Podcast Summary: EP 54: Daddy God (Ft. Toni Collier) In Totality with Megan Ashley | Released on November 12, 2024
Introduction
In this heartfelt episode of "In Totality," host Megan Ashley welcomes Toni Collier, a resilient single mother and active member of the Christian community, to discuss her transformative journey through faith, divorce, and healing. The episode delves deep into Toni's personal struggles, her relationship with God—whom she refers to as "Daddy God"—and the profound lessons she has learned along the way.
Toni Collier’s Early Life and Challenges
Toni opens up about her tumultuous childhood, marked by her mother's severe illness and her father's struggles with alcoholism. Growing up in a blended family with three older brothers, Toni shares how these early experiences left her with deep emotional scars.
- Key Points:
- Family Dynamics: Toni was the youngest and only girl in a blended family, taking on caregiving roles from a young age.
- Early Trauma: Faced her mother's multiple strokes and her father's aggressive behavior, leading to significant emotional distress.
- Consequences: These hardships contributed to Toni's early struggles with promiscuity, substance abuse, and a chaotic lifestyle.
Notable Quote:
"I lost my virginity at 13 in my SpongeBob SquarePants bedroom."
— Toni Collier [07:39]
Journey to Faith and Sanctification
At 21, amidst a failing marriage and personal turmoil, Toni found solace in her faith. She describes her encounter with God as pivotal, leading her to a path of sanctification where she seeks to embody Christ’s teachings fully.
- Key Points:
- College Years: Originally pursued a degree in business administration, leading a double life fueled by substance abuse and unhealthy relationships.
- Conversion: A significant turning point occurred when a youth pastor recognized her potential and mentored her, guiding Toni towards a deeper relationship with God.
- Sanctification vs. Salvation: Toni emphasizes the difference between being saved and being sanctified, advocating for a life that mirrors Christ's love and integrity.
Notable Quote:
"Living a double life is always going to be my Achilles' heel."
— Toni Collier [12:13]
Experiencing God as "Daddy God"
Toni introduces the concept of "Daddy God," highlighting the intimate and protective nature of her relationship with God. This persona of God provides her with unwavering support and love, especially during her most challenging times.
- Key Points:
- Intimacy with God: Refers to God as "Daddy" to emphasize the closeness and personal relationship she shares with Him.
- Protection and Love: Believes that trusting God is akin to trusting a seat belt during a rollercoaster ride—He ensures her safety amidst chaos.
- Character of God: Discusses biblical passages, especially the parable of the Prodigal Son, to illustrate God's relentless pursuit and unconditional love.
Notable Quote:
"If you trust the Lord in the same way that you trust that this seat belt and this harness is going to protect you... you are safe and protected in his arms."
— Megan Ashley [01:06]
Navigating Divorce and Healing
The conversation shifts to Toni’s painful experience with divorce. She candidly shares the emotional and financial toll it took on her and her children, underscoring the importance of seeking God's guidance and community support during such times.
- Key Points:
- Emotional Struggles: Dealt with infidelity, anger, and the challenges of co-parenting post-divorce.
- Community Support: Received immense help from friends and her church community, which played a crucial role in her healing process.
- Impact on Children: Highlights the resilience of her children and the importance of modeling faith and redemption for them.
Notable Quote:
"Marriage is a covenant that is tethered by the holiness of who Jesus is. When a divorce happens, it is a severing of that covenant... it's devastating here on earth, in the spiritual realm, in heaven."
— Toni Collier [49:37]
Understanding and Reflecting God’s Character
Toni and Megan explore the dichotomy between human imperfections and God's perfection. They discuss how personal experiences, especially adverse ones, can shape one’s perception of God and the importance of aligning that understanding with biblical truths.
- Key Points:
- Misconceptions About God: Warning against equating God's actions with flawed human actions, especially within church leadership.
- Biblical Insights: Reflect on scriptures like Isaiah 6 and Second Corinthians 12:9 to deepen their understanding of God's unwavering support and sufficiency.
- Personal Growth: Emphasizes the continuous journey of sanctification and becoming more Christ-like in thoughts and actions.
Notable Quote:
"He does not want to be like the pastors or the people we meet. He is the perfection itself."
— Megan Ashley [24:46]
Rebuilding and Moving Forward
The episode concludes with Toni sharing her strategies for rebuilding her life post-divorce, focusing on faith, self-care, and fostering healthy relationships. She advocates for patience in the healing process and trusting that God has a plan for redemption and renewal.
- Key Points:
- Healing Process: Utilizes counseling and personal reflection to navigate through anger and pain.
- Faith in Action: Demonstrates how faith guides her decisions, such as refusing detrimental relationships and prioritizing her children's well-being.
- Community and Support: Continues to lean on her church and friends for ongoing support and encouragement.
Notable Quote:
"The only reason why I'm protecting my ex-husband is because I'm protecting my children from the disgusting things that he did."
— Toni Collier [43:10]
Conclusion
EP 54: "Daddy God" is a compelling exploration of Toni Collier's journey from a troubled past to a life anchored in faith and redemption. Through her vulnerability and honesty, Toni illustrates the transformative power of trusting in God and the importance of living a life wholly devoted to Him. Megan and Toni's conversation serves as an inspiring testament to overcoming personal struggles and embracing God's unwavering love.
Final Notable Quote:
"If you can just trust the Lord, know that you are safe. You are so safe and protected in his arms, and he is covering you and shielding you. And you are not forgotten."
— Megan Ashley [73:58]
Key Takeaways:
- Trust in God: Embracing God's protective nature can provide solace during life's most chaotic moments.
- Sanctification: Moving beyond mere salvation to actively living out one's faith with integrity and purpose.
- Healing Through Community: Relying on supportive communities and mentors is crucial in the journey of healing and redemption.
- Redefining Relationships: Learning to navigate post-divorce life with grace, prioritizing children's well-being, and fostering healthy, faith-based relationships.
Journal Prompts:
- Reflect on Your Relationship with God: In what ways do you see God as a protective and loving figure in your life?
- Personal Healing Journey: How have your past experiences shaped your current relationship with faith and self?
- Sanctification vs. Salvation: What steps can you take to move from simply being saved to actively practicing sanctification in your daily life?
For more insights and inspiration, visit MeganAshley.com and subscribe to "In Totality" on your preferred podcast platform.