been wearing contacts for years, and I have done all of things to my eye, and I've never suffered an injury. Never. I've done all of this stuff before, never have suffered an injury, and I have really sensitive eyes, so I'm always kind of messing with my eye. And so anyway, I. I dropped Caleb off, and I called Jordan, and I. Because this Like, I close my left eye, and when I open my right eye, I don't see anything. I. All I see is, like, if you had put wax paper over my eye, I don't have any clear vision in my right eye, but there's no pain. I just have no clear vision, right? So the first thing that happens is I can't really see that well, so I lose my vision a little bit in my right eye. So I called Jordan, and I'm like, hey, I think I might need you to take me to the eye doctor, because something's wrong with my right eye. I can't see out of it. And she was like, oh, dang.
- [13:30]
Megan Ashley
Like, okay, I'll take you or whatever.
- [13:32]
Jordan
So I get to the house, and it's about 9:00am The. The eye doctor doesn't open until 10. So, you know, I'm sitting there on the couch talking to Jordan, and we're just waiting for time to get by so that I could call the. The eye doctor. So I. I called them. I made the appointment. They said I could come in in about an hour. So I'm like, okay, cool. Jordan and I are sitting on the couch talking. I'm taking my braids out. Were just chatting it up. My eye is increasingly becoming uncomfortable, right? So it's starting to become like, where at first it was like, I just couldn't see. Now it's becoming uncomfortable, and it felt better to just close the eyes. So I'm literally sitting in the living room with Jordan with my eyes closed like this, and I'm just taking out my braids, and I'm kind of, like, keeping this eye closed. I would open this eye a little bit, you know, open and close, open and close, but mainly keeping this. This right eye closed. So anyway, I end up closing my eyes completely, and I'm like, let me just kind of take. Take a nap. And before we go to this doctor's appointment. So Jordan wakes me up, and she's like, hey, you know, it's time to go. We got to get to your. To your eye doctor appointment. All of a. Like, as I go to open my eyes, the pain immediately came. And when I say pain, I mean, it was like it went from nothing to, like, a seven, right? So I'm at a seven at this point. And so I'm just like, oh, my goodness. And I have a very. I believe that I have a very high tolerance for pain. And so I'm just like, oh, my gosh, what is going on? Like, my eye hurts so bad. This is like, I Think this is bad. Like, my eye is actually really hurting. I run upstairs. I hurry up and get dressed. We get in the car. So I'm walking outside, and it's sunny outside. And soon as the light hits my eye, I'm in, like, excruciating pain. Now it's going from like, a seven to a nine. So we get to the. I'm. I'm in the car, and I'm just kind of laying there with my eyes closed. And so we get into the doctor's office, and I'm. I'm, like, looking down at the ground. I'm holding this eye. I'm. You know, I'm. I'm in pain, but it's. It felt like it was manageable for the most part. When I sat down in the. In the seat so that she could examine my eye, the pain starts to increase even more, and I'm just like, I can't open this eye. It hurts too bad. And so I'm trying to, like, remind myself, like, take deep breaths. Like, I know how to do pain management. Like, I know how to get through pain. So I'm like, okay, take deep breaths. She. She's able to open my eye a little bit to put some numbing drops in it. She puts the numbing drops in it. And when I'm talking about a bomb, a bomb from Gillian, like, bro, my eye felt so good as soon as she put those eye. Those numbing drops in it. And she. So she looks at the eye, and she's in her little machine, and she's looking. She's looking at my eye, and she's making these sounds that are freaking me out. She's, like, making me nervous. She's like, oh, okay. Like, she looks like she starts to panic. And I'm like, what is going on? Like, am I blind? Like, what is happening? And so she. She leaves. She's like, I need to consult with another doctor. And so I'm like, okay. She walks out, and she. I can hear her in the hallway talking to the doctor. And she comes back in, and she's like, I need you to go to the emergency room. We're not going to be able to treat you. And I'm like, is it really that bad? As she's saying that the. The numbing drops are wearing off and the pain is now at a 10. And I am, like, borderline, like, shaking because the pain is becoming almost unbearable.
- [17:46]
Megan Ashley
All right, guys, before we continue on with this episode, I want to talk to you about a topic that I love. Laundry is a ritual. We all do. Our next sponsor has made the ritual of Laundry Day so much better. This podcast is sponsored by Laundry Sauce. Laundry Sauce created the world's best smelling laundry detergent and simple to use high performance pods. Laundry Sauce has transformed doing laundry into a luxury and exciting experience. So you don't have to dread Laundry Day anymore. So what's the secret sauce behind Laundry Sauce? They partner with one of the top fragrance houses in the world. The same team behind many of your favorite designer scents. From Australian sandalwood to Egyptian rose to Siberian pine, Laundry Day will never smell the same again. I just use the Egyptian road pods and my clothes smell amazing. Laundry Sauce has some of the most authentic reviews you'll ever read. Like Tim describing Laundry Sauce as it's like being transported to a land of bliss. You guys, listen. It's not just the pods. Laundry Sauce makes scent boosters, dryer sheets, dryer balls, fabric softeners, and even candles. Plus, if you aren't happy, send back Laundry Sauce for a full refund, no questions asked. Now it's time to elevate your laundry ritual with Laundry Sauce. Head over to laundry sauce.com totality and use promo code totality to check out 15% off. That's the best offer you'll find, but you must use my code totality for 15% off your order one last time. That's laundrysauce.com totality. Use promo code totality for 15% off. I've tried meal kits before, but the taste of food just hasn't done it.
- [19:33]
Jordan
For me until now.
- [19:34]
Megan Ashley
This podcast is sponsored by Marley Spoon. Marley Spoon knows bland foods is boring, so they created the best tasting meal kit money can buy. And with my code Totality, you can get up to 27 free meals. Meals with Marley Spoon. You can choose from over a hundred delicious recipes every week, from Cajun Spiced Chicken to Poached Salmon to Butternut Squash Gnocchi to a Vegan burrito bowl. My favorite recent meal from Marley Spoon was their Tuscan Spice Steak. You can now indulge in their festive meals and desserts this holiday season with new premium protein recipes like Duck Breast with Sour Cherry Sauce and Crispy Persian Rice, and dishes to make every meal special, like the Hot Holiday Breakfast Waffle with Candy Bacon. And also, customers can enjoy exclusive tastes from The Martha Stewart's 100th Cookbook with a selection of specially adapted recipes that will really elevate your holiday spread. And many of the recipes are completely customizable. So whether you are looking for a vegetarian meal, family Friendly dishes or low carb option. Marley Spoon has the food you want to eat. My stomach is growling just talking about all this Marley Spoon food. I just cooked a recipe for Marley Spoon last night, and my family loved it. There's something really rewarding about cooking food yourself and it tasting amazing versus doing expensive, unhealthy takeout. This holiday season, give the gift of great personalized food with Marley Spoon. Head over to Marleyspoon.com offer/T totality, and use code totality for up to 27 free meals. That's right. Up to 27 free meals with Marley Spoon. One last time, guys. That's Marley spoon.com backslash. Offer backslash totality for up to 27 free meals. And make sure you use my promo code totality so they know I sent you.
- [21:27]
Jordan
All right, guys, back to the show. And she was like, I need you to go. I'm going to call them right now, tell them that you're on your way, take this paper to them, and they are going to be able to treat you, but because of how large this tear is, we're not going to be able to treat you here. So I go to the ER and I'm in the car with Jordan. I go to the ER and I am just crying. I am in so much pain. I'm like, I put my shirt, my hoodie over my head, and, like, I was having a panic attack because of how bad this pain was. Like, for anybody who has had a cornea abrasion, it is some of the worst pain that, you know, it is some of the worst pain you've ever experienced. So anyway, we get to the eye doctor, the. At the emergency room, they put some of the drops in. And so I was asking him, I'm like, can I just have the numbing drops? Can I just have the numbing drops? Like, can we just keep the numbing drops in my eye? And he's like, I can't do that. I just need to put enough in so that I can examine your eye. But if we keep putting those numbing drops in it, it would eventually melt your cornea. Like, this is actually not that great for your eye, but. But we can put enough in so that we can examine what the issue is. And so I'm like, okay, as he's examining my eye, and I'm going to come back to this point because this was a big. This is a big part of what I want to encourage you guys with. As he's examining my eye, he's telling me, yes, you have. You've you have a. A large tear in your cornea that's covering up a lot of your vision, which is why you could not see. You guys know when you do, like, the eye vision, how it has, like, you know, it'll have, like, letters on the screen, and you have to read like, okay, hk, F, J, whatever, right? This eye was so bad that I couldn't even read one letter on the screen. Like, when it was. The screen was full with just one letter. I could not see it. It was, like, blurry. So. So anyway, I was. Again, the pain was so bad that it felt like it reached beyond a 10. Like, this pain felt like it was at, like, a 20. And so I'm shaking. I'm crying because I'm in pain. And I asked the doctor, I'm like, since you can't give me numbing medicine, is there a pain medicine that you can give me so that I can, like. I don't feel like I can get through this. Like, I was being serious. I was like, I feel like I'm gonna die. I was like, I cannot get through this pain. And he was like, unfortunately, because of the way that our bodies are created in the eye, there's no pain medicine that would even reach up there, right? So there's no. There's no Vicodin. There's no Percocets. There's no pain medicine that we can give you that will. That will release you of this pain. And I was like, well, I think I'm gonna go crazy. And he was like, megan, I need you to understand that this particular eye injury is one of the worst because of the pain. That. That it is because of where the nerves are in that eye. He was like, a lot of people feel like they're losing their mind when they have it because of what it does to your brain, how it affects areas of. Of your. Your head. Like, it increases headaches. This side of my face, my whole face was hurting. He was like, it makes people feel like they're losing their mind. He was like, but I need you to know that it won't last forever. He was like, this will. This. This pain is going to be hard for the ne. He was like, and for your particular tear, he was like, you are going to be in pain until Sunday. He was like, you're going to feel a sense of pain until Sunday. I don't expect you to be okay until next week, right? So this is on Wednesday. He was saying he didn't expect for me to be okay until next week. And so in that moment, because all I could feel was the pain. I started to panic because I'm like, I'm gonna have to. I can't even go through the next hour in this pain, let alone the next four days. There's no way I can do this. And so he was like. I was like, so there's nothing we can do? He was like, there's nothing you can do. He was like, you just need to go home. You need to cover your eye, and you just need to rest. Just don't open your eye. Stay away from as much light as possible, and that's it. And I'm. I'm kind of giving it to y'all in a nice way because he wasn't that nice when he said it. So I'm freaking out. They write. They write me an antibiotic, some eye drops. Jordan takes me to the house, and at this point, I can't even open my left eye because of how much pain it was causing to my right eye. And so I'm just. I'm just. My eyes are closed like this. This is it. This is all I could do for the next 24 hours. I started to have really, really hard feelings and looking back and kind of reflecting on what was causing me to be so emotional and. And, like, I was crying so much that day. Like, I was just bawling, crying the whole day, number one, because of the pain. But number two, having to have my eyes closed felt like I was just in utter darkness. And it reminded me of the time of my life where, you know, back in, like, 2021, where I went through one of the worst depressions of my life. It reminded me at that time. So, like, when I was at. When Jordan brought me back home and, you know, she had to go and she had to get the kids for me and take. Pick them up from school. And I. I remember Jonah knocking on the door and him coming in my room, and I could just. I. All I could do was hear his voice, but I could not see him. And it started to, like, really bring me back to a place when I was in such a bad depression where I could not see anything. It was. It was like I was at. So what happened to me a few weeks ago with this eye injury was. Was, like, the physical representation of. Of the spiritual and mental place that I was in a few years ago. And it brought me back to that time. Like. Like having my eyes closed like that, having to be in the dark, It. I felt like I was right back in that place in 2021. And like, the 2020 and 2021 may. Well, maybe mainly 2021, where I was just in a dark place. Like, I could not see. Like, although I had my physical eyesight, I could not see anything. I remember hearing my kids coming in and out of my room back at that time when I was depressed, but being so caught up in the darkness that I. I could hear them, but I didn't see them. Like, I don't even remember seeing their faces during that time. I don't remember what anything physically looked like. And I. I don't. I feel like I'm not really explaining it well, but it. That's being in a depressive place. It's like you were just in darkness and you can't see. Like, I could. It was like I could hear kind of what was going on around me, but I could. I couldn't see anything. Everything was just dark. And so being temporary, temporarily blind a few weeks ago, it was. The enemy was trying to leverage that opportunity and make me feel like I was back in that place in 2021. Right? And so I remember I was just crying and crying and crying, and, like, the kids would come in the room. Eli sat next to my bed, and he was. You know, he was like, it's okay, Mom. And, like, you're gonna be okay. And. And he prayed for me. And then Jonah came in, and Jonah prayed for me. And they're. You know, Caleb came. Jordan brought Caleb in, and Caleb kissed me and, you know, said, I love you, Mom. And that was causing me to obviously be very emotional. And I got to the point where I could. I didn't care how bad it was going to hurt. I was like, I need to call my mom. And so I called my mom, and she was like, megan, yeah, Like, I've been through this pain. I've done it twice. You're gonna be in a severe pain today. You might be in some pain tomorrow. She was like, but this is what you need to do. You need to get an, you know, some gauze, get some tape, tape your eyes shut, close all the windows, don't turn any lights on, and just lay down and. And just lay down. And so, you know, I'm so thankful, and I'm gonna point to you guys some. Some things that the Lord showed me through this injury that I believe that can help you guys, even spiritually. But I'm so thankful for community number one, Jordan, to just be such a support and to be such a. A support and to be such a help to me. Like, although I could not See, I was so thankful for her in that moment because she was able to help me with the kids, taking. Picking them up from school, making sure that they were good, right? So I was so thankful for that. But not only just that, but for her to, like. Like, she called Jackie, and Jackie was on speakerphone, and she was praying for me, and then, like, for my mom to be on the phone and pray for me and to talk me through it and to help me navigate through what was so painful for me. This is why healthy community is so important. And. And then, like, when Jordan had to leave me to go do stuff and help with the kids, like, she would put. Take my phone for me. And she was playing bite the Bible. Like, she was playing scripture for me so that I could. Even though I could not see it, I could hear it, right? And so she's playing that for me, and I'm just, you know, trying to go to sleep. So, anyway, the next day I woke up and the pain had drastically decreased. It was uncomfortable. But what felt like a 20 the day before the night before was at like a seven or like a six and a half. And I'm telling y'all, by Thursday or by Thursday night and Friday, Friday, I was able to see fully. I was able to take my eye patch off and fully see. I was able to take my kids, take them to school, pick them up from school. Like, I could fully see on Friday. Now I want to take you back. Okay? So now that I've just, you know, kind of rambled about what happened that day, I want to. I want to take you back to what the Lord helped me and showed me when I was at the. The emergency room at the eye doctor, right? This was so powerful to me that the day that I had ripped my cornea and he was able to get those numbing drops in my eye, and he was looking at my eye through his machine, right as he's looking at my eye. Mind you, like I told you before, at that point, I felt like I was in a pain beyond a 10, right? I was in excruciating pain. So as he's looking at my eye, he says, yeah, I see that you ripped a large part of your cornea, but I can see it healing already. I was actively in pain, but actively healing at the same time. And that was so powerful to me because I remember, like I told you guys, the. The heart. One of the hardest times of my life was when I was in a really bad depression in 2021. The pain that I had felt physically mimic the pain that I had felt emotionally, spiritually, and mentally back in 2021. Agonizing. Agonizing pain. Right. That's how it felt. Agonizing pain. But when he told me that although you are in pain right now, you are actively healing. I'm looking at your eye healing itself. The way that God created this body, he created our. Our bodies in a way where there he it heals itself. There was nothing that I could do to heal my eye. There was nothing that I can do to. To make the pain go away. But God had already placed something. He had already placed a system where it was healing itself even though I was in pain. And so I said that to remind you that although you may be going through something that seems very painful, right? If we would just trust in the Lord, know that you can be actively in pain and actively healing at the same time, that you can actively in pain. But God can be. Be producing something great in you. He can be producing dependency. He can be producing perseverance. He can be producing good works in you, even though you are actively in pain. How? The thing about it is, is that you have to understand. Do I think that the Lord inflicted my eye? I don't. I don't think he did. Do I think that the enemy did this to my eye? Maybe. But what I do know for sure is that pain or suffering or afflictions offers us an opportunity to choose who we're going to allow to leverage this pain. So when I. When you are going through suffering, when you are going through pain, you get to decide who am I going to allow to leverage this? Am I going to allow the Lord to leverage this pain, or am I going to allow the enemy to leverage it? Because let me tell you, when I had my eyes closed, the enemy tried to take every shot he could to play with my mind.
- [36:18]
Megan Ashley
All right, guys, listen. We all know that there are things in life that we have to compromise on, like the apartment that's in your budget, but with an upstairs neighbor who plays loud music at the most inconvenient times, or going to the grocery store that's always out of everything just because it's nearby. But when it comes to your health, there's no compromise. So don't go back to that doctor who uses your appointment to catch up on the latest headlines, family group chats, their crossword puzzles just because they're available right now, or they take your slightly sketchy insurance. Instead, check out zocdoc, the place where you can find and book doctors who will make you feel comfortable listen to you and prioritize your health. And you can search by location, availability and insurance. So literally no compromise here because with ZocDoc you've got more options than you know. Sock Doc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. We're talking about in network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health, dental health, eye care, skin care and much more. You can filter specifically for ones who take your insurance located near you and treat almost every and any condition you're searching for. These doctors are all verified reviews from actual real patients, not robots. Plus, Zocdoc appointments happen fast, typically within 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same day appointments. I use Zocdoc and so should you. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com totality and find and instantly book a top rated doctor that zoc doc.com totality zocdoc.com totality all right guys, back to the show. Spark something uncommon this holiday with just the right gifts from Uncommon Goods. The busy holiday season is here and Uncommon Goods makes it less stressful with incredible hand picked gifts for everyone on your list.
- [38:24]
Jordan
All in one spot.
- [38:26]
Megan Ashley
Gifts that spark, joy, wonder, delight and it's exactly what I wanted type of feeling. Look, they've searched the entire globe for original handmade, absolutely remarkable things. Somehow they know exactly the perfect gift for every single person you know. Here's a few of my favorite gifts.
- [38:44]
Jordan
That I found on the site. Listen, anyone who knows me, they know.
- [38:47]
Megan Ashley
I love charcuterie boards and they have the most amazing cheese and cracker boards.
- [38:54]
Jordan
I'm getting them for everyone that I know.
- [38:55]
Megan Ashley
When you shop at Uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses. Many of their handcrafted products are made in small batches. So shop now before they sell out. Before the holiday season, Uncommon Goods looks for products that are high quality, unique and often handmade or made in the us they have the most meaningful out of the ordinary gifts anywhere. They even have gifts that you can personalize. From holiday hosts and hostess gifts to the coolest finds for kids to hits for everyone. From book lovers to die hard sports fan, Uncommon Goods has something for everyone. Not the same old selections you can find just anywhere. And with every purchase you make, they give back a dollar to a nonprofit partner of your choice. They've donated more than $3 million to date. All right guys, listen. To get 15% off. Your next gift go to uncommong goods.com totality that's uncommon goods.com totality for 15% off. Don't miss out on this lim offer uncommon goods where we're all out of the ordinary.
- [40:04]
Jordan
To make me feel like the Lord abandoned me. To cause fear in my heart that I wouldn't be able to see again, that I would damage my eye, that even if I was able. If the pain would. Would. Would pass, that my vision wouldn't be clear again, that I would be. Wouldn't be able to see out of my right eye in the way that I did prior to the abrasion. The enemy was trying to play with my mind about not being a good mother because I could not do anything for my kids that day because I was stuck in the bed, because I couldn't see. The. The. The enemy tried to throw every flaming arrow that he could at my mind because of the pain that I was in. But this is why I am so thankful. And this is why I know that God's word is true and that he is real. Because listen, y'all, at that time of not having any. Having my sight, I could not grab my Bible. I could not grab my phone to play a song or to play a podcast or to play a sermon or to do any. Or to call, really, to call anybody, even though I eventually had called my mom. But I. I didn't have. In that time of that pain, and I was stuck. But I was so thankful that this word that I have committed my life to was stored up in me and that even in my time of pain, where I could not see the physical word, but it was in me, and the Holy Spirit was bringing up scripture to me. So every time the enemy tried to throw a dart and be like, the Lord abandoned you, the Holy Spirit would bring up scripture to me that says that he will never leave me or for forsaken me. So I. Because I. I have committed myself to knowing His Word. It wasn't a podcast that came to my mind. It wasn't my favorite preacher that came to my mind. It wasn't a prophet that came to my mind. It was His Word. It was his word that c. That the Holy Spirit brought up in me to defend. To defend myself against the flaming arrows of the enemy. The enemy was trying to take me out in my mind. And the Holy Spirit kept bringing up scripture. The Lord is a mighty, strong tower. The righteous run in and they are saved. He will never leave me or forsaken me. He you like He Kept bringing up scripture after scripture. And the second the enemy tried to, to, to invade my mind with a thought, the Holy Spirit would bring one, bring up a nut, bring something else up, bring a scripture up to debunk the lie that the enemy was trying to tell me. So I said this to encourage you, right, that even though you might be in pain, it may not be your eye. It may not be a physical thing. I believe that, that what physically happened to me is just a physical examp. Spiritual things that we, that we go through, the mental and emotional things that we go through. But just know that even though you might be in pain, if you trust the Lord with it, he will actively be producing something in you. You be building dependency in you, building courage in you, building strength in you, strengthening you in your weakness. The Bible says that in our weakness, his strength is made perfect. He was perfecting his strength in me. He was perfecting faithfulness in me. He was perfecting love in me. He was perfecting patience in me. He was producing good works in me. Even though I was in pain, I was actively healing. I was actively being strengthened. I was aft actively being encouraged. I'm so thankful that that the Lord is true and that His Word is true. I'm thankful that I had his word and the Holy Spirit to remind me of, of, of what the enemy was trying to convince me of. Lie. And so I, I, I thought about this scripture. It came up and, and this is something that I want to, to share with you to encourage you. This is 2nd Corinthians 4:16. Therefore, we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentarily light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable internal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. This scripture literally feels like it embodied all the things that I was going through when I lost my sight is that although I was being afflicted, although I felt like my outer being was being destroyed, my inner man was being strengthened. That the Lord was producing something in me, faithfulness in me. Even if it was to get on this podcast to tell you that whatever pain that you're going through, that if you trust the Lord with it, that he will be producing good things in you. Even if it's to encourage you to keep going, even if it was to tell you and to remind you that this too shall pass. It will pass. It will. We see it Time and time again. The Lord will deliver his. His righteous ones. He will deliver you. He will not allow the evil one to destroy you. You just have to decide to trust the Lord. You have to decide that his word is true. You have to decide that you believe that he is the same yesterday, today, and forever. That he is not going to change. He is God. He is the great I am. He will deliver you. He will. And so I'm telling y'all, listen, the doctor told me that I would not be able to see until the end of the weekend, early part of the next week. I got my vision back within 24 hours. I was fully healed and recovered by Friday. He. The doctor told me that I had an event plan on that Saturday. He told me, I don't know if you're going to be able to do it because of how large this abrasion is to your cornea. Y'all, I was fine shopping around on Friday. I, I was a little light sensitive, but I threw my. I threw my shades on and I went about my. I went about my day rejoicing in the Lord because He was the one who healed me. He was the one who delivered me. And so I just. I, yeah, I. That whole situation was just so enlightening. It was. It was eye opening. And, and I, and I, and I. And I want to encourage you guys, please, please, please, please be serious about this word. Be serious about knowing it. Because if the enemy, the listen, the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. He is prowling around looking for someone to. To devour. He is 24 7. He ain't taking a break. And neither can you. Put on the full armor of God every single day. Be ready, be protected. Know your word so that the Holy Spirit can bring it up in you and you can be strengthened and encouraged and encouraged during some painful times. I'm telling y'all, when I did not have my vision, I had vision because I stored it up. The Bible says this, this word that I store in my store up in my heart so that I don't sin against you. You have to store this word up. You have to dig, eat it every day, daily feast on it so that when. When you find. Because, listen, the Bible says that we can. Don't consider it. Don't think that it's like a coincidence when you find yourselves in trials. We will face trials. But have courage. Have His Word in you, and you will be able to stand. You will be able to. To endure. You will. You will. And I'm telling y'all, I am a living testimony. I'm telling y'all. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I literally. I can't even explain it to y'all. The worst pain I've ever been in my life. I thought I was going to lose my mind, but it came to like it passed. I can see. I don't have 2020 vision, but I didn't have 2020 vision before the abrasion, so I can't. I don't have perfect vision, but I can see it. I'm healed in the same way that the Lord delivered me in 2023, right out here on my porch. I'm not perfect, but I'm healed. I'm not perfect, but I'm. But I'm encouraged, but I'm. But I'm. But I'm. I'm pursuing faithfulness. I'm pursuing the Lord. My eyes are fixed on him, and so I. So I hope this encourages you, that whatever pain that you're going through, whatever. Listen, man, I don't know what's going on, but the last week or week or so, the spiritual warfare is real.
- [50:21]
Megan Ashley
And especially for those of you who.
- [50:22]
Jordan
Are coming to Acts 242, I know the spiritual warfare is real. We have all been going through it. Trust me. But just know. Just stand. Put on your full armor, and as the enemy is trying to throw flaming arrows at you, when you have your armor on, you are protected. They might hit you, but it won't destroy you. It might hit you, but it won't penetrate. Just know that the Lord is fighting with you. He is fighting for you. He goes before us. He is protecting us. And that you. This pain that you're going through, it will pass. That's all I'm gonna say. It will pass. You will get through it. Know your word. Store it up in your heart. And every time the enemy tries to tell you a lie, you come back with the truth. We do the same thing that Jesus did when Satan tempted him. He used his words. He used the word to fight against him. And it's the same thing that we have to do. Okay? So I hope this encourages you guys. I hope that you feel strengthened by this. Go in your word. Remember Second Corinthians 4, 16, 18. Don't give up. Stand. Stand firm. And know that the Lord is. Is protecting you, and he's fighting for you and. And with you and ahead of you. Just know that you're covered and you're protected. And so I love you guys. Acts 242. I will see you guys in just a week. Love y'all. See you next time. Hey you guys, before you go, I just wanted to say how grateful I am for your love and support. If you've enjoyed this episode, please take a moment and share it with a friend or family member. If you could do me one huge favor, head over to Apple Podcast and leave a five star rating and a heartfelt review. It helps others just like you discover the podcast. You guys, let's continue to spread the inspiration. For more about me and the podcast, visit ww themaganashley.com until next time, Stay encouraged that you are so valued and so loved.