← In Totality with Megan Ashley
In Totality with Megan Ashley
EP 64: Navigating Faith in Seasons of God's Presence and Silence
00:38:36
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- [00:02]
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- [00:30]
Megan Ashley
Hey, guys, welcome back to another episode. Listen, have you noticed that on your journey with the Lord that you've experienced these, like, high consolation seasons where you're, like, feeling his manifest presence, and then all of a sudden, or maybe not all of a sudden, but over some time, you're like, I'm still walking with the Lord. I'm doing all the things. And then you kind of go through a t. Desolation season where you don't feel his manifest present. Well, this episode is for you. Listen, I'm going to kind of talk you through what I've experienced in that and then maybe some ways that can help us remember who he is and to continue to stay disciplined even when we're in those desolation seasons. So I hope you enjoy this episode. Get ready. Maybe get a pen, paper. I'll write some stuff down. This might be helpful for you, but here we go. Get ready to join this conversation between you and I. This is me and you. Enjoy the episode. What's up, you guys? Welcome back to another episode. I am your host, Megan Ashley. Listen, I want to talk to you guys today about something that I just think is important. You guys know I. Number one, I love you, right? I love. I love you guys. I love that you tune in every week. And my heart is always to make sure that I'm stewarding this platform well. I want it to honor the Lord, and I want it to serve his people in a way that draws them closer to him, right? And a part of that is being transparent is being vulnerable and being honest. Right? And so today, I kind of want to talk to you guys about the. The spiritual journey in our faith, what that journey looks like. As you guys know, I talked a lot about this at the end of. Of our first season of in totality, towards the end of 2024. I talked about, like, just having. Being in a space where I'm like, man, I don't. I don't know where I feel like he's not speaking to me. Where is he? You know, is something wrong with me? Am I in sin? Did I do something? I'm just not feeling the Lord in the way that I once did, or he's not speaking in the way that he once did. And, and that can be, you know, that can feel discouraging. And a lot of you have been on this journey with me, and maybe you've experienced this, but I was reading through Relaxed, as you guys know, that that was the book that I. That I was reading at the beginning of the year and at the end of 2024 and going into 2025. And there's a part in her book where she talks about consolation and desolation. And I'm. I'm so grateful for this part in this. In this study as I was going through the book because it brought so much language to a lot of the. The space that I was in at that time. Again, you guys know, like, we. We did an amazing conference. And, and at the point of preparing for that conference, the month of the conference, I felt like I was going downhill. In my. In my experience, the manifested presence of the Lord, I felt like, was going like this. Like I wasn't feeling him as strongly or as intensely as I once did. And again, that, that, that cycle kind of continued going through the end of. Of last year, going into this year. And as I was reading this and in the book, relax it, like, again, it brought so much language to it, and I kind of just wanted to talk to you guys about it and prayerfully, even encourage you. Is that this, you know, the journey of our faith. And as we are going on this walk with the Lord, it is a journey. You know what I mean? It is a process. And I know when you first encounter the Lord, like, it's. You're up, right? It's like, oh, man, this is amazing. You're. You're kind of like at the height of your zeal, you're just like, man, this is awesome. And you're. You're. You're having these encounters. You're opening His Word, and it's. I mean, you. At that point, it's like, you know, even more that His Word is alive and breathing. And. And then you keep walking with the Lord and you keep walking with the Lord, and then there comes a point where you go in a different direction, and it almost feels like, where is He? Did he leave me? Where. Where is God? And again, this is described as consolation and desolation. The consolation is when you encounter the Lord and it's his manifest presence. It's like, you can. You can, you know, that you can feel the Lord. You feel his presence. You feel spirit. You're like, oh, this. Like, I know the Lord is with me. You're praying and you can hear him speaking, and he's showing you things in his Word and he's giving you dreams and visions and all the things. And you just want to stay there. I know me, I just want to stay there. I just want to stay in that space. And then as you continue to grow, you continue to mature, and as that happens, there comes a point where, of. Of desolation, where you, where you feel like man. His presence isn't here. I don't feel him as strongly as I felt him when I first encountered him. And I just want you to know that that is completely normal. It's completely normal. I'm not saying that you shouldn't maybe do some evaluation and do some inventory checks, check your heart, you know, but if you're, if you're con. If you're staying consistent with your spiritual disciplines and you're going to the Lord, you're reading the Word, you're staying in community, you're praying, you're fast, you're doing all your spiritual disciplines, you're going to gatherings and fellowshipping, you're doing all the things right, and you still are in the space of feeling like God. I just do not feel your presence. I want to encourage you that. Listen, that's normal. So let me just help you and maybe give you some ease. That. That is completely normal. The spiritual journey isn't a spiritual journey that's constantly on the decline or on the incline. Right? It's a journey. So you're going to have some. You're going to have some highs and your. What feels like highs and what feels like lows. And over time, your, Your perception of that will change. It won't feel like a high and low. It will just feel like a journey. It will feel like, oh, there, there are times where I feel his manifested presence very thick and tangibly and, and strong. And then there are times where I don't. And this is why you have to know God's word and cling to it, because it's true. His Word is true. And he says he's never gonna leave you or forsake you. I just wanna pause there and tell you that. That's the thing. He's never going to leave you or forsake you. So if you feel like, man, I've been in a season, I've been in a, in a. In a time right now, in some weeks, Some months where I just do not feel God. I want to remind you of his word, that he says that he will never leave you nor forsake you. He's right where you are. He's with you. He sees you. He loves you. And, and let me. And let me even just add this in there. He's interceding for you. He's moving and doing something. It may not be again in the way that you want it to be, but he loves you and he's with you. I know for me, it's. It's. It's really hard to be on. In the cycle of desolation on that. On that part of the cycle. It's very hard for me. I am, you know, growing and still maturing. And you know how, like, when you're in a relationship, when, When. When people are in relationships where they're really immature, right? What do they do? They're needy, clingy, right? The Lord wants us to be needy. He wants us to be dependent on Him. But listen, you have to know that even if he's not giving you the attention that you want in the way that you want it, know gaze is still on. You know that his eyes are still fixed on you. He sees you, he loves you. He's with you. It just may not be in the way that you want it to be. But that's the beauty about growing and maturing in the Lord, right? I. I kind of look at it like this. I have three kids. I have Eli, who's my Otis, Caleb, who is my middle son, and I have Jonah, who's my youngest. When Eli was a baby and he was the only child, all of our attention was on him. We, you know, what we did. All of our attention was on him. He was the only one. And then Caleb came, and then he had to start sharing the attention, right? And then Jonah came and he really had to share because now you have two. Two younger brothers. My love for Eli did not change. It always remained. There is nothing from the moment those kids took their first breath, not even their first breath, from the moment I knew that they were placed in my womb, there is nothing that could make me love them more. They were mine and I love them. And there's nothing that they could do to make me love them less. And there is nothing that they could do to make me love them more. My love for them remained, right? But as Eli starts getting older, the attention wasn't in the way that it was when he was a baby. When babies, when they're. When babies are little, you know, you have to be mindful of them. You can't just leave them alone. They might get into something, right? They might roll off the couch. They might try to poke something into a sock. Like, you have to be so. Might put something in their mouth. You have to be so might. Their attention is on them. And you're. And you're just, oh, my baby. You all the. All the little baby talk. My baby, my kissy kissy. All this stuff, right? And as they get older, it looks different. The love doesn't change, but it does look different, right? And that's kind of how it is with the Lord there. Let me tell you. There's nothing that you can do to make him love you more or make you love. Make him love you less. Nothing. Okay, do me a favor. Go to Romans 8:39. Just so you know that I'm not just saying it to make you feel good. I'm telling you because it's truth. Right? This is. Okay. Romans 8:38. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, no heights, nor depths, nor anything or any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God. Think about that. He could have just said, nothing can separate us from the love of God. But he makes a emphasis on like, nothing. No angels, no rulers, no powers, no height, no death, depth, no created thing. Nothing. There's not one thing that can separate God's love from you. Nothing. And so even. Even when you are in this space where you're like man, I'm not feeling God's manifested presence. Don't let the enemy convince. Convince you that because of what you're feeling that his love isn't with you. He loves you. And there's nothing that you can do. There's nothing that can happen that will separate you from that love. It's present with you. Because I know, I don't know if you're like me. There have been times where I'm like man. Like, is God mad at me? Does he not love me? That type of mentality will start to put you into a works mode. Or I'm just going to keep. I'm going to do more. I'm going to do more. I'm going to do more so that I can feel God's love more, so that he'll love me more again. There's nothing you can do to make him love you more or make him love you less, right? This is just part. This is just part Of, Of. Of the spiritual journey is that you're gonna. You're gonna feel his manifested president, and then there's gonna be times where you don't. And in that, I'll talk. I. I'll just share my personal. I'll be vulnerable and share my personal experience with this. For me, I get an attitude when I'm on that des. When I'm experiencing the desolation of my. Of my spiritual journey and walk where I'm going to the Lord. I'm praying, and I'm still not hearing him, and I'm still not experiencing his manifest presence. I'm like, man, like, what is it for then? What is it for? I'm praying. I'm. I'm doing the things right. I'm. I'm not. I'm. I'm. I'm living a consecrated life. I'm not doing stuff I shouldn't be doing. I'm going to church. I'm watching the podcast. I'm. I'm listening to sermons, and I'm still not feeling God's manifest presence. I'm still feeling like I'm. I'm missing Him. What's the common thing in what I'm saying? Listen to what I'm saying. This is how the Lord checked me. He's like, listen to what you're saying. What's the common thing in what you just said? You. I. I want. I. Me. Me. God is. God is maturing us in that. In those desolation seasons and that part of the cycle. Understand that God is maturing you that you are not in this to feel anything. But you're in this because he's holy. You're in this because he's righteous. You're in this because that's what he deserves. He deserves that. He deserves the intimate time that you spend with Him. He deserves for you to live a consecrated life. That's what he deserves. But if you're constantly going into this so that you can feel something, so that you can have a word, so that you can have something to go back and be like, oh, yeah, my time with the Lord. I got a revelation. So that. So you can prop yourself up and boast in you. No, no, no, no, no. Understand that God's word is His Word. He's with you. Right? We are. We. We said that in His Word, he's with you. Nothing can separate you from his love. He said, he'll never leave you nor forsake you. And you should want to be intimate with the Lord and spend intimate time with Him. Just because that's what he deserves. Because he's good. This is this in. In this part of the cycle, the spiritual journey, that desolation cycle. When you're in that, that. That really proves what you said the last time he got you out of a hard time where you said, God, if you get me out of this and you never do a thing, I will. I will praise you, I will serve you. I will give my. If you do nothing else. Well, in these seasons where you're on this desolation, downward hill cycle, this is where you get to really make that true. What if you never feel all the feels? Does that make him less worthy? Does that make him less, less deserving? No, he's God and He's good all the time. Before you were ever placed on this earth, he was good. He is good. He is God. In the beginning, God, he didn't change. He was holy then, he's holy now. And he'll forever be holy and forever be deserving. And so don't get discouraged in these cycles. And then when you come up, listen, if you learn how to submit and you learn how to remain disciplined in the desolation cycle, right? And you don't waver, you don't come off your post. You get on that altar, and you keep getting on that altar, what does that mean? You keep presenting yourself as a living sacrifice. You keep honoring him in everything that you do. You keep cultivating intimacy with him. You keep reading His Word, you keep loving others. You keep honoring the Lord by honoring other people. You keep serving, you keep going to church. You keep worship all, you do all the things. When you come back up to the consolation part of your cycle, because again, it's a flow. It comes, it goes like this. Sometimes you'll experience the manifest presence of the Lord, and sometimes you won't. But when you get back to feeling his manifest presence, the way that you will experience it with gratitude even more, because you remain faithful. When you didn't, you stayed humble, you stayed committed, you stayed disciplined even when you didn't feel what you wanted to feel. So when you get back to this place of consolation with the Lord, man, you're just overwhelmed with gratitude. You experience it even more than you did before. It's a beautiful thing.
- [19:16]
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- [20:29]
Another thing that I want to help us with is there was a scripture. I think it's in James. James 1. Let me go to it real quick. This was. This was one scripture that came to me when I was thinking about the consolation and desolation season and what can I do to remain faithful? What can I do so that I'm not discouraged, right? In these desolation seasons? So the lord brought James 1:17 on my mind and it says, every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights who does not change like shifting shadows. Every good and perfect thing comes from the Father above. Okay? So when I am in these seasons of like man, I'm not feeling the Lord, I'm not feeling God. This is what happened to me. I'm complaining, God, I'm not feeling you. You're not talking to me, I'm not hearing you. And so I'm just going to pout about it. I'm gonna pout and I'm gonna woe is me. I'm gonna center myself in this and I'm gonna say, woe is me, right? Pride, selfishness. And the Lord brought this scripture to my mind and I had to start taking inventory of the good that I was experiencing every single day. The Lord challenged me and said, I want you to take inventory of the good that you're experiencing every single day. The good that aligns with my word, right? Not what you perceive as good, but the good that that aligns with God's word. What. What is that good that you're experiencing? And then tell me you're not experiencing me. I'm like, what do you mean? Well, every good and perfect thing comes from God, comes from the Father above. So I had to. By taking inventory of those things and looking and saying, okay, what are the good things that I've experienced? In those good things, I had to learn how to practice praise. So if you are in a cycle where you feel like I'm not experiencing God's manifest presence, I want you to do me a favor and practice praise. Take inventory of the good that you are experiencing, and then praise God for it. Praise him for it. So for you moms, are there any moms that, like, pull up really early because you don't want to be at the back of the line? That's me. I'm pulling up and I'm like, 30 minutes before time, just so that I don't have to be all the way in the back, right? But for those 30 minutes, if you're like me and you like being in your car, those 30 minutes of just quiet. Those 30 minutes of you being able to catch up on your. Your favorite podcast or being able to read the rest of that chapter that you didn't get to last night or to finish the sermon that you didn't get to finish the other day, that's a good thing. And so stop thinking that there is anything too small to give God glory for. To give him praise. For the Bible says in Psalms. Where is this at? Psalms 30, Psalms 34, Psalms 34. 1. I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise will always be on my lips. Again, the Bible doesn't exaggerate, guys. I will bless the Lord. I know the song is great, and we sing it. I will bless the Lord. Bless the Lord at all times. We sing it all the time, right? It sounds good to sing it, but it's real hard to live it. It's not. It's. It. That's something that you have to be in practice of. So I'm in practice of especially, and I'm saying, whether you're in a constellation or a desolate, it doesn't matter. But especially if you're on that desolation part of your. Part of your journey and walk with the Lord. You have to learn how to practice praise. Take inventory of all the good. You woke up, God. I thank you for waking me up. I thank you for giving me breath in my lungs. Your children woke up, God. Thank you for my children who are alive and breathing. You got out of your bed, God, thank you for this bed that I have somewhere to lay my head. You woke up In a warm home. God, thank you for this warm home. Every good and perfect thing comes from him. Your children run and give you a hug. Take a second, hold them tighter for just a moment and thank God. God, thank you for this love that is pure, for this child that you've entrusted to me. Thank you. Yes, they might get on your nerves, but they're a gift that came from Him. God, thank you for this gift. Practice praise. The Bible says, I will bless the Lord at all times. Not, I will bless the Lord when it's convenient and when he's doing what I want him to do. I will bless him at all times. And his praise shall continuously be on my lips. I'm always going going to be praising God. I'm going to be praising the Lord all the time. His praises are always on my lips. No matter what situation I'm in, no matter what circumstances I'm in, whether I'm in a consolation part of my cycle or a desolation part, I'm going to practice praise. I'm going to praise him because he's worthy and he's good. I'm telling you, practice it even when you go into your prayer time. Especially again, especially if you're in this desolation season. Go into your prayer time and just praise him. Don't ask him for anything yet. Praise him. See if you can just go until you feel like you're about to run out of things to say. Run out. I'm telling you, can never run out of things to praise him for, but just keep doing it. God, praise you for my home. I praise you for means of transportation. I praise you for my family. I praise you for my friends. God, I praise you for my church. I praise you, you for. For that podcast that gave me that word that encouraged me the other day. Do me a favor. Praise him for who he is. Go in your word and find all of the attributes and the. The nature of God and praise him for. For just for being him. I praise you, God, because you're trustworthy. I praise you, God, because you're a provider. I praise you, God, because you are a good shepherd. I praise you, God, because you sent your only son to die for me. I praise you, God, that you hold back the wrath and you extend your mercy to me daily. God, I praise you because you're generous. I praise you because you're kind. God. I praise you because you're patient. You cannot run out of things to praise him for. That's why it says his praises shall continuously be on my lips. There's always something to praise him for. Regardless of how you feel. Practice it. Practice taking inventory of the good that is happening. Because what you focus on is the context of how you see your. Your life. If I only focus on the bad part. If I only focus on. I'm not feeling God's manifest presence, so that means he must not love me or do. If I only focus on that, then that's going to shape my context. But. But if I remember to praise the Lord at all times, and I remember all that he's done and I remember who he is, I'm. I'm never going to run out of things to say. You guys, I. Again, I don't want to set you up. I don't want to be that person that's like, oh, yeah, give your life to Christ and everything's going to be great. And it's going to be how it was that day you first got on the altar. It's going to be like that every single time. The day you said yes to the Lord, it's going to be like that every. It's going to be like that all the time. That first few months of being a Christian, it's going to be like that all the time. No, it's not. It's not. But it also doesn't change who he is and what he's deserving of. Don't let that time of desolation cause you to move away from the Lord. That's the time that you have to lean more into Him. That's the time that you have to be vigilant and be like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna. Man, I'm gonna be on my face even more. I'm gonna read this word even more. I'm going to sing of his praises even more. It's a game changer. Because if you really think about it, what's keeping you from doing that? I'm sure if you were honest, you would realize that it's you. You're centering yourself way too much in your relationship with him when he's got to be the center. Not you, not your feelings, not what you're comfortable with, not what you think or how you think it should go. But again, not my will, Lord. Your will, Whatever you say, lean in to your spiritual disciplines. Lean more like, lean into it. Don't allow the desolation parts of your. Or this desolation seasons. Don't let those things draw you away from the Lord. Because he says, if you abide in Me, I will abide with you he will abide. He will be with you. Remember, he will never leave you or forsake you. He's with you even in the desolation season. He's with you and he loves you and he's for you, interceding for you. I don't want you to be discouraged. I want you. And I pray after hearing this episode. I pray that you are encouraged if you find yourself in a desolation season. I know for me, it encouraged me to practice praise. Something started to happen where I. Oh, man, joy. I started to experience more joy by just simply praising who he is and remembering all that he's done. It changes everything. It really does. So maybe take a little time, some inventory, and just say, where am I? Am I on a my. On the constellation part of my. Of a season? Or am I on a desolation part? Where am I? And then practice taking inventory of the good, remembering that every good and perfect thing comes from. From the Father down. From the Father above coming down. Right? And then practice putting praise on your lips, no matter where you are, no matter what the circumstances are. There's so many. There are so many psalms where you will see David lamenting to the Lord. I don't know what scripture it is specifically. It's. It's. I say it's one of my favorite, just because I know it in my mind. I don't know its exact location, but I'm gonna just read it because maybe. Maybe that will be more helpful. So. Psalm 77. I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me. I sought the Lord in my day of trouble. My hands were continually lifted up all night long. I refuse to be comforted. I think of God. I groan. I meditate. My spirit becomes weak. You have kept me from closing my eyes. I am troubled and cannot sleep. I consider days of old years long past. At night I remember my music. I meditate in my heart, and my spirit ponders the Lord. Reject forever and never again show favor. Has his faithful love ceased forever? Is his promise at it end for all generations? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger, withheld his compassion? So I will say, I am grieved that the right hand of the Most High has changed. I will remember. Here's the thing. I will remember the Lord's work. Yes, I will remember your ancient wonders. I will reflect on all you have done and meditate on your actions. I'm just going to stop it there because. Psalm 77, 1:10. I think we can all say if you've been walking with the Lord for a little bit. You know that you've experienced that God, where are you? Have you. Are you done showing favor? Are you done speaking? Are you done being faithful? Have you. Have you forgotten to be gracious? Have you had that time with the Lord where you're just listen. That's how the desolation cycles can be. Where are you? Where's your. Where's your generosity? Where's your. Your love? Where's your. Where are you? And then what happens? There's a pause. It says Selah, right? To pause and ponder. To pause and calmly think on. He says, so I will remember the Lord's works. I will reflect on all you've done and meditate on your actions. That's what you have to do in those seasons of desolation. You have to remember. Remember who he is. Remember all he's done. Reflect on it, meditate on it. Think on it over and over and over again. And even if you have or run out of your own experience, here's this amazing book filled with God's history that you can meditate on. You can think back of how he created heaven and earth and how he created all things and how he parted the Red Sea and how He. You can. There's so much that you can meditate on. Remember who he is and what he's done. Don't forget, especially when you're not feeling his manifest presence. You just have to remember who he is and meditate on that. Don't meditate on the fact that you're not experiencing what you want to experience from him, but just met, because that centers you. But meditate on who he is because that centers him and that's where he wants to be. He wants to be in the center all the time, in every way. This season we're constantly just going to be drilling in living sacrifice. That means I die to myself and I make him sinner. And so no matter how I feel, I remain faithful. Don't beat yourself up and don't let the enemy cause you to pull away from the Lord. He is your heavenly Father who loves you. Lean into that and remember who he is. Pick this up. Read his history. Read who he is. Allow this to encourage you. This word, right? The Bible says this word that I stored in my heart so I don't sin against you. Store it up. Store it up in the consolation season. Store it up in the desolation season. Store it up and remember who he is. Okay, I pray this is helpful for you. Do me a favor. Part of your journal prompt this week. I think it would just be good to take inventory of the good. Take inventory of good things that you're experiencing. Be mindful to take inventory of those things. I don't care what. What your week looks like. Something good is going to happen in your week. Something, whether it's small or big, something good's going to happen. So take inventory of it. And then what does praise look like? And how can I practice praise? Maybe write down some of the ways that God is praiseworthy. How is he praiseworthy? Like, write those things out in your prayer time. I challenge you. Instead of going into the, you know, an intimate time with the Lord and immediately, just like, I need this, I need this. Da, da, da, da. God, help me to take a minute. Offer yourself to him, Lord, here I am. And just go in on praising him. Make it like, sometimes I challenge. Like I'm gonna. I sometimes challenge myself like I'm gonna try to run out of things, and I never end up running out of stuff. I always end up finding more and more reasons to praise him. No matter what's happening in our world, our. Our broad world, or even our personal world, there's always a reason to praise him. There's always a reason to put praise on your lips for the one who is worthy of it all. So I hope this encourages you. If you know someone that might be in a desolation cycle or maybe they're frustrated with where they are with the Lord or what they're experiencing from the Lord, send them this. I think it will be helpful for them and I pray it was helpful for you, and I pray you'll join me back next week right here on In Totality. I love you guys and I'll see you then.
- [39:53]
What's up, you guys? I hope you enjoyed this episode. Thank you so much for listening and I hope you felt encouraged in some way. Be sure to like and follow into Tality podcast everywhere you listen to your favorite shows. Follow into Tality on Apple podcasts or Spotify and be sure to turn on your post notifications so that you can be the first to listen whenever there's a new episode.