EP 70: A Mother's Prayer

Summary

Podcast Summary: EP 70 - A Mother's Prayer

Title: In Totality with Megan Ashley
Host: Megan Ashley
Guest: Yvette (Megan's Mother)
Release Date: May 13, 2025

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Introduction

In this heartfelt Mother's Day episode of "In Totality with Megan Ashley," Megan is joined by her mother, Yvette, to explore the profound journey of motherhood intertwined with faith. This conversation delves into personal struggles, spiritual growth, and the unwavering bond between mother and daughter, all anchored in a deep commitment to living a life wholly devoted to God.

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Early Life and Faith Formation

Yvette’s Background:
Yvette shares her upbringing in Mound Bayou, Mississippi, one of the oldest all-Black towns established post-slavery. She highlights the town’s rich history and her upbringing in a community of educators, which instilled in her a strong sense of responsibility and faith.

Spiritual Awakening:
Despite being raised in an African Methodist Episcopal (AME) church, Yvette felt a deep, natural inclination toward the Holy Spirit and sought a more profound relationship with God. Her spiritual journey intensified after moving to Ohio, where she and Megan's father joined a new church community, leading to her eventual full surrender to the Lord.

Notable Quote:
"I always wanted more [from God], and my heart really wanted to know Him." — Yvette [12:08]

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Motherhood and Personal Struggles

Early Motherhood:
Yvette discusses the challenges of being a young, single mother. After discovering she was pregnant with Megan, she made the difficult decision to leave Megan's father to provide a stable environment for her daughter. This period was marked by intense responsibility and spiritual searching.

Dealing with Anxiety and Fear:
Yvette admits to profound fears and anxieties about Megan’s well-being, especially when Megan was a teenager. She recounts moments of deep concern, such as watching Megan sleep to ensure her safety, and the internal battles she faced, feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising her child alone.

Notable Quote:
"I felt like I couldn't get through. I want you to understand that this is not the time to be hard on her. It's the time to just love her through it." — Yvette [50:08]

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Navigating Mental Health and Spiritual Support

Coping with Depression:
During Megan’s teenage years, Yvette sought help from counselors and psychiatrists to support her daughter through episodes of depression and suicidal thoughts. She reflects on her own struggles with menopause and how hidden personal battles affected her ability to connect fully with Megan during these trying times.

Importance of Community and Accountability:
Yvette emphasizes the necessity of community support and accountability in overcoming personal struggles. She recognizes her own pride as a hurdle and acknowledges the importance of seeking help and maintaining open, honest communication with her children.

Notable Quote:
"You need community so that you could really have people to help you." — Yvette [61:23]

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Lessons in Faith and Relationship with God

Faith as a Foundation:
Faith is presented as the cornerstone of both Yvette’s and Megan’s lives. Yvette describes how her relationship with God guided her through every challenge, offering strength and wisdom. She underscores the importance of prayer, fasting, and reading Scripture to discern God's voice and maintain a close relationship with Him.

Teaching by Example:
Yvette highlights the significance of modeling humility, repentance, and accountability for her children. She shares instances where she had to apologize to Megan, demonstrating vulnerability and teaching her daughter the value of humility and maintaining a Christ-centered life.

Notable Quote:
"Everything I do is guided by a relationship with Him because they belong to Him." — Yvette [38:37]

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Overcoming Adversity Together

Strengthening the Mother-Daughter Bond:
Throughout the episode, Megan and Yvette discuss how their shared faith and mutual support helped them navigate difficult times. Yvette admits to moments of wanting to "fix" Megan but learns to trust God’s plan and support her daughter through prayer and spiritual guidance.

Transformation Through Trials:
Both Megan and Yvette acknowledge that their relationship and individual faith were profoundly shaped by the adversities they faced. Yvette credits God for delivering them from dark times and reinforcing her role as both a mother and a spiritual mentor.

Notable Quote:
"He is a keeper, He is a keeper." — Megan [83:57]

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Conclusion

This episode of "In Totality with Megan Ashley" offers a deep and honest exploration of the complexities of motherhood, mental health, and unwavering faith. Through candid conversations, Megan and Yvette reveal the strength derived from their relationship with God and each other, providing listeners with powerful insights into overcoming life's challenges with grace and spirituality.

Key Takeaways:

• The importance of a strong, faith-based relationship in navigating personal and familial struggles.
• Recognizing and addressing mental health issues with the support of community and professional help.
• Modeling humility, accountability, and repentance as foundational lessons for children.
• Trusting in God’s plan and the power of prayer and Scripture in maintaining spiritual resilience.

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Notable Quotes Recap:

• "I always wanted more [from God], and my heart really wanted to know Him." — Yvette [12:08]
• "I felt like I couldn't get through. I want you to understand that this is not the time to be hard on her. It's the time to just love her through it." — Yvette [50:08]
• "You need community so that you could really have people to help you." — Yvette [61:23]
• "Everything I do is guided by a relationship with Him because they belong to Him." — Yvette [38:37]
• "He is a keeper, He is a keeper." — Megan [83:57]

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This episode serves as a poignant reminder of the enduring power of faith, the complexities of parent-child relationships, and the transformative journey of overcoming adversity through divine guidance and unwavering love.

Transcript

[Yvette]

McCrispy strips are now at McDonald's. Tender juicy and its own sauce. Would you look at that?

[Megan]

Well, you can't see it, but trust.

[Yvette]

Me, it looks delicious. New McCrispy strips now at McDonald's.

[Megan]

What's up, you guys? Welcome back to In Totality. Let me just say Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas out there. Even. Even, you know, I. I kind of hesitate because, you know, it's like, let moms have their day. But there are a lot of people who kind of step into the roles of mothers. If you're a man, I am not talking to you, but I'm talking about the aunties and the grandmas and the. And the big sisters, and I'm talking about the people that kind of come in and. And fill that space. For those who unfortunately may not have a mom want to say happy Mother's Day, this episode is extremely, extremely special because I have. My guest today is. You guys have heard me talk a lot about her. She is the greatest Christian that I know. She is my best friend. She is the person who I trust with all of my life outside of the Lord. It's like, it's her. I mean, it's the Lord, and then it's her. So she's the person who I. Who I trust immensely, who has made me who I am. And I'm super excited to share this special Mother's Day episode with you guys and introduce to you my mom, Yvette. Mama vet.

[Yvette]

Hey, everybody. Nice to be on here, finally.

[Megan]

How do you feel?

[Yvette]

I feel pretty good.

[Megan]

Good. We've been talking about doing this for a long time.

[Yvette]

Yeah.

[Megan]

So it's interesting. We've. We. Me and my mom, we have a. A very tight, tight relationship. Because it's always been us my whole life, because you raised me as a single mom, and so it's always been me and you. And we have. I'll say this. My mother is my favorite person to talk to about the things of the Lord. I can talk to her about. I mean, it doesn't matter what time of day. We will talk all through, every thought, every idea. You know, we'll talk all through it. And she, um. She always matches my energy when it comes to the things of the Lord. So that's my. That's. She's my favorite person to tell you're my favorite person to talk about the things of God. But I'm excited to introduce the. In totality, a lot of them already know you because, you know, the Patreon, the village community, they know you know me.

[Yvette]

Yes.

[Megan]

And because you're always so supportive and you show up for everything, and so. But for those that don't know you, I'm excited that they get to. To be introduced to you. And so I want to kind of talk about who Yvette is. Y, V, E, T, T, E. But Yvette, not Yvette. Right, right.

[Yvette]

It's French, actually. No, there's a town that is named Yvette, and the French pronounce it I. Now, some people like to say Yvette. No, I don't pronounce it Yvette. I don't pronounce it Yvette. Where we from in Mississippi is, Iet Yvette? Most people in the north call me vet.

[Megan]

Yes. Some people say vet, Mama vet, Minister vet. That was. That was the thing. That was your name for years. Minister vet. And we'll go through all that because you are a licensed minister. You have your master's degree in divinity. She is literally like, my mom is a genius. And like, she. She's so smart.

[Yvette]

I'm a theologian.

[Megan]

She's.

[Yvette]

Well, let's say that right now you're.

[Megan]

Like, don't get me in trouble. But she's extremely, extremely smart. And, yeah, that's one thing that I kind of. I wish I had more of. In your jeans. I kind of got my daddy's jeans. I'm a C, Stupid.

[Yvette]

It's not. It's not. It's just because you don't. You didn't want to do it correct, but you had the ability.

[Megan]

I don't know. I failed geometry. Remember when I had. Remember I had to go to geometry?

[Yvette]

Did you pay attention? See, I hear people say that all the time. I failed. But did you go to class and pay attention?

[Megan]

I did go to class.

[Yvette]

Did you pay attention?

[Megan]

Probably not.

[Yvette]

Okay, so you can't say I failed statistics in college because I didn't go. And then when I went. Wait, I didn't go to class that class when I first took it. And then when I took it the second time, didn't even have to take the finals because I had straight A's. But if I had gone to class.

[Megan]

But you are just smart, Mom. You are.

[Yvette]

I came from parents who were educators who didn't play that.

[Megan]

Okay, so let's. So let's go back. So you are from Mississippi.

[Yvette]

I'm from a little town that's famous called Mound Bayou, Mississippi. And it was one of the oldest all black towns established after slavery. Isaiah T. Montgomery was an ex slave whose master taught him how to run the plantation. He and his cousin were given this land by that master to establish a town. And it's one of the oldest ones. We are represented in the African American museum in Washington D.C. every time you.

[Megan]

Go, you're like, make sure you take a picture of the plaque.

[Yvette]

Come on. Cause we are famous. We, you know, we had our own doctors, our own lawyers, our own hospital. I was born in the Taborian Hospital in Mountain Bayou, Mississippi, which you guys will could see on the movie Teal, where she stayed when Emmett Till, his mother went to the trials. They stay in Mississippi and they talk. They kind of give you some of the history of Mount Bayou. And so I'm from that town. It was, you know, they had a cotton gin there years and years ago. It got burned down. A lot of city got burned down. Kind of like in Oklahoma, in Tulsa. Yeah. And so they rebuild and everything. So that's what I was raised under. I was raised in an all black town in the South, Mountain Bayou, Mississippi. Both my parents were teachers there and.

[Megan]

And daddy is scary now. Daddy is.

[Yvette]

Well, my dad was the football coach and the baseball coach, you know, so Anna teacher. So yeah, he was not to play with at all, you know, at all. So I, I was, I lived in a very strict home where I couldn't do much that I was very sheltered for many, many years. And I was the only child for several years as well because my brother and sister didn't come down around till later.

[Megan]

They're closer to 16 years.

[Yvette]

Well, 14, 12 and 14 years. Okay, so Wayne and Jamir are closer to your age than they are my age. Y' all are raising kids together. So I was kind of like an only child for several years, even though Erica was there. My cousin for a while. But my cousins were really like my siblings.

[Megan]

Your siblings?

[Yvette]

Yeah.

[Megan]

And we have a really tight knit family. Which I love about our family is that everyone, you know, all the cousins are like close. Close. Yeah. Like I'm, you know, my aunt Jamil, your sister is really like one of my best friends. She's one of my closest.

[Yvette]

And like your sister.

[Megan]

And my sister too. Yeah.

[Yvette]

Than your aunt.

[Megan]

Yeah. And so I love that about our family is that we're just all like a very tight knit family. Which is, which is interesting to me too because when I go and I experience other people and you know, you come encounter with other people, our family is, you don't see. Kind of it makes you appreciate what, what our family kind of. We have our issues.

[Yvette]

I mean, it does. But I thought most families were like our families even tell. I didn't realize how. How good we had it. But I remember my grandmother on my mama's side. Grandma B. Yeah, Grandma B. And I remember how she said that with her children, her grandchildren, and, and this is before all you came around, but that, you know, she had never been called to the police station or, you know, things like that. And how she made a point to talk about that and it's like, oh, she's right. It is not the norm.

[Megan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Yvette]

And I am. We are very blessed to have the family, you know, we really are. And most people in our family doing pretty good.

[Megan]

Yeah. So tell me about life in Mississippi, growing up in Mount Bayou and how it's kind of shaped who you are as a person. Because you guys moved to Ohio when I was 16. When you were 16. And so moving to Ohio, you meet. You meet my father.

[Yvette]

We were in high school.

[Megan]

Yeah, we're in high school.

[Yvette]

And we didn't go to the same school. It was toward the end of our senior year and I. My dad finally let me get a part, like a little job because other teenagers were working. Daddy, when he didn't want me to do that, but he finally let me get one. We met there at MCL Cafeteria. And we used to call it the Medicare Lounge because all the old people came there to eat. And so your dad was like a busboy and I, I worked on the cash register and looking just like Jonah. Skinny, I mean, 140 some pounds at six three in height. Our senior year. He was very skinny, but we both were. I was 113 pounds, you said.

[Megan]

Period. He wasn't the only one.

[Yvette]

Yeah, I was little too, but I gained a whole lot my freshman year of college. But anyway, we met there. I. I still can remember us having a conversation because his cousin Todd went to my school. So I. We had known each other, but he. We were sitting in the lounge area of mcl and we were talking on a break and I. The. The thing I remember the most about first meeting him, I could not get the spelling of his name right. He kept. I said, say that again. Marbury. What? I said. And he said, it's Marbre M A R B R E Y. I was.

[Megan]

Saying that was my whole life.

[Yvette]

I know. Like, how do you say that? How do you say that? So when we did get married, I thought it was kind of cool to have that last name because it was not common. Yeah.

[Megan]

And so you and dad became really close. Y' all were like best Friends. And you always joke and say we should have stayed friends. Best friends. Because to this day, y' all are still friends. That is still your boy.

[Yvette]

Yep. That boy Will. Will definitely fight somebody over me.

[Megan]

Yes.

[Yvette]

I mean, we're. Yeah.

[Megan]

Yes. And we're cool. Yeah, they're cool. He.

[Yvette]

But we used to fight.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

That's why I left.

[Megan]

Lord Jesus. We don't got to get into that.

[Yvette]

Okay, But I'm just saying, people probably want to know, well, why were you a single mom? I left your dad when I found out I was pregnant because I almost hurt him many times.

[Megan]

Yeah. My dad was a heathen and. And you made the best decision for you, for us and for me.

[Yvette]

I wasn't raising a baby in there.

[Megan]

Yeah, but I want to. I want to. Before you go into. Cuz your life changed when you got pregnant with me. That was like.

[Yvette]

After I had you.

[Megan]

Yeah, after you had me, that was kind of like a big turning point. But before we get to that.

[Yvette]

What.

[Megan]

What. Can you remember your first encounter with the Lord being like?

[Yvette]

Well, I would say this. I don't even. Because Grandmama had to remind me of some things because even though we went to an AMN church in Mountain Bay.

[Megan]

What's am.

[Yvette]

African Methodist Episcopal. And that was because of Daddy. Mama was raised in a Southern Baptist church, but Daddy was ame, even though he didn't go much with us. But that was what we went. We went to that church. So, yeah, so we. We were at a AME church. And grandmama told me that when we would come to her in the summertime, that when I was young, I would try to take over Bible studies. So I. And I don't remember that. And she said there was this a white lady that came to the church one time to teach a Bible study, and she said, that one right there, she's going to be a preacher because she wants to take over. And years later, Grandma say she saw her in Greenville, Mississippi, one time after I had been ordained. She's like, whatever happened to that, that. That. That. That. That preaching or that. That grandchild. She say she preaching.

[Megan]

She said, she's doing exactly what you thought she would do.

[Yvette]

So I always had a proclivity towards the things of God. Right. I was always sensitive.

[Megan]

And it wasn't necessarily because mom and Daddy were super, you know, it was.

[Yvette]

It was not. I remember at. At our church, I will never forget this. This woman, she was. She came in and she was. She started to speak in tongues, and I could tell other people didn't like that about her. But I was like, in. I was like, oh, my God, I want to know more about that. Like, I always wanted to know what that was. Yeah. And. And I. I heard people talk about the sanctified churches. Right. And I was always intrigued. I wanted to know more about that. And I remember being at Grandmama's church. We would be there in the summertime. Mama would let our parents would let us meet together, cousins meet there at Grandmama's house in the Baptist church. And I saw Grandma, what they call get know. But I wanted to know more about that. I was like, now, my church taught me the Word, but the Spirit was not really prevalent there. Right. And I always felt more of a pulling towards that on my own, without the promptings of anything in my house. It wasn't that, you know, we went to church. We. My mom, they sung in the choir, they served. They did. She did all those things. Right. And so we were always there. But I always wanted more.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

I always just wanted more.

[Megan]

So that's interesting.

[Yvette]

It was a natural proclivity. Like, it was outside. It wasn't anything outside necessarily forcing me into that. It was the promptings of the Holy Spirit. So.

[Megan]

Moving to Ohio, did you guys. I know y' all went to church. I know, because mine goes to the same church.

[Yvette]

So the interesting thing about that was. Yeah, she still. She went. She found her a Baptist church. But it's funny. Your dad, when I met him. Now, I would go with her, I guess, when I was still in school. But when we were in. When I met your dad, there was a guy that was down the street, an older man who was like a mentor to your dad. And he went to the church that I became a member of first. And it was me, your dad, Todd, his cousin, and Buffy. And we four were all in high school. We decided to join this church on our own. We got baptized and didn't even tell our parents. It was like we. We got baptized and went out to dinner on our own. And we never even told them because, see, I was baptized by sprinkling at the AME church when I was, like, nine years old. I wanted to be immersed.

[Megan]

You said, I need a dip.

[Yvette]

I need a dip.

[Megan]

I need a full dip.

[Yvette]

I need a complete dip. Right. So we all made this decision together. We gonna get baptized. We didn't even invite our parents. None of us.

[Megan]

You said, this ain't got nothing to.

[Yvette]

Do with y' all. And so we joined that church on our own. And. But, you know, then you came along.

[Megan]

Yeah. And so you. You find out that you're pregnant and you guys were young. I mean, you were 21. Well, I was 20, so I was.

[Yvette]

19 when I married your dad.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Two weeks before I turned 20. Two weeks before I turned 20, I married him. He was 21. And I got pregnant with you the next year. Like, so we got married in July of 88, and then I got pregnant with you, I guess some point in 89. I didn't know I was pregnant. I was about three months pregnant. I. I know what happened. I drank one night, and I was a good drinker. I didn't get drunk because that. My dad. My daddy taught me how to drink, but apparently I got drunk this time and I passed out. And my friends knew something wasn't right.

[Megan]

Yeah. Because that wasn't like you.

[Yvette]

That's not like me because I. I was always the driver. I was always the person that was clear of mine because daddy taught me how to drink. And so. Because when I went to college, he told me about it, so.

[Megan]

And you went to Ohio State. The okay.

[Yvette]

Ohio State University.

[Megan]

The.

[Yvette]

Okay.

[Megan]

It's like people. All right. The Ohio Buckeye is getting on my nerves.

[Yvette]

I'm just. I'm playing because, you know, it's only the Lord.

[Megan]

Oh, hello.

[Yvette]

That's matters. But, yeah, so I got pregnant with you. I found out when I was about three months pregnant. And. And I knew because of the way me and your dad was fighting, how we were fighting, that I could not raise you in that. And so two weeks later, I left that young. You know, I was only 20 because I was still 20. Well, 21.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

I was 21 at this time when I got pregnant.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I. I left him two weeks later. And after that, right after I had you, I was very. Responsibility has always been a big issue for me.

[Megan]

When you say issue, what do you mean?

[Yvette]

Meaning I take it seriously. I. I don't. I didn't take having a child lightly.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I want to say this, too. I'm gonna go back because, you know, I wasn't really as serious about the Lord at that time at all. I was a church gore. And I had promptings and proclivity toward God's, but. But I was not totally submitted. And so I wondered all the time, people was like, did you ever think about abortion? And I think if I had thought about abortion at that time, I would have had one, but God did not allow it even to enter my mind. And I think it was a pride thing, though, too, maybe, because why it didn't come to my mind because I used to tell women all the time, don't be laying around with somebody that you don't really be willing to have a baby with, right? Because it's all going to fall more on you than them. And so. But I was happy that the Lord didn't allowed it to even enter my mind because I think I might have done it, you know, and. And then I would have no children and no grandchildren because, you know, I'm your only child. You're my only child. Right. I mean, that's a whole nother conversation about me not being able to have kids after that. But I didn't. I wanted to make sure that I raised you right. And I knew I just needed to be serious about the Lord. But I didn't. I didn't the church that I was going to. I felt like something was missing. And I had a friend who worked with me. This is when I was working at Nationwide and Billy, I'm Billy. And she invited me to a small fellowship. And I surrendered my life to the Lord. And I always say, I always tell you that you're the reason why I'm really saved because I needed God to raise you. Like, I knew I needed Him.

[Megan]

Now, was that something that you felt like he placed, like that was something he had prompted your heart? Or like, was there a moment where it was like, I have to.

[Yvette]

Like, I was afraid my whole pregnancy, but I was angry too. And. But it was after only I, when I saw you, when I got had you, that I was like, I need help, like. And then that's when Billy invited me to her fellowship and I heard the type of preaching that was serious about relationship with God. That solidified something very strong in me that it was preached to me that a real relationship with God is what's most important. And I learned how to get to know God and be in a real relationship with the true and living God. And it changed everything for me.

[Megan]

And so this is when we were.

[Yvette]

At the church Eagle Saints.

[Megan]

Eagle Saints back in, in Columbus. And it kind of seems like it went from almost like a 0 to 100 with you. Like once you gave, you know, God a serious. Yes, you were like, sold out. Sold out.

[Yvette]

I was very zealous, you know, I was not. I didn't have as much wisdom as I needed. I was sold out. And I had, I ended up with a lot of self righteousness too during that time too, because I was so gung ho on the things, you know, of God. I just wanted to be saturated with everything. And I thought I knew a lot that I didn't know, necessarily, but my heart really wanted to know God. I really wanted to be all in. And so some of the things you used to complain about is that you woke up in fellowships. I was at a fellowship, at a conference, at a. I was obsessed.

[Megan]

I'm really not just saying that. Am I lying?

[Yvette]

That's how I was. And I dragged you along.

[Megan]

Women's prayer groups in the middle of the night. Middle of the night. Like, I was. We was always at church or doing something.

[Yvette]

Church, like. Like a fellowship or women's group. Yeah, but.

[Megan]

And. And again, I don't think there was ever a time where I was like, oh, this is annoying, because I think, like, you. And maybe just because that's how you know you are and how you were and the things that you kept me in. But I always had a proclivity towards the things of the Lord from a young age.

[Yvette]

Honey, you used to walk around saying, I already have Jesus with me. I am already saved, and I will make my open confession by the time I'm 9 or 10 or 11 or some age. You said, you say, I'll make my open confession, but I'm already say. I was like, this little thing is talking about, she know Jesus already.

[Megan]

Yeah, I just. I think. But I. There was. There was a time, I remember, where we were at some lady's house, and it was like one of them in the middle of the night prayer things. It was getting late, and I remember all the kids were in the room upstairs. Upstairs watching a movie. And I was sitting on the steps, and I was just watching y' all pray. Like, I don't. I didn't. I don't know what it was, but I was just, like. I was always just interested and pulled towards the things.

[Yvette]

I remember exactly that. I can see that in my mind, too. I remember Cynthia's house that I used to do the praise dancing with y' all.

[Megan]

The fact that my mom used to do praise dancing throughout the city.

[Yvette]

Me miss. And you remember Sister Della. Sister Della's like, that's not of the.

[Megan]

The Lord.

[Yvette]

How you gonna just up and do a dance? I was like, I just feel it in my spirit. Sister Dallas.

[Megan]

It's just funny because my mom has no rhythm. She don't got no rhythm, but she.

[Yvette]

Would get fast stuff. It was more. Yeah. That liturgical type.

[Megan]

It's just funny if you know my mom and you've seen her in life, to imagine her praise dancing is hilarious.

[Yvette]

Because I felt like I had all of this passion inside that I could not get out.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Like, I, I, I had so much in me that I, I didn't know all of what was happening. I needed to be able to express it. But, you know, when I first got save, Saved, you know, I wasn't used to lifting up my hands and things like that expression, the expression, the outward expression. I wasn't used to and wanted it like I wanted to be able to. And it's, it's so different like between, because of the way you were raised and how you could shout.

[Megan]

Shout like you, Yeah, I got all the freedom.

[Yvette]

You had all the freedom. Right. And I had to work towards that because I wasn't raised like that. In my church that I was raised in at the time, you could hear a pin drop. Like it was quiet, it was holy, holy, you know, that kind of stuff. It wasn't that foot stomping or whatever, but I felt that there was something more in me.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I wanted to find ways of expressing that. And I think part of that praise dance was kind of that thing.

[Megan]

Yeah. For me, I just love that you weren't afraid to try things. That even if it wasn't in your comfort zone, you were just like, you were just kind of like, I have this, like that fire shut him in my bones. I just have to get it out. Like, I don't care what it is. And I just think that that's a, I think that that's a, a beautiful encouragement even to other people. That's like, I don't know what, you know, maybe I don't know what my gifts are yet.

[Yvette]

Right, right.

[Megan]

Maybe I don't know what my spiritual gifts are, but I know I have this fire in me to just express what God is doing on the inside of me. And so you just weren't afraid. Like, you did a lot of stuff. You volunteered and served this street ministry, street. I mean, you did everything. And I just think that that's, I think that we don't talk a lot about that because I think people think that you, you say yes to the Lord and you know immediately what your calling is. You know what I'm saying? Like, everybody doesn't and everybody doesn't. And I think it's just beautiful how you just kind of allow the Lord. Like you just like, I'm just going to kind of let this zeal in me lead me to just.

[Yvette]

And I messed up a lot. Right. I did, I messed up a lot and had to be corrected a lot. But I think that was the Kindness of the Lord, too, because. Because I was so outward with how I was, people could directly deal with me. It was no secret with me. It wasn't any thing that you had to guess about. Right. I was able to be dealt with immediately, and God knew I had to be. And that's how God deals with me. Because I'm a very direct person. You can't be too diplomatic with me. In. In dealings with me. You have to be straightforward because you're going to lose me in transition if you try to be. Use too much diplomacy. I'm just gonna get lost. Right. So I would rather get my feelings hurt first.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And deal with it so that I know what it is than to. Let's beat around the bush. I'm. You're gonna lose me.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

So God deals with me. He deals with everybody according to their bent, you know, and how they are and so everything. But for a long time, I wanted to deal with people like that. Like. Because that's how God deals with me. But. But it was because of the anointing that he placed on my life and what he had for me to do. And my callings are more prophetic and strong and. But God had to tame me over the years on what that looked like.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Okay. What that was for.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And a lot of times it wasn't for me to say something to people. It was more about me praying and interceding for people. That's why when I see people online all the time doing all of this, God told you to say this. And God told me this, and God told me that. But. Yeah, because they're a prophet. But did he tell you to tell everybody or did he tell you, get on your knees and intercede. Stand in the gap and make up the hedge? You know, because I. My girlfriend, we are. We always say, yeah, because we got the real Holy Ghost. Not just play Holy Ghost, that people playing around with the real Holy Ghost is going to bring you to your knees. And a lot of time, it's. A lot of times it's not about telling people something. It's about interceding and praying.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

For people and for situations and for territories and things like that. So over the years, I learned that.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, by God dealing with me very directly in my face and saying, yvette, this is this. And I love that. Even though my feelings got hurt a lot. Okay. My feelings were hurt a lot. But God build me. He built me through those things. He was able to teach me because I was always teachable. If you don't have a teachable spirit. That is not good. But I was teachable, I was trainable, and he was able to do those things in my life, which has helped me be able to navigate through some things that other people have a hard time navigating.

[Megan]

So I have two questions based off of that before we continue. One. What's up you guys? Listen. This episode is brought to you by Glorify, the number one Christian daily devotional app. What's up in totality, fam? Listen, can we be honest for a second? Sometimes life can feel like a whirlwind, right? Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, even disconnected, Glorify offers Christ centered tools to help you navigate life's challenges with calming meditation, uplifting prayers, and practical wisdom from God's Word. I found that carving out even just five minutes with Glorify can make all of the difference in the morning. You can start by reading the Bible passage of the day, diving into Glorifi's daily devotion, and wrapping up with an immersive experience called Daily Walk with God. And if you need to take a few minutes to yourself in the middle of the busy day, try one of Glorify's guided meditations or press play on one of their curated worship playlists for a moment of quote, quiet reflection. When the evening rolls around, you can enjoy Glorify sleep meditation. They're like a gentle embrace, helping you wind down and rest in God's presence. Whether you're a committed Christian or simply just curious about your faith, the Glorify app has something for you. And you'll be in great company with over 20 million people who have downloaded the Glorify app and deepen their relationship with God. Visit glorify D app.com totality right now and download the Glorify app for free. That's glorified-app.com totality to download the glorify app for free, that's glorified-app.com totality all right, guys, back to the conversation. How does one know, like, what wisdom can you give to someone who's like, I feel like the Lord is telling me, showing me certain things. How do I know what God is telling me to say? And how do I know what God is just telling me to pray about? Like, how can they discern and like, what's some wisdom so they can have?

[Yvette]

Okay, so I'm gonna go back a little bit first too. This right here.

[Megan]

Hello.

[Yvette]

This is important. This word, right? This is how you get to know the nature of God. You have to read your word okay. Because there are all kind of things, thoughts you can have and opinions you can have. And they say opinion is a dime a dozen. Right. And people that think they know a lot. You get to know the Lord through the scriptures. That's the first thing. Because then you get to know his nature and who he is. It's not a thing that happens overnight. It's just not. God set a precedent. I mentioned this in the. When we were talking in the. In the pre. Thing that God set a precedent in the beginning of creating the world. He. He did it in a process. He didn't have to write. He set a precedent to show us. He would use process for us to be developed, sanctified and consecrated and all those things. It everything does not have. You can have encounters that will change things. In a moment, something can happen. But for the long haul is the. It's the long game, right? It is enduring to the end. It is the process that. And I hate process. I'm gonna tell you naturally, I don't like it. I don't like it, but it is necessary. So you learn God's voice through process and reading His Word and taking his correction and making those changes. It doesn't necessarily happen overnight. It's like any relationship in a marriage. You getting to know each other more and more as you continue to in relationship with one another. You get to know each other. So I, you know, the Bible says my sheep know my voice and another they will not follow. But the way you get to know his voice, by reading his word and praying and fasting.

[Megan]

Hello.

[Yvette]

Okay. And we're going to talk. I know we going to get to this, but I want to talk about the Holy Spirit because I don't understand. I don't think people fully understand the full purpose and the power of the Holy Spirit in your life.

[Megan]

All right, you guys, listen. This episode is brought to you by zocdoc. When was the last time you needed to go to the doctor but you push it off? Maybe an excuse of, I'm just too busy to schedule an appointment. I don't know what doctor to go to. Or because you felt you needed more information on what the experience at that certain doctor's office was like before booking an appointment. I think we've all been there. I certainly have. Booking a doctor's appointment can just feel like a task, especially if you're always on the go, like me. But thanks to Zocdoc, there's no longer any reason to delay. They make it easy to find and book a doctor who's right for you. Have you ever woken up with a swollen, itchy eye, a scary looking rash or a persistent code that won't go away and immediately googled or searched on TikTok to see what was wrong? We've all probably gone down the rabbit hole before, but it's time to get the help and care you really need with ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about booking in network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty from mental health, dental health, primary care to urgent care and more. You can filter for doctors who take your insurance, are located nearby, are a good fit for any medical need you may have, and are highly rated by verified patients. Once you find the right doctor, you can see their actual appointment openings. You can choose a time slot that works best for you, click and instantly book a visit. Appointments made through Zocdoc can happen fast, typically between 24 and 72 hours of booking. You can even score same day appointments. If for any reason I need to change doctors in the future or find a specialist for something for myself or my kids, ZOCDOC is what I'd use. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com totality and find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z o c-o c.com totality zocdoc.com totality that's t o t A L I T Y. All right guys, back to the show.

[Yvette]

And I'm doing X in my Bible study right now. And it's just reigniting the fire in me. Like, you know, you know how many times I don't read X, but right now I'm just like, yes, we need to understand the power of the Holy ghost. I think Dr. Miles Monroe said, you know, he is the most important person on earth. Mm. And Jesus, God so graciously invested the Holy Spirit in us. The very power that raised Jesus up from the dead lives in us. Girl, don't get me started on that so quick because I'm telling you, I feel that fire coming up. But he, he, he will lead and guide you into all truth.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

So it's important to embrace the Holy Ghost, the Holy Spirit, and he will teach you. He will be your teacher on learning the voice of God and knowing how to distinguish between the three voices that you mainly hear. You hear the voice of God, the voice of the enemy. And your own soulish voice can be there too. And you need to learn the difference. But it's a process. It doesn't happen overnight. That's why you have to daily read this word, get to know God, pray and fast. Listen to the Holy Spirit.

[Megan]

Yeah. And I heard somebody say, I don't remember who said it. And I want to quote them, but I don't remember who said it. But it was like, you know, God is never going to disagree with himself. And so, like, when you're having thoughts and you're gonna have so many thoughts, just because you are now a believer doesn't mean you have the right to sanctify every thought that comes to your mind. You have to go through the process of saying, does this sound like God? Where in His Word comes into agreement with that thought? Or even with these people with these wild dreams? Okay, where is that coming from? Like, you know what I'm saying? Where is that coming from? Where does God agree with that in His Word? Because he's never going to contradict himself. He's. And he's always going to agree with His Word. Always. So I just think it's really important. Like, and you know me, I'm always an advocate for reading this. Don't take my word for it. Don't take her word for it. Don't take your favorite prophets. Find out how God speaks from beginning to end because it teaches you how to learn and hear. Like, oh, like you used to tell me all the time, Megan, think about what you think about, what you're thinking about. Take time and think about that.

[Yvette]

Because he tells us what to think about things that. 11 things, a good report. Oh, he tells you what to think about, right? So this is. But if you knew this, then you'd be like, lord, I'm not thinking them thoughts, right? I'm not. I'm not doing that. And, And I, I will tell people, be honest with God. Like, when you, when you pray, you have to read the Word and you have to pray. You cannot live this life successfully without a prayer life.

[Megan]

Hello.

[Yvette]

You got to have a prayer life.

[Megan]

Got to.

[Yvette]

And I'm not saying everybody's called to the level of that. Some people are true intercessors all the time. But. But you still need a prayer life. Those two things. That's the difference between two. I was thinking about this recently about witchcraft and stuff, right? And how people, they have to do all these, like, incantations and, you know, all of these things when God gave us two things to do. Pray and fast. You don't have to do all of that. Burning somebody's name and doing some sage and all of this stuff. He gave you the Word and he told you to pray and fast. You have to pray and fast, and you do.

[Megan]

Or it's the Christian life.

[Yvette]

That's.

[Megan]

That's. That's.

[Yvette]

That's basic.

[Megan]

Basic.

[Yvette]

And when you find yourself not wanting. I mean, you might not want to pray. You still pray, though.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You just pray?

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

It's communication with the Lord. And I was on your intro, I was talking about people get confused with pray without ceasing. Right. But pray without sin is just always having the mindset of prayer.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Right. I'm at work, and I'm. I'm always talking to the Lord, like, I'm always talking to him.

[Megan]

Because your mind set on, like, on him. Literally.

[Yvette]

You practice that, and when you practice it, it's just like, it's nothing for me.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

I am always in the mindset of him. What? Not like a cliche, what would Jesus do? But for real, what would he do?

[Megan]

Yeah, what would he. How would he. How would he respond to this? Is he pleased with this?

[Yvette]

Right.

[Megan]

I just had this thought. Lord, are you pleased with that thought? I just had this response.

[Yvette]

Because he. When you get like that, he will arrest things with you. He will bring a conviction really quick.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You're like, I shouldn't have said that.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Oh, I shouldn't have done that. And don't. Don't mess up and reject the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Oh, that's so deep to me. Because people that do that end up being deceived. If you continue because your heart. Fear.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Like a hot iron. And then you end up in deception. How do you turn from that?

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Because you start believing the truth as a lie. A lie is the truth. How do you turn from that? That. That's, to me, the real blasphemy of the Holy Spirit rejecting his promptings. And God is so faithful that he will prompt us. The Holy Spirit will prompt us when he's not pleased.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And. And that conviction comes, but instead of us embracing it so many times, we want to defend it ourselves. And it's like, if. If y' all knew how God dealt with me, he'd be like, dang, none of your business. I'm not even dealing with them. I'm talking about you. I'm like, okay, hello. What are you gonna do? You're gonna say, yes, sir. That's what I do.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

I say, yes, sir, and I move on. I don't know if I was talking to you about this, but, like, being married will definitely sanctify you because the real you come out in a marriage. And I think I mentioned to you how I hate to apologize, right?

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

So I try to do things so.

[Megan]

You don't have to. I'm the man.

[Yvette]

And the Holy Spirit said, ain't nothing but pride, which is my biggest sin. I know I am not afraid to say it because the Lord already knows and I live for the audience of one. So he was like, yeah, you try to do stuff where you don't have to apologize. Right? And I remember. So this was. Just happened last week. Last week, me and my husband, we got into a heated argument. And we don't have many of those. We just don't. We too old for that now. Yeah. But when they. When they happen, they happen. And. Oh, he just made me mad. He walked out through. He was like, I'm sorry. But he. I said, you. You don't even mean. So I'm just mad now. And it is so funny. And the holy sphere is so. God is, like, comical sometimes, right? So we live in a nice sized house, so. But normally, because Jamar is a night person and he loves the TV on all the time, a lot of times he'll sleep downstairs because he's watching TV or he's up and he knows I don't want that TV on like that. So a lot of times he's not coming to bed. Why does Nike come to bed? And not only did he come to bed, my butt couldn't sleep. I'm testing and turning and sitting up. And I know he knew it. And I was getting madder and madder because we normally don't go to bed angry, but I was still angry, right? Oh, and then I. So my alarm goes off. It was. It was a workday. So five o' clock, I pray. That's what time I get up to pray. So I get. I'm already up. And so I go kind of stomping into my office to pray. And the Holy Spirit say, even before you get down here, you already know you gonna have to apologize. Oh. And I was just like. And still I've been On this Earth 57 years this year, so I'm still dealing with this. Been saved a long time. And I'm just like, oh, I don't want to apologize. I started working then. So I walk in there to do it, and he was sleep. I was glad. So I went on back.

[Megan]

I ain't gotta do it now. Yeah.

[Yvette]

And then Holy Spirit said, go back in that room, wake him up and apologize. So I'm like, jamar, I want to apologize for last night. And I didn't say no, but I just was like, I was too strong. I shouldn't have been. And guess what happened? He was like, no, I really understood what you were saying. All that resistance.

[Megan]

Yeah. And it was. And it was. It was. It was ease.

[Yvette]

And it was easy. He was.

[Megan]

He.

[Yvette]

Because he felt like, no, I understood when I left out what you meant, but. So he made it even easier. I said, well, I need to. Really. I'm sorry. For real, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been that strong with you. And that was not. I shouldn't have been like that.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Last night. And we were fine.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

But all this resistance because of your pride of not doing it. You know, the Lord still deals with me with that. And. But it's so freeing when you allow. Because when you have that type of relationship with him because you know, God loves you. He wants the best for you. There was a situation because me and your audience might not notice, but we. My husband and I worked together. He just retired in December, but we worked together and we lived together, and so we did everything together. And there was a situation that happened at work, and I was. We. We didn't get into an argument about it, but kind of. It was something that happened, and it hurt my feelings that he didn't understand what I was trying to say in this situation. And I felt like I couldn't get through. And I don't really remember getting deeply on my knees, like, lord, kind of shine a light on this for him, for me. But I. But the Lord knew I wanted him to understand where I was coming from about this, because I. I make a rule in my house. We're not going to talk about work that much because I don't like to do it, but because we. Because we work together and live together. So it was like we went on to bed. We weren't mad. I wasn't mad. I was just. I felt like I wanted him to understand. Do you know that?

[Megan]

Next morning, this episode is sponsored by Better Help. Hey, in Totality Fam. It's Megan Ashley. And since it's Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to take a moment to talk to you about something that is extremely close to my heart. Taking care of your mind and your emotions just like you would your body. Listen, I love that we're living in a time where people are becoming more open about therapy and mental Wellness, but there's still a lot of stigma out there. The truth is, is that people avoid getting help because they're worried about being judged. Our mental well being doesn't just affect us, but it ripples out into our families, our communities and our everyday lives. Listen, I remember a time in my life where I was going through major transitions, major life transitions. And if it wasn't for wise counsel telling me to not only take my faith serious, but also my mental health serious and get into therapy, it made all the difference. It made the difference for me, it made the difference for my children. And my life just would not be the same had I not taken the time to really seek help and listen. Therapy isn't just for moments of crisis or big life changing events. It can be a powerful tool for learning how to set healthy boundaries, develop stronger coping skills, or simply just to know yourself on a deeper level. Whether you're navigating stress transitions or just needing someone to talk to, having the right support can make all the difference. That's where better help comes in. They've been doing this for over 10 years, connecting people to licensed therapists across a wide range of specialties. They've got a network, over 30,000 therapists. You can find someone who really fits your needs. And because it's all online and convenient and flexible, no waiting rooms, no scheduling struggles, you can even switch therapists at any time at no extra cost, which I think is so important because the right fit really does matter. We're all better with help. Visit betterhelp.com totality and get 10 off your first month. That's betterhelp H-E-O-P.com totality t o t A L I T Y All right guys, back to the episode.

[Yvette]

Like, it was like the holy. I don't know if the Holy Spirit gave him a dream because he didn't say, but he said this came to his mind. He was like, he told me about stuff that had happened years before I ever started working for the agency. And it was like he fully understood that morning, like that you had prayed about. Well, and I, I didn't even deeply pray. Yeah, I just was like, lord, I want him to understand where, where I'm coming from with this because it, it bothered me and I'm rarely bothered like that. And so, but the next morning he fully understood and had stories to back up what I was saying from before I even started working for the agency. And I, that was just an example to me. When the Lord says, I want, I can handle things you know, I'm a type of person that wants. I hope I don't get emotional about this, but I like to fix things. Right. I want to fix it. Like when you are going through stuff and we could go back to. To the years, the last couple years, and I feel like I want to fix you, you know, I. It's like, I want to fix you. I. I don't want my. My daughter to constantly go through this circle of things over and over again. As a, you know, parent. No matter what, you're still a parent even though your children are grown. And when you see them suffering and struggling with things, especially when they do know the Lord and you want to fix it. I am a person that wants to fix it. And when you can't fix it, God is like, you just got to trust me.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Yeah, you gotta trust me, you know, and he shows me that over and over and over and over again. Because the dynamics of our relationship has changed a lot, you know, And I had to remember, even though I'm your mother, I have to still release you.

[Megan]

So go back to that first time that. That. That the Lord. Oh, yeah, that the Lord really prompted that on you. Yeah.

[Yvette]

That was a baby.

[Megan]

Yeah. It was a lesson that you had to learn.

[Yvette]

It was quickly.

[Megan]

And you talk about it. I talk about it all the time. But maybe just to hear from you, because I'm.

[Yvette]

I'm.

[Megan]

It. It has changed. I mean, you told me this years ago, years ago. And I think it's changed even the way I've raised my kids. And it was such a helpful way to. To not get into a trap. Because as moms, I think one of the quickest ways the enemy can really get us is through anxiety and fear, you know, especially for those who are real, like, care. You know what I mean? Are really. They really care about being a mom, you know what I'm saying?

[Yvette]

And a godly mom. Yeah. You know, so you were a baby. And that's when I submitted myself, you know, to the Lord. But I. Because me and your dad weren't together, I would have to take him to you and take you to him, and you would stay with him sometimes. And so every time you were away from me, I had, like, a deep fear that something was going to happen to you, like an anxiety. It was very strong. And the Holy Spirit dealt with me, and he said, I'm gonna have to have you bury Megan. Like, in my mind.

[Megan]

Yeah. Be clear before they be like, you buried her.

[Yvette]

You did some of that crazy. Like you dug a Hole. You buried her.

[Megan]

Because I don't want people. If you hear a voice that tells you to bury your kid, that is not the Lord. That is Satan.

[Yvette]

Well, a literal berry.

[Megan]

A berry in her mind. A picture of. Yeah, he said.

[Yvette]

He said. Basically what he was saying to me was that if I. If she was taken away, would you still serve me? That's what he said. Because you were my world at that point. Right. And I was anxious that things could happen. He said something could happen with her right here with you. But what he really told me is the Megan doesn't belong to you. She is mine. And I have leased her, basically, for you to raise. And she's in your care to bring up. But she's my child. And the reality. He took me through that. That was like a week that I really had to go through it. Through it with him in prayer and.

[Megan]

Because you were. You would have anxiety even when I would be with you. You said that you used to go to my room and, like, just watch and see if I was breathing.

[Yvette]

Watch. Yes. I would go in there when you would be sleeping. When you were first. First born, I didn't sleep for four weeks. I literally. When you slept, I watched you sleep. I was so paranoid. Like, I was. You know, sis was a big thing, too. People, People. Babies were dying in their sleep, you know, And I just had this fear, and it came from the enemy because it was just overwhelming.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

For sure. And so. But the Lord delivered me from that and that part of it, you know, and basically letting me know she belongs to me and I have her. But I just need you to, you know, take instruction from me on how to raise her. Because she's not yours in that way.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Ultimately, she's mine.

[Megan]

Yeah. And that's, I think, for anybody who's a mom, that is such a wise. That's such wisdom to give. Because like I said, I know even for me, you know, I still can have anxieties about raising kids. It's just, you know, especially, like you said, especially when you want them to, when you know how important their salvation is. Like, when. You know what I'm saying, like, you just. You're. You can get in. This world is just nuts, and it's scary. And so there. There. There is so much out there that can produce fear and anxiety for mothers, for parents in general. But I think, like, every time I get kind of a fear or a. A temptation to be anxious or fearful, I always have what you say in the back of my mind. Like, I take myself through that whole thing, it's like, Megan, they don't belong to you. They belong to the Lord. Like they. Like you were to steward their lives. You were to be a good steward over their lives, but you are like, they do not belong to you. And I think if you can get that, if people can get that does help release a lot of weight, you know what I'm saying? And anxiousness.

[Yvette]

That's why you need to know the Lord too, though, because. Because He. They belong to Him. You need to know how. You need a relationship with him to know how to raise them.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, because I made a whole lot of mistakes.

[Megan]

Because every child is different, too.

[Yvette]

And I only had one.

[Megan]

You only had me. But you can see that with. With. With my boys is like every child this. And here's the thing. It's like the Lord says in His Word, before I place you in your mother's womb, I knew you, right? And so God is the only one that knows that child. You know your kid, but he knows your kid way more than you do. And so this is why it's so important to have a real, like you said, relationship with the Lord. Because now I'm talking to the Lord about the one he knows the most. And I'm not taking how I. How I raised this one. You know, yes, there are certain foundational things. And, you know, I didn't play about stuff, raising my kids.

[Yvette]

You had. You had a. You had a strategy in doing things with them. Like, they had rules. And I never forget one time, this is when y' all was still in Columbus and Eli was little, but. And even Jonah got with me one time, but they were like, honey, you put your shoes in the wrong place. Your shoes should go over there. I was like, oh, I'm sorry. I will put my shoes in the right place.

[Megan]

They said, you ain't about to have her coming in at us. You better put your shoes.

[Yvette]

Put your shoes in the right spot. Mommy says they don't go in there.

[Megan]

Yeah, I think. I think for me as a mom, I just. Yeah, structure was a. Was a thing for me. I just had to have order in my house.

[Yvette]

Yeah. I tell people all the time, I love how the boys, like, you know, they were rambunctious. Like, your house was on 10 until they went to bed, but they didn't write on walls and they didn't take snacks. Where they weren't supposed to take snacks. They knew to sit at the table and eat. Like, there were things that set in place. They had a definite time to Go to bed. You know, it wasn't just Willy Nilly, you know.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

They had some rules.

[Megan]

So I want to talk about kind of what your experience as a mom has been and just the journey of that from. And we talked a lot about when I was little and how you had to really take your relationship with Christ very serious so that you could raise me. You felt like that was, that was important. But then as I get older, you are still going through life stuff. Right. You had another divorce. That completely changed my life. It. It threw me into a whole just thing.

[Yvette]

It's amazing that you and I both are not in the same asylum, especially during that time, because I real. Though if I had been evaluated then for sure I would have. They would say she's nuts. Like, I. Because I was losing it at that point. That's a whole nother subject. But. And I was a young mother, so, you know, I wasn't young. Like, I was a teenager, but I was still young.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

So I'm learning myself.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

I mean, I'm doing ministry. I'm in school because I was always. I have 3 degrees, so I'm always learning.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I was working.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, and trying to raise a child and.

[Megan]

Because I think something you said just to, just to kind of preface this conversation, something you said to me, this was like two or three years ago. Maybe three, maybe three or four years ago. I don't. It was after I moved to Atlanta and I'm living in hell. So that was a really hard time. We'll talk about that. But I remember you said something to me. It had to be like three, three years ago. But you were like, megan, I don't want you to forget all that you have survived. Like, I don't want you to ever forget all the Lord has brought you through. Because you said we tend to have. We tend to just bypass it and make it seem like it's. It's just normal to suffer in certain type of ways. And you were like, I just don't want you to forget. Like, don't minimalize what you've actually come through.

[Yvette]

Accomplished.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Yeah.

[Megan]

But I, I. What we went through at that time when I was 16, probably until, I don't know, after, like Bible College, but 15 to 16, or maybe even before, maybe 14 to 16. It was just a really hard time, rough time. And so how was that like for you, trying to stay committed to the Lord, like you said, growing.

[Yvette]

So we found out because you were also having.

[Megan]

You were also going through menopause.

[Yvette]

And I Didn't know it.

[Megan]

And you didn't know it.

[Yvette]

Yeah, that's. And I was young. I was, like, 30, 31, 32, like, going through menopause. I had been for a couple years and didn't know.

[Megan]

So you were literally menopause at your late 20s?

[Yvette]

Yes, and in early 30s. Early 30s. And so I didn't know, but I. I was suffering in silence. Because you didn't even know.

[Megan]

I didn't know.

[Yvette]

You didn't know. You saw me moving in an uncommon way, but you didn't know what was going on with me. And I didn't let people know. Like, I. I was hiding a lot of stuff, and I don't know even why I was hiding it so much, but I was. I was mentally going through. And we didn't even know why until after you had Caleb, why that happened to me. But it was a very hard time. And I felt like. I want to go back a little bit, too, about being a mother when you were little. I felt like I had a lot of pressure on me. I was trying to make it. And I found myself as a mother apologizing to you a lot. You remember that? I do remember that because. And I think parents need to know that that's a good.

[Megan]

That's a good.

[Yvette]

That is important that. Because some of my hardness on you wasn't your fault.

[Megan]

Like, it's very important to learn how to show repentance to your children because.

[Yvette]

Do you remember?

[Megan]

Because I do remember. I remember coming. I remember the old apartment. Lakeside. No, not Lake's Edge. Was it Main Street?

[Yvette]

It was Lake's Edge.

[Megan]

No, I'm not talking about that one. I'm talking about the one that was next to the flea market. Livingston.

[Yvette]

I don't know that name of that one.

[Megan]

It was all for. L. We were. We were up. I remember like you. Because at the end, my mom used to always say I had a Monday morning demon.

[Yvette]

She did. Like, she had been working all night.

[Megan]

Like, Monday morning, I just. Was in a. I just had attitude. Every Monday morning, she used to, you know, get with me. But I remember this one time we. You were, you know, mad about. I don't know, you were mad about some yelling at me about something. And we got in the car, and you turned the car on and you just sat there and. I mean, in the backseat. And I remember looking at your. Your reflection through the. Through the rearview mirro. And you. And you looked at me through the rearview mirror and you said, megan, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. It's not. It's not you.

[Yvette]

And I had to do that a.

[Megan]

Few times, and you did. But I just remember that one specific time. Cause I remember looking at you in the rear view mirror. But that was something. That was that.

[Yvette]

But it seemed like it was always in the car, though.

[Megan]

It was always in the car.

[Yvette]

Yeah. Because it was like God was speaking to me like you. That wasn't all her. You got other stuff going on. She didn't deserve all that. And I felt. And I didn't have problem with that. Like, now. Other stuff.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

But. But I didn't have a problem with telling you I was sorry when you were little. Especially when you were little, because I felt like, you know, she didn't need all that. That's something else going on with you.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I think parents need to know, since, you know, you're talking about Mother's Day and stuff, to know you. It's okay for you to apologize to your kids.

[Megan]

It's necessary.

[Yvette]

It's necessary for them to do it.

[Megan]

Teaches them how to do it.

[Yvette]

And it shows humility.

[Megan]

Yes.

[Yvette]

You know, letting them see you practice that.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Is important, you know, so I just kind of wanted to go back to that. But when you were, you know, when we were in that position, when I was in my 30s and stuff. Yeah. That was a hard, hard time because I. It was a lot going on with me, and I was hiding a lot. And this is why community is so important. You need community so that you could really have people to help you.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I think because pride is such a big thing with me. I had a lot of pride. I just did. And I didn't want people to think, oh, she done messed up again. She married the wrong person, and, you know, and her life is hell, really. And he was not a true person. Like, he was really fake, you know, in front of other people. And so I was doing a lot of suffering behind this scene. And I had to minister to other people, though.

[Megan]

Yep. Minister at our church.

[Yvette]

Yeah.

[Megan]

At our old church.

[Yvette]

It was just a really, really kind of dark time.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I was so glad God brought us out of that. But I'm still really. And you still reeling back from that, that time, for sure. Yeah.

[Megan]

We're still. There are still, like, residual.

[Yvette]

Because there was a lot of spiritual stuff going on. Yeah. It was dark stuff happening in that time.

[Megan]

Yeah. And I think.

[Yvette]

Do.

[Megan]

Do you. Do you think that you recognize at that time that I started to change in the sense of, like, depression and.

[Yvette]

Well, it would definitely. Because, you know, I was. I had. I had taken to a psychiatrist, remember?

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I didn't like him. But I was talking to your counselors all the time because you were having. That's when you started having suicidal thoughts. Yes. Suicidal thoughts and things like that. So. Yeah. You know, you were going through. And see what. I knew also that you were a teenager and. And a teenager is going to go.

[Megan]

Through, like, you know, naturally something happening.

[Yvette]

I think I was telling Jordan this the other night, last night or something about teenagers. Like, I think I read this. I know I read it somewhere. The myelin sheath, the brain. Right. It disconnects from the brain twice in life when you're born and as an adolescent. So as an adolescent, teenagers are truly.

[Megan]

Not in their right mind.

[Yvette]

Right. Scientific thing. There really is something going on in their mind. And I think, you know, when you're not as mature and you're growing yourself, like, I'm. So I'm raising you, but I'm being. I'm being mature, too.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, so. Yeah. It's a lot happening.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

In that. And so I didn't. Yeah. I had. I remember. I remember a lot of times in the counselor's office about you and your emotional.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Situation.

[Megan]

Yeah. How was that? As a mom, As a believing mom. Right. As a Christian mother, how can you help? Because, you know, that started as a. As a young teenager, and it, you know, it's still. Well, praise God. I have not had a suicidal thought since I gave the Lord a serious yes in 2023. But I mean, that was only a couple years ago, so I've been not.

[Yvette]

Even a full two years. Yeah.

[Megan]

I have struggled for a really long time. And so what can you. What kind of wisdom can you give moms who are. Who are kind of. Who maybe have a child that's. That's struggling like that.

[Yvette]

Well, I would say this because I feel like I made a lot of mistakes because I just didn't know. Right. I. Because I always just thought you were moody. Right. And I was like, oh, she won't tell me. I want to talk to her. We're good. And I should have been more of a person to have you talk to me about it, like, instead of. But see, that's. That's the issue when you're like a single mom and you're trying to do it all on your own and you got a lot going on. You're not. You're trying to make it. I was surviving.

[Megan]

Yeah. I'm trying to make sure you go to school. You eat.

[Yvette]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to. I'm trying to survive.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, but I. And this is why people. This is why doing things God's way is so important. Because, you know, when you have the. The husband and the wife, y' all both submitted to the Lord, it's still going to be hard. But you got each other to lean on.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I just did not have that. But I feel like I should have been more. I should have had you talk to me more. Like, let us talk it out instead of ignoring it and just letting it be. You know, I felt like I did that way too much with you and had me and you had the, like, what this relationship is developed in. We did a lot more fighting.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

When you were a teenager than we did talking.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I. I felt like I was overwhelmed.

[Megan]

For sure you were. You know, and all the responsibilities, the financial responsibility was all on you. When I was a teenager, you like, you were the one. Like, everything was on you. Taking care of me, taking care of the home, taking care of bills, taking. Like you were working. You were in school. You had. I mean, you had a lot of responsibility at church and that. And you weren't even working there full time, but it was like a full time job.

[Yvette]

Even at World Harvest. They thought I was a full time there too.

[Megan]

Yeah. So it's like you were. You were always. There was a lot of responsibility on you. And I think now as a mom, and we've had this conversation many times, I've had so much more empathy for. In compassion for what you went through as a mom. Now I'm like, oh, see it for sure. That's why I think we can have healthy conversations even about mistakes that were made or maybe ways that could have been better. And there's not resentment or like offense or. You know what I mean?

[Yvette]

Because it is what it is.

[Megan]

Yeah. It's like you're not.

[Yvette]

And we're not perfect. We all are going to go through something.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I think parents can't beat themselves up either. But you just try to seek God to do what is right at the time. You know, And I think some transparency with your kids is important. You know, you don't. Don't let your kids think that everything's perfect and it's not. Not that you want to put pressure on them or anything, but you want them to be able to see a healthy relationship.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, let them see that things are not perfect.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, or your mom and dad are. Are like these husks. Stables.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

From the Cosby show or you know that they have. They're facing real, real life challenges as well. And, and talk to your kids.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Talk to them more because I wish I had done that with you back then. I wish I had more healthy conversations with you.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

I think that's a big thing. I think that you have to. You know, I was big though on to let now. I was big with this. I wanted you to be you and not me. What I mean is I took the scripture like raise up your child in the way that they should go. Like the. They're toward their bent. Right. I always knew that God had an anointing on your life. I always knew because you had prophetic dreams. You would say all kinds of things and then it would be prophetic. And even just the way you saw things, it was just deeper. So the Lord had already. So you're gifting to. He showed me that you had a gifting to draw people to you. That you know, our gifts and talents are without repentance. So you didn't have to work for that. That's just something you have. That's why people are very attracted to you. It's not just because you're a beautiful looking woman. It's because there's an anointing on you to attract people to you. How you steward that is your responsibility. And I always was big on you about that. I always wanted you to see things from a different side, a different perspective because I felt like now that was something that I really tried to do because I felt like God is going to use you one day.

[Megan]

Yeah. You always, you were always big on accountability.

[Yvette]

Accountability.

[Megan]

And we've talked about this. We've talked about how. How because you were so big on accountability, it kind of made me more introspective and hard on myself or overthinking or overthinking then because I. I did that. Yeah. Yeah.

[Yvette]

So yeah. I. I feel like it made you too self conscious.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

It overly. Which then in. In reverse can make you defensive.

[Megan]

Prideful produces.

[Yvette]

Right.

[Megan]

And too much of it can produce pride.

[Yvette]

It does. Because you're like, okay, I'm never going to be right. And then you want to defend yourself and then, you know, so it's all these layers. But I do believe in accountability. I still believe that there needs to be health accountability. I believe in community for that because I think, I think people can get along and tell themselves anything and that's not healthy.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You need people to, to make yourself accountable to.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

To Tell you about yourself.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I. And the way I've tell you about yourself now is different than the way I used to do it. You know, I use more guidance and wisdom from the Lord. But I think, you know, when I'm real serious about something, I go in, then it's serious because I don't do that as much as I used to.

[Megan]

Do it for sure. And so because I definitely going to talk about our conversation a couple weeks ago. I definitely want to talk about that. But I wanna, I wanna just to go back just to the last couple of years. I'm kind of interested in what your experience has been just as my mom going from. Because 20, 21, boy.

[Yvette]

So when you, when your kids are going through, you're going through. Yeah, I was living in hell because I. Every other day I'm getting a call that you want to enter your life like every other day. It's not like.

[Megan]

And she's not being, she's not exaggerating.

[Yvette]

I'm not being dramatic. It was true. Like, and I'm in. I'm 480something miles away and I couldn't touch you. Like that was, you know, it was, it was very hard for me because I wanted. Going back to what I said. I wanted to fix you. I said, God, my child can't leave here. She got kids. And I, you know, it was just, it was hard. Yeah, it was hard. It was. And I said, you got to tell me what to do. So I did a lot more praying like lord, I need to know how to handle this. Because at any moment something could happen. I mean, you know, it was, it was dark. Yeah, yeah, it was. It was a dark time. And I feel like if I didn't have the Lord. Yeah. If I did not have God, I could have lost it at that time too.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Because I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was helpless. I was help helpless and. And I felt a little lost at that time and. But because God is so faithful. He. He's so faithful that he still teach me how to minister to you.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know what?

[Megan]

I'm saying that because here like when she says like every other day, it really was. And the only thing I would have like I would call my mom. I remember probably almost every single time I was at the airport or about to leave somewhere, I would have like a massive anxiety attack. And it was the, like the only thing that could get me to calm down would be to call you and you would literally have to like, literally like walk me off the ledge, either through text or I'm, like, talking. Talking in the bathroom, in the bat, Like, I was having. I was just tormented for years. Like, tormented.

[Yvette]

Those conversations still sometimes hunt me. Like, I can think back on them, and I'm like, lord, this is what. What God did with me in this time. This is where things kind of shifted with me and you. I really, really went before him on. Tell me what to say. Yeah, just tell me what to say. Because sometimes it was just to listen.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And pray. And other times it's like, tell her this. Say this. So I was. There was a. There was something happening with me during that time with the Lord, as well as you going through. Like, he was taught. He was teaching me to give. You Remember this? Oh, what is the scripture where he says when you're. He's talking. Basically, it says. It's talking about when you're offered up before me, God will give you what to say in the moment. And. But that kept coming to my mind, that he would give me the right thing to say at the right time. And he did. Like, he got us through it.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

It wasn't easy. It was not easy, and he. But he got us through it.

[Megan]

And, like, I think the thing that I remember the most was.

[Yvette]

Was.

[Megan]

You would always. Like, you never spoke. Just your feelings or, like, just you said whatever. Like, you. You spoke truth to me. It was like, I'm gonna tell you the truth. You are. Like, I under. Like, yes. You don't feel. You don't feel. You feel this way. I understand. I know you feel this way. I know you feel like you can't make it, but. But I think. Oh, I don't want to cry, but I remember you being vulnerable and saying, like, you can't, because you were like, you're all I got, and you are my child, and you can't leave me.

[Yvette]

And I didn't want to put that pressure. No. But I had to tell you because.

[Megan]

I didn't have. Like, I wasn't in my right mind enough to know, and I wasn't in a relationship with the Lord to know that, like, this body belongs to him. Right. So, like, I actually don't get to choose what I want to do with this body because it's a temple of the Holy Spirit for him, for his work. I didn't have that mindset because I hadn't submitted to the Lord in that way. But what I did have was I love my mom.

[Yvette]

And I don't want to.

[Megan]

And I don't want to be my Mom. I don't want to hurt my mom. And, and truthfully, like, obviously my kids too.

[Yvette]

Right.

[Megan]

But when you're going through stuff like that, you think not being here is a service to your kids.

[Yvette]

That's what you taught me. I never understood. I'm telling you, people change my mind.

[Megan]

Think that it's selfishness.

[Yvette]

I did.

[Megan]

Yes, in some ways it can be. But you don't understand that when you're being tormented and by the enemy saying that you are so corrupt, you are so like unredeemable.

[Yvette]

Unredeemable.

[Megan]

You can't. Like, you are a disservice to the world, you are just a disservice to your family. You are a disservice to your friends. Those were the thoughts that were tormenting me.

[Yvette]

And you taught me that because that changed my whole outlook on, on people that commit suicide. Because I, I have a friend whose father committed suicide when she was a child. And, and, and she was 60 years old when she told me this. She said even to that day she still was struggling with the fact why would he leave us, his kids? Like, and he hung himself in their basement. Her mother found him and she, she, even at 60 years old was still like traumatized by that. Like it bothered her, it hurt her. And until you told me that. Did I finally get it? In your mind, you're thinking it's the best thing. You feel like you're the problem and it's going to be the best thing for other people. You're not just trying to escape hurt, you're trying to relieve others pain.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I never saw it like that. I never saw it because I just never saw it like that. You know, And I, I was like, oh, I get it now.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And then that helped me have more compassion for you. Even though sometimes I wanted to be angry. Like, why can't I fix this?

[Megan]

Yeah. With her.

[Yvette]

Why can't she just snap out of this? I don't understand. You know, I was, I was, you know, I was going to the Lord sometimes angry and mad, like, well, I got to go through this with her, you know, that, that. Why is the enemy torturing my child like this? You know, to the point where he. It's like she doesn't. She wants to leave me.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, and.

[Megan]

But you saying that like again, that vulnerability to be like. Like, I know you never wanted it to make it about you. I knew that. But there were some times where it was like that was your, that was your only, that was your only thing you could say to me, because I was not coming out of it right. You know what I mean? Like, there were. There were many days that were tears. Yeah. And like, you know, I always say, like, that time I. Oh, God. I feel like I will always hold grief in a way for just what I put you and Jordan through and not. I know you guys, like, loved me and all this stuff, but, man, coming out of that, I'm like, I can't imagine, you know, because you guys were the only ones that knew, you know, you and Jordan were the only ones that knew all of it. What was really happening with me and Jordan had to see me in some, like, really bad spots. You know what I mean? Hurting myself and just, you know, and I just. If it weren't for you too, like, loving me.

[Yvette]

Because God told me at that time, this is not the time to be hard on her. Like, it's the time to just love her through it like that. It was. It was the time to love you through it. And. And he opened my eyes to something that I had not been. Been able to understand for years and years. So I think the compassion, the vulnerability, the. Also the praying, the fasting, the going before screaming out, crying out to the Lord.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, for him to protect you and hide you. I told you that that way back when I was scared that something was going to happen to you. The scripture that God gave me was out of Psalm 91. And I literally prayed this all the time. I still to this day, I pray it for your household. I pray for everybody that he's given the angels of God charge over us to keep us in all our ways. And I, you know, lest we dash our foot up against the stone, they would bear us up in their hands. And I know that. That he has given angels charge over you since you were born. Right. And I would just say, father, charge them to protect her, to keep her safe from all hurt, harm, and danger. And I did that a lot during that time because I couldn't be here, but God could be is here and his angels were here, you know, And I feel like it was a daily fight for a while, but then when that strength came, like I. I tell people all the time and that the things that I'm proud of you about is not what most people see is the little. Is the big things that are the little things that are big things. Yeah. That I see behind the scenes. And every step that you make towards being better is. I don't care how small it is. Is major to God because it's getting you closer to your. Your breakthroughs and your deliverances. I remember who one time I was going to smack everything out of you. And the Holy Spirit just kept my hands off of you this time because I was like this chick here, you. I was telling you you were being manipulative. You were a teenager. I was like, you just being manipulated. You just manipulate, manipulative. You just like. Well, you did. You got Deliverance Ministry. Why don't you just deliver me? I was like, this chick right here is going to lose her life. Jesus. But I thought, you know, sometimes I wanted to do that.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

I wanted to be the deliverer for you. And even as you became an adult, you share some stuff with me that I didn't even know that happened to you when you were a teenager. Right. And. But you knew your mama was a little crazy too. And you probably say, people, somebody's gonna lose their life today if I told her this for sure. And you probably would have been right. But it hurt me because the thing as a mother, when your kids are going through, you are going through no matter what. They never stop being your child.

[Megan]

Nope.

[Yvette]

They never stop. Your love doesn't end when they become adults. You just have to be more hands off because they are adults and give them even more over to God. But you still have that mothering in you. You're still their mother. And so, I mean, I don't believe any person that has a child if, you know, if they love their children, if they're going through, you going through.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, but it's okay. Okay. Because God do. We were going to be mother. And that we were going to be. We were going to go through when our kids go through. And he is well able to keep us during that time.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

I have learned the keeping power of God. He is a keeper, man. He is a keeper.

[Megan]

If there is one thing I know for the last five years at least he's a keeper. I mean, he is a keeping God. He keeps you.

[Yvette]

Yes.

[Megan]

Because I could have lost yo. I actually probably did lose my mind, but I could have lost my life.

[Yvette]

You could have lost your life, truly.

[Megan]

But God kept. And I just think that it is so important because if it wasn't for having a mom that steps in the gap, you know what I'm saying? And prayed. You know what I'm saying? Like, if you weren't a prayer, like, I mean, in God's sovereignty and he could have saved me, I'm sure. But I'm just like, dang, man. Well, how much my life would have been different if I didn't have a praying mother. If I didn't have a mother who actually, like, knew how to fight spiritually, who had to. Who had eyes to see things in. In. In the spirit, like, my life would have been different.

[Yvette]

Yeah. I. I asked the Lord sometimes, like, I have some. I had some disappointments, like, that didn't happen for me in my life. I. I wanted, like, five, six kids. I wanted a big family because I kind of grew up by myself. And. And then I had you. And then, you know what I went through. I couldn't have many more kids. And I said, lord, why? You only gave me one. I recently was talking kind of dealing with that, and the Lord was showing me the anointing on your life is so great that that needs to be my concentration. Like, if. If I had other kids, it. The capacity.

[Megan]

It'd be hard for you to steward it.

[Yvette]

Yeah, it'll be hard for me to steward that capacity because I'm here for you. Like, I'm. Like, I'm here for you. I mean, not just for you.

[Megan]

Yeah, for sure.

[Yvette]

Other things, too. But. But what I'm saying is you are a part of my ministry. Do you understand what I'm saying?

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And he has shown me that over the last few years, that she's a part of your ministry. And this is an assignment. It's not just your child.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

But your assignment.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And so I don't take that lightly. And I understand now why some things didn't happen.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

The way I wanted them to happen. You know.

[Megan]

What'S up, you guys? I hope you enjoyed this episode. Thank you so much for listening and I hope you felt encouraged in some way. Be sure to like and follow into Tality podcast everywhere you listen to your favorite shows. Follow into Tality on Apple podcasts or Spotify and be sure to turn on your post notifications so that you can be the first to listen whenever there's a new episode.