Build People Up With Your Words | Victoria Osteen

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Joel Osteen Podcast

Episode: Build People Up With Your Words | Victoria Osteen
Host: Joel Osteen
Guest: Victoria Osteen
Date: September 27, 2025

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Overview

In this uplifting episode, Victoria Osteen delivers a heartfelt message on the power of words and the importance of building others up through what we say. Drawing on biblical principles, personal anecdotes, and thirty years of marriage to Joel, Victoria encourages listeners to become "bucket fillers," using their words to deposit positivity, grace, and encouragement into others' lives. The theme centers on how intentional, kind words can strengthen relationships, boost confidence, and positively shape our own experiences.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Being a "Bucket Filler" vs. "Bucket Dipper"

[01:44]

• Victoria introduces the concept of being a "bucket filler": someone who makes positive deposits into others' lives with their words and actions.
• A "bucket dipper" is someone who depletes others through criticism and harshness, often unaware they're also depleting themselves.

  “Bucket dippers don’t even realize that they’re depleting their own bucket. You see, when you fill other people’s buckets, you’ll have your bucket filled.” — Victoria Osteen [01:57]

2. The Biblical Call to Build Others Up

[02:15]

• Victoria references Ephesians 4:29, emphasizing the importance of letting "no unwholesome talk" leave our mouths, but only what builds others up.
• Words can act as social "glue," binding relationships and communities.

3. Choosing Words: The Power of Intention

[03:50]

• Victoria likens word choice to shopping for clothes—encouraging listeners to be deliberate and thoughtful before "putting on" their words each day.
• She urges people to “clothe” themselves in positive words, as those will ultimately become the fruit of their lives.

  “I want to encourage us to take the same time to choose wisely the words that we speak out of our mouth. Because the truth is this: we’re going to wear those words.” — Victoria Osteen [05:05]

4. Personal Reflection: Lessons from 30 Years of Marriage

[06:00]

• Victoria shares candidly about her early years of marriage, admitting she once didn’t weigh her words with Joel.
• She recalls a pivotal moment when God challenged her to speak more wisely, warning her that unwise words could damage her relationship.

  “If you don’t begin to choose your words wisely, you’re going to be sorry. Your own words are going to work against you.” — Victoria Osteen, recalling God’s counsel [06:40]

• She chose to become a buoy for Joel, lifting him up instead of acting as an anchor.

5. The Principle of Giving

[08:05]

• Building a strong relationship is about focusing on what you give, not just what you get.
• Extending grace, kindness, and encouragement are investments that pay dividends—what you sow, you reap.

6. The Golden Rule

[08:55]

• Victoria reminds listeners that the Golden Rule (“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”) is rooted in Matthew 7:12.
• She underscores that the principle applies to words and actions, shaping the atmosphere of homes and relationships.

7. Speaking to Potential: Peter and Jesus

[10:35]

• Victoria reflects on the disciple Peter, whose name means “rock,” noting that Jesus called out the potential in him even when he faltered.
• She encourages listeners to “speak to the potential” in others, seeing beyond current flaws.

  “Despite Peter’s personality, Jesus called Peter the rock. We’ve got to speak to each other’s potential.” — Victoria Osteen [10:50]

8. The Ripple Effect of Grace

[11:03]

• Concludes with an encouragement for everyone to extend grace and be a “bucket filler,” trusting that the grace you give will return to you.

  “If you extend grace, you will have grace extended to you. We can all be better. We’re learning, we’re growing, we’re becoming.” — Victoria Osteen [11:05]

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Memorable Quotes & Notable Moments

• “When I build people, I build myself. Whatever I throw out is going to come back to me.” — Victoria Osteen [04:44]
• "A good relationship is built on what you’re willing to give more than what you’re willing to receive." — Victoria Osteen [07:55]
• “You are a builder today. I want to encourage you with that, because too often we are unconscious about literally what we are doing throughout the day.” — Victoria Osteen [04:32]
• “We are creating Peters all around us as we create the Peter on the inside of us.” — Victoria Osteen [11:01]

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Important Timestamps

• 01:44 – Introduction of "bucket fillers" and "bucket dippers"
• 02:15 – Ephesians 4:29: Only speak what builds others up
• 03:50 – Words as relationship glue; deliberate choices
• 05:05 – The analogy of choosing words like clothes
• 06:00–08:05 – Lessons from 30 years of marriage; power of grace
• 08:55 – The Golden Rule: Matthew 7:12
• 10:35 – The story of Peter and calling out potential
• 11:03 – Closing encouragement on grace and becoming

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Closing Thoughts

Victoria Osteen’s message is uplifting, practical, and rooted in scripture, inviting listeners to reflect on the profound impact of their words. By choosing to be builders—"bucket fillers"—and extending grace, faith, and encouragement, we not only enrich others but cultivate a more fulfilling life and stronger relationships for ourselves.

Final Blessing:

“Remember, you’re a bucket filler. Stop and choose your words wisely, because I believe when you do that, when you’re willing to extend grace, that same grace will come back. Amen.” — Victoria Osteen [11:03]

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Transcript

[Casual Conversationalist]

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[Commercial Voice]

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[Casual Conversationalist]

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[Joel Osteen]

Hi, this is Joel and Victoria. Thanks for listening to our podcast and thanks for supporting the ministry.

[Casual Conversationalist]

If you enjoyed today's message, why don't you be a blessing and share it with a friend?

[Joel Osteen]

We appreciate you and pray for God's very best in your life.

[Casual Conversationalist]

Amen. Amen. You may be seated. I want to encourage us all today to be bucket fillers. What's a bucket filler? A bucket filler is someone who is willing to make deposits, positive deposits, in the life of other people. Not only with their words, but with their actions. See, a bucket filler is someone who is willing to give. There's too many bucket dippers in this world. Too many bucket dippers. What's a bucket dipper? A bucket dipper is someone who dips out of the emotional bank of others with harsh words and criticism. Someone who dips out of the life of other people. You see, the thing about bucket dippers. Bucket dippers don't even realize that they're depleting their own bucket. You see, when you fill Other people's buckets. You'll have your bucket filled. We want to be bucket fillers. We have tremendous power and influence with our words. Listen to what it says in Ephesians 4. 29. It says, Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up, for benefiting the hearer, for extending grace to those other people, for building people up. You see, it is up to us. It starts with us. We can be the builders. We can be the one to turn this thing around. We don't have to go with the flow, but we can swim upstream because we have God on the inside of us. But we have to make a decision that we're going to be builders. You know, not only can we build people with our words, find the best and bring it out in them, but do you know that our words can literally be the glue that holds our relationships together? It can literally bind us together when we speak positive, faith filled words over one another. When we're willing to pick out the good and not see the bad. You see, it's easy to see what's wrong, but it takes a builder to see what's right. It takes a builder to know architecturally how to fix things. You are a builder today. I want to encourage you with that because too often we are unconscious about literally what we are doing throughout the day. And I want us to all go out of here saying, I am a builder of people, because when I build people, I build myself. Whatever I throw out is going to come back to me. Joel and I have been married 30 years and we've learned a lot about building. We've learned a lot about extending grace to one another through our words. To be married for 30 years, you know, you have to give each other great grace and you have to use your words to do it. You see, we realize really a good relationship is built on what you're willing to give more than what you're willing to receive. We all want to be loved. We all want the other person to show us kindness. But to get the kindness, we have to be willing to give. Because really what you give is really what's going to come back to you. Are you just looking for someone to give you something in your relationship? I'm telling you, this is a principle that if we will understand, I believe things will change in our life when we understand that being willing to extend grace and give grace is what's going to build our relationships. We've all heard this when we were young, the golden rule Your mom probably taught you. Your first grade teacher probably had you recite it. But did you know that the Golden Rule is found in Matthew 7:12? It says this so in everything, do unto others what you would have them do to you. You see what I'm saying? Do unto others what you would have them do unto you. You know, I think about this when you go buy a shirt or you're gonna go buy an outfit at the store. You don't just run into the store and blindly grab something, pay for it, run out the door and put it on. No, you choose wisely. You go in, you look at the clothes, you decide what's gonna work for you, what will be the best for you. You take time and effort. You buy those clothes, you take them home and you put them on. You take time to clothe yourself. I want to encourage us to take the same time to choose wisely the words that we speak out of our mouth. Because the truth is this. We're going to wear those words. We are going to be a product of what we say. We are going to eat from the fruit of our lips. You know, sometimes we just throw caution to the window, not thinking it's gonna affect us. But can I tell you, what you say is going to affect you. Now, I have to admit this. When I was a young bride and I first married Joel 30 years ago, I didn't weigh my words. I wasn't putting the glue on my relationship like I should have. I'll never forget this. God spoke to me one day and he said, victoria, he said, if you don't begin to choose your words wisely, you're going to be sorry. He basically said, your own words are going to work against you. I was a young bride. I was a young. I was new to this thing, and I didn't always weigh my words right. I was used to kind of having my own way, doing it the way I wanted to do it. And I thought, he should get into the program. But can I tell you this? I stand up here today, and I remember God speaking to my heart like it was yesterday. It brought tears to my eyes. It was a serious matter. And I am so grateful that I took heed to what God told me. I began to think about what I was building. I began to think about the grace that I was extending. You see, I wanted a man that was successful. I wanted a man that believed in himself, that had confidence. I wanted to be the buoy that pushed him up, not the anchor that pulled him down. I began to say, what I wanted not what I saw or what I thought I saw. I begin to see the good and bring out the good. Now can I tell you, to this day, I am not perfect, but I make far more deposits than I do withdrawals. Far more deposits than I do withdrawals. It's kind of like your bank account. If you keep writing those checks, you're going to go bankrupt. You got to put checks in, you got to fill that account before you think about pulling anything out. So today I just want to encourage every one of us we can create a life that we want with the words that we speak. If you want grace, you better extend grace because we're all becoming. I think about Peter. He was a disciple of Jesus. He walked with Jesus. And if you read about Peter's life, sometimes he was. He was impatient. He would say things he shouldn't. In fact, his name, Simon Peter, actually means pebble. And I'm sure some of the things he did, he felt like a pebble some days. But you know what? He was Jesus disciple. And Jesus said, peter, you're a rock. You see, despite Peter's personality, Jesus called Peter the rock. Out in him, he spoke to the potential. And we are the church of the living God. We've got to speak to each other's potential. We are building this on a solid foundation, on a rock. We can't be influenced by what we see. We've got to make a decision that we are builders. Because I can tell you, if you extend grace, you will have a grace extended to you. We can all be better. We're learning, we're growing, we're becoming, we're in the process. We're creating peters all around us as we create the Peter on the inside of us. Remember, you're a bucket filler. Stop and choose your words wisely. Because I believe when you do that, when you're willing to extend grace, that same grace will come back. Amen. Amen. He's an awesome God.

[Commercial Voice]

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[Joel Osteen]

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[Commercial Voice]

When you contact us today, we'll send you Happy, Healthy and free a 31 day wellness journey as our way of saying thank you for your gift of any amount. This devotional will help you strengthen your faith, declare God's promises and receive the healing he's already made available to you. Spirit, soul and body. God wants you whole and this resource will help you experience his peace from the inside out. Please request your copy today. Begin a life with life giving journey that will transform your spirit, mind and body. In just 31 days.

[Joel Osteen]

God is going to restore what the enemy tried to steal. Your joy, your peace, your health. Victoria and I pray for you and your family every day. Thanks so much for your prayer and support. Your generosity is bringing hope to people around the world. Special thank you to our Champion of Hope partners. Your monthly gifts. If you're not a partner, I hope you'll consider becoming one. Remember, you can watch the services online every Sunday morning. Download our daily podcast watch on YouTube, the new Joel Osteen Network Social Media. You can listen on SiriusXM 24 hours a day. We'll keep you encouraged and inspired until we see you next time. May the Lord bless you and keep you.

[Commercial Voice]

Be sure to request your copy of Happy, healthy and a 31 day wellness journey, visit jolosteen.com or call 888-567-joel for an additional gift. This month we are also offering the Wholeness and Promise Bundle which includes the Happy, Healthy and Free Book plus the Words of Promise Journal, a beautifully designed journal where you can reflect, record prayers and and speak life over your future. You can also request the Happy, Healthy and Free collection featuring the Devotional, the Journal and a beautifully crafted set of three desktop encouragement blocks. Each whitewashed wooden block displays one powerful word, Happy, Healthy and Free along with a carefully chosen scripture. Place them in your home or workspace as daily reminders of God's promises for your life. You can request these life changing resources by calling 888-567 Joel or logging on to jolostein.com today. Call or click anytime 24 hours a day. This is your season to rise stronger, live lighter and walk daily in God's healing and peace. Request your copies today.

[Joel Osteen]

If you're a pastor, we'd like to invite you to our Pastor's Gathering. We'd be honored to spend the day with you here at Lakewood. We'll share some of the things we've learned, insights and behind the scenes be a time of inspiration and encouragement. We'd Love to meet you.

[Commercial Voice]

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