The Alphabet of the Heart: Podcast 12 - Review and Golden Rule

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: James R Doty MD
Episode: The Alphabet of the Heart: Podcast 12 – Review and Golden Rule
Date: October 29, 2016
Host: James R Doty, MD
Guest Host: James Kirby

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Episode Overview

This final episode of the "Alphabet of the Heart" podcast series offers a reflective and heartfelt recap of the key concepts that have guided the previous episodes. Dr. James Doty and James Kirby discuss the origins, global impact, and daily practice of the Alphabet of the Heart mnemonic—a guide to living with compassion, dignity, and intention. The central theme is the transformative power of small, intentional actions, embodied by the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you wish those to do unto you.” Dr. Doty also shares a closing guided meditation on clarifying intention, emphasizing the importance of compassion and mindful living.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Origins and Unexpected Impact of the Alphabet of the Heart

• Dr. Doty recounts how the mnemonic originated from a speech he was invited to give at Tulane University’s white coat ceremony. Preparing this talk led to deep personal reflection on lessons learned throughout his life.
  • “The requirement that I actually give this keynote address to inspire these students actually led me to have this reflection on my own life and the experiences I've had and really the key aspects of the lessons that I've learned...” – Dr. Doty [01:07]
• The mnemonic has reached a global audience, translated into 22 languages, and sparked creative adaptations like compassion beads, which now support causes such as a homeless shelter in San Antonio.

2. The Power of Small Deeds: The Story of Ann Helmke and the Compassion Beads

• The mnemonic’s impact is illustrated through the story of Ann Helmke, spiritual director of a major homeless shelter, who found renewed strength through the Alphabet of the Heart.
• Inspired by Ann's experience, mala-style compassion beads were created—each letter representing a virtue and capped with a golden bead for the Golden Rule.
  • “But on her own, she added a golden bead to represent the Golden Rule, which really in many ways summarizes the Alphabet. It really is an expression. All the actions involved are an expression of the Golden Rule.” – Dr. Doty [05:36]
• The beads spread worldwide, becoming a fundraiser and daily practice tool for many.
  • Notable moment: A surgeon encounters the mnemonic above a scrub sink in Nicaragua, showing its organic spread [07:30].

3. The Alphabet of the Heart: Step-by-Step Recap

• C – Compassion: For self and others, as everyone experiences suffering.
• D – Dignity: Treating everyone with respect, regardless of circumstances.
• E – Equanimity: Maintaining stability through life’s ups and downs.
  • “Don’t grab too tight on the ups. Often it’s the downs that teach us the greatest lessons about who we are or what we can become.” – Dr. Doty [10:24]
• F – Forgiveness: Letting go of anger benefits oneself more than others.
  • “It’s often like drinking poison and somehow thinking that it’s going to kill the other person... It doesn’t work and only makes you suffer.” – Dr. Doty [11:08]
• G – Gratitude: Thankfulness for what one has.
• H – Humility: Recognizing equality between all people.
• I – Integrity: Staying true to one’s values and ethics.
  • “That first small action can lead to ever and ever greater negative actions.” – Dr. Doty [12:06]
• J – Social Justice: Personal responsibility for the less fortunate.
• K – Kindness: Compassion in action—benefiting others without expectation.
• L – Love: The ultimate connector; “the box that contains every one of those other letters.” – Dr. Doty [13:33]

4. Daily Ritual and Personal Practice

• Dr. Doty describes his morning ritual of using the beads and mentally reviewing the mnemonic, emphasizing the importance of “intention and purpose.”
  • “I carry those beads around with me. And so it’s really been quite extraordinary.” – Dr. Doty [06:36]
  • “It centers me, it allows me to be open, it allows me to care.” – Dr. Doty [13:40]

5. The Final Guided Meditation: Clarifying Intent [14:05 – 19:34]

• Dr. Doty shares “Trick #4” taught by Ruth:
  • Relax the body, breathe deeply.
  • Tame the mind and be present.
  • Clarify an intention or goal (must be ethical and not cause harm).
  • Visualize the accomplished goal, experience the associated feelings, and add sensory detail with each repetition.
  • Repeat 10–30 minutes daily. Over time, the vision becomes clearer and more integrated, increasing the likelihood of manifesting the goal.
  • “With this clarity of intent, a vision becomes a reality.” – Dr. Doty [19:34]

6. Memorable Quotes & Reflections

• “Never underestimate the power of one small deed. And in fact, it’s from those small beginnings that big things grow.” – James Kirby [08:05]
• “It's been my privilege too, and it's really been a joy getting to know you and your family.” – Dr. Doty [22:03]

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “The very nature of our humanity is that both extremes will occur, and typically none of them is going to last forever.” – Dr. Doty [10:41]
• “When one remains angry or hostile towards another who they think has wronged them, it's often like drinking poison and somehow thinking that it's going to kill the other person.” – Dr. Doty [11:08]
• “Kindness is actually compassion in action, and there doesn't actually have to be suffering within another to demonstrate kindness.” – Dr. Doty [12:42]
• “It really is the box that contains every one of those other letters.” [13:33] (on Love)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• 00:37: Dr. Doty reflects on the creation and global journey of the Alphabet of the Heart.
• 04:42: The story of Ann Helmke and the spread of compassion beads.
• 09:47: Step-by-step explanation of each letter in the Alphabet.
• 14:05: Introduction to the final guided meditation: clarifying intent.
• 19:34: Closing statements and gratitude.

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Final Thoughts

The finale celebrates the journey and far-reaching influence of the Alphabet of the Heart, underscoring the lasting importance of living with intention, compassion, and mindful self-reflection. Dr. Doty encourages listeners to integrate these principles into daily life—not only to ease one’s own suffering and build resilience, but to positively touch the lives of others, one small deed at a time.

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For further reflection and resources:

• Podcasts available via CCARE (Stanford), iTunes, Dr. Doty’s websites.
• Listeners are encouraged to share feedback or suggest additions to the Alphabet.
• [“It would really be wonderful to hear from you… and hopefully also a vision of how you might manifest your best self.” – Dr. Doty, 20:02]

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This summary is intended to provide both an in-depth overview and key insights from the episode for those who haven’t listened. The warm, conversational tone and practical wisdom capture the podcast’s essence and offer a guide for ongoing personal growth.

Transcript

[James Kirby]

And welcome to the final podcast in this podcast series called the Alphabet of the Heart. My name is James Kirby, and I'm joined here for the final time with Dr. James Doty.

[Dr. James Doty]

Wonderful to be with you, James.

[James Kirby]

I gotta tell you, I'm a little sad in wrapping up this podcast series. It's been an absolute delight, the last, you know, 12 podcasts with you. So thank you for engaging with me in these conversations.

[Dr. James Doty]

Well, no, and I also want to thank you for really being the impetus for creating this podcast on the Alphabet of the heart.

[James Kirby]

And I suppose that, in some ways, will be somewhat of the theme of today's podcast. And that is, you know, wow. I mean, you know, you wrote the book, and, you know, it's now been translated into 22 different languages. In fact, you're about to fly out to the Netherlands to talk about it as a keynote speaker, and it's just been taken up in so many different ways, particularly as Alphabet of the Heart. I mean, did you ever expect that?

[Dr. James Doty]

No, not. Not at all. And in fact, as I've said a bit earlier in the podcast, the Alphabet was created after I had been asked to be the keynote speaker at the white coat ceremony ceremony for incoming medical students at my alma mater, Tulane University School of Medicine. And the requirement that I actually give this keynote address to inspire these students actually led me to have this reflection on my own life and the experiences I've had and really the key aspects of the lessons that I've learned and hopefully made me a better human being. And they began with this interaction I had with this woman named Ruth in the Magic Shop. That's the title of the book. And. But really, following that talk, not only did that receive standing ovation from the medical students, this mnemonic, if you will, that I had indicated I found useful and summarized my own sort of worldview from the experiences I've had and how it could help make an individual not only a better physician, but a better person by actually going through this Alphabet on a daily basis with intention. But the extraordinary thing that happened from that was that about a few months after that talk, I received an email from a woman who's the spiritual director of the largest homeless shelter in the United States, and her name is Ann Helmke. And actually, what's extraordinary is Ann has just been down in Cape Town with my friend Desmond tutu, celebrating his 85th birthday. So if Ann's listening. Hello, Ann. But anyway, Ann had become burned out from her position, which can be quite challenging. And what she told me was that all her Friends who are people of faith. Many of them had tried to give her scripture or other sayings or tools that would sort of reinvigorate her and give her the strength to return to work. And really nothing had worked. And on the last day at work, someone shared with her this Alphabet of the heart, and she found it so inspiring that it gave her the strength to return to work. And you can imagine receiving an email from someone who tells you that it was really, really very moving. And then I thanked her for that note. And then a few months later, she sent me a note saying how this practice had been incorporated in regard to many of the clients at the homeless shelter. And again, very, very moving. A few months later, she sent me another email. What's extraordinary, she said, I shared your story with a good friend of mine whose daughter makes beads. And as you know, beads are present in many religions as a method of centering oneself in regard to their faith. They can be called mala beads in Buddhism or Hinduism or prayer beads, if you will. And she said, my friend's daughter was so moved that she actually took those 10 letters and made a mala out of it. And. But on her own, she added a golden bead to represent the Golden Rule, which really in many ways summarizes the the Alphabet. It really is an expression. All the actions involved are an expression of the Golden Rule. And as you know, the golden rule is do unto others as you wish those to do unto you. And it really actually is quite profound. And again, this has been present for thousands of years, and there's deep truth to that. So, anyway, she made this set of beads, and Ann expressed to me how she was using them. And then she sent me some, and I began using them as my own practice, where I would wake up each morning and sit by the bed, acknowledging my gratitude for simply being present and being so blessed with so many wonderful things. And then I would, with intention, go through the letters, and again, finally, at the end, holding this golden bead, and again thinking how I wish to be treated and manifesting this as this desire to demonstrate kindness and love to others. And that's become my practice. I carry those beads around with me. And so it's really been quite extraordinary. And now to complete this story is Ann actually, then, a few months after telling me that she these beats had been created, sent me an email and said she was so moved by this still that she had created a videotape on YouTube that actually is quite beautiful. You can find it at ww salsa.net for forward slash peace P E, A C, E on YouTube and actually shows this young lady making the beads, stringing them through, adding the golden bead. And Anna's speaking, talking about how through intention and repetition, one can create super neural highways of compassion. And how this idea of neuroplasticity or change in your brain is demonstrated by. By this type of an action where you can change your brain to be more compassionate and kind. And really, that has spread all over the world. The beads are now present all over the world and in fact, they're sold as a fundraiser for the homeless shelter in San Antonio. And it's interesting how such an idea can spread. And in fact, a friend of mine sent me a photograph that he took while on a medical missionary in Nicaragua. And it was his first day as a surgeon at this hospital. And he went in to wash his hands to begin an operation. And amazingly, someone had written out on a piece of paper above the scrub sink the Alphabet of the heart. And he photographed it and sent it to me.

[James Kirby]

That's amazing.

[Dr. James Doty]

It was just incredible, incredibly moving to show you how there's so much power and, and things like this sometimes.

[James Kirby]

Oh, absolutely. And it also just shows you, and this has really been at the key of every podcast, how, you know, never underestimate the power of one small deed. And in fact, it's from those small beginnings that big things grow. And who would have thought putting together a mnemonic like this for a white coat ceremony would lead to a key element within the book, which would lead to the speeds which would lead to people taking it and using it and to help cultivate compassion within their own lives, let alone this podcast. And now discussing them more in depth. And I think also you've received emails and letters from all walks of life from people from all walks of life. I know the other day you received a letter from someone in the prison system and also someone from in residential care and how they read it to individuals within that care setting.

[Dr. James Doty]

No, no, that's right. And in fact, I know a number of teachers who have introduced this as a practice within the classroom to promote resilience and to give the kids a tool to sort of look at the world in a different way. And so again, I feel incredibly blessed and humbled and thankful that this has actually happened.

[James Kirby]

So I suppose at this point it's a little late in the podcast to say, but I will. Anyway, if this is the first time you're tuning in, it might be useful to go back and listen to some of our earlier podcasts. And in each podcast we've gone through each letter of the Alphabet of the heart, starting at C, ending in l. And perhaps, Dr. Doty, you might like to briefly take us through what each of those letters represents.

[Dr. James Doty]

Of course. So beginning the Alphabet of the heart. C is for compassion, compassion towards yourself and others, recognizing that everyone is suffering and deserves our compassion. D is for dignity. Recognizing that every human being, regardless of their situation or circumstance, deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. They are your equal. E for equanimity. Life will always have its ups and downs. And while one often wishes the ups could last forever, it is not in

[James Kirby]

our lot as humans.

[Dr. James Doty]

So don't grab too tight on the ups. Often it's the downs that teach us

[James Kirby]

the greatest lessons about who we are

[Dr. James Doty]

or what we can become. So try to have an evenness of

[James Kirby]

spirit, a calmness and a steadiness, regardless

[Dr. James Doty]

of whether life is treating you in a good way or a bad way. The very nature of our humanity is that both extremes will occur, and typically none of them is going to last forever. F is for forgiveness. Because people are going to disappoint us, and in fact, we're going to disappoint others. And.

[James Kirby]

And when one remains angry or hostile

[Dr. James Doty]

towards another who they think has wronged them, it's often like drinking poison and somehow thinking that it's going to kill the other person. It doesn't work and only makes you suffer. And also when you reflect on how you would like to be treated if you've done an action against another and perhaps even recognized that it was a negative action, how you yourself would like to be forgiven and how others have forgiven you in the past. G is for gratitude. Appreciating how fortunate we are in having gratitude for what we have and not having attachment to this perception that others have more than you or may not deserve having more than you.

[James Kirby]

H is for humility. Being humble can be very difficult sometimes,

[Dr. James Doty]

but the reality is that recognizing that we are no more important than any

[James Kirby]

other person and looking at each person as an equality allows us to serve

[Dr. James Doty]

without feeling superior or feeling pity for another.

[James Kirby]

I is for integrity.

[Dr. James Doty]

Having personal values, ethics, integrity. And knowing that if you start making exceptions to your values, that oftentimes this is a slippery slope and can result in us compromising our best selves. And oftentimes that first small action can lead to ever and ever greater negative actions. J is for social justice, understanding that each of us has personal responsibility towards

[James Kirby]

those who are less fortunate or vulnerable.

[Dr. James Doty]

K is for kindness, the implementation or the active component of compassion. It's the recognition of another's suffering and the desire to intervene and relieve suffering that defines compassion. But kindness is actually compassion and action, and there doesn't actually have to be suffering within another to demonstrate kindness. It's simply this intention selflessly to simply be a benefit to another and care for them. F finally is for our L finally is for love. It's the glue that connects us all and, when freely given, is returned to us over and over again. And it really is the box that contains every one of those other letters.

[James Kirby]

And this mnemonic for me connects me to my heart.

[Dr. James Doty]

It centers me, it allows me to be open, it allows me to care. And as I said earlier, I begin

[James Kirby]

each day sitting with the Alphabet, going through it with intention and purpose, and actually repeat it throughout the day.

[Dr. James Doty]

In fact, as I said earlier, I actually carry a set of these beads

[James Kirby]

with me throughout the day.

[Dr. James Doty]

Maybe since we haven't gone over the last trick trick number four that Ruth taught me, maybe I could share that with you. Because we talked about intention throughout this podcast, we talked about the nature of reality and having insight and clarity into what that means and who we are and how to be our best selves. So let me share that with you as we complete this last podcast, which I hope you enjoy.

[James Kirby]

Clarifying your intent

[Dr. James Doty]

as we talked about with the other tricks, one of the

[James Kirby]

first things to do is to relax your body, to slowly breathe in through

[Dr. James Doty]

your nose and out.

[James Kirby]

We talked about taming the mind and being present. We talked about this idea of open heartedness. The goal of this exercise is to think of something you wish to accomplish, perhaps an aspect of yourself that you wish to improve, or a goal or a task that's important to you but is yet not fully formed in your mind. It is important that such a goal or vision, though, is one that does not involve harm to another or bad intention. While this technique could help you accomplish such a goal, it will ultimately result in pain and suffering to yourself, make

[Dr. James Doty]

you unhappy, and potentially make many others unhappy.

[James Kirby]

So begin relaxing your body and once you're relaxed and you're focused on your breathing and you've tried to empty your mind of all the thoughts that you're having that are flowing by you, don't connect to them or have a response

[Dr. James Doty]

to them, but just sit with them and let them go by.

[James Kirby]

When those thoughts arise, guide your attention back to your breath and continue to breathe in and out, completely emptying your mind. Now what I'd like you to do is to think of a goal or a task and see yourself as having accomplished that task. Sit with the vision as you slowly breathe in and out, in and out. Feel the positive emotions associated with accomplishing your goal or having achieved your wish. Experience how good it feels to have taken a thought and turned it into reality. Sit with that positive feeling as you see yourself having accomplished your task or your goal. And once you've seen yourself in this position, begin to add details to the vision. How do you look? Where are you? How are people responding to you? Add as much detail as you can to this vision as you repeat it over and over, slowly breathing in and exhaling. Repeat this one to two times daily or more for 10 to 30 minutes each day and again each time. Begin with the vision of yourself having accomplished your goal. Sit with the feelings. Each time as you look at the vision, add more and more detail. The vision will initially begin being quite fuzzy. There are parts missing.

[Dr. James Doty]

You're not seeing it clearly.

[James Kirby]

But you will find as you repeat this exercise over and over over, the details of that vision become clearer and clearer as that vision, that task you wish to accomplish, is incorporated into your subconscious. With each time you do the exercise, you will find you are finding the vision as your unconscious mind begins Having clarity of intention. This is not to say that the path from point A to point B will be a straight line or without hills and valleys or detours, but once it is set as an intention in your mind and seeing that vision over and over become clearer and clearer, it will result in that intention manifesting, more likely than not, by having this repeating intention and vision of what you wish to accomplish. It's not so much how you get there as I spoke about, but is actually having the goal manifest. It is with this clarity of intent that a vision becomes a reality.

[Dr. James Doty]

James, thank you again.

[James Kirby]

I hope for our listeners that this podcast has offered you some insights, some

[Dr. James Doty]

practical techniques that will allow you to

[James Kirby]

become your best self.

[Dr. James Doty]

I would love to hear from you your comments about what you think of this podcast.

[James Kirby]

Maybe if you have some insights that

[Dr. James Doty]

might make it better or maybe even adding some more to our Alphabet, it would really be wonderful to hear from you. And again, I do hope that this offers you some relief from your own suffering and hopefully also a vision of how you might manifest your best self. So thank you again James for helping this podcast manifest. Thank you Tulane for asking me to speak and really resulting in this reflection which ultimately became the Alphabet. And thank you and for manifesting the compassion beads again everyone. I have much gratitude and it's really been wonderful to be with you. Thank you.

[James Kirby]

Thank you so much Dr. Doty, for firstly sharing that beautiful meditation with us. Thank you so much. And also for sharing this Alphabet with us. All is through giving that to us that so much good has come. So we are very much in your debt. So thank you so much. And these are accessible these podcasts from various sources such as the center for Compassion Altruism Research and Education website or CCARE for short. That's at CCare Stanford. Edu. You can also subscribe to the podcast on itunes. You can also go to Dr. Doty's

[Dr. James Doty]

website, James R dotymt.com and into the magic shop.com and please feel free to

[James Kirby]

listen to these as many times as you wish. And also, I'm sure this won't be the last time Dr. Durdy will be on the podcast airwave. So stay tuned for what might be possible in the future with this continued podcast series. And I just want to finish up by saying thank you so much Dr. Doty, for this absolute privilege of an experience. So thank you.

[Dr. James Doty]

Well, it's been my privilege too, and it's really been a joy getting to know you and your family. And it also gives me great memories being recalled of my time in Australia. And I'm really looking forward to coming and visiting you and our mutual friend Stan Stendo, who I'll just mention here because he's such a wonderful guy and in some ways your path to me has been through Stan. So Stan, I know you're out there somewhere, so take care.

[James Kirby]

That's lovely. Thanks Dr. Davey. Bye bye.