← In Totality with Megan Ashley
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Megan Ashley
Foreign. What's up, you guys? Welcome back to another episode of In Totality. I'm your host, Megan Ashley. So happy to be back with you. If this is your first time watching, welcome. I hope that this episode blesses you, but I do want to give a special shout out to my Patreon community, the village. I love you guys. I know you're watch and yeah, I just love y' all. I just, I, this morning I'm, I'm, I was up and I was doing my devotional time and just spending some time with the Lord and, and the village was just on my heart really strong and so I just wanted to shout y' all out today because I love you guys. And actually what I'm going to be talking about today is what I sent to the village this morning. It was a devotional that I'm going to start doing with the Patreon community, a weekly devotional. And so my topic today is actually what I sent to them this morning. So for the village, this will, this will be more of an in depth conversation of what I sent you guys today. This is not going to be a, a sermon, so my thoughts are not going to be all, you know, perfectly executed. This is something that has just been on my heart that, and I wanted to share it with you guys. And you guys know that my, my purpose and my aim is always to lead with transparency and vulnerability. And I do truly believe that the Lord has graced me to share sometimes in real time what the Lord is doing in my life on this platform. I, I, I do believe that this is a form where I can kind of just express my thoughts to you guys and, and prayerfully, lead, lead with vulnerability, transparency, but also lead you in a way that it draws you closer to the Lord and it draws you closer to His Word. And so I'm going to just be honest with you guys about what I have been experiencing over the last month. And, and it's interesting because this has been a, a month where the Lord has been disciplining me. And so I know you, I was thinking about this when I was getting ready. I was like, man, I probably talk about how I'm being disciplined by the Lord often, but the Bible does say that he disciplines those that he loves. And so I believe that that's part, that's part of our journey, it's part of our walk with Christ, is that, that we go through disciplines and in the discipline he's maturing us and he's produc things in us. And so I kind of want to take you guys back a month. And what was going on with me a month ago is that I received a strong discipline from the Lord. Like a strong get it together, right? Like for those of you who are parents, you know the difference when. In the tone and when you warn your children, right? And so, like, with my kids, it's like, okay, so the first warning is usually kind of like, all right, hey, I need you to X, Y and Z. And then the second warning is like, what did I say? I need you to da da, da, da, da. Right? And then around that third warning, it's not so nice anymore. It's not so gentle. It's like, I didn't told you twice. And especially for some of the. Some of us black moms, right? It's like, now I didn't told you three times to go do X, Y and Z. I'm not going to tell you again, right? So what I received from the Lord a month ago was that third word kind of warning. Now, you guys know that I've been extremely transparent about the things that I struggle with, and especially in the area of my pride. And so I'm never afraid of exposing certain things about myself in the. In the areas that I struggle with because I've stood before God and expose it to him, right? So, so I'm not ever truly embarrassed to share things with you guys because I've. I've already open myself up and expose myself up to the King of Kings, to the Holy one, to the righteous One. And so being vulnerable with you guys isn't. Isn't such a struggle for me because I've already been exposed to the Lord, if that makes sense. And so I'm never afraid to come on here to say that I struggle in pride. I struggle in arrogance. I struggle with my attitude. I struggle with my moods. I struggle being disciplined, to being consistent. Like, I. I don't ever have an issue with. With expressing that. And so anyway, this, this past month has been really, really interesting. And, and truthfully, even the past week, if I could even. I'm gonna talk a little bit about what I've been experiencing this past week, but over the last month, I was on my way to take my. My son Caleb to. To his dentist appointment. And Caleb's dentist appointments are really unique because he has to go under anesthesia to, to go through a full dental exam to get his X rays, to get his teeth cleaned. And that's because, as you guys know, Caleb is autistic. He has fragile X syndrome. And so there's a sensory disorder that comes along with that, where drills and all types of stuff, him being pulled and pride in his mouth is just too overstimulating for him. And so he has to be put under anesthesia to get a full dental exam. And so we have to go through this once year. And so at this point, you know, this is the. The time that this comes up. And then I get a. I get a text from my mom, and she sends me. She said, this is what the Lord instructed me to send you. And she was like, you know, read it when you get a chance. So Caleb is in. In his appointment. I'm waiting out in the car while he's getting his exam done. And I'm reading this letter, and it's a very hard letter to read, because in it was a very strong, like, warning and re. And correction and discipline from the Lord. And in regards to my heart, not so much in regards to my actions. Yes. Because we all know that from the heart flows the issues of life. Right. So whatever is in your heart is eventually going to show in your actions. But it was. It was really targeting my heart. And because I was in a vulnerable circumstance with my son going into this exam, I was just irritable about it. Like, I was irritable and. And extremely prideful. When I. When I first got it, I was extremely prideful. I was so upset. I was frustrated because I'm like, I feel like I've been faithful. I feel like I've been doing all the things that the Lord is telling me to do. Like, I ain't out here not living a consecrated life. I'm not out here doing all types of crazy stuff. Like, I come home. I, you know, I do the podcast. I don't really do a whole lot, right? And I'm like, I go to church. I remain. Like, I feel like I'm faithful. I read, I pray all the things. So I don't understand why I'm getting this rebuke. Well, one thing about me is that although I can operate in pride and not want to hear correction, because of how I was raised, especially how my mom raised me, I'm always going to obey eventually. Like, I'm. I might have a. I might have a fee, I might feel away, but I'm always going to obey, right? And so after I read this, the letter, I called my mom to talk through what. What she had received from the Lord and what she had wrote to me. And at first, the conversation was really hard, and I was in my feelings and, you know, Yeah, I was just in pride and in my flesh. But then after talking through more, I started to really take inventory of what my heart posture had been the last few months. And I realized that because. And I told you guys this on one of the last episodes that. That I had experienced a couple car accidents. My car was in the shop. I had a rental car for, like, a two months. I couldn't get my kids into the school that I wanted to get them in. I've been looking for a home, guys. I've been putting offers on homes. Haven't been able to get anything to. To fall through. So, like, there's been a lot of frustration that I've been experiencing in my life and for me, because I am. If I'm not mindful, and I wasn't mindful because I was in pride, I was thinking that, Lord, I'm being faithful to you. So therefore, you need to do what I want you to. What I want you to do. You need to make things easy for me, because I'm being faithful to you. I'm doing this podcast. I feel like I'm. I'm making disciples. I'm leading people to the Lord. I'm being. I'm consecrating, I'm. I'm reading my word, I'm praying, I'm fasting. I have healthy godly relationships. I'm in great community. You know, I'm teaching my children the word. I'm discipling my children. I'm doing all the things. So you should be making my life easier. And then when it didn't get easy, it actually revealed where my heart was. I was in pride. I was in. I was arrogant. And so because the things weren't happening the way that I wanted them to be, I had an attitude with the Lord. And y' all know. Y' all know I have been very open about how I can be when I don't. When. When I don't feel like God is moving the way I want him to move, right? So I have this attitude, and I'm just like, you know, I'm. I'm doing all the things, but my heart is just not right. Like, I'm praying, but I still got an attitude with the Lord. And even in the. Some of the things, like, my mom had pointed out that somebody. Even in some of the things I was saying, I had, like, a cynical tone to God, to the things of the Lord. Like, like saying things like, yeah, I mean, I guess, you know, my. I guess he just wants me to suffer. Like, I guess the Lord, just, just being cynical about the things of the Lord. So the Lord was exposing some error and some pride in my heart that I had. And, and, and the rebuke and the discipline came in really strong. Like it was like, enough is enough. I have been good to you. I have been faithful to you. And just because things aren't going your way doesn't mean you get to have an attitude, right? And be disrespectful or whatever. And so the Lord gave through my mom and thank God for a praying mother. The Lord had given my mom some instructions for me to do for the next 30 days. And so as I went to the Lord, and again, when she first told me, you guys, I was upset, I was irritated. But, but afterwards, I sincere again, because I can have, I can feel away, but I'm always gonna. I'm always gonna obey because I actually do fear the Lord. I fear Him, I respect Him, I reverence Him. And I, and I. And I love him. Although I want to love him more. I do. I do love Him. And so, and I believe that. And I believe that the Lord spoke to my mom. And so, and so although I had an attitude and I felt away, I. I was. I. I humbled myself and got on my face before the Lord when I got home from my son's appointment and, and, and repented and all the things. And in, in the repentance and the lamenting and the asking and the petitioning and all the things I was praying and asking, the strategy, because the instructions that the Lord had given me for those 30 days were, were. Were extremely hard for me because it, it meant that I was going to have to be extremely mindful of my reactions and my responses to things that were happening in my life. Because prior, I just wasn't being mindful. I was just it, you know, frustrated, feeling away all the things. Now, the instruction that the Lord had given me through the discipline that he gave me meant that I was going to have to be very, very, very, very mindful of how I was responding to things, not just outwardly, but inwardly in my heart. And so as I'm seeking the Lord, I'm asking him for strategy to help me be obedient to the instructions that he had given me for the next 30 days. And so the, the scripture that kept coming up to my. To my heart as I was praying and I was seeking the Lord. 3. I'm sorry. Proverbs 4:23. And, and in Proverbs 4:23, it says, Guard your heart above all else for it is the source of life. Now, there are other versions that I do like, right? There are other versions, like the ESV says, keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. So what is vigilance? Keep careful, careful watch for possible danger or difficulties. Right? In the, in the new King James version, it says, keep your heart with all diligence. What is diligence? Careful, persistent work or effort. And so that scripture kept coming up. Diligence, vigilance, like, be diligent, be vigilant in guarding your heart. And what I notice about this is that this is not a suggestion. The language of this scripture is not a suggestion. You should keep your heart. You should guard your heart. It says, guard your heart. Above all else, guard your heart. Not. Guard your mind, not your body, not your. Guard your heart, specifically, because from it flows the issues of life, flows the springs of life. So how I'm responding to things, the things that are coming out of my mouth, the things that I'm feeling is flowing from my heart. And so the Bible is telling is, is was showing me and is showing us is that this is not something that you can take lightly. When I lit. When I think about the words vigilance and I think about the words diligence, this is keep careful watch for possible dangers or difficulty. Be. Be careful and persistent. This means that guarding my heart is not something that I can take a break from. Guarding my heart isn't something that I can. I can take a day off or an hour off. Guarding your heart means that I am on my post and I'm not getting off. I am protecting this thing. Because why? Because from it flows the issues of life, right? And so when I, when I, when I look at the word guard and when I was, when I was looking at commentary and I was just looking up Scripture and I was looking up like what this, the context of this, of this scripture is when it says guard, it means keep watch, keep, over, keep, protect, observe. So I want to, I want to, I wanna, I wanna over emphasize that. That we are keeping watch, that we are keep. We're watching over, that we're. We're keeping from evil, right? To guard your heart means that you're keeping it from something. You're protecting it. The heart isn't just the location of your emotions, but it's also the location of your knowledge and your decisions. So I think a lot of times we think of our heart and we think with our emotions, but it, but the Bible says that from it flows the issues of life, not just the flow, the issues of feelings, but everything comes from the heart, right? And so we have to keep in proper context why it's so important to guard this heart. And what the Bible says gives us context of what our heart is. What is. Like, what is our heart. What does the Bible say about our heart? Well, then, if you go to Jeremiah 17, 9, the Bible gives us context about our heart. The heart is more deceitful than anything else and incurable. Who can understand it? Well, that's so interesting to me because we hear so much language in our culture about following your heart. Follow your heart, just whatever your heart tells you to do. Well, my Bible tells me that my heart is deceitful. So I probably should not be always following my heart. I should probably follow Scripture, right? I should follow. Be following the will of God. And According to Proverbs 3, I need to be guarding my heart. Because if I leave my heart to itself, it's evil. If I let my heart just do whatever it wants to do, it's not going to lead me down the path of the will of the Lord If I'm not submitted to God, if I'm not. I'm not disciplined in my spiritual practices like I. If I just leave my heart to itself, it's deceitful. I can't trust my heart. In, in the, in a, in a. In a literal chapter before, it says, trust in the Lord with all your heart. It doesn't say trust your life with all your. With all your. Or trust your heart with your entire life. No, trust in the Lord. I am not supposed to trust this heart because it's deceitful. I don't even know the contents of my heart. Only God does, right? So that's just given us a framework of, of about the heart, about our hearts, right? There's a scripture that's in Matthew, in Matthew 15, that gives us a little bit more context about our hearts, right? And so in Matthew 15, starting at 18, it says, but what comes out of the mouth comes from the heart, and it. And it defiles a person, right? So they're talking about, you know, can we eat this, can we eat that? And Lord. Lord is like, what goes in the stomach stays in the stomach, right? It goes in the stomach, it comes out the body, whatever. But what comes out of the mouth is an indication of what is in the heart. What is in your heart defines who you are as a person. If you want to know who you are as a person, pay close attention to what's coming out of your mouth, play close attention about the things that you're thinking about. That's why I'm so big on, on if you, if you guys have been following me in the Patreon community, the village, y' all know I'm always. All right, y' all, let's do a heart check. Let's take inventory of our hearts, because that, what comes out of the mouth is a reflection of the heart. So again, I want to give more context of what the Bible says about our hearts. So In Proverbs 27, verse 19, it says, as water reflects the face, so the heart reflects a person. Again, what is in your heart tells you about yourself. It gives you context to who you are. Right? And so why is it important that we guard our hearts? Why is it important to know about our hearts? Why is it important to make sure that our hearts are, are, are pure? Why, why does, why does that matter? Well, then, if you go to First Samuel, First Samuel, chapter 16, and we're going to start at verse seven. But the Lord said to Samuel, do not look at his appearance or his stature, but because I have rejected him. Humans do not see what the Lord sees, for humans see what is visible, but the Lord sees the heart. So in First Samuel, God is giving us this, this framework that, that it's not so much about what it looks like on the outside, but it's about the contents of our heart. And we, and we see so many scriptures where David is talking about, search my heart, right? Search my heart, oh Lord, give me a clean heart and renew a right spirit in me. He was a man after God's heart, which means that he was diligent in, in guarding his own heart. And so this, this, this month, although it has been difficult, although it has been challenging, although it did not feel good to, to receive that type of correction from the Lord. When I was praying and asking the Lord for strategy, what kept coming to me was, guard your heart. I was responding to the Lord in a way because I was not guarding my heart because I wasn't meditating on God's word as, as I should, right? Because I wasn't thinking on things that are, are praiseworthy. And that like I wasn't being, I, I, I got off my post because I was offended with the Lord, because I was mad at the Lord, because I was frustrated with the Lord. I got off my post and it started to, it, it started to be evident in the way that I'm responding to people in my life, in the way that I'm, I'M not receiving correction from, from, from people in my life who I know the Lord has placed in my life to give me correction. Example, my mom. It was evidence because I was easily offended because I wasn't dealing with my offense with the Lord and, and, and my frustrations with the Lord. I'm easily offended by other people. And, and when you guard your heart, you, you are guarding yourself from all of that. When you're guarding your heart, you're not only guarding yourself from attacks from the outside, but you're also protecting and guarding yourself from attacks from within. This commandment. And guarding your heart is so important and it comes in different forms. Like, it looks differently. And for me, in this season, it has been extremely interesting to me because I'm going to give you guys a little context. I have the, the, the tendency to want to defend myself. I have been doing this podcast for, going on for what, over a year and a half, doing in totality. But I have been in the public for a few years now, and you guys know my story. You know, you know, the things that I've experienced. And there have been so much that has happened in my life just within the last four years of things that I have wanted to defend myself about. I have wanted to respond, I have wanted to react. I've wanted to defend myself. And in the last, in the last 30 days, the Lord has really just been dealing with me with, about, about defending myself. And it's so interesting that the Lord has been dealing with me about that. And then last week was like another what is going on on social media? Like, what is actually happening? But what changed? I noticed that although it might be frustrating when people have things to say about you, when they accuse you of things, or when they, when there's false accusations about you, when they attacked your character, when they attacked your ministry, when they attack. Like, although that is frustrating because I have been diligent in guarding my heart, I did not have the, the, the unction to want to defend myself because I have been so mindful to guard my heart. And because I've received this correction from the Lord, I, I, I trusted myself with Him. Instead of wanting to defend myself, I trusted myself with Him. I trusted that the Lord had me. I trusted that he was with me. I trusted that he was for me. I trusted that I, that I was, was being obedient to, to what he was calling me to do. And I trusted that vengeance is his. And so guarding my heart looked like not engaging. When people would say, oh, did you hear this? Did you see this? Did you see that? Did you see. All right, you guys, listen. This episode is brought to you by Zocdoc. When was the last time you needed to go to the doctor but you push it off? 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That's z o c d o c.com totality zocdoc.com totality that's T O-T-A L I T Y All right guys, back to the show. Guarding myself meant not. Not going online and looking at every single thing. Guarding my heart meant taking everything to the Lord in prayer. Guarding my heart was praying for those who persecute me guarding my heart was not responding. You have to be so mindful, even when it might look like a, like you're, you're the one do being done wrong in a situation that you guard your heart from taking vengeance in your own hands. Like I'm going, like I'm, I'm. I'm going to be mindful that even though in my flesh I have every right to react and respond and to, to go off and to feel away and all the things. But in guarding my heart, I'm being mindful that my heart is in a position where it is pleasing to the Lord and, and guys, guarding your heart, it takes maturity. It takes again, the definition. It takes diligence. It takes consistent effort. And especially if you're a sensitive person like me. I am extremely sensitive. My feelings get hurt very easily, which means that I have to be that much more vigilant, that much more diligent in guarding my heart. And the biggest lesson that I am still learning is that you can be not doing all the things, living a consecrated life, but still be, but, but still not have the right heart posture and the. And that is what the Lord is looking for. He's looking for your heart. And so these few things came, came to me as I was studying and I was just like, the Lord is not looking for perfect performance, but he's looking for pure intimacy. That's a heart posture. I can do all the things, but then my heart not be right. So what is the Lord after most? Is he after my perfect performance or if he's after my intimacy? Well, then go over to. In the, in the scriptures where it talks about, many will come to me and say, lord, Lord, didn't we prophesy in your name? Didn't we heal in your name? Didn't we do all these things? And the Lord says, depart from me, you worker of iniquity. I never knew you. Well, the word knew is talking about an intimacy. We were not intimate. You did all the things, but we, we didn't have an intimate relationship. The Bible says to love the Lord your God with all your heart, all of your heart. That is an intimacy that the Lord is after. He's not just after you doing all the things, but he's after an intimacy with you. And from that place of intimacy, you live a sanctified holy life. And you do the works and the things that God has called you to do. But the works don't become, don't. Don't come over the intimacy. It's the intimacy first, right? The Lord is looking for those who are devoted, not just those who are doers. I am good at doing, I am great at doing all the things. But it, but for me the challenge is devoting myself, delighting in the Lord when things are hard for me. That, that is, that is a form of guarding my heart, delighting in the Lord, staying in the presence of the Lord where there's fullness of joy, where there's peace. That, that is, that is how I guard my heart against offense, self righteousness, pride, arrogance, all manners of sin is being devoted to the Lord, delighting in the Lord, devoted to intimacy, committed to my spiritual disciplines, not just doing all the things. So the Lord is looking for those who are devoted over just doers. God is looking for those who are faithful to him and not faithful to themselves or faithful to their own emotions. I have learned because I've lived. I'm 35 years old and so I know my emotions very well. I know how I feel very well. So it's easy for me to be faithful to my emotions. It's easy for me to be faithful to how I feel. But it takes discipline for me to be faithful to the Lord over how I feel. So I might be feeling this, but I'm going to be faithful to what the Lord tells me to do. I might be frustrated, but I'm going to be faithful to what the Lord is telling me to do. This might not be going my way, but I'm going to be faithful to what the Lord is calling me to do in spite of how I feel. So in this, in this time, in this time that we live in, where there is so much, there's so many opinions, there's so many, there's so much division, there's so much discord, there's so, there's just so much happening even in, even in the, in, in the Christian space within the church, there's so much flesh that we see, there's goodness that we see too, and faithfulness and in the Lord. And I, and I love God's church. So please don't hear me, don't hear me condemning the church, because I'm not. But over the la, over, over the last week, man, my heart was just grieved by the, the division, the chaos, the distractions that were happening in the church and in the Christian space on social media. And so my encouragement is that we be mindful of our hearts. So, so when you're watching and you're look, you're on social media and you're scrolling and you're hearing this person opinion and you're hearing this person's TED Talk and you're hearing this person's prophetic word and you're hearing this person's prophetic dream and you're hearing this person, you know you're hearing all the things. Be mindful that you are guarding your heart with all diligence. If this is causing you to not love the Lord with all your heart and love your neighbor. If this is not working in you, good things that are pleasing to the Lord, then you need to take an inventory check. You need to pause and say, is this edifying? Does this please God? Does this, does this honor the Lord? When I'm watching this, when I'm watching this person talk badly about this person or say things about this person or expose this person, what, what is happening in my heart? Am I being mindful of what my heart, the condition and the posture and the motives of my heart, even as I am scrolling through social media for some of us, guarding your heart with all diligence is getting off Tick Tock. Some of us is, is, is guarding our heart with all diligence. It's getting off social media even when it comes to things that you agree with. Sometimes, sometimes I have to even be mindful of watching content or, or, or engage like, you know how you can be scrolling. I've, I've recently just been getting on Tik Tok more like actually like scrolling through Tick Tock. I, if you ask anybody, first of all, y' all know I'm really not on social media like that. I don't, I don't engage in that way. But recently I've been like scrolling through Tick Tock a lot and I'll see a video that comes up and it's like, oh, I agree, I agree about what they're saying maybe about this person. But then I have to pause and, and ask myself if is me watching this edifying? Is is this good for my heart? And if the answer is no, then I just need to pump, not interested and keep scrolling. Get on a different side of Tick Tock where they're talking about, I don't know, mukbangs and get ready with me and makeup tutorials like go on the other side of Tick Tock, the gossipy side and the, and the slander side and I gotta guard my heart from that. It's not good for me. Vigilance means even in that manner. Vigilance means even in the context of your conversations that you're having, what you're opening your Eyes to. Gets in your heart. What you're listening to gets in your heart. And what gets in your heart flows out of your life. It. It comes out. We have to be mindful that we are guarding our hearts, rooting ourselves in the things of the Lord. The Bible talks about over in, in Ephesians 6, right? It talks about putting on the armor of God. Now, mind you, there's so much context in our. In the Bible where it talks about, where it gives the, the analogy of some sort of army when it talks about our faith. Be a soldier. You're fighting, It's a war. It's always giving some sort of like, war, army analogy. Well, why do you think that that is? Because it ain't no game. I know we want to. We want our Christian context to be like a cakewalk and like, oh, it's, you know, it's easy, it's beautiful, and it is beautiful, but it is not. Narrow is the way. Hard is the way. In some, in some translations, hard is the way. Narrow is the way. Broad means easy, narrow means hard. It is a fight to the end. You got to start seeing. Why do you think that the Bible says in Ephesians, put on the full armor? Because you. In a war, we war not against flesh and blood, but principalities. There we are in a spiritual war. And so you have to. You have to. When the Bible says, guard your heart with all diligence, you got to think about that. If I'm in a war, if I'm in a war, I'm on the battlefield and there's all types of adversaries coming to me. You think for two seconds I'mma put my sword down? Do you think for two seconds I'm going take my helmet off or I'm going to take my breastplate off? That is protecting the most vital organs that I have, the main one being my heart. You have to be vigilant in this. We have to. Let me stop saying you. We have to be vigilant. It says, put on the full armor. Again, this is not a suggestive language. This is a command. Put it on. Put on the helmet of salvation. Put on the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith. Put on your armor. This is not. We. We have. We have to stop taking our walk so casually and be serious about this thing. Because the language that I see all through the Bible is serious. This language of putting on your. Your armor, that sounds serious. That doesn't sound like a casual playground. Popcorn, candy. It's rainbows and skittles and Fluff. It doesn't sound that way to me. It sounds serious. Put your armor on because the adversary is after you. The Bible says that, that, that Satan prowls around looking for someone who. To devour. He's, he's, he's all he is full time on his job. Which means you got a full time have on your armor. Don't play about this thing. Put on the full armor. The breastplate is it again, the, the, the. Why, why, why do we have on a breastplate? Why do we have to put the breastplate on? It's probably the, I mean, one of the more important parts of the armor. Because if, if the enemy hits me in my foot, that's my foot, you know it's gonna hurt. But it's my foot, right? I got another foot. I got knees. I can like, you know, crawl or like, it's my foot. But the heart, the source of how this body is, is breathing and moving and alive. If I don't have that breastplate on and something happens to this heart, it's over. Your heart is so, is so important. I can even not. I can even have like brain damage and still be alive, right? But if I don't have a beating heart, it's. I'm dead. It's one of the most important parts of the armor. And, and it's the, and it's the armor of righteousness. What is our righteousness? Well, we know on our own our righteousness is of filthy rags, but because Christ died and atoned for our sins, we are clothed in righteousness. Through Jesus Christ we are justified, cleansed, renewed through Jesus Christ. That is our righteousness. 2nd Corinthians 5:21. God made him who had, who knew no sin, who had no sin to be sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. So when, what does it mean to, to put on our righteousness as a, as a breast, as a breastplate protecting our heart? When we put on the plate the breastplate of righteousness, know that again, because we're not just in an external war, we're also in an internal war. And sometimes the enemy likes to accuse us of things. You're not this, you're not that. You're not this, you're not that. You did this, you did that. But when we put on the breastplate of righteousness regarding ourselves right from the accuser of the brethren, so we put on the righteousness of Christ. And that protects us. That truth of who we are in Christ protects us. It protects our hearts. Take a Moment. And, and I, and I gave this, I gave this to the, to our, to the Patreon community. Like I said this morning as I, I made guard your heart our weekly devotional. And I, and I gave them three things. I gave them three things to take inventory of. And again, this is always a posture check. Number one. Number one, I want to, I want to give you some, some scriptures to pray right? The always my mom has been teaching me for. I've always watched her most of my life do this, but she's also been just discipling me and teaching me how to do this as an adult. But to pray scripture over yourself, right? So in, in Psalms 139, well there's. Let me actually go back. Let me try to do it in order in Psalms 19. So Psalms 19, verse 14. May the words of my mouth and a meditation of my heart be acceptable to you. That's something to be something that you can be praying, right? Lord, let the words of my of my mouth and the meditation of my heart. Psalms 139. Let me see Psalms 139, Psalms 139. This is a prayer that or this is a scripture that you should really always be praying. But starting in verse 23, Search me God, and know my heart. Test me and know my concerns. See if there are any offensive offensive way in me. Lead me in the everlasting way. Now I'm going to warn you. You pray that he's going to start showing you some stuff. Don't be offended with the Lord when he starts showing you how you've offended him. Okay? I'm just giving you don't do what I did, okay? Because I didn't got offend. I said, lord, let me know if I have offended you in any way. And then turned around and got offended. It's like what kind of sense. So don't be offended when he shows you that you've offended him. Okay, so that's Psalms 139, verse 23, 24. Okay, there's another scripture. Psalms 119, Psalms 1:19, starting at verse 10. I have sought you with all my heart. Don't let me wonder from your commands. I have treasured your word in my heart that I may not sin against you. Value and treasure God's word in your and. And story. There's. There's another version that says this word that I've stored in my heart so that I may not sin against you. Well, how do I guard my heart? Store up his word in your heart. Feast on this daily. Store it up in your heart, not just in your mind. Don't just memorize Scripture. Meditate on Scripture. Let it. Let it fully deposit in your heart. Let it get in here. Let it penetrate your heart. Like in the book of Acts when Peter preached his first sermon and they. And they said their hearts were pierced. Let this word pierce your heart. Let it fully penetrate in your heart. And that is how you keep yourself from sinning against the Lord. Are you going to bat a hundred? No, you're not. You're going to sin. But I'm saying you're going to live a life of righteousness and holiness the more that you store this up in your heart. Okay, so those are some scriptures that I think that. That you should just meditate on. Even. Even in Philippians. I just want to give this one, too, because I think it matters what we think about, too. But in. In Philippians 4, Philippians 4, 6. Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request. Present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and minds. In Jesus Christ. The peace of God will guard your hearts. How do I guard my heart? With all diligence. I stay in the presence of the Lord. I don't worry about everything, but I pray about everything. How do I guard myself? I stay in prayer. I live a prayer. I live a life of prayer. I've always noticed that the more irritated I am is a reflection of how much I haven't prayed. The more irritable I am is a reflection of how much I haven't prayed. My prayer life is extremely important in. In. In. In how I respond in my life. So that's something to keep in mind. And then there's another scripture. Oh, just if you continue in that. The same. I'm sorry. It's the same. Same chapter, right? I ended at verse seven. But if you continue on to verse eight. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any moral excellence, if there is anything praiseworthy, dwell on these things. How do I guard my heart with all diligence? Well, I'm guarding how I think. I'm guarding what I allow myself to meditate on. I'm going to meditate on God's word. I'm going to think on things that are honorable, things that are pure, things that are lovely, things that are commendable, things that are moral, excellent, things that are praiseworthy and honestly. When I look at these descriptions, what is honorable, what is pure, what is lovely, what is commendable, what is moral excellence, what is praiseworthy? The only person that comes to my mind that fits that all the time is the Lord. I'm going to fix my mind on him. I'm going to think on the things of the Lord. I'm going to think on his word, I'm going to think on his goodness. I'm going to think on his faithfulness. I'm going to think on his righteousness. I'm going to think on the Lord so that I'm guarding my heart, so I'm diligent, and how I'm protecting my heart so that my heart, when the Lord looks at me, because again, he's not looking at the outer, he's looking at the inner. So that when he's looking at me, he sees a heart and that loves him. Not just actions that look like I'm doing what's right, but he sees a heart that really loves him. He sees a heart that is obedient to him. He sees a heart that has pure worship. That is, that is, that is the goal, that is the aim. And so I hope that I'm going to give you the three things that I gave Patreon and, and this will be kind of your journal prompt for. For the week. And maybe not even for the week, but just something to meditate on. Maybe you meditate on it today, maybe you meditate on it for the next week. Maybe like, like me, you go through 30 days of just. All right, Lord, I'm gonna get my heart back in alignment with your will. I'm gonna get my heart back in alignment with what is pleasing and acceptable to you. So that not just the words of my mouth, but the meditation of my heart is pleasing to you. So what has been taking up sin space in your heart lately? What's been taking up space? What? What? What's. What's been filling my heart lately? What thoughts have been shaping my words lately? What have I been saying? Cuz whatever you've been saying is an indication of what you've been thinking, which is an indication of what's in your heart. What have I been saying lately? What's been coming out of my mouth? I'm. I'm going to be. I'm going to be vulnerable with you guys for a second. One of the, One of the things that the Lord disciplined me in for the 30 days was I wasn't allowed to complain. I had to be very mindful of how I was responding to difficulties. So instead of complaining, I had to praise. And not just outwardly, but inwardly in my heart. That when my heart started, even if I was saying things out of my mouth, when my heart started to feel away, I had to, like, get my heart back in check and, like, put praise even in my heart and on my lips, right? And then the last thing, have I been hiding my heart or guarding my heart? And there is a difference. The Lord wants you to guard your heart. He does not want you to hide your heart from him. He wants to. He wants you to be diligent in guarding your heart from all manners of evil, but opening your heart to him in every way. So, Lord, have I been doing more hiding than guarding? Lord, show me the ways that I've been hiding my heart. Show me the ways in which I need to guard my heart. Lord, give me strategy. And, and, and, and how. You. Because the Lord knows you specifically, right? I'm just telling you the ways in which I have to be vigilant and guarding my own heart. But for you, it might look differently. For you, it might be a relationship. For you, it might be Netflix, it might be social media, it might be the things that you're eating, it might be what you do socially, it might be the things that you're reading, whatever the Lord is showing you to do. I, I would challenge you, for some of you, I would challenge you for the next 30 days to just be committed to, like, asking the Lord, and we should always be doing this daily, but, like, really just hone in for the next 30 days and just be like, lord, I want to do like a, a full inventory of my heart. When I worked at Nordstrom, there was something really interesting that we did. We always took inventory. But then there was twice a year where we had to do a full store inventory. That means we had to shut everything down. And we were there all night sometimes, and we were not allowed to leave. Nobody was allowed to leave until every department did a full inventory of, of all of their items. So some of you, you might just be able to do it. You know, there are some seasons in your life where, yes, you do a daily inventory. You always do a daily inventory check. But then there are some seasons where you're going to have to shut everything down and do a full, like a full scope inventory check. And for some of you, this might be that time where you just need to, all right, Lord, I'm shutting everything down. I'm going to get real serious about my heart, because I know that that is what you're looking at. You're not just looking at what I'm posting. You're not just looking at what I'm. What I'm watching, but you're looking at my heart and the motives and the. In the. And the. The. The. The condition of my heart. That is what you're looking at. So I can do all the. Get readies with me and I can post my devotionals and I can, you know, post me going to church and I can post me doing. But, but, but Lord, you're looking at my heart and I want not just the meditations of my lips, but, but. But the meditation of my heart to be pleasing to you. That is what we're after. So those are your. Those are your. Your journal prompts or your inventory checks for. For the week. I love you guys. I pray that you hear my heart on this. I pray that. That it. That it was helpful to you and encouraging to you, not condemning. I pray it was encouraging for you to just take a moment and. And just check your heart with the Lord and. And to encourage you to be. Be man. Just don't get off your post. Guard it day and night. Guard it. Don't get off your post. I love you guys. I'll see you next week. Listen, guys, we are revamping all things that comes to in totality merch and we still have some pieces left for our first collection. So because it's summertime, I probably won't do this again but we are having a flash show going on right now. 35 off everything on the site. Take it. I'm stressed out, Jordan. Stressed out. Take it all. We don't have that many pieces left. Even if you have a piece already, buy another one. Bless somebody with it. Whether it's a birthday gift, graduation gift or even a Christmas gift. I know it's early, but never too early to prepare. I love you guys so much. Buy the merge and get ready for some really cool new pieces that are going to drop very soon. I don't know when, but very soon. Buy the merch right now at the Megan Ashley shop. See you there. What's up, you guys? I hope you enjoyed this episode. Thank you so much for listening and I hope you felt encouraged in some way. Be sure to like and follow into Tality podcast everywhere you listen to your favorite shows. Follow into Tality on Apple podcasts or Spotify and be sure to turn on your post notifications so that you can be the first to listen whenever there's a new episode.