Learn To Love Well | Victoria Osteen

Summary

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Podcast Summary: "Learn To Love Well" | Victoria Osteen

Joel Osteen Podcast | August 23, 2025
Host: Victoria Osteen (with Joel Osteen)
Duration (content only): 01:44–15:19

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Overview

This episode, led by Victoria Osteen, centers on the theme of learning to love well. Drawing on Paul’s prayer in Philippians 1, Victoria encourages listeners to let their love grow in "knowledge and depth of insight." The core message is that love is dynamic—requiring ongoing commitment, adaptability, and wisdom. Victoria blends scriptural insight, practical examples from her own life, and encouragement to help listeners build a deeper, more resilient kind of love.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Paul’s Prayer: Love that Abounds

[01:44]

• Victoria opens by referencing Paul’s prayer in Philippians 1, focusing on, “I pray that your love would abound in knowledge and depth of insight.”

• The emphasis is on not settling for the status quo of love but intentionally seeking for it to multiply and mature.

  “He wasn’t writing… because they weren’t people of love. He was saying... your love has so much potential to go so much further.”
  — Victoria Osteen [02:32]

2. Don’t Put Love on Cruise Control

[03:00]

• Victoria uses the metaphor of cruise control to illustrate the danger of letting our love grow stagnant.

• She reminds listeners that love must adapt to changing life circumstances, relationships, and personal growth—“it has to develop and grow.”

  “We can’t just put our love on autopilot… We have to understand that our love has to mature, it has to develop, and it has to grow.”
  — Victoria Osteen [03:24]

Storytime: The Husband’s One-Speed Love

[04:05]

• She tells a light-hearted story about a woman asking her husband, “Do you love me?” and the husband replying, “I told you 25 years ago I loved you. If it changes, I’ll let you know.”
• Point: Real love grows and evolves, rather than remaining static.

3. Adapting Love Through Life’s Changes

[05:00]

• Victoria reflects on how her love for her children changed as they grew. What worked when they were small—scooping up, cuddling—no longer applies in adulthood.

• The need for wisdom: understanding the current needs of those we love and adapting how we express our love.

  “I have to understand. My love has to adapt and grow to who they are. If I want to grow with them, I’m going to have to make some changes.”
  — Victoria Osteen [05:38]

4. Love as Something “Smart” and Active

[07:11]

• Love is described as "smart"—it should carry “wisdom” and “see beyond the superficial.”

• Victoria warns against “reckless and careless” love, stating that true love is proactive.

  “Love doesn’t wait for things to happen. Love makes stuff happen. Love builds relationships. Love serves. Love gives.”
  — Victoria Osteen [08:05]

5. The Source of Lasting Love: God

[09:47]

• Victoria highlights the impossibility of loving fully in our own strength, emphasizing the need to be fueled by God’s love.

• She uses the imagery of “drinking from an empty glass” to describe trying to love when personally depleted.

  “The only way that we can love is to allow the love of God in us first… That is the only way that we can love.”
  — Victoria Osteen [10:15]

Scriptural Tie-In: Greatest Commandments

[10:44]

• She references Jesus’s teaching in Matthew 22: first, to love God with heart, soul, and strength, and second, to love your neighbor as yourself.
• Connecting point: if you “get the first part of the equation right, the second part…will come much easier.” [13:21]

6. The Living Well: The Woman at the Well

[11:18]

• Victoria recalls the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4): Jesus offers “living water”—an unfailing source.
• Parallel drawn: only by drawing from God’s endless reservoir can our love truly abound and have effect.

7. Abounding Love Impacts Every Relationship

[12:34]

• Listeners are urged to seek a flow of “living love” in every relationship.

• Victoria testifies to 30+ years of adapting and “making love happen” in her marriage with Joel, noting that love is both a feeling and an action.

  “Love, it’s a feeling, but love is also an action. That feeling can either grow or… fizzle out. I want my love to grow and to abound.”
  — Victoria Osteen [13:03]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “You’re not going to be able to eat fruit that you don’t produce. You can eat only from the fruit that you produce. Just like you can’t drink out of an empty glass.”
  — Victoria Osteen [09:29]
• “When my love tank’s low, I’m trying to drink out of an empty glass. There is a source… that never runs dry, and it’s the Lord Jesus Christ.”
  — Victoria Osteen [11:00]
• “Do you want to agree with me, as I agree with Paul, that this love of God would just abound?”
  — Victoria Osteen [13:22]

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Closing Prayer

[13:40] Victoria prays for the audience, paraphrasing Paul’s prayer: “Father, our love would increase and abound in knowledge and depth of insight…”
She asks for deep, wise, adaptable love that brings “good fruit” to every relationship, rooted in God’s everlasting love.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:44 – Opening & Introduction to Paul’s Prayer
• 03:00 – The Dangers of “Cruise Control” in Love
• 04:05 – Anecdote: The Husband’s One-Speed Love
• 05:00 – Growing with Changing Relationships (Children)
• 07:11 – “Love is Smart”: Insight, Wisdom & Action
• 09:29 – Producing the Fruit of Love (Empty Glass Metaphor)
• 10:44 – Jesus on the Greatest Commandment
• 11:18 – The Woman at the Well & God as the Source
• 12:34 – Love in Marriage: Feeling and Action
• 13:40 – Closing Prayer

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Tone & Language Notes

Victoria’s tone throughout is warm, encouraging, and conversational, seamlessly weaving scripture, anecdotes, and practical advice. Her message is optimistic and action-oriented, inspiring listeners to embrace growth, flexibility, and depth in their expressions of love—always rooted in God’s unfailing source.

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This summary reflects all main points and memorable moments from Victoria Osteen’s “Learn To Love Well.” For continuous encouragement, the Osteens invite listeners to revisit Paul’s prayer daily and seek new ways to express and grow love in every area of life.

Transcript

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[Joel Osteen]

Hi, this is Joel in Victoria. Thanks for listening to our podcast and thanks for supporting the ministry.

[Victoria Osteen]

If you enjoyed today's message, why don't you be a blessing and share it with a friend?

[Joel Osteen]

We appreciate you and pray for God's very best in your life.

[Victoria Osteen]

Yes, good to be in the house of the Lord. Thank you for coming today. You may be seated. I want to encourage you today with a scripture that Paul prayed over the Philippian Church, and I think this is a great scripture that we should pray each and every day. It's found in Philippians 1. He prayed this. He said, I pray that your love would abound in knowledge and depth of insight. His prayer to the Philippian Church was this. I want you to agree with me. That's why I'm sending you this letter, that your love would grow, increase, multiply. Now let me tell you something. He wasn't writing this letter to them because he had noticed in his visits that they weren't people of love historically, they were people who loved. But he was saying to them, this is such an important prayer because your love has so much potential to go so much further and build such a greater foundation in your life. He was saying, agree every day with me as I pray for you that your love will reach its fullest. You see, that's what we need to pray every single day. God, would your love abound in me more and more in depth and insight and knowledge and wisdom. You see, we have to learn to love well. Because the way we love, how we show our love, the mercy we give, the grace we extend. You see, it's a direct impact on our own life. The way we love has a direct impact on our own life. We need to learn to love well. We can't just put our love on autopilot. We can't just push it on cruise control. Let's just say that because we all have a cruise control on our car, we set the speed and go. We can't just set the speed and allow it to stay the same all the time. In every situation, we have got to understand that our love has to mature, it has to develop, and it has to grow. And in order for it to do that, we have to make a commitment to love. Because it's all about commitment, focus and determination. I mean, why do you pray? You pray because you want something to change. You're committed to it. You pray because you know God has your answer and that if you'll give it to him, he'll help you. So we can't just set our love once and keep it set at that same speed. You know, I heard this woman. I heard a story about this woman who was talking to her husband, and she said to him, honey, do you really love me? And he looked at her so strangely, and he said, why would you ask me that question? He said, I told you 25 years ago when I married you that I loved you. And if it changes, I'll let you know. You see, that man had one speed. He didn't understand that love grows. You see, it's interesting because as people, we evolve, we grow. We change, our situations change, Things in our life change. So we have to be willing to adapt our love to that change. We cannot just let it stay the same. I think about my children. When they were small. I'd scoop them up anytime I wanted to. They could be walking across the floor, and I want to grab them and show them my love. I'd Just scoop them right up, tickle their little bellies, you know, just cuddle with them, poke little food in their mouth. You know all those things you do to babies and they can't do anything about it. It's so fun. And you're showing your affection, you're showing your love and you're showing your joy. But now my children are grown, I can't cuddle them, poke food in their mouth, tickle their bellies. No, they're adults. I have to understand. My love has to adapt and grow to who they are. If I want to grow with them, I'm going to have to make some changes. Yes, I wish they'd stay babies forever. Yes, I wish I could show them the same love. I. I would love to say just put that on cruise control and let it happen. But life changes. We change. We evolve. And our love must be willing to evolve. I study my children now. I let them have an opinion. I adapt to their abilities. I try to find ways to communicate with them in a better way, a way that will enrich our lives and our relationship. I want insight to who they are and what I can do to serve them well with my love. You see, you adapt. Love is smart. That's what Paul was saying. He said, I pray that your love would grow and abound in knowledge, depth of insight. Your love should have wisdom. Your love should see beyond the superficial. It should see beyond what's happening right now. Our love should not be limited to the love we're receiving. We can't just set a standard. If you give me love, I'll give you love. That's not building that foundation that God wants to build in us. Can I tell you, when we decide we're going to be the person that comes up higher, we're going to be the person that loves. In spite of how someone is showing us love, it does something to the inside of you. It strengthens your resolve. It causes you to be able to be better. And you know what? How many of you want to get better in here? I know I do. I long to get better. We got to be strong, smart with our love. We can't be reckless and careless. Can I tell you something? Love doesn't wait for things to happen. Love doesn't just hang around waiting. Love makes stuff happen. Love builds relationships. Love serves. Love gives. Love just doesn't give what it wants to give. Love is willing to look into a situation and give what the situation is in need of. Love is smart. I want that. I want to get up every morning and Agree with Paul. Paul, I'm agreeing with that prayer. Anytime you see a prayer in the Bible, like Paul said, he said, I'm writing to you because I am praying this for you. Basically, find those things in the Bible, get in contact with them, get in agreement with them, pray them over yourself. They have so much truth. The way we show love is going to impact our life. It's 30 years Joel and I have been studying each other and adapting to one another. We've made love happen. We haven't waited for it to happen. You know, love, it's a feeling, but love is also an action. That feeling can either grow or that feeling can fizzle out. I want my love to grow and to abound. I want it to produce. Because that's what love does. That's what God, love does. It produces good fruit. In your life, can I tell you something? You will eat of the fruit that you produce. You're not going to be able to eat fruit that you don't produce. You can eat only from the fruit that you produce. Just like you can't drink out of an empty glass. You know, some of you are saying to me, victoria, I have loved and loved and loved, and I'm not getting love back. Then I have to tell you something. You're drinking from an empty glass. And the reason I can say that is, in reality, the only way that we can love is to allow the love of God in us first. That is the only way that we can love. We don't have the potential in our human ability alone to love. We may be able to try to love, but we don't have the capacity to love on our own. In fact, Jesus told the Pharisees this in Matthew 22. They said, Jesus, what's the greatest command in the law of Moses? And he said, the greatest and first command, the command that you should keep the most, the one that is the most important is love the Lord your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all of your strength. See, they wanted to keep the law. They thought if they could keep the law, they would be right with God. And Jesus was saying this. He was saying, you can't keep the law by yourself. You can't do it by yourself. You need a savior. That's why I'm here, to keep the continual flow of love coming. Listen, when my love tanks low, I'm trying to drink out of an empty glass. There is a source of love that never runs dry, and it's the Lord Jesus Christ. It's God, the Father he is love. The Bible says he is love. When you come to him, you are coming to love. I think about the woman at the well. There's a story in the Bible, and Jesus met this woman at the well, a Samaritan woman. And he was talking to her. She was coming to fill her jug up of water so she would have sufficient water for the day. And he told her something very insightful. He says, you drink water that will go away. You will thirst again with the water that you drink. He was saying, what you have will not last. But he says, if you receive what I have, I have water that'll cause you to never be thirsty again. I have a flow of living water, of living love that will fill you up. That's the only way this love that Paul is talking about can abound. You see, if you want good relationships, if you want your life impacted, you've got to come to God. You got to let him transform you. You got to let that foundation of love be built in you. And then as you release that love, there'll be a flow of love that'll strengthen you and it'll continue. It's interesting because the Pharisees just asked him what the first commandment was. But he went ahead and told them what the second one was. And he said, let me tell you what the second one is. And it's the same as the first. Love your neighbor as yourself. What he was saying, if you get the first part of the equation right, the second part of the equation will come much easier. Do you want to agree with me, as I agree with Paul, that this love of God would just abound? Abound, abound. It wouldn't depend on our outer circumstances, but it would depend on what's going on in the inside of us, the well that we're connected to, the one with living love. I want to pray for us right now. Father, I just thank you. Just as Paul prayed, we come into agreement with that prayer. That, Father, our love would increase and abound in knowledge and depth of insight. That God, we aren't superficial in our love, but it runs deep. It has roots. It is full of wisdom and knowledge. It adapts and it adjusts and it brings us good fruit. Father, I thank you that every day we'll fill our spigot with the living love, the living water that causes us to be able to abound and to release it to the people around us. Father, we thank you that you are love and that you love us with an everlasting love. Father, at the end of the day. We believe as long as we're connected to you, we can do the impossible. Love even when love's not being shown to us. We can build Father our love in you and abound in every good work in Jesus name. Amen and Amen. Amen.

[Joel Osteen]

It's easy to get stuck in life because of fear and lack of confidence or we've been through disappointments. But I'm excited about Victoria's new book, Grace to Go. It'll help you move past what's holding you back and step into new levels of your destiny.

[Victoria Osteen]

My heart for this book is that you will discover the courage, the gifts and the faith that God has put in you so that you can see your dreams come to pass. It's not too late. The obstacles are not too big. The grace of God equips you to go beyond your comfort zone and overcome what looks impossible. You are stronger than you think. You are not alone. You are Grace to Go as our.

[Joel Osteen Ministry Announcer]

Way of saying thank you for your gift of any amount this month month we'll send you Victoria Osteen's brand new book Graced to step onto the bigger, bolder life that belongs to you. This inspiring resource will help you break through fear, insecurity or regret and activate the faith to move forward. Each chapter will stir your spirit, renew your perspective and empower you to live boldly. You don't have to wait for perfect conditions. God's grace meets you where you are and propels you into a future full of purpose and peace. With an additional gift, we'll send you the Grace to Go Bold bundle featuring Grace to Go by Victoria Osteen and Pray Bold by Joel Osteen. These two powerful books will stir your faith, break hesitation and help you believe big again.

[Victoria Osteen]

Grace is power. When you receive it by faith, it enables you to take the next step so you can become all you were created to be.

[Joel Osteen]

Victoria and I are so grateful to spend this time with you. We pray for you and your family every day. Thank you so much for your prayer and support. Your generosity is helping people around the world. Special thank you to our Champion of Hope partners for your monthly gifts. If you're not a partner, I hope you'll consider becoming one. Remember you can watch the services online every Sunday morning. Download our daily podcast watch on YouTube, the new Joel Osteen Network Social media of course. Listen on SiriusXM 24. 7. We'll help you stay encouraged and inspired. If you're a pastor, we would like to invite you to our Pastors gathering. We would be honored to spend the day with you here at Lakewood. We'll share some of the things we've learned, insights behind the scenes. Be a time of inspiration and encouragement. We'd love to meet you.

[Joel Osteen Ministry Announcer]

These two powerful books will stir your faith, break hesitation and help you believe big again. Be sure to request your copy of these powerful resources today for an additional donation. This month we are also offering the NLT Large Print Thin Line Reference Bible. This Bible also enables you to connect through your smartphone or tablet to a vast power packed array of study notes, devotionals, interactive maps, videos, worship music. You can request these inspiring resources by calling 888-567-JOEL or logging on to jolostein.com today. Call or click anytime 24 hours a day. Start fresh. Step forward. You are graced to go request your copies today.

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