Don't Live For Approval | Joel Osteen - Joel Osteen Podcast

Joel Osteen Podcast Summary: "Don't Live For Approval"

Episode Overview In the January 2, 2025 episode of the Joel Osteen Podcast titled "Don't Live For Approval," Joel and Victoria Osteen delve into the pervasive issue of seeking validation from others and emphasize the importance of finding approval through faith in God. The episode offers insightful discussions, personal anecdotes, and biblical references to encourage listeners to prioritize their divine destiny over societal expectations.

Introduction: Embracing a New Beginning

Victoria Osteen opens the episode with a lighthearted anecdote to engage listeners, setting the tone for a blend of humor and profound spiritual insights. This approach makes the forthcoming messages both relatable and impactful.

The Pitfall of Seeking Human Approval

Joel and Victoria address a common struggle: allowing others' opinions to dictate one's self-worth and decisions. They highlight how the desire for approval can lead to manipulation and loss of personal identity. Joel states, “Too many people get their worth and value out of what other people think” (04:20), underscoring the emotional toll of constantly striving to meet external expectations.

Consequences of People-Pleasing

Victoria elaborates on how seeking approval can result in being controlled and boxed into roles that aren't true to oneself. She explains, “We end up being controlled and manipulated. We let people put us into a box and make us into something that we're not” (10:15). This loss of autonomy prevents individuals from pursuing their true passions and destinies.

Finding Freedom Through Divine Approval

Transitioning to the solution, Joel emphasizes the liberation that comes from seeking God's approval instead of human validation. “There’s a real freedom when you realize you don’t need other people’s approval. You have Almighty God’s approval” (15:45). This shift in focus empowers individuals to live authentically and pursue their God-given dreams without fear of judgment.

Personal Testimonies and Experiences

Joel shares his personal journey of stepping into pastoral leadership after his father's passing. Faced with unsolicited advice from a longtime acquaintance, Joel recounts, “I had to risk falling out of his good grace to follow my own heart. It was a difficult decision, but I knew it was better to have God's approval than to have man's approval” (18:30). This story illustrates the challenges and rewards of prioritizing divine guidance over human expectations.

Victoria echoes this sentiment by discussing the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive individuals. She shares Joyce Meyer's experience, where despite initial resistance from a pastor, following her heart led to significant growth: “After that, we’ve grown by about 20,000 people. We’re doing okay” (22:50). This example reinforces the message that true support comes from faith and genuine connections, not forced approval.

Biblical Foundations: Luke 18

The episode references Luke 18 to highlight the spiritual principle of sacrificing worldly attachments for divine rewards. Victoria explains, “Jesus said, if anyone gives up family, friends, houses for my sake in this life, they will be paid back many times over” (24:10). This scripture serves as a cornerstone for the episode's theme, encouraging listeners to prioritize their spiritual journey.

Overcoming Manipulation and Control

Joel warns against individuals who use spiritual rhetoric to manipulate others, emphasizing the importance of discerning true divine guidance. “Some people will use the scripture, spiritual things, a word from the Lord to try to manipulate and control and get their way. Don’t fall into that trap” (19:55). This cautionary advice helps listeners navigate relationships and advice that may hinder their spiritual progress.

Maintaining Personal Integrity

Both Joel and Victoria advocate for maintaining personal integrity by following one's inner convictions aligned with God's will. They encourage listeners to “step into a new level of your destiny” by focusing on personal growth and faith rather than external validation.

Encouragement and Empowerment

The episode culminates with a powerful affirmation of listeners' potential when they rely on God's approval. Joel declares, “You’re going to step into a new level of your destiny. You’re going to see new steps, seasons of growth, new friendships, new opportunities” (25:50). This encouragement serves as a motivational call to action, inspiring listeners to embrace their unique paths with confidence and faith.

Victoria reinforces this by urging listeners to surround themselves with supportive individuals and to let go of those who hinder their progress. “Save your time and energy for people that you know are behind you” (26:18), she advises, highlighting the importance of a positive and uplifting community.

Conclusion: Embracing Your God-Given Path

Joel and Victoria close the episode by reaffirming the significance of divine approval over human validation. They invite listeners to pray and commit to a life led by faith, ensuring that they remain focused on fulfilling their God-given destinies without the burden of seeking approval from others.

Notable Quotes:

Joel Osteen [04:20]: “Too many people get their worth and value out of what other people think.”
Victoria Osteen [10:15]: “We end up being controlled and manipulated. We let people put us into a box and make us into something that we're not.”
Joel Osteen [15:45]: “There’s a real freedom when you realize you don’t need other people’s approval. You have Almighty God’s approval.”
Joel Osteen [18:30]: “I had to risk falling out of his good grace to follow my own heart. It was a difficult decision, but I knew it was better to have God's approval than to have man's approval.”
Victoria Osteen [22:50]: “After that, we’ve grown by about 20,000 people. We’re doing okay.”
Victoria Osteen [24:10]: “Jesus said, if anyone gives up family, friends, houses for my sake in this life, they will be paid back many times over.”
Joel Osteen [19:55]: “Some people will use the scripture, spiritual things, a word from the Lord to try to manipulate and control and get their way. Don’t fall into that trap.”
Joel Osteen [25:50]: “You’re going to step into a new level of your destiny. You’re going to see new steps, seasons of growth, new friendships, new opportunities.”
Victoria Osteen [26:18]: “Save your time and energy for people that you know are behind you.”

Final Thoughts "Don't Live For Approval" serves as a compelling reminder to prioritize one's relationship with God over the fluctuating opinions of others. Through personal stories, biblical teachings, and heartfelt encouragement, Joel and Victoria Osteen inspire listeners to embrace their true selves and pursue their divine destinies with unwavering faith.

Transcript

Amica Insurance Representative (0:00)

At Ameca Insurance, we know it's more than just a car or a house. It's the four wheels that get you where you're going and the four walls that welcome you home. When you combine auto and home insurance with Amica, we'll help protect it all. And the more you cover, the more you can save Ameca. Empathy is our best policy.

McCormick Representative (0:31)

For over 130 years, McCormick has helped you make mom's lasagna to keep her secret recipe alive. Take over taco night no matter how chaotic your day is. Conquer the bake sale, even if you get to it last minute. And craft the perfect Sunday brunch when it's not even Sunday. Because with McCormick by your side, it's going to be great.

LinkedIn Sales Navigator Representative (1:02)

Is anyone out there another salesperson enduring the endless search? Exhausting. If you want to get right to the right conversations, you need LinkedIn Sales Navigator. Whether you're looking for new leads or strengthening existing relationships at your top accounts, get right to the right conversations with LinkedIn Sales Navigator. Try LinkedIn Sales Navigator now with a free 60 day trial@LinkedIn.com trial. That's LinkedIn.com trial terms and conditions Supply.

Joel Osteen (1:34)

Hi, this is Joel in Victoria. Thanks so much for listening to the podcast and thanks for supporting the ministry.

Victoria Osteen (1:40)

We believe you're going to have an.

Joel Osteen (1:41)

Awesome 2024 healthy, productive and favor filled. God bless you today and enjoy the message.

Victoria Osteen (1:48)

Well, God bless you. It's always a joy to come into your homes. We love you and we know God has great things in store. If you're ever in our area, I hope you'll stop by and be a part of one of our services. I promise you we'll make you feel right at home. Thanks so much for coming out today and I like to start with something funny each week. And you know, these are not all doctrinally correct, especially today, but I heard about this middle aged woman. She had a heart attack and on the operating table she asked God if this was it. God said, no, you have 40 more years. Upon recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital, have a major facelift, a tummy tuck, liposuction and extreme makeover. Two months later as she was leaving the hospital, she got hit by a car and killed. She got to heaven and said, God, I thought you said I had 40 more years. God said, I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. All right, hold up your Bible. Say it like you mean it. This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. I have what it says I have. I Can do what it says I can do. Today I will be taught the word of God. I boldly confess. My mind is alert, my heart is receptive. I will never be the same. In Jesus name. God bless you. I want to talk to you today about not living for approval. Too many people get their worth and value out of what other people think. Do they like me? Do they approve me? Do they think that I'm important? Because of their insecurity, they're constantly playing up to people trying to win their favor, trying to meet every expectation. When we do this, we end up being controlled and manipulated. We let people put us into a box and make us into something that we're not. I know people today, they're not following their dreams because they're so concerned that if they don't meet the demands of all their family and friends, they may fall out of their good grace. They may lose their approval. But listen, if their approval is only based on you meeting all their demands and you keeping them happy, they're not true friends. They're manipulators. They're controllers. There's a real freedom when you realize you don't need other people's approval. You have Almighty God's approval. Don't spend your life trying to keep everyone around you happy. Some people don't even want to be happy. You got to be secure enough to say, I love you, but I'm not going to let you control me. You may not give me your blessing, but that's okay. I have God's blessing. And I'm not going to be a people pleaser. I'm going to be a God pleaser. Well, you say, joel, if I do this, they may not be happy. Well, maybe it's time for them to not be happy. Instead of you not being happy, you got to take charge of your own life. If you're being manipulated and letting somebody pressure you into being something that you're not, it's not the other person's fault. It's your own fault. You control your destiny and you can be nice, you can be respectful, but you have to put your foot down. Quit allowing people to make you feel guilty because you don't meet all their demands. Quit letting someone run your life because if you don't, they're not going to give you their approval. Friends, life is too short to try to keep everyone happy. You have to accept the fact that you cannot please every person. Everyone is not going to give you their approval. If you're going to fulfill your destiny, you have to stay true to your own heart and not let the pressures of those around you squeeze you into their mold. When my father went to be with the Lord and I stepped up to pastor the church, there was an older gentleman that I'd known my whole life. And he got me aside and said, joel, if this is going to work, here's what you're going to have to do. He told me how to run the church, how to minister and how to lead the staff, how to move forward. And I listened to his advice. I was very open. But nothing he was saying to me agreed with what was on the inside. I prayed, I searched my own heart, but nothing bore witness. And I had to risk falling out of his good grace to follow my own heart. It was a difficult decision, but I knew it was better to have God's approval than to have man's approval. I stepped out and followed my heart and God blessed it. It took off, but what's interesting is I did fall out of his good grace. He wasn't happy that I didn't take his advice. And people like that, people that get upset unless you do it their way, they are not really for you. They don't have your best interests at heart. Because if they were for you, they would be mature enough to say, even if you don't do it my way, even if you don't take my suggestions, I. I'll support you. I'll be behind you because I'm your friend and I want to see you succeed. That's a true friend. When you're honest with people and you share what's in your heart, a true friend, even if they don't agree, will be mature enough to say, you know what, you can hear from God, you have the Holy Spirit on the inside, I'll be behind you. But if they just try to make you feel bad, like you have to take their advice, like you're making a big mistake, that's somebody that's more interested in controlling you than in helping you fulfill your God given destiny. When I didn't take this man's advice, he was no longer on my side. It wasn't something big and obvious, just subtle things. I'd walk into a room and I could feel his sense of disapproval. But thank God I understand what I'm telling you. I knew I. I didn't have to have his approval. He wasn't God. He wasn't sitting on the throne. He didn't write the plan for my life. I dug my heels in and said, God, he may not be for me, but I Know you're for me, God. I may not have his approval, but I know I have your approval. And that's all that really matters. I just kept pressing forward, doing what God put in my heart. And God not only brought us through that transition, but he brought us out bigger and better and greater than we ever had it before. God knows what he's doing. But I found some people, no matter what you do, they are not going to be for you. Don't spend your life trying to win the approval from someone that's never going to give you their approval. It may be a supervisor at the office, you can do your job plus three others and they're still going to look down on you. Don't worry about it. You don't need their approval. God will fight your battles. God will get you to where you're supposed to be. Maybe you have a relative that complements everyone except you in the family. You could win the super bowl and they'll ignore you and brag on everybody else. Don't let them steal your joy. You don't need their approval. They can't keep you from rising higher if you'll keep being your best. Spending your energy toward your God given dreams and not toward trying to get them to approve you and to think that you're good enough and you're talented and you're important. No, be secure in who God made you to be. Before you were born, God stamped his approval on you. I see too many people, they're playing up to other people. They're trying to win their favor and trying to impress them. They're basically trying to buy their friendship and buy their approval. The problem with that is if you start a friendship off like that, that's the only way you'll be able to keep it going. If you let them control you and just you have to meet all their demands. Then one day when you wise up and think, I'm tired of being manipulated, it's not worth all the effort and energy. They'll simply just cut you loose. You won't have their approval. After all, it's much better to trust God to bring us divine connections. That man that got upset because I didn't take his advice. He thought he knew what I was supposed to do than I did. But God will always give you direction for your life more than anybody else. Other people may have suggestions, they may have ideas, but bottom line is God speaks directly to you. The Holy Spirit lives on the inside of you. He leads you. He guides you. Yes, it's good to be open and listen to parents and mentors and friends. But you've got to follow your own heart. There is a still, small voice, a knowing right down in here, that's God talking to you. Now be careful about people that always have a word from the Lord for you. I grew up in church. I've heard a lot of words from the Lord. Some of them right on, some of them way off. But anytime someone gives you a quote word from the Lord, that should simply confirm what you already know on the inside. When that man told me how to run the church, it didn't agree with anything that I was feeling. It was totally foreign. I've learned God will not tell you something about my life and not tell me. God and I are on speaking terms. We talk every single day. Some people will use the scripture, spiritual things, a word from the Lord to try to manipulate and control and get their way. Don't fall into that trap. The man tell me a few years ago after the service, he was very well dressed, very successful, that if I didn't let him start ministering on some Sunday mornings, the church was going to go down. He said, joel, I saw it so clearly. God showed me it's not going to last unless I get involved. That word from the Lord went in one ear and out the other. And not because there's not anything in between either. Since then, we've grown by about 20,000 people. We're doing okay. What am I saying? Don't base any decision off of what somebody told you. That doesn't line up what you feel on the inside. You can hear from God for yourself. And if I would have been a people pleaser and run the church like that man wanted and ministered like he told me to, I wouldn't be where I am today. I would have his approval. But what good is that going to do me? I would rather have the approval of the creator of the universe. I would rather have the God that spoke the worlds into existence smiling down on me. Sometimes in order to please God, you're going to have to displease people. This was hard for me. My personality is to want to please everybody. I want people to like me. When you follow what's in your heart, other people may not be happy. They may not understand. You may fall out of their favor. You may even lose a friendship. When my mother was 26 years old, my father decided to leave the church that he had been pastoring for many years. The congregation wasn't really behind his new doctrine of faith and healing and miracles. My mother had friends there that she'd had for years since they were much younger. Those friends, instead of celebrating my mother's new beginning, instead of being happy for the new chapter in her life, they wouldn't have anything to do with my mother. Lifelong friends walked away, all because my father decided to launch out on his own. I love what Jesus said in Luke 18. He said, if anyone gives up family, friends, houses for my sake in this life, they will be paid back many times over. Notice, it doesn't say, when you get to heaven, God will bless you. It says right here on the Earth, if you give up anything for God's sake, he will reward you more than you can even imagine. My mother lost all of her friends. They wouldn't give her their approval anymore. But can I tell you, God is a faithful God. My mom got a whole lot of more new friends, people, more than she could even imagine. But my parents, it would have been easy for them to stay in the boat and play it safe and keep the approval of family and friends in the community. But at some point, God is going to ask you to get out of the boat. It wouldn't be as difficult if all of our friends and family members were behind us, cheering us on, encouraging us. But most of the time, a friend that you've known a long time, someone that you really look up to, going to try to convince you to stay where you are. Maybe even like my parents, they'll give you an ultimatum. Stay here and we'll support you. Don't leave, and we'll give you our approval. But if you leave, you're on your own. Now, that's when we have to say with the Apostle Paul, I would rather, please God, than be popular with people. Don't let the fear of people hold you back. What are they going to think? What are my friends going to say? Will my relatives all support me? The truth is, like with my parents, some of them may walk away. But here's what I've learned. If they leave you, you didn't need them. God said he would never leave us nor forsake us. So if they walked away, if they betrayed you, if they left and you needed them, that would mean God was forsaking you. We know God can't lie. So you can draw the conclusion. If they left me, they weren't a part of my destiny. If they don't want to be my friend, I don't need them. If they won't give me their approval, no big deal. I have God's approval. Friends, life is too short to go through it controlled, manipulated, trying to please everybody, trying to win their approval. You don't need people like that if you keep falling into that trap, letting them put the guilt trip on you, making you feel bad because you don't call every time on cue. They're upset now because you didn't take their advice. You got to go get them fixed up. That's going to keep you from your destiny. Some of you are allowing the fear of losing approval, the fear of what somebody will think, the fear of losing a friendship to keep you in a box that's not even you. You're so concerned about keeping them happy and winning their favor that you're missing out on the new things that God wants to do. And sometimes a well meaning person can try to hold us back. Jesus told Peter that he was going to Jerusalem. Peter said, no, you're not Jesus, that's dangerous. You're going to stay here with me. Peter loved Jesus. He was concerned about him, but he didn't understand his destiny. What God has put in your heart, sometimes well meaning people may not understand. It doesn't mean that you write them off, you never speak to them again. But you do have to be strong and say, this is what I believe is a part of my destiny and I'm going to move toward it. You've got to do it with or without their approval. That's what Jesus did. He looked at Peter and said, get behind me, I'm going to Jerusalem. He was strong, he was firm, but he wasn't disrespectful. He didn't say, I'm never going to speak to you because you don't agree with me. Jesus simply spoke the truth in love and went on to fulfill his destiny without Peter's approval. In the same way, you will not become everything God's created you to be, with the approval of everyone around you. I would love to tell you that all of your family and friends will be there to cheer you on and encourage you and support you. But most of the time somebody will get jealous. Somebody won't understand. Somebody will start talking about you, trying to belittle you, trying to discredit you. You can either get in there and fight that battle and try to prove to them that you're right and they're wrong, or you can take the high road. A much better approach is to have the attitude, I love them, but I don't have to have their approval. It's okay if they don't understand. I'm not going to get bitter if they Start talking. I'm not going to lose focus and try to fight that battle. I know I have Almighty God's approval. And he's promised if I give up anything for his sake, he will reward me greatly. That's a powerful attitude. When you're secure enough in who you are, you're confident enough in the destiny in front of you that even when people don't celebrate you when on purpose, they overlook you, ignore you and withhold their approval. Doesn't matter. You got a smile on your face. You keep moving forward. Keep being your best. Let me tell you, you do that and nothing will be able to stop you. The Creator of the universe will break down every barrier and get you to where you're supposed to be. Let me challenge you. Keep a good attitude. Shake off the negative voices. Pay any attention to the naysayers that are trying to discredit you and make you look bad. I've learned if you'll stay in faith, the more they talk, the higher God will take you. And sometimes we think, you know, I got to have this person, Joel. They're so important and influential. This boss, he has so much seniority. This family member, they know so many people. Now listen, the scripture says promotion doesn't come from people. Promotion comes from the Lord. You may not have the approval of someone that's, quote, important, influential. Don't waste your time trying to win their favor. Spend your time trying to win the favor of God. How do you do that? By being a person of excellence, by having an attitude of faith, by blessing your enemies, by being good to people. When you do that, you are currying favor with the Creator of the universe. He will fight your battles. God will bring you those divine connections. People that are not jealous and critical, but people that celebrate you, people that cheer you on. And some of you. Today, you need to make changes. You're spending too much time playing up to people, trying to buy their friendship, trying to win their approval. All that's doing is causing you to spin your wheels. You're not going anywhere. You need to look inside and discover what God's put in you. And then get focused and start moving toward that. You don't have time to try to convince everyone to like you. Your destiny is too great to waste time fighting battles that don't matter. If somebody doesn't celebrate you, move on. If they walked away, you didn't need them. If they didn't give you their approval, don't worry about it. You have God's approval now. Take the pressure off yourself. Playing up to people takes a lot of energy. Trying to keep everybody fixed and happy is very draining. Wondering what everybody thinks is emotionally exhausting. There's a freedom when you realize, I don't have to compete for anyone's approval. I can just run my race, focus on my goals, be my best, and God will take care of the rest. Joyce Meyer is a good friend of ours, great Bible teacher. She told how when she first started her ministry, she was in a small classroom in a little church. Every week she'd have a Bible study and about 40 people would come out. Her husband Dave would sit there on the front row supporting her. One week after the class, the pastor called them aside and said, dave, this is out of order. You should be up there teaching, and Joyce should be sitting on the front row supporting you. They were young. They didn't want to disappoint. The pastor didn't want to go against what he was saying. After all, he could put them out of that church. That's where all their friends were. And this pastor, he was a good man. But he didn't know what God had put in Joyce's heart. He didn't know she had that incredible gift to teach, to not be disrespectful to the pastor. Dave got up and started teaching. Joy sat on the front row. And yes, it was good that they were willing to come under authority. And I'm not by any means saying that if it's in your heart, just be rebellious and do whatever you want. But I am saying this. We shouldn't let other people run our lives. Some people can't even run their life, and they're trying to tell you how to run your life. Several weeks went by, and Joyce was miserable. Dave was miserable. He didn't like teaching. That's not what he was called to do. One day, Joyce finally got back up there and started teaching again. Sure enough, the pastor asked them to leave. He didn't accept them. They didn't have that approval anymore. But thank God, Joyce knew that she had God's approval, and she's been doing pretty good ever since then. But when we come to the end of our life, we're not going to stand before people, going to stand before God. It's not going to be a good excuse to say, God, I didn't fulfill my destiny because my friends wanted me to do this. My co workers pressured me and put me in this box. God, my family wouldn't give me their approval. I was just trying to keep everybody happy. No, run your race. Fulfill your destiny. It's great when we have the approval of others, but we have to accept the fact that not everyone is going to understand what you're called to do and they're going to try to put you in their box. And if you're a people pleaser, you're going to miss the awesome future that God has in store. A few years after my father went to be with the Lord, our old sanctuary filled up. The church had really grown and we needed a bigger place. My father had always told how he would never move the church. He would keep it at that location. And me being the new pastor, I wasn't about to rock the boat and change anything. We researched to see if we could build a larger facility on that same exact property. Found out the roads weren't big enough. So we went out to the freeway as close to that other location as possible. But both times the property didn't work out. When I got the word that this place was coming available, the former compact center, it's about 20 minutes from our other location, something leaped on the inside. I knew this was supposed to be ours. 99.9% of the congregation was totally behind it. The vast majority was very excited. But there was one man that was not behind it. In fact, he was totally against it. And he made sure he let me know every week after the service. He would come find me in the visitor's reception. He would say, joel, you know, your father said he would never move the church. You're making a big mistake. And I just want to let you know, if you move it, I'm not going to come. I said, you promise? I didn't, but I thought it. But everybody has a right to have their opinion. But he didn't know what I was feeling on the inside. He didn't know what God was speaking to me. I could have easily let him put me in his box and keep us from moving forward. The easy thing to do was to stay in the boat and just play it safe where we were. But sometime God is going to ask you to get out of the boat. What I'm saying is don't be surprised if a friend or a family member doesn't try to convince you to stay where you are. They may mean well, but you've got to be strong and follow what God has put in your heart. I don't like to displease people, but I've learned I may have to displease a few people. So I don't displease God.