← In Totality with Megan Ashley
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Megan Ashley
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She's hiding behind her her faith and all of a sudden now she's a Christian. Let me help all of you who think that I've always been what I am experiencing and what I have experienced and encountered of the Lord has been so real that that's why there has been such a major shift and what you came to notice me as when I first came on the scene. Yes, it might seem drastic to some, but I'm pretty sure it was drastic to the Jews when Paul showed up to be their brother and not their prosecutor. I'm pretty sure it was drastic. To all the other fishermen, when Peter dropped his net and started to become a fisher of men, I'm pretty sure that was drastic. Yes, the Lord does drastic things. And it may seem drastic to you, but that's what happened on the cross. It was drastic. He saved us in such a serious way. And when you really come to that knowledge, when you really see what he has done, when you see that he bought you back, when you encounter that there is a drastic shift. Hey, you guys. Welcome to In Totality, a place where we celebrate authenticity and openness. We're here for those who are willing to explore, those who embrace imperfections, and for those with open hearts and minds. I'm excited to embark on this journey with you. And while I can't predict every twist and turn, I'm certain that God will be by our side with every step of obedience. Welcome to In Totality with me, your host, Megan Ashley. What's up, you guys? Welcome back to another episode of In Totality. I am your host, Megan Ashley and I'm so grateful to be here with you again for another episode. Listen, make sure you hit all of your notifications so that you don't miss an episode. Yeah, we only have a few left until our holiday break and I'm really excited about just spending time with family and even for you to just spend time with family. But you definitely want to make sure that you are subscribed, that you are that your post notifications, all of that stuff is on because when we come back in 2025, I do not want you to miss the season where we are coming back and starting over and all the things I don't want you to miss out. So make sure you yeah. Your post notifications are on your subscribes. All the things. Listen guys, if you're listening to this episode and you have not purchased your in totality merch, I don't know what you're doing. Make sure you go right now to my website, themaganashley.com and go get your merch. We just had a Black Friday pre sale and so pre sales are still going on right now and you can order your In Totality merch. We have gray crew neck hoodie, not hoodies, but gray crew neck shirts. We have T shirts, we have beanies, we have hats, all the things. And so yeah, I think it's really cool. I guess this is my. I don't know, I think with the merch it's really cool because for those of you who maybe feel like, I love the Lord. I'm so excited about my relationship with the Lord, but I don't always know how to introduce the conversation to other people. This is why I love faith based merch is because you can wear it and rock it and it's cool. And somebody's like, yo, like, I like your shirt. Or yo, like, what's the shirt about? And then it opens up this beautiful conversation that you get to have about the one that you love the most, Jesus Christ. And so the merch is just a tool. It's just another avenue, another tool that we get to spread the gospel. And so I would love it if you would. Yeah, join me. Come alongside with me. Get the merch, spread the good news of the gospel. Spread your love for Christ. And yeah, I just think that it's really cool. When I see faith based, like, merch, I am always on. Like, if I'm on Instagram and I see like a faith hoodie or I don't know if I see anything that's dope that has anything to do with Jesus, I'm always purchasing or buying it. So, yeah, if you have been supporting me, I just love you and I thank you and go get the merch before it sells out. We did not do a lot of quantities, but yeah, so hopefully there is, there's more left. And if you're watching this right now, hit pause, go get your merch and then come back to join us for this episode. So, yeah, the last episode that you guys listened to, I was talking with Jackie about all things Acts 2, 42. And I'm still just in awe of all that God has done and did and continues to do. I still see to this day Acts 242 threads. I literally was talking. I was with Jordan. Oh, I was with Jordan and Jackie and I showed them. Something came up on my tick tock and someone had like an entire girl's sleepover. And I think it had like Acts 242 content. Like they did a whole, like little sleepover based around it. And I just thought that that was so cool. And so, yeah, I just think what has been happening and what God did has been such an impactful thing. But you guys heard us talk a little bit about some of the struggles that we experience during Acts, some of the things that we experienced during it or before it, during it and after. You know, we had this amazing time at the arena for 28:19 and it was amazing. But I want to kind of talk to you guys about something that And I'm just gonna. I'm. I. I literally am just gonna kind of just chat with y'all. I don't really have any. Like, this is not a Bible study. I'm just gonna chat with you guys. Because when I was done with Acts 242, after I left out of the arena, I felt so, like, oh, and this was amazing. Like, you know, obviously God's presence was there, so thick and tangible. And like, I was telling you guys, with Jackie, like, I was telling Jackie, it felt such like a powerful prophetic moment in time and atmosphere. And Jackie and Jordan and I went to la. We celebrated Jordan's birthday because as you guys know, her birthday was during that time and I celebrated her birthday. We went to LA and just, like, kicked it for a few days and just had fun, had girl time. It was amazing. And we get back and I just felt like how I felt before acts, like the two weeks before ACTS where I just felt like I could not feel God's manifested presence. I just felt down. Like all of that just came back in such a strong, powerful wave that it was so discouraging. And I just felt like the Enemy was just doing a really good job at convincing me that God does not love me and that he just used me. Like, he just used me, like, and not. We talk about all the time, like, oh, God, you know, let the Lord use you and all this stuff. And yes, but this wasn't like a use where it felt like, oh, he used me in a good way, but, like, he used me. Like, he just got me to do something and then discarded me. And that's how it was feeling. And though I know, I know in my mind, in my logical brain that that is not true, but my heart was feeling as if God had left me or that God did not love me and that he just used me. And the Enemy was just, like, just accusing me and accusing me and accusing me. And I felt like I just was going through this really. I don't know. I don't even know how to explain it. It was just this spiritual drought. And that lasted. It felt like it lasted up until I went to London. So after Acts, we had this, you know, great time hanging out in la. I come back and then I think I had a week or two before I had to go to London to speak at my friend Haley's conference called Equipped. And, yeah, I was just like, oh, God, here we go again. I'm about to be, you know, sad or depressed or, like, I just. Yeah, it was just really Hard for me. And even, like, leading up to getting on the plane, like, I just was struggling, like, okay, I don't feel like the Lord is speaking to me. I feel like I don't have anything good to say. I feel like I don't have anything profound to say. I feel like I don't have anything helpful to say. And there was a slight moment. There was a slight moment probably a week before we got. Not even a week, I want to say, probably like three. Three days before we. We went to London, where I was just like, maybe I shouldn't go. Like, maybe this is God telling me that I should not go to London and that I should not, you know, participate because I'm not in a good place with. With the Lord. And I'm. You know, I'm mad at him because I feel like he's not with me. And, you know, maybe he not with me because he's mad at me and all these things. And it was just. It was just a really, really hard time. But, yeah, I. I struggled with that all the way leading up to London. And there was a moment where I was on stage and I felt like I don't even. I don't even know if there was a question or what was being asked of me at that moment, but there was a moment where it kind of clicked to me. Like, in that moment, it clicked to me that the Lord. The Lord did not save us to use us. Like, he saved us because he loves us. And then. And that's it, right? So we know in the Bible, for God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whosoever shall believe in him will have light, right? Eternal life. They will not perish, right? And so I. That. It felt like that. That clicked to me that God does not use you because he just uses you, but he works through you because he loves you. He saved you because he loves you. And I started to be reminded of his love for me. And I don't know, I guess. I guess it was like in that moment, I. If you go and watch it, I think Haley uploaded it on YouTube. Like, you see this moment where, like, I sit up in my chair, and at that moment, it was like, I am tired of the enemy accusing me and trying to convince me that God does not love me. And in doing that, I felt like the Lord was like, Megan, you. By thinking that I just use you and not love you, it's like, you don't believe that I am who I say that I am. Like, his. His. His nature is Consistent. He doesn't change. And the problem is, is that sometimes being so introspective about you, like what I'm learning about myself is, is that I can become so introspective and I can become so self aware that pride starts to produce in me where now I'm thinking too much on me and not thinking about Christ. I'm centering myself too much in my life. And I'm not centering Christ in my life or Christ in my circumstances or Christ in how I feel, but I'm centering myself too much in it. So sometimes we can think that it's humbling, right? Like we're being, hum. We're being, we're, we're acting in humility by being so self aware or you know, taking on, taking on guilt or taking on responsibility or taking on, I don't know. Yeah, I guess just responsibility of something bad happening instead of sent and like focusing so much on this or what did I do wrong? Or I could have did this better or where did I mess up or where. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Right? And especially in seasons of spiritual drought and spiritual dryness, the enemy can do such a good job at, at accusing you of something that he will then train you to take his job. So now he's done such a good job accusing you and God doesn't love you, right? Or, or, or you did this, you can never make up for what you did in the past. Maybe all the things they say about you online is true. All the things that, like, literally he will train. Like if you do not learn how to cast down thoughts and imaginations and anything that tries to exalt itself, the knowledge of Christ. If you do not, if you don't train yourself to do that, you will be trained to take the job of the accuser. You will, he will. You will take it from the enemy. And that's what I was realizing. I was like, oh, wow, this has now not even become the enemy. Accusing me so much. I've accused myself. And then the Lord was reminding me of Megan. It's not even that the enemy accuses you to me, but he accuses me to you. God doesn't love you. He just used you for. He just, he just used you so that you could do Acts 242, but he don't really love you. That was for everybody else. That wasn't for you. How could he really love you? Think about all the stuff that you did. How could he love you? Well, if he loves you, then where is he? If he loves you, where is his presence? If he loves you, why isn't he stopping them from talking about you online? If he loves you, why hasn't he restored that situation? If he loves you, why hasn't that situation been reconciled? If he loves you, why does this and if and and the Lord was showing me like Megan, he's not just accusing you to me, but he's accusing me to you. He is the accuser of the brethren. That is what he does. He accuses day and night. But then I also had to be reminded, right? And I believe that this is in I believe this is in Hebrews. So I was reminded of Hebrews 7:25. Therefore, he is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, since he always lives to intercede for them. And so while we have the accuser of the brethren that is always accusing us day and night, we also have a High Priest that intercedes on our behalf as we head into the holiday season, every dollar counts. From travel expenses to never ending names to cross off on your gift list, we could all use some extra cash back in our pockets. That's where Upside App comes in. The Upside app gives you opportunities to earn after filling up your tank, going out to eat or grocery shopping. 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Some of that stuff may be true. Maybe you were a liar. Maybe you were a manipulator. Maybe you weren't a good friend. Maybe you were a cheater. Maybe you weren't the best parent. Maybe you weren't the best daughter. Maybe you have anger problems. Maybe you were addicted to pornography, right? There's so many things there. There might be facts of your life that the enemy might take and try to accuse you of and remind you of. But you have to know that in Christ you are a new creature, that you are no longer a slave to sin and no longer are you just a slave to this gospel. But you are his son and his daughter and that he loves you. I was reminded of the prodigal son, the parable of the prodigal son. And I've talked about this before, but it was just something I was meditating on on this this morning too. And another scripture that I'll talk about. But I was just like, man, like the prodigal son, like he. He takes his inheritance. He takes what he did not earn, that he. He takes what. What was. What was given to him. And he goes and he just does whatever with it. He finds himself in the. In a pig pen. And he. And he comes to himself and he comes and returns back to his father. And how the Lord describes how the father embraces him, not only does the father forgive him, but he fully restores him to his sonship. He did not. The prodigal son did not come home and become a slave or just a servant, but he was a son. And so what I'm realizing for myself is that, wow, Megan, like, you believe that you are just a servant or a slave to the Gospel or a servant to the Lord, but you're not a daughter. And I, and I think, and I'm sure there are plenty of people that could probably identify with this, like, I did not have my dad in my life consistently, right? He was in and out. He was not a consistent father. And as a child, it is so hard to rationalize. Why won't. Why won't you. Why aren't you not here with me? Why are you not here at my games? Right? Why? And I've talked about this before, and I think as a child, the only logical thing that makes sense to you in the moment is that something's wrong with you. And so for me, because I don't really know what it's like to be just a daughter to a father, that. That has shaped the context of how I look at my heavenly Father. And so I can be his servant. I can be his slave. I can do, do, do, do, do. Because I believe he's good. I believe he's just. I believe he's kind. I know how he's redeemed me. I feel indebted to him. But be his daughter, just sit at his feet. It's like this Mary and Martha thing where it's like, what was it? Mary sitting at the feet and Martha's running around doing all the things. I feel like I'm the Martha and I'm just doing all the things. But to just sit at his feet and just be a child, to just be loved by him and, and, and I guess for me, I'm learning that it's not so much like as we are bec. As we grow in our faith and as we are growing in our walk with the Lord that, you know, when the Lord saved me, it wasn't hard for me to walk away from certain things. It wasn't hard for me to stop having sex. It wasn't hard for me to not masturbate. It wasn't hard for not, you know, cuss or. Like, those things weren't hard for me. Because when you see him and you see his holiness and you see how good he is and. And he radically rescues you, like, there's something that happens to you that you just don't turn back. Right? It's kind of like when Paul. When Paul encounters the Lord, we don't see Paul take time. He immediately goes into the. Into preaching. He immediately is in ministry. He immediately starts to pursue the Lord and proclaim his goodness and proclaim that Christ is the Messiah, the one that is, was and is and is to come. Like, he starts to preach that it does not take him that much time when you really encounter the Lord. Now, I'm not saying that there's not a sanctification process, because there is. There are some things that take time, but there are. But it. It's like you. Once you see him, it's like I don't. It's not hard for me to turn away from these things because I'm. My eyes have been so fixed on him. I'm so in awe of him. I can't look anywhere else. He's that good, right? That's what happens. But they're so there. So it's not so much of just the sin. The. The things that we might put into the sin box. Cussing this. That, you know, sex, all the things, whatever. But there is this problematic thing that we also have to be aware of, and it's knowing that he loves you and that what he did on the cross was personal. That was for you. I. I know. For me, I struggle with thinking that the Lord loves Megan. I believe that he's loving. I believe that he's kind. I believe that he's just. I believe that he is good and merciful and all the things. But sometimes I have a very hard time believing that he is those things. For me, personally, that he is a present help for Megan, that He is a comforter to Megan. Sometimes that's hard for me to believe. And in that, I'm noticing that I'm centering myself too much and not centering Christ sometimes because our hearts are deceitful. You have to learn to preach the gospel to your heart because your heart is deceitful. So it will, it will try to tell you things. Like, you have to learn to speak to your heart and tell your heart, hey, listen, what Jesus did on the cross was for, for me, that he loves me, right? There's a, There's a scripture in John 3:1, okay? See what great love the Father has given us that we should be called God's children and we are. The reason the world does not know us is that it didn't know Him. Dear friends, we are God's children now. And what we will be has not yet been revealed. We know when he appears, we will be like him because we will see him as he is. And everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure. And so that scripture had to be. I had to be reminded of that. It's like, not only does he call us, not only are we his servants, but he calls us his children. Like, Megan, you are his daughter. And though, and even though you didn't have, like, Even though I didn't have the experience of this loving father daughter relationship where I sat on my dad's lap and he told me I was beautiful and he told me I was doing a great job and he loved me and he corrected me in love and that he guided me and I didn't have that, but I do have that in my Heavenly Father. And sometimes I do believe that it can be problematic to not to serve the Lord and do all the things correctly, but not believe that he loves you. And that's where, I guess that's where I was at all, you know, that whole time leading up to, leading up to Acts, the two weeks leading up to Acts and then leading up to Haley's conference and he quits. And I just, you know, there was a moment, like I said, I said, I just sat up and I was just like, no, like, he loves me. He's restored me. He saved me. Like, I think about. And you guys should really read this story in Hosea Hosea. I think it's Hosea 3, where Hosea is a prophet and God tells Hosea to marry Gomer. Is it Gomar or Gomer? And he tells, he tells him to marry her and he tells him that she is an adulteress. Like she, like she's an adulteress. And the children are going to be adulter. Like they're. She's a promiscuous woman, right? And it's interesting because the prophets, because of who they. Because of the law. I mean, Gomer couldn't have been a prostitute when, when Hosea met her, because that wouldn't have been permitted. So God is telling him, you're going to marry this woman and she's going to cheat on you. She's going to love other men. She's gonna love other things more than you. She's going to step out on you consistently. She's. She's just gonna keep doing it, right? And then in Hosea. Let me get to it, Hosea 3. So in Hosea 2, God is talking about forgiving the adultery ways of Israel, right? And he's setting this all up. And then in chapter three, he says, the Lord said to me, go again, show love to a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Just as, just as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turned to other gods and love raising cakes. So I bought her for 15 shekels of silver and five bushes of barley. I said to her, you are to live with me many days. You must not be promiscuous or belong to any other man, and I will act the same way towards you. Think of, I think people read this and, and I don't think you think, Think about how powerful this is. It's probably one of the most powerful scriptures to me in the Bible, because here you have Hosea, who is a prophet, that God is telling him, go buy back what is already yours. This isn't just about Jose and Gomer, but this is about what Jesus did for us. He purchased with his blood, with his life, what was already his. Think about that. This is, this is a prophet. Hosea is a prophet. And he goes to the marketplace where they're selling women, they're selling these, these women as slaves. He goes a prophet. So he has stature, he has status, and he goes to the marketplace to purchase what is his. Think about that. So when people, so when people criticize me online and they say stuff like, oh, you know, she just, she's just trying to use the Christian industry and, and try to capitalize off the Christian industry or whatever, she's hiding behind her, her faith, and all of a sudden now she's a Christian. Let me, let me, let me, let me help all of you who think that I've always been a Christian. Have I? Have I, Have I turned away from the Lord several times? Yes, absolutely. But what, what I am, what I am experiencing and what I have experienced and encountered of the Lord has been so real that that's why there has been such A major shift. And what you came to notice me as when I first came on the scene. Yes, it might seem drastic to some, but I'm pretty sure it was drastic to the Jews when Paul showed up to be their brother and not their prosecutor. I'm pretty sure that was drastic. I'm pretty sure it was drastic to all the other fishermen, when Peter dropped his net and started to become a fisher of men. I'm pretty sure that was drastic. I'm pretty sure it was drastic when everyone in. In the king's home saw that the prodigal son was fully restored to his sonship. Yes, yes, the Lord does drastic things. And it may seem drastic to you, but that's what happened on the cross. It was drastic. He saved us in such a serious way. And when you really come to that knowledge, when you really see what he has done, when you see that he bought you back and you didn't deserve it, Gomer didn't deserve Hosea. And yet the Lord tells him, go again. Go get her again. It wasn't the first time. Go get her again. And that's what the Lord does. He keeps pursuing us. He keeps pursuing us and pursuing us, and he's relentless in his love, in his pursuit towards us. And yes, when you encounter that, there is a drastic shift. And I feel like in that moment in London, I was just reminded of all of these things. I just love him and I want to serve him and I want to do a better job at not just serving him, but actually sitting at his feet and being his daughter and accepting his love. Like the Lord wants an intimate relationship with us. So how is it that we can say that we love him but don't believe that he loves us back? That's not real intimacy. And I feel like the Lord was con. Has been constantly reminding me, number one, he's been killing my pride and showing me that a lot of the things that I have become accustomed to in the way that I think is. Has. Has been this way of producing pride in me where I'm centering myself too much and, and in all the things, and not centering him enough in all the things, number one. And number two, learning how to just accept that he loves me. And that even in these. In these times of, like, spiritual drought, even in these times where you feel like his manifested presence isn't there, that that is not the time to pull away from him, but that is the time to lean into him even more and be honest about what you're feeling, even if you don't know what to say. If you don't know what to say and you're like, I don't even have it in me to pray, then I was listening to Tim Keller this morning, and I thought this was so good that he was like, then talk to the Lord about that. Talk to him about how you don't feel his presence and how much you want to. Talk to him about how much you miss feeling Him. Talk to him about how frustrated you are. Talk to him about how you're struggling to believe that he is your father and that you are his son or daughter and that he loves you. Like, talk to him, tell him, be honest. This isn't the time to shrink back and pull away from him. This is the time to lean into him even more, to abide to remain in him. That. That is what I'm learning. That is. That is literally what I'm learning. And I never want to present myself as some type of, you know, spiritual wisdom. Like, whatever. Like, I want. I want you to hear this podcast, and I want you to hear your fellow sister, your fellow friend in the faith that is experiencing things, and that you feel that you're not alone in this and that you're encouraged that we're like. Like, I'm in this thing with you. I can speak with authority and speak with power, but it is not by. It is not by my might nor by my power, but by the spirit of God. Right. It. But. But I'm also human, and I. And I struggle in ways too. All right, guys, this episode is brought to you by Glorify, the number one Christian daily devotional app. Do you want to grow in your relationship with God but don't know how? Or maybe you find yourself opening the Bible with no idea where to start? I get it. I've been there. Luckily, that's where Glorify comes in. Glorify is the number one Christian daily devotional app. With Glorify, you can start your morning by reading the Bible passes of div into Glorify's daily devotional and wrapping up with an immersive experience called Daily Walk with God. And if you need to take a few minutes to yourself in the middle of a busy day, try one of Glorify's guided meditations or listen to a curated worship playlist for some quiet reflection to end the day. Enjoy Glorify's sleep meditation to help you wind down and put your mind and heart at ease. 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Some desires that I've had that have caused me to feel this way, right? Or that have caused my heart to esteem other things over the Lord. And then there's this, this acknowledgment and awareness to preach the gospel to your own heart, right? But he, like the psalmist says, like, my God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you far from me? Why are you so far from my deliverance, from my words of groaning, My God, I cry by day. And you do not answer, like all of this in this Psalms. I feel like I genuinely felt before Acts and after Acts. But this is the part that is encouraging to me, is that around verse 25, it says, I will give praise in a great. In the great assembly because of you, I will fulfill my vows before those who fear you. The humble will eat and be satisfied. Those who seek the Lord will praise him. May your hearts live forever. All the ends of the earth will remain and turn to the Lord. All the families of the nations will bow down before you. For. For kingship belongs to the Lord. He rules the nations. All who prosper on earth will eat and bow down. All those who go down to the dust will kneel before him. Even the one who cannot preserve his life. Their descendants will serve him. The next generation will be told about the Lord. They will come and declare his righteousness to the people yet to be born. They will declare what he has done. There's a. There's something to be said about learning how to sit in some spiritual drought or some spiritual dryness and be. And be aware of it, right? And be, I guess, real about it. Like, okay, I don't feel the Lord being honest about how you feel, being vulnerable and transparent about how you feel towards the Lord, but then coming to a place where you start to preach the gospel to yourself, that you start to preach the gospel to your own heart. And I love this. I love Psalms 22 because it's showing us how to be honest, but also how to remain. The psalmist is like accusing the Lord like, where are you? You've abandoned me. And we know by his. By God's word, the Lord will never leave us or forsake us, right? So the psalmist is accusing the Lord of not being there. And that may seem sinful, but he's also talking to God. He's not accusing God to someone else. He's accused. He's. He's talking to God about how he feels. He's being honest. So I would encourage you one to be honest about how you feel. If you are a Christian, you are going to experience some spiritual dryness, a spiritual drought. It is going to happen. I would be irresponsible to not warn you that hey, if you've just given your life to the Lord, if you've been watching in totality for the last year or for the last few months and you've given your life to Christ and you haven't experienced this yet, I want to let you know that you will experience this. We all do. Be honest with God. Talk to him. Be real with him. It's okay to tell him, hey, I feel like you've left me. That's okay. It's okay to take a moment of accountability and self awareness and say, okay Lord, we'll search my heart. Let me, let me do some self examination. Maybe, maybe I have put more trust into other things and not the Lord. Maybe I've cared more about what people, how a people steam me more than I care about what the Lord says about me. Maybe I've cared too much about the followers and the content. Let me help you content your you Christian content creators. Let me help you. If you are getting to a place where your intimacy with the Lord is so that you can produce content, you're in error. It's time to take a step back and recalibrate. It's time to, to refocus. Let your into. Let your, your content flow from an overflow of what your intimacy had. Like let it come from an overflow of your intimacy with the Lord. But don't go to the Lord and spend time with him just so that you can create. So you have content to create. Right? So be honest. Be aware and accountable. Search your Ask the Lord to search your heart and then remember to center Christ. Remember to preach the gospel to your own self. Remember to remind yourself of what he calls you. Don't. Me and Jackie were talking about this the other day because I was like, I will, I will repeat so many things that I have done wrong and like, oh, God has left me. He's mad at me and da da da da. But I will never repeat that. Like he delights in me that no weapon formed against me shall prosper. That he calls me lovely, that if he cares for the birds and the animals. Like, how much more will he care for me that his thoughts about me outnumber the grains of the state? Like, I don't repeat those things to myself enough. And so let me encourage you that if you, if you've experienced this, or if you are in a spiritual drought, or if it hasn't come yet, it will remind yourself of God's word. Preach the gospel to your own heart. Your heart is deceitful and your heart has to be checked sometimes. Most times, all the time. Check it. No, no, no heart. That's enough. We're done accusing. We're done. We're done accusing ourselves. Were going to speak God's truth and repeat it over and over again. And so, yeah, that's. That's basically just where I'm at right now. That's what I was experiencing. London was so powerful and, and what happened that night was amazing. And, you know, God was just so kind and showing up. I led my first altar call in London. I've never let an altar call before. And I just felt like it was time for us to really, like, you know, Romans 12. Give God our reasonable service by presenting ourselves as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to him, turning away from. From the things of the world and looking to him, and not just doing all the things and being the servant, but also being sons and daughters and allowing the Lord to love on us, pour into us, to sit at his feet, to be honest with him, to lament and then to be strengthened and to go back out and continue to confess and profess the name of Jesus and spreading the gospel and making disciples, all of that, and not allowing the enemy to intimidate us with spiritual dryness. In those seasons of spiritual dryness, don't allow the enemy to intimidate you with past, of the fact, the or facts of the past. Don't allow him to intimidate you with that. Remind yourself that in Christ you are a new creature, that he loves you, that he's called you and that he's called you to do good works. He saved us to do good works because he loves us. He's a loving, caring, faithful God. And so I pray that this encourages you. As we're going into the holiday season, I want you to be reminded of this maybe because for some people, some holiday seasons aren't that joyful. I want to acknowledge that for. For everyone, it's not that easy. I know. For me, I love the holidays. I love. I love being with my family. It is my favorite time of the year. But I also understand that for some people, this is a hard season. Maybe you lost someone recently or maybe you've lost someone around this holiday time and it's hard to. To be joyful during the holidays because you're reminded of things that you've lost. Maybe you feel alone in this season and on top of that, you don't feel that God's manifested presence is with you. Maybe you're in a spiritual drought and, and just the. How the idea of the holidays may be hard for you. I just want to encourage you to be honest with the Lord. Search your heart. Ask the Lord to search your heart. Repent of any sins. Right? Do all your due diligence, but then preach the gospel to your heart. Get in this book. Know it. Know the consistent nature of God and preach this to yourself. To yourself. You preach it to you. I know you think the podcast is. Is enough or the tick tock is enough. It's not. I'm so grateful that you listen to this podcast, but I pray I am. I am doing a disservice if this is. If, if this is enough for you. If I'm not encouraging you to, to end this episode and then get in the book, I'm doing you a disservice. Get in this book and learn how to preach the gospel to your heart, to yourself. Know that God loved you, loves you, and that he saved you, because he loves you. Not just to use you. He doesn't need you. Even that is pride. He doesn't need you. But he delights in using us. He delights in using us and, and, and allowing us to help draw people closer to Him. He delights in that. And so, yeah, I hope this episode is helpful for you guys again. Please make sure you go check out my website where the merch is. Where the merch is live now. I pray that there are some pieces left for you. We got beanies, we got snapbacks, we got crewnecks, we got hoodies, we got T shirts all professing Christ. All Christ centered. All Scripture centered all the things. Yeah. And so I just hope that you guys love the merch. I hope that you get it and I hope to see you back next week. Week for another episode. See you. Sorry, I'm back again because I keep forgetting the journal prompt. I didn't even do one last week with Jackie. I don't think. Oh, I'm so sorry. Okay, journal prompt for this week. How. Oh, gosh, what's a good journal prompt for this week? I would just. I guess examine like have I been in a spiritual drought? And what does it look like to preach the gospel to myself? Do I know the gospel? What is the gospel? Those are your general prompts for this week. Have I been in a spiritual drought? Am I prepared for spiritual A spiritual drought? Because we all will experience it, right? And. And do I know the gospel so that I am able to preach it to my own heart? That is your journal prompt for this week. I love you guys. I'll see you next week. Hey you guys, before you go, I just wanted to say how grateful I am for your love and support. If you've enjoyed this episode, please take a moment and share it with a friend or a family member. If you could do me one huge favor, head over to Apple Podcasts and leave a five star rating and a heartfelt review. It helps others just like you discover the podcast. You guys, let's continue to spread the inspiration. For more about me and the podcast, visit www.themeganashley. com. Until next time, stay encouraged that you are so valued and so loved.