EP 71: A Mother's Prayer Part 2

Summary

Podcast Summary: In Totality with Megan Ashley
Episode: EP 71 – A Mother's Prayer Part 2
Release Date: May 20, 2025

In this emotionally charged and deeply insightful episode of "In Totality with Megan Ashley," host Megan Ashley engages in a heartfelt conversation with her mother, Yvette, continuing their discussion from the previous episode. Titled "A Mother's Prayer Part 2," this episode delves into themes of personal growth, humility, faith, forgiveness, and the profound bond between mother and daughter as they navigate life's challenges together.

1. Navigating Personal Transitions and Growth

The episode opens with Megan expressing her vulnerability, admitting to recent emotional struggles amid significant life changes, including her divorce and the transition to podcasting alone. Yvette, Megan’s mother, provides a maternal perspective on Megan's journey, reflecting on the progress she has observed over the past year.

Notable Quote:
"I'm thinking about something Haley said when we were in London... Now this is post porch." [01:20]

Yvette acknowledges Megan's growth, noting, "I'm very happy with the progress...because, you know, there will be times that me and you would get in heated discussions..." [01:43]

2. Embracing Humility and Managing Pride

Megan and Yvette discuss instances of pride and how they handle conflicts. Yvette shares examples of their disagreements and how they have learned to resolve them more swiftly, attributing their improved relationship to spiritual growth and humility.

Notable Quote:
"When I get real mad, it's scary." – Megan [02:16]
"God is actually doing some work in you." – Yvette [03:46]

3. The Role of Forgiveness and Letting Go of Offense

A significant portion of the conversation focuses on the importance of forgiveness. Yvette recounts a pivotal moment when she realized the weight of her own sins and the necessity of letting go of grudges to foster a healthier relationship with God and others.

Notable Quote:
"He told me... 'He said, nobody has ever done or will ever do to you what you have already done to me. So you don't have the right to hold anybody.'" – Yvette [07:44]

Megan adds, "If you are offended, I’m talking about that offense where you just feel like you can't let it go... think on the cross, I think it will prevent you from responding in a way that's dishonoring to him." [08:53]

4. Building a Relationship with God: Reverence and Friendship

The dialogue transitions to exploring the balance between reverence and friendship with God. Yvette emphasizes the necessity of maintaining a reverential fear of God while also nurturing a personal, intimate relationship with Him.

Notable Quote:
"He must come, examining me... remember that it's your sin that nailed me on that cross." – Yvette [07:44]
"A reverential fear is the first step to wisdom." – Megan [16:00]

5. Understanding Purpose and Spiritual Warfare

Yvette introduces the concept of spiritual warfare, discussing the authority believers possess to resist evil and uphold God’s purpose in their lives. She underscores the significance of recognizing one's divine authority as taught in Kenneth Hagin's "The Authority of the Believer."

Notable Quote:
"The Holy Spirit is to lead and guide us into all truth." – Yvette [23:12]
"He is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost." – Yvette [25:27]

6. The Power and Presence of the Holy Spirit

Megan and Yvette delve into the transformative power of the Holy Spirit, sharing personal testimonies of how the Spirit has sustained them through dark times. Megan recounts her battle with suicidal thoughts and how immersing herself in God's Word and the Holy Spirit's guidance helped her find hope and strength.

Notable Quote:
"The Holy Spirit would just bring up Word in me, like just remind me of God's Word." – Megan [34:09]
"The weapons of my warfare are not carnal... and making a readiness to revenge all disobedience once your obedience is made perfect." – Yvette [35:08]

7. Overcoming Pride Through Divine Love

The conversation shifts to how genuine love for God can diminish pride. Yvette shares experiences where embracing God's unconditional love led her to prioritize Him over her own ego, fostering a more humble and obedient spirit.

Notable Quote:
"When you love him, you want to be better." – Yvette [47:12]
"I want to live more holy than I did when I just feared going to hell." – Megan [48:22]

8. The Role of Parenting in Spiritual Formation

Yvette reflects on her role as a mother, emphasizing that her primary focus was to instill a strong relationship with God in Megan rather than merely aiming for her to be a "good mom." This foundation has empowered Megan to become a confident and faithful adult.

Notable Quote:
"For me, the emphasis wasn't just on you being a good mom so that I could rise up and call you blessed, but the emphasis and how you raised me was that I would rise up and I would know that the Lord my God is real and like he's holy and he is to be taken seriously." – Megan [55:20]

9. Final Thoughts and Encouragement

As the episode concludes, Megan and Yvette offer mutual praise and encouragement. Yvette commends Megan for her resilience and influence, expressing pride in her mother's own spiritual journey. They emphasize the importance of living authentically and allowing God to work through their vulnerabilities.

Notable Quote:
"The greatest miracle I've ever seen is him saving me." – Yvette [37:49]
"Just entrusting myself to the Lord... my job is to trust." – Megan [53:35]

Conclusion

"A Mother's Prayer Part 2" is a profound exploration of faith, personal growth, and the enduring bond between mother and daughter. Through their transparent and vulnerable dialogue, Megan and Yvette illuminate the transformative power of humility, forgiveness, and a deep, reverent relationship with God. Listeners are left with a sense of encouragement and a deeper understanding of how divine love and the Holy Spirit play pivotal roles in overcoming personal struggles and fostering spiritual maturity.

Key Takeaways:

• Embrace humility and manage pride to nurture relationships and personal growth.
• Practice forgiveness by letting go of offenses through the lens of God's atonement.
• Balance reverence and friendship in your relationship with God to deepen faith.
• Recognize and exercise the authority granted by the Holy Spirit in spiritual warfare.
• Allow divine love to overcome pride, fostering a more obedient and humble spirit.
• Understand the foundational role of parenting in establishing a strong relationship with God.
• Trust in God's promise and roles, focusing on His guidance rather than self-reliance.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "I'm thinking about something Haley said when we were in London... Now this is post porch." – Yvette [01:20]
• "When I get real mad, it's scary." – Megan [02:16]
• "He said, nobody has ever done or will ever do to you what you have already done to me." – Yvette [07:44]
• "A reverential fear is the first step to wisdom." – Megan [16:00]
• "The Holy Spirit would just bring up Word in me, like just remind me of God's Word." – Megan [34:09]
• "For me, the emphasis wasn't just on you being a good mom so that I could rise up and call you blessed..." – Megan [55:20]
• "The greatest miracle I've ever seen is him saving me." – Yvette [37:49]

This episode serves as a testament to the strength found in faith, the importance of familial support, and the endless journey of spiritual discovery. Whether you are a seasoned believer or embarking on your spiritual path, Megan and Yvette's conversation offers valuable insights and encouragement to live a life wholly devoted to God—in Totality.

Transcript

[Yvette]

The new McCrispy strip is here. Dip approved by Ketchup, tangy barbecue, Honey mustard, honey mustard, Sprite, McFlurry, Big Mac sauce, double dipped in buffalo and ranch, More ranch and creamy chili. McCrispy strip dip now at McDonald's.

[Megan]

What's up, you guys? Okay, listen, I'm sorry. I had to take a break, okay? It was just too much. My face was melting. I was crying my face off. I just had to take a break. But back with my favorite person in the world, my mother, Yvette is here for another episode. Well, continuing the conversation, we're just going to jump right back in. I want to talk about kind of from your vantage point where, like, how have you kind of perceived what this last year has been like with me doing in totality the transition and going through all the stuff that I went through in 2023, the divorce and, you know, the podcast switch and doing in totality and being a single mom and kind of starting this journey in ministry or whatever it is that I'm. That I'm doing.

[Yvette]

I'm thinking about something Haley said when we were in London. Pre. What did she say? Pre. Pre porch.

[Megan]

Post porch. Pre porch. Yeah, I, like, we talked a lot about pre porch. Now it's post porch.

[Yvette]

Now this is post porch.

[Megan]

Yeah. As a. As a mom, kind of. Yeah. Just what your whole vantage point, seeing me as. As a mom, like, you know me better than anybody else in the world.

[Yvette]

And so from my. My point of view with you is that I'm just. I'm very happy with the progress. Right. I've seen progress. Definitely progress. Because, you know, there will be times that me and you would get in heated discussions and, you know, we both can operate in pride and be prideful with it and get hot, and then, you know, when I want to end something, I'm gonna be super strong. You. You always say when I get real mad, it's scary.

[Megan]

It is. It 100% is.

[Haley]

It is.

[Yvette]

But I don't get. I don't get real mad often.

[Megan]

No, you don.

[Yvette]

You don't. So. But.

[Megan]

But when she does, it goes 0 to 100.

[Yvette]

It does. It does. And I feel like I had everyone because I rarely get there.

[Megan]

Yeah, you really get there.

[Yvette]

So I'm justifying it. But, you know, but I think for me, it's watching little things that become big things. Like, I remember we were. I can remember this exactly. We were at Mama's house in Pickerington recently, like within the last year, and I said something you didn't like and Then you came strong at me, and I kind of looked at you, and I was upset, but I wasn't saying nothing. And I feel like the Holy Ghost must have convicted you, because then you came over and grabbed me and hugged you. And I'm sitting like this. I ain't want to hug you. And then I hugged you because I was operating in pride, too. But I just think those kind of little things where we resolve things faster and we don't. I don't. I don't ever hold people, though. Well, I'm gonna talk about one time I did. But as a whole, that's not a thing for me. That More. More of a thing that you have. Yeah. For you. But. But I've seen those kind of things, like the. The repenting faster or the. The reflecting. Like, you sent me this long text on the airline in London.

[Megan]

Yep. I was thinking about that. I literally. That was the first thing I thought.

[Yvette]

I was like, where did this come from? If I've ever been this. If I've ever done this, I want to say I'm sorry, you know, And. And those kind of things mean a lot. Because what. It. It's not that I need them, but it helps me to know where. What God. That God is actually doing some work in you.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Right. And those are the things I'm proud about. Those are the things that I see. And I know that. I know a lot is hard. Like, I know, like, a lot of people don't get people like us. I'm not like you in a. In some ways, but some ways we are a lot alike, where we overthink, we think a lot. Like, I tell people, my mind doesn't really shut up. I really have to get in prayer and relax and be by myself and put my focus on one thing. Because my mind is always going before I go to sleep after I wake up thinking I'm. I'm a very reflective person. I think a lot.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I just. For years thought everybody was like that. But that's. You know, over years, I realized people are not. And so when I see you make pivots towards humility and trying to do that, because I know it's not easy for you. I know with you, you. You would quickly want to defend your point and defend yourself and defend yourself. But I feel like when you have had time to reflect back, God is using that time to talk directly to you about things, and I'm seeing that more. More than not.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Because we communicate in a more mature way. Yeah, I. I see maturity and Wisdom rising up. And I always say wisdom, like the word says wisdom is the principal thing I used. We were just talking about this too, that I would always tell you, Megan ain't got to make the same mistakes I made. You know, there's a lot of mistakes out there. If you can learn from wisdom, if you can take the wisdom I'm trying to give you, you can save yourself that headache. There's too many other ones that you can make. Not, don't make the same mistakes I've made. So I, I try to share things with you about my life that I don't want to see you fall into, but where we're different sometimes it's, it could be challenging. But I, I, when I see progress and I always have seen it, I've always seen it a lot this year in, in little pivots more towards God and towards self growth. You know what I'm saying? Because until you really get that mirror and really see how, how you may look to other people, that's important. You know, I think you brought this up when we were talking earlier this morning about something that was said to me about me when I was younger raising you and how it hurt my feelings. You remember what I'm talking about, where my pastor came to me and I know if that that had happened with you, you would have been majorly offended and you probably wouldn't talk to them people for sure no more. But I don't like I operate in the reverse. I'm just hurt first and then I'm dealing with it. So what happened was I was told that the, my community at the time, that some people were feeling as though they had to tolerate me because I was a lot, you know, I told you I was over overzealous and that hurt me really bad. And I didn't realize this second part of the story that I'm getting ready to tell you that that was the thing that led to this one part I normally did. I never had really a problem forgiving people, right. But I was holding onto this thing a little long and I was poking my lip out about it and I was just not in a good spot for a little bit. And God let me poke my lip out a little bit. But I will never forget I had shared it with the person that was in leadership over me at the time and she shared a story with me and it helped me to open me up to the Holy Spirit. But I will never forget this day. The Holy Spirit told me, he said, Yvette, he said it was your Sin that nailed me on that cross. It was you that did it. He said, stop thinking about everybody else, but your sins nailed me on that cross. He said, I want you to remember something and if you love God, you would know that this impacted me. This would impact you so strongly. He said, nobody has ever done or will ever do to you what you have already done to me. So you don't have the right to hold anybody.

[Megan]

Yeah, that'd keep you at the fence, honey.

[Yvette]

That's something.

[Megan]

If you know what he did, if you know what he did and if you love him, the magnitude of what he did. Come on, love him.

[Yvette]

Come on.

[Megan]

It will keep you. That put me on my face and it won't even. And it's not even. It's not even the thing of like. Because offense is going to happen. I think we have to stop trying to act like it doesn't. If you're offended, then you're in sin or something. No, it's. It's your response to the offense.

[Yvette]

Yeah.

[Megan]

So it's not just. Not ever being offended, but it's what. What is my response to offense. And I think if you can practice your first response being to think about what God has done for you in the simple example of the cross. If you just stop. If you just start there, think about what the cross, like, think about the cross. Think about the spotless, sinless one. Not. And not just the nails and the whipping and the crown of thorns and the piercing of his. Not on that. Think about all of God's wrath being poured out on him. And that's what. Because that's what.

[Yvette]

Who didn't deserve it.

[Megan]

That's what we deserved. And he willingly took all that wrath and place it on him like. So if you would just start there, it will keep you from responding in a sinful way towards someone because you're offended. It really will. And it takes work to do that.

[Yvette]

It's work.

[Megan]

I'm not saying I bat at 100 on it. Cause I don't.

[Yvette]

But.

[Megan]

But it is something that I try to practice being like, okay, I'm offended. I feel some type of way. Because I think it's important that we feel what we feel. Okay, you feel all right. Process that. But if you are, I'm talking about that offense where you, like, you just feel like you can't let it go. Like it's really bothering you. If you just take a moment and think on the cross, I think it will prevent you from responding in a way that's dishonoring to him.

[Yvette]

And sinful.

[Megan]

Yes.

[Yvette]

Because he did this for us. It put me on my face and I never again allowed something to linger. It was unusual anyway. But I let it linger too long. And the Holy Spirit is like, no, remember this. Like, remember this. And God deals with us all according to our personalities, too. I remember one time he told me, you've had a. If a mentally ill person, like, you knew that they were, you know, disabled, mentally stepped on your foot 15 times, you would excuse it. He said, one of the things that you have to learn about the world is your expectations are too high.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You have to think of them like you think of those.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Those people. And. And I'm saying all that to say God trains us.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

In how to live healthy before him. He does it the way that if you let him, he will allow you to grow in him in a way that is glorious. Like, it's just. I love. I love my relationship with God. I love it. I love him.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

I. There is. I feel like I've always had him, like, he has always been there, and I'm very aware of it.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

I can't explain it the way I feel it, but I. I really love him. And it makes me want to please him. It makes me want to. I pray a lot, Father. Never allow me to bring shame to your name, but only glory. Help me not be a disappointment. Help me not be a liability to the kingdom of God, but an asset. Those are the things I want to be because I want. You deserve it, and I know you deserve it. And I think when we. It help, it humbles us. People too much compare themselves to other people when you really should compare yourself to Jesus. That's it. And then when I think people. Also, the Bible tells us never to think more of yourself than you all. In the church, we are thinking way too much of ourselves still. God is not at the wheel, really. I mean, because we have.

[Megan]

You got to have a sober mind.

[Yvette]

You got to. And you cannot be on the throne of your own heart. Jesus has to be on that throne. And don't think more of yourself than you should. That's humbling. When that happens, then you don't. You're able to just deal with people in a. In a peaceable way where it's really out of love. I ask God too, because I think people are really fearful too. And I think fear has a lot to do with the way people react.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And the Bible says, perfect love cast out fear. So pray that God perfects his love in, you know, pray stuff like That I, I, I try to teach people too, to pray the word of God. Like, create in me a clean heart, oh God, renew a right spirit in me. I want to be more like you. Quote those words and mean it, be sincere when you go before God and.

[Megan]

To have the humility of what that.

[Yvette]

Brings, of what it's going to bring.

[Megan]

Because when you ask the Lord, don't just be praying these, these, these beautiful scriptures, right? And, but not really ex, like if, if you're asking for the Lord to creating you a clean heart and you're, you're praying the way David said to say, lord, search my heart and if.

[Yvette]

You find any wicked way, any wicked.

[Megan]

Way of everlasting to the way of everlasting, don't just say that and then be offended about how he shows you stuff. Because what I'm learning is, is that the more I am approaching the Lord in intimacy with him and the more we're having this relation and I'm seeing Him, he's showing me me that's what.

[Yvette]

He going to do.

[Megan]

And, and everything that I'm saying ain't like Him. But he's showing you because he wants you to be like him. He's like, I'm not pointing this out to you so that you can be in condemnation. I'm not pointing this out to you so that you can be in shame. I'm pointing this out to you because I'm after your holiness.

[Yvette]

Yes.

[Megan]

I'm after you to look like me.

[Yvette]

He, and he wants to, he wants you to be his friend as he's your friend. And he don't call everybody friend. Okay. So some of the people that I, I want to be like, I want to be like Ena who walked with God till he wasn't like that. He got close.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

He just, he could, his body could not anymore contain perfection. He was so close.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

That he just had to go on like, I admire that.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Like that. Because God wants that. I think he created humanity for himself because he wanted something that was so close to him that he could fellowship with. And that's what we are here for, is to be, to fellowship with God and to be his friend.

[Haley]

And he.

[Yvette]

And let him be a friend to you. And the way you do that. And this goes back to something else me and you have talked about. You can't just glory in the resurrection, but also in the fellowship of his suffering. That's how you become friend. Friends with God. You have to, you have to be willing to embrace both. Take up your cross, David.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Like he did.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

That's how you get to be like it.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

It's not all in this. Making me happy every day.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Megan]

Because he ain't after your happiness. He wants you.

[Yvette]

He's after your holiness.

[Megan]

He's after your holiness. And I think that I remember going through the awe of God with. With the Patreon community. And I remember John Bevere talking about what friendship with the Lord looks like. And he was. Like, he wasn't everybody's friend. Come on. And the. In the. In the. Like, he was a friend to those who had reverence him. He was a friend to those who feared him. And I think that because we project the context of our culture and our. In our society onto the context of God and how we're supposed to live as Christians, you cannot do that because culture tells you you can't love somebody that you fear. But this word tells us that fear is the first step to wisdom. Like, if you want wisdom, you got to fear the Lord. And it's a reverential fear. It's not. I'm scared of him, but I want, like, I want y' all to be clear. Like, when you read this word, people who came into the presence of God, there was a fear because he's holy. Isaiah sees him and says, whoa. I mean, it scared the mess out of him.

[Yvette]

That's why you got to look at him. You.

[Megan]

We, like, we have to understand. We are. We have to live with a reverence and an awe of who he is. Because, yes, he's our Father in heaven. Yes, He. We want to strive for him to be our friend. Yes. All the things. Like, we have a relationship with him, and we can go to him and be honest and transparent and vulnerable. But we cannot forget he is God.

[Yvette]

And don't get.

[Megan]

Period.

[Yvette]

Don't make him comment. Don't. I was just telling. I was just telling. We were talking. Me and you were talking about that today. Like. Like positioning. Like, I'm your me. Because you've grown up and you're an adult. Me and you have become friends.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Right. But don't ever forget I'm your mother.

[Megan]

Correct.

[Yvette]

So there's a position fear, a reverential fear.

[Megan]

I mean, and it used to just be fear. I ain't gonna hold you. There were times where it just was fear.

[Yvette]

It should have been. Maybe.

[Megan]

And there's still whatever. You know, I'm confident she can knock my block off. So. But. But even. But I'm just saying. But there was. Yes, there is a certain reverence that I Have that. I'm not gonna make her so common to me. Yes, we have grown because of experience that, like, I'm growing up, so I'm more mature. I'm in my 30s now. I got three running a household, all this stuff. So now we can relate differently than when I was just a teenager. Because when I was a teenager, I couldn't stand you, you couldn't stand me. We living in two different planets. You know what I'm saying? But now it's like, oh, okay, I understand. But although there is a friendship, so I can talk to. I can talk to you about anything. I tell you everything. There really ain't a whole lot you don't know about me, truthfully. But there's still a reverence for who you are.

[Yvette]

And I think in this culture, as a mother, I think in this culture today, that is lost. And that's what I told you I've been on. Because people need to go through the Old Testament and some of this stuff just to understand how serious God is about certain things. We talk about grace a lot, and I think we lose that reverence for God. And I'm big on. I'm going back through Ezekiel again right now. You know, that's my book. But the Lord has taught me a lot out of it just on how, you know, how serious he is about you knowing that he is the Lord God.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, the First Commandment. I am the Lord thy God who brought the. Out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shall have no other God before me. He is real about that.

[Megan]

Real serious.

[Yvette]

Real serious about it. You cannot have another God before him. And that's even yourself.

[Megan]

Hello.

[Yvette]

That is even you.

[Megan]

Hello.

[Yvette]

You cannot be before him. Get yourself off that throne because it belongs to him. He is still king. He is still God. Even though he's your friend, you. But this is the thing, too, because.

[Megan]

People spend too much time being on the throne. When you need to be on an altar.

[Yvette]

On an altar. Okay, down on your face.

[Megan]

You need to be on an altar.

[Yvette]

Come on. Bowing.

[Megan]

That's what the Lord's like. Oh, you so busy sitting on a throne. You need to be on your face.

[Yvette]

Because this is me, me, me. I remember what I think it was Joyce Byers years ago. She was like. She's like. I was like, what about me? What about me? What about me? Me, Me.

[Megan]

Yeah. It's like, what, Centering yourself too much in your life. And that's one of one thing that I know. It has been my biggest Struggle. Biggest revelation is like in. We talked about this before, talking about being so held accountable and being so self aware. Because self awareness was a big thing that you wanted me to have. Like, no, you need to be aware. Where were you at? What were you doing?

[Yvette]

How did you.

[Megan]

How did you contribute to whatever position you found yourself in? Like, it was always a process of, first, let me deal with you before we deal with what somebody else did. We're going to talk about you. But. But in doing that, it produced me to center myself too much in everything. Not just in air, like not in. Just in search, but situations. But it's like, yeah, you just put yourself at the center. And. And I'm learning that the Lord, that's the throne that the Lord wants to be on. He wants to be at the center.

[Yvette]

He does.

[Megan]

He wants your thoughts to be of him and on him and what pleases him and what honors him. And not how does this make me feel? And how does this make me look? And how. And they didn't see me and me, like, like you said, me, me, me, me, me. But no, like, how does this glorify the Lord? How does this honor him? How does this bring. Like you said, how do I bring glory to your name, God, in this situation.

[Yvette]

And we need. We need to understand purpose. Because I feel like a lot of people are aimlessly wandering out here. Right.

[Megan]

For sure, aimlessly.

[Yvette]

But when you understand purpose, you have a. The ability to draw a line of demarcation and saying, enemy, you cannot cross over this. I will not allow you. Because I understand what the purpose God has with this and I will not let you ruin it. I know I'm a big warfare person, but it's. I get one. I remember somebody told me you're gonna write a book one day on how to kill a devil. Yeah. How to kill a man, you mean.

[Megan]

Right, right, right, right.

[Yvette]

So, yeah, I. There are things that I have done that with and he can't cross that line with me. I know the devil get mad when I wake up because at the end of the day, no, you already know you can't come with me with that no more.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Because I have conquered that.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I drew that line.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And that's it.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Period. I'm done with that thing and I'm going to be done with it because you're not coming with. To me that. With that again.

[Megan]

I think that's something that you've taught me. Just in like. And maturing in the things of the Lord is like, there is an Authority that we have to take up. Yes, there is an authority that you have, being a child of God, you have the authority to tell the enemy you can't go no further. That's enough.

[Yvette]

Kenneth Hagin wrote a book called the Authority of the Believer. Not only did God invest his Holy Spirit within us and gave us power, but he also gave us the authority to use it. So it's not that you just got a gun on you. You got the authority to use that in situations to help you grow and to make your life successful. In Him.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You don't only just have power. Do something with that power. Don't just let it be sitting there.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, he gave it to you for a reason.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, like he said, the Holy Spirit is to lead and guide us into all truth. I want to talk a lot about that, too. Truth. But we need God in that way, and he's given us what we need.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, you're not helpless. You're not helpless.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

He's giving you. Dude. I know y' all when I say dude, him is power, but that. Dynamite power. That. And because we know it's dynamite. Listen to this. I was. You know, I'm going through Acts. So the day of Pentecost, that wasn't. Oh, the Holy Spirit here. No. That building shook. It was dry. It was like. It was.

[Megan]

I still don't know what tongues.

[Yvette]

A fire looked like.

[Megan]

You know, what is that?

[Yvette]

But it wasn't just a little thing. And that. And we saw also in Acts that he kept filling them with the Holy Spirit. It wasn't just one time. One time. And so when Paul and them were praying for boldness to deal with the threats that were happening to them, they came together in the building. Building shook again. And God filled them all with the Holy Spirit. It's like this continued to happen. So this is not. This is a dramatic. This is a powerful ability because it is the very power that raised Jesus from the dead is living on the inside. There is nothing that we can not conquer in this world with the Holy Ghost, who is not a thing. It ain't a person. The Holy Ghost. No. It's the third person of the. Of the Godhead.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, a real person.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

In you. To help you live this life.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Of faith.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You have the power. That's why God expects more out of you. You know, people want to talk about grace, and, you know, we got the grace of God. Praise God. We do. Thank you. It's new in every day, his grace and mercy. Right. But he's giving you the power and the authority to be able to fight things that you couldn't have done when those sins were just covered up, they were still there. He's annihilated our sin, but also given us the power be able to live. Right. We have that power now that's living on the inside of us to do these things. And he expects you to use it. Like, I, I guess me and Jordan were talking and we were talking about, like I, I always bring this up, you know, he said, you know, now, you know, it was said that, you know, if you basically had sex with another person, you, you know, committed adultery, but if you didn't look on a person with lust in your heart, I consider that, that still as if you committed the act. He said if you, you know, if you blasphemous somebody's name or if you. Not that you use somebody's name. Wrong. Right. And you do all manner of evil against their name, you may as well have killed them already.

[Haley]

Yep.

[Megan]

So it's like, so it's giving us, it's taking the, it's taking up another level. Yeah.

[Yvette]

Because you know why he's giving you the power to live, right?

[Megan]

Yep.

[Yvette]

So you have the power now that they did not have. Yep.

[Megan]

And that's why, and that's why we have to pray. Like, like, I love that you pointed out in, in acts that they were constantly being filled by the Holy Spirit. It wasn't just like a one time thing, but it was a constant like. And so I'm always praying to like, Lord, like, holy Spirit, stand up fully in me as I do this, as I do this, as I, you know what I'm saying? Like, I want to rely on the Holy Spirit to help me more than just relying on myself. You know what I'm saying? Like, give me Holy Spirit, give the courage, Holy Spirit, give me the patience, Holy Spirit, give me the kindness, Holy Spirit, give me the power to do da da, da, da da. Like, I don't want to do it out of my own strength. I want to have this, this great exchange where I'm exchanging my weakness for God's perfected strength. I'm exchanging my mess for his greatness. You know what I'm saying? Like, Holy Spirit, fill me and give me the power. Like, I think we need to be praying that, like allow the Holy Spirit to fill you when you have to do all the time, but especially when you have to do things that you know, you can't do out of your own strength.

[Yvette]

And, and he would. He ain't gonna make a life for you where he ain't needed. But yeah, I, I think that we have to understand that the Holy Spirit is here for a reason. Yeah, for a reason. And that we would operate in that. And it builds our testimony. And when you have, when you, when you grow in God and you see that you're different than you were a year ago. Right. That's a testimony not only to other people, but to yourself. So that you're encouraged to. When the. Again you have something to rely on, to look back on, to say, God got me through that. He will get me through this as well. Sure.

[Megan]

That's again, God is telling the Israelites all through the Old Testament, remember, remember, remember, remember. I don't know if it was David, but it said in Psalms, it was like, I will think. I will, I will think on your, your good works, like I will remember your good works. Like we have to, we have to. To make a. A effort to remember. Because when you're in pain, remember you said this all the time. When you're in pain, all you can think of is pain. It's, it's very hard when you're struggling, when you're suffering, when you're going through it. It's. It's very hard to remember that you want. Wasn't there. Like, you, like, you know what I'm saying? It's so hard to remember when you're going through hard times that you weren't going through a hard time before that hard time came. It's very hard. But it's, it's. It takes the, the. It takes remembering in the Holy Spirit to help bring up those things back to you, to remember that like this wasn't always like this and God got me through this before or a situation.

[Yvette]

You know, and it won't always be.

[Megan]

It won't always.

[Yvette]

You remember. I think one of the last messages I preached was, it has come to pass. And when I preached that, I was like, both the good and the bad, nothing stays y. It has come to pass. Yeah, like it's not going to stay. So even though you are in a bad moment, this will not always be. I remember I told a young lady she was struggling because her husband had, you know, he, he did all kind of hairs. And she was really struggling at the time, just struggling, struggling. And I said, you won't always feel this way. I said, you won't. And this was a few years down the road and she called Me from another state. She said, yvette, after all them years, she said, but today I'm remembering what you told me when I was in that bad situation, that I would not always feel this way. She said, and it's so. You were so right.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Like, you have to remind yourself.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

That it will not always be this way, especially if you're trusting the Lord. Like you. He's brought you out before. He will do it again. Like the song said. He'll do. Like, some songs are just simple songs. Be getting you through. He'll do it again, friends. He'll do it again. He will do it just like he did before.

[Megan]

He'll do it again because he's unchanging.

[Yvette]

Right.

[Megan]

And I think, and I've talked about this a lot, too, that one of the points that God has pointed out in my pride was, you know, he convicted me. I feel like the Lord was just like, yeah, you believe that for everybody else, but you don't believe that for you. And it's pride because you think that you are so special that I'm going to change my nature, my character for you. So you think that you are so special in your sin that I'm not gonna redeem you, that I'm gonna just. I'm gonna treat you different. You're the black sheep. I'm just gonna treat you differently than everyone else. And you're centering yourself too much. I am God, and I do not change. You are uniquely made, but you are not that special. Get off the throne. Literally. Get off the throne.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Megan]

This isn't about you.

[Yvette]

The Lord was showing me something this, this month or between last month and this month, like, I, I. There's certain struggles that I have had meant, you know, just mentally, too, about things letting the enemy, you know, coming in and. And it was something like. I don't remember exactly what it was, but what I remember, like how this came to me. I don't know why it came to me, but the Lord said people have to remember that if you're working with the Lord all the time to be better. Right. Eventually, you'll look at and look back and say, oh, something that used to bother me all the time. I don't even deal with that no more. Like it fell off somewhere and you don't necessarily know where it fell. It fell off.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

But you know that you. He'll bring it back to your remembrance that you ain't done that in a long, long time.

[Megan]

Listen, I'm telling y' all no lie. And we talked about this. In the previous conversation, I contemplated suicide every single day. And when I really. And I'm not saying that this happens for everybody sometimes, it might be a process. Yes. Counseling, therapy, medication, whatever. Whatever you need to do to get yourself healthy, do it. But for me, I remember when I said yes to the Lord for real on that porch. I did not from that day have one episode of wanting to take my life like literally. He just, I don't know, that was an encounter. It really was. Like I still could, to this day, can't really understand what happened. But what I do know is, is that the more I filled myself with this, the more I thought on him, the more I spent my time filling myself with the things of the Lord. I do believe that it didn't make room for the enemy to plant any type of thoughts in me because I was remembering His Word. I was filling yourself up, you know.

[Yvette]

Yeah, you were, you were making yourself available.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And filling yourself up so that like when the house got clean, you didn't just leave it empty and where some other greater demons could come in, you were starting to. To feel. Yeah, that room, you know, with him.

[Megan]

Yeah. And so, and then when, even when I would have temptations of being sad or anxious or like a depressiveness would start to come, the Holy Spirit would just bring up Word in me, like just remind me of God's Word. And I would just meditate on it in my mind and just think on it over and over, like almost in an obsessive way so that I did not. Cuz you can't think a whole bunch of things at one time.

[Yvette]

You can't.

[Megan]

Yeah, you can think a bunch of things in, in a short span of time. Like it can go from thought to thought, thought to thought. But if you're concentrating on one thought, it's very hard to think something else. And so I would just keep repeating scripture in my mind and I didn't have room for the enemy to tell me anything else. I did not have space for it.

[Yvette]

Cuz you filled yourself up with him. And that's what we all have to do. Like, because that's your weapon too. Hello. Like this, this, this. And you know, I quote this a lot. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal. I quoted a lot.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

To the. Pulling down the strongholds, casting down imagination and every high thing that exhausts itself against the knowledge of Christ. But the next verse says, and making a readiness to revenge all disobedience once your obedience is made perfect. So with all of that Happening. When you start doing that and you start being more obedient. Obedient to him. You do that. Then your obedience is being made perfect constantly. Because you're constantly doing.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You see what I'm saying? You're. You're. You're able to come against disobedience. Right, That. I love that passage of scripture because it's not carnal. It's powerful. Through God we can pull down strongholds. We can't cast out imaginations. And. Because this is the. Like a. A battleground. Yeah. For us.

[Megan]

Because it really is.

[Yvette]

It is.

[Megan]

That's where the most important thing to.

[Yvette]

Be able to know that and tell the enemy. Or, or speak it out your mouth and confess.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

No, the weapons of my welfare are not carnal. I can pull down strongholds. I can cast down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of Christ and speaking it over and over and over again, then guess what? He has to back up. That's how you resist him. The Bible tells the. Resist Satan and he will flee.

[Megan]

He will flee. It's not. He might.

[Yvette]

No, he will.

[Megan]

He will. And, and we don't get to determine all the time when that will. Will happen. But what we can do is know and have a promise that he will long as we're resisting. And how do you resist? You resist with his Word.

[Yvette]

And this is why you need to know this. Because this also people like to say, you know the scripture, it says the truth shall set you free. But I like it make. Make you free. Because when, as you know this, I am a. You know, back in the day that you all say, all Minister Bear wants to do is talk about freedom. Because when I read this, I feel like it's freedom.

[Megan]

Yep.

[Yvette]

I see freedom in here. I see that God is making me free every day because I have felt bound in my. And freedom is what I read through this whole Bible. I know he doesn't want us bound in chains to the enemy. He wants us free in him. He wants us to be able to make good quality decisions because we can see. You know what I'm saying? We can see because this Word has been revealed to us. Because we're taking the time to read it. We're taking the time to meditate on it. We're taking the time to fast and pray so that he can give us more revelation of his word. Word, you know, it's the living word. Because you can't exalt. Oh, you. Oh, girl. So you get me wound up now. You can't exhaust God. This is something that I, I have learned. Right. I always say the greatest miracle I've ever seen is him saving me.

[Megan]

Hello.

[Yvette]

Because when you really start to see God, you start to see how much you don't know Him. Like you see his endlessness or his, his, his greatness. And, and what you realize is that, oh my God, I thought I knew him, but then the more I know him, it's more I realized I don't know him. And I'm like, oh my God, I need to know him more.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And it's. You can't exhaust Him.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, God isn't. You can't exhaust Him.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Megan]

Because he's so much, much endless, infinite.

[Yvette]

And so that's exciting to me. Like when people talk about they're bored reading the Bible, how are you bored? Do you not get this?

[Megan]

Like I literally had that revelation the other I had of convicting moment. Cuz I was going through Leviticus and I was just so annoyed that I was going through it. I was just like, this is just like who wants to read Leviticus? But then the more you know the Lord, the more that you can appreciate, like I'm going through Hebrews. You can't go through Hebrews really without understand like you can't appreciate Hebrews without appreciating Leviticus. You know what I'm saying? You need to go through it all. It's so exciting. And it doesn't matter how many times you've read it front cover to cover, it doesn't matter. It's all so like there have been scriptures that I have read for years. And, and in another level of my relationship with the Lord, I'm seeing another layer of what he's saying in the same scripture that I've been reading for. You know what I'm saying? It's like that I, I think and I said this before in our previous conversation, like this is why you're my favorite person to talk about the word with. Because we both get very excited about, just like you said, the endlessness of Him. He's just endless. And you cannot, you cannot come to the end of his discovery.

[Yvette]

Right? And he.

[Megan]

And that's just fun.

[Yvette]

And he re. He loves revealing things to us.

[Megan]

Like, like even I was just for a quick example, I was reading, I was doing the book, study the book, relax with my Patreon community. And I was going, talking about Genesis 3. And when I was reading it, you know, we all know Genesis 3. But for whatever reason maybe this may have dawned on everyone Else. And I'm just.

[Yvette]

Now.

[Megan]

It was just dawning on me. But this just goes to the point of as you grow with the Lord, certain scriptures will just be like. Certain things will be highlighted to you in a different way or illuminated to you in a new way. But I was just like. I thought about Eve, you know, disobeying God and eating. Eating the fruit and. And, you know, and then Adam eats the fruit, and then their eyes were open, right. And they realized that they're naked, and then they go and hide. But then what stood out to me? And I don't think I kind of always skipped this part, but it was like God came looking for them. And I don't know why that just blessed me when I. I was like, he. He knew that they disobeyed him before even coming in the. Obviously, he's God. He knows everything. He knew. And he still comes searching for them. He still comes to them. He said, where are you, Adam? Where are you? He knows exactly where Adam is. And he says, adam, where are you? I just thought that that was such a be like. I think I've read that scripture so many times and skipped right over that. And. And I just feel like the Lord is like, I'm always pursuing you.

[Yvette]

Always.

[Megan]

I'm always pursuing you. I'm always. Look, like always. And I want to know where you are, and I want you to know.

[Yvette]

Where you are, and I want to know who. I want you to know who I am to you. Like Israel, you know, Israel kept. I'm going through Ezekiel again. You know, I. Because he's taken me through a whole process of. Of studying reverence. But you know how many times Israel disappointed God.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

But he loved them so much, making a way that he would take them out, like, get them out of the darkness that they were in. Like, you know, because he loved them.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And because he. He wanted them to know that he is God. So they, you know, they ended up in slavery, you know, problem years. Right. Right. He heard their cry to be delivered. He delivered them. Then at. You know, where I'm at in Ezekiel is like, they're in exile in Babylon. Right. And he still has this plan to deliver them, you know, and he's telling them this so that you would know.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

That I am the Lord thy God.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Like, he wants that to be known to us so bad.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

That he is willing to keep coming and keep coming and keep coming, you know, to get us out of this darkness so that we can be with Him.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, that type of Love is the agape. Unconditional, wonderful love of the Lord. Like, that is amazing and powerful. And it's worth concentrating and meditating on.

[Haley]

It's.

[Yvette]

It's worth. I'm tell you what happened to me. One time I went to a conference, and I wasn't supposed to go. I drove up to Cleveland, and you were young at this time, so you probably was staying with Mama. I just. I was going to spend the night. Some friends of mine were there, and when I got in, in the conference, they were in praise and worship. And I remember somebody came on the mic and they were like, this is the time. The Lord is saying some. Somebody really spoke in tongues, and somebody interpreted. And then they said, the Lord is saying, embrace my love. Right? And me and my pride. I'm like, this ain't really for me. I know the Lord loved me. Right? Right. I heard the Holy Spirit say, this is for you. This is for you. Open yourself up to what's happening right now when I tell you. I received the love of God that day in a way that changed me for the rest of my. My walk with him. It was so powerful that I didn't even stay after that. I got back because that was.

[Megan]

That you. Like, that's all I needed.

[Yvette]

I was. I. I was going to spend the night. And the. I heard the Lord said, that's what you were here for. Go back home. You see what I'm saying? But it was a moment. I have. I have had those type of encounters where I can remember where it changed me.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

I encountered the love of God so strong that day. I can still see me standing in the audience. And then my friends was like, can you stand? Because we ate lunch after that. And I was like, no. The Holy Spirit told me, go home. And I got what I came for. And, you know, that's why pride is so bad. Don't just think. I don't know. I don't know if you remember me telling this story. This man was prophesying over me one time, and you were really young, and you weren't. I think you were at your dad's. Because I went home and I had this encounter with God, but this man was prophesying over me. And I remember that I was so cocky. Like, I already know that. I already know that. Yeah. You ain't telling me nothing new. You know, like, it was really kind of cocky. Oh. But when I got by myself at my house, the Holy Spirit said, everything he said might have been true, but you will not experience any of it till I deliver you from yourself. And he took me through a time of showing me me. That was not pretty.

[Haley]

Yeah, that sucks.

[Yvette]

That was.

[Megan]

But a gracious pretty kind of. But man, it was. When God shows you you.

[Yvette]

Oh, it was ugly. And when I tell you and people ask me why you. You know, you just hanging on the Lord so strong. Yeah. Because if you knew what I knew about me.

[Megan]

Hello.

[Yvette]

I said, that's why I don't care about people talking about me. You can talk about me all day. Because you don't even know the worst. You don't even know the worst.

[Megan]

Hello.

[Yvette]

Whatever you can say is something. You make it up or maybe it's true. I don't know. But I really don't care because. Because you don't even know.

[Megan]

You actually don't know how bad I actually could be. Like, for real.

[Yvette]

For real, for real. And he showed. He started showing me me. And he couldn't show me all of it at once because I couldn't have took. I wouldn't have been able to take it. So it was a process. And he's still to this day, still shows you. Revealing me to me.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And it makes me just love God even more because I'm like, that's why God, the greatest miracle I will ever see is him. Because not only are you saved, but you're continually being saved.

[Megan]

Yep.

[Yvette]

It's those that endure to the end.

[Megan]

Hello.

[Yvette]

The same.

[Megan]

That was faith.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You got to keep enduring.

[Haley]

Y.

[Yvette]

You know, you can't just. It was an occasion and, and treat God like somebody told me one time, they say that, you know, I might not do the things you do, but I don't. You don't love God more than. As. No, more than me.

[Haley]

Me.

[Yvette]

I said, well, how can you say that? First. Only God can say that. First of all, I said, but love demonstrates itself in certain ways. I say the way you act toward him, if, If. If a person you love did that, you wouldn't say that person loved you.

[Megan]

Right. Right.

[Yvette]

You know what I'm saying? So, yeah, we. When you love him, you want to. You want to be better. That's all I'm saying. You just want to be better and.

[Megan]

You live a different. Relate a different relationship with the Lord when you have a healthy fear of Him. But you. But. But you love. Like when you really develop a love for the. Like, you love him. It motive. Like, I have lived a context of my faith, fearing, going to hell and like, as a kid and teenager and now as a. As a. An adult in my 30s, I love him so much that I. I want to live more holy than I did when I just feared going to hell. There's something about true love that motivates you differently than just, oh, I don't wanna. You know, I don't want to go to hell. Or, yeah, nobody wants to go to hell. But it's like when you love him, when you know him and you really, like. I don't know when you know all that he. You know, his history, this love that you have for him is just different.

[Yvette]

And it. And it. It sheds off a lot of the. The pride. Because I remember one of my old pastors said this about love, right. He said that he. It was shown to him one time with a situation that happened outside his house. He said a. A one of a kid got. Not kid, but it was somebody's son, but he was grown. Got hit by a car in front of his house. House. And he said he immediately went down and now he's a pastor, right. And. And he. And he, you know, was praying for him to the ambulance guy, but when the mother came out, he said, the mother came in and she didn't care what nobody said. She started praying. She was praying in tongues. She was doing all the things. But he was saying because of his pride. He was. Or his love wasn't the same as her love. It did. He had more pride on him to go in like that. But because her love was so ye. Strong for her son, she didn't care nothing about what people. Yeah.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

She didn't care what they thought. No, this is my son. This is my son. And. And that's how it is with me, with the Lord now. I love him so much that the embarrassment of things from other people is minimized in my life. Because you could tell me anything about me. You. It. It could be hard for me to hear. It could be whatever. But because I love God so much and I want to please him. I want to do what's right more than I care about being embarrassed. Embarrassed because you see a part of me that's not really good.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know what I'm saying?

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

That's going to happen regardless. What people don't understand. God can reveal to anybody at any time. Anything he wants to. About you.

[Megan]

Yep. If he wants you.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And ain't nothing you can do about it. If he wants to tell me something about you or anybody in this room, there's nothing y' all could do about it.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

He could do that. So when we learn to live with. For the Audience of one. It frees you up.

[Megan]

It frees you up.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

It frees you up from, from holding. Because that stuff is bondage.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

It is a bondage. I don't care. Fifteen people came in here to tell me about myself, okay. And I tell you this all the time. I consider everything y. I do, no matter what. I. That's just something the Lord showed me. I will consider what you say no matter whether I. I think you're right or wrong. Initially, my first thing is to consider it and then bring it before the Lord. And then I look at other things. Who you are, how you live, you know, and all those. But I consider everything somebody brings to me, I always do, because I feel like it humbles me and it helps me to be less prideful, you know, I'm going to consider it.

[Haley]

Yep.

[Yvette]

You know, I, I think I've told you this too. If several people tell you the same.

[Megan]

Thing you told me all the time, it's worth considering.

[Yvette]

It's worth considering.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You know, because. Because you're the common denominator.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

In it, you know, and so, so I, I think, though, the main reason for me saying that is that people could be free.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

If you really live for the opinion of God and him alone.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

The opinion of others would not matter. I remember I was preaching a message one time, and to this day I still believe that Webster was saved. And to this day I can never find that. But I was pre preaching a message and I don't even know what the message was about, but I was looking up the word freedom because I love to do definitions of words and get in. And in that Webster actual dictionary, not online, and this was way back, one of the main definitions for freedom was not bound by the opinions of other. And I have not found that again since then. But it said in Webster's dictionary, one of the definitions it listed was not bound by the opinions of others. If people could live free like that.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

That's powerful.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

It's a freedom like no other.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You don't have to worry anymore because, you know, you care more about what he thinks, you care about what he thinks and feels than you do about what others. And, and, and it helps you be a better witness for him too. You know what I'm saying? Because people, people always say to me a work, they say that you just don't ever let anything bother you. It's not that I don't let anything bother me, but God fights my battles.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

He said, vengeance is mine. I will repay but he's my vindicator.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And I let him vindicate me. I'm not going. If I take and get myself in it, I'm gonna mess it all up.

[Haley]

Yep.

[Yvette]

Because then my pride is in it. Then I'm trying to do this, and I'm trying to do that. But when God vindicates you, nobody has anything to say.

[Megan]

Nope.

[Yvette]

Anything to say. You just let him do it. And it's not always easy. You have to practice that.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Megan]

It is part of trusting. I think that that's part of trust in the Lord is trusting that. That he is who he says he is and that he'll do what he says he'll do in all, like, literally in totality. Everything. Everything he's promised, everything that he said. When it comes to defending you, vindicating you, providing for you, loving you, you, giving you grace, his mer, like, all of it. He trusting him with all of that.

[Yvette]

With all of it. Yeah.

[Megan]

So I don't have to, you know, put the pressure on myself to do everything, but I am literally just entrusting myself to the Lord. I do my part. And I was talking about this in another episode. Like, you know, we have to learn how to read scripture and know what your part is and you know what God's part is. It says, trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not into your own understanding. Commit your ways to him and he will make your path straight. So my job is to trust. My job is to bring him out all my heart. My job is to commit my way. My job is to not sanctify all my thoughts. And his job is to make my path straight. I have to know what my role is and what God's role is. And too many times. Times we're switched. Like, we're putting. We're putting our role mixed with God's role. It's like, oh, I'm gonna help God make my path straight. No, no, no, no, no.

[Yvette]

He don't need your help.

[Megan]

He doesn't need you. He doesn't need your help. He doesn't need your assistance. You just do your part and he will do what he promised. And I think that's what. That's what trusting in the Lord is like.

[Yvette]

It is.

[Megan]

But we're gonna wrap this episode. I really just appreciate you coming.

[Yvette]

This was fun.

[Megan]

Yeah, it was fun.

[Yvette]

But this is a normal conversation, for sure.

[Megan]

I. I think I have learned one thing that I will say just to kind of wrap everything up is that there are a lot of parents and mothers, and I know it's not Mother's Day anymore. But I'm just kind of saying, like, I know that there are a lot of mothers who focus on, you know that scripture that says that, you know, your children, her children rise up and call her black. Is that. I don't. Is that Proverbs 31 somewhere?

[Yvette]

31, yeah.

[Megan]

So the children will rise up and call her blessed. And I think that what I have learned from you as a mother is that the emphasis wasn't just on you being a good mom so that I could rise up and call you blessed, but the emphasis and how you raised me was that I would rise up and I would know that the Lord my God is real and like he's holy and he is to be taken seriously. And in that I have grown as a 35 year old woman now to rise up and call you blessed and to be able to say, you know, my mom is the greatest Christian that I've known. But it's not because you made an infinite emphasis on, you know, me idolizing you or making you, you know what I'm saying? But it was because you made an emphasis on me knowing the Lord. And that was the. That was always an emphasis in my life is like, Megan, you gotta have a relationship with the Lord.

[Yvette]

Did you know why that is? And I think every parent feels this way. They may not articulate it correctly, but for me, I didn't want to be a Christian much because as a parent, you gonna bury me. I'm not burying you. Right. And when I leave here, I need to be able to know that you're good.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And that's you having a relationship with God gives me that security in that peace. Yeah, it does. Because that I know. And I always. And I told you this when I was raising you. I wasn't raising you you as a 2 year old. I was raising you to be an adult. I was thinking about your future. I was always ahead. Like, I'm not. What I'm doing for her is for her future. It's not for right now.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Because one day you're gonna be in a world where you're gonna have to make some good quality decisions. I can't just let you not learn how to control certain things, you know? So I was always thinking ahead head. And even for when I'm not here anymore, I need to be able to know you got that strong relationship with God.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And that you know him and that you can lean on him.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

That will give me peace and comfort and I can go on.

[Haley]

Yep.

[Yvette]

Into the by and by. Whenever that time comes by and by.

[Megan]

You're still country.

[Yvette]

I know. Or be with my savior because, you know, to be absent from the bodies, to be present with the Lord. Honey. To be present with the Lord all the time, you know, and. And go in peace with it. And. And I think the parents want that. They want that for their children to know that they're going to be okay.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Megan]

For sure.

[Yvette]

You know, I used to be mean to you. Sometimes they'll be like, look, I know life without you. You don't know it without.

[Megan]

For sure. I don't.

[Yvette]

But. But that was just being like. Like being strong with you with certain things. But. Yeah. A parent wants to know that their kids are going to be fine.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And settled. And I think that was my goal with you. You. I wanted. You had your own relationship.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And not even though me and you are good and close. Not just me.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

Go perform for yourself because can't nobody hang on somebody else coattails when. When you present yourself before God, it's gonna be you. Not your kids, not your husband, not you, your friends, not. You can't say, well, they. And this. No.

[Haley]

No.

[Yvette]

It's just you by yourself. By yourself.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

You gotta be responsible for you.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

So.

[Megan]

Well, I love you and I'm thankful. Thank you for. For coming and blessing the pod and. And yeah.

[Yvette]

Just being.

[Megan]

Just being. Just.

[Yvette]

I hope some people are really blessed by hearing or us being vulnerable to show who. Who we are. You know what I mean?

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And learn from our testimony.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Megan]

Learn from our mistakes.

[Yvette]

Our mistakes. Yeah.

[Megan]

And be encouraged by some of the things that, you know, that we got right. And.

[Haley]

And yeah.

[Megan]

It's just. It's an honor to be able to.

[Yvette]

But I'm so proud of you for doing this and staying with it. I believe is blessing people more than you know. And I know I encourage you all the time to be a, you know, be. Be watchful and steward this influence. Because you have influence. You have influence with. With. With people.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Yvette]

And you didn't always choose it, but we don't get to choose, you know, But I think like you steward that responsibility. When you were over the dance team, that was a little thing, but you did it well. And I believe that you're going to steward this well. And I think it's just going to continue to grow. And as you continue to get freer, other people will be freer and it. It'll be amazing, you know, so just continue doing what you're doing. I'm so proud thanks Mommy.

[Megan]

I love you.

[Yvette]

I love you too.

[Megan]

All right guys, thanks for hanging out with me and my mama and we will see you next week.

[Yvette]

You always do this.

[Megan]

She said you always is. Bye y' all. What's up you guys? I hope you enjoyed this episode. Thank you so much for listening and I hope you felt encouraged in some way. Be sure to like and follow in Totality Podcast everywhere you listen to your favorite shows. Follow into totality on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and be sure to turn on your post notifications so that you can be the first to listen whenever there's a new episode.

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